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The wind was blowing, the moon was her only company along with the cats of the village, and she could observe from the bench she was sitting on, the bridge they had to cross to get to the village.
She sighed, maybe tonight she was feeling... nostalgic?
A second sigh escaped her lips, she really didn't know what it was, she didn't know if there really was a word that could help her describe what she was feeling.
Again a sigh followed after that thought, and as if her sigh had given a command to the wind a breeze of air rushed in, she closed her eyes and let the wind ruffle her hair.
She didn't know what this feeling was, or if there was a word for it, but she did know that her chest felt heavy. A heaviness she had never experienced in her life, and that's saying a lot, as she had gone through several situations in order to find this happiness she now felt with the rest of her group mates.
Because she may not tell them often, but Yooyeon could only feel happiness when she was with the rest of the girls, whether they were joking around or in any case they were practicing for some comeback and felt tired, the feeling of happiness and being at home did not leave her heart.
But at that moment, what was in her chest had no name, or at least she didn't know what to call it since she had never experienced anything like it before. However, even though she didn't want to admit it, she did know what it was that generated that feeling.
Or rather who was generating that feeling.
In the back of her mind, something that had started as a joke, then turned into a thought, now an idea and even if Yooyeon didn't want it to, it was about to become a fantasy. If it wasn't already one, and she was ignoring it.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a voice.
-What are you doing out here?
Yooyeon opened her eyes, she hadn't realized when she arrived.
-I could ask you the same thing- she said, trying to dodge the question.
Lately she feels that even though she tries hard to avoid thinking about the person in front of her, it is practically impossible because her head for some reason ends up relating everything and every single thing she does or sees.
So much so that the younger ones in the group have already noticed it, both Soomin and Yeonji tease her every chance they get, although they are not the only ones who do it.
Her new companion smiled, another thing of the things she liked to see the most was her smile, she thought it was because when she saw her smile she couldn't help but feel happy and silly.
-I asked first- she said with a slightly playful tone.
Again a sigh, if they gave her a won for every time she sighed tonight, she would already have four won, which is not that many but it's surprising how many times she has sighed tonight.
-I'm thinking- she said without going deeper into it.
-In this cold?- she answered back.
-I needed some fresh air, besides, don't you think this is the perfect scenario to feel nostalgic?
-Kim Yooyeon feeling nostalgic, wow, that's something I haven't heard of.
She rolled her eyes.
-Now tell me, what are you doing out here?
Her now new benchmate shrugged her shoulders.
-I don't know, maybe I was coming to feel nostalgic on this bench too- she said with a small laugh and turned to look at her, she knew she was making fun of her.
-Funny
She laughed again, and Yooyeon didn't feel like she could stay mad at her if she heard her laughter.
-I just saw you leaving and here I am, keeping you company tonight- she paused- is this the moment where I say that you are more beautiful than the stars?
Yooyeon knew she was just joking, but her heart skipped a beat when she heard it.
-I didn't know you were this romantic.
She ignored her heart.
-Only with you- she told her letting out another small laugh.
This was normal between them, to joke about these things, which at first seemed insignificant, even dumb. But now it seemed that her heart no longer seemed to know that it was a joke.
-Yooyeon
She called out to her after a small moment in silence.
-Seoyeon
She replied without knowing exactly what to say to her.
-Are you okay?- she asked her.
She didn't know if it was the "nostalgic view" as she had told her, or maybe it was because she had been thinking about her, or perhaps it was a combination of both things, but she felt as if she figured it out.
That suddenly Seoyeon had already realized her feelings for her.
Wait.
Feelings for her?
Towards Seoyeon?
What?
-Yooyeon?
She went back to the conversation, she couldn't believe this was happening.
-Yes, why would you even ask that?- she asked, trying to calm herself down.
Seoyeon was looking at her a bit confused and worried, but Yooyeon couldn't blame her, after all her head and heart seemed to be somewhere else but on that bench.
-Well I was just saying that because after the flag game- Seoyeon paused- well it's not something really important, it's just part of the program but after our little discussion I felt that you had gotten upset and I was coming to ask you if we are okay.
Of course she was talking about the flag game, what else could she possibly be talking about?
-Seoyeon, you just said it yourself- she turned to look at her and smiled- It's just a game, of course at the time it was important to me but it's nothing more than something from the program, it would take something really bad, for me to really get mad at you.
Seoyeon smiled back at her, and she could see her shoulders relax.
-Well, I feel more at ease- Seoyeon was silent for a moment- but now I think there's something else going through your mind and it's not related to today's game, so do you want to talk about it?
Her heart started to race, what was she going to tell Seoyeon.
-Only if you want to, I'm not going to pressure you to talk about it, it's just that it looks like it's something that's been on that little head of yours for a while.
Again another sigh, she did not know what to do, unsure whether to tell her that the reason why she was on that bench watching the scenery, at night, in the cold was because of her.
-I was thinking about someone- Yooyeon told her.
Maybe talking about it could help her to overcome these feelings, which although they were not new, it was the first time she recognized them.
-Someone?- Seoyeon looked at her with surprise.
How is she supposed to continue? Now she feels that this is a bad idea, but it's too late to change the subject.
-Yes, it's someone who in a very short time I've become very fond of- she paused and stared at the bridge in front of her- whom I trust a lot and feel like I know them very well- she said in a very general way.
She couldn't see Seoyeon's face but she could feel that all her attention was on her.
-And we are just friends, but lately I feel like something is wrong with me because all the time I find myself thinking about that person and at first I thought it was just because I haven't had a friendship like that before but now....
-You think it's something different than just a friendship.
Seoyeon interrupted her and Yooyeon turned to look at her in surprise.
Had she just figured her out with that alone?
Did she know what she was talking about?
-How do you know?- she asked hesitantly.
Seoyeon shrugged her shoulders, and now it was her turn to admire the bridge in front of them.
-I don't know, maybe it's that kind of thing that as S1 I should know- she said joking without turning to look at her.
-I don't think they teach you that while you are a trainee- she replied.
She felt that Seoyeon was avoiding answering her directly.
-Are you sure about that?- she asked, smiling.
-If I had been taught what to do, I wouldn't be out here at night staring at the bridge in front of us- Yooyeon said.
There was another moment of silence, which for a moment she thought would never end.
-Well, maybe it's because I know exactly how you feel- said Seoyeon, breaking the silence, as she turned to look at her directly in the eyes.
Suddenly there was no sound around, no sound of wind, no sound of cats, nothing. The air seemed to have become thick with a tension that she hadn't realized but had grown around them.
Yooyeon didn't know if Seoyeon was talking about her or if it was just her head making her believe something she wanted to, so long as she held onto the illusion that the girl in front of her, who made her heart pound and flooded her thoughts, felt the same way.
Yooyeon wasn't sure of anything, but she knew she needed a hint.
A sign.
A movement.
Something to tell her, that it wasn't a sick joke coming from her head.
Anything.
Seoyeon's eyes briefly wandered to her lips, and she couldn't help but do the same.
Oh.
Yooyeon's head took a second to react, she couldn't believe it.
This was the moment in movies or TV shows where the main character realizes their feelings, and in Yooyeon's case not only did she realize her feelings, but there might be a possibility that Seoyeon also feels the same way.
There was her signal, her hint, the movement that told her she could approach and take the step she was so afraid to take.
Suddenly she felt a small weight on her lap.
All the accumulated tension suddenly disappeared, the reason?
A cat.
Seoyeon looked down and smiled, as she approached to pet the cat as if the previous minute had never occurred.
-Hey little guy, what are you doing here?- she said while petting the cat that was now on her lap- are we disturbing you?
Again another sigh came out of her mouth, they were interrupted by a cat, although what had the cat interrupted exactly?
-Yooyeon- Seoyeon interrupted her thoughts- I think we should go back to sleep now.
Yooyeon turned to look at her.
-I got several messages from Sohyun asking where we are- said Seoyeon looking at her phone.
Yooyeon petted the cat one last time and put it on the floor, and when she turned around she found Seoyeon extending her hand.
-Shall we go?- she said, smiling at her.
Yooyeon smiled back and took her hand.
-Good night- she said to Seoyeon as she let go of her hand, since they were both in different rooms.
Suddenly Seoyeon approached her and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
-Goodnight Yooyeon- she said smiling to her as she walked away and went into her room.
Yooyeon smiled and went into her room ready to sleep, she couldn't believe that tonight had turned out this way. Not only had she realized her feelings, but Seoyeon seemed to feel the same way.
She sighed one last time, but unlike the other sighs of tonight this one was a joyful sigh, a sign that now her mind and body felt less uncertain about her feelings.