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Santana was on edge all day, tonight all the glee gang were coming around for a dinner party and of course, Brittany had to go to the university and was busy all day leaving Santana to take care of the preparations for the dinner party including cooking while taking care of their three kids under three.
She just needed to keep everything under control for the next four hours, then Brittany would be home, and Santana would have 2 hours to get herself ready while Brittany got the kids ready.
She had three different slow cookers going and a rice cooker, as much as she wanted to keep the kids out of the areas where everyone would be, so she could keep it clean, she didn’t want to leave the kitchen unattended completely with so many devices. So she set up the large playpen, placing the twin one-year-olds down with a bunch of toys while moving to keep an eye on the three-year-old sitting on the couch with a leapfrog learning system.
“Mami, I wan milk.” The three-year-old boy whined.
“ In Spanish Sweetie. ” Santana gently reminded in Spanish.
“ Mami, I wan milk .” He corrected.
“ Great job Iggy. ” Santana beamed before going to get her son some milk.
She had just finished screwing on the cover of the sippy cup when she heard the front door open and quickly closed.
Santana got excited at the thought of Brittany coming home early couldn’t help but call out.
“Thank God you’re back Babe!”
“Aww, I missed you too Baby.” A voice that was not Brittany responded before laughing.
“Quinn? You’re early.” Santana had to act quickly and grabbed Iggy before he fully ran for the stairs to greet his aunt. Quinn just grinned, hanging up her coat and rushing up the stairs.
“Auntie Quinn! Are we going to play? Did you bring me a treat? ” Iggy asked practically bouncing, his shaggy milk chocolate brown hair bouncing around.
“ Iggy, you know not to ask for gifts. Tell Auntie Quinn you’re sorry. ” Santana sighed.
“Britt told me that she had to go to work because you keep insisting math emergencies exist.” Quinn smiled at the tot before picking him up in a big hug. “So I figured you could use some help.”
“I know they don’t exist, but considering that the board of directors at Columbia want her so much that they literally gave us this place-”
“And if they gave you a multi-million dollar Brownstone to get her to agree to work for them clearly she can set work-life boundaries.” Quinn rolled her eyes.
“Which she has, it's just that a couple of times during the year, they decide it’s an emergency. I just think considering she doesn’t work more than four hours a day and most weeks will work three days if that, that it wouldn’t hurt to go in when they call her begging.”
“They transferred the deed right? This place is yours. They cannot take it if she doesn’t work for them anymore. That’s why I argued for ownership in the negotiations.”
“Well, I wasn’t there for those. But I am glad you’re here. Can you take Iggy down to the playroom and play with him for a bit?”
“Of course. How about we play a game of chutes and ladders?”
“ Auntie Quinn, you gotta say it in Spanish .” He playfully teased.
“Today’s a Spanish day huh? Okay. But you need to help me if I don’t know some words okay?”
“You need to get fluent already. Britt told you, if you aren’t fluent you can’t be their guardian.” Santana rolled her eyes.
“ I am working on it. ” Quinn hissed in Spanish knowing her accent was terrible.
“ It’s good! ” Iggy praised.
“ How are my babies doing? Are you saying Quinn yet ?” Quinn asked carrying Iggy over to the playpen where the twins were. “ Have you been having fun with your siblings? ” Quinn asked Iggy.
“ Nuh-uh, they keep waking me up. ” Iggy dramatically yawned and cuddled into Quinn.
“ They do? Casey and Leon, do you two keep waking up your big brother? ” Quinn reached an arm down to gently pat them. The twins looked like they belonged to two different families, with Casey taking on the physical features of her Latina side, her chocolate eyes and wavy dark locks while Leon looked like a stereotypical Swede with his bright blue eyes and pale blonde hair and skin.
“ They have been waking everyone up. They’re in a sleep regression stage. ” Santana explained.
“What if we watch a movie and-” Quinn paused trying to think of the right words in Spanish. “-get comfy cozy?” She asked in English looking over to Santana to see if she was okay with the offer.
“ That sounds like a great idea. ” Santana offered. “ Why don’t you go get Baby from your bed to cuddle with you and Aunt Quinn? ”
Iggy wiggled trying to get down from Quinn’s arms. She gently laid him down and Santana quickly called out.
“ Do not run on the stairs! ”
“I’ll try and get him to nap. Do you want me to take the twins too?” Quinn asked now that Iggy was no longer listening.
“No, they’ll be fine. I just want to go over everything, make sure since the housekeeper was in yesterday, something hasn’t happened. I don’t trust the Tubbs not to fuck with me.”
“You think the cats are trying to fuck with you?”
“Lord hates me, and always has because Britt cuddles with me and not him. Lady Tubbs hates me because she was bought by Trouty and is loyal to him.”
Iggy came downstairs, both cats trailing him as he dragged a Finding Nemo fleece blanket and carefully held a mini baby doll.
“Come on, let’s go downstairs and watch a movie.” Quinn held out her hand only for Iggy to look at her questionably. “ Right sorry, let’s go downstairs and watch a movie. ” She repeated this time in Spanish. “Does the movie have to be in Spanish?” Quinn looked over to Santana.
“ Up to Iggy. ” Santana shrugged. Usually, they let him what language he wanted to watch stuff in.
“ We can watch it in English so you understand. ” Iggy offered with a sweet smile. Santana wanted to melt because her son was so sweet.
…
Quinn found it adorable how excited Iggy was every time a new song in the film started.
He would dance around like the characters and she knew that she made a mistake of letting him pick a musical to watch to try and lull him to sleep.
She pulled out her phone and sent a quick text to Brittany.
Q: How does this precious, perfect boy know how to dance exactly like a giant evil crab?
Quinn attached the short video of Iggy dancing, moving his hips like the crab on screen was.
B: Because he has his Mama’s skills and his Mami’s sass.
B: Do you think it's a sign he’s gay? San thinks he might be gay.
Quinn wanted to laugh over it because honestly of course Santana was already worrying about this.
Q: Maybe. But I think San is just paranoid because she assumes the worst of the world. So she’s looking for signs of things to worry over as far ahead as she can.
Q: Not without having reason to. Remember when she was trying to figure out if you guys should find a Latino sperm donor?
B: Yeah because she spent three days in an ICE detention centre because they were convinced her US Citizen birth certificate was a fake.
Q: For the record I dunno if Iggy is gay. I think he’s just a natural dancer like you.
B: Same but it doesn’t stop Santana from waking me up at four in the morning listing off all the horrible things that’ll happen if he is.
Q: She needs to be on meds, the amount of fear and worry in her mind cannot be healthy.
B: She’s getting better, but society is making it so hard.
“Auntie Quinn, you’re not watching!” Iggy whined.
“Sorry, Sweetie.”
Q: I’m trying to get him to nap and, he picked Moana to watch.
B: Big mistake. You need to go with an old-school Disney movie like Snow White. They’re too slow for him and he’ll fall asleep.
Q: Too bad he has your movie-watching habits and not Santana’s.
B: I’d kill for any of my kids to fall asleep during the first ten minutes of a movie like San does after even one glass of wine.
Q: Glass of wine? She does it after a cup of coffee.
Q: How is the big math emergency?
B: 😒🔫
Q: Going to be done soon?
B: I’m already done. We each had a section of this huge problem, and the plan is to just add up all the sections but it meant I had to wait around for them to finish enough though my part took me an hour. I’d be home if they didn’t need me to do the merge part.
Q: Poor baby is so smart her smarty pants colleges aren’t smart enough to keep up with her.
Quinn’s phone started to ring then with a Facetime.
“Hey Iggy, Mama’s calling. You want to talk to her?” Quinn asked grinning at how excited he got at the mention of his Mama. Quinn accepted the call and held the phone back so they could both be seen.
“ Hi Mama, we watching Moana. ” Iggy grinned leaning far too close to the phone.
“ I heard. Auntie Quinn showed me a video of you singing and dancing to Shiny. What if you turn off Moana now, we’ll finish it together, and instead you watch Sleeping Beauty? It’s Auntie Quinn’s favorite. ” Brittany suggested.
“ Okay. ” He grinned grabbing the TV remote. “ When you coming home? ”
“ Not until the length of two movies, but you keep being a good boy for Auntie Quinn and Mami. ” Brittany heard a knock on the door to her office and sighed. “Hopefully that’s them, with their parts. I’ll see you soon baby boy. Thank you for coming to help San Q.”
“Always B.”
…
Santana roughly scrubbed at her face with the make-up remover cloth.
This was her third attempt at doing her makeup and she didn’t know why it was so hard for her.
“Need a hand?” Brittany asked leaning on the doorframe to their bedroom.
“Why can’t I do even the most basic things right now?” Santana sighed melting into her wife’s touch as Brittany spun the chair around to face her. She grabbed the eyeliner first.
“You are just nervous because it’s the first time in four years we’re seeing the whole gang, and the last time we saw them we found out they had a betting pool on if we were over or not because you decided for one year, to wait for Kurt and Blaine to wish us a happy anniversary first and they assumed you forgot about it because we weren’t together. This is the first time they’re all meeting the kids and you’re scared. You’re worried they’ll criticize your parenting, or cooking, or anything. But you don’t need to worry. You are an amazing mother. Your cooking is better than most restaurants and I don’t know how you do it, but our house always looks like it came from a design magazine.” Brittany tried to reassure her. “Plus if Kurt, Blaine or Rachel say anything close to negative about you, I will put them in their spot. You are amazing and they’ll all see it.”
“And yet you won’t let me proudly display your Fields Medal.” Santana muttered.
“Because no one knows what it is, and trust me they wouldn’t believe it was as important as it is if they did.” Brittany sighed adding the finishing touches to Santana’s make up. “You want your hair up or down?”
“Down. Right? Or do you think up?”
Brittany could not get over how adorable her wife was.
“Down sounds great.” Brittany reassured her.
“They know you’re a genius, Britt. Everyone knows. We have our home because of your brilliant mind and I am going to tell everyone that. I also really want to display your awards. So can you please tell me where you hid them?”
“I’ll tell you. You won’t be able to reach them, standing on anything we own, but I’ll tell you.” Brittany teased. “And we can display my awards when you let me hang up all the pictures from the commercials.”
“Oh, is that all it’ll take? Fine. Get the photos from your parents, or order new ones the size of a full wall. Turn them into wallpaper. I don’t care. I am immune to embarrassment around those commercials. Your parents got me over that.”
“Damn it. I told them the constant muffin and bagels would be too much.” Brittany huffed.
“Plus changing my outgoing message to Yeasty Yeast Girl, and my contact in their phones, and the T-shirts they had made.”
“They have no patience, they could have gotten years out of those jokes but they blew through them before our first anniversary. They were just too excited for you to legally join the family.” Brittany grinned as she straightened Santana’s hair. She kissed Santana’s shoulder when she was done. “You good with just Quinn helping you get the kids ready while I get ready myself?”
“Yeah. We’re still going with the outfits you picked out last night right?”
“Unless you want to go with something else.” Brittany offered and then regretted it knowing that right now Santana needed fewer options. “But I think they’ll go great with the cute little socks you bought. Can you handle Casey’s hair or do you want me to?”
“I should be able to handle it.”
“Okay, well if you need me just let me know.” Brittany booped Santana’s nose. “I’ll be the one naked in the shower, dripping wet.”
…
Quinn watched as Iggy was wiggling around trying to get out of Santana’s hold. She had her legs wrapped around Iggy tightly as she tried to brush his hair.
The little boy screamed as the brush went through his hair.
Quinn was brushing Leon’s hair before changing him into his outfit.
“If he hates having his hair brushed so much, why don’t you guys just cut it short?”
“No, it’s fine.” Santana argued. She was not going to get into this again, she hated how many people were telling her to cut her son’s hair. Every few months they would trim off the split and dead ends and that was all he needed.
“But if it’s shorter, it won’t tangle as much and it’ll be easier to brush his hair.”
“Q would you give it a rest? Jesus, you sound like my mother. Next, say I should so people don’t think he’s a girl like my dad does.”
Quinn just rolled her eyes. She forgot how Santana gets when stressed.
“ There! All done. See that wasn’t bad Buddy. ” Santana finished giving a quick kiss to Iggy’s cheek. His hair was now brushed back out of his eyes and was a lot neater. “Now Baby Girl, your turn.”
…
Quinn, carrying Leon, went into the Master bedroom where Brittany was doing her hair.
“I thought you were going to talk to San about cutting Iggy’s hair?”
“You didn’t mention it to her, tonight of all nights.” Brittany groaned.
“She was fighting with him to get his hair brushed. He hated it so much.”
“It took me almost three years to get her to agree to small trims to keep his hair healthy. You know the more you push the more she feels cornered and the longer it will take her to come around.” Brittany sighed. “You know how stressed she is about tonight.” She looked over at Leon in the mirror. “ Look at how handsome you are! ”
Quinn let Brittany think she changed the subject and passed the tot over to his mother.
“He is very handsome.” Brittany cooed as Leon smiled and cuddled into her.
“I thought you said you were going to try and talk S into going to therapy?”
Brittany sighed.
“I mentioned it. I’ve been mentioning it since-since our junior year. She doesn’t want to, she didn’t back then and she doesn’t now.”
“Why not? She can express herself to you well enough.”
“Because I get her thought process. The reason she doesn’t want to cut Iggy’s hair has nothing to do with his hair itself and everything to do with if she pretends his hair isn’t growing and needs to be cut, then she can pretend he isn’t growing up so fast. It’s like why since he was two she’s been teaching him his numbers and letters and how to write his name. She wants him to feel at ease in class in a way neither of us were. Is it reasonable to want to keep teaching your kids a few grade levels ahead of their age? Of course not, but she already has workbooks from grades 1 to 5 bought. The fact that school shootings keep happening at an alarming rate are only adding to her fears and making it seem more and more reasonable for her to keep our kids locked up at home and never go out.”
“I didn’t think about the safety at schools…” Quinn admitted, that with Iggy going to pre-K once a week, Santana’s spike in anxiety really made more sense.
“On the back of the required items list was a list of safety tips and measures to go over with the kids, they advised against light-up shoes. Those light-up shoes are his favorites. So no I’m not pushing her to cut his hair, or to go to therapy because right now I know things are close to getting too much. She has always had bad anxiety, she used to hide it with snark and denial but she always had it. It doesn’t help that her dad thinks unless you are so out of touch you need to be committed like the people he sees in the ER, that you just need to suck it up and deal, or that her mom thinks anything can be fixed with a meal and possibly a drink. They don’t believe in therapy. They made her not believe in therapy. And medication for mental illness is something to be ashamed of and avoided because it means you are weak. So please Q, don’t tell her she needs to cut Iggy’s hair or anything like that. Not tonight.”
“And yet you let this dinner party happen.” Quinn quipped.
“Because it's been 4 years since we’ve all been able to be together and for some reason, Santana loves that group of dorks.”
…
Quinn was in the kitchen watching the kids eat while Santana was setting out the dishes in the dining room.
Quinn’s phone started to ring and she saw it was Rachel.
“ Hello Quinn, you’ve been to Santana and Brittany’s place before right? I must have the address wrong, there is no way it’s 308 W 81st. ”
“No, that’s them. There’s a school, the I wanna say Calhoun school, on the corner just a few doors down.”
“That’s where I am but I don’t see a buzzard, let alone which floor or apartment they are in- ”
“You’re outside? Just ring the doorbell. It’s not an apartment, they have the whole Brownstone.” Quinn explained.
“ Oh. ” Quinn wasn’t sure if Rachel thought she had hung up or not but she heard her say to someone with her. “ How the fuck do they of all people have a townhouse practically across from Riverside Park? Santana must be hooking or something. Oh my God they’re probably doing porn. Kurt search Onlyfans. ” Quinn didn’t want to bring it up to Santana or Brittany because she knew if Rachel brought up the house, Santana would quickly explain they got it thanks to Brittany’s genius.
Quinn heard the doorbell ring and watched Santana’s body instantly tense.
Brittany spotted it as well and placed a steadying hand on her wife’s lower back.
“Want me to get it?” She offered.
“No, I’ll get it. Can you set out the rolls?”
“Of course.”
Santana passed the kitchen pausing at a hall mirror to double-check how she looked before rushing down the stairs.
She opened the door smiling at the grouping of Rachel, Kurt, and Blaine.
“Hey guys! Come on in.” Santana stepped back to let them in.
“Santana this place is just-” Kurt was speechless as he looked around the foyer. There was a grand staircase that led upstairs, a balcony that showed part of the sitting room and overlooked the foyer. Kurt spotted the chandelier. “Is that a vintage Tiffany’s?”
“Yeah, it came with the house. The scones in Britt’s office are also Tiffany’s.” Santana shrugged as if that wasn’t amazing.
“How are you renting this place?” Rachel asked.
“Oh, we’re not.” Santana answered simply. “Britt got it from work.”
Before Rachel could question the situation more the doorbell rang again, Santana instantly opened it to reveal Mercedes, Artie and Puck.
“It’s been too long girl!” Mercedes grinned pulling Santana in for a hug. “Five months is too long.” It was just seven months ago that Santana was joining Mercedes in the studio to provide backup tracks as well as feature on some tracks.
“It is. I can’t wait to hear all about your tour.”
“Look, I know routine is important for kids, but we can make it as stable as possible, you guys can have your own bus-”
“Maybe in a few years.” Santana wanted to go back on tour with Mercedes, especially with Britt, but the tour was no place for babies and toddlers. Maybe if they could get their mothers to agree to come.
“You couldn’t have gotten a place with a ramp?” Artie asked from his spot in Puck’s arms as Mercedes unfolded his chair.
“I mean, we didn’t pick this place out Artie, but also we’ve lived here for 7 years and this is the first time you’ve been here.” Santana shrugged. “Don’t unfold that chair just yet, you got fifteen more steps to go up.”
“Is everything at least on one floor?” Puck asked wondering how many times he would need to carry Artie up and down the stairs.
“Oh yeah, the dining room, sitting room and bathroom are all on one floor.”
As soon as she was about to close the door behind Puck she spotted Mike and Tina at the bottom of the steps.
“Mike, great, Britt wants to show you her dance studio, but since that will lead to us losing you both, you need to keep insisting on waiting until after dinner. I already told Britt, but she’s going to get excited when she sees you and forget so you need to remember.” Santana warned him. Mike just grinned.
“Okay, but she told me she had an oak floor with a sprung subfloor…”
Santana sighed seeing how excited he was getting.
“Go upstairs. You’re not allowed below the second floor until after dinner.” Santana muttered with a snap of her fingers and pointed to the stairs.
“He’s like an excited puppy.” Tina mused. “How do you guys have this amazing house? I can’t imagine the owner was fine with the dance studio.”
“Oh, we got this as a signing bonus when Britt agreed to work for Columbia. It’s all in her name so yeah the owner insisted on the dance studio.”
…
Upstairs Kurt was fighting tears as he looked at the sitting room wallpaper.
“This is vintage wallpaper from the 20s and you have cartoon dog stickers stuck to it.” Kurt muttered.
“Hepburn is four how do you not know who the Paw Patrol are?” Brittany asked.
“We do not let her watch TV.” Kurt stressed. “And we certainly don’t let her put stickers on expensive vintage wallpaper.”
“Yeah well, we let our kids be kids. Iggy has a wall in his room that is a dry-erase board so he can express himself.” Brittany shrugged. “But you know, different strokes.” As if hearing his name Iggy came running over, his mouth still covered in plum sauce from his dino nuggets, Quinn quickly behind him with a damp paper towel.
“Mama! I wan cookies now! ” He buried his face in Brittany’s leg and she felt the plum sauce soak through her pants.
“Sorry, he ran off when I tried to wipe his face.” Quinn apologised.
“It’s okay, I think it’s pretty clean now.” Brittany grinned kneeling down to examine his face. It wasn’t 100% clean yet so she gently took the paper towel from Quinn and wiped it. Quinn went back to help with the infants in their high chairs in the kitchen. “Can you say Hi to our guests first? Do you remember Kurt and Blaine? They’re Hepburn’s Daddies.”
“ Hi. ” He whispered shuffling to hide behind his mother’s leg.
“Hola.” Kurt said in painfully bad Spanish.
“Hi.” Blaine bent down to be more on his level. “I love how you guys are raising them in Spanish.”
“I’d be concerned with how it’ll be for them in school. I’m sure it’ll be hard to find Spanish-only schools.” Rachel added appearing in the room now.
“We’re raising them bilingual. Studies show that kids raising bilingually not only have the benefit of knowing a second language fluently but also are more flexible thinkers. Bilingual babies are proven to be smarter and better than monolingual babies. Add to the fact that our kids have my genius brain genes and Santana’s kind, generous and beautiful genes, plus they’re going to be triple threats with their inherited talents so they’re already smarter and better than any other babies too.”
“Britt, your kids don’t have both your and Santana’s DNA.” Rachel rolled her eyes. She did not understand how this woman was a mother when she didn’t know basic biology.
“No, they are biologically both ours.” Brittany corrected her. She wasn’t going to explain how to Rachel because frankly, it was none of her damn business.
Rachel was about to explain that Brittany was probably confusing the terms legally and biologically but was interrupted by Mike.
“Britt!” The other dancer cheered rushing over to the blonde and wrapping her in a tight hug.
“Mike!” Brittany cheered back returning the tight hug.
“Mikey!” Iggy cheered clinging to the man’s legs.
“Iggy!” Mike scooped him up as well. “We should go down to the dance studio and you can show me your awesome tumbling skills!”
“Oh my god yes!” Brittany was so pumped and was ready to lead the way.
“Britt. Dinner first.” Santana reminded her.
“But by the time dinner is done, Ig’ll be in bed…” Brittany pouted.
“ Please Mami, can I show Mikey my tumbles. ” Iggy pouted.
“After dinner and for the rest of tonight, in English okay buddy? Our guests don’t all speak Spanish.”
“Okay.” Iggy seemed fine with the fact that he wouldn’t be tumbling right now.
“Santana, can you please explain to Brittany that your children are not biologically both of yours?” Rachel asked with a deep sigh.
“So you think you know the genetics of our kids, better than their mother?” Santana asked.
“I know science and I know that I know science better than her.”
“Well, you’re wrong and for the record, thinking you know anything other than facial shaving techniques better than Britt is not going to end well.” She pointed out, she was going to get into it but couldn’t because she heard Casey crying in the kitchen. “‘Cuse me.”
“I call bartender!” Puck shouted going over to the drink cart and already pouring a bunch of stuff.
…
Santana had just cleaned up Casey and was bouncing the one-year-old in her arms while Leon happily shoved more puffs in his mouth.
“What’s wrong baby? Is it too loud?” Santana asked gently rubbing her back.
“Mama mama mama.” The baby repeated looking around the room.
“There’s my drink.” Quinn muttered going straight for the counter and picking up the glass of non-alcoholic wine. As soon as Quinn walked by Casey reached for her practically shouting Mama.
“Q stop making my kids think you’re their mother.” Santana sighed. It happened with Iggy too, for some reason, her kids kept calling Quinn mom.
“I’m not actively doing it.” Quinn rolled her eyes. “You just love me too much don’t you Princess?” She took a sip from her glass before setting it back down. “Want me to take her?”
“No, it’s almost time for bed anyways. Mind keeping everyone entertained while Britt and I put ‘em to bed?”
“Sure. Least I can do since I unofficially live here.” Quinn grinned.
“You don’t unofficially live here. This is just your place in the city, like how we call your place, our place in Hartford.”
“Can you stop referring to it that way to your parents, please? Three times I’ve come home to Pierce in my home.”
“I’ll get Britt to pass it on, but once he feels at home somewhere he’ll always get in.” Santana loved her father-in-law, but the whole reason she didn’t have a car was because he borrowed hers one day, without asking and then forgot where he parked it. He just remembered it was between New York and Lima. “Just part of having Dad in your family.”
Quinn looked over at Leon. “How are you still hungry?” The baby just grinned and offered her one of his baby puffs.
“Don’t body shame my son.” Santana frowned.
“I’m not body shaming him, I’m just impressed. A lot of babies are difficult eaters. Like Casey.”
“She’s not difficult, she just has high standards.” Santana defended before looking her daughter in the eye. “This is the woman you keep reaching for and calling Mama?”
Casey just grinned before deciding to shove her hand in her Mami’s mouth.
“Mami! Mama sayed I can haf cookies now!” Iggy yelled as she ran into the room. Santana just looked out into the sitting room where Brittany was talking with Mike and Tina. They made eye contact and Brittany winked. The downside to Iggy growing up was he was at the age where he knew if he said one of them told the other something they would just believe him, which led to some disagreements until they had to face the fact that their baby boy knew how to lie. So now they had to double-check everything.
Santana grabbed the metal tin filled with cookies. “Here, bring this out, Mama’ll open it for you, make sure you ask everyone if they want one too okay?”
“Okay!” He held the tin so carefully as he walked it out. “I gots cookies!” He yelled.
“Serving dessert first?” Quinn teased.
“If a bunch of grown adults can’t control themselves with a single cookie before dinner that’s on them.”
…
Iggy showed off his tumbling skills in the sitting room while his mothers put his brother and sister to bed.
Puck was half drunk already and decided to have tumbling competitions with the boy. If Quinn wasn’t keeping an eye on the men, Puck’s leg would’ve gone through the TV. But she did miss his leg sweeping a lamp off a side table and smashing it on the floor.
Brittany was down after the glass shattering and what sounded like a woman being murdered screaming was heard.
“What happened?” Brittany seemed so calm.
“I broke a lamp. Sorry.” Puck looked sheepish. “We were having a tumbling contest…Iggy won.”
Brittany just looked over to the three-year-old being held far away from the glass by Mike.
“You won? That’s so great!” She gave the little boy a high five. “Don’t worry about the lamp Puck, it was an accident and it’s just a lamp. Came with the house.”
“Just a lamp?” Kurt breathed. “It looked like a piece of art. Judging by the vintage of other things that came with the house I’m sure it was art too.”
“It’s just stuff Kurt. You can’t be precious with stuff when you have kids, or cats.”
While Brittany was cleaning up the glass Santana came down.
“Q, what were you screaming about?”
“That was Kurt.” Quinn defended herself.
“Should’ve guessed, it sounded like when he shredded the Defying Gravity note. Come Iggs, time for bed.”
Iggy gave a quick yell of goodnight to each and every guest, got a kiss from his Mama and his Auntie Quinn.
Soon everyone was gathered in the dining room, plates filled with food.
Rachel was thankful for the plentiful vegan options, five of the nine were vegan.
“This empanadita is delicious. The beyond meat is so flavourful.” Rachel gushed. “Which restaurant did you get to cater?”
“Oh, I cooked, I’m glad you like it though. It’s a modified version of my Abuela’s pastelitos.” Santana smiled.
“Pastelitos?”
“They’re like empanadas, the shapes are different depending on your region. In her town, they were called pastelitos, but my Abuelo grew up calling them pastelillos de Carne, and my dad called them empanadas. It’s a bit like biscuits or gravy. Different cultures call it different stuff.” Santana explained.
“Is everything Dominican?”
“Nope. The chicken is just your regular seasoned roasted chicken. The rice is just regular plain rice. The potatoes are, what does Mom call them babe?” Santana asked looking over to Brittany.
“Loaded mashed potato casserole. San also made my dad’s Tapioca Thousand Layer Cake.” Brittany beamed.
“That is such a difficult dish Santana. You make it often?” Mike asked clearly impressed.
“She makes it every few months ever since she found out it was my dad’s favorite and how disappointed he was that my grandma only makes it for him for Lunar New Year.” Brittany explained.
“It took a few years but I have it perfected now. The first time I made it, I tried steaming it without a wok and it did not go well. Set off the fire alarm in my parent’s kitchen.”
“Your parents' kitchen? How old were you?”
“15?” Santana asked looking over to Brittany for confirmation.
“Yeah, around then.”
“Wait, you could cook like this the entire time you lived with us?” Rachel asked as if understanding what that meant.
“Of course, she could Rachel, remember that romantic dinner she cooked for Dani when she paid for us to leave the loft for four hours?” Kurt rolled his eyes at Rachel. “She just chose not to cook for us.”
“Honestly Santana seeing how great you are as a homemaker really hits home that you simply did not care at all about our shared space in the loft. It’s too bad that you didn’t find your housewife calling back then. You could have saved a lot of time and effort trying to make it as an understudy.”
Brittany and Quinn exchanged a look but kept quiet trying to see if Santana wanted to press it or simply let it drop.
“Rachel come on, it’s been nine years.” Kurt sighed. “Maybe Santana would’ve been better if we tried to make room for her? It wasn’t fair that we expected a third of the rent and she had to sleep on the couch.”
“And for the record, she’s not a housewife.” Mercedes stressed. “She’s a songwriter. She sold songs to like what, ten different artists last year? Not that there is anything wrong with being a housewife, but the term makes it sound like she doesn’t work and she does. When she isn’t working with me, making my songs better with her voice and writing skills, she’s writing songs and selling them off to people like Lizzo.”
“How’s work Tina?” Santana needed all the focus and attention off herself.
She already knew that they were judging her. Her only jobs were gained thanks to Mercedes handing them to her. Even the songs she wrote, she didn’t do alone.
Santana didn’t hear a word Tina said, she just kept thinking about what Rachel said.
She could have saved a lot of time and effort if instead of trying to have a career she just stayed in Lima. Her and Britt wouldn’t have broken up because of the distance, when Britt went to MIT, she could’ve gone with her. Britt wouldn’t have wasted thousands of her blackjack winnings on paying for Santana’s education. She’d still have the college money from her parents.
It was almost like Brittany knew what thoughts were plaguing her wife. She put a hand on Santana’s thigh and gave her a tight squeeze letting her know that she was right there.
“The partners insisted that everyone be able to practice in the ‘big’ states, most of my clients are in Connecticut and New York, but I travel to California and Massachusetts quite a bit.” Quinn explained. “I’m here in the city, like half my time.”
“She’s going to be partner soon too.” Brittany bragged. “The law firm of Gulliver, Coldwater and Fabray.”
“I’m not going to be a partner soon. I have so many years to go.”
“So many.” Santana agreed. “Like three years. She’s a rockstar over there.”
“Best lawyer since Saul Goodman.” Brittany agreed.
…
Unsurprisingly only Brittany and Mike seemed to care about the finer details of the dance studio.
Blaine lost his mind when he saw the recording booth.
“You have an in-home recording studio?”
“It’s just a soundproof booth. I don’t have any of the cool tech, just a microphone that connects to a laptop and a cheap keybaord.”
“Still.”
“Why would you need it though?” Rachel asked. “You never used to be able to play piano.”
“I’ve known piano since I was twelve. Just never saw the point in putting Brad out of a job.”
Mercedes rolled her eyes wondering how many times did she need to explain Santana’s career to her.
“Britt set this up when COVID started. We started isolating really early, just because we were paranoid about what it could do to Iggy while I was still pregnant. But this one-” Santana nudged Mercedes. “Was so invested in me singing on her album that I needed to figure out a way to work but not leave the house.”
“And we figured it out.” Mercedes grinned. “I tried to get the studio to pay for the stuff and have it set up but they said no. So Brittany spent what, a few hours on an online blackjack site? Made more than enough to get a quality mike, all the soundproofing and a team to come and install it. Plus the laptop and everything.”
“Brittany is a blackjack star. If it wasn’t for the fact that when we both go to the same table, I lose like a third of what she makes I think she’d be banned. Online it’s easy, we use the same account, same computer so when I lose thousands it seems like we just keep going on and off streaks.”
“Thousands? Santana, I told you, you have a problem. You shouldn’t be near those sites.” Mercedes scolded.
“And I told you, it’s only a problem if I was touching any of our accounts, Britt regularly transfers money off those sites so for the past 5 years we’ve been playing with house money.” Santana waved her friend off. She was aware that if Brittany wasn’t such a pro they could easily have money issues but she was confident that she only was as careless as she was because she knew it was all play money so to speak.
Across the basement Brittany and Mike were lying down on the dance floor, Mike face down and Brittany face up.
“You are so lucky you know that?” Mike asked in a hushed reverent tone.
“Yeah, I really am.” Brittany grinned like an absolute dork.
“This floor is amazing.”
“Oh, you meant the floor…” Brittany laughed. “Yeah, it’s pretty great. Move around here, you can come to use it whenever.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, I love dancing with you.”
“It’d be fun. Iggy’s got some moves.”
“You should see him in class, he is such a little charmer. It’s just him and three little girls and he shines.” Brittany couldn’t help but grin.
“He’s gonna win all the awards, be the star of his high school glee club. Schools all over will be courting Ignacio Lopez-Pierce.” Mike teased.
“He might not want anything to do with performing. He might just want dance to be a fun hobby for himself.”
“You’re in New York, if you worked with him every day you’d easily be able to get him in music videos and stuff.”
“Yeah, that is never going to happen. San and I agree that kids aren’t meant to have jobs. Their job is to go to school and have fun. If he want to dance? Great it's a fun hobby. Want to perform? Join a club, but if it seems like that is taking too much time from him, not happening.”
“What if Mercedes wanted him as a dancer in a video?”
“Not gonna happen.”
“Really? Even when you do her choreography?”
“None of my kids are working in any job. But if you want to do some choreography, you take the lead with Mercedes’ new album. Go on tour with her.”
“I don’t want to take a job out from under you.”
“You’re not taking it. I’m offering it. Plus I have a job. I’m the math monkey chained to a desk at Columbia, fifteen hours a week. Plus if I can step up around here, San can spend more time writing and creating.”
“Okay. I’ll mention it to Mercedes.” Mike grinned before rolling onto his back and snapping himself to his feet with an impressive body roll jump. “But first-may I have this dance?”
Brittany mimicked his move to get to her feet.
“Hey Google, play Dance Playlist.”
…
Plans were made to meet up in a week or two for those who lived near New York, the date of which would depend on when Brittany or Santana could get their parents to come up to babysit.
Quinn was spending the night.
The mess from the dinner party was all cleaned up.
Santana was lying across Brittany on the couch, nuzzled into her wife’s arms.
Quinn was laid out over the loveseat.
“I’m amazed that you didn’t tear Rachel a new one Britt.” Quinn complimented the blonde.
“I came so close so many times. You didn’t even hear her try to tell me about my kids' genetics.”
“What? You’re joking. She didn’t.”
“She did.” Santana confirmed.
“How could she think that she knew their DNA better than Britt?”
“Because she thinks I’m an idiot.”
“You’re a genius. A certified genius.” Santana tilted her head up a bit to try and make eye contact with her wife. She couldn’t help it, every time she heard Brittany use any phrase tangentially related to insulting her intelligence, she had to correct it and stress that the blonde was a genius. “Look at what-”
Santana was cut off by Brittany kissing her. “I know Babe, I love you.”
“I love you too.” Santana melted further into Brittany’s hold.
“Did you explain how they are 100% both?” Quinn wasn’t sure what answer she’d rather have.
“No, it’s none of her fucking business.” Brittany huffed. “Why should I have to tell her that we used Ignacio’s sperm? So she could try and hurt San later on? Fuck that. She thinks the only right family is her own.”
“Oh, she would throw that in my face all the time.” Santana nodded in agreement.
“Does anyone aside from Puck and I even know about Ignacio?”
“Doubtful.” Brittany tried to think if Santana had mentioned her older brother before.
“If they do it’s not from me. I didn’t have any contact with him for years.” Santana shrugged.
Quinn just hummed in thought. She remembered when she found out about Santana’s brother, it was from a photo hung in the Lopez family home. She passed it, and saw what looked like a teenage boy holding a young Santana. She asked if it was Santana’s cousin or uncle and Santana just said nope, he’s my brother.
Over the next few years, she found out about the tragic tale of Ignacio Lopez, how he clashed with his parents from age thirteen, once he discovered that his parents had lied about some facts, namely that they were not wed by 23 when he was born, but instead were 19. They lived with Alma while Santana’s father did nothing but go to work, go to class, and then sleep. Where Maribel, instead of going to school herself went straight to work, not even getting a full week off after giving birth before going back to work.
It was a long and hard road but Dr. Lopez finished his med school, and when he was a resident, they had moved out into their own home and seven years after having their son, had Santana.
By the time Santana was a teenager she found out the reason why her brother went from a loud presence in her home to a ghost that no one talked about. He started stealing shit just to piss off his parents, first, it was random cheap items from stores, then it grew to cars, then into homes. After the first time he was sentenced to prison, his fate was sealed. He suffered from all the downfalls that come with incarceration. It took Quinn pulling a lot of strings to even find out if he was currently in the system or even alive.
After many phone calls and visits Santana mentioned that she and Britt had started planning for kids.
It was Ignacio who brought up his sperm, pointing out that it was the best way to give the kids Brittany’s smarts and Santana’s everything else. For the low fee of ten grand, he could hire a decent lawyer to get himself released and they could have all the sperm they wanted.
They discussed it, and Brittany loved the idea, this way their kids could have the same features and expressions as Santana. But she also knew it could be weird for Santana.
Surprisingly Santana decided to go for it, she knew from looking at the baby photos that she did resemble a hot girl version of her brother.
When Brittany mentioned having to put their plan on hold while they saved an extra ten grand, Quinn offered her legal services and although everyone agreed, including Ignacio himself that he was guilty as fuck, Quinn was able to argue that since being sentenced to serve out an unprecedented long sentence in an adult prison when he was just fifteen, where he was beaten and had to fight for survival which led to charges being added. She found a program which specialized in helping men like him who were failed by the justice system.
He wasn’t free, but was on probation while living in a group home with strict rules, but also had programs to lead to him becoming a productive functioning member of society.
He had two more years left to go and had even mended his relationship with his parents.
He had called the Lopez house when the commercial first aired, as he had seen it in prison and wanted to make sure his parents didn’t do anything stupid or hurt his sister. Maribel had answered the phone and reassured him that Santana was not being kicked out.
It was Brittany’s idea to name Iggy after him, knowing that they would be calling him Iggy and never his full name but she wanted to honor the big brother that she knew Santana had looked up to. The brother who hadn’t seen or spoken to his sister in ten years, yet called to offer any protection he could over the phone when she was threatened.
…
Quinn was leaning on the kitchen island hiding a smirk in her coffee mug as she watched Santana wince as she sat down at the island. Out in the sitting room, Iggy was sat down playing with his trucks while children’s music filled the room.
“Shut up Q.” The Latina hissed.
“I didn’t say anything.” The blonde laughed.
“I can hear your thoughts. Shut up. It’s not what you think.”
“It’s not what I think? You remember New Year's, about 5 years ago? I watched B spank you and then call you her ‘Good Girl’ and you practically came just from those two words. Then like twenty seconds later you ate me out while B rode my face.”
“She spanked you too.”
“Three swats is not a spanking.” Quinn pointed out. “Especially not compared to the fact that it was three swats with a bare hand but you, you got your ass beaten black and blue with a riding crop. A hot pink one, but still a riding crop.”
“Keep talking Q, this is how you get invited to join another threesome.”
“Who’s getting invited into another threesome?” Brittany asked taking the mug of coffee out of Santana’s hands to drink herself.
“Not Q. She’s smirking because she thinks I was spanked last night.”
“You mean she’s smirking because she knows you were.” Brittany corrected. “Look at how you’re sitting Babe, it’s clear you’re having trouble putting pressure on your amazing spankable ass.”
“I wasn’t spanked. That is for subs and anyone can just look at me and tell I’m a domme.” Santana argued crossing her arms over her chest like a petulant child.
Quinn wanted to point out that she knew how Santana was in bed, they had slept together before, but instead, she took some pity on her.
“You’re right San, you are such a domme.” Quinn deadpanned.
“Only a domme like you can ride my face for an hour straight before literally passing out.” Brittany grinned.
“You two are the worst. Britt, you got the kids?”
“Sure. Go back to bed.” Brittany pressed a kiss to the side of Santana’s head.
As soon as Santana was out of the room Quinn spoke up.
“I can’t tell sometimes if she’s just embarrassed about the fact that she’s bottom or if she thinks she’s a top.”
“Both.” Brittany shrugged. “Usually I just tell her she’s someone who can dom from the bottom and she’s content with that lie. But don’t make fun of her. You know she’s sensitive about it.”
“Her name in high school should’ve been Porceline, not Kurt. She’s fragile.”
“She is my strong brave girl who has armour made of paper.” Brittany nodded before her phone started to buzz.
🧜Cedes: Rachel just stated in the group chat we have without you three, that she thinks the reason you can afford that house is from working on Onlyfans and maybe also Santana being a hooker.
🖤🖤Wifey🖤🖤: Not sure if I should be insulted or flattered that she thinks I could buy a New York townhouse from just sex work.
Britt: I’m starting to think Rachel just wants to fuck San. Between the stripper jokes and this, she really just wants to see San in sexual situations.
🖤🖤Wifey🖤🖤: Plus I caught her going through my underwear drawer when we lived together.
🏴☠️Q: What possible reason did she have for going through your underwear drawer?
🖤🖤Wifey🖤🖤: ‘It was her scented candle drawer first’ In fairness she did pull a candle out of it but I am not confident that some thongs and or bras weren’t missing. But that could have been Lady Hummel.
🧜Cedes: I regret starting this convo. Tina mentioned the house was a signing bonus. Kurt is just complaining about how you don’t know how to treat the insanely nice things you have. Honestly, I think they forget I am so much closer to all of you than them now.
🧜Cedes: Santana you need to show Rachel all the awards you won for song writing. Or just some of the royalty checks.
Britt: I fear poor Hepburn is treated like a doll by Kurt and Blaine. She never seems to be playing or doing anything but sitting still and quiet.
🖤🖤Wifey🖤🖤: I’m going back to sleep. We still on for the meeting on Monday?
🧜Cedes: Yup :) I’ll keep you all posted.
🧜Cedes: Oh now Rachel is trying to get someone to explain genetics to Britt to explain how your kids are not 100% you and San.
Britt: Because the genetic make up of our children is any of her business.
🏴☠️Q: Shit like this is why I donated by egg to Klaine. Well, that and I am a sucker for flattery. Blaine used one of those websites and showed our kids would be 100% aesthetically perfect.
🧜Cedes: No shade but didn’t you have a nose job?
🖤🖤Wifey🖤🖤: She did but she loves to ignore that and instead try and shame others for their own summer surgeries.
🏴☠️Q: It’s been 20 years San. GET OVER IT.