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Jay watches as Chip continues to punch Tucker. She doesn’t make any move to stop him, and Gillion seems too shocked to move at all.
She wonders what will happen when Chip finds out about her. Finds out about the Philosopher's Stone that she uses to live, finds out that she could probably save Nina and Alexander, finds out that she could probably return Gillion to his body.
She wonders if Chip will try to kill her too. Punch her senseless for lying, for killing, for watching others suffer, and most of all, for not helping.
She hopes that he does. She knows she deserves it. Worse yet, she’s afraid of Chip, not of his power—no, of his love. She doesn’t want to lose his friendship.
Jay steps forward, grabbing Chip's arm just as he prepares another swing, “It’s not worth it. He’ll be tried for his crimes later.” She makes a mental note to tell Führer Jayson that Shou Tucker should be punished greatly for what he’s done, though she knows she’s committed just as many sins as the man in front of her.
“I- Jay,” Chip says, his voice strained, and when he turns to her, she sees how dead his eyes are. She’s never seen him like this, seemingly without any fight left. A moment before he had been violent, his flesh knuckles bloodied and the servos in his automail whining at the stress. But she recognizes that the anger has seeped out from him, purged from his body when Jay had grabbed him, that her presence… Had calmed him. They were alike, similar. Chip and Gillion saw her as their equal, as someone who had committed the ultimate taboo and walked away. But she wasn’t . She was a liar, and a cheat, and she should never be forgiven. Is it her fault if she wants to be human, if she envies the feelings that Chip and Gillion have? Father will kill her if he ever finds out about these emotions. She knows he will.
“It’s going to be okay,” she whispers, pulling him close for a hug, “It’s going to be alright.”
Nina takes a few shaky steps forward, nosing at Chip’s metal hand. “Going… to… be… okay,” she says. Jay swallows, and squats down next to Nina, holding her head and brushing Nina’s hair from her face. With the sacrifice of four souls from her Stone, Jay alleviates some of the pain from Nina’s body. Is that equivalent exchange? Gillion stands up from the ground, the metal scraping against itself a little as he does so, seeming to sense that it’s mostly over.
“Let’s call Colonel Lafayette,” Jay says. “She’ll know what to do.”
Shou Tucker sits against the wall, where he’d been left by Chip. His face is coated in blood, a deep crimson not at all dissimilar from the color of the Philosopher’s Stone. As Nina stalks over to Shou Tucker and lays down, pushing her head against her father, Jay considers Chip and Gillion’s search for the Philosopher's Stone. Their reaction to this gross misuse of human life was so extreme, and here, in front of them, calming the two of them, and putting in a call to the Colonel so they don’t have to, was a Homunculus who’s core was a Stone. If they knew what a Stone was, what it requires to be created…
The Colonel picks up on the second ring. “Colonel Elizabeth Lafayette speaking,” She says, tired. The world is tired today, Jay thinks, and starts speaking:
“This is Jay Ferin, the Tinkering Alchemist,” she starts, her voice as steady as she can manage. “I’m at the home of Shou Tucker, the Sewing Life Alchemist with Chip James, the-”
“Cut to the chase,” the Colonel says, frustrated.
“Shou Tucker has-” It’s then that her voice finally breaks, but she tries to talk through it. “He has-” She stops again, and starts sobbing. Tucker’s foyer was so inviting, though a little claustrophobic, just a few days ago. But now it’s overwhelming, the tall ceilings seeming to lurch towards each other menacingly, and the bookcases now feeling as if they may topple over at any moment and crush them.
“Ferin?” Lafayette says, worry now sneaking into her voice, even just a little.
“Please, come quick,” She whispers into the phone, and then hangs up.
Jay Ferin is not her name. It’s never been her name. She is Envy. But right now, she wishes she was just Jay Ferin. Someone who isn’t a monster, someone who’s whole existence does not rely on the fact that others died.