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"On today's episode, Dean Winchester's girlfriend has cheated on him with 3 different men, and he's here to confront her about it! So Dean, tell me what this is all about?" Maury said, gesturing to the man who sat next to him.
"Well Maury, I've been married to Sarah for...." Dean began, before he was interrupted.
"Wait, you're married to her? For how long now have you been married?" He asked.
"We've been married for around 4 years, and together for about 6 or 7 years, including our marriage." He answered.
"So, you've been together for 7 years? When did you first find out about her cheating on you?" Maury asked.
"I first found out that she cheated on me with my brother when I was in hell." Dean said, leaning back in his chair. He scanned the audience, catching sight of the main camera man, who seemed oddly familiar, though he couldn't figure out why.
"She cheated on you with your brother!?" Maury said loudly.
"Yea, but I almost expected that one. I mean, I was in hell, after all! She didn't know if I was coming back, so I mean...." Dean's voice trailed off at that, as the memories came back.
"Anyways, that one didn't bother me so much, because it was only once. But then Cas, which I don't care about cause that was mutual." Dean said.
"How could that be mutual? You did say that she cheated with him, right?"
"Well yea, but we decided that we both wanted him. I don't think that counts as cheating, not really. But then, there's Lucifer. That one, I was pissed off about!" Dean looked closer at the camera man. He hadn't moved, except to unwrap a lollipop. It was the second one he'd seen the man eat so far.
"Lucifer?" Maury asked.
"Yea, she died and went to hell. It was about a month in our time, but she was down there for ten years. So I mean, I guess I can see why it happened, but I mean, she still slept with him! Got pregnant for him too!"
"Your wife had a baby with Satan?" Maury exclaimed. He sounded shocked!
"Yes. But that wasn't until after they came back. First kid was a miscarriage cause she couldn't carry to term in hell. The second kid happened after they came back, his name's Aiden and he's adorable. Love him to pieces, though I'm still not too fond of his dad." Dean explained. He couldn't seem to take his eyes off of the camera man.
"So, she had a child with another man? How do you feel about that?" He asked.
"Not to happy. Me and Lucifer fight a lot about that. But I don't blame the kid. It's not his fault." Dean said. He really did care for the kid, and refused to fight in front of him.
"Okay, so your wife had sex with your brother and best friend, as well as Satan, and had a kid for Satan. Well, lets bring them out here!" Maury said loudly. The audience roared at hearing that.
Sam walked out first, followed by Lucifer, with Cas as the last man out. The three of them took their seats by Dean. Sam smiled sheepishly at his older brother, while Lucifer shot Dean a nasty, smug look. Cas just sat there, playing on his phone.
"So, Sam. Why did you sleep with your brother's wife? Did you know that she was married at this point?" Maury asked.
"Yes, I knew that Dean and Sarah were together. But I mean, he was in hell the first time, and purgatory the second, and she didn't really have anyone. It was bound to happen at some point!" Sam said. Dean jumped up at that, and screamed.
"When I was in purgatory? Really Sam? Really?" Sam was surprised to learn that Dean hadn't known about the second time, and he said as much.
"So you had no idea that they had been together again?" Maury said.
"No, I had no clue." He looked over to his brother. "You sleep with her again lately, little brother? Knock her up too, then?"
"You know I haven't!" Sam said, before looking at the main camera man. He looked so familiar. Dean noticed where he was looking and glanced down as well. He still couldn't figure out if he knew the guy or not, but was he seriously eating another lollipop?
"And what about you, Satan?" Maury asked.
"Please don't call me that, my name is Lucifer. I slept with Sarah because I am in love with her. Ten years with a person will do that, you know? We have a beautiful son together, he's absolutely adorable, would you like to see a picture?" Lucifer said, holding out a small piece of glossy paper. Cas glanced over, and coo'd at the photo.
"He is adorable!" He stated.
"And what about you, Cas? You've slept with both Sarah, and Dean, haven't you? Do you want to explain that to the audience?" He asked.
Cas looked up then, and started to speak.
"Well, you see, Sarah and Dean don't always satisfy each other, so one or the other usually comes to me when that happens, and I take care of them. It isn't really cheating if their both okay with it, unlike Dean with Lucifer. He doesn't like that, not that I can blame him. My brother can be a bit, ahh, overwhelming, to say the least!" He explained.
"Oh, so you and Satan are brothers as well?" Maury asked, ignoring Lucifer's indignant reply of, "It's Lucifer!"
After a while of Maury taking to the four men, Dean and Lucifer got into a huge fight. At one point, all that could be heard was Dean screaming about how Sarah was his. Maury watched in horror, going so far as to call security after a few moments, as Lucifer decided to lift a chair over his head and chuck it at Dean. Dean dodged the flying chair, and watched as the man was dragged off of the stage by a big, burly security man.
"Okay, so lets call out Sarah and get her side of the story!" Maury said, as the audience went wild.
Sarah walked out from behind the stage and sat in a chair.
"Hi Maury." She said, with a little wave.
"So, you've cheated on your husband with his brother, best friend, and Satan? How do you explain that?" Maury asked her.
"Dean was in hell and then purgatory for a while, so me and Sam hooked up. And Cas is a mutual benefits kinda thing. Lucifer...that was a whole 'nother story!" She said with a slight chuckle.
"And you have a kid with him?" He asked.
"Yes, actually. Aiden. He's adorable, do you want to see a photo?" She pulled out the same picture that Lucifer had had with him. Dean shook his head at his wife, a fond smile forming on his lips despite himself. Cas just laughed and went back to texting someone. Probably Lucifer, to tell him what had just happened.
Sarah looked down at the camera man. She smiled as she recognized the man, and watched as he winked up at her, before unwrapping a Snickers bar and taking a bite of it. Before long, a man walked up onto the stage.
Crowley walked up to Sarah, and pressed a kiss to her lips, laughing as Dean shouted loudly.
"Yea, I slept with her too, bestie!" He said loudly, before choking slightly as a woman pulled him back by his shirt collar.
"You had better not of!" She screamed, before dragging him away.
"It was one time, Sasha! One time!" They could hear him shout, as he left with her!
"You slept with Crowley? The king of Hell!?!" Dean screamed at Sarah.
"What? He has a huge dick!" Sarah exclaimed!
Maury just threw his papers up in the air, muttering, "I've had enough. I quit!" As he walked off of the stage.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dean walked into the kitchen, seeing that his family was already there.
"Man, I had the weirdest dream ever last night. I was on the Maury show!" He said, as he grabbed Sarah's pack of smokes out of her hoodie pocket and lit one up. Sarah frowned, as she said that she'd had a dream were she was on the show as well.
"Me too," Cas said.
"So did I!" Sam exclaimed.
"I did as well," Lucifer pipped up. "It was about Sarah sleeping with all of us." He explained. Dean answered his phone, when he heard it ring. He hung up after a moment, explaining that it had been Crowley, saying that he'd had the same dream.
All that came out of Cas then, was, "Father be damned, Gabe!"