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The Fake Mortal and the Fake God have a Tea Party.

Summary:

Venti pays Furina a little visit after the events of Fontaine, looking to lift the spirits of the woman who decieved the heavenly principles.

Notes:

This supposed to be a super delayed Secret Santa gift, so i'm super sorry for the delay! Hope y'all enjoy :D

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“Now, allow me to offer a toast, for the future of Fontaine!”

 

“Hey! What are you doing? This is a tea party ! You're not supposed to ‘offer toasts’ as if you were in the middle of a tavern!”

 

Two individuals were sitting at the opposite sides of a little table in Furina’s apartment, one of them of course was the very tired owner of the abode -fresh out of her trial- while the other was this young man in a green bard attire, aqua eyes and dark raven hair with teal strands on the edges of his braids.

 

Furina shook her head as Venti drank the entirety of his cup’s contents in one go, sighing in irritation. She couldn't believe the sight in front of her. One of the Seven Archons of Teyvat, someone who was supposed to preside over an entire nation and have a developed sense of responsibility above all mortal imagination. She had spent years mastering her ability to exude authority just by the way she spoke, moved or acted. But this guy…

 

“Ahh, much, much better. Though I gotta say, I'm not the biggest fan of tea, it's a little dull compared to the taste of wine…” Venti muttered, causing the woman in front of him to narrow her baggy eyes.

 

“Ehem, need I remind you that you were the one who barged into my abode like a madman, wanting to have a tea party?!” Furina recriminated. It was very much clear to her already that this guy had a real problem with drinking.

 

“Hmph! How rude! I even went out of my way to learn the Fontainian etiquette for this!” Venti crossed his arms and puffed his cheeks.

 

“Reaaaaally now?! And where exactly did you learn the etiquette, in a bar?! Look at yourself! You’re not even holding the cup properly!” Furina exclaimed, pointing at the cup in the Archon’s hand.

 

“T-There’s a ‘proper way” to hold it?! Why?! It’s not like anybody’s going to be looking at that kind of stuff anyways!”

 

That is exactly where you’re wrong. It is exactly in events like Tea Parties where everyone is looking at you the most, examining the correctness of your etiquette, of you posture, of the very way you eat! All eyes are on you. ” Furina’s voice took a slightly sinister undertone at those last words. It was exactly because of the infinitude of events of that nature that she had gone through during the five hundred years of her act, that she knew exactly what it was like.

 

Venti grimaced at all of this. The very way the former regina spoke of something as simple as a Tea Party. It sounded like an absolute drag to him, so he could barely begin to imagine attempting to pull it all off for five hundred years.

 

“F-Fine, how am I supposed to properly hold it, then?”

 

Furina then proceeded to demonstrate the proper way to hold the cup of tea, the handle being gripped between the index, middle and thumb, with the pinky up. Additionally, the former archon also explained to Venti how to properly stir the tea in it.

 

“L-Like this?”

 

“Like that! See? It really isn’t that hard once you get used to it. Come on, try it!”

Venti tried to hold the cup of tea, stir it, and sit properly just as Furina had explained to him. And he succeeded somewhat clumsily. The result of his attempt ended up with him sitting in a stiff posture, his fingers getting all tied, and his spoon occasionally hitting the edges of the cup.

 

Additionally, he had this cartoony expression on his face that displayed the amount of “effort” he was putting on trying to get it right. All to Furina’s dismay, who sighed and placed her hand on her forehead.

 

“Oh for archon’s sake-!” Furina yelled I'm desperation”

 

“For who's sake?” Venti’s expression suddenly became smug. Only furthering Furina's irritation.

 

“W-Whatever! How come it’s so hard for you? It’s the most basic part of it all! You’re telling me you’ve never ever attempted something like this before in your centuries as an archon?!”

 

Venti put the cup down and breathed in deeply, as if he had just dropped an insanely heavy weight.

 

“W-Well, not really! Tea parties sound more like the stuff of witches or the aristocracy, so it really isn’t my thing…” The archon rubbed the back of his head a little apologetically. “Besides! All those rules and etiquette aren’t really my forte, I always prefer a good ol’ drinking night in the company of friends”

 

“You’re hopeless.” Furina shook her head and sighed. “I can’t help but be envious though, the people of Mondstadt still worship you as their archon in spite of your… general absence.”

 

“Well, what can I say! They have a pretty peaceful life overall and I rarely ever need to interfere in their free lives.” Venti raised his eyebrow and smiled. “Besides! I’ve helped them a lot too, y’know? I could go on for an entire day about the lost songs of the defeat of Decarabian the Tyrant, or the rise of Vennessa against the Aristocracy. You may not believe it, but I was there!”

 

“Is that so?” Furina took another sip of her tea, raising an eyebrow. “And where were you in between those events? I find it a little hard to believe Mondsdaters never suspected the bard that never ages and that looks pret-ty similar to the giant statue at the top of the city.”

 

“Well, I did think of that! But don’t worry! Among many other things, the periods of slumber help me conceal my identity.”

 

“Periods of slumber?” Furina inquired with curiosity.

 

“Yep! These periods of time where I fall into a deep slumber to bank my power, really comes in handy when I need to save the nations from some sort of catastrophe!”

 

“So…” Furina started, taking another sip of her tea. “Most of these… two thousand years or so, you've spent them taking a nap?” Furina inquired. During her time playing the role of the archon, she had naturally researched for information regarding the nature of the rest of The Seven. Of all of them, she had found it particularly difficult to find any information in regards to the Anemo Archon’s conduct, most of the records only referring to specific periods of time where he showed up to help Mondstadt in a crisis… and now she had received direct confirmation.

 

“Now, I think that’s a little blunt. I’ll have you know I also help my people in many other ways! You could ask them! Many will tell you about the miraculous wind that helped a girl’s cat down a tree or that nurtured the many crops in Dawn Winery.”

 

Furina stared at him, that was… kind of the bare minimum? But in any case, who was she to speak…

 

“Well… I um… I’ve also done a lot for my people! Like uh… Like when I um… acted in many plays for their entertainment! And uh… made the court atmosphere less heavy! And… and…”

 

Furina’s expression then dropped, what had she really done for her people? It’s not like she could perform all the kind of miraculous stuff people with visions or archons could in her capacity as a human playing a god.

 

Venti’s expression also dropped slightly. He couldn’t help but think of the strange juxtaposition between them. He was a god pretending to be a mortal among people, delighting himself in the pleasures of human life. But Furina… she was a human forced with the task of pretending to be a god every day for the past 500 years of her life, with no tools other than her acting skills and charisma.

 

“If you’d allow me to interject, Furina I think you’ve done quite a lot for Fontaine! Or what? You’re gonna tell me upholding the most painful masquerade of all for over half a millenium counts as nothing?”

 

Furina didn’t know how to reply to Venti’s words. It was true that everything had turned out alright in the end. But it still felt like she had very little to celebrate about. She had fallen from grace. Her negligence still led to the death of many. A portion of Fontaine likely hated her. Her acting career was completely done for. Even back at when the great flood had happened, all she had done was lie still, weeping on her throne.

 

Even if it was all “part of the plan”, all she had been able to do in the end was be in the right place at the right time.

 

“Come on, don’t give me that look.” Venti smiled at her, wishing to lift off her spirits. “There’s no reason to be sad! You’ve played your part to perfection. We should be celebrating your success!

 

 

 

“Pardon me, it’s just…” She tried to give Venti a smile, but her face couldn’t really produce the expression. “It just doesn’t feel like there’s anything I should be celebrating for..”

 

Both of them remained in silence for a few seconds. Furina didn’t really know what else to say after that, and Venti… Venti was thinking of the right words, maybe something that would restore her hope just a little bit.

 

“What about your freedom?”

 

Furina blinked.

 

“My… freedom?”

 

“Of course! You finally got relieved from that insane masquerade, all alone and completely unable to reach out to anybody. Now you can go and live your life however you want! Isn’t that just wonderful?”

 

She pondered his words. The archon had a point: Now she was free to do whatever she wanted, no more acting, no more loneliness, just her own life to do… whatever she wanted.

 

However, doubt arose in her mind again. What exactly was it that she wanted?

 

“And… what am I supposed to do with that freedom exactly?” Furina decided to express her doubt, insecurity dripping out of her voice. “I spent so many years being ‘the Hydro Archon' everyone wanted and needed, and now that I'm no longer playing that role…”

 

Furina looked at her own reflection in her tea, seeing just a tired and sorry little woman…

 

“...It doesn't even feel like there’s anything left for me”

 

Venti grimaced slightly, empathizing with Furina’s pain. It was like releasing a boar that had remained in captivity for its entire life out to the wild. The animal just wouldn’t know what to do or how to behave in such an environment. As it hadn’t known anything else; never experienced any other life than the one trapped in a cage…

 

Suddenly, Venti got reminded of a certain someone.

 

“You kind of remind me about this guy in Mondstadt, good ol’ Stanley. In an attempt to keep his friend’s legacy and stories alive, he became so engrossed in trying to act like him, in trying to be him” Venti smiled at her, but it was a pretty somber expression.

 

For obvious reasons, this story caught Furina’s attention, so the bard proceeded.

 

“It wasn’t until me and the Traveller intervened that he was able to let go.”

 

“What happened to him after that?”

 

“Once he fully recovered from the grief, he used his knowledge and abilities to become a storyteller! The children love hearing the tales of Stanley the great adventurer, he’s happier than I’ve ever seen him. And I’ve even had the honor to perform a little song in memory of his friend, hehe~”

 

Furina gave a little slow nod, taking in all this information. In spite of being trapped in this “act”, this Stanley person had managed to pull through and move on with his life in a way that fulfilled him.

 

So… maybe there was still something waiting for her in the future? But when would she even find it? And how?

 

Venti noticed Furina’s expression, and saw he was on the right track. “What I'm trying to say is that, you shouldn't be afraid, Furina! Whatever you choose to do with your freedom, I'm sure you'll be great at it! Your resolve was strong enough to withstand five hundred years of pain. What's that in comparison to the little tribulations of mortal life? All you have to do now is keep going.”

 

“To keep going…” Furina repeated after him. She was tired, she was unbelievably tired… But, wouldn’t it be a bigger waste to have spent her entire existence just trapped in a role she never wanted? She had to see the bigger picture, the beauty beyond her entire life being the clown of the Court.

 

With a slightly firmer nod, she extended her hand towards Venti for a handshake.

 

“I shall thank you for your words, Venti. Perhaps your little visit tonight was exactly what I needed…”

 

Venti smiled and gladly took her handshake.

 

“Nothing to thank me for! Consider it as payment for the lesson in Tea Party etiquette.” He took his cup again (holding it the wrong way, of course) raised it, and took a big gulp of it… and Furina shook her head at this sight and giggled. What a silly individual Mondstadt had for an archon…

 

“Etiquette aside, though. Can I offer a toast now or will you scold me again?” Venti smirked, the cup in his hand reaching out to Furina’s direction.

 

“Fine, just this once!” Furina also raised her cup. Both of them stood up and she beckoned him to speak.

 

“For the future of she who decieved the Heavenly Principles and saved a nation!”

 

“For my future!”

 

"Cheers!"

 

Clink!