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You practically skipped down the hall to the elevator. You were glad the elevator didn't take long as you pressed the button for the floor above yours. You moved swiftly down the hall to Bucky's apartment. You held the small package securely behind your back, eager to give him the small gift that had just arrived. You knocked quickly before hearing a muffled shout to hold on. The quiet grumbling slowly grew louder as he approached the door, face melting from annoyance to adoration as the door swung inward.
"Hi," Bucky breathed out, wrapping his arms around you, "I wasn't expecting you until later."
You balanced on your tip-toes, leaning up to press a quick kiss against his cheek. "I just couldn't wait," you admitted.
Bucky's arms dropped from around you as he stepped to the side so you could walk in. You'd gotten used to how barren his apartment was. Discussed how he'd never had this many things since before the draft. As you passed through his doorway you brought the small package in front of you, crossing the room. You sat on his couch, beaming at him as he sat beside you.
"I got you something!" Your excitement was barely able to stay contained much longer. You set the small bag on his lap, clasping your hands together.
"Baby, you didn't have to do that," Bucky says softly, looking down at the small package.
"I wanted to," you insist, "besides it's nothing big, I promise."
Bucky meets your eyes with a look of amazement, a gentle expression conveying everything you already know. He gives a small nod before picking up the little bag. He reaches in and pulls out the socks you'd ordered. His brow furrows slightly as he feels the soft material, a confused smile adorning his face.
"I know they're not your usual choice," you begin, "but I thought they'd be nice for when you're just hanging out. Instead of always wearing athletic socks around the apartment. The floors get too cold for how thin those socks are."
Bucky leans over and wraps an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side. "Thank you, I never would have thought of that."
You leaned further into his side, glad that the pack of socks was well received. You cuddled further into him as he pulled a pair of the patterned socks on. You stayed through the afternoon, enjoying Bucky's company. The two of you were laughing as you told him about your most recent incident at work. As you were describing the look on your boss' face when he realized he'd given the entire presentation with smudged lipstick along his neck, Bucky's phone rang. He sighed as he stood, crossing the room to grab the device. You couldn't hear what the person on the other line was saying, but from Bucky’s quick responses you knew he had a mission.
So as not to disturb him, you quietly pulled on your shoes. You went to give Bucky a quick kiss goodbye when his arm wrapped around you.
“I'll be there in thirty minutes,” Bucky ended the call.
You draped your arms over his shoulders, “I thought we lived twenty minutes from the tower?”
Smiling down at you Bucky shrugs. “I wanted a bit more time with you. Especially when I wanted to give you this,” Bucky reached into his pocket. He handed you a small silver key.
“Your key? Is this a long mission? I don't mind house sitting for you.”
Bucky smiled and gave a small shake of his head. “It's my spare key. I figured that it made sense to give you it. We've been dating for a few months, and we spend so much time together.”
You wrapped your arms around Bucky's shoulders, hugging him as tightly as possible. “Thank you,” you whispered against him.
Your heart swelled at the gesture. You knew how hard it was for him to trust people. It'd been a slow process to get to know each other. A full year of small interactions that slowly lead to the beginning of your friendship. As your friendship solidified, so did your feelings for Bucky. You were surprised by the fact your feelings were mutual when Bucky asked you on the first date. Now, four months later, you don't think you've ever been happier.
“I wouldn't want anyone else to have it,” Bucky whispers back to you. “Let me grab my go-bag and I'll walk you back to your apartment.”
The two of you left the apartment hand in hand, with you locking the door behind you.
***
It was officially two weeks since Bucky gave you a key to his apartment, which meant you hadn’t heard from him for two weeks either. You stayed busy, trying your best not to think about how he may be risking his life right this second. You had deep cleaned your entire apartment, made sure to grab Bucky’s mail when you got your own, and generally stayed in. Today, as you were closing the door to Bucky’s apartment after setting his mail down on the kitchen counter you decided to venture out. You had managed this long with just quick trips to the grocery store, but the cabin fever had fully set in today. Unsure of how busy a place you wanted to be, you settled on the bookstore across town.
You meandered your way up and down the isles, finding a few books that piqued your interest. It was as you were heading up to the registers that you saw the display. It was in the children’s section, next to where volunteers would read stories to the children. An entire bookcase was filled with stuffed animals. The one that had caught your eye the most was on the bottom shelf. A small white and gray wolf with icy blue eyes. You couldn’t help it as you grabbed the animal and added it to your stack of items.
Before long you had your books and wolf secured in the bag. You were walking toward the train station, thinking about when to give your little surprise to Bucky. You had no idea when he’d be returning from his mission, but what you did know was it was coming up on the anniversary of when he was declared to be officially deprogrammed of the Winter Soldier’s activation words. You remembered when you found out Bucky had been declared as the “white wolf” by the children of Wakanda. He’d seemed embarrassed by the nickname when he first told you, but you had reassured him that it suited him.
The train made quick work of taking you across the city. You were soon walking into your apartment building, taking the stairs up to your floor. It was when you turned the corner that led you down the hall to your door that you spotted him. Bucky had his bag over his shoulder, his jacket hanging open while his boots were caked in dried mud.
He was lifting his arm to knock on your door as you opened your mouth, “You’re back!”
Bucky turned to see you approaching. As soon as you were close enough for him to reach you, he pulled you into him. His arms wrapped tightly around you as his shoulders slumped. His head rested atop yours while you hugged him back.
“Are you okay? Injured anywhere?” You worried about him.
Bucky shook his head, his cheek rubbing against the crown of your head. You gave him one final squeeze before managing to turn around in his hold. You slotted your key into the door and led the two of you inside. You toed off your shoes as Bucky unwrapped one arm to close the door behind the two of you. Not bothering to turn the lights on as you made your way through the apartment, the path to your room easy to navigate. You gently put the bag from the bookstore on the ground before Bucky pulled the two of you onto the bed.
He landed on his back, angling the landing so that you would be lying atop him. His eyes were closed as you laid against him. The steady thump-thump of his heart beneath your ear revealed how relaxed he was. As you lifted your head, you heard the quietest snore slip out from him, revealing just how tired he was. You stood from his hold, taking a minute to unlace his boots before slipping his feet from them. You grabbed his go-bag from the doorway and removed the one pair of sweatpants and the soft hoodie you had given him weeks ago.
Sitting beside his head, you gently cupped his bearded cheek. “Jamie,” you called out in a hushed tone. “Darling, I need you to wake up.”
The rhythm of Bucky’s snores faltered.
“It’ll be just a moment, I promise. I grabbed you some comfy clothes. If you change, we can cuddle under the blanket.”
Bucky’s eyes cracked open ever so slightly at your offer. You could tell he was weighing whether cuddling under the blanket would be better than sleeping immediately. As he thought, your thumb traced a path back and forth against his bearded cheek. It wasn’t often he let his short stubble go beyond being just that, but you enjoyed the way the bristly hair felt against your skin. It took just a few moments more for him to close his eyes once again with an exaggerated exhale as he sat up. The smallest uptick of his lips revealed that he was just being dramatic about changing his clothes.
“Thank you,” you kissed his cheek as you passed him the folded stack of fabric.
He lazily nodded as he grabbed the items, turning to walk the few steps into your bathroom. As he changed you pulled back the covers of your bed. You tucked yourself under the blanket, glad you had decided to dress comfortably when deciding to finally leave your apartment. Once Bucky reappeared from the dark bathroom, you lifted your arm while lifting the blanket. Bucky wasted no time in crawling into the bed, letting your arm drape across him as the blanket encased the two of you together. His arm settled into the slight dip of your waist pulling you against his chest. The hoodie he now wore was pushed up around his waist, the two of you lying chest to chest. You rested your cheek against his chest, feeling the warmth radiate from where his skin touched the thin material of your shirt before your legs tangled together.
As the two of you fell asleep facing each other, you appreciated the way his face relaxed so openly. It wasn’t often Bucky looked so untroubled, and you couldn’t help but wish you could get him to look this untroubled when he was awake too.
***
The week following Bucky’s return from his mission was blissful. With the intensity of his last mission and this one, and the duration of the two, he wasn’t assigned to go on another mission for at least a full month. You weren’t certain what his missions entailed, but Bucky was willing to reveal that he was making great progress on the mission his assigned missions were for. The information he managed to gather would take the other teams at least a month to fully analyze, and in the meantime it seemed he was determined to spend all his time with you.
You were hoping to surprise Bucky with a lunch date today. You had a plan, texting him to meet you at the restaurant for one. You heard as his door loudly closed behind him upstairs at noon. Moments later your phone buzzed with a message from Sam. Tin man is coming over now you read on the screen. You quickly sent your thanks before grabbing the box you’d prepared. Seeing that five minutes had passed since the Bucky’s apartment door closed, you made sure you had everything before sneaking up to his apartment.
The box balanced on your hip as you unlocked his door. Slipping inside, you got to work. You spread the oversized, fluffy, cider colored blanket over the arm of his couch. You had never been more thankful that his coffee table was barren of clutter as you spread out the snacks you had brought over. Soon the small table was covered by a tray of cookies, bags of sweets, cans of soda and bottles of water. You crossed the room and set your stack of movies beside his DVD player. Glancing over the room once more, you nodded as everything was set up. Finally, you set the wolf you had bought in Bucky’s usual seat. Your phone buzzed from your pocket as the alarm you had set began to go off. Swiping it away, you exited Bucky’s apartment and headed toward the restaurant.
***
Just as you were being seated, Bucky arrived. You watched as he made quick work of crossing the small dining room. The dark jeans he wore contrasted well with the light blue shirt he had on beneath his usual leather jacket. His cheeks were slightly tinged pink from the constant wind outside.
“I’m sorry I’m late,” he said before quickly kissing your cheek then taking a seat across from you.
You waved his worry away easily, “I just got here. I figured I would get us a table before they,” you gestured to the large group that was speaking with the host, “tried to get one.”
Bucky’s chuckle made you smile.
Your lunch date carried on with laughter and smiles being shared. Everything between the two of you was so natural, every moment as easy as breathing.
***
“Would you like to come up?” Bucky offered as you both made your way up the stairs together.
“That sounds great,” you swung his hand in yours.
You bit your lip as the two of you carried on past your floor. You were going over everything you had set up before leaving as Bucky slid his key in the lock. As his door swung open, he stepped out of the way so you could go in first. You stepped into the entryway before turning around to catch his reaction. Just as you faced Bucky, he stopped in his tracks. His brows furrowed slightly at the scene laid out before him while a mystified reaction made its way to his features.
“Surprise,” you giggled. “I thought we could have a movie day!”
“Baby,” Bucky’s breathless voice exhaled. “What’s all this?”
You gently grabbed his hands and pulled him along as you walked backward. “Well, I thought we could have a date-day. Get lunch, watch movies, and spend time together,” you explained. “Not that we haven’t been spending time together. But rather, I wanted to surprise you with a planned time together.”
Bucky’s wonderstruck expression melted away as you spoke, fondness clear in his gaze. “That sounds wonderful,” he quietly rasped out.
You couldn’t help the way your shoulders relaxed at his response. You figured he would like your surprise, but hearing how happy he was with your plan filled you with warmth. You couldn’t stop the surprised squeak that escaped your lips as Bucky picked you up, spun the two of you around, and fell back on the couch with you held close. Where his head now lay made the wolf you got him fall over onto his face. A breathless laugh escaped him as the soft plush bounced off his head.
“And who is this?” He pulled one arm from around you and grabbed the toy.
“Your spirit animal,” you joked. “To keep you company when I’m downstairs and you’re up here.”
Bucky’s attention shifted from your gaze to the plush that now looked small in his hold. Realization colored his tone as he spoke, “A white wolf.”
You nodded reiterating, “Like I said. Your spirit animal.”
Bucky’s laughter shook you where you lay against him, before he nodded as well. “In that case, he should watch movies with us.”
You leant down to press your lips against his before sitting up. As you stood up Bucky shifted so his head was atop the blanket and against the arm of the couch. You felt his eyes on you as you ambled across the room, powering on his DVD player and opening the first movie you planned on playing.
“I still don’t see why you won’t let me make you a profile on my streaming accounts,” you mumbled to yourself as the disc tray slid back in the player.
“Because then you would have no reason to keep your DVD collection,” Bucky replied easily. “And I don’t need to buy another new television.”
“You wouldn’t need a different television,” you argued as you pulled the blanket out from beneath his head. “You’d just need one of those dongle things that lets you make a TV into a smart TV.”
Bucky laughed, “You know I have no idea what any of that means, right?”
“Old man,” you grumbled with a roll of your eyes as you laid against Bucky’s chest once again, this time with the blanket sprawled out to cover the two of you.
Bucky grabbed the remote from your hand, “Aren’t you the one who always points out that we’re physically the same age?”
As the TV turns on you hear the familiar sounds of the selection menu on the screen. “And aren’t you the one that likes to brag about reading The Hobbit when it first came out?” You retort with a smile.
Before he can respond, you gently push Bucky’s cheek so his eyes are on the screen. You know the instant he sees that the movie you chose was The Hobbit . You make quick work of pressing play on the remote still in his grasp. Cozying up to Bucky, you replace the remote with your hand as the opening scenes play.
***
You couldn’t help the yawn that escaped you as you watched the movie end, Frodo making his visit to Bilbo. You enjoyed the movie, but relaxing alongside your boyfriend for three hours made you sleepy.
“What d’ya think?” You tiredly mumbled.
“I think that despite all the sugar we just ate,” Bucky turns off the TV, “we should get you in bed.”
“No,” you weakly protest. “Not that. The movie!”
“Baby," you felt Bucky’s hand gently cup your cheek, “I really think we should go to bed.”
You slowly blinked as you processed his words. “That sounds nice,” you sighed.
You slowly sat up, but before you could stand Bucky’s arms slid beneath you. Between one moment and the next Bucky was carrying you to bed. The easy sway of his steps had you easily creeping closer to sleep. The softness of the mattress greeted you as he set you down.
“The movie was good,” Bucky began, his voice traveling around the room. “I wasn’t upset with the things they changed, but I don’t understand some of the changes either.”
You hummed, hoping it would encourage him to keep talking.
“Here, I grabbed you some clothes to sleep in,” Bucky’s voice came from beside you.
When you opened your eyes again, his form was blurry. You sat up, pulling your shirt over your head. You reached out blindly, feeling soft fabric. You went to take it from Bucky’s hold, but he carefully guided your arms through the holes before pulling it over your head.
“Is it okay for me to change your pants?” Bucky asked clearly.
You laid back while nodding sloppily, “Tha’s fine,” you slurred out.
You felt Bucky’s hand at your waistband, undoing the button and zipper. “I enjoyed the day with you. It was nice.”
“Good, you deserve nice things. Especially today.”
“Is that so?” Bucky pulled your pants off completely.
You squinted at him in a weak attempt of glaring. “Why wouldn’t you?”
Bucky didn’t respond as he pulled a large pair of shorts up to your waist. He pulled the covers over you before you heard him step away.
The bed dipped down beside you before he responded, “I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve a lot of things.”
“Hey,” you turned to face Bucky, his response making you more alert. “You deserve nice things. All the time. And even if you don’t think so, I do. So I’ll keep getting you little things, because you deserve them.”
“You don’t have to do that,” Bucky cupped your cheek again. “I have you, and that’s more than I deserve.”
You pouted, wishing you could make him understand. “Life isn’t always about what is deserved. Or isn’t deserved. It can also be about things you want. I want to get you nice things. I want to make sure you know how much I love you. I want to be the person you go to when missions are so hard you don’t talk for days afterwards. You deserve to have someone that notices little details about you. I want to celebrate important days with you, and give you soft things to make up for the years you didn’t have anything. I want to make you smile and feel loved. And you deserve all those things. You deserve to be loved, and have someone care about you wholly.”
There was a beat of silence before Bucky crashed his lips against yours once again. The passion held between his lips that consumed you took your breath away. Your head spun, and you couldn't tell if it was just because of him or a lack of air. The answer didn’t matter. All too soon Bucky broke away from the kiss, resting his forehead against yours while panting. You felt his warm breaths puff against your lips as you leaned in to kiss him again. He held you still from where he cupped your cheeks.
“That’s why?” Bucky asked between gasps of air.
“Why what?” You whispered into the small gap between the two of you.
“That’s why you get me little things? Like the socks, the blanket, the wolf. Because I went so long without?”
“I get you them because I want to. And I hope that it makes up for the years you had no choices. I know it’s dumb,” you try to explain. “But I hope it makes up for all the pain you never deserved. I got the wolf to represent that chapter of your life being over, and I gave it to you today to celebrate the anniversary of you gaining your freedom back. I got you the hoodie because I know how much the cold bothers you deep down. I found the socks because you don’t need to only buy things to be practical. The blanket was a bit selfish, I admit it. But I wanted to be able to cuddle you close while having plenty of blanket left.”
Bucky let out a small whine deep in his throat, “Baby…”
“I just want you to realize how much I love you. And I choose you every time, because I want you in my life. And sometimes it feels like I don’t deserve you, but for some reason you choose me too. And you never fail to show me just how much you care about me.”
“I love you so much.”
You lean in to kiss Bucky, and this time he doesn’t stop your lips from connecting.