Chapter Text
Colder Weather | Zac Brown Band
Well it's a winding road
When you’re in the lost and found
You're a lover I'm a runner
We go 'round 'n 'round
And I love you but I leave you
I don't want you but I need you
You know it's you who calls me back here
//
Hands intertwined seamlessly together, Hope and Kelley slowly came to a halt as they watched their teammates begin to disperse throughout the terminal. They had just wrapped up their last camp for the year. Aside from a few obligations here and there, the team was given two months of vacation until the New Year.
Pinoe looked towards the pair in understanding and softly informed, “I’ll give you two a minute…meet inside the plane?”
Hope nodded, looked at the gate in front of them and murmured, “I think this is where we go our separate ways…”
Kelley tightened her grip onto Hope. Noticing the added pressure to her hands, Hope sighed and turned to face her younger teammate.
“Kelley, you have to let go…”
Before Hope could speak again, the shorter brunette wrapped her arms around her waist. Hope rested her head gently on the shorter woman and stroked her hair. It only took a few more seconds before she felt her shirt slightly damp from Kelley’s tears.
“I don’t want to let go.”
Kelley had finally pulled away from their embrace and looked to the floor, afraid she would crumble even more if she stared into the keeper’s blue eyes.
“You’re making this a lot harder, you know.” Hope quietly laughed, hoping to receive some positive reaction from her usually bubble teammate. When she didn’t receive the response she was looking for, she sighed, “Kell, please look at me.”
Kelley finally looked up, her face clearly stained with tears. She murmured, “Two months is a long time, Hope.”
“We’ll call every day and hey, I’m coming to visit at the end of November, remember?”
“Just for the weekend though…you really can’t stay for more than two days?” Kelley begged.
“Please don’t start with that again…I already told you, I’m booked for so many events. I can’t get away for more than a week. And no, this doesn’t mean that you’re not important…it’s just bad timing. We both knew going into this that we’d have to deal with this whole long distance thing.”
Kelley hugged Hope one more time, closing her eyes and burying herself into her other half so that her scent flooded her own.
“I already miss you.”
“Me too, Kell.”
With that, Hope bent down so that her lips would meet Kelley, who quickly deepened the kiss, savoring their last moment together.
“Final boarding call for Flight 331 to Seattle, Washington”
Hope pulled away, “Okay, I really need to go now. See you soon, alright?”
Kelley nodded, feeling her eyes brimming with tears all over again, blurring her view as she watched Hope fade beyond the gate.
-
Hope’s phone lit up with an airline notification. She scanned over it and sighed. Her flight to Georgia had been cancelled due to the snow storm outside. It was actually the tail end of the storm, but flights were still backed up. The next available flight wouldn’t be until the following evening. Hope quickly realized it didn’t make sense for her to even travel all the way there when she’d only stay for one night.
Maybe this was a sign.
Maybe she wasn’t supposed to go to Georgia. Over the past month, she had been doing a lot of thinking about her and Kelley’s relationship. There was no doubt she was attracted to the young Stanford graduate. They had grown close over the past year, but lately, their relationship was stagnant. It wasn’t really going anywhere and they didn’t discuss it. On the other hand, they didn’t need to discuss it. All they knew was that their relationship felt right. It felt good.
And yet Hope felt herself hiding comfortably behind her walls.
No one ever made her feel this way. So desired. So wanted. So loved. Why was she feeling this way then? Why was she shutting down when Kelley had worked so hard to open her up?
Maybe none of this was real. It felt too good. Too perfect. And that scared Hope. Commitment was one of her biggest fears. She wanted to run.
She was born to be a runner.
Hope picked up her phone once again and quickly typed out a text.
Hope: Flight cancelled bc of storm…looks like I won’t make it to GA after all…
Kelley: Call me?
Hope didn’t respond, but just like she predicted, Kelley called no more than five minutes later. When she didn’t pick up the call, Kelley tried once more. Hope ignored that, too. She knew Kelley wouldn’t try again- she always respected Hope’s space and she loved that about the younger defender.
But because of that, as she got in bed later that night, Hope couldn’t help but feel guilty. Kelley did nothing wrong. She deserved a conversation. After contemplating this for a few hours, Hope finally realized she wouldn’t get much sleep unless she talked to her southern girl on the other side of the country. After flicking the lights on, Hope dialed her number and heard the phone pick up on the other end.
“Hope?”
Hope held her breath at the sound of her voice, but managed to let out a soft, “Hey.”
“Why didn’t you answer earlier?” Kelley cautiously asked, trying not to sound too overbearing.
“I’m sorry, Kell…” Hope’s voice trailed off.
She wasn’t really sure where she was going with that. She didn’t know how to explain any of this to Kelley, let alone where to start. She was never one to express her feelings out loud.
After a moment of silence, Kelley’s voice cracked, “Y…you couldn’t call me and tell me?”
Hope felt her heart sink at the sound of Kelley’s broken voice. She was clearly hurt and because Hope was terrible at this, she answered her question with a question of her own.
“Are you mad?”
Hope heard a heavy sigh. “I mean, it’s not your fault…”
But it kinda is, Hope thought.
Kelley continued softly, “I’m just…disappointed. Are you sure you can’t visit another time over the next month?”
Hope knew that if she shifted her schedule around, she might find another weekend to fly over to Georgia. But letting her feelings get the best of her, she just simply apologized again,
“I’m sorry.”
Kelley’s voice now trembled, doing her best to fight back tears, “I was looking forward to seeing you…I’ve missed you, Hope.”
Hope bit her lip, partly because she wasn’t sure how to respond and partly because she needed time to calm herself down. She hated hearing Kelley so upset.
“Hey, it won’t be long now…just another month.”
“I wish you were here…”
Hope could picture Kelley curled up under blankets on her back porch, tears starting to roll down her face. She knew how sensitive the younger girl could get, and Hope hated that she was the reason for her emotions running all over the place.
They stayed on the phone with one another until Kelley fell asleep. Hope could tell because her breathing had become shallower and the sniffling resided. She silently hung up, and the picture in her head of such a broken hearted Kelley drove her nuts.
So she thought, screw this.
For the first time in her life, Hope refused to listen to the little voice in her head that usually convinced her otherwise.
-
The following morning, Kelley woke up, wincing at the daylight peeking in through the blinds. She wondered why she was feeling so awful when it suddenly hit her. Cancelled flight, missed phone calls, the dull late night conversation- all sharing the reason for why she felt so sad, so disappointed.
Throwing on an oversized hoodie, Kelley grudgingly made her way to the other end of the house where her mother greeted her in the kitchen.
“Morning.”
Kelley ignored the greeting and just headed straight to the cupboard to grab a mug for coffee.
Wiping down the kitchen counter from the remnants of breakfast, her mom raised an eyebrow, “You know, I’m surprised you slept in as much as you did today, especially when you haven’t stopped talking this entire week about Hope coming to visit for the weekend.”
“Well she can’t make it.” Kelley bitterly replied, a little too forcefully.
“What?”
“Yeah, there’s a bad storm in Seattle, so her flight was cancelled and I don’t think she can make room in her schedule for another visit.”
“Wait, Kelley, what are you talking about? She arrived early this morning.”
“I mean, I’ll be okay. I knew this whole long distance thing would be hard, but I really thought we could make it work. But she called late last night, and I don’t know, it doesn’t sound like our relationship is heading in a positive direction. It’s just so hard because I’m so willing to…”
Kelley stopped stirring her cup of coffee and turned to face her mother. She asked, “Wait, what did you just say?”
“You silly, Hope has been here this whole morning…she’s out back on the porch chatting with your father.”
As if on cue, another woman’s laughter was faintly heard in the background. Recognizing that laugh in a heartbeat, Kelley immediately made her way to the back door, not believing what she was seeing.
Hope was right there. She was physically right there.
Grinning like a true dork, Hope chuckled, “The sleepyhead is finally awake! Thank goodness- I’m not getting any younger out here, you know. No offense, Mr. O’Hara.”
Kelley’s eyes widened as she struggled to find words, “I…I thought…are you for real?”
Hope looked down at herself and shrugged, “I sure hope so.”
Kelley felt the corners of her mouth turn upward as she basically flung herself on top of the seated woman. She wrapped her arms around, burying her head into the crook of her neck. There hadn’t been many people in her life who were able to leave her speechless. Their hearts were beating out of their chest, more so Hope’s as she realized that she perhaps just conquered her fears.
She held on to Kelley as tight as she could.
Never wanting to let go.
//
When I close my eyes I see you
No matter where I am
I can smell your perfume through these whispering pines
I'm with your ghost again
It's a shame about the weather
I know soon we'll be together
And I can't wait 'til then
I can't wait 'til then