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It had been a nice day, not in regards to weather but rather the way they’d spent it. Tranquil, allowing them to stay together with no set schedule to follow. One of those days when the air was thick with humidity and the asphalt streets seemed to emanate heat. It was one of those days when you don’t expect rain at all so you leave without an umbrella.
It had been a mistake.
Chay had asked Kim to run some errands with him. Kim hadn’t understood why: Chay was perfectly capable of running errands on his own. Hell, Kim could’ve arranged for someone else to buy the few groceries and self care products Chay said he needed. But his boyfriend insisted they go together, and when he looked at Kim with those big black eyes, how was Kim supposed to deny him?
Chay opened every single bottle of hair conditioner and made Kim smell them too before settling on the same exact brand Kim had seen in his bathroom already. Kim wasn’t surprised, he just smiled at Chay as he put it in the shopping basket. He told Chay that it was his favorite as well. He didn’t tell him that he had never considered that brand before getting with Chay, never thought he’d love the smell of cacao seeds and shea butter this much. But every time they cuddled on Chay’s couch or his bed the smell was right under his nose, and now Kim couldn’t help but crave it when he wanted to unwind.
Kim quickly became a fan of running errands. As long as he got to do that with Chay, that is.
Staying in each other’s company made time go by quicker, even if they didn’t talk. It was so cute, the way he pouted while focussing on which brand of instant noodles had the best price, the way he got excited when his favorite brand of soda was on discount.
Yet Chay didn’t hesitate to grab some chocolate for Kim when he thought he’d like it.
Chay fussed when Kim took the bag from him but not enough that Kim didn’t know that to be exactly what Chay had expected of him. It was the kind of gesture a romantic interest would do in a movie, so Kim knew he’d appreciate it.
Kim had clocked Chay’s love for romantic movies very quickly. At first he’d seen it as something a bit childish; He’d thought it made it easy for people to fall into Chay’s good graces.
But Chay was more than that.
He seemed to genuinely like those things, not just for show, but because it was how he’d learned to read affection. The realization had saddened Kim: how could that be the only frame of reference for such a wonderful boy? But Chay said that it was alright, and Kim quickly understood that he could make it so.
It wasn’t easy for Kim to express his feelings. A lifetime of needing to be guarded or be manipulated by mafiosos will do that to a boy, but with him…. it had earned him a reputation for being cold, for being mean, for being overly analytical. Kim simply didn’t know how to be anything but all that, how was he supposed to know? He didn’t have Tankhun’s flamboyance or Kinn’s string of partners to practice with. He didn’t know how to show people he loved them, but Chay came with all but an instruction manual.
Kim finally had a way to show he wasn’t a slab of ice, that he was his own person. Even if it felt silly, at times. It was the small things, the small gestures that reminded Chay he thought of him, he was cared for. Even the things that Kim had once thought cheesy made Chay’s eyes light up and his cheeks flush. Kim could show Chay he cared about him in ways that hadn’t been beaten out of him already.
So, if it meant picking up the grocery bags, he’d be happy to; if it meant serenading him every now and again, he sang sweeter than usual.
While they were in the grocery store the humidity that had lingered in the air all day long started to precipitate. By the time they were ready to leave, it was pouring, rain falling with such a crashing sound that it was difficult to hear any sound over it. Kinn decided to take off his jacket, hoping the leather would offer some degree of protection from the rain.
They still got soaked, obviously, and Chay was shaking like a leaf in the wind, but at least Kim didn’t feel guilty about laughing at him a little.
They set the grocery bag down by the door so it wouldn’t drip all over the house and Kim hung his jacket nearby. Chay took a few moments to try and figure out what the next move was supposed to be. Kim took a few moments to revel in how pretty his boyfriend was.
His hair was all ruffled and messy with rain, the drops still hung on his eyelashes like constellations. He’d probably sucked on his lip, drinking the rainwater in, if the way it was so red and shiny was any indication. He was beautiful, almost ethereal.
Then Chay shook the water out of his hair, letting it spray everywhere, and Kim couldn’t help but laugh.
“You look like a wet puppy,” he said. Chay pouted, clearly unhappy with the comparison. Kim didn’t give him the time to complain that it was mean as he drew him in for a kiss.
He made sure to run his hands down Chay’s hair, using the rainwater as a gel to somewhat style it back. Chay’s arms found their rightful place around Kim’s waist, his knees going weak as Kim explored his mouth. By the time they separated, Kim was the only thing keeping Chay from falling, seeing as his legs certainly weren’t holding any of his weight.
Kim’s hands were still tangled in Chay’s hair while his eyes spoke of being hopelessly lost in a dream.
“You look great with your hair pushed back,” Kim said.
“You look great,” was Chay’s response.
“When I’m wet?” Kim chuckled. He was always amazed at how easy it was for him to be happy around Chay, but to make these kinds of childish jokes? Kinn would’ve been proud of him, but at what cost?
“No, in general.”
“You think you don’t?”
Chay looked away and the smile died on Kim’s lips. He moved his hand so he could rub his thumb against Chay’s cheek, moving it back and forth. He pushed ever so lightly so that he could get him to meet Kim’s eyes.
“You think you don’t?” he asked again.
“It’s okay,” Chay tried to cover his ass now. “You look good enough for the both of us.”
Kim hummed. He put enough of his weight on Chay that he ended up stumbling back, crashing against the wall with Kim’s body weight keeping him pinned to it.
Kim made sure to brace the back of his head with his hands, but Chay still flinched.
“So, you don’t think you look good?” Kim asked, rubbing his fingers against Chay’s scalp in apology. “Even when you have lips like these?”
He moved one hand so he could run his thumb on Chay’s lips. He ran the shape of them with a featherlight touch, with a touch slow enough that Chay shivered. When Chay’s tongue darted out to lick at his fingertips, Kim pushed his thumb in. Chay was all too eager to suck on it, possibly because it gave him the certainty that Kim didn’t want him to answer.
“Even when you have a neck like this?”
Kim lowered his head to place a kiss on Chay’s neck. The taste of rain and salt mixed on his tongue. It was a tease, encouraging him to chase it out, sucking on the warm skin. Chay gasped, twitched against Kim’s body. Kim was going to revel in making him come undone.
“You don’t look good, yeah right.”
He slides his hands under Chay’s shirt, swiping the water away from the skin with a thumb.
Chay lifts his arms to help Kim take his shirt off. This wasn’t a thing they did often. Kim had assumed it was because Chay was inexperienced, but if it turned out to be some misguided idea that he wasn’t attractive enough…
Kim was slow in his exploration despite his instincts begging him to dive in the new expanse of skin. He hoped his adoration didn’t scare Chay away now, but all he could do was put his mouth to work, and whenever his lips were free, he spoke.
Kim kissed his chest and, as he moved to lick at the skin stretching over his sternum, his mouth said: “When you’ve got the most beautiful heart.” He bit one of Chay’s nipples and when Chay flinched he soothed the pain with his tongue.
“You’ve got the most perfect little nubs. I could stay here forever.” he licked and kissed at every inch of skin he could get his mouth on as he kept moving down his body. He kept dropping praise every step of the way.
He didn’t even know he had it in him. Yet he meant every word, his very soul was speaking with the honesty no confessional booth could ever evoke in him.
Chay squirmed and whined the whole time, he kept moving his hands about, clearly unsure what to do with them, what to do with his pleasure. As he reached Chay’s soft tummy, Kim felt the press of Chay’s hardening cock, but what caught his attention was the way he felt Chay go stiff under his touch.
Not once had Chay asked him to stop, but Kim knew that something was wrong. With his hands firm on Chay’s hips, and his chin pressing against his tummy, Kim looked up at his boyfriend.
“Are you alright?” he asked.
Chay nodded, but needed a few tries to find his voice. “Yeah,” he said, but he was raising his hands to cover his face. Kim decided to give him a few moments to recover.
“Yeah, it’s just… a lot. With, the words and- i-”
Kim kissed Chay’s hips in the most innocent way he could muster.
“You know we can stop, right?”
Chay moved his hands away so he could peek at Kim through them. “But you…”
Kim tried to give him the time to finish that sentence, but Chay’s voice had simply pittered off and now he looked dangerously close to hiding behind his hands again.
“I’m fine either way. All I want is for you to be happy,” He says, and the flavor of truth has never bloomed so clearly on his tongue. Huh.
Here he was, the youngest of the scariest family in Thailand. He was feared and respected enough that he’d been given a chance to make a name for himself away from the family business. He was as close to a free man as his bloodline had gotten in generations. And now he was kneeling at the mercy of a kid he’d once thought he could play; and all he wanted was to make him happy.
Chay finally said: “Could we just… cuddle, for now?”
Kim smiled at him as he stood from the ground. “Let’s just get dry first.”
“Alright.”
“Do you want to put on a movie? We could share that chocolate bar you got me.”
“That sounds really good, yeah.” Chay was already moving deeper within the house, his hold of Kim’s hand unwavering. The smile on his own lips took Kim by surprise.
“Chay.”
“Yes?”
“Can I kiss you?” Porschay smiled at him, something in his eyes going soft. He leaned into Kim as he kissed him slowly and warmly. It was sweeter than any chocolate could ever hope to be.
The rest of their day went as they’d discussed. It was a nice day.