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It was a beautiful day out, the birds were chirping, the flowers were blooming and P1neqpple just got hit in the face with a rusted piece of trash from the blown up building he was across from.
“OW YOU ASSHAT!” P1neqpple screamed at the attacker.
The attacker, of course, being Moey. The semi known vigilante with powers very useful in her line of work. Said powers being able to master any fucking weapon. Which can come extremely handy at many points in a fight. Which is rather annoying for people like P1neqpple seeing as how he became the victim of said power rather quickly
Moey just smirked as P1neqpple melted the metal as soon as it came in contact with his cheek, you know as you do.
“Well maybe you shouldn't have blown up a building if you didn’t want to get hurt” Moey replied smugly.
That seemed a bit far…
“Well maybe I wouldn’t have gotten hurt in the first place if you just minded your own gods damned business.” P1neqpple retaliated rather rudely, which was kind of his job as the villain in this scenario, and also he could not even give two fucks!
Moey just sighed and continued to throw things at P1neqpple who was prepared this time so he was able to melt the metals before any damage could be dealt.
It was a few minutes before something interesting occured (Aka something that isn’t just P1neqpple getting impaled with rusted chunks of metal). It decided to appear magically in the forms of two people joining the fray. The people in question being an exceptionally cool vigilante, Opus, and a not so cool villain, Phobos. (Depending on who’s point of view you're looking at)
“What happened here?” Phobos questioned, jumping from a building which was still partially intact before joining P1neqpple.
“Blew up a building and Moey decided it was her problem now instead of minding her own gods damned business.” P1neqpple said bitterly, crossing his arms.
“Oh TM ” was all Phobos said.
Opus joined Moey with a stupid smile on her face like who even sees a fight with most definitely dead people under the collapsed buildings and just smiles?!?
Fuckin psychopath they are.
“What seems to be the problem here, Moey?” Opus asked with a bit too much cheer.
“Villains and their need to ruin a good day.” Moey replied more loudly than necessary.
“I FUCKING HEARD THAT!” P1neqpple shouted from across the street. While Phobos was trying to hold back a laugh. P1neqpple then shot a glare at the other villain but they just smiled.
While as funny as that was (it really wasn’t but whatever) Opus just frowned and whispered to Moey who was having the time of her life “Moey you know I don’t do close range combat.”
Moey just turned to her and whispered “you’ll be fine it’s not like they’ll be able to come close enough to attack. This whole time pineapple wasn't even able to step foot on the road so we got this.” Moey said the last part with confidence.
“So you ready?” Moey asked Opus, already getting ready to throw her knives.
Opus just smiled and took out their keyboard, turning it on and nodded to Moey.
They turned to Phobos and P1neqpple who were talking about this weird song from a random musical about these women shit talking about their ex? Moey just didn’t question it as she threw her knife. And in Moey fashion it didn’t miss and hit the very damaged lamp post between Phobos and P1neqpple. It was meant as a warning shot and it worked. P1neqpple jumped back clenching his shirt where his heart is. While Phobos just stumbled back a bit before turning to face the vigilantes. And once P1neqpple composed himself he glared at the vigilantes.
“Oh you’ll regret that.” P1neqpple promised As he pulled out his spear that was attached to his back. He gripped it tightly, getting in position to strike.
Phobos seemed to notice everyone ready to fight and grabbed ‘Z Pointy Stick’ as P1neqpple dubbed it. Though It was just a baton that has a pointy top but it is great for stabbing 10/10!
The vigilantes watched as Phobos got in position to attack while P1neqpple just stared at Moey with the look of death on his eye (not like anyone knew because of the pineapple masquerade like mask he‘s wearing) and if looks could kill the vigilante would've dropped dead.
The four just stood there in a sort of stand still but no one dared to move.
“Are you just gonna stand there like a wet tissue or are you ‘gonna make me regret it’ like you said?” Moey said and sounded rather bored.
P1neqpple just smirked and said “ fine ! ” Then turned to opus and spat acid at her. Opus barely had time to react as two strings of yellowish green acid race across the street straight towards Opus face. Opus with little time they had held up the only shield they had. That being the cheap plastic cat keyboard. . .
The look of horror that flashes across Opus' face when she realizes what happened and as quickly as she could she dropped the keyboard.
The keyboard didn’t melt.
The keyboard didn’t melt and Opus was unharmed.
‘Well Shit’ P1neqpple thought.
Opus picked up the keyboard trying to avoid the acid everywhere and it was fine besides the screws in the back but other than that it was fine. Opus tried a few of the keys and sighed, her shoulders dropping and the color on her face returned.
“Well that was a little rude wasn’t it?” Opus asked while starting up a song on the keyboard. And just like that-
The real fight was on.
“You take music bitch and I’ll get wannabe Batman.” P1neqpple told Phobos like an asshole . But at this point P1neqpple was just pissed and wanted to get to fighting already.
Phobos just nodded and ran to ‘music bitch’ readying their baton to hit her. While P1neqpple went to fight ‘wannabe Batman’. ( It’s like 2 am when I wrote that )
Opus jumped out of the way of the incoming baton. Careful for Phobos not to touch her while she played a fearful song on the keyboard. It caused Phobos to miss the second swing. And while Phobos was trying to compose themselves Opus took the opportunity to bash the keyboard against the villain's head. The keyboard didn’t break (like what the hell is this thing indestructible?!) but It did make Phobos tumble to the ground while clenching their head. Not before getting a good hit on Opus leg before going down. Opus hissed as the baton stabbed into her leg before jumping back.
“OW! What was that for!” Phobos said while rubbing their head where the keyboard hit.
“You tried attacking me first! What did you want me to do?! stand there while you stab me?!” Opus exclamation. Looking down at the villain
“Wellllll…” was all Phobos said, sounding a little sheepish.
“Of course.” Opus said, sounding like a tired mom.
A good minute passed while the villain and vigilante just stared at each other. They both didn’t say anything while Phobos kept rubbing their head right where the keyboard smacked them.
“I really don’t want to fight you can we like. . . Just watch Moey and pineapple kill each other?” Opus asked Phobos while jabbing her thumb over her shoulder where the other two were fighting.
“I would actually like to watch that!” The villain agreed getting in a comfortable position on the very beat up sidewalk.
Opus carefully sat down next to Phobos being careful of her leg. They both watched as various weapons and acid were flying everywhere as the villain and vigilante danced.
P1neqpple was trying so hard to just murder this vigilante but every time he got close enough to stab Moey she just moves out of the way. And when P1neqpple tries to melt the vigilante down to nothing she throws a knife AND IT JUST TARGETS THAT INSTEAD! Honestly P1neqpple is getting really fed up with this back and forth. And it seems like Moey is as well because their throws are getting more and more aggressive and it looks like they are aiming more to kill then the taunting throws they were doing earlier.
At some point P1neqpple finally got close enough to stab Moey with the spear while the vigilante was distracted. It got Moey’s side pretty good before the vigilante turned towards P1neqpple and threw her last knife.
It hit P1neqpple right in the eye.
“OOOooOooO!” Phobos said somewhere behind the two. P1neqpple in response flipped them off. Which in his opinion was deserved.
The villain pulled the knife out and melted it. “You are the fucking worst ! I swear you are so dea- ” before P1neqpple could finish that threat sirens could be heard in the distance getting louder by the second.
“IT'S THE PO-LICE!” Opus screamed quickly standing up and already running off. To be fair it was more like limping off because of the stab wound on her leg. Phobos was quick to stand as well heading off in the opposite direction of where Opus went.
“Well guess our times up till next time pineapple!” Moey said while holding their side with one hand and giving a mocking salute in the other. Then ran off in the direction Opus went.
“IT'S P1NEQPPLE YOU ASSHOLE AND YOU'RE DEAD NEXT TIME I SEE YOU MARK MY WORDS! AND THE JOKES ON YOU I ALREADY COULDN'T SEE OUT OF THAT EYE SO HA!” P1neqpple screamed at the runaway vigilante while giving the finger with the hand not covering the hole in the pineapple mask where the bloody eye is.
When the sirens sounded close P1neqpple finally decided to leave where Phobos was waiting for them in the alleyway that connected to the street over. Phobos looked P1neqpple up and down who was a right mess in Phobos opinion. And before Phobos could voice this thought P1neqpple butted in.
“ Not a Damn Word.” P1neqpple Said sternly walking off to where he left his stuff.
“Wasn’t gonna say anything.”
It was silent for a moment before Phobos just had to ruin it
“But I guess you could say you and Moey didn’t see eye to eye…”
“Die.”
“Oh TM .”