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The smell of burnt tomatoes wafted through the skeleton household when the front door swung open. "SANS, IS THAT YOU!?" Papyrus, wearing an apron over his battle body, ran from the kitchen to greet his brother, an excited grin on his face. "BROTHER! YOU'VE COME JUST IN TIME TO HAVE A TASTE OF MY LATEST CULINARY MASTERPIECE!"
"oh, that's fine," answered Sans, still standing in the doorway, hand on the knob, as if using it for support. "i just ate." His voice was hoarse, his eyes were half-open, and he smelled of condiments and despair. The smile on his face hadn't gone anywhere. "SANS!" spouted Papyrus, very obviously irritated. "DID YOU JUST SPEND ALL DAY AT GRILLBY'S AGAIN!?" "i guess you could say i'm a grillbaholic." Sans gave a very half-hearted chuckle. "THAT WAS BARELY EVEN A PUN, SANS."
Sans stood there silently, his head sinking, and for just a moment, Papyrus didn't know what to say. "WELL, MAYBE YOU CAN HAVE A TASTE NEXT TIME, THEN." He frowned. "EVEN IF THAT'S WHAT I SAID THE LAST TEN TIMES. JUST COME IN ALREADY. YOU'RE LETTING THE COLD IN." "we're skeletons. we don't get cold." "IT'S THE PRINCIPLE OF THE MATTER!" Papyrus was fuming, but simultaneously worried. Even at his worst, Sans wouldn't let a chance for a pun slip by him like that.
Sans finally straightened his back as he stepped in, almost tripping over himself as he closed the door behind him with a loud bang. With shaky steps, he began to head for the staircase as Papyrus watched him go. "YOU'RE NOT JUST GOING TO GO NAP, ARE YOU?" Sans turned his head to look back at his brother. "sorry, bro, i'm just, uh." He closed his eyes for a second, then another. "bone tired." Papyrus threw his hands into the air as he trousled around Sans, blocking his path. "IT'S ONLY SEVEN IN THE EVENING, LAZYBONES!" Sans barely seemed to react, and Papyrus was taken aback. Sweat began to accumulate on his skull. Yet, he had to try. "THERE IS STILL SO MUCH TO DO TODAY!" Sans stood there silently, before finally, without moving his head, his eyes floated to the top of his sockets to meet Papyrus' nervous gaze. "Like what?" He spoke slowly, with no hint of his usual levity. Papyrus coughed, and felt knots forming where his stomach would be. "W-WELL!" His eyes darted across the room as he tried to avoid Sans' stare. "MAYBE YOU CAN..." Papyrus had nothing.
Sans dropped his head and let out a deep sigh. "sorry." Suddenly, Papyrus was filled with fervor he the likes of which he hadn't felt in a long time. "DON'T APOLOGIZE, SANS!" He grabbed his brother by the shoulders and picked him up, as his eyes shot wide open. "OBVIOUSLY, IF THE PROBLEM IS THAT YOU'RE BORED, THEN WE MUST BRAINSTORM..." Papyrus gently set Sans on the sofa, before sitting down beside him. "...A HOBBY OR TWO FOR YOU!"
Sans was stunned. "wow." He was now the one sweating. "pap, i'm really flattered and all, but..." Before he had a chance to get up, Papyrus had already reached around him, and, with a firm grasp, was holding him down. "NOT SO FAST, SANS!" At this point, Papyrus was screaming in Sans' nonexistent ear. "IF YOU'RE HAVING TROUBLE, THEN I, THE GREAT BROTHER PAPYRUS, MUST BE THERE TO HELP YOU!" Accepting his fate, Sans turned to face his brother. "alright. whatcha got, pap?" Papyrus cleared his throat, and tried to look cool. "WELL, FIRST OF ALL..."
The two brainstormed for a while.
"MAYBE YOU COULD TAKE COOKING LESSONS FROM UNDYNE!"
"nah, that's more your thing. besides, you know my hot dogs are already a -mustard- work."
"WELL, MAYBE WE CAN MAKE SOMETHING OF THAT!"
"how about we get a pet?"
"I AM THE ONLY PET THIS HOUSEHOLD NEEDS! AND FURTHERMORE A DOG WOULD PROBABLY BE IN BAD TASTE IN THIS TOWN."
"how about a pet rock?"
"AS LONG AS I DON'T HAVE TO FEED IT!"
"SINCE I'M WORKING HARD TO JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD, WE COULD BE GUARD BROTHERS!"
"you know i'm too wimpy for that, bro."
"TRUE. AH, BUT WHAT ABOUT A SENTRY?"
"hmm. sounds just low-effort enough for me."
"PERFECT! WE'LL GO TELL UNDYNE TO GIVE YOU THE JOB RIGHT AWAY!"
"uh, bro, the last time you went to undyne's at this hour, she almost lopped your head off with a spear."
Papyrus turned his head to the clock on the wall. It was already 10 past midnight. "WELL!" He turned his head back to Sans. "WE'LL JUST GO TOMORROW, THEN." Sans nodded. "probably for the best." There was an awkward moment of silence. "WELL, IN THAT CASE, NOW WHAT?" "now?" Sans stood up and looked down at his still-sitting brother, winking. "it's time for your bedtime story, isn't it?"
It wasn't long before Papyrus was lying cozily in his racecar bed, intently listening as Sans, sitting on the floor, rattled the story of Fluffy Bunny, mostly from memory.. "...and it all went pretty well, after that. the end." He closed the book, which he was barely even reading. Papyrus squinted his eyes. "SANS, I CAN'T HELP BUT FEEL THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE ABRIDGED THE STORY A TAD." "eh." A shrug. "i get lazy." "I THINK I WILL ALLOW IT JUST THIS ONCE!" Papyrus was positively glowing at his brother. "AFTER ALL, YOU'VE JUST SPENT ALL NIGHT HANGING OUT WITH THE GREAT PAPYRUS!" Sans chortled as he stood up. "i guess a cool guy like you can be a bit tiring." "OF COURSE!" The two brothers shared a laugh. "well." Sans leaned over, and gave Papyrus a peck on the forehead to the best of his ability. He had no lips, you see. "g'night, bro." Papyrus, still grinning, replied with a hearty "GOOD NIGHT, SANS!"
That night, Sans had a full night's rest for the first time in forever.
Papyrus didn't sleep at all. But that's normal.