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Castiel and Dean stood in front of the burning remains of Sam. The two watched as his body that was wrapped in linen started to catch fire, they were unmoving and not speaking to one another. They were both in shock, it was inevitable that Sam would die but they could have never expected it to happen this early in his life. What would become of his brother? Dean always says that he would still keep hunting but he always knew he couldn’t do it without his brother, Dean had always relied on Sam in the past even through all their arguments, Sam meant the world to him and not having him was eating him alive.
And what would become of Castiel? Sam had grown fond of the angel as they grew closer, from admiration of saving Dean from Hell to how their relationship is today, especially with Sam’s feelings towards him. With Sam dead he’ll never be able to confess his love for the angel. You could say that Sam dying only matters because he is being taken from the people he loves and that Sam would realise this if he was conscious. He wouldn’t care if he was dead because he would be missing these people.
The flames of the bonfire continued to lick around Sam’s body, the wrappings now engulfed in fire. Dean hung his head low, whispered something unintelligible, he then began to walk away with a sombre expression on his face.
“Dean, where are you going?” Castiel asked. Dean didn’t respond, he opened the door to the Impala and started the engine.
“Dean!” Castiel called out. Dean continued to not respond and slammed the door of the car shut, speeding off leaving Castiel and Sam’s burning body behind.
Castiel moved his attention back to Sam, he could feel the emotions come now. For the first time that he could remember, Castiel shed a tear, “Sam, how could this happen?” his voice was shaky as more tears came.
“This can’t be happening, I know you’re alive,” Castiel remarked, as if realising something.
“This isn’t real,” Castiel exclaimed, “Wake up, Sam,”
Wake up, Sam.
--
My eyes shot wide open. I laid in the dark room, my mouth dry and my chest hurting as I gasped for air. Not again I think to myself as I try to calm myself down, focusing on my breath. I’m glad I wasn’t alone in trying to keep my mind at rest, this nightmare never features Castiel so it could only mean that he is here with me. My eyes had adjusted to the darkness which allowed me to see him standing over me.
“Sam, is everything alright?’ Castiel asked, his face was tense with shock, “I came as fast a could when I noticed the stress you were going through,”
“Cas, I knew it was you,” I was relieved, my intuition was correct, “I’m sorry you had to see that”
“What was that? Why were you dead in your own dream?” he said, sitting on the edge of my bed.
I didn’t want to respond out of shame, it made me feel weak to discuss my feelings in this way but I have to be honest to Castiel, “I have these intrusive thoughts… about death,” I sat up and continued to elaborate, “Going through scenarios like the one you saw. It happens almost every night,”
“I’m so sorry to hear that,” he responded. Castiel was attentive to every word I said. I’ve never revealed this to anyone out of fear of ridicule but he was genuinely concerned for my well being, it must be why I love him so much. He might not understand what it is to be human, but he’s always been so generous and understanding towards me. I can trust him.
“I just wish you didn’t have to see that,” here comes the shame again, I wanted to crawl up into a ball of my own embarrassment.
“I’m always here to help,” Castiel came closer to me as he noticed my introversion, he placed his hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eyes, “I care about you, and I want you to be happy,”
I stared back at him, feeling his compassion made me want him even more, to be with him forever just to keep me safe, “I love you, Cas” my voice was breathy, as if I had been holding in that line for too long.
“I know,” he simply responded.
I leaned in to him and kissed him, it was what I was feeling at that moment. I didn’t know when I would get this opportunity, I was made more happy when he began to reciprocate my kiss. I wanted to stay like this, to be with Castiel to feel his love and his touch, to have him save me from my nightmares every night.
“Please watch over me tonight,” I whisper, not wanting to break our kiss.
“Of course,” he whispered back.
“In the figurative sense, don’t watch me sleep,” I had to clarify, knowing Castiel.
He chuckled, as if knowing I would make that clarification. He lowered me in the bed and kissed me one last time before standing up, “Good night, Sam,”
I allowed him to place his two fingers on my forehead, I was immediately put to sleep, free from any of my intrusive thoughts.