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You shuffled on your feet, staring into the sky. It was cold, although you hadn’t expected such weather. The forecast said otherwise as well. You would have planned what you prepared for another day if you knew that it was going to be so chilly. To add to that, you were on the terrace, where the wind blew effortlessly.Your cheeks flushed out of embarrassment. You were regretting everything all at once. The confidence you had was quickly drained out of you.
The image of your companion disturbed because of the air made you groan, with a mix of a whine.
Maybe if he canceled —
“Y/n?”
Oh dear.
You sucked in a sharp breath as you turned around, meeting eyes with Xiao. His dark, green hair swayed majestically, so smoothly. He wore a black sweatshirt with some cargo pants, paired with some platforms. He let out a pant, as though he had run to you. Maybe… You quickly discarded the incomplete thought. It was late, and nearing midnight. He probably just wanted to go home to his family. Yeah, that’s it. you assured yourself. You had to be swift, and not be distracted by the mere beauty of your friend. But good God, he looked ethereal.
“Hey… I’m sorry for calling you late. It’ll be quick.” you apologized, offering him a small smile. He blinked, nodding before walking up to you. “It’s fine.” he dismissed, but it didn’t do much to assure you. It was selfish to call him on New Year’s Eve. He had people to come home to — just because you were spending your night alone, it didn’t mean you could just drag people into similar situations. Xiao’s gaze flickered over to you, and it did not take him long to read you like a book. “I said it’s fine. Don’t overthink it.” he repeated, firm in his words with a touch of gentleness. You shied away from his gorgeous amber eyes, just out of a pure lack of confidence and will. You hated being tempted so easily by his mere voice. The simple emotion he offered shouldn’t have made your heart leap. There were so many people best suited for him, good people. You weren’t, and perhaps would never, be one of those people. It would only hurt you more if you continued to fall even harder for him.
Xiao, slightly frowning and offset by your unusual silence, nudged your shoulder. “Is something wrong?” he asked, finally being able to look into your eyes again. Though this time, they were a bit glossy with sadness. It was evident, no matter how hard you tried to conceal it. “Honestly?” you mumbled, fidgeting with your hands. You were so stupid for opening up to him. It was the exact opposite of what you told yourself to do. But it was so hard to resist. You wanted to pour your heart out to him.
“I was lonely. I didn’t wanna be alone again. Not tonight.” you sniffed, glancing at your watch before looking back to the star-filled sky. It was 10 minutes to midnight. 600 seconds until another new year.
You flinched at some faint contact. Your eyes darted down, where Xiao’s had brushed against yours. He was never a guy that enjoyed contact himself. But he was willing — just for tonight.
With no words, your hands intertwined. His slim but steady thumb rubbed shapes onto the back of your palm. You could feel your heart racing, almost painfully. Your heartbeat echoed in your ears, and it was probably loud enough for Xiao’s sharp sense of hearing. He let out a breathy sigh, which kind of surprised you. He usually was the one to avoid such things, and whenever he tolerated it, a small hue of red would rest on his ears.
You quickly glanced up to where his ears were, and you gently smiled at his cherry-tinted earlobe.
It was only 5 more minutes until midnight. You had so much to say. If you didn’t tell Xiao soon, then maybe… you would never have the chance to do so. You would never have a chance. The next year, you’d be cooped up in your apartment, throwing a pity party for yourself.
“I can’t believe this year is already over.” you found yourself saying, a small laugh leaving your tight throat. Xiao gave you a quick but comforting squeeze from his hand. You both met eyes once more, and from that moment onward, everything else was lost to oblivion. Only the faint chatter in the background.
“Even so...” Xiao trailed off, his lips pursed into a straight line as he searched for words. He then continued, “This year was meaningful. Perhaps more so than any other.”
You could relate to that. You met so many new people, and so many things happened in the span of 12 months. But the best thing that happened to you was Xiao . And he forever would be.
You nodded in agreement, careful not to slip up and confess your thoughts. After a moment of observing you, he let out another sigh, though it was heavier than the other this time. “Something is on your mind,” he calmly noted. You held in a wince at his effortless deduction. “Is it that obvious?” you laughed, hoping to change the mood by being a bit humorous. But alas, nothing went past Xiao.
He patiently waited for you to speak up. You gulped, remembering that midnight was approaching rapidly. You only had one shot. But you just couldn’t muster up the courage.
His gentle eyes held such a depth you couldn’t possibly understand. Just as people often said: “ The eyes are the gate to the soul.”
Just how beautiful Xiao’s soul must’ve been. It would be weary, in some way, but ever so magnificent. If you were to ever get a visual of it — if that even was possible — it would look greater than whatever you would’ve envisioned.
You desperately wanted that voice of yours to speak up. You wanted to shout at the top of your lungs: “ I love you!”
But alas, fear takes hold of the best in everyone.
In another moment of silence, you gazed at the happy families and crowds below, filling the streets with glee and laughter. You envied it dearly. You could only wish to do such a thing with another person.
There remained only two minutes.
You weren’t going to confess. You’d be alone, for you could never love anyone in the way you loved Xiao.
“Can I say something, Y/n?”
Goodness, your name leaving his mouth made you fall head-over-heels. You were down bad for him, and there was no possibility of ever getting back up.
“Yeah.” you said breathlessly, feeling your hand go limp in his grasp. His palms were so warm. There was nothing more that you would love to do than to just hug the life out of him, especially considering the weather. He was always so warm. You loved that. You loved the heat he radiated, as though he was the sun himself. He carried himself otherwise, but you knew his real self.
Xiao’s face lightly scrunched as he once more searched for the right words with such motivation — in a way you hadn’t seen before. Another side of him that he willingly shared with you. It made you a bit emotional.
The crowd had begun to start counting down from the last minute.
“You are a thief.” he said, a wrinkle or two appearing by his furrowed eyebrows. You couldn’t understand what he meant, but you had automatically assumed negatively. You were not a literal thief, you both knew that. So what ever in Liyue did he mean?
“47… 46… 45…”
“You have stolen from me… somehow, multiple times. And you always take the same thing.” he huffed, but not in frustration. In embarrassment. But he remained steadfast in his words, emotion flowing in them like a river. He took another pause to figure out what to say next, and you listened. There was not a single moment where your mind drifted off.
“30… 29… 28…”
He groaned, pulling up a free hand to cover some of his face. “Damn it. I don’t know what to say.” he muttered to himself.
“ 22… 21… 20…”
You assured him, “It’s alright.”
Unbeknownst to you, what he had to say was something he could not express in words. There was, perhaps, one thing that could. A bit dramatic, but Xiao was up for it. Just for you.
He pulled his hand from yours, moving it to hesitantly hover over your cheek. The same occurred with the other one.
You gazed into his eyes, now unbothered by how little time was left in the year. Your focus was on Xiao, and nothing else. Again, with no words that needed to be said, you once more assured him that you didn’t mind. With that look on your face enough as approval, his hands finally rested, stroking your skin gently.
You leaned into his touch, relishing in his warmth.
“ 10… 9… 8…”
Xiao finally found the words. He was not too late after all.
“You have stolen my heart.”
Your eyes widened in shock, and for that moment, time stopped. The countdown to another year halted, and it was just for the two of you.
After a minute or two of silence, you laughed, wiping away the tears that began to brew. Xiao was worried at first, considering that you laughed after his confession, but relaxed when you immediately hugged him.
“Xiao, I love you, I love you, I love you! ” you exclaimed, hiding your face in the crook of his shoulder. His arms gently wrapped around your waist, a small sigh of relief leaving his lips, followed by a happy smile. “Me too.” he breathed, resting his head atop your shoulder. His hands carefully clutched your shirt, and he didn’t move an inch, never wanting to let go of you. And of course, you didn’t either. So the two of you simply stood in each other’s embrace, content to just do that. There was nothing that could separate you, and that was perfectly alright.
Finally, time resumed, as though it had been waiting for you both to finally confess.
“ 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… Happy New Year!!”
The crowd shouted and cheered, and fireworks bursted into the sky, brightening up the scenery below. Xiao and you finally split to look at the light show, although still linked through your intertwined hands. You glanced at him, smiling as his eyebrows furrowed a bit. “Too loud?” you guessed, to which the boy nodded. You tugged him to the exit, leading him away from the scene, “C’mon, let’s get back inside.”
He nodded, another smile adorning his face. Another year with you would be a good one.
Happy New Year, Y/n.
As though you heard his thoughts, you paused for a moment, like you had forgotten something. You quickly pressed your lips against Xiao’s cheek, giggling like a little child. “Happy New Year, Xiao!” you said cheerfully. He immediately turned red, bashfully looking away and avoiding your gaze. His heart might as well jump out of his chest considering how fast it was beating. But he could practically hear yours too, in sync with his.
You both walked away hand in hand, no longer cold and wishing for time to stop.