Chapter Text
Regulus remembered very well the first time he had met his older brother’s friends. Very vividly, in fact. He had dreaded Sirius’ first year away from 12, Grimmauld Palace, and curled himself in his brother’s bed as he quietly tried to remind himself about how it felt when his brother pet his head or played with him, inside those grim walls.
So when over the summer holidays, his Sirius’ only topic of conversation were his three roommates, he brimmed with excitement, watching the older Black re-enact the light-hearted moments he shared with those he called “his boys”, so, of course, he was looking forward to meeting them.
Yet, for the first time, Regulus felt alienated in his brother’s present. Sirius had always been a little too loud for his mother’s taste, which often landed him rather unnecessarily harsh punishments, but he had never seen him this happy. Not when Regulus presented him with a new origami he had made, not when they got to stargaze together from their father’s studio, or better yet, out in the garden.
Regulus shifted a little uncomfortably in his place, a good quarter an hour of the train ride in, and his gaze met James Potter’s. The eleven-year-old moved his gaze out to the window, his fingertips running over his wand with a feather-like touch.
James immediately noticed Regulus’ uneasiness, and his smirk grew wider, deforming his face into a bowl of smugness and brotherly affection.
A whisper broke the silence that had settled between the two, as James sat facing the soon-to-be first year. “Oi, Regulus.” The one addressed slightly clenched his jaw and tapped his fingers on his knee, his posture oddly refined and elegant for such a young boy. Despite not receiving a response, the older boy, whose skin shone like cinnamon under the sun hitting their cabin, did not become discouraged. “What’s your wand like?” He beamed, leaning in towards him like he was about to be told a secret. Regulus, feeling rather observed by the dark haired boy, stretched his hand towards Sirius for comfort, only to find the cold fabric of where his brother had been, now leaning against one very amused Remus as he plotted about some new prank they wanted to pull, and he felt the disappointment sink deep in his stomach, expanding so much to almost knock the air out of his lungs.
“Black Walnut, 9”... A Phoenix feather core.” He murmured, looking down at his new most prized possession. It was smooth, but rigid and rather shiny, almost like a lacquered chopstick, rich brown wood contrasting with Regulus’ rather milky and pale complexion, and the small scars littering his hands.
“A Phoenix core!” James nearly lunged from his seat towards Regulus, and he immediately leaned back into his seat, wanting nothing more than to disappear, yet again, James’ puppy-like expression did not fade, not even a little bit. Merlin, it was beyond Regulus how this boy could be so irritating after they had exchanged two sentences with eachother. How did his big brother consider this his best mate?! Regulus’ sharp brain couldn’t come up with a logical explanation, in the split second it took for James to lean in, with their noses almost brushing against eachother.
“Hey, mate, you’re gonna suffocate him, give him a little space.” Remus, who’s gaze had been looking for something to concentrate on other than Sirius’ handsomely mischievous expression, as he invaded his personal space.
“Oh, right, sorry mate.” James retreated, and Regulus simply shook his head dismissively, putting his wand back into the inside pocket of his cloak, and he thought the boy was much less unbearable when there was a decent distance between the two.
“Sorry, I… got a little excited, I mean, no one in the group has a wand like mine! I mean, Remus has Unicorn hair, and so does Pete. Not my favourite core, if I have to be honest, the hairs die out rather quickly and have to be replaced really often. Siri’s is Dragonstring and now the two of us have Phoenix feather and we’re matching!” James rambled, gesturing around with so much excitement that he almost smacked Peter with the back of his hand a few times, and Regulus seemed not so oddly still anymore, listening curiously to the older boy’s little ramble.
“You must be passionate.” Regulus nodded, watching him with a measured curiosity that didn’t show clearly in his trained expression, but his gray eyes glittered with child-like excitement, and that did not go unnoticed by James, who nodded vehemently.
“Yeah! Totally! I was really excited when I went to Ollivander’s for the first time, it took him really long to find a suitable wand, so he explained a lot of things to me! Since then, I’ve loved hearing about people’s wands! Some say that it tells a lot about people’s characters.” And he went on a tangent once again, earning a half chuckle from Remus, now freed from Sirius’ idiotic ideas, which were now being spilled to Peter.
Still, this all felt somewhat… wrong to Regulus… he never liked sharing his brother with his cousins, but they rarely came over to Black Mannor, so it wasn’t an issue for him, yet, he felt so wrong in the midst of all these excited boys, and his big brother, didn’t feel so much “his'' anymore.
With laughter and excitement filling the cabin, the ride went rather smoothly, despite the odd feeling in the pit of Regulus' stomach, he put up with his brother’s new friends, even if he felt like he wasn’t supposed to be there.
Once he got separated from Sirius and joined a group of excited little first years, though, his uneasiness had only worsened, and the pit in his stomach felt like an entire hole by the time he was standing in the Great Hall, besides Pandora Lestrange, his cousin, who nearly bumped into to him as they were hopping onto the boats.
When Minerva McGonagall called his name, a few whispers started traveling around the Great Hall, especially in the Gryffindor and Slytherin tables, as they speculated on the house the second heir of the Noble House of Black would be sorted into. Sirius was very confident his little brother would’ve been a Gryffindor, either that, or a Ravenclaw, the boy had always been bloody brilliant! So he wouldn’t be surprised.
Yet once Regulus sat down, a solemn, calm expression etched into his childish features, that were long from being fully developed, yet already had a certain sharp edge to them, the Sorting Hat hesitated. Regulus, deep deep down, hoped to be sorted with his brother, after waiting for so long to be together with his brother again, he would’ve been heartbroken if he had to be separated from his brother once again, yet he had never been known for being particularly brave.
Hearing the hat’s voice in his head, made Regulus feel like someone had been scratching a blackboard, it was a deafening sound that wouldn’t stop ringing inside his head. Meddling with his hidden secrets and touching his thoughts with its figurative hands, made him almost rip it off his head. But he sat still, elegant like his mother always required him to be when he was being paraded to other pureblood wizard families.
“Slytherin!” The Sorting Hat yelled, making the Slytherin table roar in excitement and cheer on the little boy, but Sirius frowned. As he was getting off the stool, Regulus did not have the courage to look at his brother and see the disappointment in his expression. He had never been known for being particularly brave, after all. He held his head high and took a seat, as some Slytherins still cheered him, some of them he recognized to be distant relatives or cousins of his, all of them praising him for not being a “bloody-traitor” like his disgrace of a brother, and Regulus’ heart swelled a little bit with pride. He was wanted, they were excited about having him, it was the same feeling Regulus felt in his chest when Sirius showed him off, a proud, brotherly expression carved into his face. Once he looked at Sirius again, though, he was met with nothing but disdain and disappointment, and his heart deflated like a balloon that had popped.