Chapter Text
“Sweet Teeny the Teen—is that who I think it is?” Normal Oak-Swallows gasped.
Lincoln (Link) Li-Wilson and Taylor Swift (not that one) startled and looked at Normal in alarm, who stood abruptly at his seat in the cafeteria.
They were eating lunch, Taylor was talking about some anime or another he’d been catching up on this weekend so that way he’d have enough material for his weekly newsletter, when Normal interrupted.
Realizing his mistake, Normal quickly tried to backtrack. “Wait—no don’t look.”
Link and Taylor immediately did the opposite, as per the unwritten rule when someone said ‘don’t look’, turning in their seats to look in the direction Normal had been facing.
“Who is it?” Taylor asked eagerly, his eyes scanning the cafeteria crowd for who Normal was talking about.
Link, on the other hand, knew exactly who Normal was staring agape at.
“Is that?”
“Scary Marlowe?” Link’s eyes widened.
What was she doing here?
If he hadn’t recognized the pink streak in her hair or the combat boots, he could recognize the sour look on her face anywhere.
Scary stood in the entry of the cafeteria of Teen High, arms crossed and glaring at the scene around her.
“Wait, that Scary Marlowe?” Taylor frowned, “the bad girl of soccer?”
“Yes! Well, she apparently used to be the good girl of soccer but then she turned bad girl and no one knows why.” Normal rambled.
“What’s she doing here? Doesn’t she go to Chapperal? Sorry Normal.” Link patted his friend on the back, who shuddered at the name “Chapperal”.
“I thought she did.” Normal agreed.
They watched as Scary was approached by none other than Vice Principal Tony Pepperoni, her sour look turning into a proper scowl as he gestured to Scary’s shirt, which was emblazoned with the words ‘Shit Garden’. It was clear that Vice Principal Pepperoni did not appreciate her shirt.
Taylor nudged Link’s shoulder playfully, “isn’t she like, your sworn enemy?”
Link snorted. “No. Of course I know who she is. I mean… she used to be such an amazing soccer player. I watched some of the games between Chapperal—sorry Normal—and Teen High last year and she was like really, really good.”
Link glanced back at Scary, who was now clearly arguing with Vice Principal Pepperoni about her shirt, “but now she’s mean on the field. She plays dirty and even though she’s still really, really good, that’s not cool.”
Link could appreciate a good player, but he drew the line at bad sportsmanship and dirty play. Soccer was a game that should be played with honour after all.
“I wonder if she transferred?” Normal wondered aloud. It wouldn’t be totally unheard of to have a transfer student from Chapperal, but it was rare.
Plus, Teen High and Chapperal were forever interlocked in a longstanding, bitter rivalry. Why would their star soccer player transfer here?
“Well,” Normal said with a peppy little sigh, “as Teeny the Teen it is my duty to greet our new student. I should go offer to give her a tour.” He grabbed the Teeny the Teen head off the seat next to him (it was never out of reach, Normal took his duties as Teeny the Teen very seriously).
Normal went to stand up, but Taylor pulled him back down.
“You may want to wait a minute.” Taylor jerked his head in Scary’s direction.
Link and Normal looked back.
Scary gestured angrily to her shirt, but Vice Principal Pepperoni shook his head.
Scary’s irritated “fine!” was audible even from their seat before she spun on her heel and stormed out of the cafeteria.
“Uh, yeah. I’m gonna give her a little time to cool off.” Normal agreed, sitting back down.
Link rolled his eyes and returned to his lunch. Looks like Scary had a bad attitude on and off the field.
Somehow, he couldn’t shake the bad feeling about soccer tryouts this year.
--
There was no Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday: there was only:
4 days until soccer tryouts.
3 days until soccer tryouts.
2 days until soccer tryouts.
Every day Link marked off a day on his calendar, getting closer and closer to the big day.
It was the thing he’d been working so hard for all summer—it was going to be his year for sure. He’d made Junior Varsity his freshman year, which was a huge accomplishment, but this year, Link was determined to make varsity.
It wasn’t unheard of for a Sophomore, but it was difficult unless you were the best of the best.
Link was so engrossed with soccer that he barely had time to think anything more about Teen High’s newest arrival.
The topic of Scary Marlowe’s arrival at Teen High died down quick, maybe in part that anyone who dared talk to her had their head ripped off. She mostly sat in class ignoring everyone, outside of class it was much the same.
People learned to leave her alone pretty fast.
Link barely cast a thought to Scary even though she was in several of his classes, because he had bigger fish to fry this week.
By the time tryout day (Friday) rolled around, Link was practically vibrating with nervous energy.
“You’ll do great, Link.” Normal assured him as he and Taylor walked Link towards the soccer pitch, “I’m not supposed to have favourites as Teeny the Teen, but I’ll be cheering for you extra hard.”
“Link,” Taylor said next, “remember what I taught you about the power of breath and you’ll do great.”
“Thanks guys.” Link tried to calm his racing pulse.
“Text me later how it goes buddy.” Taylor glanced towards the parking lot where his mom was waiting for him. “You’re gonna knock em dead! Later guys!”
Taylor gave a little two finger salute by the rim of his pork pie hat before breaking away from Normal and Link, he didn’t want to be late to ninjitsu after all!
Link and Normal waved, continuing towards the soccer pitch. They could see the coach lingering by the sideline benches with clip board in hand, already an impressive number of teens gathered on the pitch.
“Well, there’s a few other try outs happening today too so,” Normal plopped the giant Teeny the Teen head over his head, “I have to float but I’ll be cheering for you on my rounds!”
“See you later Normal.” Link waved as Normal waddled off in the giant Teeny the Teen costume, leaving Link to face the soccer pitch himself.
He took a deep breath.
He’d trained for this.
Literally ate, slept, and breathed soccer. He’d even slept with the ball all summer to feel more attuned to it in every sense of the word.
He was ready.
Link steeled his courage and stepped onto the pitch.
--
“How did tryouts go, kiddo?” Marco burst as soon as Link climbed into the family minivan after tryouts.
“Hey dad,” Link greeted with a tired groan, “I think it went well.”
“That’s great buddy! Your dad was so bummed out he couldn’t pick you up too, he’ll will want to hear all about it too, so let’s save the details for over dinner okay? Now buckle up.”
“Sounds good dad.” Link managed to pull his seatbelt across his chest with only minimal aches, his whole body sore from tryouts. He was sweaty, caked with dirt and grass and just knew he was going to be sore tomorrow—but he gave it his all.
“When are the results posted?” Marco asked as he pulled smoothly into traffic, setting course towards home.
“Monday.”
It was going to be a really long weekend.
“We’re rooting for you. We both know how hard you worked for this.”
“Thanks dad.” Link said, embarrassingly pleased at his dad’s praise.
“Now let’s pick up some pizza on the way home to celebrate!”
--
It wasn’t until later that night when Link was about to flick off his bed side lamp for the night when he realized that Scary, previous star of the Chapperal soccer team, hadn’t been at soccer tryouts.
--
Monday morning Taylor and Normal were waiting for Link by the school gates by the time his dad pulled up.
It was clearly a united show of support because Normal always arrived ridiculously early and Taylor always arrived just before the bell.
They didn’t waste any time. Both Normal and Taylor knew that now was not the time for small talk, and instead they fell into step with Link.
Despite the urge to sprint to the notice board, Link slowed his long legs so his friends could keep up.
There was a small crowd around the bulletin board already. Link stopped abruptly, nearly ten feet away, causing Normal and Taylor to crash into his back.
“I think I might be sick.” Link thought aloud, but after a moment of consideration amended, “no… well…maybe.”
Normal and Taylor exchanged a look, silently agreeing that Normal should take the lead on this one.
“Link, buddy. You tried your hardest at tryouts! Heck, we saw you all summer bleeding, sweating, sleeping with your soccer ball—whatever is up there, you’re a great soccer player Link. I don’t know anyone who loves soccer as much as you do.”
“Now go! Behold your destiny!” Taylor helpfully pushed Link towards the board.
Stumbling slightly, Link recovered from the unexpected push only to find he was right in front of the board. Like a moth drawn to flame, Link’s eyes involuntarily found the list. He moved down the list of names, his heart sinker further the farther he got without seeing his name.
His name wasn’t listed under starters.
His name wasn’t found on the rest of the players, except—
Lincoln Li-Wilson – alternate
He made the varsity team?
He made the varsity team!
Sure, it wasn’t as a starter, but he was an alternate! There was always a chance he could move up on the team and he made varsity his sophomore year! He would get to train with the team, travel with the team, go to all the games, everything Link had been dreaming about for so long. And being an alternate this year would for sure make his chances even better next year to make it onto the starting line.
Lightheaded, Link turned around jerkily and headed back to Taylor and Normal, who seemed to be desperately trying to read his face to see if they should be congratulating or consoling him.
Link didn’t keep them waiting.
“I made alternate for varsity!”
Normal gasped excitedly, eyes alight. “Congrats Link! That’s awesome!”
“I knew you could do it.” Taylor agreed, clapping him on the back with a grin.
Link couldn’t help but return the grin and opened his mouth to say thanks when—
“Alternates are just sad bench warmers.” A familiar voice sneered.
All the happiness, all the excitement, drained from Link as he turned to see the bad girl of soccer herself—Scary Marlowe.
A flash of anger and embarrassment warms Link’s cheeks, but he just frowned and tamped it down.
Taylor however, had no such reservations.
“Hey man, what’s your problem?” Taylor snapped.
Scary just ignored them and kept walking, presumably heading towards her locker as though she hadn’t just completely ruined Link’s good mood.
“Hey!” Taylor looked like he was about to drop everything and chase after Scary, but Link put a hand out to stop him.
“It’s fine, Taylor.” Link said tiredly, “at least I tried out for the team.”
Scary stilled almost imperceptibly but recovered fast and kept walking as though he weren’t worth the time of day.
“What a total bit—”
“Taylor!” Normal cut him off with a gasp, horror on his face, “as allies we should never refer to any woman as the b-word!”
Taylor crossed his arms over his chest and glared after Scary, muttering, “yeah, but she is one though.”
“Don’t listen to her Link,” Normal said, ignoring Taylor’s comment, “you worked hard and made the team.”
“Yeah Link! Don’t let Scary being a bi—I mean jerk,” Taylor corrected smoothly when Normal elbowed him, “ruin your day.”
Link mustered a half-hearted smile. “I won’t guys. What did you do this weekend?”
Thankfully, Normal and Taylor allowed the sudden change of subject, taking pity on him.
As Taylor began to fill them in, Link couldn’t help but think about how relieved he was that Scary wasn’t on the team. At least he wouldn’t have to put up with her outside of classes and the occasional run-in in the halls.
- - -
“Thanks for helping me again, guys.” Normal said gratefully, passing out the needles and thread around the table.
Taylor, Link and Normal sat at a table in the multiuse hall during free period, sitting around the empty husk of Teeny the Teen like they were about to attempt some demonic ritual.
In reality, Teeny the Teen just needed some repairs, and Link and Taylor were lending their friend a hand.
“No problem buddy, you always come through for my cosplays.” Taylor gamely tried to thread a needle, sticking his tongue out and squinting his eyes in concentration. Why was the eye of the needle always so small?
“What needs to be fixed this time?” Link asked, looking Teeny over.
“Just a few popped stitches again, I’ve been really trying to nail my forward handspring with Teeny and it’s going great! Well, mostly great anyways.” Normal proceeded to stick a red pin with tiny red flags into various parts of Teeny’s body to flag the popped stitches.
Between the three of them, it wouldn’t take them too long.
“Did you guys want to come over Saturday? We can try out the new super VR headset my mom got me. Apparently, it’s even more realistic than the mega VR headset!” Taylor explained excitedly.
“That sounds fun,” Link agreed as he made the first stab into Teeny’s leg, “I’m free after practice on Saturday so I’ll ask my dads.”
“I got so motion sick with the other headset, but I can try again.” Normal looked a little green around the gills at the thought.
“We can always switch to something else if it does make you want to barf.”
“Thanks Taylor, I’m in then… um…” Normal trailed off, his eyes caught on something in the distance. Unfortunately, even though he stopped talking, he didn’t stop sewing.
“Ouch!” Normal yelped loudly, drawing the eyes of their peers for one moment, before they looked away, disinterested again.
“How bad it is?” Taylor winced.
Normal carefully pulled the tip of the sewing needle out of his fingertip and hissed as a spot of blood welled.
“It’s not too bad.” He said, flustered.
Link fished Normal’s first aid kit from his backpack and rummaged around until he found a band aid.
“Normally its us stabbing ourselves, what were you distracted—”
“That looked like it hurt, are you okay Normal?” At that moment, a smooth voice cuts in, making Taylor and Link jump but Normal’s cheeks flush.
It took a second for Link to recognize who it was standing there in a deep purple suit and clownlike makeup.
It was Teen High’s only other transfer student of the year: Hermie Unworthy.
Hermie leaned against the table, peering worriedly down at Normal’s hand.
Oh.
Taylor and Link exchange a silent, sly look of understanding.
Hermie Unworthy transferred into Teen High from where exactly? No one really knew, he was pretty vague about that, but at the very least, it thankfully wasn’t Chapperal.
He was a drama kid through and through, hence the strange costume he was currently wearing. Hermie was really into method acting and when he got into a roll, he really got into a roll.
Apparently this fall the drama department was putting on ‘the Joker’, in which Hermie had scored the lead role.
“Oh, h-hey Hermie.” Normal stammered out, unable to look him in the eyes, “it’s fine! Just accidentally got my finger with the needle but I’m fine.”
Hermie’s gaze slid from Normal’s hurt finger to the band aid Link had been about to open.
“Allow me,” he said smoothly, taking the band aid from Link’s hands unexpectedly and opening it with a flourish.
He carefully placed the band aid, and sealed it a moment later, his fingers brushing Normal’s.
Normal looked as though he was going to melt into a puddle or explode, his face red.
“Uh—” Normal’s voice cracked, “thanks Hermie!”
“Any time.” Hermie bowed, “I bid you all a good day, I must get to rehearsal.”
“Later Hermie.” Taylor nodded.
“Bye.” Link never really got the theatrics with Hermie, but he seemed nice enough anyways. He knew he’d have to get used to Hermie one way or another though, if Normal’s huge crush on him was any indication.
Normal just made a strangled noise in lieu of actual words, and instead just hide his face in his hands when Hermie had disappeared around the corner.
“You know, Hermie is pretty smooth.” Taylor remarked thoughtfully, “maybe I could learn a thing or two.”
Link groaned. “Please don’t.”
“How did I do?” Normal asked miserably.
“Um…”
“Well…”
Normal ran his hands down his face, drooping his eyes and cheeks down as he groaned.
Link patted his shoulder. “You’ll get there, bud.”
- - -
The locker room was busy with chatter as everyone cleaned themselves up after a gruelling Saturday practice.
Practice was great; Link was already learning so much about where he needed to improve. He was already thinking about all the moves he’d be practicing in his back yard later this weekend,
He was heading right to Taylor’s after practice, otherwise he would have normally showered at home, but instead he brought a spare change of clothes to practice today to switch into.
He was fresh out of the shower, wrapped in a towel when Link suddenly found himself surrounded.
“Well, well, well.” Twelve voices said in unison, before splitting to just one. “If it isn’t our alternate, Lincoln Li-Wilson.”
Oh, it was just twelve of his teammates, who also happened to be twelve orphans (and weirdly one throuple).
“Oh, hey guys.” Link greeted; a bit confused at the ambush.
“Good practice today, Link.” The spokesman of the group (Shaun, Link thinks?) says sincerely.
“That means a lot, thanks.” Link smiled, “you guys too.”
“We’ll cut to the chase Link. We’re going to offer you a deal.”
“A… deal?” Link repeated dumbly, mind racing at the sudden change in topic.
“We need you to recruit someone for us to the soccer team.”
At Link’s confused silence, the twelve varsity soccer players continue.
“If you can get Scary to join the team, we’ll make sure you get bumped up to full player, not just alternate.”