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I had known I was sharing a room with my closest friend, Spencer, on this case since we flew out of Quantico. But after a long day of profiling that fact had slipped to the back of my mind, so as I opened the door to our hotel room all I could think about was washing the day off me and laying down to sleep. When I stepped inside I suddenly remembered my roommate and immediately noticed our predicament, a double bed against the longest wall. With no other beds in the room. I walked in and turned back to Spencer who had walked in behind me.
“Oh,” was all he said.
“Stupid small towns and their one hotel.” I mumbled angrily. Thinking practically, Spencer assessed the situation and looked to a one person sofa chair in the corner of the room. Walking over to it, he said,
“I can sleep here, and you take the bed.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, you won’t get any sleep at all on that chair,” I told him.
“I’ll be fine sweet pea.”
I softened at his use of the nickname he had for me.
“No, Spence, I know you, and your sleep troubles, and we need you 100% for this case.”
“You say that every case when you’re worried about me.”
“That’s because we always need you.”
“Okay, you’ve won. This time.” He sighed.
I grinned cheekily at him.
“Good. Now I’m having a shower, unless you’d like to go first?”
“Be my guest,” he said as he unzipped his suitcase and pulled out a book.
I stood looking at myself in the slightly rusty mirror, finally clean and in my pjs. ‘He’s your best friend’ I thought to myself, trying not to worry about our sleeping arrangement. I grabbed my things and stepped out of the bathroom.
“Shower’s free Spence,” I said as I began putting away my dirty clothes and getting out my book and water bottle. He closed his own book and went to shower. When he shut the door I looked at the bed again, and slowly began to move towards one side. I pulled back the sheets and sat as close to the edge as I could and pulled the blankets over my legs. I tried not to think about how well we knew each other and relied on each other, and how close we’d become recently. I didn’t want to dwell on how it made me feel when he held my hand in his to ground me when we hit turbulence over the Midwest. I felt my face heat up, and before I knew it the man I was thinking about was climbing into bed beside me wearing matching pjs and mismatching socks. I didn’t even notice him until the bed moved, and he whispered,
“You sure you’re okay with sharing the bed sweetie?”
Shaken from my embarrassing thoughts, I turned and looked at him for a moment before my brain registered what he’d said.
“Hmm? Oh yes, that’s fine. You’re my best friend Spencer,” I told him distractedly. I looked into his amber eyes and noticed they were red and puffy.
“What’s wrong my dearest?” I asked gently.
“What? Oh nothing. It’s fine,” he said unconvincingly and shook his head, making his curls fall into his eyes.
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but I know it’s not nothing,” I whispered as I looked over his face and tucked a curl behind his ear. His cheeks turned pinker and he choked down a sob. He held onto me with his head over my shoulder as he told me of his grief.
“It’s the boy, Connor. All of the things he’s been through and then this happens to him. It’s not fair, he’s so innocent,” he cried.
“I know.” I cooed. “He deserves better.”
Spencer held me to him tightly, trying to get as much contact as possible.
“I’m sorry. It’s so idiotic, I’ve seen so many kids abused and tortured by someone they should trust, and this one kid sets me off,” he mumbled quickly.
I pulled back to look at him, and firmly said,
“Spencer. You’re allowed to cry, about whatever you like. And I will be here to hold and comfort you no matter what.”
I ran my eyes over his face, and realised how honest I’d been, with myself and with him. Embarrassed, I gently pushed his head back over my shoulder and kept my hand on his light brown curls.
His breath slightly more even, he carefully whispered in my ear,
“Could we lay down in bed?”
Without words I guided us onto a pillow and kept my arms wrapped firmly around him. Spencer looked into my eyes with soft reverence and brought his hand up to cup my cheek so lightly it was like a butterfly’s touch.
“Do, do you think he’ll recover mentally?” He asked as he shook his head slightly and blinked.
“I don’t know Spence,” I sighed. “I have hope for him.”
“How? He’s so traumatised right now.”
“You really don’t know?”
Spencer looked at me with confusion. I continued,
“Because, he reminds me of you. And you have overcome so much and continue to do so.”
“He reminds me of myself too,” Spencer said sadly as his eyes began to water again.
“I know, my dearest boy. I know.” Before he could keep wallowing, I praised him,
“I am so proud of you Spencer Reid.”
With a low voice and wide eyes, he said,
“Do you really mean that?”
“Of course I do. You’re, you’re the…” I trailed off, suddenly shy of telling him how much he means to me.
“I’m the what?,” he whispered, his breath hitting my face next to his on the pillow and his grip on my cheek slightly firmer.
“You’re the best person I’ve ever met Spence,” I confessed.
He blinked, processing my words in his brain and then his cheeks turned as pink as his lips. He swiftly closed his eyes as he brought his face to mine and kissed me passionately. I melted under the feeling of his lips against mine and kissed him back, before registering what we were really doing in the logical part of my brain. Reluctantly, I pulled my head back and he made a soft noise like a whimper that made my heart shatter.
He tried to compose himself as I looked into his sad beautiful eyes, unable to speak to him.
In a small and rushed voice, he said,
“I’m so sorry. That was completely inappropriate of me, I know you were just trying to comfort me. I’ll sleep on the floor so you’re not uncomfortable. Sorry sweet pea.”
As he pulled out of my grasp on his waist, my brain switched back on and I grabbed his shoulder.
“Wait, Spencer. Please.”
He shuffled back to his place next to me hesitantly.
This time I held his face and kissed him, so softly our lips barely touched. I took a deep breath and told him the truth.
“I want this so much. I want you. But not just after you’ve been emotionally vulnerable with me and this could be transference because I was comforting you.”
He took a moment to collect himself and said with a grin,
“You really want me? He grinned. “But you’re right. It was the wrong time to act on my feelings, I’m sorry.”
I grew hopeful with the words he said, but still wanted to give him time.
“Can we talk properly about this in the morning Spence?” I asked.
“Of course sweet pea.”
“Is there anything else you’d like to talk about my dear?”
“No I’m fine, but thank you for listening to me. You’re a great friend.”
“Anytime sunshine.”
“Can you please, do you think you could, could.., hold onto me as we go to sleep?” He whispered shyly, avoiding eye contact.
“Anything for you Spencer.” I whispered back, tilting his face up so I could look into his beautiful eyes.
“Goodnight dearest,” I said as I pulled his lanky body close to mine, our legs and noses touching, arms around each other.
“Goodnight sweetheart.” He yawned.
I awoke to my 6:30 alarm, and went to turn it off only to find I couldn’t move my upper body due to the man laying his head on my chest and an arm around my torso. I smiled at the realisation of how well I’d slept with Spencer next to me, and ran my hand through his curls to help wake him up so I could turn off my alarm. Awakening, he lifted himself off me and muttered,
“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sleep on top of you.”
I sleepily reached over to hit my alarm and moved back, my hand guiding him back down to my chest.
“Shhh, it’s okay. How did you sleep?” I asked as my hand returned to his hair.
“Really well actually,” he whispered, obviously enjoying having his hair played with.
“That’s good Spence.” I didn’t want to leave this perfect moment with my best friend, but knew we had to talk about our relationship.
“Dearest boy?”
“Yes sweet pea?”
“Would you prefer to talk about it now or after we get ready for work?”
He shifted his head up to look at me, sincerity in his tired amber eyes,
“I’m ready to talk about it now.”
I swallowed and he pulled himself up onto the pillow to face me.
“You said-“
“You said-“
We both began. Smiling, I said,
“You first.”
“Last night you said, ‘I want this so much. I want you.’ Did you mean that?”
I smiled at his perfect recall of my words and took a deep breath,
“Yes Spencer. I did.” “You mentioned something about your feelings? Do, do you have feelings for me? Is that what you meant? Are sure it isn’t transference from comforting you last night?” I barraged him with questions.
With the surest and gentlest voice I’d ever heard, he said,
“My sweetheart, I have loved you for nearly as long as I’ve known you. I feel as though I have always loved you.”
I choked back happy tears at his words, and told him,
“I love you so much. I didn’t know what it meant until I met you.”
His eyes grew soft and large, and we kissed again and again, finally sure of our love for one another. Before letting ourselves get carried away, I pulled back regretfully and he whined as my lips lost contact with his.
“We need to get ready my dear boy,” I sighed.
“I know sweetie. I just wanted to make up for lost time,” he said with sad puppy eyes. I dragged my body out of bed and began dragging him with me.
“We can kiss again after we brush our teeth, I promise.” I bribed.
He grinned so wide he giggled slightly and agreed.
We moved to the bathroom and began brushing our teeth without words. It felt natural, like he was always meant to inhabit my personal and domestic space. After a lot of looking at each other in the mirror, we finished and I watched as he put his toothbrush away before pouncing on him. I grabbed him by the waist and head and pulled him towards me so his lips hit mine with force and our noses bumped. We both laughed and kept smiling as we kissed, getting slower and more intense by the second. He pulled away for breath, his chest heaving from lack of oxygen and his eyes heavily lidded and looking dazed. I imagine I looked similar after that kiss.
“We have to stop or we’ll never get to work,” I gasped.
He pouted, but nodded his head.
“One more kiss?”
“One more,” I rolled my eyes and kissed him gently.
“Okay Spence, we need to get dressed,” I said as we stepped out of the bathroom. I went over to my suitcase to get my clothes and started unbuttoning my top before realising who was still in the room and staring at me.
“Oh,” I blushed, looking at him.
“I don’t mind,” he said sincerely.
“I’m sure you don’t you naughty boy.”
He went pink but smiled anyway, comfortable with me.
“I’ll get changed in the bathroom if you’d prefer, sweet pea.”
“Thank you my dear. We’ll get around to that later.” I winked.
Laughing, he took his clothes into the bathroom and shut the door.
When he came out of the bathroom in his standard slacks and button down, he had his untied tie around his neck and the top few buttons undone, and he looked amazing. Unable to hold back, I jokingly wolf whistled in appreciation.
“You don’t look too bad yourself sweetheart,” he smiled.
“You’re so much smoother now that we’re together Spencer Reid. I’m going to have to figure out new ways to make you nervous,” I smirked and pulled him towards me.
“I hope so,” he whispered against my lips before we kissed.
We stood in front of the mirror stealing glances at each other as we continued getting ready, tying ties, doing hair, et cetera. Once I was ready I picked up my favourite cardigan and put it on my favourite boy, and we headed out the door ready to face whatever happened, with each other.