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Lilly Lilium found herself again on pilgrimage. This time, it wasn’t a self-imposed exile with the goal of atonement. Perhaps, in its stead, the reason was even harder to deal with. Lilly took this journey to deal with her conflicting emotions over her relationship with one Miss Rae Taylor.
It had been half a year since Lilly had helped in the fight against the Demon Queen, the original Rae. Or perhaps Rei was the right name, Rei Oohashi instead of Rae Taylor. It certainly hadn’t done her confused feelings any favors to find out about who the Demon Queen was. But what was worse came after. The eigh aye thing, TAIM, had changed things. After Claire François—that was, the wife of Lilly’s own beloved Rae—had become the administrator of… whatever the concept was, It was all confusing to Lilly, TAIM had tried to lock her out, make her not exist, or something along those lines. In Claire’s place, TAIM had tried to use Lilly as Rae’s wife, as the other mother of Rae’s adopted daughters. In truth, it had only lasted two weeks, and Rae was asleep for most of it, but the memories still felt so real.
Every day, dealing with the lingering emotions from that got harder. She needed to do something. If she didn’t, she would likely go mad from trying to grapple with her desire to be with Rae and her wishes to respect Rae’s relationship for the most part. She’d certainly never turn Rae down, but… could she really try to step in after all of this? She doubted it.
So now the nun found herself in the newly reformed nation of Melica. It had previously been a part of the Nur Empire, but when Lady Philine had become Nur’s empress, Melica’s independence had been one of the first things established. As a result, while Lilly could never have gone there before, there was no such barrier now. As Lilly looked over the mountains off in the distant west, covered in a late autumn snow, the red-orange setting sun just behind it causing the snow to glimmer, she had to admit it was certainly beautiful.
Lilly stood just outside the country’s capital city. The presence of construction visible all throughout led her to believe that there had been damages at some point, possibly during Nur’s takeover. She hoped that the convent would be unharmed. Of course, given the nature of Melica’s religious beliefs, she couldn’t be too confident that it was.
Like Bauer, where Lilly came from, Melica was part of the Spiritual Church when it came to religion, but there was a slightly different and incredibly important difference in how it was believed. Bauer, and most other places Lilly had been to, believed in the Spirit God as an entity not on Earth. In Melica, however, it was believed that the Spirit God would inhabit a human body on Earth, with incarnation of this living god being, effectively, royalty. The current supreme leader who filled this role was someone Lilly had met before. Not only that, but the two had—quite unfortunately—crossed swords.
Friedelinde Eimer, or Frieda for short, had been a classmate to Rae Taylor and Claire François, as well as Philine Nur, when they had studied in Nur as political hostages under the guise of being exchange students—expect for Philine, of course, who was born in Nur and lived there her whole life. Lilly had first met Frieda when Pope Claire Répète III was visiting Nur to try to smooth out a peaceful option. Lilly had been sent ahead to help clear the way so the Pope could have a safe journey when she had found Rae, Claire, Philine, and Frieda being attacked by Aristo, one of the three archdemons, sworn enemies of the Spiritual Church. Lilly had intervened and saved them, and as a result, Frieda had seemed immediately smitten with her.
Lilly had never been quite sure how to react to that. She had only had eyes for Rae, really, even if it hurt greatly to be in love with someone who would never return her feelings. Frieda had, furthermore, seemed to be a flirt if Rae and Claire were to be believed. On the other hand, at least Claire seemed to think she came across far more genuine when she spoke to Lilly. Of course, even that could have been in an effort to encourage her away from Rae…
Whatever the case, Lilly would find herself within the capital city’s convent before too long. As might be expected of a religious nation, it was large and popular. Lily greeted the other nuns present. After explaining her situation to the one who had seemed most in charge, she had asked if there was room to spare in the convent for the night, only to be met with a less than ideal response.
“Between the nation being recently reformed and the reconstruction efforts on the convent, every bed is filled for the time being,” the nun, Sister Nadine who looked to be in about her 50s, explained. It not only confirmed her fear that the convent had sustained damages, but also meant that she’d either have to pay for an inn room or brave the outdoors for the night. “I do apologize, Miss Lilly. If there were even one to spare…”
“N- N o, it’s quite alright,” Lilly lied, cursing herself on the inside for doing so. She didn’t want to hurt Sister Eileen, so a false positive response seemed the best course of action. She would have to deal with the reparations for the act soon enough, she knew, but that could be handled in private. In the meantime, she’d ask for directions to an inn and figure out what to do from there.
It wasn’t five minutes after leaving the convent that Lilly heard a familiar voice call out to her.
“Oh, mon amour ! I did not expect for you to be here!” Frieda spoke happily. Lilly turned around, both happy that their previous interaction had left no bad blood and nervous as to what this conversation would lead to. “What brings such a lovely beauté to grace my humble home on this lovely day?”
Frieda knelt down in front of Lilly, took her hand, and gently kissed the top of it. Lilly felt her cheeks grow slightly rosier, but told herself to be calm. Surely growing romantically involved with someone of Frieda’s status would only be a bad thing, and that was even before remembering how she’d dedicated herself to Rae. Even if she knew, in spite of all hopes, that Rae wouldn’t reciprocate.
“ I- I’ve decided to undergo another pilgrimage,” Lilly admitted. Frieda stood up, but Lilly took particular notice that the supreme leader hadn’t let go of her hand. She hardly wanted to be rude and pull her hand back, though, so she let it happen.
“Oh? Je me demande , why when you’re so soon to be Cardinal again?” Frieda asked, genuine concern on her face. Lilly was surprised she knew about that—it wasn’t as though cardinals were known across the world, unlike the Pope. Furthermore, she would be among a small group of them in Bauer. She wouldn’t have been alone in her status, which was even less reason for the leader of a foreign nation to have such a vested interest in it.
“Uh, well… I- I guess I’m not sure I want to talk about that here, entirely,” Lilly gestured towards the public. She hoped it would be enough to drive Frieda away from the potential prying into her love life—or unfortunate lack thereof—but if anything, it seemed to embolden her.
“Oh! C'est parfait ! I was hoping you would want to go somewhere with less people!” Frieda smiled as she began to pull Lilly along with her, away from the inn she still needed to book a room in. The nun opened her mouth to protest, but it was clear Frieda wouldn’t have any of that. She was focused, determined. She had a goal, that much was clear.
Frieda had taken Lilly to what could only be described as a palace. It was grand, decorative, and truly befitting of royalty, which Frieda may as well have been. Admittedly, it was a far different kind of royal than what Bauer had—family lineage didn’t necessarily have anything to do with it. In fact, from what Lilly had gathered before, Melica tended only to have one person considered royalty, with even that person’s family not being considered—outside of spouses and children, the family of the supreme leader was typically no more important than the average citizen. Parents and siblings were not considered as part of a royal family in Melica, which was different from anywhere else Lilly had been.
“This place is so… lavish,” Lilly commented as Frieda led her through the halls. Nuns often lived lives without such luxury and abundance. It was only what was needed and nothing more. In truth, Lilly felt overwhelmed. Such a decadent place seemed so lovely, but would it not be a disservice to her position to indulge in it?
“The people of Melica see fit to grant their god luxury in exchange for grace, protection, and wisdom,” Frieda explained. It was a surprisingly thoughtful, if brisk, response. It was clear that Frieda took her role as supreme leader and living god of Melica seriously. She had put thought into it. For all the flirting and playfulness, it was easy to forget that Frieda had a more genuine and responsible side, one that took her role seriously. It made Lilly admire her a little bit more.
She’s a lot like Rae, in that way.
The thought had surprised Lilly, but it certainly wasn’t untrue. For all of Rae’s rambunctiousness, her silly side slipped when it needed to. She was fun, of course, but there had been so much depth beneath the surface that she didn’t often show.
Of course, all thoughts of that ceased when Frieda pushed open a door to a dining room. This wasn’t a banquet hall for hosting guests, but a private and personal room for loved ones or family. Atop the table were lit candles and plates yet to be filled. On either side of it, ornate chairs with soft-looking plush cushions. The shined wood of the table was a dark color, with the flames of the candles glimmering and gleaming off of it. To the side of the table, a covered tray emitted the scent of baked bread and freshly cooked steak. There were spices that Lilly couldn’t ever hope to identify by scent alone, perhaps even taste. It smelled delicious. It smelled far too good for her.
“Please, mademoiselle Lilly, have a seat,” Frieda encouraged as she offered a smile too genuine to deny. Still, Lilly hesitated. Treatment like this was befitting of a princess. If there was one thing Lilly Lilium was sure of, it was this:
“Lily Lilium is not a princess!” Lilly covered her face as she cried out in third person. This was far too much for just her! Surely someone else had to have been the intended recipient. Before Frieda could finish a confused chuckle, Lilly added, “T-This is far too much for me!”
" Non, non, mon cherie ! You are most deserving of such luxury!" Frieda tried to reassure Lilly, but the nun still couldn't help but feel out of place. Still, she felt a faint blush creeping into her cheeks. Why was Frieda so cute? she wondered. And why am I thinking this way about someone who isn't Rae? Frieda was cute, though. There was no denying it. From the way her long chestnut hair fell loose on her shoulders, brushing over them as though she were a painting on a canvas, to her absolutely hypnotic accent, to her surprisingly genuine and earnest show of affection, Lilly found her cute. As a result, Lilly finally obliged and, perhaps with less reluctance than she should have displayed, sat down.
“A-All of this is… for me?” Lilly asked, voice trembling slightly. She felt a small ache in her heart, realizing just what it all meant. If Frieda, supreme leader of Melica and the living embodiment of the Spirit God for the entire country, was willing to do all this for her…
It had to be love.
It had to be love .
And Lilly Lilium was realizing that there was a very real chance she was beginning to return those feelings.
“ Oui ! When I learned mon ange was arriving in Melica, I just knew I had to prepare something divine for her!” Frieda replied, opening the lid of the tray to reveal food so fresh it had to have been cooked while they were on their way to this palace.
“I-I don’t know what that means,” Lilly admitted, looking at the food to try to distract herself. She was right that there had been steak, but it looked to be of a higher quality than any she’d seen before. She believed even Rae and Claire would have been impressed. A long loaf of fresh-baked bread was cut into two, with butter accompanying it on the side. There were also an assortment of vegetables and fruits to balance the meal. Sitting in ice was a bottle of some kind of red liquid to drink, which Lilly hoped wasn’t wine.
Frieda offered a soft smile that melted Lilly’s heart as she dished out the food into neat portions on either side’s plates. “My, you are most adorable,” she teased, facing Lilly directly with a proximity the nun had only ever before wanted with Rae. “It means, ‘my angel,’ mademoiselle Lilly.”
“A-Ah-!” Lilly blushed heavily, burying her face into her hands in an attempt to hide how rosy it was. She certainly felt she didn’t deserve all of the overwhelmingly extravagant displays of affection, but this kind of bullying… “Y-You’re so unfair, you know?”
“Your reactions are most adorable too!”
This kind of treatment was exactly what she’d wanted from Rae. The affection, the teasing, the over the top romance, it was all exactly what she’d dreamed of, and it was being given to her by someone else. She felt conflicted. But at the same time, hadn’t this whole pilgrimage been about loosening her feelings for Rae, trimming her obsession so she didn’t ruin not only Rae and Claire’s relationship, but also the one between Rae and herself?
“Now, I must ask,” Frieda finally took her own seat across the candlelit table from Lilly. The nun lifted her head to face Frieda, still trying to hide her blush as best as she could. “You said you would not wish to talk in public about your pilgrimage, but I simply must know what has brought such a gift to my doorstep.”
“A-Ah…”
Well, that was awkward. Here she was, finally deciding to give in to Frieda’s advances, and then being asked about the one thing that could complicate that beyond all others. She had to answer with something, and she’d already told one lie today. She wished not to double her sin. With a deep breath, she decided to tell the truth.
“Y-You remember Miss Rae and Miss Claire, right?”
“Of course, I would never forget the face of a belle femme ,” Frieda replied with a smile, and Lilly felt as though something inside her tore between being jealous of Rae and Claire and defensive of Rae. Still. She kept her feelings in check as best she could.
“When we fought the Demon Queen, things didn’t… t-they didn’t quite end there. I-I’m not sure I could explain it, but… something tried to erase Claire from history.”
“ Quelle horreur !”
“Uh… Y-Yeah…” Lilly still didn’t quite understand what some of these words meant, but it sounded enough like an exclamation of horror for her to at least slightly guess. “I-In her stead, this thing… it made me take Claire’s place. For two weeks, I-I was Miss Rae’s wife. And it was… i-it was wonderful.”
Frieda’s face dropped to a degree that scared Lilly. She didn’t know if she could describe it as violent, but there was definitely something she wasn’t trying to show.
“B-But we got Miss Claire back, a-and I realized those two weeks… weren’t really real. I-I was never Miss Rae’s wife,” Lilly continued quickly, feeling relief as Frieda started to perk back up. “F-For awhile, I became more forceful in my affection for Miss Rae, but I came to realize something.”
“What did you realize, mon cherie ?”
Lilly took a deep breath.
“If I kept going the way I did, then… M-Miss Rae wouldn’t want me around anymore,” she admitted. “A-And I had trouble with that. So this pilgrimage… I-I’m doing this to get over my feelings for her.”
“Oh, mademoiselle Lilly…” Frieda thought for a moment, then reached a hand across the table for Lilly to take. She did, with some hesitance, and a returning blush. “If you would be agreeable, I would love to help you through this.”
And Lilly did not decline.
After dinner, Lilly did not leave the palace. She did not go to the inn. Instead, she spent the night with Frieda, and slept in the same bed. There was a comfort in the feeling of Frieda’s arms wrapped tight around her, the nun’s face buried in the sleeping woman’s shoulder. She smelled of chestnut and almond, which fit all to well for Lilly. She recalled that when they first met, Frieda had nearly confessed love for her on the spot.
Lilly was glad she didn’t.
If Frieda had confessed then, while Lilly was still in the midst of her obsession, then there was no way she’d have ever given Frieda a chance even if that obsession waned. Instead, it was far later, when Lilly was bettering herself. They had a chance to grow, and now, with a more level head and heart, Lilly could truly take in those feelings and accept them.
The first to say “I love you” was Lilly, there, to the sleeping embodiment of her Spiritual God who could not hear her. And for the first time since she’d started her pilgrimage, Lilly Lilium truly smiled.