Work Text:
Gripping the carpet with overgrown nails
Grieving at the graves of the precious moments I've lost
Screaming for all the times I ignored myself
It's raw
I wanted to feel raw
I need to feel raw
Nicole stared into the bathroom mirror, her gaze direct and focused. Steam from her recently finished shower rose off her body, lending her a certain intensity she certainly wasn't feeling in the moment.
"You can do this," she told her reflection, and then immediately frowned. In her mind, her voice had been strong and sure, much like it had been on the day Kate had asked her if she had anything of Waverly's to find her beautiful partner with.
( "I need something to establish connection with Waverly. Do you have anything of hers?"
Nicole's mind races. What was even in her pockets now? Some gum? A few cents in change? Certainly nothing that could actually be said to belong to Waverly, the woman who had almost proposed to her, the woman who she had been seconds away from agreeing to be joined to for all time, to love and hold until the skies turned–
Her mind stopped racing. Of course she had something. "Yeah," Nicole said confidently. "Me." )
Letting that feeling wash over her again now, Nicole leaned forward. "You can do this," she said. "You survived the widows, you survived being Nedley's elf, you survived the goddamn Clantons. Compared to that, this is nothing."
"Did you say something, baby?" a familiar and very welcome voice said on the other side of the door. "Also, can I come in?"
"Yes!" called Nicole, a smile forming on her lips.
"Yes to which?"
Nicole grinned at the teasing tone in Waverly's voice. "Come on in!"
The door swung open and Waverly entered, dressed today in a sun-covered blouse and some blessedly tight khakis that Nicole was certain were specially designed by Waverly for the sole purpose of driving Nicole crazy. "Sorry to barge in, baby. Breakfast didn't want to be breakfast and decided to attack its preparer in a glorious last stand."
"Aw, babe…" Nicole turned to look at her and investigate the damage. There were a few eggshell pieces in Waverly's newly-shortened hair and Nicole was fairly certain one of the suns had been replaced by an egg yolk, but all told it wasn't too bad. "At least they didn't do too much damage."
"True, I did avoid most of it. Probably could have just cleaned up with a napkin at the sink."
"Oh, really?" Nicole felt a smirk rising on her face. "So why didn't you?"
Waverly smirked herself as she took off her lightly-egged shirt. "Because you were in here, not the kitchen." Waverly rose up on her toes and left a kiss on Nicole's nose."
"You know, if you guys are gonna be this horny this early in the day, we really need to start instituting a 'closed doors only' policy."
Waverly whirled to face the voice as Nicole's eyes shut in resignation. "Rachel!" said the youngest Earp in an I'm-totally-innocent-of-course voice. "Hey!" What are you doing up this early?"
"Not sure 9:15 is really early. I mean, if you two can be going at it, day must be pretty underway."
"Right," said Waverly. "We were just….cleaning up."
Rachel shrugged. "Hey, whatever you wanna call it. Just wanted to let you know we're out of eggs and I'm stealing forty dollars from you to get some more."
Nicole stepped forward, a towel wrapped around her upper half. "Eggs aren't forty dollars, Rach."
"Yeah, the other thirty-five is for the emotional damage. Later, nymphos."
The teen left in a hurry and Waverly and Nicole stood silently for a moment before dissolving into giggles. "Did you hear what she called us?" asked Waverly in mock outrage.
Nicole nodded. "Can't imagine where she picked that word up."
"Or where she got the idea that we're so obsessed with each other. I mean, do you realize its been a whole minute and a half since I last kissed you?"
"A lifetime, at least. I don't know how I'm still standing."
Waverly's mouth turned downward in a frown before she stepped towards Nicole and planted a series of ten kisses on her, ending with an extra long liplock. "There," she said, pulling back with a sly grin. "That should hold you for at least half an hour."
Nicole laughed. "You're an angel."
"I'm choosing to take that in the spirit it's meant rather than referring to a certain gloomy other personality." Waverly smiled and began to leave.
Nicole reached out for her. "Waves, wait. I didn't mean to–"
"Nicole, really. It's fine. I moved past Champ Hardy and Tucker Gardner, I can handle one semi-sociopathic angel." Waverly shook her head and when she spoke again, she was smiling and cheery. "So, any plans for today?"
Nicole's eyes narrowed. "You're not trying to smile and wave at me, are you, babe?"
Waverly sighed. "Okay, yes, I am aware of her in there, but I don't have any urges to run around Purgatory wearing black leather and smoking bad cigarettes while everything burns around me. That's crazy."
Nicole grinned again. "Black leather?"
"Stop it." Waverly smiled again, more genuinely this time. "So, plans?"
Nicole shrugged casually. "Not sure."
Waverly frowned. "'Not sure'?"
"Thought I might try to track Wynonna down, see if I can distract her with a little project."
Waverly practically squealed. "Really? What kind of project?"
"The kind we don't tell certain girlfriend-fiancés about until they're ready."
Waverly grinned. “Are you sure?” She stepped forward with a grin.
Nicole groaned. “Babe, please. I'm serious. Just trust me when I say you won't be disappointed “
“With you? Never.” Waverly gave her another kiss. “Well, if you're occupied, I'm gonna head over to Shorty's and see if I can give Nedley a hand with reorganizing that place.”
A short laugh escaped Nicole's mouth. “I can't believe he's actually gone into bar ownership as a retirement occupation.”
“Well, what else would he do in a town like this?” Waverly stopped and gave her a smile and wave. “Talk later?”
“Of course.”
“Lovely.” Nicole watched religiously as Waverly walked out the door and smiled as she heard the old red jeep start up. She finished toweling off and threw on some jeans and a blue-and-white button-down before grabbing her own keys and heading out to the barn. Lately, Wynonna had taken to sleeping in there on occasion. Supposedly it was to give Waverly and Nicole space to “do engaged things” (whatever that meant), but Nicole still worried.
“Wy?” she called, easing the door open. “You in here?”
No answer. She pushed the door open a little more and stuck her head into the crack. In the corner where her best friend-slash-future sister-in-law slept, there was only shadows. A soft metallic klink! came from behind where the door would open, and Nicole grinned. “Well, she's not in here,” said the redhead airily. “Guess I'll just–”
Quick as she could, Nicole pivoted and pushed the other door open hard. A sound halfway between a grunt and a laugh came from behind the door, and Nicole stepped around it and looked down. “Enjoying yourself, Wynonna?”
On the barn floor, the mostly-sober shape of the Earp Heir was giggling happily. “Got you, Haught.”
Nicole folded her arms across her chest. “Seeing as how I'm the one standing, you decidedly did not get me.”
“You sure?” said Wynonna, reaching to pull a rope right next to her. Nicole looked up and saw a plastic bucket above her begin to tilt. Before she could move, the bucket upended and…nothing happened.
Nicole looked at Wynonna, who was laughing uproariously, and then back at the bucket. Although the bucket had been precisely placed, nothing was spilling out, and as Nicole looked closer, she saw the inside of the bucket was clean as could be. Nicole sighed. “You know, Wyn, if you're gonna try and pull a bucket drop on someone, traditionally you put something in the bucket first.”
Wynonna pouted. “Aw, Nikki…” Nicole winced at the use of that nickname. “You really think I'd want to actually mess you up that badly? Especially when it's easier to lift an empty bucket and make you think I want to mess you up?” Wynonna chuckled and raised a bottle of something to her lips. “And here I thought you knew me.”
In spite of herself, Nicole laughed. “Well, I guess in that case, you did get me. Congratulations.”
Wynonna smirked and fired a pair of finger guns at her before finally getting up. “So, what can I do you for, Haught Cross Buns?”
“Actually…” Nicole smiled at Wynonna in her best conspiracy-face. “I was hoping I could entice you into a little project.”
“Project? Hmm…” Wynonna took another drink and stared into space. “Does it involve certain asshole cowboys, talking to a lot of people, or being in the sun for a long time?”
“No, probably not, and I've got aspirin and sunglasses in the truck.”
“Sounds good. Where we going?”
Nicole smiled.
I'm falling in too deep then finding sweet relief
It's a neverending fight
Unravel every thread all tangled in my head
Will I ever align?
Next time
I'm breaking, I'm breathing
I'm breaking, I'm breathing
I'm breaking, I'm breathing
I'm breaking, I'm breathing
Half an hour later, Wynonna's truck pulled to a stop outside Purgatory Salvage, the local refuse plant. Wynonna moved the gearshift to park and looked at her passenger. “Okay, we're here, at the literal biggest dump in Purgatory.” She turned the ignition off and stared. “Care to tell me why?”
Nicole's mouth quirked. “Well….do you remember that old couch Nedley had in his office?”
Wynonna frowned. “Yeah…” Nicole simply raised her eyebrows and Wynonna's eyes went wide and she grinned. “Oh! Naughty Haughtie strikes again! Doing it right in Randy's office!” She gasped as a thought occurred. “Wait, did he know?”
Nicole laughed. “I don't think he knew, but he definitely suspected. At least, he took to closing and locking his office a lot more not too long after Waves and I started dating.” Wynonna cackled at that, and Nicole grinned. “Anyway, we didn't need it for that long anyway, since Willa came back practically the next day, and then there was Bobo and the party, and then you knew about us, so…” Nicole trailed off.
Wynonna was silent for a moment. “Look,” she said finally. “If I ever gave the idea that I would be Judgy McJudgerson about you two dating…” Wynonna sighed. “I mean, how many times in those first six months did I say Waverly should be hanging out with you?”
“Well, there's hanging out and ‘hanging out’, so…”
“Fuck you,” said Wynonna, but she was smiling as she spoke. “So anyway, what does that couch have to do with this dump?”
“Right…” Nicole breathed out. “So after the election for sheriff, when you were all…away….I wasn't doing too great. I mean, I already wasn't doing great, and kicking that chicken didn't help matters any–”
“Still wanna know the story behind that, by the way.”
“No. So anyway–”
“Like, was it a live chicken? Did the feathers spread when you connected? How far–”
“Wynonna,” Nicole's voice lowered warningly, and the woman stopped talking and made a zipping gesture across her lips as Nicole went on. “Anyway, Holt got rid of a bunch of stuff that had belonged to Nedley. Basically tossed everything right in the trash. I–” Wynonna had a hand raised like a student in class. “Yes?”
Wynonna unzipped her lips. “Semi-relevant question, but Randy had a lot of things in that office. How'd you get it all?”
“First, thank you for assuming I would even try to get it all.”
“Hey, if there's one thing you're good at, Red, it's forming emotional attachments to things.”
“Secondly…well, one thing I discovered in those eighteen months is that nobody thinks about trash once it hits the sidewalk. I just drove back into town that night with Rachel – who was unnaturally excited about a ‘stealth b&e at police HQ’ – parked the truck next to the dumpster, and hauled out everything that was in there that had been in Nedley's office. The only thing I had to leave behind was the couch.”
“Dare I ask why? I mean, considering it's where you and Waves…” Wynonna took her fists and mimed two vaginas rubbing against each other.”
“Ew…and also, no, we didn't do… that. There was only so much time, after all.”
“Gross.”
“You brought it up, and to answer your question, we left it behind because someone saw our flashlights waving about and called it in. Just as I was passing over the last of Nedley's record collection, I heard a voice from behind us say ‘Freeze! Purgatory Police!’ I'm not sure which one of us threw that garbage bag towards them, but it was enough to buy us a few seconds to get back in the truck and make it back home.”
Wynonna's lips curved upward and she leaned over to the dashboard. “Good job, kid.” She looked back at Nicole. “Okay, so the couch got left behind, and now you want it for reasons, and you think it's in here?”
Nicole nodded. “Holt might have been good at keeping a foot down on gross violence, but his negotiating skills were crap. Within a month, all recycling and garbage removal services were cancelled. That meant things were either getting burned or just piling up in an inoperative dump, and according to my source, that couch falls into the ‘piled up’ category.”
“You have a source?”
“Yeah. Freddy Marquand, the florist. He said he caught a whiff of our scents the last time he was here and told me I should take a look.”
“A whiff of….what, is he a werewolf?”
“Yeah. Is that a problem?” Nicole looked challengingly at Wynonna.
Wynonna raised her hands in a calming gesture. “Peace, Rose Redhead. So long as Freddy Fazwolf isn't chomping up citizens, he can do as he likes.”
“Good, because he's got a dance card saved for being the florist of choice for the wedding.” Wynonna smiled at that, and Nicole nodded. “Anyway, I was talking to him yesterday and he mentioned catching a familiar scent over here. When I asked what, he said it was mine and another scent that he'd caught coming off me in the past few weeks.”
“Since we came back and you and Waves were shacking up again, you mean.” Wynonna sighed. “Cool. Can't wait to meet this guy and have him smell every guy I've ever fucked on me.”
Nicole rolled her eyes and got out of the truck. “Anyway, the point is that he caught our scents coming from the southeast corner. I figure we head over, take a look around, find the couch, and bring it back. Easy, right?”
“Easy, she says.” Wynonna laughed bitterly as she exited. “Haught, when was the last time you were actually at a dump?”
“Wynonna, it's a couch. It's as big as you are. It's not like we're looking for a…” Nicole rounded the cab of the truck and stared. There were no fewer than a dozen piles of untended trash that were at least as big as the homestead, and that was just on their level. As Nicole and Wynonna walked forward, they saw even more in a dug-out valley below, containing mattresses, recliners, coffee tables….and couches. Lots and lots of couches.
“Well, shit,” said Nicole.
“In a barrel of monkeys,” agreed Wynonna, passing Nicole her drink.
Despite all thе evidence to thе contrary
I have an unshakeable desire to see me happy
It holds my heels into the core of the earth
Oh, it's all feeling so raw
Hours later, Nicole was frustrated and hot and tired and hungry and hot and hot. The late winter that had somehow stretched into summer ( Thanks for that, Purgatory ) had finally shown signs of turning into an actual summer just as they were entering fall. The cool morning temperatures had shot up to what felt like at least thirty degrees (or eighty-six, if you preferred Fahrenheit). The fact that they were surrounded by ancient trash in the middle of a heat burst was suddenly being made very aware to Nicole.
To her right…or left….or down…Wynonna let out her own frustrated groan. “Okay, Haught, let's be real here.”
“Real?”
“Yeah, real, as in ‘why are we really doing this’. Because frankly, I'm about done.”
Nicole sighed and began picking her way down the slope of trash she was on. “I told you–”
“Uh-uh,” said Wynonna, cutting her off. “You told me you wanted the couch, and made it sound like it was because it was Nedley's, but I call that bull and this a waste of – hey, hey, HEY!!!” Whatever Wynonna had been saying was cut off in favor of her drawing Peacemaker and charging forward towards something behind Nicole. Nicole turned and saw her friend charging towards a large furry shape, about eight feet tall and covered head to toe in dirty blonde fur. For its part, the shape did nothing, merely continued its own examination of the dump's contents. Wynonna leveled Peacemaker at the creature and Nicole heard her say, as the barrel glowed bright gold, “Don't know what your deal is, Baby Kong, but you picked the wrong town to invade.”
“Wynonna, no!” Nicole finally broke free of the pile and was running towards her friend. Without thinking, she pushed Wynonna's hands and Peacemaker downward and felt a slight burning as the gun expressed its anger in the only way it could. “You don't need to kill her.”
For her part, Wynonna looked at least as upset as the gun. “Okay, Haught, I know the heat's fried your brain, but generally we kill monsters and demons and the like…or did I miss an update?”
“Oh, wow, that's nice,” said a soft yet rumbly voice to the next. “Killing someone just because they look like a monster? And here I've been thinking you're an actual good Earp.”
Wynonna's mouth dropped open. “Haught?”
“Yes, Wynonna?”
“The bigfoot is talking to me.”
“Yes she is, Wynonna.” Nicole stepped forward and clapped a hand on the creature's upper arm. “How's it going, Sandy?”
“Apart from your friend threatening me, not too bad.”
“Yeah, sorry about that. I think you're her first sasquatch.”
“Um, excuse me?” Wynonna stepped forward between the two, with Peacemaker still glowing but at least not pointed at anyone. “Can someone explain what's happening?”
“Right, sorry, Wyn.” Nicole gestured towards the other being. “This is Sandy. I met her after a drunken trip to the stairs.”
“She was really messed up,” volunteered Sandy. “Took me about three hours to get her coherent enough to tell me where home was.”
Wynonna looked Sandy up and down and was reminded briefly of Tarzan's mom in the animated version of that tale. “Okay…Sandy. Since you're Haught's substitute bestie and all–”
“Hey, whoa, no.” Sandy held up a paw in front of her. “We might get along, but I'm nobody's substitute anything. The scent coming off of her whenever she talked about you…there's no breaking that kind of bond.”
Wynonna actually grinned at that. “Oh, yeah?”
Sandy nodded. “Really. Normally she just smells kinda vanilla, but when you get brought up, it gets so much stronger. The only people that get even more of a reaction are Rachel and her mate.”
“Mate? What–oh, you mean Waverly. Yeah, I guess she is her mate now, a ceremony or two aside.”
“Yeah! I mean, I probably won't be able to attend, but I know Nicole's been going over–”
“Okay! Thanks, Sandy, glad you two are fine now,” said Nicole. “Anyway, we were trying to find Nedley's old couch. Freddy said it was in the southwest corner, but we haven't seen it all day. Got any ideas?”
Sandy rolled her eyes. “Freddy, you…” She sighed. “Okay, there's two problems. The first is that Freddy is a horny idiot. When he left here the other day, he was so hung up on his latest crush that he couldn't smell straight. The couch you're talking about was in the northwest corner.”
“Oh, Sandy.” Nicole stepped forward and hugged the sasquatch. “You have no idea how much – wait.” Nicole played back what Sandy had just said in her head. “Did you say was?”
Sandy nodded. “Some young idiots that probably would be at college now if it weren't for the fog were by the other day and grabbed it first.”
“Oh, that's just great,” groaned Wynonna. “We come all the way out here and the thing's not even here? Christ.” Wynonna turned and headed for the hill. “Come on, sweaty-Haught, let's go.”
“Just give me a second, Wynonna…please.” Nicole looked up at Sandy. “Those idiots…did you recognize them? Or their scents?”
“I don't really make a habit of hanging out by Purg High, Haught.”
“Right, right,” said Nicole, ignoring Wynonna's grumbling about how only she could call Nicole Haught. “Well, do you think you could track them?”
Sandy considered. ‘Probably…but only if…”
Nicole waited. “If what?”
“If you let me have some of that whiskey. Holt's crackdowns have made it impossible for an apegirl to get a decent drink.”
Nicole looked at Wynonna, then at the bottle in Wynonna's hand that was still more than a third-full. Wynonna's eyes widened and her head shook a little, but Nicole just narrowed her eyes and stared at Wynonna harder. The Earp Heir audibly sighed and held the bottle out. “Here. Try not to leave a lot of hair on the rim.”
“Honey, if we're talking about hair on the rim, yours is a lot wilder than mine.” Sandy reached out, took the bottle, and helped herself to a single deep swallow. She inhaled deeply, savoring the taste, and then handed the bottle back to Wynonna, still a quarter-full. “Thanks.”
Wynonna sniffed the bottle and looked at the opening, then nodded and stuck it in a side pocket. “Cool. So….which way?”
Sandy lumbered over to the area of the dump she had mentioned and sniffed around. “Got ‘em. You both have phones?”
Nicole nodded and tossed Sandy hers. “When you get to where you're going, give us a call on Wynonna's. She's under ‘Best Bitch’.”
Wynonna looked at Nicole. “Really? You mean it?”
“Always.” Nicole felt a fist punch her side lightly and smiled at the substitute hug.
“If you two are done…” Sandy sniffed the air, moved a few dozen feet to the north, and then took an even bigger sniff. “Okay. They got in an old truck and took off, but I still got them. I'll call you.” Before either Earp or Haught could say anything, Sandy was off.
“So now what?” asked Wynonna.
“Now we wait,” said Nicole.
I'm moving through every road
And finding my way back home
With the crumbs I left behind
Through every twist and turn and lesson I never learn
Is one step at a time
(This time)
It was about thirty minutes later when Sandy finally called back. Nicole had just enough time to see the screen read ‘#1 Best Friend’ before Wynonna answered, “What up, Sandy Fagina.” There was a pause and then Wynonna was saying, “Hey, ease up. It's an Austin Powers reference, not–” Another pause, then, “Austin Powers. The shagadelic spy from….” Wynonna frowned. “You're fucking with me, aren't you.” The woman rolled her eyes as Nicole bit back a smile. “Look, Queen Kong, did you find the – you did. Okay, where are…” Wynonna was silent for the longest span yet, then said “We'll be right there.” She hung up and made for the truck, shouting at Nicole to hurry.
That was fifteen minutes ago. Now Nicole and Wynonna were positioned outside a rundown bar at the edge of the woods, a bar where they had once been forced into a drinking contest against a dozen or more revenants. Wynonna was grinning. “Of all the gin joints in all the world, right?”
“At least it's not Pussy Willows,” said Nicole.
“Hey, as a former employee of that place, I…okay, yeah, it sucked.”
Sandy grunted. “Hasn't gotten better either, with the new management.”
“Yeah? Who's running it now?”
“Some local idiot. Calls himself ‘The Champ’.”
Wynonna nearly laughed. “Hardy? How is that idiot running–”
“A strip joint?” finished Nicole.
“Stop ruining my indignation with true things, Haught….and I remind you, this is Champ.”
“Actually,” said Sandy, “it's doing okay. Guy's got a surprisingly good head for running a bar like that, from what I hear.”
“Okay, that's weird,” said Wynonna. “Anyway, what's the plan, Haught-to-trot?”
Nicole frowned and looked ahead. From what she could hear, the bar was filled to at least half-capacity. They could hear shouting and breaking glass and every now and then, a long undulating howl. “I don't know yet. Freddy's a good guy, but he's also pretty well-behaved. These guys, though…”
A glass bottle came flying out the window towards where the three of them hid. It rolled to a stop just in front of them and Nicole could read the words ‘Wolfheart Whiskey’ on the label. Wynonna reached for the bottle and took a sniff and a taste. “Not bad.”
“Okay, how about this,” said Nicole. “Tonight's only a new moon, so we don't need to worry about them changing. We come back when they're asleep, and – guys?” Nicole suddenly realized she was alone. She looked up and saw Wynonna and Sandy heading towards the front entrance. “What are you doing?” she whisper-shouted.
“Getting you a couch,” said Wynonna. “Feel free to join us.”
I'm breaking, I'm breathing
I'm breaking, I'm breathing
I'm breaking, I'm breathing
I'm breaking, I'm breathing
Wynonna's booted foot kicked the door open, and a surprised yelp came from the other side as the sounds of partying ceased. “Alright, you dirty dogs! Who's ready to play fetch with the Heir of Wyatt…”
Wynonna's voice trailed off as she took in the scene before her. Far from the crowd of murderous half-crazed revenants that had been here the last time she and Haught had visited, or even the gang of teen toughs that she had been expecting, the group on the other side of the door was actually…
Wynonna heard Haught enter behind her and Sandy and noted the complete lack of reaction to the scene before them. The trio saw a mixed group of about twenty werewolves - some old, some young, some gendered, some not --and all of them were gathered around a young-ish woman who was holding a bawling pup and sitting before a doctor with a collection of scalpels in front of them. The entire crowd, which had been noisy and celebrating seconds earlier, was now dead silent as they stared at the intruders.
“Haught?”
“Yeah, Earp?”
“This is a bris, isn't it?”
“It is,” said the woman holding the baby. She slowly stood and handed the baby off to another woman standing nearby. “Now, if the Heir and the former sheriff could kindly explain why they decided to invite themselves and bring a dirty sasquatch with them–”
“Hey, I bathe every day, lady,” said Sandy indignantly. “You can just–”
“Not now, Sandy,” said Nicole quickly. “So, it's kind of a funny story…”
The woman stared daggers at them, possibly wishing it was a full moon so she could tear them apart. “Go on…”
“Right,” said Nicole. “Well, we were looking for a couch–”
“Sheriff Nedley's couch,” Wynonna added helpfully.
“--and when we got to the dump where my friend Freddy said he'd seen it, we–”
“Hang on,” the woman said, holding up a hand. “You know Freddy?” Nicole nodded, and the woman searched the room. “FREDERICK! Get up here!” There was a brief pause, and then some feet could be heard moving forward. From the crowd stepped Freddy, who looked for all the world as if he'd prefer to be anywhere else just then. “Freddy, the former sheriff here says she knows you. Is that true?”
“I mean…yeah, of course,” said Freddy. “She's been in my shop a few times. She's a good person, Frida.”
“Uh-huh,” said the woman, turning back to Haught. “So tell me what my idiot brother told you, former sheriff.”
Wynonna scoffed bitterly. “Hey, enough with the ‘former’, alright? Haught's one of the best sheriffs this town ever had.”
“Key word ‘had’.” Frida grinned. “If a pack leader gets removed, they usually have the good sense to not stick around and keep butting their noses into things.”
“Fri, come on.” Freddy stepped in front of his sister. “You know she couldn't do that. No one could.”
“All the same…what did he tell you?”
“Just that the couch I was looking for was at the dump, only when we got there it was gone, and Sandy tracked the scent over to here.”
Frida stared at them like they were slow. “This is a bar, former sheriff.”
Nicole a glimmer of anger at being directly addressed as that. “I'm aware.”
“They don't usually have fancy leather couches in these. Maybe you should try the local–”
“Hey, Frida?” said a young voice in back. The crowd parted again, and a young man who couldn't have been more than sixteen stepped forward. “Not to call you wrong, but….Sheriff Haught is right.”
Frida turned slowly. “Right about what?”
“Well…” The young wolf seemed reluctant to proceed until someone nearby shoved him forward. “You see, me and the guys wanted to get you something for the bris. We figured you'd be on your feet a lot, so a nice recliner and couch would do you. We went to the dump to look around, and….well…”
The young wolf turned and walked towards the back of the bar. Frida went after him, followed by Wynonna and Nicole. The wolf opened the door and went outside, and there, sitting in a bright patch of sunlight, was Nedley's couch.
“Figured you'd appreciate a place to put your feet up, is all,” said the wolf.
“Oh….oh, Petey.” Frida turned and hugged the younger wolf. “You are just the sweetest, you know that?”
“Uh, excuse us?” interrupted Wynonna. “That's our couch. We came for it, and we're leaving with it.”
Frida let go of Petey and stepped forward. “Oh, really? It's yours? I don't see or smell your–” Frida suddenly stopped talking and sniffed the air. She leaned close to Nicole, took a brief sniff, and then headed over to the couch and took an even bigger one before nearly falling backwards. “Jesus! How much sex did you have on this couch, Sheriff?”
Nicole grinned and shrugged. “Just one or two times.”
Frida shook her head. “Forget what I said. Your scent is all over that thing. It's yours, and someone…” Her eyes turned to Petey. “...owes me a recliner and an explanation of why he couldn't tell someone else had marked it already.”
As Petey shrugged helplessly, Wynonna whispered to Haught. “Only once, huh?”
“That's what I said, more or less.”
“And that one time was enough to permanently cake that thing in yours and Waverly's….love?”
Nicole shrugged. “Apparently.”
“I'm gonna throw up for real one of these days with you two.”
Frida clapped her hands. “So!” she declared. “Sorry about that little mix-up. Given the circumstances, I guess we can forgive you interrupting the ceremony. If you need help moving the couch to wherever, Petey will be more than happy to lend a hand.”
“Thanks, but we got it covered,” said Nicole. “Once we get it into our truck, we'll be out of your hair.”
“Oh, no no no,” said Frida. “We took from you, so now we owe you. That's how karma works. Name it, and it's yours.”
Nicole looked at Wynonna. “Well, Wyn? Do we need anything from them?”
Wynonna thought about it and then held up her nearly empty bottle. “Well, I wouldn't be averse to a bottle of some good whiskey, if you have any. And I mean good. None of that cheap Bagpiper or Canadian Mist shit.”
“Oh, you…” Frida laughed. “Follow me, ladies. We've got some whiskey that'll knock your bras off.”
I’ll live and die
I’ll live and die by me
I’ll do it right, I’ll always do right by me
I’ll live and die
I’ll live and die by me
I’ll do it right, I’ll do right by me
It was almost sundown by the time Wynonna, Nicole, and Sandy made their way to the Traveler's Rest motel. The wolves had been extremely enthusiastic to Wynonna's style of party and even more impressed by her ability to handle something designed to get creatures twice her size intoxicated. Once they saw how well she could handle their own stuff, it was almost a challenge to see what she couldn't handle, and many a wolf had been left lying on the floor moaning.
The truck was turned off and Nicole and Wynonna looked back to where Sandy sat in the truck bed, keeping a firm grip on the couch. “You good?” asked Nicole.
“As a tree,” said Sandy. “Just tell me where you want this – Oh, okay. I got it.”
“Got what?” said Wynonna, as the truck groaned under Sandy's weight as she removed the couch. Wynonna stepped out of the vehicle and looked at the scene before her. “Oh, Haught, you didn't…”
“I did.” In front of them, right in the middle of the motel parking lot, every piece of furniture that had once been in Nedley's office was laid out almost precisely as it had been. A desk was set neatly in one corner with an unplugged computer on top. An ugly brown lamp was set up on a small table near where Sandy was straightening the couch. The only thing missing from the scene was Nedley's mug.
Wynonna turned and smirked at Nicole, standing beside her. “You total sap.”
Nicole shrugged. “And proud of it.” Nicole looked up at her other friend. “Thanks for the help, Sandy. I owe you.”
“Hey, you got rid of that crabby thing that was haunting my woods for months. This is me paying you back.”
“Well, I still appreciate it. Thanks.”
“No problem, Red. See you when I see you.” The sasquatch turned, then paused. “Hey Earp.”
Wynonna turned. “Yeah, furball?”
Sandy rolled her eyes. “Forget it. Just….I'm glad you're back. For her.”
Wynonna’s eyes widened, but she just laughed and shrugged. “Hey, what else was I gonna do? Hang out in a boring garden when all the fun was on this side?” Wynonna took a drink of her whiskey, then belched loudly. “See you later, Sandra.”
Sandy nodded and headed off in the direction of the nearest treeline. Nicole watched her go and then went to collapse into one of the couch cushions. “I'm exhausted.”
Wynonna hmmmed. “I keep telling you to be less of a lightweight. That's why things hit you so hard when the drinks start flowing.”
Nicole lifted her head, wincing only a little at the pain the movement caused. “You have never once said that to me.”
“I've thought it pretty hard. Aren't best friends supposed to be able to know each other's thoughts?”
“I don't think that extends to actual telepathy.”
“Well, that's on you for not being born psychic. ‘Course, if you were, you probably could have moved here a lot sooner, met Waves and me in high school, and saved us a ton of Champ problems.”
Nicole closed her eyes. “Wynonna….”
Something in her tone must have alerted Wynonna. “What's up, Red?”
Nicole opened her eyes, looked at her best friend, thought about what and who was waiting for them back at home, and sighed. “Forget it.”
Wynonna frowned and moved to sit on the opposite end of the couch. “Haught,” she said cautiously. “What is this?”
“Nothing,” said Nicole. “I just…” She shook her head.
“Just what?” Wynonna pressed.
Nicole turned to face her best friend. “I just thought I could maybe take your mind off things for a few hours, and maybe….”
Wynonna waited. “Maybe what, Nic?”
Nicole turned her head and saw that drunk Wynonna had, at least for the moment, left the area. The Wynonna she saw was alert and focused and seemed genuinely concerned. “I thought maybe…” She hesitated, but Wynonna remained silent, letting her get to it in her own time. “Maybe I could….ask you something?”
Wynonna grinned. “Is it how to do your hair for the wedding? Because long and curled like mine is trademarked, but I guess I can lend it out for a day–”
“No, not….not that.” Nicole sighed. “God, I thought this would be easy.”
“Haught, it's me. Whatever it is, just say it.”
Okay, then. “Alright. I thought maybe I could ask you for….permission. To marry Waverly.”
Wynonna stared. “Um, Haught? Not sure if you realize, but you're already kind of engaged to Waverly. Little late to be asking for permission.”
“I'm engaged because she asked me, and also because Jeremy popped a question about popping the question.”
“So what, you're saying you don't want to be engaged to someone I've heard you describe as ‘an actual angel’ even before finding out she was an actual angel?” Wynonna laughed and shook her head. “Sorry, bestie, I'm calling bullshit. Besides, even if you hadn't wanted to right then, if you had seen her when she came to fetch me in from the front yard, you'd know that she was definitely going to be asking you that night.”
“Well, I will admit it was nice to not be interrupted by an end-of-the-world briefing–”
“Okay, listen–”
“–but I had still been hoping to make my own proposal, and it would really mean a lot to me if you said yes.”
Wynonna sighed and stared down at the couch. “God, you really are a hopeless romantic, aren't you?”
“That has been said, yes.”
“And this is definitely Nedley's old couch?”
“Yup.”
“Where you two–”
“I'll foot your dry-cleaning bill.”
“Goddamn right you will,” growled Wynonna, but Nicole knew it was just a front and waited. Finally, Wynonna sighed. “Fine. If it's really that important to you….” She sighed again and then said something that sounded like, “Youhafmypission.”
Nicole grinned. “What was that? I'm gonna need you to speak clearly.”
Wynonna shot her a look that could have incinerated Nicole. “You…have…my…fucking…permission…you…ginger…bitch.”
Nicole laughed and leaped across the couch, wrapping her sister-in-law-to-be in a big hug. “Okay! Okay!” screamed Wynonna. “I said you could marry her! That doesn't mean add me to the list of Earps you've fucked on this couch!”
“You wish,” laughed Nicole, but she pulled back, still smiling. Wynonna was brushing herself off, but Nicole could tell she was smiling too. “Thanks, Wynonna.”
“Yeah, yeah. I'll start planning the bachelorette party, weirdo.”
“Really?”
“Uh, yeah. What kind of friend or sister would I be if I didn't call up all the best strippers in town to celebrate?” Wynonna gave Nicole a big one-armed hug. “Here's to you, Haught, for making a dishonest woman out of my sweet innocent baby girl.”
Nicole chuckled. “Shame we don't have any liquor left to complete the toast.”
“Oh, you of little…littleness.” Wynonna dug around between the couch cushions, smiled, and pulled out an old bottle of Lot No. 40 whiskey. “See? The Nedley provides.”
Nicole just stared. “Okay, how did you know about that?”
“The nose knows, Nicole.” The Earp heir laughed as she cracked open the bottle, sharing a much-needed drink with her future sister-in-law and forever best friend.
Just keep breaking and breathing
Just keep breaking and breathing
I'm breaking, I'm breathing
I'm breaking, I'm breathing