Archive of Our Own ^beta

4th January,

Seokjin blinks rapidly when he sees Namjoon standing in front of him. Not because he doesn’t recognize who Namjoon is, but because Seokjin knows who Namjoon is.

“What, what are you doing, Joon?”

“Hehe,”

“Hehe?”

Seokjin doesn’t expect to only get some ‘hehe’ as an answer, but it’s Namjoon. He knows better than anyone how Namjoon is a really smart man, sometimes can’t be easily guessed about what’s going on inside his head and Seokjin usually just gets along with whatever Namjoon does, he just gets used to it.

Like now, when Namjoon is standing in front of him with a bouquet of flowers in his hands.

“What’s with that flower?”

“For you, hyung.” Namjoon hands the bouquet, and doesn't bother with Seokjin’s confused face. “Happy new year.”

Even with a deep frown on his forehead, Seokjin obediently accepts the bouquet. It’s a beautiful bouquet though. “Do we celebrate the new year with flowers now?”

Namjoon shrugs with a gentle smile drawn on his face. “We can always celebrate anything with flowers, hyung. Also, those are daisies.”

Daisies. It’s a beautiful white daisy.

Seokjin has little knowledge about flowers compared to Namjoon. Namjoon loves flowers like he loves his book collection, his bike, and his cute little bonsai he puts on his desk beside his monitor. So, actually when Namjoon gives him flowers, Seokjin doesn’t take it as a big surprise. It’s just a little bit out of habit.

“Daisy means a new beginning.” Namjoon continues, the smile hasn’t taken off and Seokjin lifts his head from smelling the flowers to see Namjoon talks to him like that explanation is exactly what Seokjin needs for his frowns.

“I hope you have a great year ahead this year, hyung.”

“Oh?”

“I know you’ve been through a lot last year, so I hope you have a better one.”

Seokjin smiles. Namjoon is a nice man, a nice friend and flowers are a nice gift though.

“What do you want for lunch? Hyung will buy it.” Seokjin offers.

“For the flowers I gave you?”

Seokjin laughs, shaking his head. “No, it’s because you are nice and fun, Joon. And, yeah thank you for the flowers too, Joon. It’s beautiful. I like it.”

Namjoon smiles happily, showing deep dimples on both of his cheeks. “My pleasure, hyung.”

Great start, it will be nice.

4th February,

It’s almost Valentine’s day, everywhere is like painting on red, pink, with a lot of love ornaments, chocolate, and everything, and Seokjin — maybe saying that he hates the day will be too strong, let’s just say Seokjin it’s not a really big fan of Valentine’s day.

For Seokjin, unfortunately, Valentine’s day comes with bad memories. Seokjin still clearly remembers his memories of that day, a couple years ago.

Seokjin used to like Valentine’s day. He prepared a lot that day, chocolate and the best present he could ever think for his boyfriend until the fact that they reserved a place for a romantic dinner ended up as a disaster. Seokjin being dumped on Valentine’s day.

His boyfriend — ex-boyfriend said he is a boring partner. Boring, like with a big B.

Seokjin is being dumped under a beautiful dim light, warm ambience, and in front of one of the most delicious steaks that Seokjin has ever eaten. Now he remembers, he regrets he didn’t eat the whole steak before he left the restaurant furiously, such a waste. At least he will have a little bit of good memories left among the nightmare.

Seokjin never knew why, even until today. He thought he was a good boyfriend this whole time, but turns out it’s not enough and since that day, Valentine’s just — a Valentine’s, when every chocolate company suddenly serves the best product for a couple.

“Hyung,”

Seokjin turns around to see Namjoon peeking at him from his cubicle right beside Seokjin’s desk. Namjoon looks worried. “Oh?”

“Are you okay?”

“Oh? I’m okay.” Seokjin smiles, even though maybe it’s not convincing enough. “What? Do you need some help, Joon?”

Namjoon folds his lips, shaking his head. “At least not about work. Do you have time after work today, hyung?”

“Are you sure It’s not about work, Joon?” Seokjin squints his eyes, getting suspicious. “I’m not helping you with numbers except you buy me dinner for the whole week.”

“Oh, wow.” Namjoon looks surprised, his eyes open wide hearing Seokjin’s one sided negotiation. “That’s robbery, hyung. The whole week? Also, come on, we knew that both of us hate numbers. Why did you even think about offering the help?” Namjoon rolls his eyes and pouts like he really needs the help.

Seokjin laughs heartily. “Then what? What can I do for you, Kim Namjoon?”

“There’s a newly opened arcade near.” Namjoon informs. “Let’s go there, hyung.”

“Arcade?”

Namjoon nods rapidly, enthusiastically. “Come on, hyung. I know how much you love arcade and we will have fun! Let’s leave these numbers for a while,” Namjoon points to the stack of paper on his table. “And have fun! What do you think, hyung?”

Valentine’s around the corner and there must be a lot of couples even when February just started, and Seokjin only has Namjoon on his side.

“There’s also a good tteokpokki stall!”

Seokjin smiles at Namjoon who sounds about ready to whine more if his wishes aren’t guaranteed. “You worked really hard, Joon. Have you ever thought about moving to the sales or marketing department? You will do great, Joon.”

“I only have you, hyung.”

“Don’t pout at me, Kim Namjoon.” Seokjin pinches Namjoon’s pouts, while chuckling at it because Namjoon looks like a big adorable baby. “Go, go, go, let’s go.”

Namjoon immediately grins. “And tteokpokki?”

“Be ready to burst.” Seokjin nods, agreeing. Tteokpokki will always be a good idea.

“And hyung,” Namjoon continues, stopping Seokjin from going back to work when he sees his friend taking on something from beside his chair. “For you.”

Seokjin stares at what Namjoon gives him after. Flower.

“Flower again?” Seokjin chuckles, accepting the bouquet right away.

“Yes, again. I’m sorry if you are expecting something more grand, hyung. I love flowers.”

“What is it?”

“Hyacinth.” Namjoon tells Seokjin. “It’s pink hyacinth. It’s beautiful, isn’t it? Pink suits you well.”

Seokjin sees the flowers, and Namjoon is right, it’s beautiful. “I think every flower shop will offer you a pink one since it's almost Valentine's day.”

“Do you know what pink hyacinth means?”

“What?”

“It's playful, joyful.”

“Oh? That’s an interesting meaning for these beautiful flowers.” Seokjin comments with a gentle laugh, seeing the bouquet fondly. “Thank you, Joon.”

Namjoon nods, looks as happy as Seokjin. “So, hyung. Remember, you are the most fun person I ever knew, no one should dare to call you boring again. Okay? You make everyone happy, hyung. Some of them just don’t deserve it.”

Seokjin hears every word quietly before lifting his head to meet Namjoon’s eyes. “You don’t have to play with my wound like that, Kim Namjoon. So rude.”

Namjoon grins. “Let’s go right at 5 pm, okay? I’m ready to beat you, hyung.”

“Like you can.”

Seokjin stares at the bouquet once again, then at Namjoon who is quickly going back to work like nothing happened. Seokjin amusedly sighs and eventually curls his lips into a smile. He knows Namjoon won’t be really playing with his wound.

Not when Namjoon is the only one who's on his side this time, so he doesn’t have to go through all those Valentine’s things alone.

“The one who loses, pays for tteokpokki, Joon. Keep that in mind.”

“You better get ready to pay more, hyung.”

4th March,

Seokjin scores himself as a good cook. Well, that’s a good thing and Seokjin is proud of it, because he can use it as a reason to nag Namjoon one day, when he looks as tired as a zombie after having an endless meeting.

“I can even put my Mario figurine under your eyes, Joon.” Seokjin comments when Namjoon comes to him tomorrow morning with two bottles of yogurt, and puts down one for Seokjin, strawberry one, Seokjin’s favorite. “And stop thinking about me, Joon. Look at yourself!”

Namjoon always thinks about other people. Such a really kind man and Seokjin always feels grateful that he has Namjoon as his best friend.

“You also should see yourself, hyung.” Namjoon takes a seat, sipping his yogurt for a couples sip before laying his head lazily on the pantry's table. They still have time before working hours start. “I can even park my bike under your eyes.”

“Don’t copy me.” Seokjin pouts

“I’m pasting, hyung. The younger learn the best from the older.” Namjoon casually mumblings. He sounds like he’s about to go to sleep anytime soon if someone gives him a pillow or suddenly they have a work day off.

“You and your smart mouth, Kim Namjoon.” Seokjin smacks his lips. “Get up, I’m bringing you some breakfast, Joon. Come on, get up.” Seokjin taps Namjoon’s back lightly before taking out the lunch box that he has been preparing since early morning.

“Breakfast? Your cook?” Namjoon gets up immediately and looks more fresh than ever as soon as Seokjin mentions the food. “Hyung!” He shouts happily when he sees Seokjin open the lunch box and the smell of bulgogi hits him.

“Bulgogi for breakfast? So fancy!”

“You need more protein and vegetables to live better, Joon.” Seokjin explains while handing Namjoon the chopstick that the man grabs it so fast like a soldier who grabs his weapon strongly. “I’m also bringing you lunch. Stop eating those instant noodles, you’ll get a wrinkle you don’t need.” Seokjin ducks his head to another lunch bag on the table.

“Oh?” Namjoon’s eyes spark brightly only from seeing the lunch box, like Seokjin just offers him a bag full of gold. “What do we celebrate for me to have this honor?”

“You don’t want to?”

Namjoon grabs another lunch box immediately before Seokjin changes his mind, while also securing the opened one with his other hands. “So rude of you to take it all back, hyung. Of course I’ll eat it. I’ll eat it and become a more proper human.” He grins.

“Are you already a proper human?”

“Maybe not too proper.” Namjoon laughs, starting to dig the bulgogi and steamed broccoli beside. “I can’t cook as good as you, hyung and I can’t drive.”

“What’s wrong with that? I also can’t eat garlic, yet I'm a Korean who uses garlic in every dish. The world won’t change if you can’t cook, drive, or eat garlic.”

Namjoon laughs, nodding with a mouth full of tasty meat. “We can complete each other, hyung. You know how I’m good at washing dishes.”

Seokjin follows the laugh, letting Namjoon eat all of the meat, enjoying how Namjoon chews the food deliciously, making everything he did worth it. “That’s nice. Do you also good at washing clothes or — “

“You have to pay me a lot and you won’t want to.” Namjoon cuts in, shoving the meat in Seokjin’s mouth and smiling. “I’m so expensive if you want me to take care of your house.”

“How much?”

“At least 24k gold.” Namjoon flips the wind above his short hair.

Seokjin rolls his eyes, but he is mirroring the laugh when Namjoon shows him another big satisfied grin. “Thank you for the food, hyung.”

“Eat a lot, Joon.” Seokjin nods. “Eat a lot so zombies won’t take you as one of them.”

“I’ll bring you with me, hyung.”

Later, at the end of the day, before Seokjin clocking out, he found a flower bouquet on his desk. “Oh,” Seokjin knows it must come from Namjoon, but Namjoon isn’t there and everyone is already leaving. It only left Seokjin alone and his gentle smile, taking the bouquet.

It’s a bright yellow tulip bouquet. Seokjin knows that it’s a tulip, it’s beautiful, and there’s a card attached. A card with Namjoon’s beautiful handwriting inside.

“Good food, good company makes a new hope, like these beautiful yellow tulips. Thank you, hyung. You fed me so well.”

Seokjin’s lips curl into a happy smile when he reads what Namjoon writes inside the card, and when his phone dings, giving him a message notification, Seokjin smiles wider.

“See you tomorrow, hyung. Thank you for the food. I promise I’m not gonna be a zombie.”

“Don’t be, you’ll lose those dimples and I’ll be sad, Joon.”

“Aye, captain.”

4th April,

It’s spring, the weather is getting warmer and,

“Joon!” Seokjin screams like they are in a different continent, when Namjoon is right beside him, only starting to sip his morning yogurt unbothered.

“Reserved.”

“What?”

Namjoon turns to give Seokjin a look and repeats his words slowly so Seokjin will understand it easier, even though of course they speak the same language. “Reserved, hyung.”

Seokjin frowns confusedly. “What? What is reserved?”

“Everything is you’re going to say.”

“You don’t know what I’m going to say, Joon.”

Namjoon hands Seokjin another bottle of yogurt. “I knew.” Namjoon nods, sipping again his yogurt after Seokjin accepts it with a deeper frown and a slight tilt head like it will help him to find better what Namjoon means by ‘he knew’, “I reserved a place in a new crab place on the corner of the street.” Namjoon points at Seokjin’s phone screen that is still being held in his hand, the first reason he calls Namjoon out like it’s an emergency. “Is that what you’re going to say, hyung? Am I right?”

Oh.

Seokjin gasps, not only because Namjoon sounds so confidence with his answer, but also because Namjoon is right, and how —

“But you don’t eat seafood, Joon.”

Namjoon shrugs. “Yeah, but I know you like it, hyung.”

“I just — I just want to show you the place.” Seokjin puts down his phone to open his yogurt, but before Seokjin can open it, Namjoon takes the bottle and helps Seokjin to open it. “I don’t think you — just reserved it like that, Joon.”

Namjoon smiles and Seokjin sips his yogurt in silence after mouthing a quiet thank you at his friend’s reflex. “I can eat other food. I think I’ve seen them also have fried vegetables or I’m sure they are kind enough for me.” Namjoon chuckles. “Or I will just sit there with you.”

Seokjin pouts. “You should tell me, Joon.”

“That’s what it's called, surprise, hyung.”

“But,”

Yet there’s another surprise waiting for Seokjin when Namjoon takes another flower basket from under his desk. Seokjin starts to wonder how Namjoon can hide a thing like that when it’s a little bit too big to hide.

“You’ll ruin it, and it’s very difficult to finally secure the seat, hyung.”

“Oh, I don’t say I’m not grateful for that.” Seokjin pouts. “I just — thank you, Joon.”

Namjoon grins widely and lifts the flower basket right at Seokjin’s face.

“And what is it?” Seokjin points at the flower with his chin, even though if he can only see himself, he knows his face isn’t doing a pretty good job to hide that he knows the fact that it is another flower Namjoon will give him.

It’s nice though, and the flowers are beautiful.

“For you,”

“For what?”

“For welcoming a spring?”

“Huh?”

Seokjin blinks, when Namjoon once again reminds him that the flowers are still on his hand for Seokjin to take. “We are also celebrating spring now?”

“Spring is a new beginning, the end of cold winter. There’s always a reason to celebrate spring day, hyung.” Namjoon smiles, nodding more likely to himself after Seokjin accepts the flower. “It’s daffodils, hyung. For good luck.”

“Good luck,”

Namjoon taps Seokjin’s arm lightly and gives him another smile. “Yes, so be ready to eat as many crabs as you want, hyung. I hope this spring will bring more good luck for you.”

“Joon,” Seokjin is looking at the bouquet once again before going back to Namjoon. “Have you been able to read my mind this whole time?”

Namjoon blinks before eventually covering his mouth to laugh at Seokjin’s reaction. “Do I look like it, hyung?”

“Do you?”

“Simple thank you will be appreciated and please eat a lot, hyung.”

“Thank you, Joon. I’ll buy you mint chocolate ice cream after.”

“No need to, hyung. Thank you.” Namjoon shakes his head. Seokjin knows Namjoon hates mint chocolate flavor while Seokjin is a big fan. Well, Seokjin mostly can eat all the flavors.

“I think it’s gonna be a good spring, Joon.”

“It better be, hyung.”

4th May,

Seokjin may need more than just good luck for his spring day. He may need all the luck the universe can get for him, because when he got the wedding invitation for the first time in the morning, Seokjin knew he needed something bigger than just luck.

Maybe his spring won't be that good.

It’s his ex-boyfriend’s wedding and for God’s sake, he turns out to have a gut to invite Seokjin after dumped him on Valentine’s day and made him cry, also because he made Seokjin wasted an expensive delicious steak. Damn.

“What?!” Namjoon shouts when he tells the man everything at lunch.

Seokjin quickly feeds Namjoon a piece of his egg rolls and chuckles. “Calm down, Joon.”

Namjoon chews his egg fast before now, speaking angrily in a lower voice. “Hyung, come one!” Namjoon hisses, defending himself that he has every right to shout angrily at the news that Seokjin brought to the table. “How come he dares to invite you after what he did to you!”

Honestly, Seokjin doesn’t know why. If only Seokjin can provide the answer, but instead he is shaking his head with a weak smile. “I don’t know,”

“What the f — “

“Kim Namjoon!” Seokjin taps Namjoon’s hand on the table, stopping him from cursing. “Don’t get your mouth dirty just because of him, Joon.” He chuckles. “It’s okay,”

“It’s okay not to be okay, hyung.”

“Joon, he has a right to invite anyone he wants.” Seokjin tries to calm Namjoon more, while giggling at it because it turns out Namjoon is the one who is more furious than Seokjin. It’s a little bit confusing but it’s also fun to have people like Namjoon on his side.

“But you are not just anyone, hyung!”

“You can say I’m an angel and just go, Joon.”

Namjoon groans while Seokjin lets out another giggling like they are just in the middle of light conversation. “I hate him for hurting you like this.”

Seokjin shakes his head. “Don’t be, Joon. Hate will only eat you inside.”

“It is supposed to be eating him inside.”

Seokjin smiles, playing with the tip of his chopstick, touching his own lunch without looking like he will really eat it. Even though it’s better for him after sharing the news with Namjoon who also takes a part to get angry in his place, like a sweet dad.

“Hyung, let’s come to the party. It can be for two people, right?”

“Huh?” Seokjin quickly lifts his head to see how serious Namjoon is. The man even has his serious working face, like that one time when they had this annoying client and he has to stay professional even though his blood is boiling inside. “Joon,”

“Let’s show him that you are better without him. It’s his loss, a big — big loss.”

“Joon, are you sure?”

Namjoon nods. “I don’t know why he sent you the invitation, hyung but I’m pretty sure he wants to see how you are doing after breaking up with him.” He hisses. “That's the son of a witch. He doesn’t know what he has lost after all.”

“Joon, we don’t have to do that.”

“But — yeah, we don’t have to do that if you don’t want to, hyung.” Namjoon quickly shifts his expression after seeing Seokjin’s weak smile. No matter how angry he is, Namjoon thinks he can’t imagine how hard it is hitting Seokjin.

“It’s not like that I want to show him,” Seokjin licks his lips. “It’s more like — I already forgive him and I don’t think he has that important spot again in my life and I would rather not waste my precious time again for him.”

“Hyung,” Namjoon pouts before folding his lips.

“You,” Seokjin puts down his chopstick and wears a soft smile while looking at Namjoon. “You are always there for me, Joon. When I broke up with him and now, it’s funny.”

“Well, the events are not funny though.”

Seokjin nods, admitting. “But I’m so grateful that I always have you by my side, Joon. Thank you, Joon.” Seokjin adds. “Wish I’m saying thank you a lot enough for all of your kindness.”

Namjoon shakes his head. “You are my friend, of course I will treat you the way you deserve.”

“You are such a good friend, Joon.”

Namjoon smiles for a moment before looking at Seokjin with a worried face. “Are you okay, hyung? Please tell me if you aren’t.”

“I’m okay, I’m as cool as a big refrigerator. Super cool.”

“Your jokes.”

Seokjin laughs and it looks like succeeding at putting Namjoon at ease. The man is going back to his calm self and starting to finish his lunch before they have to head back to the office. Namjoon pushes Seokjin’s plate. “Eat, hyung. You need a lot of energy to keep staying calm. I understand if you don’t want to look that actually you're not okay in front of me.”

“I don’t — “

Namjoon shoves the meat to Seokjin’s open mouth, stopping him to deny further about the situation and grins widely. “Eat a lot, hyung.”

Seokjin is okay. Well, it’s not a complete lie nor a complete truth, because he is already calm about it but also still has a little — just a little bit of uncomfortable emotion left on his heart. It is about his ex-boyfriend anyway, it sounds almost impossible for Seokjin to be totally calm.

Should he just throw the invitation? Seokjin keeps thinking about it even in the middle of an exhausting long meeting, leaving him alone with Namjoon who comes home first already.

The invitation is there, on their desk.

Now, beside a bouquet of lavender. Seokjin knows it’s a lavender from the smell and he also knows who the sender is from the card attached.

“I told you, you need a lot more energy to stay calm, hyung. Also, please don’t hesitate to throw away the invitation, it doesn’t deserve to be on your pretty desk for a long time.”

Seokjin laughs while reading the card, and he picks out his phone from his pocket.

“Joon, don’t you think you’re the one who needs lavender now?” Seokjin messages Namjoon, laughing again at the memories of how Namjoon is the one who worked harder than him about the invitation. He should be the one who needs to stay calm.

“Don’t worry. I’ve already got one for myself, hyung.”

“Good.”

Seokjin doesn’t think about it again and throws the invitation right away, before hugging the bouquet happily and heading home.

4th June,

Acceptance is more than easy when it’s only come in the form of words when doing it is far different than theory.

Yes, that’s what Seokjin feels now. He is curling on his bed, under his blanket and refusing to see the world for today, even though it's the weekend and it’s usually his time to watch anime all day long with a tube of ice cream or a big pack of grapes, but today Seokjin just hoping that the day will pass with him burying himself under the cover. He doesn’t even open the curtains and let his room drown in the darkness.

No matter even when his stomach growling so hard, his neighbor may hear it, Seokjin doesn’t move. He lets it growl harder and grunts into the pillow. It must be past lunch time, but Seokjin still doesn’t have a will to wake up.

Until his phone is ringing on his bedside table.

Seokjin reaches the phone to see who dares to call him on the weekend — on the first weekend after his damn ex-boyfriend getting married and his group of friends sharing the picture against his will, thinking that Seokjin is completely moved on. Well, he is, but they don't have to do that. They can keep the picture for themselves because it annoys Seokjin more after seeing how happy his ex-boyfriend is. Damn annoying.

It’s Namjoon, his name is blinking on the screen and Seokjin finds he feels relieved that it is him among all of the people in his contact.

“Hyung!” Namjoon calls out before Seokjin can say hello. “Are you alive?”

“I don’t know.” Seokjin murmurs lazily. “Well, hello to you too, Joon.”

Namjoon laughs. “Hyung, let’s eat something spicy.”

“Huh?”

“Spicy food is good for stress.”

“Which research are we talking about?”

“Kim Namjoon’s research.” Namjoon laughs again and it rings on Seokjin’s ears deliciously. Namjoon actually has a good sound of laughter and in visuals there’s a sweet deep dimple on both sides of his cheeks, making Seokjin follow the laugh.

“Fyi, I’m not stressed.”

“I don’t say anything about you, hyung. I’m just saying that spicy food is good for stress.”

Seokjin rolls his eyes but he feels warm from Namjoon’s voice. “But I don’t feel like going out, Joon. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Namjoon replies. “I’m already in front of your door, hyung. Just open it.”

“Huh?” Seokjin surprisingly gets up. “You’re here?”

“Yeah, now open the door, hyung. The tteokpokki tastes best when it’s still hot.”

Seokjin stands up and walks slowly towards the front door, because it seems like he’s been living in a cage for a long time, so the bright sunlight makes him dizzy. “Why didn’t you call me first, Joon? What if I’m not home?” He presses the buttons to open the door.

“I know you’re home, hyung.”

Seokjin can hear Namjoon smile at his words and he can’t resist but to smile too. “How?”

“Because you are not spamming me with the anime you watch or this and that new eating place in town we haven’t tried. So, I guess you are still on your bed doing nothing and I’m afraid you will be glued to your bed if I’m not coming quickly.”

Seokjin unconsciously pouts when he hears everything Namjoon said while the man is entering his house, so he can now see how big Namjoon’s grin is. Annoying. Cute, but annoying because why does he have to know Seokjin like he knows himself?

Smart and good looking people are annoying.

“Good morning, hyung.” Namjoon greets, lifting one plastic bag in his one hand, while the others are showing a bouquet of flowers.

“Don’t mock me, Kim Namjoon.” Seokjin smacks his lips. “And what’s with the flower?”

Namjoon steps inside and he asks Seokjin. “Do you have a vase or something?”

“I thought we will only eat tteokpokki.” Seokjin moves to his kitchen to get something he can use to put the flower and fill it with cold water, so the flower will live longer. Seokjin now knows that much since he keeps accepting flowers.

“Flowers are also good for stress.”

“Another Kim Namjoon’s research?” Seokjin giggles and accepts the flowers Namjoon hands. “What flower is it?”

“Anemones.”

“Beautiful.” Seokjin puts the flower inside the vase and smiles at the sight.

“Yes, anemone can also protect us from bad spirits.” Namjoon explains, while unpacking everything he brought. “We need that, you — you need that.”

“What bad spirit?” Seokjin is surprised at the explanation, but he can’t help himself but smiling, because what is it with Namjoon to talk about spirit suddenly?

“Your ex-boyfriend, I don’t even want to spell out his name.” Namjoon groans.

“Joon,”

Namjoon shakes his head when he already knows where Seokjin's tone will bring him to. "He is such a bad — bad evil, hyung. That's why I bring you this super spicy delicious tteokpokki and anemones."

"Listen, Joon."

Namjoon turns around and it surprises Seokjin to see how Namjoon’s face becomes a sad face. Never Seokjin thought that besides Namjoon getting angry for him, the man was also getting sadder for him. “Oh, Joon. I’m so sorry.”

“No, hyung.” Namjoon shakes his head and Seokjin can see that Namjoon is also trying to shake his sadness. “You aren't supposed to be sorry. I’m sorry, I just —”

“Joon,” Seokjin scoots closer to reach Namjoon’s arm and gives it a light squeeze before rubbing on it. “I’m sorry, but please, I don’t like to see you sad, Joon. I’m the one who should feel sad, don’t you think?” Seokjin teases without a real bite.

“I know, I’m sorry, hyung.”

“Thank you, Joon.”

Namjoon stares at Seokjin, not completely out of his sad face but he looks at least calmer than before. “For what? I don’t do anything.”

“If you are doing nothing then why are you here, Joon?” Seokjin smiles, trying to reassure Namjoon. “I just feel sad, Joon.”

“I know, hyung.”

“Do you think,” Seokjin clears his throat, he almost choked in his own words. “Do you think I also deserve that kind of happiness?” Seokjin asks, almost quietly but Namjoon can clearly hear everything in their distance.

“Hyung!”

“Joon, they — they look so happy, so fucking happy.” Seokjin starts to stutter. “And I can’t help myself to think if I later, if I — deserve that kind of love.”

“Hyung, come on.” Namjoon pulls Seokjin closer so he can give the shaky man a very tight hug. “Stop. Don’t hurt yourself again, no. No. Listen, hyung.”

“Joon,” Seokjin lets out a relieved sigh when he leans on Namjoon’s embrace.

“You, you deserve all the happiness in the world, Kim Seokjin.” Namjoon spells out his words, word by word to make sure that Seokjin will totally hear everything without any skip. “You, someday all of the people will get jealous to see how glowing you are, to see you bathe in more happiness like they have today.”

Seokjin takes a moment to be quiet, to hear everything Namjoon said, but he refuses to shed a tear. He wants to, but it will be better if Namjoon’s precious words are the reason for him to finally be able to smile after a long — long day.

Namjoon can sense how the tense is slowly disappearing and Seokjin’s shoulder is not as stiff as earlier, so Namjoon rubbing Seokjin’s back up and down before detaching it a little bit so he can see Seokjin’s face and offering a gentle smile.

“You know what else could kick out of the bad spirit?”

Seokjin gasps, but he eventually laughs. “You talk like my house is some haunted house, Joon, but okay, what else? Candle? Or — “

“Your spicy ramyeon, with eggs.” Namjoon grins.

“Kim Namjoon!”

“What? Your ramyeon is the best, hyung.”

Seokjin smacks his lips playfully between the smiles. “Okay, lucky you are cute, Joon.”

4th July,

It’s raining outside and Seokjin pouts, like he can stop the rain with his cute act.

“Why, hyung?”

“It’s raining, Joon. All of the time and they choose to pour at this time. Why — ” Seokjin keeps his pout while answering Namjoon and pointing outside the window like Namjoon can’t see how hard the rain is.

“So?” Namjoon hands Seokjin a cup of warm tea, frowning as if he can’t find how rain can be a problem. It's water.

“I guess we have to cancel our plan.” Seokjin pouts harder before sipping his warm tea and it immediately sends the comfort inside his stomach. “I’ve been waiting for a long time for our trip, Joon.” Seokjin whines.

“You called us, going for a bike ride around Han river as a trip, hyung?” Namjoon chuckles, sipping his own tea. “It’s just around here.”

“You don’t need to go to Budapest to be able to call it a trip, Joon. You can just go to the bathroom and still call it a trip.” Seokjin disagreed, crossing his arms. “It’s all about mindset.”

Namjoon turns to see Seokjin, squinting his eyes. “Yeah, it’s about mindset, hyung.”

“Huh?”

“We can still go for a bike, don’t you think?”

“It’s raining, Joon.” Seokjin insists, pointing again to the window. The rain seems to be pouring harder. “Are you — “ Seokjin squints his eyes and slowly scoots closer when he feels like he can read what’s on Namjoon’s mind. “Are you suggesting that we play in the rain?”

“You said it’s all about mindset, hyung.”

“Joon,” Seokjin huffs in disbelief. “We are adults.”

“So? Are adults forbidden from playing in the rain?” Namjoon retorts.

“We — “ Seokjin wants to talk back again when suddenly he stops himself and folds his lips, thinking for a moment before sighing. “What if we are getting sick?”

“One rain won’t make you sick, hyung.” Namjoon shakes his head. “And if, if you are getting sick from it, I will take full responsibility.” He adds, raising two of his fingers and forming a V letter with it and gives Seokjin an unnecessary serious face, like he also will take care of Seokjin for the rest of his life and that makes Seokjin laugh.

“And meat? I eat a lot of protein when I’m sick, you know.”

“Tofu is also protein, hyung.”

“Don’t act cheap on me, Kim Namjoon.”

Namjoon laughs heartily while Seokjin goes back to pout. “Don’t act cute on me, hyung.” He finishes the tea and throws the cup into the trash bin. “Or I will get you everything you want.”

“Does super expensive hanwoo beef count?”

“Even the moon counted.” Namjoon smiles and Seokjin slaps his arm playfully.

“Don’t act nice on me or I’ll take the offer, Joon.” Seokjin laughs. “Moon will be nice for room decoration, won't it?”

Namjoon nods. “Will be nicer with you in it.”

Seokjin smacks his lips. “So, when will we go?”

Seokjin can’t believe the question is coming directly from his mouth because as long as he can remember he doesn’t like to be soaked in wet, but tonight he finds himself get drenched after he lets Namjoon drag him running in the rain.

Seokjin can’t believe it, he lets himself bathe outside and comes into the house with water dripping from his clothes, pooling on the floor in his living room, and he is laughing. Seokjin can’t believe it because his usual self will immediately curse and have a big — big bad mood, but instead, he is laughing like it’s the peak of the comedy.

“Kim Namjoon.” Seokjin murmurs between his laughter, while seeing one of his hands holding a flower, Marigold.

“You should protect the flower until you get home, hyung. It’s Marigold, it’s a joy.” Namjoon told him as he handed the flower to Seokjin when they were starting their trip.

“Oh? What if I couldn’t?”

“We will have to go through the rain again tomorrow.”

“You’re not serious, Joon.”

“I’m more than serious, hyung.”

Seokjin rolls his eyes but obediently puts the flower inside his suit, even though he isn't sure if it can make a change or not. “God, I can’t believe you made me do this.”

“But, are you having fun, hyung?”

“It’s not like we can do it everyday.” Seokjin shakes his head, before eventually ruffling Namjoon’s wet hair. “But I’m having fun, Joon. Thank you.”

Seokjin sees the marigold once again before smiling at it. “Yeah, it’s fun.”

Namjoon always makes everything in his life fun, more fun.

4th August,

“I’m gonna melt, Joon!” Seokjin screams, laying on his desk exhaustedly like he just built a bridge outside, under the hot weather that he is sure he can cook eggs outside easily. “Joon!”

Namjoon turns around without saying anything, getting used to how Seokjin likes to be dramatic like it’s the end of the world. “Hyung, do you want me to buy you an ice cream?”

“I need more than ice cream!” Seokjin grunts.

“Hyung,” Namjoon calls him gently, while pointing out the air conditioner above their head which actually — works properly. “Or should I turn off the air conditioner? I mean — it’s useless if you can’t feel the cold,”

“Don’t tease me, Kim Namjoon. I’m dying here.”

Namjoon laughs, ignoring how Seokjin throws the death glares at him. “Hyung, God, have you ever thought of being an actor? You really have talent and a handsome look.” Namjoon waves his hand in front of his face. “You can be an actor and I’ll be your manager.”

“Don’t drag me with you just because you don’t like this job, Joon.”

“Do you like this job?”

Seokjin gasps when Namjoon asks him back instead of giving him the answer. “At least it pays my bill pretty well, so yeah, at least I don’t hate it.”

“Preach.” Namjoon clicks his fingers in agreement.

Seokjin smiles, forgetting the heat that wraps his head. “And I have you, Joon. So, I think this job is less boring than I thought it would.”

Namjoon stares at Seokjin, the way Seokjin feels Namjoon trying to read his mind, bore him right at his skull. Seokjin’s heart skips a beat.

What is happening?

“Hyung,”

“Oh?”

“If you want me to buy you an ice cream, you can just ask, you know, hyung.”

“I’m trying to be nice here, Joon.” Seokjin rolls his eyes, suddenly can’t make any longer eye contact with Namjoon, because no one knows even Seokjin, how his heart is beating a little bit too fast than usual, maybe it’s the heat so his brain can't function properly.

“You are nice, hyung.” Namjoon laughs, getting up from his chair. “And I’ll buy you an ice cream, what flavor — “

“Strawberry.”

“Strawberry.”

Seokjin lets out a long sigh while Namjoon laughs again in victory hearing they are talking in unison. “Yeah, I knew it.”

“So, what’s the point of asking?” Seokjin shakes his head, glued to his desk, since the heat is taking all of his energy. “Can you also tell the sun to get low a little bit? I start to think either I need a bigger SPF or bigger energy so my brain won't melt.”

“So dramatic.”

“Kim Namjoon!”

Namjoon laughs again, tapping Seokjin’s back lightly before walking away after shouting playfully. “I’ll see what I can do, hyung!”

Seokjin presses his forehead to his desk, opens one of his shirt buttons to let the wind from the air conditioner come more. It’s a tough summer and it’s like laying on his bed with the full force of his own air conditioner naked will be a better choice, or maybe going to the beach drinking ice cold coconut water suddenly sounds like heaven, even though Seokjin chose the other version of colder heaven.

No need for a long time until Namjoon comes back and playfully presses the plastic bag he brings to Seokjin’s nape, making Seokjin scream. “Fuck! What the — “

“Kim Namjoon!” Seokjin screams again when he sees Namjoon grins at him.

“Your ice cream, hyung.” Namjoon lifts the plastic bag.

“I know, just — “

“And your flower.”

Seokjin blinks rapidly, surprised at what Namjoon had on his other hands, a bouquet of sunflowers. “What — I don’t think I ask you to,”

“Yeah, turns out I can’t make the sun go low. I’m sorry, hyung.” Namjoon giggles, cutting Seokjin off before he can even finish his sentence, while Seokjin also obediently accepts the flower even though he is still surprised at it. Maybe it is, the heat destroys himself completely.

“So, I bought you these sunflowers.”

“Huh?”

“Sunflower, the summer flower.” Namjoon explains, also handing Seokjin’s ice cream to the man after opening it. “Let’s just celebrate this summer, hyung.”

“What can we celebrate this summer, Joon? The heat that feels like the sun is right above your head and you can get burnt anytime?”

Well, the sunflowers are beautiful though.

Namjoon opens his own ice cream, chuckling. “Anything. We can celebrate — “ Namjoon folds his lips, like he has to think of any great reason to celebrate summer time so Seokjin will be convinced. “The endless reason to eat ice cream?”

“That’s what you called a celebration, Joon?” Seokjin deadpans.

“We don’t need a grand thing to call it a celebration, hyung.”

Seokjin huffs. “I think I heard those words somewhere.”

“It’s all about mindset, hyung.”

“I hate you, Kim Namjoon.” Seokjin licks his ice cream and gently moans. How a simple strawberry ice cream can taste like heaven in the hell of weather like this.

“Let’s have a fun summer, hyung.”

4th September,

It’s September, which means it's Namjoon's birthday.

“What do you want for your birthday, Joon?”

“Huh?” Namjoon lifts up from the book he read and fixes his reading glasses with his forefinger.

Seokjin unconsciously holds his breath even though he doesn’t know exactly why, maybe it’s because Namjoon is rarely wearing glasses unless it involves a long meeting or when they decide to do a casual reading in the park on the weekend like now, well, one of them is reading while the other is eating a snack and sometimes annoys the other who reads, so when Namjoon wears his glasses he looks handsome, so handsome.

“Are you planning to give me a gift, hyung?”

Seokjin snorts. “Don’t talk like I never give you a gift. I always give you a gift every year.”

Namjoon laughs and he fixes his fine glasses again. Is that necessary? Does he know if he looks hot while doing that?

UGH.

Oh.

Oh.

Kim Seokjin.

“So, what do you want, Joon?” Seokjin asks again, opening his third bag of potato chips that most of them are going alone into his stomach because Namjoon is really immersed into his reading and he doesn’t bother to offer the man.

“You’ll get anything for me, hyung?”

“Please don’t ask something weird.”

“Like what?”

Seokjin chews his chips, staring at Namjoon, trying to explain with what he meant earlier by being weird, but all he can see is just how Namjoon looks so good with his glasses. Oh God.

Seokjin clears his throat. “Like a dictionary or your super thick english books, because just thinking about it makes me dizzy already.”

“They are good.”

“Yeah, for you — not for me, smart man.”

Namjoon steals the chip bag and finally starts to join in to eat it. “Well, we just have a different way to have fun, hyung.”

“What did I get for you last year?”

“These dudes.” Namjoon wiggles his feet and points at his socks happily, because it’s not just socks, it is socks with koala print on it. It’s cute, super cute. “You are never running out of ideas to give me a gift. Who else will think of giving me these cute socks?”

“Oh yeah,” Seokjin nods proudly. “It will look better if you can show it in the middle of the meeting.” Seokjin lays down on his stomach, crawling closer to touch Namjoon’s feet. “You know, maybe when you have a meeting with Mr. Choi, the one who always has a sour face.”

Namjoon laughs. “He’s fine.”

“Guess he’s just lacking vitamin D and smiling.”

“If he has you as a friend, I’m sure he will smile more, hyung.”

Seokjin follows the laugh and now lies on his back, seeing the sky. “So, what should I get for you this year, Joon? Oh, maybe I should get you a koala tie this time. How about that? I’m sure that will look good on you, Joon.”

“I’ll wear everything you gave me, hyung.” Namjoon nods. “But I will ask for something different this year.”

“Tell hyung.”

“You.”

“Huh?”

Seokjin turns his face and he almost can’t blink. “What — “

“I want you for my birthday.”

Seokjin gasps when Namjoon thinks his explanation will help the situation better and Namjoon does the same. They exchange a deep silence stare for a moment and Seokjin, no matter how hard he tries to see if Namjoon is serious with what he just said or it’s just another episode of the younger teasing the older, but all he got is Namjoon who is eventually smiles, like nothing happened.

“What, hyung?”

“Joon,” Seokjin feels like his throat is suddenly getting dry. “You can’t sell my kidney, or liver.”

“Huh?”

“I drink pretty much, so I’m not sure my organs are clean for you to sell. Is that why you asked me for your birthday gift?”

“Oh?” Namjoon blinks rapidly, still with his confused face staring back at Seokjin.

“You can ask for another gift, Joon. Please.”

Namjoon sighs, but his smile comes back. “You just make romance turn into a thriller in a second, hyung.” He shakes his head. “You don’t have to get me anything, hyung.” Namjoon reaches for his big backpack, the bag that Seokjin doesn’t understand why he has to bring that big bag when most all of their needs are on the picnic basket Seokjin carries on.

“Why — “

Seokjin stops talking when he finds out that the bag has a function, so Namjoon can hide the flower bouquet. Clematis.

“For you, hyung.”

“What — “ Seokjin confusedly accepts the flower. It’s a beautiful purple flower. “I think we are just talking about your birthday gift.”

“Yes, we did.” Namjoon nods.

“Then, why — “

“It’s my birth flower, hyung. Clematis. It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

Seokjin nods in agreement, because it is. “Ah, I should be the one who gives you flowers and it’s your birth flower.” Seokjin pouts. “I’m sorry, Joon.”

Namjoon shakes his head. “And you know what clematis means hyung?”

“What?”

“Intelligence.”

Seokjin squinted at his eyes helplessly when Namjoon said it with a knowing smirk. “Oh, I’ll never know if you are lying about that.”

“You can always google it.” Namjoon shrugs. “Also, it symbolizes strength. So, be strong, hyung.” Namjoon giggles.

“Why?”

“Because I’ll have a long business trip next month. Be strong, because you won’t find someone as fun as I am to take you to a great lunch or laugh at your jokes.”

“Did you just say that I have a lame joke, Kim Namjoon?”

Namjoon laughed heartily. “No, no, hyung. Everything about you is perfect. All I’m saying is, don’t miss me too much when I’m gone.”

Seokjin rolls his eyes. “I won’t.”

Namjoon laughs once again until he really receives a tie with a big koala print on it and the additional koala pins and stickers for his birthday and the card attached on it.

“Koala is as cute as me, so let’s say you got me, Joon. I’ll always have your back as long as you’re not going to sell my beautiful eyes. Happy birthday, Joon.”

Namjoon replies to the card with a message on Seokjin’s phone.

“You really made thriller sounds so romantic. Thank you, hyung. Love you.”

“Love you too, Joon.”

4th October,

“Oh, finally! God, fucking finally!”

Seokjin doesn’t care if anyone now is looking at him like he’s losing his mind in the middle of the convenience store. All he cares about is finally his favorite popcorn brand launch the most awaited flavor, his awaited flavor because Seokjin doesn’t know about anyone else, but what takes that company so long to finally give him butter popcorn flavor? Like come on, it’s just butter, the super basic flavor of popcorn. Why does it have to take this so much time?

Anyway, “Okay, yeah! Finally!”

So, Seokjin grabs the popcorn with both of his hands like he needs so many packs of it to get ready to have a long winter hibernation in the cave.

Seokjin skips on the way back to his desk happily and like what he usually does, he screams out his favorite person’s name to show off what happened to him today. “Joon!”

Silence.

“Oh,” Seokjin just realizes that he has talked to no one, that Namjoon's desk is empty because, yes — the owner is going on a business trip and Seokjin is left alone.

Well, not literally alone, because two of them are not the only employees in the building, but Seokjin stands in his place while still holding on to his popcorn bags and staring at the empty desk. Who else with Seokjin will share all these random things he found when Namjoon isn’t there? There’s another friend he has, but who else with again if it isn’t Namjoon?

Seokjin shared everything with Namjoon, no matter how unnecessary things were, like random alpaca stickers on their takeaway packages.

Now Namjoon is not here, why does it feel empty?

It’s not like Namjoon won’t come back or he’s been emigrated to Mars or somewhere else far away. It’s just a business trip to Jeju island, it’s only an hour by flight from Seoul and Namjoon has promised him to bring him a lot of tangerines and will stop his roommate Yoongi from eating all of it before it reaches his hands.

Seokjin shouldn’t feel sad. He can meet again with Namjoon in a few days and he can go back to share the news about his silly popcorn, but why — why does it feel sad?

Seokjin keeps staring at the empty desk, like Namjoon can suddenly pop out.

Oh, it feels emptier than Seokjin thought it would be.

“Seokjin hyung.”

Seokjin quickly turns to see who is calling him and he sees Jimin is smiling at him while showing him a flower bouquet, a beautiful white rose bouquet.

“Jimin,”

Jimin is their receptionist and he looks good today with his blonde hair slick back.

“What — “

“For you.”

“Huh?” Seokjin blinks before hesitantly accepting the flowers. “You give me a flower?”

Jimin laughs. “No, hyung. I mean if I know you like flowers, I could buy you one someday, but for today it’s not from me.” He smiles. “It’s from Namjoon hyung.”

“Namjoon?”

“Yes.” Jimin nodded happily and his smile changed into a teaseful one. “Did I miss something here that Namjoon hyung sent you these beautiful flowers, hyung?”

Seokjin isn't stupid, he knows what Jimin meant and he quickly pinches Jimin’s cheeks. “You didn’t miss anything, Jimin.” Seokjin shakes his head. “Stop thinking weird about it, Jimin. It’s just flowers.”

“It’s not just flowers.”

“Namjoon is my best friend, Jimin.”

“So? It’s a good package to have a best friend as your boyfriend.” Jimin insists and Seokjin pinches his cheek once again.

“Have you ever thought of changing your career as a writer, maybe?”

Jimin hisses while rubbing his cheeks. He is also cutely pouting and throws his last question before leaving the room. “So, tell me, hyung.” Jimin clears his throat. “Why Namjoon gives you those beautiful flowers?”

“Huh?”

Seokjin can only blink without being able to answer that.

Why?

Seokjin never thought about it, not even for once, for every flower he got. Seokjin doesn’t want to think about it that much, so all he does is just pick his phone to call Namjoon. Despite the little chaos that Jimin brings to the room, Seokjin still needs to thank Namjoon for the flowers. He isn’t an ungrateful man.

“Hyung,”

Seokjin bites his lips and he wants to scream at Jimin for planting the thought inside his head. “You even send me flowers from your business trips?”

“Well, Fall is still happening even though I'm not there and I need you to stay warm, hyung.”

Seokjin can hear Namjoon’s smile in his words and how those smart lips giving him such an answer makes Seokjin blushed.

God, he is flustered. Oh, God.

“Hyung, hello?”

Seokjin coughs hard, not giving Namjoon a second chance to catch him flustered. No one should know how red his face is now. “White roses won’t make me warm, Joon.”

Even spelling out Namjoon’s name feels different now on the tip of his tongue.

“You put it on your desk and make yourself hot chocolate, hyung. That’s how.”

Seokjin snorts, but he can’t help himself smiling. “You make hot chocolate better than me.”

Namjoon was silent for a moment before eventually answering. “I’ll make you one when I’m home, hyung.” Namjoon smiles again and Seokjin’s heart is beating fast.

“And don’t forget to bring me those tangerines.”

“As you wish, hyung.”

“Thank you for the flowers, Joon.” Seokjin continues genuinely. “It’s beautiful.”

Seokjin isn’t sure if Namjoon keeps smiling during their call and it will be better for Seokjin to see the smile in person. He likes Namjoon’s smile, he likes the sound of his laughter.

It’s better for him to have Namjoon here in person.

He misses Namjoon.

“You’re welcome, hyung.” Namjoon murmurs with a low voice, and that sends shivers all over Seokjin’s spine. “Do you know white roses means?”

“I miss you.”

“Oh,”

Seokjin quickly covers his mouth with one of his hands when he unconsciously slips out those three words. “I mean — “

“How did you know, hyung?” Namjoon laughs and Seokjin holds his breath from how delicious Namjoon’s laughter is. “Are you learning about flowers now?”

“Huh?”

“Yes, white roses mean I miss you.” Namjoon smiles again and Seokjin can hear how pure it is and he can imagine how Namjoon looks on it. “I miss you, hyung.”

Seokjin gasps and his heart is now beating like a happy puppy.

The feeling is mutual.

“There’s no one here who has good jokes like yours.”

“Oh God,” Seokjin rolls his eyes. “I can’t imagine how much you miss me, Joon.”

“I miss you so much, hyung. I hope I can bring you here in my pocket.”

“I’m not tiny.”

“You are.”

Seokjin huffs and Namjoon laughs. “How are you today, hyung?”

“Oh!” Seokjin replies right away cheerfully, like he has been waiting for this chance “Do you know that our favorite popcorn finally has a butter flavor, Joon?”

“Really? God, finally! Don’t know how it can take so long for them to make it.”

“I know right!” Seokjin feels supported and he shouts in agreement. “I mean it’s butter, come on! Didn’t all of us make popcorn with butter at first?”

Namjoon laughs again. “Yeah, hyung. They should let you work there and how does it taste?”

“I’m not tasting it yet,”

“Let’s eat it together when I’m home, hyung. I’ll let you choose the movie.”

“It’s movie night?” Seokjin’s face glows in surprise. The idea itself already makes him beam.

That’s a fun routine, moreover when Seokjin wins the rock-paper-scissors and chooses the movie for them, he will be so glad to make Namjoon watch a lot of anime.

“Yes,”

“You’ll let me choose the movie, okay?”

“You sound a little bit too excited, I’m scared.” Namjoon laughs. “Should I be scared?”

Seokjin folds his lips, suppressing his laugh. “Come home fast, Joon or I’ll eat all of the popcorn and choose the most disturbing anime you don’t like.”

Even though that sounds like a full threat without real bites, Namjoon seems like he doesn’t mind it. He knows Seokjin. “Surely do, hyung. I miss you.”

“I miss you too, Joon.”

And that’s the truth.

4th November,

It’s been a long day for Seokjin even before his day has started. He wakes up nervously and it continues until he is staring at his computer screen without doing anything and just letting it go blank and starts to show a lot of jumping apples as a screensaver.

“So, how about we — hyung!”

“Oh? Huh? What? What,”

Namjoon tilts his head and frowns when Seokjin looks as surprised as Namjoon is a daylight ghost. “Joon, what? I’m sorry, what are you saying again?”

“Hyung, are you okay?” Namjoon scoots closer and places his hand on Seokjin’s forehead to check on him. “Are you sick? But I guess you are okay,” Namjoon touches his own forehead and feels both of them are at a good temperature.

“Oh, what — “ Seokjin stutters when Namjoon’s cold hand is on his face. “No, I’m, I’m okay. What, Joon? I’m okay.”

Seokjin knows how he is easily red when he is nervous and it's a disaster because he acknowledges it, he doesn’t know how to stop it, and the worst is Namjoon somehow knows him better than Seokjin himself.

“Then why,” Namjoon looks like he wants to say something but he forces himself not to.

“I’m okay,” Seokjin doesn’t know why he feels like he will be succeeded in lying if he continues to try, even though the answer is pretty obvious and maybe that’s why Namjoon stops himself, maybe he already knew.

“Okay,”

“It’s just — I feel a little bit tired.”

“What happened?”

“Oh?”

Seokjin hates that he spends all month long thinking about what Jimin said to him about Namjoon and the flowers. He hates that he let their beautiful receptionist plant the idea on his head and makes him think about it right when Namjoon went on his business trip until the man comes back.

Damn Park Jimin. He needs someone to blame all of this awkward situation.

Now, Seokjin can’t even look at Namjoon in the eyes and how he realizes that he has a different speed of heartbeat when he is with Namjoon and Seokjin is pretty sure it isn’t coming from the yogurt that Namjoon gave to him in the morning as usual, because he has no problem with the yogurt or Namjoon this whole time, until today.

“No, I’ve got to go.” Seokjin suddenly stands up, completely ignoring how Namjoon is still looking at him worried like Seokjin can faint anytime if he blinks even for a second.

“Hyung, where are you going?” Namjoon follows and tries to reach Seokjin before he leaves the room. “Seokjin hyung,”

“The boss is calling me, Joon. I’ll go and meet him.” Seokjin raises his phone, even though there’s no call or a message coming. Namjoon knows it since he stays at Seokjin’s side and nothing happened. “Talk to you later, Joon!”

Namjoon stops moving and just stands in his place with a simple nod. “Okay,”

What’s with the rush and Namjoon looks at their boss’s room where the man is sitting there peacefully, maybe talking with his fishes on the bowl like what he does every time he needs some time that he called by to recharge himself from all of the negative energy, and not wherever Seokjin is heading to.

What is happening?

What is happening is, Seokjin panics and he goes directly to the person who started it all.

“Park Jimin! You should take responsibility for what happened to me and Namjoon!” Seokjin immediately shouts at Jimin when he knows the man is back in the pantry making his coffee and no one is there to hear him. “I hate you.”

“Whoaa, hyung.” Jimin seems surprised to see Seokjin's sudden visitation but he still manages to smile and finish stirring his coffee. Who knows that Jimin is such a good multitasker and the way he smiles makes Seokjin realize that he may be shouting it too loud.

“Good morning? Oh, it’s near lunchtime.” Jimin looks at his watch. “What do I owe you for having you here, hyung?”

Seokjin fists both of his hands beside his body and he replies between his gritted teeth. Jimin should already know why he comes there. “I know you have a beautiful smile, Park Jimin, but for the first time since I met you, I’m sorry that I should tell you that I don’t really like your smug smile now. I hate it that I want to rip it from those cutely round cheeks of yours, Jimin.”

“You really have an interesting way to scold someone, hyung.” Jimin blinks in surprise before laughing at it. He then points to the chair in the middle of the room right across from his seat, and tells Seokjin to sit with him. “Come on, let’s have a sit, hyung.”

“What happened between you and Namjoon hyung that I should take the responsibility for?”

Seokjin bites his lower lips and God, the coffee smells good, maybe he should ask Jimin to make one for him before they start talking now Seokjin realizes that he is also using a stairs instead of the elevator to run here. It’s just one floor down but still, Seokjin doesn’t know that his breath is going to pant until he sits his ass down.

“Now I can’t see Namjoon in the eyes.”

“Huh?” Jimin pouts, but Seokjin knows that’s a teasing pout. “What a waste, that is one of his best features, hyung. Namjoon hyung has beautiful eyes.”

“I know, but that’s not the point.” Seokjin determines not to let Jimin distract him furthermore because of course yes, Namjoon has beautiful dragon eyes and Seokjin loves it, he just doesn’t have to admit it to anyone, moreover to Jimin.

“I can’t look him in the eyes since you were talking to me about the flowers, Jimin.” Seokjin continues, both of his hands clenching hard on the table. “I — I start to ask myself why Namjoon gave me all of those flowers you know, like you said to me. God, I hate you and I hate how my mind keeps making a scenario that I don’t know if I’m supposed to think about Namjoon like this or not, God, Jimin, what should I do?”

“What do you think it is, hyung? What do you think about why Namjoon hyung gave you all those flowers?” Jimin asks calmly, even though Seokjin doesn’t hide how nervous he is by rubbing his face. Jimin even pushes his untouched coffee at Seokjin. “You can drink it if you want, hyung. You look like you could use it.”

“How do you like your coffee?”

“Fresh milk, two sugar.”

“Okay,” Seokjin pouts and sips Jimin’s coffee — that is his coffee now, and after feeling the warm liquid sliding into his stomach, Seokjin takes a deep breath and picks up where he left the conversation. “I — I start to imagine that maybe Namjoon likes me.”

Jimin gets silent and Seokjin is getting more nervous, he feels his stomach twist inside, because Jimin doesn’t look surprised and he hates it. “Jimin,”

“Hyung, it’s just a flower. It could have so many meanings.”

“I know,” Seokjin takes a deep breath once again. “It’s just,”

“I think,” Jimin cuts in before Seokjin can release all of the words and maybe for the first time since he was born, he is grateful that someone cuts his thought, because he actually doesn’t know how to explain it to Jimin.

“I think the problem is not Namjoon hyung here,” Jimin talks slowly, as if Seokjin won’t get it if he talks faster. “It’s you, hyung.”

“Me?”

Jimin nods and he forms a gentle smile that makes Seokjin’s stomach twist nervously once again, because it feels like he knows where this conversation leads to. “Yeah, it’s you, hyung. I think you also like Namjoon hyung.”

“Oh?”

“You like Namjoon hyung, you are just too afraid to imagine it right.”

“Did I?”

“Tell me, hyung.”

Did he?

Seokjin gets silent while his brain is going into the middle of the war as soon as Jimin states something that he himself isn’t sure about yet.

“Think about it, hyung.” Jimin shifts closer and the man keeps smiling like it’s just how he always handles every guest that is coming to the company. “How does Namjoon hyung make you feel? And how do those flowers make you feel?”

What does Namjoon make him feel?

“If the answer is only both Namjoon hyung and all of those flowers make you feel happy, then I think you have nothing to have to think about anymore, hyung.” Jimin continues and Seokjin is still thinking about the war inside his head. “I’m sure for whatever means, Namjoon hyung is a nice man who thinks about your happiness above anything else.”

Seokjin still can’t figure it out and only can push his head harder to find the right answer.

Does he see Namjoon the way Jimin thinks he is?

Namjoon is his best friend. Namjoon is there everytime Seokjin needs him, someone who he shares all of his lame jokes with and still laughing at it no matter what, or someone who he can lean on when he needs a shoulder to cry on. Namjoon is always there, through every happiness and pain, through every weather, every month, every day.

“You know, Jimin. I hate you.”

“Oh?”

“I hate using my brain for things like this. I don’t even use it sometimes for more important things, but why?” Seokjin sighs. “You make me overuse my innocent brain.”

Jimin is about to say something when Taehyung, his partner, comes into the pantry with a single knock. “Hello, I’m sorry for interrupting you guys, but Seokjin hyung,” He sees Seokjin who looks surprised because Taehyung is coming for him.

“Yes?”

“Namjoon hyung is looking for you,” Taehyung informs. “But, he goes again. I think he just makes sure that you are here and not somewhere else dangerous.”

“Dangerous? Why do I have to be in a dangerous place?” Seokjin frowns at the information before looking at Jimin. “And why does he know I’m here? Are you telling him?”

Jimin quickly raises both of his hands. “I don’t even have my phone with me, hyung.” Jimin shrugs. “Maybe Namjoon hyung just relies on his gut on you.”

“He isn’t my father, why does he have to have a gut on me?”

“Do you happen to have some daddy kink —”

“Park Jimin!”

Taehyung then cuts the unnecessary debate before Jimin starts to talk further that no one wants to hear and Seokjin’s face getting redder than the steam crabs. “Uhm, I think he just saw you here or I don’t know, maybe he is just trying to ask me since I’m a front office.”

“Makes sense.” Jimin nods and Seokjin glares at him.

“And, uhm — he just asked me to tell you that you can’t forget your lunch and he already bought you a bento that you keep asking about since the weekend.”

“Oh, Namjoon hyung is the sweetest.”

“Shut up, Jimin.”

Taehyung giggles. “I guess Namjoon hyung is adding some unnecessary detail but yeah, that’s what he said and he also asked me to give you this, Seokjin hyung.”

Seokjin gasps loudly when Taehyung pulls out a flower bouquet from behind his back like some magician. Another flower bouquet.

“I don’t think you should overuse your brain since the beginning, hyung.”

Seokjin receives the bouquet from Taehyung who is also smiling along with Jimin and the words that are coming out from his mouth. There must be a reason everyone in the office calls them soulmates.

“Hyung, sometimes you just don’t have to think and just do it.”

The flowers smell so nice and it skips Seokjin’s heart a beat, inviting him once again to think whatever he and Jimin had talked about, which now Taehyung also joins the conversation and opposes what he just said, it just makes Seokjin think harder, his head hurts. He needs his lunch now or he will explode soon.

“Namjoon hyung will have lunch with his roommate, Yoongi hyung.”

“Okay,” Seokjin murmurs quietly. “Well, he actually doesn’t have to tell me that.”

“I like Yoongi hyung. Namjoon hyung once bring him here and you should see — “

“Thank you for the conversation, Park Jimin.”

Jimin laughs, and even though Seokjin just cut him before he can finish his sentence, Jimin bows like Seokjin really sends him the gratitude. “Anytime, hyung.”

When Seokjin thinks he succeeds at avoiding Namjoon, he must have forgotten that he can’t really avoid the man since they are working together with a side by side desk and of course, he won’t be able to avoid Namjoon forever.

“Hyung,”

Seokjin turns surprisingly. “Oh, Joon.” He smiles, hoping that Namjoon can’t see how he has to spend more strength to make the smile look natural. “Go home?”

Seokjin can’t believe himself that he is just questioning something obvious, because yes, it’s time for everyone to go home. Does Namjoon have to stay for overtime?

Namjoon nods. “Hyung, are you okay?”

“Huh? What?”

“You look so busy today, I barely see you here.”

“Ah,” Seokjin should expect that Namjoon will ask him about it, about why he works so hard not to spend more time with Namjoon like he always does. Of course, Namjoon will ask about it since they are usually glued to each other. “Yeah, many things to do.” He grins. “I’m okay, Joon. Thanks to the bento you bought me. Thank you, Joon.”

“You’re welcome, hyung. I ate mine with Yoongi hyung because you weren’t here.”

One thing that Seokjin doesn’t expect is Namjoon will talk to him after working hours with an obvious sadness on his face and that’s the last thing Seokjin wants to see from someone who always makes him laugh and never makes him sad.

“I’m sorry, Joon.” Seokjin bites his lower lips, either feeling nervous or he just wants to jump on to hug Namjoon tight and sweep off the sadness from his face.

“Are we okay, hyung?”

“Huh?”

“I’ll be relieved if you’re not just avoiding me, hyung. I feel like you are avoiding me.”

Seokjin gasps and he quickly shakes his head before Namjoon can catch that Seokjin needs a second to reply to him. “No, it’s just — “ Seokjin hates that he has to lie to Namjoon, but he needs some time to gather his thoughts and his feelings. “I’m sorry, Joon but I’m sure that we’re okay.” Seokjin smiles.

They are okay, just Seokjin’s feeling isn't, yet.

Does he really actually like Namjoon more than just a friend for this entire time? Is it before Namjoon showers him with those flowers or is it far away behind that, when Namjoon slowly fixes his broken heart?

“Really?”

“Yeah, of course.” There’s nothing wrong with them, with Namjoon, it’s just him, Kim Seokjin.

Namjoon smiles, satisfied with Seokjin’s answer. Well, Seokjin will think that satisfaction comes from Namjoon’s smile. “Do you — do you get the flowers, hyung? I ask Taehyung to give you since I don’t know exactly where you are and he is the front office, so I think it’s easier, he could see you there.”

“Oh, yes, I have it.” Seokjin smiles and points at the beautiful red flowers bouquet on his desk, ready to come home with him. “It’s beautiful, Joon.”

Seokjin feels his heart beat like crazy against his ribcage like it could jump out anytime if he lets it. “It’s a red carnation, isn’t it?”

“You knew it.” Namjoon smiles happily.

Seokjin just follows the smile weakly before Namjoon continues with one more thing that he doesn’t expect will happen after every mess he has to face. He just happens to know the flower, without Namjoon knowing that now, right at the moment when both of them are standing in front of each other, Seokjin is too scared to ask or hear what is the meaning of those flowers like Namjoon always did tell him.

“The flowers mean deep love.”

“Oh?”

Seokjin is just mentally hoping that he doesn't sound too obvious the fact that he is really surprised. Now Namjoon what — give him a flower with a love as a meaning?

What is happening?

“I love hanging out with you, hyung.” Namjoon speaks again. “And I’m sad that I can’t do that today.” He smiles and Seokjin has no idea how to react since his heart hasn’t gone back up to his ribcage again after sliding down to his knees when he hears the L words coming from the man who makes him ask about the word itself.

“I love you, hyung. Please don’t go far away from me again.”

Seokjin quietly fists both of his hands beside his body. It’s not the first time Namjoon says that he loves Seokjin and likewise, Seokjin already told him once or twice that he loves Namjoon, and it’s just — love.

What could be different this time?

“I love you and I feel lonely without you, hyung.”

Seokjin’s stomach stirred into something uncomfortable the more Namjoon, like he could throw up when Namjoon isn’t there, but maybe it’s just the way Seokjin has to finally accept his truth, the truth about his feelings.

He loves Namjoon.

He is falling in love since God knows when. He loves Namjoon more than a friend and when Namjoon tells him how he loves him, Seokjin finally says it back. “I love you too, Joon and I won’t — I won’t go far away from you again, I promise.”

“Promise is a strong word, but I’ll be happy if you keep those words, hyung.”

Seokjin is about to tell Namjoon that he means every word when Namjoon pulls him into his tight embrace, Seokjin can feel Namjoon’s warm breath on his neck and he suddenly loses every word he meant to say, moreover when Namjoon says.

“You are my favorite person, hyung. My best friend. I love you.”

Oh.

Seokjin feels the lump form on his throat, but he manages to talk back. “I love you too, Joon. You are also my favorite — best friend.” He whispers, struggling not to get shaky. “Thank you for the flowers, Joon. They are beautiful.”

Best friend. That’s the words.

Namjoon detaches the hug for a bit and gives Seokjin one sweet smile that Seokjin always likes but this time, it hurts. “You only deserve the beautiful flowers.”

“All flowers are beautiful, Joon.”

“Not as beautiful as you, hyung.”

Seokjin chuckles and slaps Namjoon’s arm lightly so they can completely let go of the hug and come home. “Let’s save your words for later, Joon. It’s too late already to ask me to buy you an ice cream. Also,” Seokjin stares at Namjoon who is waiting for him.

“Also I know that no one can come as pretty as me.” Seokjin flips his non-existence hair under his ear before laughing at his own words. “Let’s go home, Joon. I’m tired.”

“Okay,”

Seokjin also didn’t expect that Namjoon would take that as an invitation to then link their arms and once again laugh right in his ears. “Hyung, what should I prepare for your birthday next month? Do you have something in mind?”

Oh. Seokjin almost forgot that next month is his birthday.

Seokjin lets Namjoon drag him outside with their arms still linked. The only thing echoing inside his head is only best friend. Namjoon loves him as a best friend, why doesn’t he think about it since the first time?

He’s gonna totally blame Jimin and now, Taehyung for this.

“You can ask me anything, hyung.”

“Really?”

Namjoon nods eagerly. “Anything.”

How about having you, Joon?

“I’ll think about it first, Joon.”

4th December,

“Coffee?”

“Do you have a bigger glass or maybe a jar?”

Jimin frowns when Seokjin not only suddenly comes so early in the morning to him when he is just preparing his own coffee, but also this time, asking Jimin for coffee in a jar.

“You will drink coffee in a jar?” Jimin frowns, scanning Seokjin carefully if he can find the sign that Seokjin hasn’t fully awakened or he may have a serious sleeping walk problem.

“Or clean fish bowls if you have it. I’ll take it.”

Jimin frowns deeper. “Is it supposed to be a bitter mood that everyone should at least expect from someone who is actually having a birthday today?”

“Speak in Korean, Jimin.”

“You look like shit, hyung.”

Seokjin rubs his nose, doesn’t take any offense because he doesn’t give a fuck about anything now than having his morning coffee, a gallon of fresh coffee, or maybe a bigger chance to fly to Maldives or somewhere far away, maybe Mars. “Thank you, that’s why I need my morning coffee in extra size today.”

“What is happening?”

Seokjin takes a very loud deep breath, doesn’t bother himself to hide how frustrated he is now before taking a seat on an empty chair where the last time all of the messy things happened. “I can’t sleep.”

“Long night?” Jimin gives Seokjin his coffee, in a normal size mug because no one keeps a clean fish bowl in the office except maybe Seokjin’s boss.

“Not a good kind of long night.” Seokjin stops Jimin from giving him teaseful cocky eyebrows by pointing his finger. “I can’t sleep since today it’s my birthday.” Seokjin finally tells Jimin while also showing the man the bag that he hasn’t taken it off. “And I’m not going upstairs to work and to meet Namjoon yet, because I’m scared.”

“Huh? Scared? Why?”

“I told you, Jimin!” Seokjin impatiently yells.

“You didn’t tell me anything, hyung!” Jimin yells back after making himself a coffee and sitting across Seokjin. “Now, drink your coffee and talk to me like a human being.”

Seokjin pouts when Jimin suddenly sounds like his mother, but obediently sipping the coffee.

“Okay, first happy birthday, hyung. I’m sorry I didn’t prepare you any gift, but I’m sure my existence here to help you with your crisis is already a gift, right?”

“Sometimes your self esteem is annoying, do you know that, Jimin?” Seokjin rolls his eyes before eventually nodding. “But, the point has been made and yes, thank you, for the birthday and for being here. You are the best.”

Jimin’s smug smile will be apologized this time because Seokjin has no other choice.

“So, what are you being scared of, hyung?”

“It’s my birthday.” Seokjin repeats. “It’s 4th of December.”

“Now you are paying attention to the details.” Jimin crosses his hands over his chest and keeps the smug smile on his face. Again, annoying but forgiven for today. “I knew it.”

“You don't know about it already, Jimin.”

“Just admit it, I’m doing better than you on this, hyung.”

Seokjin sighs, he really hates that he has no power to fight Jimin back just because he has no one else to rant about his feelings. “Okay, so I just realized that Namjoon always gave me a flower every 4th of the month and now,”

“It’s 4th.”

“Yes,”

“And according to that, he will give you other flowers today.”

Seokjin bites his lower lips. “Yeah, but what is worse than red carnation?” Seokjin shakes his head. “He already gave me a flower that means deep love, what else could he give me? Is that a worse flower than something which means he loves me as his best friend when I’m in love as a man? Also as a best friend, but I love him more than that and he is not.”

“Love is a big word, wow, hyung.”

“I love him, Jimin.”

Jimin’s smile is getting softened at Seokjin’s confession, and he drops his shoulders and sympathizes. “I know, hyung and I’m sure Namjoon hyung feels the same.”

“I don’t think so. You could send someone a lot more beautiful flowers and still love them as your good friends.” Seokjin forces himself to smile because he can’t cry before going to work. What does he have to tell Namjoon if he sees the puffy eyes on his face?

Jimin folds his lips, thinking and Seokjin sipping again his coffee, letting the liquid fill his empty stomach that Namjoon must immediately scold him when he knew Seokjin drinks coffee on an empty stomach. Maybe his morning yogurt that Namjoon always gives him is already waiting on his desk and Namjoon. Namjoon must be waiting for him now.

“Let’s make a bet then, hyung.”

“It’s not a joke, Jimin.” Seokjin shakes his head, not that he is waiting for Jimin to finish his thought for only the man takes his misery as an excuse to make it a bet.

“I mean,” Jimin goes slower, reaching Seokjin’s hand to tap it lightly. “If Namjoon hyung doesn’t confess his feelings, why don’t you be the one who takes the first step?”

“Huh?”

“The scenario could be like this,” Jimin clears his throat, leaning closer like he needs Seokjin to hear him better. “Namjoon hyung already give you all the hints he can and he happens to be an ordinary man that was born with a technology called nervous, so he accidentally slipped out that he loves you as a best friend that you cried on the whole month,”

“I’m not crying.”

“Come back to me when you have your acting course finished, Kim Seokjin.”

Seokjin swallows heavily. He has to hold himself harder not to fight back when Jimin drops the honorifics, but again, he’s got the point. Seokjin is really bad at lying.

“So, if Namjoon hyung is too nervous to finally confess, you should, hyung.”

“Why — “

“Chase your happiness, hyung. We know how Namjoon hyung makes you happy and I don’t want you to regret something that you should have in the first place just because you are too scared to try. Trust me, and moreover trust your own feelings.”

Jimin sounds like his mother again but this time Seokjin feels grateful.

“What if,” Seokjin licks his lips, feeling nervous. “What if it turns out we read everything wrong this whole time? What are we gonna do?”

“I'm a Namjinist president, It won’t go wrong.”

“What is a Namjinist?”

Jimin laughs, ignoring Seokjin’s confused face. “But if everything goes wrong, I got your back, hyung. I’ll come and find Yoongi hyung so he can scold Namjoon hyung until his ear falls off.”

“Yoongi? Uhm, I don’t think that’s a win-win solution.”

Jimin shrugs. “You’re not the one who has to try hard here, hyung.”

“I feel like I should start to worry about how much I have to pay you for these sessions, whatever session we are in and it already feels like something expensive.”

Jimin only sends Seokjin one last smirk before tapping on his hand lightly. “Come on, hyung. You deserve that happiness and to kiss Namjoon’s hyung sweet deep dimple at the end of the night of your birthday. You’re not crying over him every night for the whole month just to let Namjoon hyung loves you as his best friend and not as a sexy man who has a broad shoulder and those sexy full lips,”

“I don’t think that’s the rule and I’m not crying.”

“But you don’t oppose the kiss idea, do you? Also, you are crying.”

“Well, because that will be a waste.” Seokjin scratches his pink cheeks, replying to Jimin’s teaseful question that is supposed to be rhetorical because it’s Namjoon they’re talking about and kiss those dimples is nothing but on Seokjin’s top wishlist, and yes, he spent a little bit more time than he thought he would be to cry over Namjoon, not exaggeratedly a whole month but yeah, he just feel so weak for a couple nights.

He even has to skip their movie night so Namjoon won’t ask about it.

“Anyway, go and catch your man, hyung.”

Seokjin holds his breath for a moment before nodding. “Okay, let’s get it. Today is my birthday, the universe should be on my side or I’ll start crying again.”

Hell no. Turns out the universe still can be not on your side no matter if it’s your birthday or you just spent a sleepless night, you can’t always get what you want. It’s life.

“Happy birthday, hyung.”

“Oh?”

Seokjin looks at Namjoon who is welcoming him cheerfully when he finally reaches his desk, with as what Seokjin expected, a bottle of strawberry yogurt in his hand that he immediately hands it to Seokjin. “I thought you wouldn't come.”

Seokjin shows up late for a couple minutes. He asked the boss in advance just in case he will need more time to gather himself so he won’t come to the office like a proper human and not some messy creature who hopes can curl all day long in the bed without doing anything.

“Are you okay, hyung?” Namjoon asks Seokjin again when Seokjin doesn’t give him any confirmation and just sits quietly on his desk, playing with the yogurt bottle.

“Oh?” Seokjin blinks. “Yeah, sure. Thank you, Joon.” Seokjin genuinely smiles, raising his yogurt. “Thank you for this and for the birthday wishes.”

Namjoon forms a bigger smile, like it’s his birthday instead of Seokjin’s while Seokjin is holding himself not to ask about what flowers will Namjoon give to him this time. He is scared, but he has to admit that he is also waiting for it.

Seokjin loves how Namjoon has been constantly showering him with beautiful flowers from the beginning of the year until the end of the year, if the man is preparing another flower for his birthday today.

“So,” Namjoon claps excitedly. “I reserved the place that you keep talking about for a long time that we still haven’t found the right time to go there yet, since you are also not coming to our movie night,”

“I told you my parents were coming, Joon. I’m sorry.”

Namjoon grins widely. Seokjin knows Namjoon is just teasing at him even though that’s not changing the fact that Seokjin feels guilty that he was lying about that to Namjoon just because he happened to wake with a very ugly puffy eyes and he doesn’t know how to explain it to Namjoon because he can’t tell him that he may got stung with a bees.

“And you don’t have to, Joon. I mean the restaurant, I’m sure it’s pretty popular.”

“Yes.” Namjoon snaps his fingers. “And the reservation is crazy. I’m sure the only competitor is trying to get a BTS concert ticket.”

Seokjin giggles. “Will you also get me a BTS concert ticket?”

“Do you want me to?”

Seokjin shakes his head quickly when Namjoon looks at him like he would immediately do that if Seokjin asked him to, even though seeing how handsome BTS’s Jin from upclose will be worth every blood, sweat, tear, and penny, Seokjin won’t take down the chance.

“Really, you don’t have to, Joon.”

“A simple thank you will be appreciated, hyung.” Namjoon smiles and Seokjin feels like his toes are curling inside his shoes like a teenager facing his crush. Oh, God. “Also, it’s your birthday! I’m not going to take you to a shady place, hyung. You deserve the best.”

“Thank you, Joon. I really appreciate it and I’m happy.”

Namjoon smiles happily, so happy, Seokjin’s heart beating like crazy. “That’s good then.”

“Even though it doesn’t matter wherever you take me, every place will be a good place if I’m with you, Joon. You can just take me home and cook me some soggy noodles and I’m sure, I will still have fun.”

“Oh, wow. That’s — romantic,” Namjoon’s face suddenly flushed in red and that took Seokjin by surprise. It’s a rare moment to catch on and Namjoon looks so adorable, it hurts. “But, just to make it clear, I can cook you normal noodles, hyung. I’m not that bad.”

“It’s nice to have some faith in yourself, Joon.” Seokjin teases playfully.

Namjoon pouts. “And we can do that later if you want, hyung. We have a lot of time, like you know, when you finally come to our movie night,”

“Not that again,” Seokjin drops his shoulder. “Should I call my mom?”

Namjoon laughs satisfiedly and Seokjin has to be grateful that the man doesn’t really ask him to call his mother because he doesn’t tell his mother yet who that day actually went to Jeju Island with her friends while his father went fishing. “So, let’s go home on time today, and since it’s your special day, let’s also wear this, hyung.” Seokjin takes the paper bag from under his desk and hands it to Seokjin.

“Huh? What — “ Seokjin can’t finish his sentence when he sees what is inside the bag and takes a moment to really process it. “Pink sweater? And what do you mean by wearing this?”

Namjoon grins proudly while pulling the same pink sweater that Seokjin doesn’t realize it’s already there since the beginning, on the back of his chair. “Tada! Couple sweater!”

Couple. Sweater.

“Joon,”

“You love pink, hyung. So, let’s make today more fun!”

Seokjin swallows heavily on a couple words. Seokjin doubts Namjoon doesn’t get what a concept of couple means, yet he still does it proudly, like they are a real couple.

“But, you never wear pink, Joon.”

“There’s always a reason to make an excuse and change is fun.” Namjoon raises his fore fingers before pointing at himself. “Pink actually looks good on me.”

“It is.” Seokjin smiles. “Oh, Joon. You did too much.”

Namjoon shakes his head. “I just do whatever needs to be done for your birthday, hyung. It’s a special day and I’m ready to monopolize your happiness for today, so you will remember this day whenever you need it.”

“What if I can’t take another birthday celebration if it’s not coming from you after this?”

“Then don’t, you can just stay with me, hyung.”

Seokjin laughs, just to cover the loud sound inside his chest that also feels like it could jump out anytime if Namjoon really meant the words he just said, even though of course, Seokjin will be so happy to take everything Namjoon gave him.

“I’ll give everything you want.”

“Don’t promise me such a thing, Joon. You will regret it if I’m really using you.”

Namjoon stares deeply at Seokjin like he doesn’t want to give Seokjin any chances to get lost from his sight, and everything suddenly flashed out in front of Seokjin’s eyes. Having Namjoon in his life is the best thing that ever happened to him and he doesn’t want to ever lose that, moreover just because he doesn’t get his feelings reciprocated.

Seokjin is okay with that, as long as he still has Namjoon on his side.

“Try me, hyung.”

Seokjin chuckles and slaps Namjoon's arm lightly. “I assume you are ready to get me more than just a BTS concert ticket then, Kim Namjoon.”

“I’m more than ready, hyung.”

“I believe in you, Joon.”

Seokjin is the one who isn’t ready.

The pink sweater looks good. It even has this cute little alpaca print in front of it. Turns out Namjoon did a good job choosing it and it also means that Namjoon knows Seokjin so well. Once, Seokjin can’t stop talking about it when they went to the zoo and Namjoon let him even though that means they get unnecessary attention from the kindergarteners who absolutely think that Seokjin is a hundred times more excited than them.

It's an alpaca, who doesn’t love them?

Namjoon remembers everything after he always let Seokjin do everything he wanted.

No one understands him as Namjoon did.

The sweater also feels nice under his skin after Seokjin wears it and he can’t help but to smile at his reaction when he stands in front of the mirror. Namjoon really did a good job and the way he also reserved a hard seat in Seokjin’s favorite restaurant, Seokjin can’t hold his feelings again and the worse is, he is afraid now that it can’t get back to normal.

“Fuck,” Seokjin comes under his breath, leaning onto the mirror when out of all the things, his eyes choose to suddenly got sting and he is sure he will burst into tears. He can’t cry here even though thanks to their boss who suddenly has an additional task for them that keeps them late and stays in the office when everyone is already home and preparing something fun to do for the weekend.

Seokjin is also about to do something fun with Namjoon, his friend who is so kindly trying to give Seokjin the best birthday celebration, but why does everything not feel as joyful as it’s supposed to? Seokjin wasn't raised to be an ungrateful bitch.

“Fuck,”

“Hyung!”

“Oh?”

Seokjin turns to see Namjoon is already wearing the sweater and God, Namjoon rarely wears it, but he should do it more because he looks so good in it. It’s cute. “Wow, the sweater — the pink really looks good on you, Joon.”

“Hehe,” Namjoon giggles shyly, checking on himself and looks happy. At least one of them looks genuinely happy. “I also like it, hyung. It looks good.”

“It is, Joon.”

“Hyung,” Namjoon calls out and Seokjin doesn’t realize what is just happening. “Are you okay?” He comes closer with his worried face.

“Oh? What?”

Seokjin loses the brake and unconsciously lets the tears streaming down on his face out of control. He can feel it while he blinks rapidly but it just makes it worse.

“Hyung, are — are you really okay? Are you crying? Why, why —”

Seokjin cries more when Namjoon starts caressing his face. Seokjin leans to the touch and brings himself to cry on Namjoon’s shoulder, pulling Namjoon into a tight hug.

Screw him.

“Hyung, what happened? Why are you crying?” Like it’s his nature, Namjoon hugs Seokjin back and now rubbing Seokjin’s back to soothe him. “What happened?”

“I’m — “ Seokjin tries to talk between his loud sobbing. “I’m happy,”

“Huh?”

Seokjin chuckles even though it’s hard to do that on his heavy lungs. “I’m happy, it’s my birthday — and,” Seokjin takes a deep breath. “And I have you here, Joon.”

“Reminds me that we just have overtime work?”

“Yes, the boss is such a bitch.”

Namjoon laughs and keeps rubbing Seokjin’s back. “If you are happily crying, you should cry later because we are just about to start, hyung.” Namjoon whispers in Seokjin’s ears, making Seokjin stop sobbing and slapping on Namjoon’s back because even though he can’t see it, he can hear Namjoon’s smile at his words.

“I don’t know if you are easily crying like this, you are a baby.”

“I’ll let you go because it’s my birthday, Kim Namjoon.”

“Baby hyung,”

“Shut up.” Seokjin is about to let go of the hug when Namjoon holds him.

Namjoon still has his hands circling on Seokjin’s waist and Seokjin also doesn’t do anything to let Namjoon go. With their short distance, Seokjin can even feel Namjoon’s warm breath brushing on his face while the man’s dragon eyes pinning on him and Seokjin’s heart once again sliding down to his toes. “Joon,”

It takes a moment for Namjoon to react to how Seokjin struggles to talk properly, because Seokjin is sure that no one will be able to do it if they are in the same situation. Something happened the way Namjoon looks at him and Seokjin is still too scared to name it.

“I think we will do it later in the restaurant and not in this empty office.”

“Oh?”

Namjoon smiles and when he lets Seokjin go, Seokjin almost wants to pull Namjoon back because he likes to feel their body warmth pressed together. It feels nice and Namjoon smells good, but Seokjin may be proud of himself for still having a good self control so he can see Namjoon takes something from his drawer.

“We still have time,” Namjoon looks at his watch and nods. “And I’m about to give it to you later, but I don’t want you to cry in front of the good food, so — “ Namjoon licks his lips while it’s been a minute for Seokjin holding his breath at what Namjoon pulls out from his drawer.

“Here’s for you, hyung. Happy birthday.”

It’s a bouquet, but not a flower.

“You didn’t tell me what you want for your birthday, but I still want to give you something because it’s your birthday, hyung.” Namjoon hands the bouquet that Seokjin accepts obediently. “I still have to show the gratitude that I’m happy and thankful you were born and you are here with me now.”

It’s not a flower bouquet, Seokjin doesn’t get another flower on 4th December but instead he grabs a bouquet of his own picture, specifically a picture of him smiling on so many occasions with the flowers he gets from Namjoon every month. Namjoon takes a picture of him without Seokjin realizing it.

“Happiness always suits you best, hyung.” Namjoon continues. “I hope you will always remember to smile even though the world isn’t an easy place. I like to see you smile more.”

Seokjin feels like he will cry again when Namjoon cups his face once again and caresses his tears trace on his face. “You could cry again but you look better when you’re not, hyung.”

“Are you trying to say that I look ugly now?”

“How dare I call you ugly, hyung? Those flowers should eny at you.”

Seokjin bites his lower lips, only hoping that his ears won’t betray him this time even though it will be easier asking for fish to fly than to do that. “I don’t know if a smart man like you can have those cheesy lines, but thank you, Joon.” Seokjin smiles, looking at the present on his hand once again and it warms his heart as Namjoon’s hand stays on his face. “I will tell my mother that you are happy for my existence. She’s gonna be happier.”

“I love you, hyung.”

It clenches Seokjin’s heart hard but he manages to say it back. “I love you too, Joon.”

Namjoon shakes his head and Seokjin doesn’t get it. “I mean it, hyung.”

Seokjin giggles. “I knew, Joon.”

“I’m falling in love with you, Kim Seokjin. That’s what I’m trying to say now.”

Oh?

Oh.

Hold on,

Seokjin’s breath hitches. So, he just can leave his mouth hanging open without being able to let out a single word and Namjoon talks again. “I’m sorry if I told you that I love you as my best friend even though of course I love you as my best friend. I’m not lying.”

“Huh?”

“But I should also tell you that I love you more than that. I love you as you, hyung.” Namjoon continues while smiling. “I’m sorry if that makes you sad. That’s the least I want to do to you. I should get clearer with my words even though I think I already make everything obvious by giving you those flowers, but I think it’s just because you only deserve a good thing.”

“I’m not sad — “ Seokjin stops himself when he sees Namjoon laughs. “Why do I feel that I already know what is happening here?” He squints his eyes at Namjoon.

“Me confessing to you and you still don’t say it back?”

“Kim Namjoon,”

Namjoon folds his lips, he is obviously getting caught and has no other way to run. So, he is letting Seokjin go to scratch on one of his dimples that Seokjin is dying to kiss. His handsome face once again gets flushed and Seokjin almost forgets everything. “Yoongi hyung thinks Jimin is cute, also Jimin,”

“I can’t believe you are using them!”

“Is it a win-win solution?”

Seokjin groans and moves one of his hands randomly in the air. “Why does everyone think of a win-win solution when it’s not?” Seokjin hollows his cheeks. “I will make him payback a million times more. I hate you, Kim Namjoon!”

Namjoon goes back immediately to reach Seokjin’s wrist, like he doesn’t allow Seokjin to go even though of course Seokjin won’t leave just like that after waiting for the whole month for this moment to finally happen, to finally get a chance to kiss those pretty cute dimples.

“No, you don’t. You love me, Kim Seokjin.”

“I didn’t say anything about that.” Seokjin bites his lower lips, avoiding eye contact.

“But your ears are red, hyung.”

“I don’t care.”

“I care.” Namjoon smiles and that’s Seokjin’s last straw. “Because that means what you said to Jimin is true, you love me. You are just too afraid if I don’t feel the same.”

Seokjin lets out a long sigh before eventually coming back to Namjoon who is waiting for him to turn with his deep dimple smile, it melts Seokjin inside. “I don’t expect Jimin to spread my privacy like that,” Seokjin pouts.

“Talk with me now then, hyung.”

“What?” Of course Seokjin is pretending not to understand what Namjoon means, but maybe that’s not the best decision he made for tonight, besides the way his ears are constantly betraying him. “What should I tell you?”

“I’m sorry for not giving you flowers again this month if you are expecting it,”

“No.”

Seokjin loses the count of how many times he’s been lying to Namjoon tonight and still, he is so bad at it. It’s a very bad decision.

“I’m saving the best for the last. You are the prettiest flowers, hyung.” Namjoon points at Seokjin’s picture bouquet that is now meeting with the owner. “I can start to give you more flowers again next month if you want to.”

“You don’t have to,”

“Really?”

“Kim Namjoon!”

Namjoon laughs and he takes a step closer that makes Seokjin have to work so hard to keep his lungs working on properly and his heart stops beating like a happy puppy who is running on the field, trying to catch the sun after heavy rain.

It only needs one more step for Namjoon to close the gap between them, for finally they have to share the oxygen or to not think about what the space is. And when Namjoon decides to take the last step,

“I love you, Kim Seokjin.

Seokjin swallows heavily when Namjoon looks like he is trying to swallow Seokjin with those sharp beautiful eyes and his hands slipping gently, circling on Seokjin’s waist.

The last step is about to be taken, when Seokjin pulls Namjoon closer to close the gap between them without even thinking to ask about it first and crashing their lips on a slow gentle kiss.

“Oh,”

“I love you too, Kim Namjoon.” Seokjin murmurs between the kiss, ignoring the fact that his whole body is now screaming in joy and Namjoon may be able to hear his heartbeat or how loud his bloodrush under his skin.

“Consent is sexy, but I don’t mind having this kind of surprise sometimes.”

“Shut up.”

Namjoon smiles once again before this time taking a blunt step to pull Seokjin closer like it isn't close enough for them to share the exact same space. “You are my pink hydrangeas, hyung.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean this time?”

“Sincere love, also pink is you, cute.”

And turns out kissing Namjoon feels greater than Seokjin thought it would be, he can do it forever. “You are also my pink hydrangeas, Joon, and because you look good in pink. You should wear it more.”

“I’ll wear it again on our second date.”

“Deal, now kiss me again, so we can go on our first date.”