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“Tim….What’s this??” Lucy asks him while holding up his phone, he had handed it over to her without thinking so that she could order their lunch, she’d been doing it since she was a rookie and his loyalty points for the Thai restaurant well more than made up for handing his phone over to her from time to time.
He looks up and see’s what she’s talking about. Fuck! That fucking photo! He should have changed it already, it had caused enough drama, but well he just couldn’t, not that photo.
“It’s called a photo Chen, you see in 1822, Joseph Niepce…” he started to deflect.
“I think between the two of us I’m slightly more versed in what a photo is Tim." Lucy interrupts him "This however is a photo of me, as your home screen…”
“No it’s not.”
“Seriously? I’m literally looking at it Tim.”
“It’s a photo of Kojo, you just happen to be with him.”
“Right? And out of the, oh I don’t know 600 photos I’ve sent you of Kojo in the past year, this is the only one good enough? His face is blurred Tim!”
Tim closes his eyes, he’s had this fight before, almost word for word….
3 weeks ago
“What is this Tim?” Ashely asks with pure anger in her voice.
He looks up and see’s her holding his phone.
“Why have you got my phone?” He asks, he would never give her permission to be on it.
“Don’t avoid the question, what the hell is this?”
“It’s a photo, you can make them into your home screens or lock screens now.”
“I know that, but why do you have Lucy as your home screen photo?!”
“It’s of Kojo okay, she just happens to be in the picture with him.”
“Show me your photo gallery Tim.”
“What? No! Why would you even care about that?” he doesn’t know why he just doesn’t show her, it’s not like he has naked photos of Lucy on his phone, as much as he might have fantasied about that.
“I want to see what other photos of Kojo you have, because even though I don’t like him, I’ve taken better ones than this of him.”
“Can you not just stand there and tell me that you don’t like my dog!”
“Stop fucking deflecting! Why do you have a photo of Lucy on your phone Tim!?”
“Christ Ash, we’ve known each other for years, we co-own Kojo, it happens. She even had a photo of me as her lock screen when she was a rookie. My girlfriend then didn’t get all pissy like this.”
“Excuse me? She’s got photos of you as well? You realise that’s what couples do right? Not co-workers.”
“Maybe teenagers Ashley, but it may have escaped your notice, but I’m not that, Lucy and I are just friends okay.”
“Could have fucking fooled me. Christ, I should have listened to my father.” She huffs gathering up her stuff.
“What?” Tim is so confused now, why is she talking about her dad?
“Yeah, he tried to tell me that you were off limits, already spoken for, that fucking Lucy Chen the stations god damn princess, who apparently can never do any wrong, had laid claim to you. I laughed him off, because seriously, her? Like you would ever, but then there was that date, and every time I’ve seen the two of you near each other. Well have at it Tim, you go and live your life with her, two fucked up and damaged souls pretending that they’re not, good luck!”
“You know Ashley, I put up with a lot from you, even you trying to change me, even your aversion to my dog, and you can say whatever the hell you want about me, but if I ever hear another word like that about Lucy from you, I will find a way to make your life hell.”
“Wow, you couldn’t even try deny it. Goodbye Bradford, good luck!” She slams the door behind her when she leaves.
Tim stares at the photo, he remembers the moment that he took it all those months ago. Kojo had gotten his leash tangled around his legs somehow, and the more Lucy had tried to help him, the more tangled he got. It was close to sunset and the colours around them made Lucy glow more than usual, she was laughing while trying to sort out this mess and he called out to her.
“Hey Chen?”
She had looked up at him, her eyes filled with light and laughter, her smile radiant.
“Yeah?” she laughed out and then giggled even more when she saw he had taken a photos.
“You know you could just help me instead of taking photos for all your fans.” She laughed harder at the thought of him on social media and then the pure, simple, honest thought that ran across his brain was ‘I want to marry her.’
The thought had terrified him, so he did what he always did when he was scared, he fucked things up. He started dating Ashley, pushed her towards Chris and well now he was here, in this moment, no Ashley and Lucy was staring at him with her, ‘You’d better start talking eyes’.
“It’s just a photo Lucy. You’ve had of me on your phone before.”
“Yes, fine that’s fair, which I did to irritate you, which I showed you.” She gives him back his phone. “Tim, that photo was taken a least 6 months ago, have you had it your home screen this entire time?”
Tim doesn’t answer. He just looks at her, willing her to know what he’s thinking so he doesn’t have to say it, she’s always been able to tell, they’ve always been able to communicate without words, he needs her to do it now.
Some understanding flashes across her eyes, she’s getting there, he thinks she knows what he's been hiding, but no, Lucy Chen would never let him off easy.
“Tim, please tell me, why this photo?” she says softly.
“Because that was the moment I knew.”
“You knew what?”
“I knew that I loved you, I knew that I wanted to marry you, to spend my life with you, that was the moment I accepted what I had known deep down for ages and kept on denying, that you are the only person in the world that I could ever be happy with, ever be at peace with.”
Lucy hits his arm, he should have expected it, at least it wasn’t a slap through the face which he deserved more, everything he just said was so inappropriate.
“Why the fuck didn’t you say anything!? Why did you start dating Ashley? Why did you push me towards Chris? Why?”
“Because I was scared, because it’s you, and you’ve been hurt so much and I just couldn’t risk doing that to you as well.”
“And do you still?” she asks softly.
“Still what?” he hasn’t looked her properly in the eyes since his confession.
“Do you still love me?”
“Lucy, that’s one thing I’ll never be able to stop doing.” He lifts his eyes and looks directly into hers. “But I’ve lost my chance, you’re with Chris now.”
“I’m not.” Lucy interrupts him.
“What?”
“I’m not with Christ, I ended it weeks ago.”
“What? Why?”
“Because Tim, he’s not you, he’d never be you, and you’re all I want.”
The silent communication now wasn’t needed as they both pushed forward to kiss, something they should have done months, if not years ago, but here they were and the kiss was perfect.
It had been 6 months since their first real kiss, plenty more photos and been taken, Lucy changing his home screen ones almost daily, but that first photo remained his favourite. Tonight he set up the canvas print he had had made of it on their living room table, a small box placed in front of it, he knows he should go down on one knee to ask her, but he want’s to take this photo, because this photo won’t be of the moment he knew he wanted to marry her, it was going to be of the moment he was finally brave enough to ask.