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The stadium was loud, filled with cries and desperate cheers. Everyone running around and getting in Rin’s way. He just wanted to fight alone, then why? What was this feeling overflowing his chest to the brim? He looked around, the whole Blue Lock team filled his vision, every player and he was in the center of it all, his back facing Rin with the number 11 and surname ‘Isagi’ printed on it. It was strange. Rin wasn’t alone anymore. These emotions.
Disgusting.
He didn’t need this, not those lukewarm teammates, support from the audience, and definitely not Isagi Yoichi. He will crush them all, turn the whole playfield into pieces, starting with himself.
After that, time became irrelevant to Rin. His soul and body were concentrated solely on his goal, he couldn’t hear anyone else. It was as if his mind flew to another place or even universe. Itoshi Rin hit the zone. The game passed in a blink of an eye for him, and he came back when the whistle, indicating the end of a match, rang in his ears. It was all he was able to do. He didn’t win.
Everything else was a blur. His lips hurt from the bite, his own teeth sinking into them to the point of bleeding.
“Rin,” the voice called him, the one he knew too well, “I was wrong.”
He raised his head and saw his brother standing in all his glory. A shadow of hope sparked in him. Was this the moment he wished for all these years? The approval that seemed like a stupid childish dream at this point was finally right in front of him.
Oh, how wrong he was.
The light he thought he had seen was yet another kick to his guts. Painful and nostalgic. Of course, it was Isagi who caught his brother’s attention. Rin himself couldn’t argue with this fact: Blue Lock’s number 11, Isagi Yoichi, became the star of the show, stealing all the spotlight that was left. He hated him.
Still, this idiot never left his mind, not since that game from the second selection. Even after the U-20 match and their victory Rin was only able to sit alone on the shore of a sea and think. A lot. He revised the whole game, his success against Sae, and how Isagi was right there, at that moment to score the final goal. There was only one thing he couldn’t understand yet. Himself. What was that side of his? Those strange feelings that crept down on him and his heart.
Isagi. He never left him alone. When Rin rewatched his play, he’d have been an idiot not to notice it, Isagi was always near him no matter where he was, or how fast Rin ran. The boy seemed to be beside him any time, like an annoying bug, flying around him with his buzzing noises that hurt his head.
He didn’t understand his persistence. When Rin did yoga Isagi found him and tried to replicate his poses; in the facility, he stayed close to him on and off the field. After everyone went off celebrating the legendary triumph, that bastard noticed him sitting alone and came up. Was Isagi trying to reassure him? Of all people, it just had to be him.
To be honest, over time Rin got used to it: another person walking around with him, asking some questions from time to time. Questions not even related to football, those that kids ask each other in kindergarten. Out of the blue, while they ate in the cafeteria or were heading to their rooms to sleep, Isagi would ask his favorite colour, dish, then hobbies he had besides soccer. Rin didn’t see the meaning behind it all. He was simply wasting his time, wasn’t he? Why was Isagi doing it? Was he trying to find his weaknesses this way? That was a ridiculous method if you asked Rin.
Still, those conversations between them gave the feeling of normality to his life in Blue Lock, he had to confess it to himself at least. He didn’t have any friends at school, all his previous football teammates were too lukewarm to talk to. It wasn’t like he needed them; he’d have only lost his nerves trying to do it.
Isagi shouldn’t have been any different in that aspect, maybe even more bothersome. It wasn’t the case, surprisingly. What a peculiar situation.
Rin sighed in frustration; he was doing it again, thinking about that idiot. His rival of all people. It was his first time getting such an odd interest in someone. When he was just a kid his brother was his everything, an idol and someone he was looking up to.
However, whatever was wrong with his mind and all those thoughts about Isagi were different. He couldn’t stop himself and run away from his own mind. As if a lump appeared in his throat, strange things turning his stomach inside and out. It didn’t bring him any serious physical pain or disturbing effects, a mere inconvenience on his way towards his goal, like any other he had. Steppingstone.
An outsider would most likely assume Rin was in love with Isagi. This whole situation did resemble those romantic dramas his mother loved to watch. What a nonsense though, Rin Itoshi falling in love with his rival? He’d never, it was too absurd of a concept. Most likely he just loathed Isagi so extremely that the boy loaded all his thoughts, causing him to tremble inside to the point of his heart flipping in his chest.
All these signs he showed were nothing less than hatred.
Right?
Rin’s eyes opened abruptly, breath stuck in his throat as the realization sunk in, slowly like a poison, making his whole body shake. It couldn’t be real. No, it truly wasn’t. Such ideas were ridiculous, someone as smart as Rin would never. However, if he continued to reject his feelings it’d only worsen the situation and make him a bigger fool than he already was. He didn’t want to admit it, but it was right there in front of him. The statement was as clear as water under him.
Rin Itoshi fell in love with Isagi Yoichi. He was doomed.
The time stopped yet again for the young Itoshi, but for a different reason now. He wasn’t in the flow in the middle of a match, and there was no need to crush anyone and become number one and steal everyone’s attention to himself. He was alone, watching the sunset, with the sounds of birds chirping being the only thing he could hear. He didn’t breathe, his heartbeat stopped while the hair was blown by the chilly wind.
Deep inhale and exhale, getting back to the present. It was real. His feelings for Isagi Yoichi were there and didn’t magically leave him yet.
Rin snapped. His fingers sunk painfully into his legs as he screamed in pure frustration. He couldn’t hear his own shouting; his ears were ringing as if a bomb exploded near him. He lowered his head, dark hair hiding his face away from the world. It was too much for the teenager to process in such a short amount of time.
“Fuck!” he desperately cried out. “Why? Why him? Why me?”
So many questions appeared in his head, one after another, but all held the same meaning: he didn’t understand how he got himself into this mess. These feelings were disgusting. He wanted to get them out, throw away his heart, and hit his head until he lost a concussion. He was yelling to the nothingness until he was incapable of it anymore.
Nevertheless, half an hour later Rin finally calmed down. He was able to breathe normally and let go of his thighs he was gripping with his nails. His throat hurt from that intense scream. At least now he could think rationally and analyze the situation.
One thing was for sure, he was in love with his rival. It might even have been this way for a while, and he didn’t notice the signs instantly. Did anybody else do? If that was the case it would certainly cause problems for him. No one said anything about it yet though. Everyone at Blue Lock was noisy and wouldn’t have missed such a great opportunity to tease and blackmail him, so most likely Rin was the only one who realized it. His shoulders relaxed and jaw unclenched in relief. He was still safe.
His gaze turned towards the sunset, the sun setting down and gradually hiding behind the mountains, painting the whole sky into warm orange and yellow colours, over time turning into dark blue. The scenery was truly lovely. Anyone else would peacefully observe it in its whole beauty.
Unfortunately, Rin wasn’t that person. He discovered his feelings towards certain someone when it wasn’t the right time and place. He was on his way to becoming the best striker in Japan, beating everyone who stood in his way, proving to his older brother his worth. Not now. Not in Blue lock. Not in this lifetime would he ever confess what he had to uncover today to anyone else, and that included Isagi too. Even if it hurt him deep inside, made him worse in football. That just showed his limits and how weak he was if some obscene emotions stopped him. That was what Rin decided for himself. His feelings will be hidden away from everyone until they vanish as if they never existed in the first place.
And he did it, kept his promise, and went on with his life, not a word about that realization to a soul. It wasn’t as hard as others made it to be in TV shows and books. He was in PXG team and currently playing against Barcha. When he came back to Blue Lock everything was the same, without any changes. Rin was fully concentrated, his performance was incredible, and he flew around the field freely, akin to water in the crystal-clear ocean.
Of course, one certain individual, on the other side of the screen, was watching the game intensively in the process, his eyes catching every player on the field, their actions, and tactics. He was trying to figure out the prospect of the game, who would have the ball next and score a goal. Isagi was amazed by the PXG players’ playstyle.
As soon as Rin showed up on the monitor, a smile immediately appeared on Isagi's face. He himself did not even notice this, had no control over this action. His thoughts were occupied with other things: Rin's game, the way he ran across the field, his smooth actions, and clever techniques. He knew that his opponent had become stronger and better since the last time they saw each other. Isagi already wanted to play against Rin as soon as possible, feel this adrenaline, be the only one who could read him, and see the same field layout.
What Isagi didn't notice was Hiori's knowing look, who grinned at his friend's expression. It was too easy. Isagi's feelings were obvious and easily visible, as if hidden behind a closet made of glass: closed, but clear to everyone around. Hiori also knew that Isagi wasn't stupid enough to not recognize his own feelings. ‘What are you going to do, egoist?’ the cyan-haired man thought. ‘What kind of plan do you hide under your sleeves?’
Meanwhile, the loverboy was still staring intently and analyzing the match like everyone else in the room. The atmosphere shifted as Rin scored the first goal. It was quick. Isagi was in awe as he saw it with his own eyes: new Itoshi Rin was born in the PXG team and currently was dominating the field.
Suddenly Loki asked for a substitution change. They pulled Rin and inserted Shidou. Karasu and Zantetsu were also picked and entered the pitch. It was a whole different formation with its unique system. Shidou scored a goal too, a genius-level freaking shot. Isagi and Hiori were the only ones who noticed a pattern, a tiny detail others didn’t glance an eye on. Charles Chevalier, PXG’s heart, and his incredible passes that assisted both Rin and Shidou.
There was one thing everyone in the room had in common right at this moment: the desire to play against that team as soon as possible. The battle of the best, the one that will show who is standing on the top of the mountain. The champion of the Neo Egoist League.