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If Only

Summary:

Reader is killed on a hunt and the brothers mourn her death.

Notes:

I feel really good about this one. I think it's the best I've done so far.

Work Text:

The Winchesters were never one’s to show emotion.

 

It took years of friendship to break their outer shell, to see what was really behind all that anger.

 

I’ve known the infamous Winchester’s for 11 year’s now, and even after all this time, I never found what’s truly killing them on the inside.

 

And now here I am, watching my own funeral.

 

Dean was the first to cry.
He didn’t want to burn me, so they ended up putting me six feet under.

Sam was the first to speak,“Do you want to um, want to say something?”
Dean knelled next to my grave. And although he couldn’t see, I did too.

 

“Y/N, I don’t think you know how much you mean to us. You helped us find our dad, fight Lucifer, Eve, and all of the other son’s of bitches.” He gives a soft sob.
Sam bows his head, agreeing with Dean.

 

“And I hope to God you didn’t stay behind-”

 

Oops.

 

“But if you did, Y/N, holy crap you don’t know how much I loved you.”

 

Dean and I started dating two years ago. He was my ray of sunshine in this shitty life.
Our first date was at a drive-in theater. Watching old movies, snuggled up next to the man you love in the sweetest ride you had ever seen. Life couldn’t get much better.

 

Sam gives a hint of a grin,“Both of us.” I smile.
Sam was always like an older brother. Watching every move I made, shielding me on hunts, at times Sam was overprotective. Most of the time if Dean didn’t take the hit for me, he did.

 

Quietly, the boys went back to the bunker, with me in trail.

 

The bunker was a sight for sore eyes. We had been in Missouri, tracking a group of demons. When we finally had the chance to gank them, one snuck up behind me, stabbing a knife in my abdomen.

 

I let out a sigh. “Dean, did you feel that?"

 

Dean turned to his brother slowly, "Do you think, maybe?” Sam shrugged.

 

Dean, it’s me. Baby, it’s me.

 

He couldn’t hear my shouting. I only wish the Winchester legacy of defeating death passed onto me.

 

I want to hold my boys one more time. Show them how much I love them.

 

I wasn’t one for showing emotion, but I could shout.

 

Silent shouting.

 

If only the Winchesters could hear it.