Work Text:
16:47PM
Seungmin's eyes tore from the clock next to his bed, exhaustion clawing through his body. He could hear the distinct noise of the vacuum in the next room, most likely Minho cleaning Han's room, ready for the new year ahead.
They were supposed to be performing on the various TV shows being broadcasted across South Korea, but because of Jeongin's recent injury he received a few weeks prior, the whole group (as a whole) decided that they were going to call it quits and told management that they were all feeling unwell suddenly. Thank goodness for the pre-recorded clips they created days before, and with a little lecture from the management from the phone, they were allowed the day off.
So now, here they were.
Spending New Years Eve with each other.
Alone.
In the dorms.
With no responsibility?
Seungmin scoffed, clicking his pen shut and closing his journal. He groaned, stretching his arms slightly and heaving out a deep sigh, before getting out his bed and tidying his room.
Just as he was about to finish, the door opened and someone came in. Seungmin had finished organising his books. He turned around to find a grump Hyunjin.
"Ah, hyung."
The older boy only seemed to pout even more, trudging towards Seungmin's bed and collapsing onto it straight away.
"Seungminie, I'm in such a dilemma..." The dramatic boy announced, waving his arms and legs up and down to exaggerate his point. Seungmin only crossed his hands, raising a brow at the dramatic drama queen resting on his bed.
"Hyung. I just made my bed 5 minutes ago." The elder didn't seem to care about Seungmin's statement, instead pulling himself upright and deciding to stare at Seungmin.
"You know.. I was planning on making a painting of the 8 of us to celebrate the New Years, but I just can't seem to find the motivation to finish it and it's.. ugh, it's pissing me off!" He complained, making Seungmin groan. His legs worked on his own accord, and Seungmin found himself walking to the grumpy elder.
They sat in a few seconds of silence.
Hyunjin turned his head to Seungmin, making Seungmin look at him curiously.
"Do you think I can finish it?"
"Mhm."
"Are you sure?"
"Hm."
Another pause. This time, the silence lasted longer.
Mumbled words left Hyunjin's mouth.
"..Do you think it'll even be good enough?" A small smile formed on Seungmin's face. Finally, those were the words he was waiting to here.
Placing a hand on Hyunjin's cheek, he looked at him in the eyes.
"Anything and everything you do hyung, will always be good enough."
✧˚ · .
18:32PM
The smell of chicken filled the air, making Seungmin's stomach grumble in hunger. He bit down on the apple in his hand quickly, hoping to quench at least a little bit of his hunger.
He was situated in the living room, the other two people with him were Felix and Jeongin. Jeongin was sitting with him, hand in a cast and shouting so loud Seungmin swore he'd broke a vocal chord. Felix was sitting on the floor near the coffee table, controller in hand and a pillow in his lap.
"Get him get him get him!" Jeongin shouted, Felix accompaining him with the occacional shouts of swear words. Seungmin was scrolling through his phone, eyes sometimes wondering to the TV and seeing whether the duo was winning. Finally, it came to a heed it seemed.
"Ah - NO!"
"SHIT!"
The both screamed together. Seungmin glanced up once again, taking note of the big word that flashed proudly on the screen.
LOSER.
A shiver crept down his spine which made Seungmin freeze in his place slightly.
Him.. is he one?
He didn't complete all of his end goals in time.. some of them were half finished and the one that he desired so much wasn't even close to being achieved. So.. was he a—
"Seungmo!"
He snapped out of his day dream in an instant. Without thinking straight, he headed to the voice that called him without complaint.
The smell of chicken was much more prominent here, and Seungmin grabbed a can of Coke, hoping that it'll restraint his hunger for just a little bit longer.
In the centre of it all, was his hyung, Minho. Seungmin's eyes unconsciously scanned for the other, Jisung. The two of them were two peas in a pod. However, he didn't find the squirrel like guy. Seunmgin waddled to Minho, taking a deep breath of the intoxicating smells surrounding him. Around him was a range of many dishes, all plated nicely and covered to prevent turning cold. Seungmin set his eyes on the pot that sat on the gas, the chicken curry that bubbled within it tempted Seungmin even more.
"Ooo, it our puppy hungry?" A blush coated Seungmin's face, a sound of protest slipped from his mouth as his instincts took over (making him smack Minho on the arm.)
The elder just snickered, turning his attention back to the food.
"Why did you call me hyung?" Seungmin asked, taking a hefty sip of his Coke. Minho resumed cutting the garlic that laid on his cutting board, hand moving in a fast pace as he sliced the garlic quickly.
"Can you go grab Hannie for me? He's in his room and he's been working on a new song. He started working around..." Minho's eyes glanced up to the clock, reading the time.
"1ish I think. It's been 5 hours, I think it's enough for now." Seungmin snickered under his breath, turning around, ready to leave the room.
"I swear, Hannie needs to have Parental Control installed on his laptop so we can shut it down when he over-works." Seungmin retorted, leaving the kitchen, barely able to hear the chuckle that left Minho's lips.
☄. *. ⋆
22:45PM
"Where are you going, hyung?"
Seungmin finished tying his laces, raising from the ground to be met with an intrigued Jeongin. A chuckle left Seungmin's lips, looking around the table for a spare mask.
"Nowhere Innie.. I'm just gonna go get some snacks."
"Should I come with you?" Seungmin grimaced, eyes darting to the boy's cast. Jeongin seemed to notice, looking down and almost instantly, a frown settled on his face. Seungmin didn't allow him to dwell on it for too long, a hand reaching out to pinch the boy's cheek.
"It's okay, you should be taking rest anyway."
"In-ah! Where's my favourite youngster at?!" The obnoxious sound of Changbin filled the dorm, making Seungmin chuckle and Jeongin groan.
"Okay.. I'll get going now." Jeongin gave him a sweet smile, one that made Seungmin's heart race a bit more.
"Alright! Promise me you'll be back before the new year hyung!"
The door shut with a loud thud, any sense of warmth was gone. Turning around, he put his hands in his pockets and started walking, the gravel under his feet churned every time Seungmin took a step.
He's not sure he'll make it back. Before New Years at least.
ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-
23:18PM
He sat close to the water, watching the ships sail under the bridge, and heard as people around him made conversation. Barely an hour was left before the new years and Seungmin didn't feel ready. The bag filled with snacks was gripped tightly in his hands, as he sat there, watching; waiting.
He's not sure what he's waiting for.
Hope? Hope that he's done good in the year?
Pride? Prideful for all the hard work that he's put into his work, his career?
Gratitude? Grateful for all the things he's gained?
He doesn't know.
What he does know for sure though, is that there's this feeling, hidden deep within his chest, that twists and turns in the utmost cruelest of ways. It's rooted deep in his being, and no matter how hard he's tried to shake the feeling away, how hard he's tried to make himself feel happy, cared for, loved for, it always come back.
It always stays.
And he hates it.
He's tried so hard to rid himself of this feeling. Yet no matter what he does, the feeling of longing.. is always there.
Tears formed in his eyes, a he let out a shaky breath. It's ironic really, how he feels. He shouldn't be feeling this, he's an idol.
They're not allowed to fall in love.
With so many people as well.
A sob wracked through his body, threatening to get out. He clenched the plastic bag tight in his hands, closing his eyes he put his head to on his knees, gathering all his strength to force these emotions back into the little box he carved for them especially.
He's so tired, he wishes to sleep here. Lay his body down for rest, uncaring of the time, the weather, anything.
'That seems like a good idea', his mind urged.
Yes. A brilliant one at that.
If he could just close his eyes, slowly.. he'd fall into the mindless void he's taken comfort in and—
Something tugged at his hoddie, a gasp fell from his lips.
"Seungmin?"
Turning around quickly, he was met with familiar eyes and a familiar smell.
"What's wrong?"
Felix.
Taken in a shaky breath, Seungmin wiped the tears away. Turning to Felix he gave him a small smile.
"It's nothing Yongbok."
The elder frowned, moving to sit closer to him.
"It isn't if you're crying."
Seungmin let out a shaky sigh, forcing himself not to look at the boy next to him.
"Why are you here, why aren't you with the rest of them lot?" Felix shrugged his shoulders, replied in a low tone.
"I don't know. I just thought something was missing." Seungmin could feel Felix's gaze on him but he refused to look back. Not when he's in this state.
"Oh. Uhm.. go look for it I'll be back in a while." Seungmin stated, trying his best not to turn to his side. A few moments of stillness crept into the air, Seungmin finally thought that Felix had gone. He let out a huge breath, relief deep in his bones.
"I found what was missing." The younger jumped at the sudden words, body turning to the side instinctively. Felix took control within that moment, hand raising to grab Seungmin's face.
"You."
For a moment, all Seungmin could see was Felix. Everything around him turned to a blur, and Seungmin was sure the culprit was the fresh tears streaming down his face.
"W-what.. no. Felix, you don't need me, just go home," Seungmin stuttered out, closing his eyes and getting to his feet, brushing away Felix's comforting hands. Yet, he was stopped once again, as Felix took grip of Seungmin's wrist. Seungmin could practically feel the worry radiating from Felix's body.
"Just please. Tell me what's wrong. I wanna help you fix it."
The younger took a deep breath, trying his hardest to relax his tense muscles. His sniffles died down, eyes wondering up to the sky. Colours exploded in the sky, red, pink, yellow, green, purple, blue. A hand gently combed through his hair, making Seungmin even more emotional, legs shuffling around.
"Why am I so afraid?"
"What do you mean?" He looked up, teary eyes and a mess, the words stuck in his throat.
This was it. He was about to voice out his biggest insecurity.
"Why am I so afraid to lose you all when you're not even mine?"
Felix's face could only be described as crestfallen, and Seungmin could feel the grip that Felix had on him loosen. Seungmin felt faint, as if all the oxygen had been sucked from his body, and he was close to tumbling backwards into nothing.
Within seconds, Felix's strength had returned, which had resulted into him tugging on Seungmin so hard, that the boy practically fell into the other's lap. Felix let out a wail, hands wrapping around the younger tightly.
"...Seungmin... don't you ever say those words again. Of course we're yours. Haven't you noticed?" Seungmin simply shook his head slowly, as if it was taking him a great amount of time to realise what Felix was saying (which was true.)
"Minnie, didn't you remember? When we had that big conversation last week when we were eating dinner. Chan had just mumbled the words 'God I wish I could date you all' when Minho had given him that extra serving of steak. Don't you remember Changbin jumping from his seat, yelling that the tension within the dorms has been, and I quote 'intolerable' and so that we should all just stop beating around the bush and confess our feelings?" The words coming from Felix's mouth didn't make any sense. No matter how deep Seungmin dug deep into his brain, he couldn't ever recall being present in that conversation. Felix gave out his signature smile, holding Seungmin's hand.
"Well, considering that you weren't present in that moment, I guess I'll do the honour for the rest of them lot. Kim Seungmin." The mention of his full name made the boy perk up in Felix's lap, look at the other intently.
"Would you allow the following ; Bang Chan, Lee Minho, Seo Changbin, Hwang Hyunin, Han Jisung, myself and Yang Jeongin, the pleasure of dating you?"
The whole thing seemed absurd. Who would list out the names of people who would want to date you, nevertheless, in a formal way? The whole situation was laughable, and Seungmin couldn't help let out a wet chuckle at the huge misunderstanding that grew between them.
With all the courage that he had left, Seungmin tightened his grip on Felix's hand, nodding his head slowly before voicing out his answer.
"Yes. Yes, I would love to date you all."
Felix squealed, leaning forward to give Seungmin a big kiss. Seungmin yelped in surprise, his hands raising to wrap around Felix's neck.
The sudden honk of a car was what made them both jump however, and both Seungmin and Felix pulled apart from the kiss, turning around to find the rest of the group.
Jeongin and Hyunjin seemed to be in the back seat of the car, seemingly in a heated argument about something. Jisung was in the middle of it, headphones on and eyes droopy. Chanbing was seemingly placed on the lap on Hyunjin, which resulted in him yelling in happiness and hugging the other boy tightly (seemingly making Hyunjin lose the argument at hand.) Bang Chan was in the drivers seat, looking at the pair with a mixture of worry and relief. They both heard the passenger door slam shut, and out came Lee Minho, hands in his pockets. The boy leaned on the side of the car, subtly slipping his hands into Bang Chan's space in an effort to calm the elder down. When he focused on the two, one of his brows raised.
"Would one of you please explain to me why the fuck you decided to do a little runaway just before New Years and forgot to inform us? Or would I have to use other methods into coaxing that information out of you lot?"
Seungmin and Felix turned to look at eachother; Seungmin a blushing mess, and Felix a cheeky smile.
God, they were in so much trouble (mainly Seungmin.)
'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'
Felix seemed to not know the word 'patience' it seemed, as, as soon as they were squished into the car, he told the rest of the group what Seungmin had just confessed to him. Throughout the whole time, the car was filled with shrieks of confusion and shock, and Seungmin was trying his best to hide himself with the sleeves of his hoodie. The whole confession seemed to even wake up a sleepy Jisung, and the boy was currently staring at Seungmin with something someone can only akin to guilt.
Suddenly, Seungmin was snatched from his place in Felix's lap to somehow making his way to Jeongin's lap. The younger boy looked at him with an agonised face, as if the whole confession seemed to physically hurt him.
"Hyung, was that why you were leaving? You weren't really going to get snacks you just.. felt like you couldn't stand staying in the dorms without knowing we're yours?" The silence that came with that statement scared Seungmin, as he knew he was in the spotlight. He was the one needing to speak. A hand slipped onto his thigh and squeezed it tight, making Seungmin relax slightly.
"I guess.. I think I hated the idea that the people I was celebrating New Years with were the people I loved so much, so much more than sibling or family love, that it scared me. I couldn't.. I couldn't reassure the small part in my brain that just begged since the beginning of the year to confess my love. And, I know, it sounds stupid, but, because we were spending New Years in the dorms and not going around and performing.. it just made the fact that I was a coward even more unbearable, like it was being shoved in my face. 'Oh look, Seungmin can't get confess his love?' 'Look at you thinking you've achieved something in this year when you couldn't even saying the words I love you'.. I uhm.. I don't know I guess that's what was going on in my head.."
Even more silence dawned on the group as they all took in the weight of Seungmin's words. A laugh in the front made all the attention shift to Minho, who was looking at Seungmin.
"Looks like our puppy got a bit confused guys. I guess we have to show him how much we really love him."
At that the sound of people yelling 'Happy New Years' took over the silence. Seungmin's eyes wondered to the time in front of him.
12:00AM.
It's a New Years.
Changbin turned to look at Seungmin, holding Seungmin's face as he would like a baby.
"Happy New Year Seungminie." Before Seungmin could realise what was about to happen, Changbin locked his lips on Seungmins making Seungmin whine in happiness.
"Hey! I wanna kiss him too!" Jisung shouted from next to him, and Seungmin could feel the boy's hand slipping to wrap around his waist pulling him softly.
"You all can do what you want with him now, but me and Minho want him for a few minutes before dinner." spoke (once again) from the front. Instead, it was the driver, Chan, who announced the statement. As soon as Changbin broke the kiss off, Seungmin only got a moments breath, before Han was tugging at his waist impatiently, pulling him to face him and kissing his lips greedily.
Yeah.
This year is going to be the best year in Seungmin's books.
('Hey! Shouldn't you let your elders first, Jisung?' shouted Hyunjin.)
('I really wanna kiss hyung too..' mumbled Jeongin from behind him.)
('Hah! I'll be having him before the rest of you can even eat dinner!' yelled Minho from the front seat, which made the rest of the group protest in anger, Seungmin blush in embarrassment, and Chan nodding his head in agreement.)