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He noticed the way that Aerith’s expression would fall the moment someone would look away from her. A smile would appear when the next child would step up for one of the presents Avalanche had gathered, but when she’d thought no one was looking, something would cause her to become…sad? Disappointed? Cloud couldn’t put his finger on it, but every time he noticed, it would leave him with a strange feeling in his chest.
Something was wrong, he didn’t know what it was, but it bothered him regardless.
At the end of the day, they had all gathered at a small restaurant nearby, the wind of winter’s kiss made all their cheeks and noses rosy, so the promise of a hot drinks and food finally being fulfilled brought such a relief. Most of them let out soft sighs, save for Cloud and Vincent. Yuffie of course, let out a loud groan and unceremoniously plopped on to the table.
“You and me both.” Aerith joked. A few chuckles were heard at the table before Aerith raised her glass towards Tifa. “But it was all thanks to you! What a great idea Tifa!” Barret cheered and pulled Tifa into a quick hug before raising his glass in tandem.
“Oh come on you guys.” Tifa waved their compliments away, but the blush on her face showed how much it mattered to her. “They just reminded me of back home.”
“Nibelhiem?” Yuffie asked.
“N-No, Sector Seven.” Tifa’s voice trailed off as little. It felt a little strange to consider Sector 7 her home after all this time, but she missed it dearly. “Anyway, it was just nice to do something for the kids, especially in the middle of all-“ She gestured. “-this.”
“Well, Holy Flame’s never been a big deal to me, but it was nice to see those kids all excited for the toys we gave out, and they liked you a lot huh Red?” Yuffie looked over at their feline companion, who currently laid on the ground licking his paw.
“Yes, and they didn’t know how to be gentle.” Red XIII complained.
Yuffie giggled and the rest of the group began to share stories of their day, providing insight to their activities when they were away from each other. A celebration of The Holy Flame’s Gift, one where the entirety of Avalanche provided this small towns’ people with toy deliveries, making sure each child could have a little holiday spirit during tough times. The stories shared included children running away at the sight of Vincent, while others begged for Red XIII to be their gift instead. Soon the night was getting on and the team began to retire to their inn rooms.
The inn rooms were comfortable and cheap enough that they could each get their own if they wanted, even if the girls decided to share one anyway. As he got himself comfortable, Cloud found himself proud of his work today. Very rarely did he and his companions have breaks, chasing after a cosmic villain was more mentally draining than he cared to admit, and just spending the day helping others was rarer still. It was a nice feeling, one that he wanted to take in for a moment. Still, Cloud couldn’t get Aerith’s crestfallen expression out of his mind. What could have possibly caused someone like her to be sad during a time like this?
A soft knock at the door snapped from his thoughts. “Cloud?” He heard from the other side. He got up to open the door and found Aerith in the doorway.
“Hey!” She said cheerfully.
“Hey?” Cloud looked down the hall.
“It’s just me.” Aerith said.
“Oh.”
“Is that bad?” She said with a faux huff.
“No, it’s just, I mean- what are you doing here?” Cloud stammered in response.
Aerith giggled, she always managed to keep him on his toes after all. “I wanted to come check in on you. You didn’t talk much during dinner.”
He doesn’t usually, and she knows that.
“No, I was just a little tired I guess. I’m fine.” There’s a pause between them. “Thanks for checking?”
“Yeah of course, no problem!” Aerith replied a little too quickly.
Another pause.
“Well I’m gonna-“
“Hey do you-“
Aerith giggled again, and her laugh grew a little harder with the vision of Cloud's small smile creeping up the corner of his lips.
“What is it?” Cloud just asked.
Aerith bit her lower lip a little, something she caught herself doing whenever Cloud looked at her as intently as he was right now. “Do you want to go for a walk?”
Cloud took a second to examine her, and looked to the boots he had just taken off in his room. “Sure.”
Cloud closed the door, quickly put on his boots and grabbed a light leather jacket before coming back, pausing before he touched the doorknob. He’s never been one who could truly discern someone’s issues, but something was definitely up at this point, and he had to figure out if he had the bravery to comment on it. It was in the spirit of the holiday wasn’t it? Whatever the case, it was important that he got back out there, he knew it. Cloud took in a breath and opened the door.
“Ready?” Aerith said with a smile.
“Yeah.”
A warm smile appeared on her face and he felt lighter almost instantly. The warmth of her smile seemed to leave her and enter his chest, with perfect timing as the night wind seemed to hit his face the moment they stepped outside. Aerith shivered just a little and he had half a mind to reach out to her and pull her in, but he stayed his hand instead, keeping himself at a close distance.
They walked like that for a bit, only the sounds of the wind’s kiss filling the void. Finally Aerith’s sweet voice interrupted the wind. “So what do you like to do on Holy Flame?” She didn’t turn around, instead she simply placed her hands behind her back and continued to walk.
Cloud was quiet for a moment, unsure of how to reply. “Not much. I don’t really think about it.”
“Really? No gift giving, or special meals?”
Is this really what she brought him out in the middle of the night for?
Cloud was quiet again, hoping that she would speak again.
Aerith did when she simply asked, “What about favorite decorations?”
“Not really.”
“Traditions? What about trips or the lights?”
“Not that I remember.”
“Come on, you had to have had something you liked about the holiday.”
“You’re pushy today.”
Aerith giggled and let out a soft sigh. Finally she turned to Cloud, a coy expression on her face. “I am. So just tell me already.”
Cloud couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle. He stepped closer and shrugged. “I don’t really remember, we didn’t have much money so we didn’t really do gifts…”
“We?”
“My mom.”
Aerith nodded. “You mentioned her before, in Kalm. She seemed fun.”
Cloud pulled his jacket a little closer to his chest as if the wind had suddenly grown colder. “She liked to make pastries in the morning. For breakfast.”
“For the holiday?”
Cloud nodded.
“Were they good?”
He nodded again. “She was a good baker. Cook too. We would eat those in the morning, and then we would go to the middle of the town. There would be a small festival, games, toys, things like that.” He paused as the memory of the sounds and smells entered his mind. Cloud left it drift over him, taking in the memory of his mother, her soft touch in contrast with her stern voice. How she would urge him to go play with the other kids, but he just stuck by her side as they played some festival games, how he would always win her at least one small thing and she would proudly declare it was the best gift she had ever gotten.“It was… nice.”
When she didn’t reply, Cloud had thought he said something wrong, Aerith always had something to say, and this time, her smile remained mysterious as she turned away from him. They began walking again, still with no destination in mind, but simply in the company of each other and the wind. While it was only a few more minutes, the silence from her made it feel even longer, causing him to feel a tension in his chest. That strange feeling was back and this time with her so close it was hard not to feel it in full force. Cloud gripped his jacket a little tighter as he picked up his pace.
“Hey-“
“I miss my mom.”
Something about that cuts him deeper than a knife. She interrupts before he can think where his sentence was going in the first place and any remaining further thoughts disappear. He doesn’t know what to say, if he should say anything at all. So he steps closer, taking a place directly at her side. When she remains quiet again, Cloud finally realizes that this is hard for her. That strange feeling overwhelms him.
The cold around them gave way to a small snowfall, emphasizing the silence between them.
He has spent so much time with her honesty, her bravery, and he realized then that he doesn’t know what to do with a reserved Aerith, one that doesn’t simply let her feelings be known, as if her emotions didn’t always flow like a rushing river. She’s built up a wall, one that he’s only seen the flashes of from time to time, and in doing so it’s led him to ask more questions, make more comments with her more than it does with anyone else he knows.
Is this what it’s like for her? To see the walls he’s spent ages building for himself and crave the need to break them and pull him out? Is that why she’s always prodding him, poking him?
If that’s the case, if this is how she feels when she looks at him…Then maybe, he can try it her way for once.
“Elmyra?” He begins. She nods beside him, and he notices that her chest moves a little strangely. Cloud doesn’t know what to say but he continues anyway. “I’m sure she misses you too. Have you been in touch with her at all?” She shakes her head. “I see.” Aerith’s hand moved to her arm as she began to coil up a little. “Well… what did the two of you do together?”
“W-what?” Finally she turned to him.
Cloud shrugged, trying to keep the air between them casual. “I told you about my mom, so it’s your turn.”
Aerith’s mouth stayed open for a moment before she let out a laugh. “Cloud Strife, are you trying to cheer me up?” He shrugged again and she laughed once more, “Wow I must in a really bad way huh?”
“Consider it your Holy Flame gift.” He said with a small smirk.
Aerith smiled, this time a genuine one, and not the one that made him worry. He smiled back.
“Well, we would wake up really early in the day and start preparing a big meal. Mom always wanted to make a ton of food so we have a ton of people over. She would get really stressed though, so I would be there to help her keep things on track, keep things organized!” Her arms spread out to emphasize the amount of food and flexed when speaking about her role as a project manager, a rather silly set of gestures that made Cloud shake his head. “But we wouldn’t be alone, Ms Folia and the kids would always come help, and then we would eat all of it together, exchange a few small gifts and then-“ She cut herself off suddenly, the smile from before fading from her face. “I’ve been so focused on Mom, I didn’t think about how I can’t be there for the kids either…”
“Oates and that moogle kid?” Cloud asked.
She let out a small sound of agreement. “All the kids from Leaf House. We have a big house compared to others in the slums, so Mom liked to use it to host you know?” Aerith tucked her hands behind her back and looked to the sky, her eyes twinkling with the brightness of the stars. “I know we were fortunate, not many people can have a green garden in their backyard.” She let out a humorless chuckle. “Hell, not many people have a backyard to begin with. So it made me happy, to be able to give back like that. I just hope everyone’s doing okay without me.”
“But how are you…without them?” Cloud blurted out.
Her chest moved strangely again, and at this close distance it hit Cloud that she was trying to hold off her tears. He stepped closer.
“I’m alone.” Aerith choked out.
He stepped closer, nearly closing any distance between them, not knowing what force was suddenly taking over his body, but it willed him to place a finger on her cheek to catch a falling tear.
“I’m here. We all are.”
The dam broke and Aerith nodded in between sobs. “I-I know…” Cloud placed a hand on her shoulder but he let her continue. “Everyone misses their family, some people don’t even have family to miss, and I’m-“
“Sad. It’s okay.”
Aerith’s head snapped up to him, her face filled with awe, the intensity of which was only matched by the smile on his face. “Cloud…” she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into an embrace. When Aerith felt his hands at her waist, she pulled him into a deeper hug, letting her tears wet his shoulder for a few moments before pulling away. “Thank you…” She wiped her own tears and let out a small embarrassed laugh. “We should get back huh?”
Cloud didn’t reply, he simply kept his gaze on her, leaning in closer and closer until finally his lips touched hers in the gentlest of presses. Aerith felt her heart leap to her throat and her cheeks felt like they were on fire. Without another thought she pulled him tighter, making their kiss deeper. The cold of the wind meant very little with the warmth of their kiss built up in their chests, trailing to the tips of their fingers, leaving them tingling. They drank the feeling the kiss gave, breathing deeply when they pulled away.
After a beat the two of them let out a sigh. The redness that dusted their cheeks made the two of them chuckle. Cloud spoke with a rare softness in his voice. “We should yeah.”
Aerith gave him a smile. “Thank you for listening. You’re surprisingly good at this.” She teased.
“Your holiday gift, remember?”
She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Then that’s yours.” She said with a wink.
Cloud shrugged. “The other one was better.”
“Oh, you’re just terrible!”
The two laughed and began their walk back towards the inn, both feeling a lot lighter than they did earlier. That strange feeling in his chest was gone, and only then did he realize that it dissipated every time he noticed her smile was genuine, a different smile than the ones she used when she was being coy or mysterious. He was worried about her, and that smile made it so the pain in his chest would go away.
Cloud began to wonder when he started to feel this way, when his heart began to hurt, began to sing, all from a simple smile from the girl beside him. When had she invaded his thoughts so much? If he was being honest with himself, it was when he first met her, the way he couldn’t stop thinking about a flower girl who courageously stood in the middle of the city streets as if fire and a bombing hadn’t occurred a few moments ago. But gradually she had just managed to bury herself into his heart and tonight everything came to a head until all he could do was kiss her. A kiss that made his skin tingle and his knees weak and made him feel like the most powerful man in the world.
As they walked back, he noticed the skip was back in her step and that to him, he thought, was his actual holiday gift.