Chapter Text
It was a snow day, meaning classes were canceled at Tsuda Rei Academy. The streets of Belobog, the school field, rooftops, trees, were all covered by a pristine layer of soft porcelain. The sky may be gray, but the mood is far from it.
“Isn’t every day a snow day in Belobog?” An indigo haired beauty interrupts the narration while finishing the last bite of her morning sandwich.
The sass only makes her cuter, she’s a natural at this. Shinpachi has been really quiet since Pela showed up.
Back in the day, when the planet was being ravaged by the Eternal Freeze, kids had to swim their way to school. Pardon? Are you thinking of water swimming? Liquid water used to be extinct in the wild, as it simply could not survive under the harsh conditions of the Eternal Freeze. Though, small amounts did exist in captivity. Synthesizing liquid water, also known as hydroxylic acid, is a rigorous and potentially fatal procedure, and only a handful of people have enough guts and skill to attempt it. For example, a certain homosexual Landau has accomplished this synthesis numerous times.
“Do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down?” Pela puts on her fluffy winter jacket and wraps a cute blue scarf around her neck.
She’s got a point. Perhaps that was not the best example. Basically, a PhD in a relevant field is the bare minimum to perform said procedure. First, the temperature of the reaction must be meticulously adjusted so that the hydroxylic acid will not freeze, nor will it vaporize upon formation. The most dangerous step is the mixing of two highly combustible gases, hydrogen, and oxygen, followed by--
“Or you can just melt snow.” Pela comments as she zips up her snow boots and steps out of her home, the sound of snow crunching and squealing beneath her boots. (Aeons I wish I was snow)
Delinquents don’t get paid time off as delinquents, so a little bit of snow isn’t going to stop them from engaging in delinquent activities. Be it a snow day or not, it’s all just another day of work for the disciplinary committee.
Anyways, back in the day, water swimming was not a thing-- snow swimming was the meta.
Children who did not meet the height requirement must swim through snow one to two meters deep while on fire from eating spicy noodles, because by the time they arrived at school it was already time to go home for dinner.
As for folks who had the height advantage, they still had to fight their way through snow while on fire because they got fired from their job for being late.
As time went on, the notion of ‘snow days’ came into existence, courtesy of the Rand family, because forcing children to swim through meters of snow was cruel and unusual punishment. However, snow days only came into effect when the amount of snow reaches a certain level, let’s say half a meter.
Fast forward time some more, the Eternal Freeze has now been lifted thanks to a certain bat wielding delinquent, and liquid water is no longer extinct in the wild-- only critically endangered.
Meter thick layers of snow have now been reduced to mere centimeters. And the threshold of snowfall required for implementing a snow day has gone down drastically. Kids these days complain about school not cancelling when there’s only like two centimeters of snow. Back in my day--
“You already talked about that.” Pela’s cute voice muffled beneath her blue scarf, and her glasses foggy from the condensed Miss Pela water vapor as she treads her way towards campus.
There really isn’t that much snow today, approximately 10-15cm, about the height of a cell phone, but modern folks are very cautious and weak willed, and this amount of snowfall was enough for the upper administration to cancel classes.
As Pela approached the school gate, a few student council and disciplinary committee members were putting their backs to work shoveling snow.
“Good morning, Lieutenant Pela.” A few of them saluted, others gave a respectful nod, and then went about their labor.
Pela nods back at them and says, “Good morning”, in a tired voice. The lucky bunch is blessed with hearing Pela’s morning voice. As much as they hate shoveling snow, it was completely worth it.
Although classes were canceled at Tsuda Rei Academy, a decent number of people still showed up to play in the snow. Freezing temperatures, slippery ground, and gruesome shoveling aside, everyone just wishes to play in the snow like children, it’s in the DNA. And this behavior had moderately caught the attention of a certain morally ambiguous biologist. Though, that’s a story for another time.
Students and faculty alike were scattered around campus, forming small groups, and participating in whatever snow related activity piqued their interest.
One very popular activity, or a sport, is called ‘disappear among the sea of snow’, which was coined by the borderline delinquent, Seele. The gist of the game is a turn-based snowball fight between two, or more, teams. Each person on the field takes turns launching a snowball at the opposing team, and those who get hit are banished to the sea of snow. Now, the catch is that if you successfully banish an opponent to the sea of snow, then you get an additional turn to throw a snowball. And believe it or not, it’s always Seele’s turn.
The only reason this one-sided sport is so popular is because Tsuda Rei Academy is filled with masochists who revel in being hit with Seele’s balls. Snowballs. They even have a fan club for her.
Oh, looks like they’re at it again. Miss Seele really needs to learn to hold back. Pela thinks to herself as she patrols the perimeter of the snow-clad school field. If Seele gets any more violent she really will end up on the disciplinary committee’s wanted list, and the student council president will not be entertained by that idea, and Pela does not wish to think about the amount of budget they’d lose as a result.
Speaking of the student council president, Pela rubs the mist off her glasses with her scarf and takes a distant look at a certain long gray-haired individual who was playing with Seele. Pela was standing a good 50 meters away so she couldn’t discern who it was exactly. Nah, why would she be out in this cold playing disappear among the sea of snow? Pela shoves her hands back into the side pockets of her fluffy jacket and continues her patrol.
“Take that, Bronya!”
Pela inadvertently hears Seele shouting the student council president’s name, which momentarily interrupts her gait. Nah, that’s probably just a coincidence, same hair, same name, no big deal. She refuses to look in their direction to double check.
She then hears students nearby panicking, “Oh no, the president got buried in the sea of snow!” Ah, the president of the Seele Fan Club, right? I’m not falling for that. Pela continues to cope, refusing to get involved.
“Even if it’s you, Seele, we can’t let you get away with harming Lady Bronya!” The masochists immediately swapped out their Seele Fan Club armband for a Student Council armband.
“It is the student council president?!” Pela almost trips.
Bronya stabs the snowy field with her rifle and supports herself up-- yes, the student council president is allowed to carry a rifle on school grounds. Problem?
Her long glossy gray hair, her delicate face, her school blazer, and her black tights dripping with a whitish, almost translucent, slush as she breathes heavily, trying to regain composure.
“Maybe this isn’t so bad after all.” A few of the student council members whispered as they stared in amazement. Some even gave Seele a thumbs up.
“Oh, you can still get up after that, Bronya?” Seele lightly juggles a snowball with one hand. “I take it that you want round two?” The purple haired girl takes a stance, the snowball gripped with just enough strength not to implode.
The student council members rush to form a shield around their president. They get to protect their Lady Bronya while being assaulted by Seele’s snowballs, that’s an absolute win for them.
Just as Seele was about to release the snowball from her hand, she noticed a snowball coming towards her at a distance from the corner of her left eye, though she was confident in her speed. She would take down one of the guards with her current snowball, and then catch the snowball that is hurdling towards her with the other hand, jump off one foot, do a 180-degree spin in the air and release this second snowball to snipe Bronya from above-- it was perfect, she ran this simulation in her head, twice, in a matter of 3.8 microseconds.
That is, if she wasn’t targeted by the genius sharpshooter, Pelageya Sergeyevna. Before Seele could even release the snowball currently in her hand, she felt a sudden force against her left leg. It was a relatively soft force, but enough to make her lose balance. A snowball had hit the back of her knee. “Eh?” She looks down.
Half a second later, the snowball that Seele thought she would catch, in her simulation, detonated against her pretty face. “There were two?” Seele clicks her tongue in self-disappointment as she drops to one knee with her face covered in snow.
Pela’s faint voice could be heard from a distance as she treaded towards the half-defeated Seele. “Three!” She was also pointing upward with her index finger.
“Huh?” Seele had no clue what Pela was on about, and although she respected Pela, the prideful Seele was already molding a new snowball in her hand ready to retaliate.
A third snowball freefalls down against Seele’s purple head, making a ‘pff’ sound as if it snickered at her. She was utterly defeated.
“What the heck are you doing assaulting the student council president in public?” Pela, with her arms crossed, gives a deadpan look down at Seele, who shakes the snow off her head like a wet dog shake.
“Also, what’s with that snowball in your hand? You got hit, so it’s my turn again.” Pela scoops up some snow with her palm and playfully flicks snow crumbs onto Seele’s face. “Oh, you got hit again, it’s my turn.”
The sight of this moistened white substance melting from the warmth of Seele’s slightly red face had set Pela’s imagination ablaze. She continues to harass Seele by shooting more of this white slush towards the purple haired delinquent, all while unaware of the sadistic smile gradually creeping across her own cute glasses donned face.
“Stop getting in my way, Pela! This fight is between me and Bronya, I can totally take her!”
“What kind of fight are we talking here?” Pela raises an eyebrow, drops the snow that she’s been flicking, and reflexively reaches for her notepad, only to realize that she didn’t have it with her. Bummer.
“Looks like your turn is finally over, Seele.” Bronya marches closer with her band of student council members. “To guard and defend, crush them!”
“Wait, who’s them?” Pela asks but is ignored.
More and more student council members began popping out of random places at Bronya’s signal. Several crawled out from beneath the snow like the undead rising from graves, a few more came running from the school gate, the cafeteria door sprang open and a couple more marched over, a window on the second floor suddenly shattered and two bodies somersaulted down, and lastly someone did a three-point landing from Aeon knows where this idiot jumped from.
“Tsk! We’re surrounded!” Seele exclaims with a frown while cracking her knuckles.
“What do you mean we’re surrounded? I have nothing to do with this, I’m just an innocent disciplinary committee member passing by!” Pela turns her head back and forth, looking in all directions and confirms that they are indeed surrounded.
“Leave without me, it’s better if only one of us goes down.” Spoken like a true chuuni. Seele waves her hand and shoos Pela to go away.
“Yes, that’s what I’m planning to do. But since when were we even comrades? I’m so confused, what is going on here?” Pela pushes up her glasses with both hands while looking around worriedly. She cautiously takes baby steps away from Seele, who is presumably their main target.
“Looks like we’ve been caught in her reality marble.” Seele begins to lose confidence as a frigid gust collides against her body, sending her long purple hair in a frenzy.
“No, I’m pretty sure we’re still at school. Look, same building, same trees, same field, same snow.” Pela comments while desperately looking for an opening to escape.
“You haven’t heard the rumors, Pela? The Rand possess a certain anti-army ability that allows them to materialize an entire army on command, and this was how they fought off the Legion’s army for centuries prior to the Eternal Freeze.” Seele exhales a cloud of water vapor and continues. “As Bronya was adopted, I didn’t think she would possess this ability, but guess I was wrong. Look at this scenery, an entire army waiting to do her bidding.” Despite the seemingly hopeless situation they’re in, Seele can’t help but be amazed by this primordial power.
“They look more like a band of simps waiting for their oshi’s orders, if you ask me.” Pela continues to push up her glasses and squints to get a better look at the myriad of student council members. It came to her attention that there definitely are not this many people on the student council.
“Look closer, Pela, this scenery is none other than the fabled rank EX reality marble, Ionioi Hetair--”
“The only thing here that’s a marble is your brain.” Pela rapidly retorts to cut Seele off.
Letting Seele finish that sentence would mean more apology letters to Type Moon, and Pela is tired of writing apology letters, she’s got better things to write.
Seele’s eyes widen in fear as fierce winds consume the school field. “It can’t be! Are you saying this is a domain expan--"
“No one said anything of the sort. The only thing that needs expansion is your literary interests.” Pela quickly delivers one last snowball to the back of Seele’s head.
Certain individuals of the army were panting like dogs, others were fidgety and occasionally sneaking glances at their president, but the majority were simply standing still, completely motionless as if they were well-made statues or cardboard cutouts planted in the snow.
Upon closer inspection, Pela noticed that some 2/3 of the army are in fact cardboard cutouts of student council members. Very detailed ones at that, they all had their uniform, armband, and different poses as well. And at this very moment is when Pela calmly said, “It’s time for a counterattack”, and counterattacked all over the place.
...
Omake
“Seele, please stop assaulting Lady Bronya in public. Or if you must assault her, at least do it in private. But be sure to give me the deets afterward.” Pela pushes up her shiny round glasses.
“What’s a deet? Does it taste good?” Seele responds with her mouth full as she gobbles down her nutritionally balanced lunchbox-- prepared by I think we all know who. Though, she didn’t comment on the assaulting part.
“It’s not foo--” Pela thinks for a second before changing her mind. “--not a food that everyone will fancy, but yeah I think it will be a pretty good snack.”