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He can still feel the gravel beneath his knees and the wind ripping against his face even in the safehold he finds himself in now, the others reassuring him it was secure. He could care less about the state of security he was in, right now all he wants to do is keep his promise and run out of there to save the only person he has left. But that would most likely be a death sentence as he is no longer a vessel. So he stays put and focuses on anything but the look in Fushiguro’s eyes as they stared back at him in Sukuna’s control.
Yuuji clenches his fist, fingernails digging into the skin of his palms. It's a grounding habit, giving him something to hone in on -- pain rather than guilt. It does its job most of the time, but today he can’t shake the nauseating sight of those markings on pale skin or the twisted grin sitting not quite right on familiar lips. His nails dig deeper as he hangs his head.
This is all his fault.
If only he hadn’t been stupid enough to make a deal with Sukuna, if he had set more restrictions, maybe this wouldn’t have happened, maybe he would’ve been strong enough to stop him -- he should have been strong enough to-
A hand lands on his shoulder and jolts him out of his thoughts. He cranes his neck and comes face to face with Yuuta Okkotsu. The older boy gives him a small, reassuring smile as he tilts his head to the vacant spot next to Itadori.
“Can I sit?” He asks softly, as if trying not to startle a cornered animal. Yuuji looks at him for a moment longer before nodding.
“Yeah, sure.”
He understands everyone’s hesitation to approach him, to be honest he isn’t sure he’d even want to approach himself, but being devoured by guilty loneliness isn’t quite better.
Okkotsu sits next to him, his shoulders falling in their usual hunch as he rests his forearms on his knees. It wasn’t long ago that he tried (and succeeded) in killing Yuuji, only to bring him back per Gojo’s wishes. He had wondered why Okkotsu even bothered, maybe they wouldn’t be here right now, deciding their next move, maybe Fushiguro would be safe .
He clenches and unclenches his fists, the stinging in his palms easing up a bit. Next to him, Okkotsu clears his throat.
“I know the burden you bear isn’t an easy one. You’re thinking that because you are strong, you should have been able to prevent anything from happening to those around you. You’re thinking it’s all your fault that you’re here instead of Fushiguro. You’re thinking you failed them all,” he says shaking his head, eyes fixed on the ground before them. Itadori drags his gaze to the same spot. “But you haven’t, Itadori.”
Yuuji opens his mouth to protest but the older boy cuts him off.
“I understand the fear of losing someone you love,” Yuuji watches as Okkotsu’s gaze drifts over to where a bright eyed Inumaki tries explaining something to Maki who then fires back what must be an insult for Inumaki sticks a tattooed tongue out at her. Okkoutsu’s lips turn up in a barely-there smile.
“I would tear the whole world apart just to make sure he’s safe.” He pauses, “And you could say that’s the guilt from everything that happened in my past, but it’s different. With him.” He nods towards his partner before looking back over to Yuuji. “It's different with Fushiguro too, isn’t it?”
Yuuji starts, feeling blatantly called out.
“I-” He contemplates denying it, but he knows he’s caught. His shoulders fall as he whispers, “It's all my fault.”
Okkotsu frowns at him, mouth open to contradict, but Yuuji beats him to it.
“It was supposed to be me,” he presses on. “ I was supposed to keep him at bay long enough to destroy him, but I wasn’t strong enough and now Fushiguro-” His throat goes tight as tears sting at his eyes.
“Fushiguro is going to be okay,” Okkotsu replies, gentle but determined.
“You don’t know that!” Yuujii whips his head to the other boy. “I’ve been trapped inside Sukuna so many times, I know what it feels like and I-”
A feeling akin to suffocation washes over his body. “I never wanted him to feel that. I never wanted him to have to sit back and watch while his body is used against his will. It- it’s too much.”
The tears spill over, splashing over shaking hands. “He’s different from me in ways that Sukuna is most likely using to his advantage while we just sit here and do nothing. I can’t lose him too,” Yuuji sobs. “He’s all I have left.”
Okkotsu shifts next to him and lets out a small hum. “Fushiguro is going to be okay, Itadori. He’s strong , and stubborn as I’ll get out.” The older boy makes it sound so certain, it helps to ease the pit in his stomach, but only a little. Yuuji sniffs and presses the heels of his palms to his eyes.
“You said you’d tear the world apart for him?” He asks, inclining his head in the direction of his upperclassman. This earns a noise of confusion from Okkotsu next to him.
“I- Of course I would, yes.”
Yuuji inhales, hands still over his eyes. “I would tear myself apart for Megumi.”
Okkotsu freezes next to him.
“That has always been my resolve. Consume Sukuna’s fingers, stop him from ever reincarnating fully, and then die.” He drops his hands to his lap, body deflating. “And at some point yeah, I realized that I was doing it for my own purpose, but also to protect Megumi from his own self-inflicted guilt.”
He takes another deep breath. “It became more than that, along the way, but that doesn’t matter anymore.” Silence consumes them for a couple of seconds before Okkotsu breaks it.
“If I was Maki, I may have wacked you over the head just now.”
Yuuji jolts, eyebrows scrunching as he looks over towards the other who is already staring back at him. “What?”
“I said, if I was Maki, I would-” Yuuji cuts him off, shaking his head.
“No, no I got that, but- what?”
The older boy shrugged. It seemed so nonchalant and not at all threatening, but Yuuji knows exactly what power rests underneath that cool demeanor.
“Do you really think any of us here would just let Fushiguro go?” He makes a sweeping hand gesture towards everyone else in the room, otherwise minding their own business. “We’re going to get him back, and you’re not going to be alone in doing so. We have your back, we’re here when you need to lean on us.”
To emphasize his point, Okkotsu bumps shoulders with his and Yuuji huffs. He shakes out his hands in his lap and takes a settling breath.
“I have some ideas.”
---
The battle had raged on for what felt like an eternity, the sting from losing Gojo hadn't hit Yuuji yet, instead focused on saving Megumi.
He and Higuruma had been landing back to back attacks on a fully manifested Sukuna in an attempt to strike him down with the Executioner’s Sword. They’re hope is that in doing so, they will not only be able to destroy Sukuna, but free Megumi as well.
Each exchange of punches and slices tire Yuuji further, but he pushes himself past all previous limits. He has to end this now, he has to save Megumi.
Sukuna makes the mistake of focusing solely on Higuruma and while the former takes him down, cleave by cleave, Higuruma locks eyes with Yuuji, entrusting him with what was next.
The weight of the Executioner’s Sword is nothing like any weapon he has held before, it was oddly light, and it had a strange sort of blazing energy. However, Yuuji wastes no time in stabbing it through Sukuna’s back.
The curse pauses his attacks, caught off guard from Yuuji’s own counter. Higuruma falls away but Yuuji only deepens the sword's impact.
“Let. Him. Go,” he practically growls at Sukuna. The curse laughs at his desperation but Yuuji was having none of it, he twists the sword and the laughing stops.
“He’s gone, brat.” It comes out as a half-laugh, half-cough as Sukuna struggles against the sword.
Yuuji knows not to believe a word he says but he can't stop himself from replying. “You’re lying.”
Another laugh. “Then I guess you’ll see for yourself. You’ll never be rid of me, never fully.”
He finishes with a cruel smile and the Executioner’s Sword releases a blinding light, sending Yuuji staggering back a few feet.
When it fades, Sukuna is nowhere to be found, and in his place, a body, curled up on the ground. The spiky black hair gives away who it is and Yuuji takes off, sliding to his knees next to Megumi.
“Fushiguro!”
His hands hover over the other boy’s body, unsure of what to do or where to touch. But before he can decide, Meguji groans as his body convulses and distressingly, Yuuji knows what comes next.
He retches, the sound cracking something open in the pink-haired boy. “Fushiguro?”
Yuuji ultimately settles on placing a gentle hand on Megumi’s back, attempting to comfort him when the other boy finally mumbles, “M’okay.”
He follows that with a spit which makes Yuuji grimace. “Sure you are.”
The dark-haired boy huffs and attempts to sit up and face Yuuji but he fails halfway through, shaky arms collapsing under him as he lands with an ‘oof.’
Yuuji immediately moves, hands grasping Megumi’s shoulders to help raise him into a sitting position. “Here-”
He adjusts so that the other boy is leaning his shoulder into him as he breathes through the disorientation.
Megumi grunts in appreciation. “Are they-” he pauses, taking a deep breath before continuing. “Are they dead?”
He knows the other boy means Tsumiki and Gojo.
Yuuji stiffens, he’s not caught off-guard by the question, it’s typical of Megumi to need to know. No, he freezes because he’s unsure how to answer.
His brain flounders for something, anything, but before he can say anything, Megumi shivers against him.
“If it’s taking you that long to answer, I already know.”
He watches as tears cut through the grime and dirt on the dark-haired boy’s face, his teeth gritting. Yuuji desperately wants to comfort him, to let him know it wasn’t his doing, but his body won’t react.
“I’m sorry.” Megumi whispers as the dam breaks, his sobs cleaving through the air around them. “I’m so sorry, Itadori.”
Yuuji breaks then, mind made up.
“No, Fushi, hey-” His hands find the other boy's face. “You have nothing to apologize for. Nothing. You are not responsible for Sukuna’s actions.”
Megumi’s sobs continue and he shakes his head at Yuuji’s statement.
“I-”
“You
didn’t do anything.” Yuuji says, cutting off that train of thought. “I know it’s easy to blame yourself for everything that he did, but that’s not fair, Fushi. You
never
blamed me. You made me feel like someone worth saving, and now it’s my turn to show you that you’re worthy of that same kindness.”
“I’m not.” Megumi chokes out.
Yuuji jolts at his confession. “Of course you are. You are someone deserving of good, of understanding, of love.”
The other drags his gaze to Yuuji’s and he tilts his head down to better meet green eyes.
“I mean it, Fushi. Every word.”
There still looks to be doubt in Megumi’s eyes, but the fight tires out of him and he settles on giving Yuuji a small nod.
He nods back in reassurance. “We need to get you to Shoko,” he says eventually.
Before he can move, Megumi positions his face into his neck, wrapping shaky arms around his torso.
Yuuji pauses, hands hovering above the other boy’s back before gently holding him. They stay there for a while until Megumi moves his face just enough so that he can say, “Thank you.”
It's whispered and Yuuji can feel it against his neck which causes him to shiver. But his only response is hugging him tighter.
They’ll have plenty of time to talk later, because right now, Yuuji just wants to memorize the feeling of Megumi in his arms, alive and safe. The other boy’s breathing evens and when Yuuji looks down, he sees that he fell asleep.
He smiles to himself, shifting his weight so that his companion sits comfortably in his arms as he stands up. The carnage around him whispers at him to look, but his focus rests solely on the boy in his arms as he makes his way around the debris.
Getting Megumi to Shoko is his top priority. He seemed fine, but there could be things Yuuji hadn’t sensed. And so, he makes the trip, eyes ahead in determination.
The world around them burns, but it can be rebuilt, it will be rebuilt.
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow when Megumi wakes.
Tomorrow when Yuuji’s world clicks back into place.
Because they’ll face it all when they’re ready, together.