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It was cold out here. He regrets coming here instead of just going back to his room. But he was angry. Stressed. Tired. He didn't want to hurt the people he loved just because he couldn't control his emotions.
Realistically he had absolutely overreacted. Everyone was on edge around this time of year. They didn't mean to agitate him. But that didn't stop him from immediately getting irritated and snapping at them.
He was fine. He barely felt the cold anymore. He deserved the pain. After all the things he did. He had no idea how they forgave him. No idea when he had even managed to convince himself that they ever forgave.
It would make a lot more sense if they were just putting up with him to make sure he didn't duck out again. Thomas couldn't function without him. It made sense they would want to keep an eye on him.
And yet. Slowly he had started to believe their words. Their kind smiles. Warm hugs. He knew it didn't make sense. He was anxiety. He was the bad guy. He was horrible. It couldn't be real. But he wasn't logic. It wasn't his job to be right. Just careful.
Careful when it came to Thomas anyway. His own feelings only really mattered when it affected their host as well. He didn't think the imaginary cold of the mindscape could really harm anyone other than the sides.
He was starting to warm up. That wasn't a good sign, was it? When you got so cold you got hot, it was bad. At least he thought so. His mind was slowing down. Getting foggier. He hadn't slept in a while. Hadn't eaten much either. Christmas tended to have that effect on him.
He tried again to sink out. It still didn't work. He had no idea how he had managed to get so lost. By the time he accepted that he should go back he had wandered too far already. He deserved this.
He just hoped that the light sides hadn't realised what he did. He didn't want them wasting their time worrying about something like him. He also didn't want the other dark sides to have anything to do with this. For obvious reasons.
He was getting quite hot now. He knew better than to take off his sweater. Or maybe he should? If he held on to it would it still respawn alongside him? Well, he could also just make a new one when he got back. It would make a quicker death.
Maybe.
Maybe not.
He wasn't sure.
He couldn't find it within himself to care anymore.