Chapter Text
Shrek had only caught one lady's eye in his whole entire life. Fiona. Granted she was his soulmate, both ogers, became King and Queen, had three energetic kids with him. But now that she was dead he had resigned from being King and let Donkey take his place. Donkey and his lovely dragon wife, with Puss in Boots as their advisor, led the kingdom into many strong laws: no illegal fire, no scuffles in pedestrian streets, no kidnapping, the list went on. Honestly Shrek should have done that himself but he didn’t think of it.
Now he is dressed in a decent suit ready for his first ever speed dating experience. Speed dating is frowned upon but it is hard in the dating life of an ogre and Shrek needed to replace his lonesomeness as soon as he possibly could. He had heard of this place called Mario’s Diner and learned that many weird, sometimes nonhuman, people come to relax and even find their soulmate.
Shrek walks up to the front desk and rings the bell. The building is dimly lit with red carpet lining the hardwood flooring. It has a lower level with tables and booths then three stairs leading to an elevated seating area with a bar. The building had green curtains on the windows and little fake potted plants in the center of each table.
A man with a fabulous mustache walks behind the desk. He looks Shrek up and down and then checks the clipboard that was laying there.
“Do you have a reservation?” He had a thick Italian accent.
“Yes. It should be under Shrek.”
“I see, are you here for speed dating?”
“Yes.”
“Go up the stairs and check in with my brother Luigi. He is wearing a green shirt.”
Shrek made his way up the stairs and found Luigi. There was a line of people in front of him. These people were vastly different from each other and were kinda strange in some ways.
Once he got to Luigi he checked in.
“Ah yes Shrek! Do you have a preferred gender on your dates?”
“Nope.”
Shrek is open to anybody.
“Well sit down and we’ll get this party started!” His accent was also thick.
Shrek sat down at a table for two and waited for the clock to strike 7:00pm.