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Humans like bastardizing things. With each era, humans take something with a rich history and break it into an unrecognizable joke. Cultures and traditions are lost, and each generation mimics new shallow traditions further corroding what was once perfect.
Lucifer called him a Grinch when he grumbled his theory aloud.
Yule was once a time for honoring the winter solstice, preparing for the new year and waiting out the winter. Protection and offerings are gimmicky decorations, like tacky Christmas stars. Gift giving became ridiculous. Humans ruined themselves as they always had, since creation. Even the celestials were altered, made into pacified version of themselves; toothless watchers. Michael had no clue what he was expected to learn from them. What was so great about them anyways?
Humanity changed Lucifer, Michael wasn’t sure for the better. His twin was selfish, especially in mercy. Michael asked for death, to die as a warrior. It would have been honorable, a neat bow to clean up a tangled mess. Instead Lucifer spared him, removing his wings and grounding him to Earth as punishment. How was that kind? It’s not like Michael had anything to live for. Not in a woe-is-me sense but logically. Without his work, running the Silver City or becoming God, Michael had no purpose. Dad was gone, his home was taken from him. If Lucifer was mature as he claimed he’d recognize that and gave him what they agreed on. Being on Earth was worse, seeing everyone happy while he was isolated and miserable. Lucifer had his stupid miracle, whom he threw his life away for.
Why did he want Michael too? He’s selfish, that’s why.
Lucifer’s stupid miracle should be enough for him. Hand-made by God because giving Samael a twin wasn’t good enough – Michael wasn’t good enough. Never was, not even to be God despite the meaning of his name. God made him a punchline before he acquired consciousness. Michael was a stepping stone for everyone, permanently under someone’s shoe.
Michael would have been better off dead. Certainly now, with his latest humiliation.
“For goodness sake, could you look any drearier? It’s New Year’s Eve!”
Lux was holding an exclusive New Year’s Eve party. It was an excuse for Lucifer and his pals to lose themselves in frivolous debauchery. Michael’s role in this was to assist in catering this shallow soiree. For hours he shuffled around the back, no better than leper assigned the solitary tasks that kept him out of the way. It wasn’t lost on him how demeaning they were; polishing glasses, laying out poppers and running through stock lists. Sabotage was tempting however Michael was through with the cheap thrill of fighting his pre-ordained fate. Nothing was worth doing since he was destined to fail.
“I’m doing what you asked,” Michael replied finishing the last section of the stock list. “My cheer doesn’t come with the package. I spent it all at Christmas.”
Michael doesn’t have to lift his head to see Lucifer’s expression. Millennia apart, Michael is cursed with a perfect memory. Samael – no matter his name or whatever delusion he’s clad himself in is the same. A head tilt followed by an innocent tongue click as if this problem had absolutely nothing to do with him. His eyes will search haplessly for a solution in Michael’s back before inevitably throwing his hands up in defeat. As if he cared to fix his messes in the first place.
“You could be in Hell, you know. The Detective wanted you there.”
Chloe’s name, even indirectly mentioned makes Michael roll his eyes. “Your precious miracle. What a pinnacle of fine decision making. Thankfully you aren’t that lovestruck.”
This would be where Lucifer would scowl, straighten his clothes to hide his ruffled feathers. Michael smirked temporarily relishing in the victory of irritating his twin. A small payback for that stunt he pulled.
“I will say this one time and one time only.” Lucifer yanks him by his bad shoulder, forcing Michael to turn. “You hurt her, you’ll get a fate worse than Hell.”
“Oh please. You’ve already outdone yourself.”
Lucifer has the audacity to look shocked. “Excuse me?”
Months of bending and scraping. Nights of sleeping on his stomach, twitching in agony over his lost limbs. Days of watching Lucifer fumble the position Michael practically had all but in name. Michael was unable to be silent for another moment.
“You took my wings. I can’t go home. I’m practically your servant. Whatever degradation you have up your sleeve pales in comparison to this.” And he slaps the stock list down on the counter.
“I’m trying to help you,” Lucifer argued.
“Oh, I feel the help. You might as well have sent me to a soup kitchen.”
“You need to appreciate humanity and work on that chip on your shoulder.”
Michael feels his fear like a draft on his neck. “Their waste and frivolous butchering on sacred rituals? You’re right Lucifer, humans are absolutely worth dying over.”
“I never said you had to die for all of humanity? Where the bloody hell did you get that idea from?”
“But that is what you want right? You want me to be like you, flying to my death for a human who was told to go home to her child – recently fatherless child I might add. But nooooooo. Your little Detective caught your stupid and it’s my fault she got hurt? You should have left her in Heaven.”
Lucifer’s mouth hangs open. He didn’t expect this. Linda warned him Michael was due to unload at some point. He expect vitriol or tears but, arguing his innocence was a curve ball. “You’re upset. You’re upset I would have died for Chloe.”
Michael can’t deny it. Until that moment he had no idea how much Lucifer cared about her. Even at his worst, Michael felt Lucifer deserved better. Chloe Decker was only human after all.
“You think she’s the only one who cared about you? You really thought you could have landed a blow on me if I wasn’t holding back?”
The worst part is, Lucifer doesn’t want to know which permanent would Michael is referring to; his shoulder, his face or maybe even his wings. It was a knee jerk decision. Michael’s distant stare was indication alone that he surrendered but, Lucifer couldn’t kill Michael. Even after everything. “They’ll grow back,” he promised. “I’m trying to help you grow them back.”
“You sound like Dad.”
Lucifer gaped. “Take that back.”
“Punishment as character growth? All Dad. I guess you became him when you became God.” Michael smirked enjoying the little dig that tail spins into icky self-awareness.
“I am not like Dad!”
“Are too.”
“Are not!”
“Are too.” He half expects Lucifer to fly away in a huff. It’s what they did as fledglings.
“Fine. I’ll prove to you I’m not.” Lucifer straightens himself and takes Michael by the arm. “No more grunt work for you. I’m shoving you into a suit and we are spending the evening together.”
Michael guffawed. “As what?”
“My brother. I’m officially introducing you to everyone and your only duty is to have a drink and cheer Happy New Year with all of us. Can you manage that?”
The sudden change is so Lucifer. Just like that he’s making amends. A part of him bristles at the audacity. “Just like that?”
“Yes. How’s that for being like Dad?”
Michael laughed weakly. Same old Lucifer. “Over correcting is very Dad. I would know.”
“You are as difficult as always.”
“Well, you are as stupid as always.” After a beat he adds. “Do I have to be nice to your miracle?”
Lucifer rolled his eyes. “I’d settle for you calling her Chloe.”
“That’s it? Have a drink. Say happy new year at midnight and use her name?”
“Yes,” Lucifer groaned.
“Done.”
There was a familiar glint in his twin’s eye that made Lucifer nervous. “You tricked me just now,” he murmured in acute horror. “What do you have up your sleeve?”
This is just like before – that ancient before. Michael would twist Samael into a corner knowing he’d never go back on his word. A prank was in the making. Michael was going to give him payback for all the grunt work through the holidays.
“Nothing we didn’t agree to. So what overpriced monkey suit do I have to wear?”
With a tight smirk and a fond stare Lucifer testily corrected. “It’s not overpriced if it’s quality.”