Work Text:
Nothing else feels like home than the empty apartment. The wooden floor is cold against his feet and the messy living room is comforting. His music compositions are carelessly thrown on the coffee table, yet his kitchen is pristine clean. It’s been clean ever since Seungcheol moved out and he didn’t have anyone to cook or to cook for.
Jihoon likes to think that he is not in love with Seungcheol, but he knows he’s lying to himself when his heart clenches a little every time he sees Jeonghan and Seungcheol together. He thinks it’s funny, falling for your best friend and all. It was cliche and Jihoon just thinks it’s dumb because out of all the people he could’ve fallen for, it had to be Seungcheol.
He remembers the first time they met. Their friendship hadn’t started out the best, with Seungcheol nearly knocking down Jihoon while running down the hallway. He had been in a rush, not even bothering to help Jihoon pick up his fallen papers while Jihoon, himself, had already been late to class. Somehow it had become a weekly routine. When he finally called the taller out for it, he was met with sheepish smiles and sincere apologies.
Jihoon hates himself for the fact that after three months of becoming close friends, he let the other move in with him. It was then that he knew everything was a mistake. His cheeks would warm when the older did not wear a shirt at home, his heart would beat faster when Seungcheol cooked for him. It was something he learned to get used to.
When Seungcheol had come home one day with all smiles, Jihoon felt a sense of joy burst within him. The feelings had been crushed when the older had told him the reason why he was so happy.
“Yoon Jeonghan and I are going out now Jihoon-ah! I’m so happy, I’ve liked him for a while.”
Jihoon was sure that the pressure on his chest was due to drinking too much water too fast and not of heartbreak. With the heavy feeling in his heart, he congratulated the other, offering weak smiles as the other hummed down the hallway to their shared room. That night Jihoon had lied, saying that he had to go to the music room to finish up a project for his class. Instead, he made his way all the way up to the apartment complex’s roof and wept silently.
Five months of suppressing his feelings later, Seungcheol had told him that he was going to move out. It was during their dinner, with Jeonghan right by his side, smiling at the two of them. Jihoon had forced a smile, his eyes showing everything but happiness, and told him it was his decision. The bright smile Seungcheol had showed him after was enough to give him useless hope, but the genuine smile he had given to Jeonghan ended any of such thoughts.
Seungcheol spent that night packing his clothes, kissing Jeonghan and telling Jihoon how thankful he was for their friendship. Jihoon had laughed bitterly because it sounded like the other was abandoning their friendship forever. Jihoon didn’t know that said relationship was going to take away every ounce of time he had with Seungcheol.
His apartment the next morning had seemed empty and uninviting. Jihoon had wished Seungcheol a goodbye and a good luck on his relationship with Jeonghan, watching them drive away into the sunrise with Jeonghan’s laughing echoing out of the car window. And despite the ache in his heart, Jihoon still admired the smile that was etched on Seungcheol’s face as he drove away with Jihoon’s heart in toll.
His heart stills sinks when he sees Jeonghan and Seungcheol holding hands in the hallways. The way Seungcheol smiles at Jeonghan was enough to set him on the ball of his feet turning away quickly and walking in a different direction. Jihoon thinks he’s greedy for wanting every smile Jeonghan received to be his own instead; the owner of the smiles could be his as well.
It’s a Thursday when things start changing a little. His music composition professor had come up with a project that was to be paired with the dance majors. They would have to take one of their own songs and learn a choreography which would be made by their partner. Unlike the others, Jihoon didn’t groan in protest; in fact, he had a small passion for dancing.
Kwon Soonyoung was his partner’s name. He was bubbly, optimistic, and social. Jihoon had taken a liking to him right away as the other made him feel comfortable in his own skin. He had invited the other over to discuss ideas. Little did he know, the two of them would be talking about something else.
“I don’t know know. I was just so in love with him and for him to just not know made me feel so low,” he mumbled, his hold around the pillow tightened as he carefully watched Soonyoung’s reaction.
The other had his lips pursed and his eyes stared right into Jihoon’s. He opened his mouth to speak.
“Do you still love him?”
The question had not been anticipated. Jihoon’s eyes snapped towards the ground and his mind started questioning himself. He missed seeing Seungcheol around every day, but after waking up to only himself for months he realized that the other’s missing presence had become soothing for him. He didn’t miss the other’s smile as much and he felt relaxed knowing that no one could judge him at home anymore.
“No. No, I don’t,” came his reply, his eyes tearing up, “I’m such a fool.”
He sees Soonyoung shift closer to him from the corner of his eye and he doesn’t stop him. He does, however, flinch a bit, when the other wraps an arm around him and tells him calming words.
“You’re not a fool Lee Jihoon. It’s only natural to fall in love with someone who you spend a significant amount of time with and doesn’t show a sign of rejection. It’s okay to fall in love with someone even if you didn’t know them for a long time. It’s okay,” Soonyoung says with confidence, but his following words lack the punch. “What I do have to ask is: do you think it’s okay to fall in love with someone who has only admired you from afar?”
Jihoon quickly looks up, and he’s met with Soonyoung looking down at his knees and he feels his cheeks warm up. In the pale lighting of the cheap living room light Jihoon purchased, the taller had looked absolutely endearing. His words stumble and he doesn’t know how to answer, but he manages to croak out a simple one.
“I think it’s perfectly okay,” he says quietly, his heart speeding up when the other looks straight at him and smiles.
The two of them don’t even mention the project anymore. Instead, they spend the rest of the night talking about whatever makes them happy and bonding over the mutual liking of old songs. Soonyoung ended up staying the night, both of them falling asleep right on the living room floor with candy wrappers surrounding them.
It’s been a long time since Jihoon had felt warm and fuzzy inside, and he’s glad it with Soonyoung.
Two weeks later, the project is due. As the finished up their performance, gaining applause from both departments, their professors congratulated the on earning a high score. Jihoon feels so proud even with the sweat dripping down his forehead. He feels even better when he glances at Soonyoung and the other is looking directly at him with a smile.
“Good job, Jihoonie.”
The pet name has him burning with affection for the other, as he grabs his hand and pulls him outside of the performance hall and out into the grassy plains of their field. The other is looking at him in confusion before he pulls the other down for a hug, arm tightening around his shoulders and he basks in Soonyoung’s warmth. There’s a pause in movement before he feels arms circling his waist and Jihoon laughs gleefully.
“God, Soonyoung. I think I like you,” he breathes out against the taller’s neck. The hold on his waist strengthens he feels a kiss against his hair.
“Jihoon I love you,” Soonyoung mumbles out, his cheek tinting pink after saying it.
“I know. Give me some time and I promise I’ll love you too.”
Together, the two of the sway in the breeze of autumn. With Jihoon resting his head on Soonyoung’s chest and Soonyoung’s chin fitted right above his head, Jihoon thinks that this is something better than anything he had with Seungcheol. He thinks he’s okay with that.
“Soonyoung! Can you order pizza?” Jihoon yells from the bathroom. He had gone to take a shower while Soonyoung was busy trying to find something amusing to watch on the television.
Their relationship had grown immensely within a month. Soonyoung had spent most of his time at Jihoon’s apartment, even spending the night half the week. Of course, the shorter didn’t mind it one bit, continuously asking the older to stay.
“Of course!” Soonyoung yelled back, dialling the number and placing their order.
Once Jihoon had come out to the living room, he was greeted with the sight of Soonyoung munching on pizza while his eyes focused on the show in front of him. He sat down next to the other, who immediately diverted his attention to him and abandoned his pizza on the coffee table. Soonyoung wiped his hands off with the napkins and pulled Jihoon onto his lap and laughed when the other squeaked.
Jihoon began laughing with him and circled his arms around the other’s neck before placing a kiss on his cheek. He looked around the apartment, noticing the changes. More than half of Soonyoung’s stuff was there. His shoes and his bag were right next to Jihoon’s. In the closet of his bedroom, Soonyoung clothes had fit snuggly where it had been empty and his toothbrush had been right next to Jihoon’s.
Jihoon clenched his jaw before making a decision. He turned to Soonyoung, only to find him looking at him adoringly. He smiled at the older, who grinned back in response making Jihoon’s heart flutter.
“Soonyoung,” he began, “I have an important question.”
“What is it?”
“Would-” the first word came out unconfident, “you like to move in with me?”
He sees the other halt all movement before quickly adding, “You don’t have to if you don’t want to! I’m sorry, I know it’s a little too early to ask.”
Soonyoung beams at him, and buries his face into Jihoon’s neck, “You wouldn’t have to ask me twice.”
Jihoon’s heart is about to jump out of his chest. He laughs and pushes Soonyoung back before kissing him on the lips, pouring out all his love for the other.
“I love you,” he says against the other’s mouth.
He feels the other smile against his lips, “I love you too.”
Jihoon whines as he feels the loss of warmth, snuggling closer to the source of heat. His eyes crack open when he hears a raspy chuckle. Soonyoung is looking at him through half open eyes and even in his sleepy state, he sees all the love behind them.
He pulls himself close to the other, wrapping his arms around Soonyoung’s midsection. He feels the other press a chaste kiss to his forehead and he yawns before sitting up. He stretches his arms before standing up and making his way into the kitchen, smiling when he hears shallow footsteps behind him.
When strong arms wrap around his waist from behind and kisses are being peppered behind his neck, he finally gives in and turns around. He presses a kiss against the corner of Soonyoung’s mouth, laughing when the other shows his displeasure clearly. He grins at him before kissing Soonyoung on the lips seriously this time.
“I love you so much,” the taller mumbles out, sleep evident in his voice making Jihoon become putty in his arms.
The morning is spent with burning omelets and silly pick up lines, but it’s everything to Jihoon. Soonyoung is Jihoon’s kryptonite and he hopes the other knows because Jihoon finds Soonyoung smile much more rewarding than Seungcheol’s and he’s so glad he met him.
“I love you more,” Jihoon says, pressing his body against the other’s.