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Varian shuffled closer to the campfire as it crackled, watching the embers dance. He'd been moping here for Sun knows how long, the rest of the group having retired for the night. He couldn't sleep, not after today's quest. Not after all the painful memories and feelings it had dredged up. He had been doing so much better, hadn't he? Apparently, that wound wasn't as healed as he thought it was.
"You still out here, goggles?" Varian jumped as Hugo appeared behind him. Was he so zoned out that he hadn't noticed the other boy approach? Maybe Nuru was right, he did need sleep. Later, though. Hugo's face, usually inscrutable hidden behind circle-framed glasses, softened as he took in Varian curled up in front of the flames, and sat beside him.
He had been acting like this more often, Varian noticed. Thoughtful, attentive, considerate; all words he would have never associated with the thief at the beginning of their journey. Quite frankly, it was driving him a little crazy, and it definitely wasn't helping squish his dumb, teeny-tiny crush on the other. Why Hugo was suddenly so uncharacteristically nice to him was a mystery. He probably shouldn't get used to it though, not after the mess that was the water trial.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Ah. He had zoned out again. Varian blinked at the fire, recalling dark caves, rushing water, enchanted memory pools, losing himself in a rage he had thought long forgotten, gasping for air as he was pulled from the depths, the last to surface, which meant they had all seen, they all saw-
The next time he had to deal with magic would be too damn soon.
"... I feel like I tricked you guys into believing I'm a good person." He could feel how Hugo tensed at his side and kept his eyes trained on the dying embers of the campfire, taking a shaky breath. "I understand if Nuru and Yong are uncomfortable around me, or if I have to earn back your trust-"
Whack!
He choked as Hugo slapped him upside the head playfully, a familiar irritation coursing through him as he whipped his head around to glare at the grin on the blonde's face. "What the HELL, Hugo??"
"You're joking, right? You? A bad person? Come on, stripes, if you're gonna tell a joke, at least make it funny."
Varian ground his teeth. "Be serious, Hugo! I know what you all saw back there-"
"I am serious. And I know damn well what I saw." It was startling how quickly Hugo's teasing energy shifted, his earnest tone quieting Varian. "Your past doesn't define you. Nuru and Yong would never judge you for it."
"Doesn't it, though?" Varian sighs. "I've done so many bad things, more than what you glimpsed in those pools. I feel like I'll never truly be able to make up for it all."
"You were just a kid, goggles! Come on, what's that shit you're always spouting? 'Everyone deserves a second chance'? Since when was the greatest alchemist in the kingdoms such a hypocrite?" Varian blushed and grinned weakly, wanting to jab at Hugo's slip-up (he never compliments Varian without throwing in some comment about how his skills were far superior, obviously ), but he just kept going , stunning Varian into silence.
"You're smart, so smart , and so full of determination I'm surprised it hasn't started leaking out of your ears. You never half-ass anything, the stickler for details you are, even when winging it is not that big a deal-" Varian jabbed him with an elbow, earning an undignified squawk, "and- AND! You never give up. Not on this mission, not on this little group, even when we're insufferable." His breath caught as Hugo clapped him on the shoulder. "You lift us up and bring us together. You're the glue to our group, stripes."
His chest felt tight, and he willed himself not to cry in front of Hugo, who was effortlessly picking him apart by his fraying seams and patching him back up again. Hugo! Who he had bickered with from the beginning! Hugo, who took every opportunity to ruffle his feathers, who never listened to instructions, who took to cooperation like a fish to land, and who apparently could take the tiny pieces of his heart and delicately glue them together with hands practised from years of working with miniatures and machinery. As if he cared about him, as if he understood him, as if maybe he-
"You see yourself as some villain who can never be redeemed, but you're not. I see you, Varian. You're incredible . And I know the others see it too."
Varian, stunned and a little breathless, stared at Hugo with pink cheeks and wet eyes and smiled.
"You saying you care about me or something, Hugo?" He meant for it to sound like a quip, but the way his voice cracked and wavered betrayed the vulnerability in his words.
The air around them turned quiet, and Varian watched Hugo's face flicker through a hundred unreadable microexpressions. He almost expected Hugo to break character and tease him for getting so sappy, for that smarmy grin to take over because 'really, Varian? Didn't know we had such a wet rag for a leader-'
"Of course I do. And I- I want to be better. I won't promise anything, I know what that means to you, so let me show you. Let me prove myself."
Hugo's face was determined, more serious than he'd ever seen it. Gratitude and butterflies filled his heart and it was all he could do to not tackle the other boy into the dirt, instead opting to pull him into a tight hug that made Hugo let out an Oof! and flutter his hands around uselessly, before settling on Varian's back. It wasn't the breathless squeeze of a bear hug he was used to back in Corona, but the soothing circles Hugo was tracing on his back weren't bad either. Just different. Good different.
"It's rotten work, caring about me." The words were muffled into Hugo's shirt. Hands reached down to link behind Varian's back, pulling him in tighter and sending his heart fluttering. Varian hid his red face in a pale neck.
"Not to me," Hugo whispered. "Not if it's you."
----
"You're leaving?"
Hugo froze in place, his hands gripping the straps of his bag. The castle entrance is eerily quiet in the early hours of the morning. He doesn't turn to face Varian as he answers.
"Yes."
There's no reply for a moment, and then-
"No."
That made his head turn, and Varian could finally meet tired eyes that not-so-subtly flitted over his bandages with a heavy guilt. "That's not exactly something you can decide for me, sweet cheeks."
"I'm not letting you run away." Varian puffed out his chest. Hugo scoffed in return, facing him with arms crossed.
"I was hardly running away, goggles. Just a... strategic retreat. Gotta leave early if I want to make it to Bayangor before nightfall."
Varian's heart sank.
"You're really leaving Corona?" The silent implications hung in the air. You're really leaving me?
"No reason to stay." Hugo shuffled his feet and avoided his eyes.
"No reason to-" Varian bristled with anger and marched over to the other man. "So, what, is that it? You were gonna take off without saying goodbye? To Nuru, to Yong? To me?" Hugo opened his mouth in rebuttal but Varian didn't let him get a word in, stabbing at his chest with a finger. "You asshole! Are our friends not enough of a reason? am I-" He stopped short, the fight draining out of him. "Am I not enough of a reason?"
"You..." Hugo trailed off, his guarded expression crumbling. "... You want me to stay?"
"Of course I do."
Hugo sucked in a sharp breath, confusion dancing across his features. "But I betrayed everyone."
"Yes." Varian stepped closer.
"I hurt you."
"Yes."
Hugo's face twisted. "So why? " He took a step back. "What are you doing, what is this?" He barked out a desperate laugh and brought a shaky hand up to pull at his hair. "Why are you giving me another chance to mess things up?!"
"Because I love you!" His voice rose to match Hugo's panicked energy, the sound echoing off the empty corridor.
It was deadly silent for a moment, even the breeze had hushed for this confession.
"I-" Varian stammered, gloves clenching and unclenching in a nervous tic as his heart lay on the marble floor between them. No going back now. "...I love you."
Varian stomach swirled as Hugo, eyes wide like a spooked deer, processed the words. He must have been right about what was happening between them, he had to have been.
"You love me?" Hugo whispered.
Varian nodded, determined. "I do." Hugo was still frozen in shock, mouth gaping like a fish, and the prolonged quiet was beginning to chip at his confidence. Oh, gods, please don't let this be a mistake-
He cleared his throat.
"That is- um- if you don't feel the same-"
"NO! No, Varian, of course, of course, I do." Varian startled as Hugo loudly interrupted and then coughed into a fist, embarrassed at his volume. "Of course I love you too." He let out a breathless chuckle, like anything else was unthinkable, and smiled, the most sincere, besotted smile Varian had seen from Hugo thus far, and he couldn't help but believe him. Warmth filled Varian as he returned the smile in earnest, he loves me too he loves me too- But just as quickly as the smile arrived, a pained expression marred Hugo's face. "...But I can't stay here, I don't deserve... this." He says, gesturing at the castle around them. "I don't deserve you. Not after-"
"Oh would you SHUT UP with that talk, Hugo!" Varian interrupted, grabbing his wrists and catching him by surprise. "We both know that's bullshit! I would be a hypocrite to turn you away now. Yes, you betrayed us, but I've done horrible things too." He softened his grip and trailed down to hold Hugo's hands, steadily meeting Hugo's gobsmacked gaze. "I was given a second chance because someone believed in me, in the good I could do. Everyone deserves a second chance, and I believe in you , Hugo. I see you; the good you're capable of."
Hugo's eyes shone as Varian reached up towards him.
"So would you just..." He held Hugo's face in the palms of his hands, delicate as though he would shatter. "...Stay? And let me love you? Please don't run, Hugo."
Hugo softly nodded his head, and Varian lit up brighter than the sun, smile so wide it was hurting his cheeks. "Great! um-" He stumbled, "Uh- Can I..." His eyes flickered down and up, a request, and Hugo quickly pulled him in for a kiss.
There were no stars or fireworks, the universe didn't fall apart and come back together again. It wasn't life-changing or world-reversing. It was just right. Varian's heart thumped in his chest, his cheeks blazed, and he felt something slot into place in his soul. It was delicate and vulnerable and Hugo's glasses were pressing into his face awkwardly and it was everything Varian had been wanting for months . Kissing Hugo felt like relaxing a tense muscle, like a rainstorm after a humid day, like relief, like coming home. A muffled sob sounded out between them, and Varian noticed his cheeks were damp with the other boy's tears. He pulled away just far enough to touch his forehead to Hugo's.
They stood there for a moment, in the quiet, content in each other's company. Having never been one to sit in silence for long, Hugo snorted and wiped his own tears off Varian's face. "Heh, Gods that's embarrassing..." Varian made a face and grabbed the hand. "It's okay to cry, Hugo. I don't mind."
"Oh, I'm not talking about that." Ah. There was that trademark smirk, albeit wobblier than usual. "I'm talking about how you chose me . Out of anyone . Embarrassing for you, really. You sure know how to pick 'em, freckles." Hugo's gloved hands returned to mess with his face.
Fighting back a grin and failing, Varian shoved at the hands mushing his cheeks together and turned on his heel. "Keep that up and I'm inclined to take it back." He quipped, prompting Hugo to gasp dramatically and fold himself over Varian like an irritating, tall blonde blanket.
"Sweet cheeks, you wouldn't! No take backsies, you looooove me~"
Varian groaned, pulling on Hugo's face to plant another kiss on his lips. "I do, Sun above, I love you, you big idiot." Hugo couldn't seem to form a response due to his face making an impressive impression of a tomato. If a tomato could stammer and flail its hands around. Varian grinned, taking his partner's hand and motioning towards the castle. "We should get back, I heard they're serving pancakes for breakfast, and I refuse to miss out on a 'thanks-for-saving-the-kingdoms' feast because you're still out here having a crisis."
Blush receding, Hugo rolled his eyes and strut towards the main hall, arm in arm with Varian. "Wow, goggles, way to take care of your boyfriend. You're doing a stellar job at this relationship business so far," He snarked. Varian watched his face droop in uncertainty as they approached the ornate doors to the hall.
"It'd be rotten work, y'know, dating the traitor. Still time to back out." He went for a teasing smirk, but the insecurity shone through. Varian gave his hand a supportive squeeze.
"Not to me," He promised. "Not if it's you."