Chapter Text
Sans groggily opened an eye as he felt something prod him, swatting it away and rolling over.
“Ngh.. not now..” he groaned.
“SANS!!” Papyrus yelled, lifting up his younger brother with ease and placing him atop his broad shoulders.
“You have that job interview today, so make sure you’re not late!” he prompted, tossing some clothes onto Sans’ bed (which looked more like a jumbled disarray of blankets and sheets).
Sans stared with disgust at the clean dress shirt and long pants his brother had chosen.
“Bro.. really?” he replied sluggishly, nestling into Papyrus’ long scarf.
“SANS I SWEAR IF YOU FAIL THIS INTERVIEW!” Papyrus yelled, lifting Sans out of the folds of his scarf.
The older skeleton stared down at Sans with worry, but eventually left him to change.
“Sans, I have extra training today, so.. try not to burn the house down while I’m gone.”
Sans moved to add that Papyrus was far more likely to do so, but instead yawned and shuffled back into his room.
“Ok bro. Have a ball.”
“SANS!!”
Once Sans had reluctantly left the house, he had resolved to wear his usual jacket over the clothes Papyrus had picked out. There was no way he was gonna be seen in long pants. No sooner had he stepped out of their home, had many humans turned to point and stare.
“Mommy, look! It’s a monster!”
“What is that?”
Sans just sighed and kept moving. Most monsters had become accustomed to the constant stares of onlooking humans.
As he entered the coffee shop, a small chime attached to the door signalled his arrival. Looking inside, Sans could see that the place was busy, but not too crowded as so to be chaotic. People and monsters alike chatted over coffees and pastries, some focused on work while others just enjoyed each other’s company. Making his way to the counter, he had to stretch up to see over the bench. But to his disdain, all the employees had gone into the kitchen. Once again straining to see over the marble-topped bench, he gave up and just stood there waiting.
Sans jumped involuntarily as he felt a presence looming over him. He could immediately smell... bubblegum?
“Need some help, darling?” a voice cooed playfully. Before Sans could turn to see who the fuck had just called him ‘darling’, a metal arm snaked around his middle and lifted him up, giving him a good view of the space behind the counter.
“Yeah, thanks, bud, but I can see fine.” he grumbled, hardly bothering to look at whomever had just picked him up.
“Oh, is that so?” the voice laughed, setting Sans down on the ground.
Before he lost his shit, Sans turned and faced the source of the voice.
He felt his face flush blue as he studied the robot before him. Standing at almost 6’4, he towered over Sans. He had deep magenta eyes, and dark raven hair that glistened in the light. One side of his face was covered by his hair, and he wore a flamboyant pink fur coat accompanied by bright pink boots. On a normal person, it would have looked horrendous, but on him it just looked.. fabulous. Sans flushed an even deeper shade as he felt the robot checking him out, in his unruly state of morning sluggishness. Looking up at the robot, he saw that he had on the most devious smirk, and resolved to turn away in his state of vulnerability.
“Oh, darling, I do apologise for this. But I hardly meet anyone with a charm quite like yours. May I ask your name?”
Sans just sweatdropped and stared at him. This pink.. thing wanted his name?
“L-look, sorry dude, but I’ve got an interview, so I really gotta go,” he mumbled, eluding the robot’s gaze.
“Well, good luck sweetie. I’ll be right here,” he added with a wink.
Christ, Sans thought. How could anyone be so flirtatious?
A nervous looking employee approached the pair, and cleared her throat.
“Um.. is a Mr. Sans among you? He is ready to be interviewed,” she asked nervously, more focused on the robot beside him than Sans. Her state of infatuation was obvious as Mettaton turned to face her.
“Oh, but of course! Knock ‘em dead, darling!” he said cheerfully, pushing Sans towards her.
The employee let out a small squeal before leading Sans behind the counter and into a walkway.
“Sorry for reacting like that. We often get big stars in here, but Mettaton? Oh my gosh!” she exclaimed breathlessly, brushing a strand of dark hair from her eyes. Sans just stared at her. He for one did not see much in that big pink what’s-his-name. Or did he?
“Um… in here. The boss is waiting.” She prompted, leading Sans into a small office.
As soon as Sans had sat down, she closed the door and walked away. Sans shuffled nervously in his seat. He had a perfect view of the café from the office due to a large window opposite him. The robot was still there, sipping a cup of coffee as he adjusted his coat.
As the chair in front of him spun around, he could see a very tired-looking human woman sitting there, making notes on a clipboard.
“Welcome to our coffee shop. I’m Diana. And you must be Sans?”
It took a moment before Sans realised that she had spoken, still gazing out at the customers.
“Uh, yeah. I’m Sans,” he replied hastily, shifting awkwardly. He felt his face flush as the robot from before caught his gaze, giving him a sly wink.
“..Okay. Tell me a little bit about yourself, Sans.”
“robot…flirTING!” he yelped, receiving an odd look from the woman.
“Uh, what I meant was- “
The robot just flashed him a grin, and Sans felt his knees wobble.
The woman began furiously scribbling something down on her clipboard.
The rest of the interview went by like a breeze, the robot giving Sans suggestive looks and gestures and Sans in turn giving the interviewee flustered answers- or none at all. Before long, Sans found himself back out in the hall, being denied a position as a waiter. He needed to have a chat with that robot.
As soon as he was released by his interviewee (who had hastily assured him that she would “carefully consider his application”), Sans made his way over to the table where the robot had once sat. To his irritation, all he found was a to-go coffee cup, sitting atop the table. In his frustration, the skeleton stepped back in one awkward movement, and to his horror knocked over the still-hot cup of coffee. Sans winced as he felt the coffee seep through his jacket, recoiling at the burning sensation of the liquid. He attempted to turn away after cleaning up most of the mess, but let out a muffled yelp as his skull collided directly with a metal torso.
“What are you doing here..?” Sans grumbled, hoping he wouldn’t be dragged into another conversation. The robot flashed him an innocent smile.
“Why, returning to my coffee of course. Since I may have.. disrupted your interview, I decided to make it up to you. I talked to the owners and used some of my influence to explain the situation. It’s all taken care of, darling.”
Sans stared at him.
“Who are you?”
Mettaton just laughed mellifluously.
“Why, I’m almost offended. I am Mettaton, and you’ll most likely be seeing me on my channel tonight! Toodles!”