Chapter Text
I can't win, the cyborg bitterly thought, grinding his teeth together. His processors were running on maximum capacity trying to find an opening, but it was hopeless. He had already lost an arm and an eye, and his legs had sustained too much damage to move at full speed.
“What's wrong, Demon? Weren't you going to incinerate me?” The man laughed with no humor, his eyes filled with contempt. He was the Caped Darkness, the most powerful villain on Earth. Genos hoped the stories of him destroying anything with one punch were an exaggeration but he was quickly proven wrong: just the shock wave of his attack was enough to damage his body to this extend.
“I have someone more important than you to defeat, I'm not falling here.” The blonde barked angrily before charging in, desperation overriding his defensive protocols. His punch missed, and he felt a hand grab him by the ankle. He braced himself for another amputation but was instead thrown onto the ground.
“What do you mean more important?” His enemy inquired in a threatening tone, still holding Genos by the leg. “I'm the most dangerous villain there is, everyone knows my name. Who would be more important to you, hero?”.
Can I buy time with this? Would that even help? Genos' visual interface showed him various calculations running and he gulped nervously. There must be a way, nobody is fucking invincible . “I... I'm on a quest, I have a very important enemy to defeat.”
“Ah, and what has this enemy done to you? Has he leveled entire cities? Conquered armies? Destroyed otherwordly abominations in one attack?” the caped man huffed in annoyance, shaking Genos' leg for emphasis.
The cyborg controlled his first urge to kick the Caped Darkness in the face. Gods what a ridiculous name. He licked his lips, carefully picking his words “Look, I just have someone higher on my priority list. It's not you, it's jus-”
Before Genos could finish the villain threw him towards a pile of scrap. He had put no actual strength in it and the cyborg was more shocked than injured by the action. “What do you mean 'it's not me'? I'm the top of the heroes' association hit list! I was voted the 'number one villain I'd marry'! It's always about me!” He marched up to where the hero was lying down in a daze. “Who is this other villain?” he glared down, crossing his arms.
Genos heard a beep inside his head, a green window appearing in his visual interface. He smirked, “Oh, I'm sure you'd like to know”. In one swift movement he got up from the ground, aiming his knee directly at the other man's middle section.
The villain seemed taken back, blinking in surprise. The cyborg did not even see him react, much less what knocked him back onto the dirt pile. “Look, just tell me who this other guy is and I'm going to show you he's nothing. You'll be so impressed!” He waved his arms for emphasis.
Genos grinded his teeth in annoyance and blinked the green information window open. He did not know that option was even included in his database of battle strategies to begin with, but there it was:
UDT.DATA SUGGESTED ACTION >> FLIRT
He blinked a few more times in confusion, wondering if his processors were malfunctioning. But no, no matter how many times he refreshed it the word was still there, taunting him: FLIRT.
The teen groaned in frustration and helplessness, feeling betrayed by his own artificial parts. “What, I didn't push you that hard.” The villain crossed his arms again, glaring down. “Or... did I? Are you okay down there?”. He bent down, peeking curiously at his opponent's face. “Demon, hello?”
Genos prodded his database, asking about detonating his own core. It helpfully replied that the Caped Darkness was recorded to have survived stronger blasts with 100% integrity. He quietly told the database to go fuck itself and got a simple INPUT NOT FOUND for his trouble.
Covering his face with his hand, he thought about how to do this. “Alright, listen up.” He moved his hand away and looked at the bald man in front of him. “I'm in no condition to talk right now and really need repairs. How about we meet up later and finish this chat?” Genos tried really hard to tell his face plates to stop glaring but his systems seemed to be against him today.
Caped Darkness narrowed his eyes suspiciously, “Make no mistake Demon Cyborg, you're my prey, why would I let you go?”
Of course, it's just never that easy... Genos' screen flickered with the FLIRT option again and he caught himself wondering if eyes were really that important. “Caped Darkness”, the cyborg grit out, absolutely hating the name, “your attacks are too powerful, I really am in dire need of repairs. Wouldn't your victory over my nemesis be empty if you had nobody to show it to?”
The villain seemed deep in thought for a moment. “I guess that is true... where's your repair shop?”
“...wha?”
“I'll take you there, it'll be a lot faster than walking.” He seemed excited, a smile tugging at his lips.
Genos realized his mouth was open and closed it with an audible click. He scrambled for an answer, not used to this much... socialization. Fire jets were his usual reply to chatty opponents.
UDT. DATA SUGGESTS >> EXCHANGING CONTACT INFORMATION INCREASES THE CHANCES OF FUTURE DATES ;)
The teen grit his teeth, measuring his words carefully. “That's... not necessary. I'm sure you have more pressing issues to attend?” He tried, hoping his luck would be more helpful than his artificial parts.
“Not really, there's not much else to do here. Do you live in a workshop, like a car? Do you sleep there? Do you sleep at all?” The villain blabbed on, his cheerful tone the complete opposite of his intimidating demeanor earlier.
Genos quietly calculated the odds of beating the man in front of him to a pulp a few more times, getting the same zero percent result in all attempts. He signed in resignation. “What about I give you my number and we meet up later? I'll tell you what you want to know.”
The Caped Darkness face went blank for a moment and Genos wondered if he had committed a dire mistake. His interface cheerfully announced that this was the correct way to a man's heart and he felt both relieved and very angry.
Then a small smile appeared on the villain's face, just a gentle tug of lips. “That sounds great! Hand me your phone!”
The cyborg quietly opened a compartment between his torso's armor plates and picked up his phone, handing it to the other man. He had innocently hoped to give him a fake number but accepted that things were simply not going to go his way today. I mean, he can't possibly have nothing else to do, right? Maybe he'll find some other hero to harass and leave me be...
“This is so much fun”, the older man exclaimed with glee, “I have never been on a date before!”
His interface was blinking with a bright green SUCCESS message but the blonde had the creeping feeling he had been utterly and completely defeated.