Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It's no surprise to anyone when Chaeyoung arrives one day, with new short blonde hair and a bunch of tattoos, she tends to be a very spontaneous person and her antics don't surprise anyone in the group so everyone just kinda goes trough with it, making comment about chaeng and how good she looks

So when Nayeon asks Chaeyoung about her new changes, she simply shrugs it off.

”Ah, but it's deeper than that, isn't it?” Nayeon knows.

It's also no surprise when she starts to become more and more reclusive, preferring to hang out in the dorms and turning down every opportunity to hang out with Nayeon and Jeongyeon. Nayeon sees the signs, she's not dumb, she knows why Chae is being like this, for crying out loud, she's been through this before, so it hurts her that Chae won't tell her.

She's in love.

”But who with?” Nayeon wonders a little loudly, just loud enough for Jeongyeon to hear her.

“What?” She asked, they were sitting on Nayeon's bed, some generic love movie playing in the background, they were getting used to spending their time there, just the two of them, it wasn't that hard though, Jihyo was always somewhere busy studying, Sana was probably on a date with Dahyun as usual and Momo, well, no one knows what momo is doing most of the time anyway.

“Have you noticed that Chaeng is being a little weird these last few weeks?”

“I mean, she's Chae, she's always a little weird” Jeongyeon smiles, turning her body to look at Nayeon “What's on your mind?”

“I think she's…”She pauses, indicating Jeongyeon to come closer to her, whispering in her ear, even though there's no one else there. “She's in love”

“In love? What? With whom?”

“Think about it for a second! She's been making these changes, I mean, that hair looks great on her, but those tattoos? What do they mean?” Jeongyeon looks at her, confused.

“I didn't think you weren't a fan of tattoos?”

“I am! Just, carrots? Flowers on your fingers? Aren't they supposed to have a meaning or something?”

“How do you know it doesn't?” Nayeon shares an incredulous look ...

“Okay but even with that, it literally proves nothing”

“Yah! Jeongyeon, listen to me! She's in love, I know her. She’s just too weird to tell us, she’s embarrassed” Nayeon suddenly looks sad “Ah Jeongyie, our little Chaeng it’s all grown up now!” She says, making a sad face and a few crying noises, snuggling with jeongyeon lightly

-“Aish, stop it!” Jeongyeon does an annoyed face, although she does nothing to put distance between them “So, what now? Do we tell her that we know?”

“Absolutely, i wont let her live now that shes in love, but we have to wait for the perfect moment”

“Alright, but with whom can she be in love? it’s not like she has that many friends aside from us”

“Don’t let her hear that, she might attack you” Nayeon teases “She’s our cub for a reason”

“You know what i mean!”

“I do! I’m just teasing” She lets herself fall onto the bed “It can’t be anyone on the group right? maybe shes in love with me”

“You wish Im Nayeon” The said girl puts her elbows down the mattress to hold herself up with an offended face “I’m kidding! Come on!”

“You’re going to sleep on the couch tonight” 

“What?! Why?!”

“For insulting me”

“It was a joke!”

“Damn, you guys do fight like a married couple” A voice said suddenly, the two pair of eyes looked at the door where a brunette with a bright smile was standing, holding some bags

“Yah! Park Jihyo, when did you get here?”

“Like 10 minutes ago, you were too busy flirting to notice”

“We weren’t flirting!” Jeongyeon said with a blush, standing to take the bags from Jihyo’s hands who accepted with a smile and a small nod of gratitude.

“Yeah, clearly. So, what where you talking about?”

“Chaeng”

“Oh, what about her?” She asked, taking the groceries out of the bags with the help of Jeongyeon

“She’s in love” The reaction its almost instant, her mouth formed a perfect circle and her big eyes opened.

“She’s what?! Whit whom?! She doesn’t know anybody!”

“That’s what i told Nayeon!” Jeongyeon says pointing an acussing finger at the girl who looked more offended than before

“Trust me guys! I’m dead serious, i know my people and that girl it’s head over heals for someone”

“You’re delusional!”

“And you’re dumb”

“Okay, that doesn’t even make any sense!” and Jeongyeon starts bickering, not noticing a very quiet Jihyo “What do you have to say about this?! Chaeyoung its like your daughter!” Jihyo opens her mouth to talk when Jeongyeon interrupts her

“So that makes you the grandma?” She laughs at the annoyance in the face of the girl.

“I swear to god Yoo Jeongyeon”

“Stop it you two!” The two girls looked at each other, startled “I’m trying to remember something”

“Can you do it faster? Im really hungry”

“Shut up, Nayeon”

“Okay, damn”

They fall into a silence that seems to last at least 15 minutes, neither of the girls dared to talk, no one wants to deal with a mad Jihyo 

“I got it!” The brunette says

“Finally! What is it?”

“I thought i saw Chaeng with the exchange student. What was her name again?”

“The blonde one?” Nayeon wonders

“Yeah, that one”

“Oh! Park Chaeyoung, we’re taking chemistry together, she’s so smart, last week she helped with my project, honestly i have never meet someone so sweet, she was so happy to help” Jeongyeon says, ignoring the glare of the older girl

“So her name is also Chaeyoung? Unbelievable!”

“She’s really pretty too”

“Marry her then!” Jihyo sighs at the sight of a very jealous Nayeon

“I was just making a comment!”

“Shut up!” The two girls looked at Jihyo “As i was saying, i saw them together like a week ago, they seem close and chaeng had this stupid little smirk that she has when she does something bad”

“That little…” Nayeon says under her breath “We have to talk to Chaeng, make sure shes fine and comfortable. I don’t trust this Park girl”

“We do have plans next week with the group, think it’s ideal to talk there?” Jihyo asks

“We’ll see, now i just wanna eat”

-

It’s been a week since the trio of friends decided to talk to Chaeyoung, but Nayeon was losing her patience.

She loves Chaeng, she’ll even goes as far as saying that the girl is her best friend (even though she wouldn’t want Jeongyeon to know that) so when the little blonde arrives and sits between Dahyun and Sana she can’t help but to want scream at her at hug her at the same time.

“Be gentle with Chae, you know how she is and i don’t wanna make her feel bad” Nayeon remembers the words of Jihyo, but how can she be gentle with the girl when she’s just here, sitting in front of her, like she didn’t ignore every call and text from the older girl

“So, how you been?”

“We see each other every day Sana” Jihyo jumps in, sitting across her 

“And? It feels like we never talk, you’re always so busy being a nerd and Nayeon is too busy flirting with Jeong to notice me” She pouts 

“Your girlfriend is literally next to you” 

“So? She knows what i mean, right Dahyunnie?- The pale girl smiled widely, resting her head on Sana’s shoulder, the latter kissing her forehead softly, Nayeon had to stop herself from gag at the intimate display 

“Gross”

“Shut up, Nayeon” Every girl in the table says at the same time and she just rolled her eyes 

“Anyways, Chaengie what you been up to lately?” The girl with the bunny smile said casually “We haven’t see you properly in weeks”

“Uh, i been busy” Chae shrugged

“With what?” Jihyo looks over at Nayeon, kicking her feet under the table trying to make the girl stop. 

“School and just… Stuff”

“Wait what you mean you haven’t see her lately? I saw her with that blonde girl, remember Chaengie?” Sana looks at Chae, oblivious 

“Oh really? i don’t remember that” Chae shifts in her seat

“Yeah, i was with Dahyun on our date and saw you holding hands with that pretty girl” Jihyo’s eyes actually open at the statement but Nayeon stands before she can comprehend whats happening.

“Holding hands?!” A look of hurt crosses her eyes “You’re now holding hands with Park and Sana knew before me?! I’m your best friend!” Chae smiles sheepishly 

“Nayeon unnie! Calm down!” The cub says

“Calm down? No, you calm down!” She points at her “How come i was the first to know you were in love with someone but Sana was the first to see it? It doesn’t make any sense!”

“I wouldn’t say “in love” per se. Wait what you mean you were the first to know?” she ask, utterly confused

“Doesn’t matter! Why didn’t you tell us? Me at least?” 

“You didn’t ask” A laugh can be heard next to Jihyo, it’s Jeongyeon that’s been quiet since the whole conversation started. 

“Not the time, Jeong”

“Sorry” 

An uncomfortable silence sets in and moments later a series of laughter ensues

“Seriously now, why didn’t you tell us?” Jeong still laughing a little bit 

“I guess i just wanted to make sure the things with Rosé were serious, i didn’t want to tell you about someone if it was just a flavor of the week or something” The girls nod, understanding. Chae it’s reserved about her life, it took Nayeon almost 2 years to gain Chae’s trust, so she could see where she was coming from “I guess now i can finally introduce you to her” 

“Wait, how long have you been goin out?” Dahyun wonders

“Like 2 months, we meet each other last year in some programs the school has, at first we were just friends but things escalated a little to quick, it’s totally fine tho! I like her so much”

“Aw, Chaengie” Sana hugs her “We’re so happy for you, i can’t wait to meet her. She sounds so fun” 

“Thanks Sana, you will, all of you”

And then a silence sets it again, this time fill with tenderness, it was no secret that the girls had a soft spot for the cub and seeing her so happy was enough. 

It didn’t last long though, not when a very exalted Momo walked in. 

“Sorry! I got distracted, what did i miss?”

“Momo, you have no idea” Nayeon says and the fit of laughter starts again

Chapter Text

They broke up, it wasn’t a surprise for anyone, again.

Two months after the talk Chae had with the girls things stared to go bad. Rosé started to ignore her, making excuses to not see each other and Chaeyoung could sense that something was wrong and had to do something fast to try and save her relationship (that Rosé refused to make oficial)

So, one week after their 5th anniversary Rosé finally sit down to talk to her, admitting to be having doubts about the relationship and her sexuality. To say that Chae’s heart hurt was an statement but she assure herself and Rosé to be fine with it, even though it stung having another conversation about the same issue, the little cub was tired of the same “i wish you were a boy” convo, it never stop hurting.

An so she let Rosé go, assuring her that she didn’t hate her and could still be friends, because that all Chaeyoung could do, be friends with the person she was potentially in love just cause she wasn’t a boy.

She told herself it didn’t matter, and so she painted her hair again, black this time, she liked it. Her hair had grown in the course of five month and it already reached below her shoulders.

She liked how she looked, so why her ex had preferred a man before her? She wasn’t even sure she could call her an “ex”.

 She knew she wasn’t pretty like Sana or Nayeon, or all of those models she sees everyday but she wasn’t bad looking either, she had her things and was proud, but it never stopped hurting. She convince herself to let go of the girl, spending more time with Jeongyeon and Nayeon or being a third weel on Dahyun and Sana’s dates, her friends started to notice Rosé absence, raising a confused look whenever Chae avoided the subject. 

They notice though, Chae seemed a little more lonely and a little more sad, so they stopped asking until the girl confirmed their break up after Momo saw the girl holding hands with some man

“Oh yeah, we broke up” She said casually, not daring to look at her friends eyes, not wanting to see the look of pity in their gaze. 

“Oh chaeng, i’m sorry. Can i ask why?” Jihyo as motherly as always patted Chae’s back

“Well, she meet someone else, a man”

Nobody said much after that, they just move on not wanting to hurt Chae more. 

But she was hurting, and so she started to paint, simple things, things she loved. She couldn’t help but cry sometimes, when she was sure neither Dahyun or Momo listened to her sobs in the middle of the night or when she spent her time drawing until it was to hard to focus her eyes.

But she was fine, she could continue with her life with that little spine that stung her heart every time she dare to let herself feel. Slowly things started to get better, dedicating her free time to painting or just existing, it was a good routine. 

She didn’t meet nobody else, even after the six month mark of her break up with Rosé, she couldn’t bring herself to meet anyone else. 

Something changed in those months though, in October Momo had bring two new additions to their little friend group, oficially, Tzuyu and Mina. 

Chae liked Tzuyu, she was pretty and very shy but chae liked spending time with her. 

Chae didn’t like Mina, she was to loud for her, when they first meet the girl just talked to her like they were friends for years, Chae didn’t like people like that but Mina didn’t seem to mind nor care, often making the cub uncomfortable. Its not like the japanese girl was bad, she was just to much for her, that didn’t hurt the group dynamic however, they were fine when everyone else was there. 

She’d never dared to talk to the girl for her own so when Mina sat down besides her and started to make questions she wanted to run, she wasn’t used to the girl presence, at it didn’t help at all that the Japanese girl was apparently a hugger, not respecting Chae’s personal space often, which only made matter worse, she didn’t hated hugs or a few stolen kisses here an then in the cheeks.

Sana was one of her best friends after all but she had know sana for over 5 years now, so it was a lot more different when a girl you meet a few weeks ago kisses you and hugs you, a pretty girl at least  

“Ah chaengie. You're so soft and pretty, let’s get marry!” Mina said, very excited while hugging Chaeyoung arms, the latter could only laugh between teeth. 

She knew she was kidding, she had to be right? 

Momo hadn’t told her anything more than “She’s just a new friend, oh and also a Japanese like me!” so she had no idea if she was straight or not

”she must be” she though “Mina it’s beautiful, so maybe she has a boyfriend or whatever”

She was indeed beautiful, she knew everyone thought so, so then Chaeyoung was more than startled when Mina started talking about a date she had, with a woman, out of nowhere too, the cub couldn’t help to ask herself is everything she knew about the girl was wrong.

It didn’t take long to chaeyoung to feel bad about her feelings, Mina was nothing but nice to her and she had reacted wrong

So then she started to make it up to the girl, returning her hugs whenever she came closer, smiling at her when she made comments about how cute was Chaengie and how they should get married to prove to her how good of a wife she would be.

Soon they were talking on the phone, almost everyday now. Mina promised baking Chaeyoung some cookies for valentine’s day to show how “good wife she is” cause that’s other thing she started doing, Calling her “her wife”

Chaeyoung didn’t mind, she tried to ignore the butterflies forming in her stomach at the pet name, reminding herself that “No, Mina is dating someone” and when Momo told her she was that way with everyone she understood with a little disappointment in her chest. 

“She’s a little weird honestly” Chaeyoung had said “She texts me every day and when i answer she stops responding, she even started calling me “babe” out of nowhere too”

“Well you know Mina, she has this thing with being affectionate to people” That didn’t help Chaeyoung

“She even said she’d bake me cookies as my gift for valentines” The cub said casually, this time is different tho cause Momo didn’t laugh or smile at this newfound information

“Look Chae, i know Mina can be a little to much sometimes but i really don’t wanna see you get hurt again” 

“You think she’s gonna hurt me?” She said playfully 

“I know she’s gonna do it” Momo saw Chaeyoung’s eyes, surprise behind them “She’s dating someone, and i just wanna warn you before it’s too late for you, she can be a very good friend but she’s a terrible partner”

“Don’t worry Mo, it’s not like i’ll fall for her. Im not ready after…what happened with Rosé, i just wanna spend time by myself”

“I just wanted to make sure you didn’t confuse your feelings” 

“I won’t” She tried to play it off, ignoring the pang on her chest.

And Chaeyoung really tries, she still does all her usual stuff trying to keep herself busy and burry Mina at the back of her mind, she lost count of how many excuses she made in the past week trying to avoid the girl often opten to spent her time concentrating on her paintings. 

And then the day she feared most came, Valentine’s day. 

She wake up with a groan, listening the sounds of Momo and Dahyun getting ready in the morning. The voice of Dahyun resounding loud through the walls probably worrying about her surprise to Sana.

“Chaeng!” Dahyun barging at the door “Wake up! You need to get dressed” She opened the courtains bringing a groan once more from Chae.

“Why?”

“Because it’s valentine’s day! You have to get ready”

“What are you talking about? I don’t have a date” She sat on her bed, confused 

“Mina unnie told Sana you did” 

“What?!” Mina? Had told Sana? Wait, so what happened with her own girlfriend?, Dahyun could sense the confusion from the girl. 

“She’s still going out with her girl, she just told Sana that wanted to make some time for her ‘wifey’ ”

“Oh my god, her girlfriend is gonna kill me! I basically stole Mina from her without doing anything” She passes her hand trough her hair, exasperated. The nerve of that girl, now she’s supposed to accept, just because?

“So…What’s up with Mina?” Dahyun smirks, raising an eyebrow

“Nothing! We’re just friends!” She ignores the suspicious gaze upon her 

“Come on Chaeng, i know you. You're guys have something going on, i mean i thought you were dating cause it looks like she spends more time with you than her own girlfriend” 

“She does?!” This is bad, Chaeyoung thinks, afraid Mina’s girlfriend was gonna go after her, she didn’t knew the girl personally but by the photos she found in Mina’s phone (totally not on purpose) she was never gonna make it out alive if it came a time to fight her. 

“Well yeah, you’re the one going on a date with her aren’t you?”

“So…” Dahyun came closer, sitting on the bed apparently forgetting they were supposed to be ready “How you feel about her?”

“She’s nice, and pretty. Really pretty”

“And?”

“There’s nothing more, i don’t even know her that well. We’d been talking for a month now and i didn’t even like her before that so…”

“Then this is your chance”

“What?”

“Look chaeng, its not my place to tell you what to do but i don’t wanna see you like this any more” She reached to grab the cub’s hand 

“Like what?” 

“All gloomy and sad” Chaeng opened her mouth to let an offended scowl out

“Im not!”

“You totally are! Look, i just think that this is your chance to figure things out, get to know her better. You deserve being happy and i know this thing with…-She quiet down a little not wanting to say her name” …her, hurt you more than you let yourself show. Mina seems to be a great girl, she’s cool and i’m pretty sure she likes you”

“Dahyun unnie…”

“Yeah, yeah. I know, just don’t let this opportunity go to waste”

“I don’t think there’s an opportunity when the other person isn’t single, isn’t it?”

“Well for what Sana told me, Mina is just fooling around”

“She is?”

“I mean, yeah. Mina told Sana she was just having fun, so why not having fun with you?”

“I guess i’ll try…”

The bright smile of Dahyun calmed her nerves down a little, still insecure about what she was supposed to do, just go on the date with her, pretend everything’s alright and let Mina cross all the boundaries she’s built around her for months? 

It didn’t sound like a bad idea at all, right? 

But that was the thing, she didn’t thought it was a bad idea

Sure, she had spent weeks trying to ignore her little crush and move on. Maybe failing more than she could recall, she wasn’t the one to blame though, nobody could resist Myoui Mina’s gummy smiles (not even Jihyo)

“What i’m even thinking about?” Chaeyoung sigh, that girl was gonna be the death to her

-

“Good morning little beast” Momo chirped at Chaeyoung from the counter in the kitchen 

“Morning Momo unnie”

“So…i was told you have a date” Momo smirked, sipping from her cup of coffee and trying to hide her smile behind it

“I was told the same thing” 

“Who’s the lucky girl then?”

“Mina unnie”

Momo couldn’t hide her surprise, coughing violently after taking a big sip of coffee. 

“Mina Myoui?!”

“Um, yes?” Chaeyoung said sheepishly 

“The Myoui Mina?! Japanese?! penguin?! Her?!” Momo raised her voice, walking fast to chae and grabbing her shoulders with a little too much force

“Yah! Momo unnie, let me go!”

“Im sorry! I- just, what?!” She stutter

“I know! I didn’t even knew about it until like 30 minutes ago, Dahyun unnie told me” Momo was flabbergasted 

“That bitch”

“Momo unnie!” She warned 

“Im sorry! Im just surprised you two are going out. How did this happened? Did you not listened to what i told you about her? She’s bad news! Terrible news!”

“She’s your friend!”

“Don’t get me wrong, i love her but not to date my little sister!”

“We’re not dating!”

“Yet! For all i know you could end up marrying her by the weekend. I know how lesbians work, they’re fast!”

“She’s lesbian?” Chaeyoung asked with a little smile

“Oh hell no!” The dark haired Japanese snapped her finger “Erase that little smile you have there cause it’s not gonna happen”

“But…”

“No! stop” She raised a hand “Listen, i’m not telling you this cause i’m secretly in love with Mina but because i love you but she’s gonna break your heart if you continue with this crush. I get it! She’s funny, and pretty, and that beauty mark she has it’s charming, not to say her gummy smile…”

“Sure you’re not in love with her?”

“Shut up! My point is that i care for you, you deserve someone that truly loves you no matter what and Mina is not that someone”

“How can you know for sure?” Chaeyoung’s head had started to hurt “I understand Mo, you’re scared for me and i think it’s cute but maybe we have to give it a chance. Hell, i don’t even know if it really a “date date” and you’re here all nervous for me”

“I just don’t wanna see you get hurt”

“I won’t, Mina wouldn’t hurt me or anyone”

And Chaeyoung truly believed in that

Chapter Text

She was nervous, extremely nervous. After her little chat with Momo and a mini breakdown in her bedroom, she was ready and waiting for Mina to pick her up for their date. 

“Their date”, was still something very strange to say out loud. 

“You’re ready?” Dahyun asked with a smile on her face, Chaeyoung was sitting in the living room, checking her phone every 5 minutes for updates of Mina, all she had received was a text from the girl 2 hours ago

Minarin

Hey lovely, get ready. I’ll pick you up at 12 

Chae

Minarin, where we going? 

Minarin

Can’t spoil the surprise :)

And that was all, no call, no text, no nothing and Chaeyoung didn’t like any bit of it, she was getting anxious.

“Relax Chaeng” Momo said, noticing the bouncing leg of the shorter girl

Chaeyoung sighs, stretching her back to relieve some tension “Sorry, i'm just very nervous, she’s almost here and i don’t know what i’ll do when she shows up”

“You said it already, we don’t even know if it a date date and even if it is you just have to act natural, be yourself”

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Chae tensed all of her muscles

“What do i do?!” She said panicking 

“Open the door like a normal person would” Momo told her

Chaeyoung scowl, irritated “Let's get this over with” She said between teeth 

She walked slowly, cleaning her sweating hands on the shorts she was wearing and then she opened the door, a smiling Mina appearing behind it. 

“Hi Chaengie!” The penguin said with excitement, viewing the girl from top to bottom “You look so handsome” Chaeyoung simply died

“She does, right?” Dahyun interfered, coming behind the cub and grabbing her shoulders to wake her up from her trance “She spended like 45 minutes trying to find something you’d liked” 

“Oh did you now? How sweet chaeng-chaeng” Chaeyoung could feel the blush in her cheeks, her mouth opened but no words came out. 

“Okay now i think Mina broke her” Dahyun thought 

“Okay! Well, have fun. Don’t bring her early, she needs this” Dahyun watched Mina closely, her tone serious this time “Take good care of her or you’ll have problems with me”

Mina smiled more, rolling her eyes a little “Don’t worry Dahyun-ah, she’s in good hands” 

“Alright then, don’t do anything i wouldn’t!” Chaeyoung seemed to wake up, looking at Dahyun

“That doesn’t say much”

“Just go!” 

And Dahyun closed the door, not waiting for a response. 

“That little…” She said annoyed “I’m sorry about her, she’s just excited” 

“It’s okay, i think it’s cute she cares for you this much” Mina said, guiding Chaeoung with a hand on her back “So, are you ready for this?” 

What’s even this?

“I am, where are you taking me?” 

“Ah, it wouldn’t be fun if i told you the surprise now” They walked to the elevator, mina watching Chaeyoung from the corner of her eye “I meant it, you look handsome”

This caught Chaeyoung off guard, her heart skipped a beat. 

“Oh, umm…I” She stumbled with her words “I’m sorry, i…” What the hell was she supposed to say to that? “I suck at this, sorry. What i wanted to say is thank you, you’re very nice”

Mina giggled loud and Chaeyoung couldn’t help but to stare at her in awe

She’s so pretty… 

“What’s so funny?”

“You”

The elevator door suddenly opened, they both entered, a uncomfortable silence setting in 

“Um, i…” Chaeyoung started, stuttering a little “I also think you look beautiful today” She didn’t dare to look her in the eyes, she was sure she was a blushing mess

God Chaeyoung, get a hold of yourself 

She was lost in thought when Mina came closer and pressed her lips against her cheek. Chaeyoung opened her eyes, confused. 

 Mina smiled, this time was her turn to be a blushing mess, they locked eyes for a few seconds before breaking the contact “Thanks chaeng”

They stayed in silence, avoiding each other gaze, until the door opened and they step out 

Mina guided her to the exit, her shoulders brushing lightly which only made the butterflies on chaeyoung’s stomach worse

She felt so dumb, she was acting like a highschooler for what? A girl who isn’t even single?

“We’re going to eat first, i assume you haven’t” Mina interrupted her thoughts

“Oh yeah, that’d be great. Where we going?” 

“A surprise” Mina winked, she should have expected that. 

“Lead the way then”

-

Chaeyoung was nervous again, they were standing outside a coffee shop though it wasn’t a regular coffee shop, it was Chaeyoung’s favorite place on earth. 

She went there regularly, for anything really. She remembers spending her time there, writing her poems in the corner or just watching the streets for inspiration. 

The place had something that’d made her feel safe, comfortable, cozy

Where on earth did Mina knew about it? 

“Do you like it?” Mina asked, Chaeyoung just stared at her  “Dahyun and Sana helped a little” Ah, there it is, Chaeyoung thought

“I figured”  

“So, you like it?”

“I love it!, Minari this is my favorite place in the city, hell, even in korea!” Mina showed her gummy smile, hugging chaeyoung's arm 

“I’m glad you like it, lovely. Now let’s get inside, we’d got things to do after this” 

Mina held the door open for her, signaling her to enter and the cub complied. 

They sat at a table far from the few people there, a waitress walked towards them smiling at the cub.

“Well, hello again Chaengie” The pale girl said 

“Somi! Hi, how’s it going?” The shorter girl answered with the same excitement 

“Great, you’re talking to the new manager actually” Chae’s smile grew even more 

“That’s amazing, Somi! Oh my god, congratulations, really” The latter just smiled more, a little shy. 

“Thanks chaeng, what brings you here?” a cough caught their attention

“Oh, right” Chaeyoung said sheepishly “This is Mina, my…”

“Girlfriend” The japanese said before Chaeyoung could comprehend what was happening “I’m her girlfriend” 

“Nice to meet you, Mina” Somi looked at her and the penguin held her gaze. A noise was heard as more customers were entering the place, they broke the contact and Somi sight lightly “Okay, i will be right back to take your orders, nice to meet you again” And she left, leaving an short circuited Chaeyoung at the table and a very oblivious Mina. 

“Do you think i should have the red velvet cake or just a french toast?” Mina asked, not noticing that the cub was processing what she said 

She introduced me as her girlfriend?! 

Honestly, what the fuck is wrong with this girl? First the improvised date and now this?

 Why are lesbians so fucking complicated, god. This is so wrong, I have to get out of here before she decides we have to get married. 

Oh my god! 

Momo was right! 

Fuck! 

This girl, i swear- 

“Chaeyoung” The girl said, getting the attention of the cub “Are you okay? You were spacing out” 

“Eh? Oh! Yeah, i was just…” She cringed at her stumbled words “Thinking”

“About what?”

“You” 

Mina was shocked, certainly not expecting that answer

“I mean! What you said, you introduced me as your girlfriend” Chaeyoung looked down at her hands 

“Ah, that!”

“That?!” That’s all you have to say? Chaeyoung though, a little irritated 

“Yeah, that. What was that?”

“i didn’t think you’d have a problem with me calling you that, we’re on a date after all- 

“A fake date” She couldn’t help but say with a tone more harsh than intended 

Chaeyoung instantly regretted saying that, looking at the hurt that flashed through Mina’s eyes before disappearing and turning into something more scary, more empty. 

Before the cub could open her mouth to talk, the food came and Mina avoided her eyes completely, not lifting her gaze from the plate in front of her.

They ated in silence, Chaeyoung tried to initial some small talk, asking her about the weather and her classes in the University, obtaining only one or two words from the Japanese

Was her comment that hurtful for her? Chaeyoung didn’t understood why the girl was acting like that, it was a fake date wasn’t it? 

Unless the girl didn’t want it to be fake? 

Finally, they finished eating, Chaeyoung took care of the bill, while Mina excused herself to the restroom.

Is she even coming back? What if she leaves me here? Agh Son Chaeyoung you’re so stupid for saying that! 

“You’re ready?” The japanese said, her tone serious 

Chaeyoung look at her, before standing “Sure, let’s go”

Mina turned around, without waiting for the shorter girl and exited the place. 

They walked in silence, their hands brushing lightly this time. Chaeyoung had to resist the urge to interlace her fingers. 

They kept like this for a while, the cub was more occupied worrying about what to say and Mina seemed lost.

“Minari” The cub said and the latter just hummed as a response. 

This is not good  

“Minari” She repeat, waiting for a verbal response “Minarin, look at me, please” Chaeyoung grabbed Mina’s arm, stopping her from walking. 

“I’m sorry” She lifted her face with delicate hands, each palm caressing Mina’s soft cheeks “I shouldn’t have said that. It just confused me a little and it’s no excuse for me talking to you like that. Will you forgive me?” The japanese finally stared at her with an unreadable expression

“No, i’m sorry” Mina sigh “I thought i was clear with my intentions but you’re right, this is confusing. I’m sorry”

“It’s okay, now” The shorter girl said “Just don’t ignore me like that ever again, i can’t stand an angry Minari”

The japanese smiled, shyly at first.

“I could never stay angry at you, you’re too cute for that” They smiled at each other, the heaviness in Chaeyoung’s chest dissipating after that “Come on dork, our fake date it's not over yet”

Mina interlaced her fingers, tugging at her to keep walking and Chaeyoung simply complied, happy 

-

“Okay, now. Close your eyes” Mina demanded, they had stopped five minutes ago in front of a gigantic building

“What are we doing here?”

“Just close your eyes!”

“Okay, damn. As you wish ma’am” Mina laughed, taking the cub’s hands again

“Don’t cheat”

“I won’t!” Mina guided Chaeyoung inside the building, making sure the girl didn’t bump into anything “But seriously, where are we?”

Mina rolled her eyes at the impatience of the cub “You remember when you said that you wanted to see that Van Gogh art exposition?”

“You remember that?! It was a comment i made almost two months ago, we weren’t even close back then” 

“Of course I remember, I listened to you. You can open your eyes now by the way”

And chaeyoung did, looking around her in instantly awe. 

They were in the middle of a small room, illuminated by the dim light of hanging lamps. The walls, lined with his vibrant brushstrokes, display a symphony of colors that bring sunflowers, starry nights and wheat fields to life.

The creaky wooden floor bears the imprint of previous visitors, while in the air floats a subtle blend of floral scents and the characteristic aroma of fresh paint.

Chaeyoung wanted to cry, she wasn’t even sure what for. She was feeling so much in so little time. 

Mina watched Chaeyoung expectating, the girl was even more nervous for the cub while waiting a reaction from her. She couldn’t help but to stare at the shorter girl and how her eyes glowed with tears at the sight 

“Do you like it?” She came closer

“Minari, i-“ She sniffled, she wasn’t even sure when she had started to cry “How? I thought it was closed for public now, that’s why i didn’t got to see it before”

“I have a friend who knows someone” She simply said, Chaeyoung didn’t even knew what to say, she was too startled, too excited, too happy to even think of another thing that wasn’t the art in front of her, and of course the exhibition. 

She laughed, loud and free. And hugged Mina, her arms circled Mina’s neck, burying her face in her chest.

Mina’s hands quickly held Chaeyoung’s waist, bringing her closer to her body as humanly possible. She closed her eyes, inhaling the scent of Chaeng’s hair before leaving a peck on her forehead

This was different, they both felt it. They had hug before, mostly because of Mina and her love for skinship but those hugs weren’t like this, so intimate, so close, so full of affection. 

“Thanks” It was all Chaeyoung managed to say, tears already gone, her eyes still closed against Mina’s chest. “I love it”

And Mina didn’t need to hear more, so she just stayed there. 

She didn’t notice when she started to swing them slowly at the faint sound of the music in the background nor when Chaeyoung raised her head slowly to stare at her eyes, stealing quick glances at her lips

She was to busy to notice when she started to come closer, her face merely inches away from her’s. Their noses now touching, and a faint of chae’s perfume invaded her senses, her grip on the waist of the cub grew stronger and Mina tilted her head, ready to give herself up to Chaeyoung but the girl never closed the distance, even though she felt her breathing against her own lips. 

And Mina decided to do it herself, she didn’t mind, that’s why she was here in the first place, so she closed the distance between her and the cub, not really putting a lot of pressure against her lips, barely touching them, afraid of breaking the moment.

They both sigh, exasperated from more

And then, Mina’s phone rang, startling the girls, Chaeyoung finally opened her eyes, smiling shyly and putting some distance from Mina’s body but not enough

“You should answer that” Mina groaned and nodded, a little annoyed she was being bothered just when she and Chaeyoung were about to kiss.

“I think I should. Wait here”  And she left, leaving a very flustered Chaeyoung 

What the hell just happened? 

Chapter Text

What the hell just happened?

Chaeyoung was still standing in the same spot Mina let her, blushing very hard.

Did we almost kiss?!

God, Son Chaeyoung, you’re so done

Now you’re a cheater! Oh no, her girlfriend is gonna kill me.

“I’m so dead” She whispered to herself not really paying attention and not noticing that Mina was already back. 

“Who's dead?” Mina smiled at the sight of Chaeyoung jumping lightly at the little scare “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you”

Chaeyoung let out a sigh she didn't know she was holding “What happened? You were gone for a while”

“Miyeon was going crazy” And Chaeyoung’s mouth suddenly went dry.

Miyeon, of course it was her. Miyeon, Mina’s girlfriend

Miyeon, not her.

And she felt so dumb, so hurt thinking of what a fool she has been, almost letting Mina kiss her, almost letting her go through her walls, she was stranded there, not really knowing what to say, how to feel.

Sadness? No, she knew it was a fake date and Mina was, in fact, not single

Dumb? Yeah, maybe that could be. How did she let this happen? The Japanese wasn’t the only one to blame.

No, it wasn’t any of that.

She was angry, at herself for letting a girl she didn’t even like before take her on a date, at Mina for being Mina, at Dahyun for convincing her to go out and the universe for putting her in this position.

“Chaeyoung?” Mina asked, reaching to hold her hands slowly.

“What?” The cub said, not reacting at the touch of Mina

She couldn’t bring herself to do it, not anymore, not when she only felt numb

“Are you okay?”

“I’m great” She said with a sarcastic tone what Mina didn’t quite noticed “You need to go now?”

“Yeah, sorry” Mina caressed her hands, bringing them close to her face and leaving a chaste kiss there “I will make it up to you, i promise”

“Don’t need to” She pulled away from Mina, causing her to let go of her hands, leaving the Japanese woman with a confused look on her face due to the girl's changed behavior.

“Something's wrong?” Mina tried to reach the cub’s shoulders but she backed up when she noticed how tense Chaeyoung was, the girl just nodded and began walking.

Mina stayed there, confused

Had she done something bad? She didn’t think so

She quickly followed the cub, who was already close to the exit.

They left the place, and Chaeyoung found out that the Japanese girl had already called a cab, she thanked Mina internally for that. She wanted to leave, fast.

She felt uncomfortable, the knot on her throat was strong and her eyes started to water.

She felt so useless, so hopeless and so alone.

She wanted to cry, but she couldn't in front of Mina, so she blinked fast trying to fight back the tears.

“Chaeyoung” Mina called, signaling at her to hop onto the cab. Chaeyoung just nodded, not daring to see the girl.

They sat next to each other, Mina trapped the girl before she could pull away and had buried her face on her neck, inhaling the perfume of the cub.

She felt dirty, the touch was not right. Suddenly her clothes started to feel heavy against her skin, and a little sweat was on her forehead.

She was not right.

Tears rapidly started to form in her eyes, again. But this time she couldn't fight them, with a rapid hand she whipped it, hoping Mina didn’t see it.

The japanese seemed calmed, not really paying attention to her

She was a little confused though, this had happened before.

Mina had noticed from before, how Chaeyoung usually stopped talking whenever she was sad or mad, how she would avoid looking directly at their faces.

And Chaeyoung knew Mina had noticed, she wasn’t that stupid.

But even Chaeyoung didn’t understand why that happened.

She doesn’t remember when it started, for all she knew she has been this way all of her life.
She can’t explain the sensation, it’s something in her brain, something that forbids her from talking, something that hurts whenever she is feeling angry or sad.

So she stops talking when everything hurts. Until the sadness or the angryness went away, the girls had noticed too.
Jeongyeon was the only one to approach her, asking her about it and Chaeyoung really appreciated her concerns, so she helped the girl to read and tell her what she knew.

Jeongyeon was surprisingly good at it, she had learned to control Chaeyoung swing moods after that, she spent hours studying, trying to find a reason for the non verbal girl.

She had learned to handle situations, pushing the girls away from her when Chaeyoung felt too overwhelmed. Or trying to make her laugh until whatever she was feeling transformed into something more positive.
It didn't always work, unfortunately.

There were times when not even Jeongyeon's bad jokes or Jihyo's motherly care worked to calm her down, and that caused her to go days without speaking. It wasn't that she didn't want to, I just couldn't. She felt guilty days later, and although she knew that none of her friends blamed her for her attitudes, Chaeyoung was afraid that they would get tired or offended.

They didn’t, she knew they wouldn’t ever leave her, no matter how rude Chaeyoung could be when she had those attacks.

“Chaeyoung” Mina called, with a worried look in her eyes.

Chaeyoung stared at her, confused. She didn't say a word, not that she could or would, so she just raised a confused eyebrow at her.

“We’re here, do you want me to walk you to the door?”

No, her word choked in her mouth, she didn't want to.

She wanted to get out of there, hide in her room and never come out. She wanted to run away, she was tired of Mina's gaze on her.

Why did she look so worried? I’m sick of it

“Chaengie,” Mina spoke again, touching her cheek delicately. “Are you okay?”

Chaeyoung nodded, tired.

“Do you want me to accompany you to the entrance?”

Chaeyoung denied, perhaps too much since a small flash of pain crossed her eyes.

“Okay, see you later. I'll call you” Mina told her, and tried to approach her for a kiss, fortunately Chaeyoung, even in her lost state, was able to turn her face to avoid Mina's lips, and consequently made them land on her cheek. .

“Right, goodbye Chaeng” The Japanese woman did not try to hide her disappointment but the girl was in too bad a state for her to even notice it.

So she didn't do anything, she opened the taxi door and got out, without looking at Mina in the back seat of the cab and entered the building.
Tears quickly began to fall from her eyes, she couldn't stop them, not now when she was finally alone and her chest hurt like it had never done before.

She didn't have the strength to go up the stairs so she opted to wait for the elevator. She could notice the strange looks that the other people in the lobby were giving her but she couldn't care less.

She stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for her floor, praying that none of her roommates were in.

She didn't have the strength to face their questions, she knew that if someone confronted her now she would be rude and she didn't want to hurt her friends, they didn't deserve it.

Chaeyoung practically ran to her door, trying to unlock the door with shaking hands.

It took her almost 4 minutes to do it and when she entered she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the lights off and didn't hear any noise.
She took off her shoes and left them carefully next to the door, with a groan she left her coat on the coat rack in the entryway.
She looked into the kitchen, making sure Momo wasn't there. She then walked to the living room and, not noticing signs of her friend, went up the stairs.

The doors were closed and there seemed to be no one there, so Chaeyoung walked to her room.

She slammed the door a little too hard causing a bang that made her jump.

“Great” she said to herself, lying on the bed while she closed her eyes and remembered today's events.

Tears began to fall from her eyes again, this time Chaeyoung did nothing to hide her loud sobs.

She felt so pathetic, crying in her bed over a girl.

She didn't think she would be in that position again so soon.

But she couldn't help the painful sobs that came from her throat and the pain in her chest only grew bigger. She didn't know how long she was there, lying in a fetal position with a pillow in her arms and a lot of painful thoughts in her head. .

She was almost falling asleep when she heard a noise and she quickly panicked. She could hear the laughter of her friends from the hall.

                                                                                                  -

“Chaengie!” Sana’s loud voice startled her “You’re home yet?!” She didn’t mutter an answer

“Sana, please. Shut up” Nayeon said

“I just wanna see my chaengie, i’ve miss her so much” Sana pouted and hugged Momo from behind

“She’s not even here, there’s no way she didn’t hear that scream” Tzuyu said to the girls

“She’s here, her shoes are on the entryway” Jeongyeon said

“Yeah and Mina texted me saying to check on her” Momo showed the text “That means she’s here, right?”

“Maybe she’s asleep honey, don’t worry. I’ll go check on her” Dahyun told Momo, not noticing the pet name slipping from her lips and the suspicious looks that Nayeon and Jihyo shoot at them.

“I will go Dahyunnie, don’t worry” Nayeon interrupted Dahyun, without really waiting for an answer she was already on her way to Chaeyoung’s room.
Nayeon knocked on the door “Chaeng? it’s Nay, all of the girls are also here, are you okay?” No answer and so she knocked again, this time louder.

“I’m coming in Chaeng, i know you’re here”

She opened the door, only to find Chaeyoung in her bed, with tears stain on her face.

Nayeon rapidly sat down beside her, and caressed her hair slowly. “Chaeng, what is it?”

Chaeyoung finally snapped out and made eye contact with the older girl. Her lips started to shiver, and the tears once again started flooding.
The cub threw her hands around Nayeon’s neck, making the girl fall on top of her with a surprised sound. Nayeon stood there frozen for a moment before hugging Chaeyoung too, they laid there until Nayeon’s arms started to burn for the effort.

Chaeyoung hasn't let go of her, her face deeply buried on the older girl’s neck.

She was still crying, a damp spot had appear on Nayeon’s shirt, but neither of them minded

“Chaengie, my arms hurt” Nayeon said, breaking the silence but the cub didn’t seem to mind “Chaeng, please. Let me at least lay on the bed and we can cuddle, okay?” She felt a little nod on her neck and finally freed herself from the cub’s arms

She rested now besides the cub, and Chaeyoung hugged again with so much force, resting her face on Nayeon’s chest and putting her leg on top of the tall girl, making her almost impossible to move or go

Nayeon just complied, not that she wanted to leave the girl alone anyways.

They stayed there, with Nayeon caressing Chaeyoung’s dark hair and the shorter girl shaking now and then.

“Chaeyoung” Nayeon talked, after what it felt like forever “What happened?”

Chaeyoung just moved her head to look at Nayeon’s eyes and the cub didn’t have to say for Nayeon to understand
The look on chaeyoung’s eyes showed so much hurt that she had to close her eyes to prevent her tears from falling.

She took chaeyoung’s cheeks, and kissed her forehead. Making the girl sob again, she buried herself in Nayeon’s chest

“Don’t go” Chaeyoung’s voice sounded so weak and Nayeon tightened her hold around the girl

“I wasn’t planning to” She left a kiss on her forehead again, with a heavy heart and a million questions on her mind

Chapter Text

“Chaengie” Nayeon’s sounded “We need to talk about this”

They didn’t know how many hours had passed since Chaeyoung buried herself on Nayeon’s neck and started crying. She could assume more than 2 because Jeongyeon had come not long after Chaeyoung’s breakdown to ask about them.

Luckily Jeongyeon understood quickly so she just threw a sympathetic look at Chaeyoung and assured her that everything was going to be fine. She left the girls alone, knowing that Chaeyoung was very private about her feelings.

She made sure to make up some excuse that not all the girls buyed but she guessed it’ll be enough till Chaeyoung wanted to talk about her feelings.

“There’s nothing to talk about” Chaeyoung crossed her arms, they were still in the same position only this time the little girl had stopped crying.

“Oh so you just decided to cry for almost 3 hours straight just because? And I thought Sana was dramatic” She giggle a little, trying to lighten up the mood

Chaeyoung sat up slowly, turning to see Nayeon lying on the bed.

“Unnie, why can't people love me as much as I do?” Her voice broke at the end, the tears didn't come out this time, there was no more left. none.

Nayeon feel her heart breaking again and had to really fight back her tears this time at the sight of Chaeyoung, so fragile and small in front of her.

“Oh Chaeng, what happened?” Nayeon asked, running her fingers through the hair that fell into Chae's face.

“Mina unnie” A look of confusion quickly turned to anger as she connected the dots of what could have happened.

“What did she do this time?” Nayeon's tone was harsh, almost venomous.

Chaeyoung ignored it, she was actually used to it.

Nayeon was friendly with everyone, even with people she didn’t quite like and Mina was being extra hard to like certain days, especially with her treatment towards Chaeyoung, because Nayeon had noticed, of course she did and she hated how in love Chaeyoung looked.

“We went on a date today, a fake one. But it was so weird, I know Mina Unnie is the way she is, it doesn't bother me, at least not most of the time but it confuses me too much” Chaeyoung complained “She acted jealous part of the time, and when I reminded her that it was, in fact, a fake date, she acted like I kicked a puppy in front of her and didn't talk to me until I apologized. I mean, how ridiculous was that?” Chaeyoung didn't notice how Nayeon's expression changed to a dark countenance.

“And then she took me to an exhibition, she was so nice to me. Oh my god!, I even almost let…” she cut herself off before finishing the sentence and Nayeon frowned.

“You almost let her do what?”

“I almost let her kiss me” Nayeon's reaction was so expected that Chaeyoung could only close her eyes and hope for the best.

“You almost let her do what?! Son Chaeyoung, what the hell?!” She jumped out of bed, “First of all, she has a girlfriend! What were you thinking?! God Chaeyoung knew you had a crush on her but not that you would let this happen!” Nayeon paced frantically back and forth.

“I wouldn't say a crush but yeah” Chaeyoung said shyly but shut up when Nayeon gave her a threatening look.

“Second, I'm going to murder her! She was already annoying enough with her little mission to make you play out her silly fantasy of a happy family but this? A fake date? She almost kissed you? That little b…”

“Nayeon unnie!” She cut her off

“No, don't you dare defend her now. Can't you see what she's doing to you? She's playing with you! And Miyeon! God, that poor girl” She bit her lip “Chaeyoung you have to put a stop to this, it's not healthy for anyone. You're not even a couple and you already cried for hours”

“Nayeon, it's more complicated than that...”

“More complicated? What are you talking about? She’s playing with you!, didn't you tell me earlier? You went on a fake date, fake!, You've known her for, what, less than 3 months? You didn't even start talking more than a month ago and it's ‘complicated’?” Nayeon had a look of disappointment on her face and Chaeyoung could have sworn that she had never seen her as angry as she was now, not even when Jeongyeon accidentally lost her favorite childhood stuffed animal and they didn't talk for two weeks.

“I like her” Chaeyoung lowered her gaze. Nayeon let out a sigh and sat on the edge of the bed, resting her hand on Chaeyoung's knee, tracing patterns there. It was the first time she said it out loud, it felt weird after ignoring the feeling for weeks 

“I know chaeng, but liking someone will never be an excuse to let them treat you badly,” Chaeyoung didn't look up,

“Liking someone is wanting the best for the other person without forgetting your own needs”

“I don't know what to do” The girl's voice sounded so fragile again, almost scared.

“First I need you to stop acting like a beaten puppy and hold your head up,” Chaeyoung obliged.

“Now, you just need to talk to her” Chaeyoung flopped down on the bed with a grunt of fake annoyance and Nayeon didn't resist and poked her ribs a little bit, to tickle “Listen to me” she pouted

“No, you're talking nonsense.”

Nayeon rolled her eyes.

“As I was saying, you have to talk to her. You can't ignore her forever”

“Yes, I can”

“No, you have two classes together, she's best friends with Sana and Momo and you almost kissed, there's no way you can ignore her for long”

“Agh, okay, but what will I say to her? "Oh, hi Minari, I like you, can we go on a real date this time? Ah wait, you have a girlfriend and you almost kissed me anyway, forget it"- She said sarcastically

“No, silly. Don't tell her about the crush, let alone about the kiss. Just talk to her and set boundaries, it'll make you feel better“

“I'll try”

“Okay, but for now let's go eat, the girls must be finished by now”

Chaeyoung nodded and Nayeon squeezed her shoulder affectionately.

-

“Chaeng likes Mina…” Tzuyu whispered to herself. It had not been her intention to spy on the girls, she had just gone to the bathroom but before arriving she heard screams coming from the Korean girl's room.

So she slowly approached the door, gently pressing her ear against it. Not that she needed to, Nayeon's voice was loud and clear.

She didn't understand the context of the conversation, nor why Nayeon unnie apparently wanted to kill Mina but she sounded angry. And to be honest, Tzuyu was worried about Chaeyoung, she felt a little disappointed when the girl didn't come down, she was hoping to teach her the new song she learned to play on guitar.

“I like her” Chaeyoung's voice sounded a little muffled because of the door.

What will I say to her? "Oh, hi Minari, I like you, can we go on a real date this time? Ah wait, you have a girlfriend and you almost kissed me anyway, forget it-"

Minari

wait.

Mina unnie?!

So that's why Chaeyoung was crying, tzuyu couldn't help but feel a slight anger at the situation, they all knew that the cub had a special place in the heart of the tallest one.

“Chewy! Are you okay?” she heard Jihyo's voice calling her from below.

“If you got locked in the bathroom,” Jeongyeon also spoke with a mocking tone of voice, "It's okay, just call for help, don’t try jump off the window!”

“Oh please, it was just once!” Momo complained and both Sana and Dahyun laughed, even Jihyo had to hide her laughter behind her hand.

With a sigh, she walked away from the door and down the stairs, a small smile on her face. “It was actually twice”

Momo's face paled and the girls burst out laughing again.

Chapter Text

“Chaeng” Tzuyu talked, attracting the attention of the other girls.

The cub was walking towards them with a sleepshesly smile, her eyes where a little red and puff but other then that her temple was calm, almost like nothing happened 

“Hey, chewy” Chaeyoung walked towards the girl and kissed her cheek, the dimple in the tall girl showing. They were both oblivious to the look that Jihyo threw at them, Jeongyeon and Nayeon just giggled at the clear display of jealousy of Jihyo. “Hey everyone, I'm sorry. Lost track of time

“Don’t worry Chae, there’s some leftovers in the kitchen. Sorry we didn’t wait for you, Momo was starving” Jeongyeon patted Momo on the back, a little too hard.

“I was not…” Momo grumbled.

“It’s okay guys, don’t worry. I’m not even hungry” She standed behind Tzuyu, with both hands on Tzuyu’s shoulders, putting a little pressure there, almost as a tiny massage, the latter was smiling widely and she visibly relaxed into the touch, sighing. “I’ll eat later, anyways”

“Great, then join us. We’re going to watch a movie” Dahyun smiled at the cub

“Fine, as long as Nayeon unnie doesn’t choose” Nayeon, of course, let out an offended gasp, very dramatically. 

“Yah! What do you mean by that?” Nayeon followed the cub, who started walking with Tzuyu behind her, by the hand.

“I’m not watching Twilight again, unnie”

“You liked it!”

“I'm with her on this, sometimes your movie selection worries me, Nayeonnie” Jeongyeon spoke, passing her hand discreetly around the girl's waist, and gluing her to her side, slowly directing her to the couch to watch the movie. Jeongyeon smiled amusedly at Chaeyoung.

“Whipped” Tzuyu suddenly said.

“Shut up Tzuyu” Nayeon said in a low and annoyed voice.

“Hey, don't talk to chewy like that” Sana scolded her while trying to steal a kiss on her cheeks.

“Yah! Sana unnie, your girlfriend is over there, go kiss her!” Chaeyoung complained and with one hand pulled Tzuyu, making her fall beside her on the couch, she then interlocked their arms together and put her head on her shoulder.

“It's not fair! Why can Chaengie hug you like that and I can't?,” Sana complained with a voice of fake annoyance.

“Because your girlfriend is literally sitting next to you, and Tzuyu loves me more, clearly,” Chaeyoung scoffed.

“What?! Of course not, Tzuyu clearly loves me more!”

“Stop fighting please, Sana, Tzuyu loves you just like all the others, Chaeyoung stop teasing Sana,” Jihyo pointed an accusatory finger at the girls and they could only nod, Jihyo's anger was scary.

“This isn’t over” Sana spoke delicately, sitting on Dahyun's lap and putting her legs over Momo's. 

“What are we going to see?” Momo asked.

“As none of you know how to behave, we will see what I want,” Jihyo smiled and sat down on the floor.

None of the girls said anything else, Nayeon tried to protest but Jeongyeon's hand on her waist distracted her before she could do it.

Chaeyoung smiled, Nayeon unnie was always dramatic.

She inadvertently let out a sigh that caught Tzuyu's attention.

“Hey, are you okay?” Tzuyu made sure to whisper in his ear.

“I'm fine Tzuyu, don't worry,” she smiled at her and again placed her head on the Taiwanese woman's shoulder, both smiled reassuringly.

The pain in Chaeyoung's chest dissipated a little.

Now, I am definitely fine.

-

After the fun night spent with her friends, Chaeyoung had disappeared.

She always found excuses not to attend the plans the girls planned and somehow knew which passages to take to make sure she never ran into the girls in the halls, especially a certain Japanese girl who hadn't left her head for days.

It wasn't like she didn't want to spend time with her friends, the girl's heart was breaking a little to see Sana so disappointed when she said she wouldn't be able to attend her weekly plans, it hurt her but seeing her friends meant seeing Mina and she definitely wasn't ready for that. 

It didn’t help that the girl haven’t texted her or even called her ever since the date

 Tzuyu had been trying to cheer her up by any means possible, it's not like the girl had told her anything about what happened on the date but the Taiwanese had a feeling things weren't going to go very well after what she heard and opted to cushion the fall a bit.

That was another thing Chae loved about Tzuyu, she didn't ask questions and for the two weeks she spent avoiding girls at all costs, that was a real prize for her.

She knew her strategy wouldn't last forever, sooner or later she would have to answer ask, go to the plans and even talk to Mina.

It could wait.

Unfortunately for Chaeyoung, luck was never on her side.

After having a quiet day, she decided to go back to her room and pray that Momo and Dahyun were somewhere else. She didn't feel like hiding in the library until the evening to avoid them.

She carefully entered and sighed in relief when she heard no noise, that was a great sign considering the love her roommates had for music or loud noise in general.

With a grunt she kicked off her shoes and let herself flop down on the couch, her eyelids were heavy and her body ached.

She knew he had been overexerting herself too much, she barely ate once a day and can't remember when was the last time she slept more than 4 hours.

However, she decided to succumb to sleep and heavily closed her eyelids.

“Chaeng”

Chaeyoung's eyebrows furrowed as she felt a thump between them.

"Chaeng" An insistent voice called out to her again but the girl could not open her eyes, out of exhaustion.

"Chaeyoung!" This time the voice shouted directly into her ear, causing her to lose her balance and end up on the floor with a thud

With a grunt she opened her eyes, not fully because of the light in the room. There, Nayeon was standing in front of her, with both hands on her hips and a look of frustration.

"At last, I've been calling you for minutes now!"

"Ah, Nayeonnie unnie, what are you doing here?" she sat down on the floor, clutching her head from the blow she received

"Get up, you'll go with me" The girl with a bunny smile held out a hand, which Chaeyoung accepted with disdain to get up from the cold floor.

"Nayeon unnie, I really don't feel like going out today I've been-" Nayeon's hand suddenly covered her mouth, and Chaeyoung's eyebrows furrowed at the action.

"I don't want to hear you, you're going with me today and that's final."

Chaeyoung tried to say something but the hand on her mouth prevented her so she did the first thing that came to her mind

"Yah! Son Chaeyoung, that's disgusting!" Nayeon quickly removed her hand and swiped it across the skirt she was wearing to remove Chaeyoung's drool.

"Well, that's what you get for being rude."

"Forget it, we don't have time for this, let's go" Nayeon urged the girl.

"Okay but can I at least know where exactly we're going?" The shorter girl complained, she stood in front of Nayeon with her arms crossed and one eyebrow hunched over.

"It's our girls night out at Jih’s and i’s new apartment, did you forget? Jihyo planned it months ago and I'm not going to let you stay here to rot in your bed" The shorter girl's face said it all, of course she had forgotten.

"Agh, fine. But only for Jihyo unnie."

Nayeon smiled contentedly and walked up to chaeyoung, took her cheeks in her hands and chastely kissed her nose

"Ah, Nayeonnie, stop it!"

"You're too cute chaeng, Jihyo is going to be so happy to see you, she keeps talking about how she misses you" Suddenly a bit of guilt hit her chest, she knew she had been neglecting her friends a little bit and she regretted that

"Fine, whatever" The girl's cheeks were red from the kiss, Nayeon smiled as she noticed that even her ears reddened. "Are we going or waht?"

"Right, let's go."

Chaeyoung was dragged by the wrist to the door and could only sigh heavily.

-

They arrived at the site, late. 

It didn't help much that Nayeon had lost them in a desperate attempt to prove she could navigate without the help of the GPS.

So here they were, in front of the big building.

"We made it, that wasn't so bad eh?" Nayeon tried to smile but Chaeyoung just looked at her with angry eyes. 

"This wouldn't be happening if you had listened for once!"

"Shh, stop it. We've arrived, haven't we? Now come" Nayeon was already holding the door for the little girl to pass through. 

They headed to the elevator, Nayeon took the opportunity to text Jeongyeon and let her know they had arrived.

With a noise the elevator door opened on the seventh floor and they stepped out, they walked to the end of the hallway, and located the door to Jihyo's apartment, not that it was too difficult, the laughter and muffled music was hard to ignore.

Nayeon knocked and almost immediately Jeongyeon appeared in front of them with a lopsided smile and a glass in her hand

"Ah, fancy you decided to join us."

Chaeyoung was the first to enter, taking off her shoes and leaving her scarf on a shelf  "Well, we would have arrived 30 minutes ago if Nayeonnie had listene-" The air in Chae's throat was cut short and her eyes widened. 

Nayeon, worriedly followed the girl's gaze and that's when she saw her 

Fucking Mina Myoui sitting in an armchair with a big smile on her face and a red base in her left hand.

Apparently, she had not noticed the presence of the girls, too busy talking animatedly with Momo.

Chaeyoung quickly turned around, bumping into Jeongyeon and causing some of the drink to fall on the floor, this elicited a groan of pain from the taller girl which finally caught the attention of the seated girls.

"Shit! Jeongyeon unnie, are you okay? I'm sorry" Chaeyoung quickly apologized. 

"It's okay, it was nothing. I'm fine."

When chaeyoung turned around again, strong arms wrapped around her neck and a fruity smell enveloped her nose "Chaengie! You're here!"

Sana's sweet voice sounded a little choked against the girl's hair and Chaeyoung could do nothing but return the embrace.

"I'm here, Sana unnie" She smiled and patted her back, the girl broke away from her with a smile and returned to her place.

"Jihyo unnie! Chaengie is here!" Sana shouted from her place on the sofa and a very smiling Jihyo came out of the kitchen with Tzuyu following behind her.

"Ah, chaeng. What a surprise to see you, we missed you" Jihyo wrapped her in a warm hug, strong but not as strong as Sana's, she felt safe. 

Again a feeling of guilt landed in her chest, the girls were so excited to see her and what had she done? ignored them at all costs.

great chaeyoung, you're so stupid. 

"I missed you too unnie" She smiled. 

The other girls also greeted her, after many hugs and a kiss on the cheek from Dahyun, it was the turn to greet Mina who looked at her expectantly without saying any words.

This only caused Chaeyoung's anxiety to grow. 

"Minarin" she blurted out and her breath caught in her throat when she saw Mina's gummy smile.

"Chaeng-chaeng" The girl stood up and pulled Chaeyoung's waist, until Chaeyoung was completely attached to her body and buried her head in her neck, Chaeyoung stood still for a few seconds, before running her hands across Mina's shoulders and squeezing her as well.

She could feel Mina's breath on her neck and she let out a shaky sigh that she didn't know she was holding back.

Her mind began to wander, wondering how she could feel so safe in the arms of the very person who made her cry her eyes out? How could she be holding the cause of all those sleepless nights and hidden tears?

Then something changed, and the memory of Mina leaving her for Miyeon came to her mind and a knot in her stomach settled.

She wasn't ready, it was all happening so fast. Her emotions for the girl were still unresolved. 

She didn't know how she could go from feeling so safe in her arms to being uncomfortable and tense in front of her. 

"I missed you Chaengie" Mina didn't let go of her, even if she felt the girl tense up, she took her time to let her free 

Chaeyoung said nothing as they parted and managed to make eye contact with the girl for a few seconds.

She saw the smile on her face and tried to force one too, which she guesses didn't go well.

"Okay, girls!" Jihyoyo's voice caught their attention and Chaeyoung took the opportunity to sneak to Tzuyu's side while Mina was distracted.

She couldn't see Mina's face when she did but she could feel the deep look the girl was giving her. 

"Dinner will be here in a few minutes, then we'll have a movie marathon and finish with the sleepover" She exclaimed happily.  

All the girls agreed and continued with the conversations. 

Chaeyoung however, was lost in thought, staring at the piece of furniture in front of her.

She felt a small tap on her hand, not hard enough to hurt her but to get her attention, she extended her palm on her lap and Tzuyu's fingers intertwined with hers, the girl squeezed the younger girl's hand and put their intertwined hands on her lap 

With the other hand she began to play with the girl's fingers, the touch was warm, comfortable and welcome and she was deeply grateful to Tzuyu for doing so.

"What are you thinking about?" The taller girl asked, low, so that only the two of them could hear.

"About many things."

"You want to tell me?" And the thing was, she wanted to. Normally she would have denied, changed the conversation or simply ignored the question but Tzuyu's warm gaze prompted her to speak, made her feel safe.

"It's complicated" She sighed and stopped playing with the girl's fingers, but did not let go of her hand. 

"I understand" Tzuyu smiled, her eyes closing and creating some half moons.

Chaeyoung found it extremely cute and smiled as well.

"It's going to be okay," Tzuyu spoke again, "Whatever you're thinking, it's going to work out."

And chaeyoung sighed again, dropping her head on the girl's shoulder and closing her eyes, suddenly tired.

Neither of them said anything after that, they didn't need to.

A comfortable silence settled between them, that was only broken by the girls around them, Chaeyoung could hear Nayeon and Jeongyeon fighting over something, as usual, and Sana complaining to Dahyun and Momo because they didn't pay attention to her.

She felt happy there.

Sitting next to Tzuyu and with her friends next to her being as chaotic as ever.

She hadn't realized how much she had missed this.

And yet you ignored them for weeks, you're such an idiot Chaeyoung.

And she really thought she was, lately it was so hard for her to feel anything but negative.

She was lost in thought again but a voice from far away called out to her. 

"Chaeyoung" Jihyo called her "The food is here, you and Tzuyu come here." 

Tzuyu was already almost standing up from the couch, not letting go of Chaeyoung's hand. 

Which again Chaeyoung was too grateful for.

She didn't know if the girl had seen through her and her discomfort with Mina, or if she knew something else but she was fine without letting her go from her side, at least then Mina wouldn't be able to approach her alone.

They sat down at the table, Nayeon and Tzuyu on either side of Chaeyoug, Mina surprisingly sat across from her but Chaeyoung couldn't care less, she didn't plan on looking up from her plate

"You’re okay" Nayeon's voice brought her back, it wasn't a question it was more of a statement and the warmth of the girl's hand on her shoulder reassured her.

Yes, everything was going to be fine 

"So, Chaeng. We haven't seen you in weeks, what have you been doing?" Jihyo asked, and she was lucky Chaeyoung loved her so much because otherwise she would be cursing her for drawing all the attention to her. She could see Mina's expectant look out of the corner of her eye.

"Oh" She swallowed the food she had in her mouth slowly, making time to think of something "I've been so busy with my paintings and subjects" She smiled shyly. 

It wasn't entirely untrue, yes she had been busy with her paintings while ignoring everyone else

"You should take a break Chaengie, you work too hard" Sana told her, worriedly 

"It's not that bad" She said 

"It's not that bad?...I don't know how many times I've woken up in the wee hours of the morning to see you in the living room painting, it's terrifying. Once you almost gave me a heart attack" Dahyun exclaimed and now the girl's gaze were more fixed on her.

"In the wee hours of the morning? That's not good chaeng, you should get more sleep."

"I do, Dahyun is just exaggerating" She tried to throw Dahyun a look to make her understand that she had to shut up, however she didn't seem to understand and continued. 

"I'm not exaggerating! Really, just yesterday I saw you at 3 o'clock in the morning-" She suddenly shut up "Ouch!" Her face contorted with a pained expression and Chaeyoung quickly understood that Tzuyu had kicked her under the table.

Thank you Chou Tzu, you saved me 

"Dahyunnie, what happened?"

Dahyun was still rubbing her calf from the pain and shot an angry look at Tzuyu, who ignored her but the small smile on her face showed that she knew what she had done 

"Nothing, I seem to be clumsier than usual today, I bumped into the table" She blurted out with venom in her voice and narrowed her eyes looking between Chaeyoung and Tzuyu. 

Chaeyoung threw her a pleading look and Dahyun simply sighed. 

"Be careful Dahyunnie" Jihyo said.

"Yes dahyunnie, be careful" Tzuyu told her with a soft tone of voice, which wasn't fooling anyone, she was actually teasing her

After that the attention switched to Momo, who read (surprisingly) the mood and changed the subject.

Dinner continued as normal, at the end Tzuyu helped Jihyo clear the table and the other girls scattered around the room.

Jeongyeon and Nayeon were left on the sofa together. While Sana and Dahyun chose to sit on the floor on pillows, Chaeyoung smiled at the adorable sight of the couple. Momo sat next to her, surprising the petite girl a little but she said nothing.

Finally, Jihyo and Tzuyu returned from the kitchen, sitting on the smallest couch, Tzuyu was practically almost on Jihyo's lap but it seemed neither of them minded. 

Except for the small blush on their cheeks that gave them away a bit. 

They were all there at last, but....

"Where is Mitang?" Sana asked. 

"Oh, a certain someone called her, she went out to answer but from what we heard things didn't look good" Nayeon said, glancing sideways at the little girl. 

Wait, what? 

Who did they mean by 'a certain someone'?

"Trouble in paradise?" Dahyun laughed 

Chaeyoung's eyebrows raised in surprise.

Mina was having trouble with his girlfriend? Had it been her fault? Probably yes, she clearly found out what happened.

Oh no, she was to blame 

You're so stupid Chaeyoung, always ruining other people's lives.  

No, she hadn't done anything, had she?

Of course it was, it was her fault. It was all her fault, if only she had stayed away from Mina, nothing would be happening.

"Chaeng" Nayeon grabbed her hand, Chaeyoung turned to look at her with teary eyes and rapid breathing "Easy, what's wrong?"

The girl couldn't answer, she felt short of breath and the voices sounded far away from her

"Chaeng, breathe" Jeongyeon spoke to her this time "Do you need anything?" 

Chaeyoung shook her head, closing her eyes tightly, causing tears to fall down her cheeks. 

"Chaeng, look at me" Nayeon told her, the girl paid no heed, this time she grabbed her by the cheeks "Look at me chaengie, please." 

Chaeyoung looked at her, and Nayeon smiled "You're okay, everything's okay, okay? I need you to breathe with me" Chaeyoung nodded. 

She could feel everyone's gaze on her, it made her even more anxious 

"Breathe with me, honey" Nayeon called her back, with a smile on her face "You can do it."

Chaeyoung closed her eyes again, trying to match her breathing.

Slowly, she did so.

She began to inhale and exhale in the same rhythm as Nayeon, the tears were still falling but her hands had stopped shaking

"That's it chaengie, very good. Now open your eyes" She did, the girls stood beside her with a worried look. 

Chaeyoung made eye contact with Tzuyu, who was looking at her with a concern she had never seen before.

"I'm fine" Her voice sounded hoarse.

"You're fine" Jeongyeon assured her and the girl just nodded.

"Okay, girls. Let's give her space, okay?" Jihyo told her, with a tone full of love and concern. 

Chaeyoung felt pathetic, for crying in front of her friends, for not being strong.

By allowing herself to feel 

"Chaengie, come with me" Nayeon told her and slowly lifted her by her hands. 

As Nayeon directed her to the bathroom on the second floor she could feel the door to the entrance open and Mina walked in with an annoyed expression.

They made eye contact but it didn't last more than 3 seconds before Nayeon dragged her completely upstairs. 

She could feel her eyes filling with tears again.

Looking down all the way to the bathroom, Nayeon sat her on the toilet and locked the door.

She went to get a towel to wipe the girl's delicate face, which was still silently crying, with a blank stare that worried Nayeon too much, that was not a normal stare, it was an empty stare. 

Nayeon, slowly knelt down in front of the girl to be on the same level as her, gently passed the cloth over Chaeyoung's face.

The girl seemed to react a little to the damp touch of the towel and turned her eyes to look directly into Nayeon's eyes 

"I'm not fine." 

And Nayeon's heart broke, again.

Chapter Text

Chaeyoung was not well, it was clear to Nayeon.

She had been trying to take care of the younger girl and although she already knew it, seeing the little girl sitting in front of her with lost eyes and such a weak voice admitting it, made her heart ache.

She didn't like seeing Chaeyoung so fragile, so broken. 

She wasn't like her, chaeyoung was the kind of person who lit up the room with her presence, she was the kind of person who laughed at Jeongyeon's useless jokes and guarded Dahyun and Momo with her life, she was the kind of person who listened attentively to Sana every time she talked about her adventures and helped Jihyo with everything

That was chaeyoung, so kind, so happy, so alive.

Definitely not the person in front of her 

What had happened to her chaeyoungie? When had she lost her?

She looked at the girl expectantly, this time she didn't struggle to hold back tears and the cub noticed.

She gently brought one hand up to Nayeon's level, and softly wiped away the tears that were falling down the older girl's cheeks, she could only close her eyes at the gentle touch and smiled through her tears 

"Why are you crying?" Chaeyoung's voice was hoarse, confused and Nayeon burst out laughing again.

It was a weird scene, two people in the bathroom, crying and laughing while their friends waited for them downstairs, concerned 

"Why are you crying?" Nayeon asked the same

"Not fair, I asked first" The little girl teased gently and continued to caress Nayeon's cheeks.

She looked down and sighed "Are you okay?" 

Nayeon took her time to answer, she slowly moved her head to place her lips against Chaeyoung's palm in a soft kiss, the little girl's eyebrows furrowed even more in confusion, not at the action, she was used to that kind of affection but at the intention behind it. 

Nayeon held her hand against her lips, not letting her go and the tears began to flow again. 

"God, I'm such a mess. I'm sorry, I should be comforting you, I should be telling you how much I love you and that everything is going to get better sooner or later and instead I'm just standing here crying like a stupid girl" Nayeon spoke to her 

"Nayeonnie..." The voice was soft, almost as if she was afraid to break the very intimate atmosphere that was created "I don't need you to tell me that, I just need you to be here. You're not a mess, and you're not stupid, don't say that."

And Nayeon smiled, so much so that her eyes closed a little. That was her chaeyoung, selfless, always thinking of others before herself.

"You being here is enough to know that things are going to get better." She smiled

"So, do you want to talk about what happened?"

"No, don't break the moment." 

Silence once again fell over the two of them.

20 minutes later, it was Nayeon who broke the silence. 

“Are you better?" Nayeon had opted to sit down this time, on the cold bathroom floor.

Chaeyoung nodded and sniffled her nose. She got up from the toilet bowl and went to the mirror to look at her puffy eyes "I mean, I'm not well, I wasn't ready for her to be here let alone to hear whatever happened between her and her...girlfriend" She leaned back against the bathroom vanity "But I'm ready to go back and play it out until I can go home"

"We can go now, I'm sure they’ll understand."

"No, I've already missed too many plans with you guys because of her. I miss you too much to leave halfway now: it'll be fine, I have tzuyu, I can stay with her for now, or with you though I wouldn't want to interrupt you time flirting with Jeong"

Suddenly a towel hit Chaeyoung directly in the face.

"And I can still throw more things Son Chaeyoung, so be careful" The older girl's cheeks were flushed. 

"Yeah, whatever. Come, get up, we have to go back" She rolled her eyes and gave Nayeon a hand to lift her up from the floor 

"What will you tell Mina?"

"For now, nothing. I don't want to make more drama, I'll just ignore her until I'm ready."

With a nod of affirmation from Nayeon, the smaller girl opened the bathroom door and quickly Nayeon's hand was entwined with hers.

They began to walk down the stairs and with each step Chaeyoung's heart was racing faster and faster. She saw the girls as her vision adjusted to the darkened room, they were all huddled in front of the TV, just as she had left them, with the difference that now Mina had joined them, she was sitting between Momo and Tzuyu, her gaze fixed on the film. 

Jihyo was the first to notice their presence and gave Chaeyoung a sympathetic glance, the sound of her footsteps seemed to draw the attention of the others because suddenly all eyes were on them. Except for Dahyun who lay sleeping complacently on Sana's chest.

She smiled a little uncomfortably and tried to ignore Mina's gaze until she reached her place next to Tzuyu.

The girl greeted her with a sweet smile and made room for her so that she was between her and Mina, which Chaeyoung was all too grateful for.

"Are you okay?" The Taiwanese woman asked her in a low voice and the girl could only nod with a fake smile. 

-

By the time Chaeyoung returned to herself, the clock marked almost two in the morning, most of the girls had long since fallen asleep.

Momo was lying on Mina's shoulder, both asleep, Momo snoring softly from time to time, Tzuyu lay on hers, who slept a little more gracefully than the Japanese girl. Dahyun had not moved from her position on Sana's lap and Nayeon lay by Jeongyeon's feet with a blanket over her body.

Surprisingly, Jeongyeon, Jihyo and Sana were still attentively watching the movie. One that Chaeyoung had long been bored of, her thoughts kept her busy in the meantime, rambling. 

Not many minutes later, the movie credits rolled across the screen and Jihyo with weary eyes caught her attention "Well, it's finally over."

"And there were 4 left" Jeongyeon teased even though in her eyes I could notice the tiredness.

"Not for long, I'm dead, girls" Sana told them, running her hands through her girlfriend's hair. 

"Yeah, me too" Jihyo stood up from her place "Okay, Sana, you can take the guest room with Dahyun and Momo" The Japanese nodded "Jeong, I guess you'll stay with Nayeon in her room?"

"I'm still not used to this new apartment" Jeongyeon lamented "But I guess I am".

“Don’t worry, Nayeon neither. We got lost like 40 minutes because she couldn’t find the place, and she lives here now!” Chae exclaimed and Jeongyeon laughed 

"She's definitely something else, okay, then Mina, Chewy and Chae can sleep with me." Jihyo talked  

"Oh, I can sleep on the couch, unnie. I don't want one of us to end up on the floor at night" The cub said and Jihyo frowned. 

"No, no. My bed is big enough for all of us to fit in, just a little tight." 

"You can sleep with us Chae, I'm sure Nayeon won't mind" Jeongyeon jumped in to interrupt her before she could say anything

"It's settled then, let's go" 

Sana took Dahyun in her arms and with one foot moved Momo to wake her up, who opened her eyes with a jolt. 

"What's wrong?"

"It's time to go to bed Momoring" The girl just got up with a grunt and went upstairs, letting out a small 'goodnight'. 

Sana smiled at them, still holding Dahyun in her arms and said goodbye.

Meanwhile Jeongyeon did the same with Nayeon, but failed in her mission because the older one opened her eyes and a smile graced her face

"Ah, so you'll take me to bed like this?" she brought her hands up to wrap around Jeongyeon's neck.

"I can still let go of you, you know?" she would never do that, they both knew it and the grip on the girl's neck tightened. 

"Good night, Jihyo-ah, Chaengie" She said goodbye and climbed the stairs.

Meanwhile Jihyo was in charge of waking up Mina and Tzuyu.

"Hey, Tzuyu, Mina. You guys will sleep with me, okey? Come on, it's late." 

The two nodded and got up, heading to the second floor, too sleepy to protest.

"Good night chaeng, will you be alright?" Jihyo asked her with a loving tone. 

"I will be Jihyo-ah, don't worry. Go get some rest" The Korean quickly walked over and planted a kiss on her forehead, she walked up the stairs and the sound of her bedroom door closing could be heard.

Chaeyoung took her time going upstairs, her body felt heavy but her thoughts ached more, they kept coming, one after another, each one more painful than the last.

She was lost in this sea of mental pain, until she accidentally hit her ribs against the stair frame and momentarily, the mental pain became physical. 

Momentarily, her thoughts stopped and she could only concentrate on one thing, the pain of the blow, the shortness of breath it had caused her and the bruise that was already forming there, it hurt like hell. 

But at least her thoughts had stopped and it was enough for an idea to mount in Chaeyoung's head.

An idea that although it had crossed her mind, she had always been too scared to try.

Come on Chaeyoung, just try it. 

A small voice called out to her, the same one that had been tormenting her for weeks. 

She closed her eyes and with an inhalation of air pushed her body back against the stair frame, hard, hard enough to bring tears to her eyes again from the stinging.

 She clenched her fists so tightly that her knuckles turned white and she had to bite her lip hard to keep from letting out a cry of pain.

It's not enough. She thought, and again, slammed her body against the wooden structure, again and again. Until the pain was too much and breathing became more difficult. 

She leaned back against the wall, with gasping breaths and blood coming out of her lip thanks to how hard she bit it.

After what seemed like an eternity, she walked hunched over to Nayeon's room, opening the door she saw that the two girls were sound asleep and didn't seem to have heard anything.

She sighed in relief and painfully lay down next to Nayeon, who quickly wrapped her arms around her, causing Chaeyoung to grunt in pain as Nayeon's hand accidentally made contact with Chaeyoung's bruised ribs.

She could feel Nayeon's breath on her neck, and the contact made her burst into tears. 

As quietly as she could, she cried because of the pain, she cried because of what she had done, she cried because she felt there was something wrong with her, and she cried because of Mina.

That night, Chaeyoung did not sleep at all 

Chapter Text

Chaeyoung opened her eyes with a groan of pain, her ribs hurted like hell and the rapid short breaths she was taking made her lungs burn

She did not fall asleep that night, the pain kept her up, the physical pain. 

Her thoughts didn’t invade her this time, that made her happy, for the first 4 hours, then she started to feel guilty.

The arms wrapped around her didn’t help much, but she couldn’t stand, not without waking up the two other girls.

So she laid there, with her eyes focusing on the roof above her and the breathing of the older girl on her neck

Suddenly Jeongyeon moved, and instantly wrapped one arm around Nayeon’s waist, the cub smiled softly. Those girls really needed to do something about their feelings or Chaeyoung would die.

She laid there a little more, until she locked her eyes on the clock in the night stand of Nayeon and saw that it was already 4:30 in the morning, she was bored. 

So she decided that it was time to get up without making the girls worry.

She began to stand, slowly. Making Nayeon’s arms to fall onto the bed not so softly, she winced, waiting for her to wake up but she didn’t and she sigh of relief 

She then standed and covered Nayeon’s body with the blanket.

Chaeyoung her way to exit the door when suddenly a hand grab her arm, slowly. She turned around to see a half sleep Nayeon with a frown

”Where are you going?” She asked, not being able to fully open her eyes

”It’s alright unnie, I was just going to the bathroom. Sleep, okay?” She caressed Nayeon’s hair, knowing it wouldn’t take that long to make her fall asleep again.

”Are you coming back?” 

“I am, Nayeonnie. Sleep” She lied, though it didn’t matter that much as the girl was already falling asleep.

She turned again, making sure Nayeon was indeed asleep and grabbed her things before leaving the room. 

The house was quiet, and dark. She could only hear the birds starting to sing softly and the sunlight barely appearing through the curtain.

She didn’t knew what to do now, her ribs hurt so much and maybe leaving the comfortable bed wasn’t for the best but she couldn’t go back, not now, so she decided to get out of the apartment and find something to eat and maybe prepare breakfast for the girls. 

She knew no places were open at that hour, so she grabbed her car keys and decided to go to the farmacy, the pain was becoming unbearable.

She didn’t bother to leave a message for Nayeon or the girls, she would be back before they woke up.

The drive was relatively fast, but she took her time and made a 10 minutes ride 30 after giving a few more turns than usual. 

Truth is, she didn’t want to come back, not with Mina there but she knew she couldn’t help it.

Chaeyoung entered the farmacy, her hands instantly grabbing her sides in pain, she walked hunched and slowly. Fortunately there was no one else there, so she took the painkillers and some bandages and went to pay.

When she left the farmacy the sun was already showing and the cub groaned. 

She didn’t know she took that much time, so she walked as fast as she could to her car. 

The clock on the car showed her it was early, just 6:00 a.m but she didn’t wanted to go back

So she went to the convenience store to buy some things to prepare breakfast.

She took her time choosing the stuff and when she was going to the car she saw it was already 7 in the morning.

That gave her almost 2 hours to prepare something before the girls started to wake up, mostly Jihyo 

Chaeyoung started the car and began driving, she arrived minutes later. 

With both hands grabbed the bags from the car and with a groan opened the door of the building. 

Her ribs really hurt so much

After fighting with the door of the elevator she got out on the floor of Jihyo’s and Nayeon’s apartment, she walked the long corridor and delicately put the bags on the floor to open the door. Quickly she did so and entered the place, it was quiet which was good.

In the kitchen she skillfully began cooking the breakfast, when the smell hit her nose she realize she hasn’t eaten since yesterday and honestly a granola bar barely qualify as “food”, she ignored though, she didn’t have time to eat, not now

After a while the food was ready, set in the low fire to keep it hot til the girls woke up, that should not be long. She checked the food before grabbing the rest of the bags and going to the bathroom, locking the door.

With a wince, she raised her arms slowly and got rid of her blouse, her breath caught on her throat

Her ribs were full of bruises, some purple and some barely coming out, the most part of her left side was bright red and the color worry Chaeyoung 

She passed her finger above the bruises, flinching suddenly because of the pain the touch brought her. 

With trembling hands she opened the bandages and carefully wrapped the soft fabric around her ribcage.

It hurt so much she had to grit her teeth to not scream in pain.

Finally, she finished applying the bandage and taking out the pain pills she bought from the bag, she took two out of the package without first checking if it was the correct dosage.

She didn't really care, she just wanted it to stop hurting for now.

Chaeyoung took two quickly and hid everything under the bathroom vanity to take it out before leaving and avoid questions for now.

She checked herself one last time in the mirror to make sure no bandage was showing.

And went out, immediately outside she began to hear the bustle of her friends, who were definitely awake by now, on her way to the kitchen she saw Dahyun, Momo and Sana cuddled up in bed, Chaeyoung jumped a little "aw" at the cute sight.

The first thing she saw when she came downstairs was Jihyo and Jeongyeon, putting the dishes on the table, while Tzuyu was chatting with Nayeon on the couch and Mina was focused on her cell phone.

"Good morning" Chaeyoung said, surprising the others.

"Chaeyoungie, good morning" Nayeon greeted her "You did this?"

Chaeyoung nodded enthusiastically and smiled at the girl "Yeah, I got up a little early and decided to make breakfast, to make up for all those canceled plans. Sorry about that" She added more softly to the last sentence and Jihyoung approached her from the kitchen.

She wrapped her arms tightly around Chaeyoung's shoulders and sighed.

"Thank you Chaeng, you didn't have to."

"I wanted to" She assured the smaller one "Besides, it was nothing. I like cooking" Jihyo pulled away from her and squeezed her shoulders affectionately.

"Thanks, still."

Surprisingly, Mina didn't look up from her cell phone in the whole interaction, which Chaeyoung was internally grateful for, but at the same time it confused her, had she done something wrong?

She couldn't think anymore about it as Tzuyu approached her slowly and guided her to the table.

Not long after Dahyun, Momo and Sana joined, the latter with a grin on her face. Soon enough they were all enjoying the breakfast Chaeyoung had prepared.

”This is delicious unnie” Tzuyu said, smiling 

“Yeah chaeng, I didn't know you could cook. Maybe someone could learn from you” Jeongyeon grinned and Nayeon swatted her shoulder “What? It’s not like i’m the one almost burned the kitchen down” She glanced over at Momo, the japanese was blushing 

“I didn’t burn nothing” 

“We had to call the firemen” Dahyun said

”And what's your point, heh?” Momo crossed her arms above her chest, trying to look intimidating but honestly she looked cute.

Sana couldn’t resist pinching her cheeks, soon the japanese was smiling again 

Whipped Chaeyoung thought

”Hey chaeng, are you okay? You haven’t touch your food” Jihyo signaled the plate 

“Oh, don’t worry Jihyo unnie, i actually eat before you all woke up” Liar “I’m not that hungry anymore”

Jihyo didn’t seem too convinced but she nodded and got back to talk animatedly with Nayeon.

Despite the noise around her, Chaeyoung could not concentrate on anything but the bandages wrapped tightly around her ribs. The cloth cut off her circulation and made it even more difficult for her to breathe.

Perhaps she squeezed them too tightly, however the pills seemed to be doing their job since the pain had subsided.

The time after that passed normally, all the girls helped clear the table and wash the dishes. 

Amidst laughter and jokes, the kitchen and living room were cleaned and they began to prepare their things to leave.

And even after all, Mina didn't seem to look at Chaeyoung, she was talking animatedly with Sana and Momo, she seemed happy but she hadn't looked at Chaeyoung all morning and that made her nervous. 

What could she have done to make Mina pretend she doesn't exist?

Nothing, right? She was the one who had hurt Chaeyoung, not the other way around. 

"Chaeyoung-ah" Tzuyu's sweet voice called out to her "Do you think you can take me home? Mina unnie gave me a ride but it looks like she'll be busy today." 

Chaeyoung smiled, genuinely this time. Truly, the girl had a very special and soft place in his heart, she was unable to say no to her "Sure Chou Tzu, it's no problem. Anyone else need a ride?" 

"Nah, I'll stay here for a couple more hours. Nayeon will give me a ride" Jeongyeon spoke from the couch, Chae nodded. 

"Well then I guess Dahyun, will you take Momo and Sana unnie?" she confirmed her question when Dahyun raised a hand and formed a gesture that said 'okay' "Excellent, wait Chou Tzu, I'll get my stuff upstairs and we'll go."

Without waiting for an answer she began to head up the stairs, holding her left side, full of discomfort from the bruises.

Quickly she went into the bathroom and took out the things she had hidden before, then she took her things from Nayeon's room and checking that she didn't leave anything behind, she nodded to herself and went downstairs 

"I'm ready Chewy, let's go?"

The taller one nodded and turned to say goodbye to the others.

Chaeyoung just looked and did the same seconds later, it didn't do much good since Nayeon and Sana wrapped their arms around her, placing silly kisses on every part they could on her face, cheeks, forehead and neck. 

Chaeyoung held her breath, feeling the girls' hands wrap around her not-so-healthy ribs, she hoped they didn't feel the bandages.

Luckily, Jihyo had to intervene before the girl died from the affection of the other two, the latter just smiled at Chae and made her promise not to disappear like that to which the smaller Korean accepted without hesitation.

She said goodbye with a simple 'bye' to Jeongyeon and Momo, who seemed to be busy with a game on the Japanese girl's cell phone, and finally looked at Mina, who was already glaring at her.

Chaeyoung's breath was short and her lips were dry, it was the first time the girl had seen her all morning.

Neither said anything, Mina quickly broke eye contact, and chaeyoung felt dumb.

"Okay, we're leaving. See you later" They walked out the front door, Tzuyu following close behind. 

She didn't say anything, but chaeyoung could feel her presence nearby, it reassured her 

They both went down to the lobby, quietly and so they headed to the car, once inside Tzuyu decided to talk

"Chaeng..."

"Mhmm?" Chaeyoung made a questioning sound. 

"Let's go get some ice cream?" 

The cub laughed out loud, free and sound. The request had been to cute for her and of course, she couldn't say no.

-

After a fun afternoon with the Taiwanese and lots of ice cream, Tzuyu had invited her to spend the night in her room, to which she reluctantly refused but could not do the same when Tzuyu put on her favorite movie and ordered food, so she stayed a couple of hours longer, no problem.

However, she had been away from home, probably Momo and Dahyun would be wondering why she hadn't come to the apartment and most of all, why she didn't give them any notice.

I don't think it's that bad

She thought as she got out of the car and took the keys out of her bag to have them ready, as she went up to her apartment she noticed the electronic clock on the wall showing '8:20'.

it’s 8:20 already? Yep, I'm definitely dead

She opened the door heavily and saw her roommates sitting on the couch, Momo was curled up with her head in Dahyun's lap and the Korean seemed to be entertained by the TV as she ran her hands absentmindedly through Momo's hair.

Okay, now I just have to walk without being overheard.

She took off her shoes as quietly as she could and walked in a squatting position so that her companions wouldn't see her. She crawled on the floor as best she could, due to her injured body.

Just as she was about to climb the stairs, another voice called out to her. 

"May I know what you're doing?" Apparently Chaeyoung hadn't been quiet enough since Dahyun was standing in front of her with a frown on her face and her hands on her hips. 

"I...mmmh...go to my room?" She foolishly excused herself and smiled to avoid the girl's fury at her but sighed when Dahyun didn't change her expression "Okay, fine! I just got here and I didn't want to get scolded, you can be really mean to me!"

"Of course not!" Dahyun shot back offended.

"You are being mean right now!"

"Because you arrived at almost 9 o'clock at night, without telling where you were going or who you were going to be with!" 

"I was with Tzuyu, we went to eat ice cream and then watched movies!"

"Oh, so you ate ice cream without me?! Not cool NoJam Bro, what happened to the school club meal? I thought it meant something to you!" She exclaimed dramatically, coming up next to Momo, who had stood up when she heard the commotion. "Just tell me if you hate me."

"Dahyunnie, we love you! Sorry, I got too distracted by Tzuyu, I should have invited you, let me make it up to you, sorry, I shouldn't have, I didn't know you were going to be sad" Chaeyoung started to say quickly, her hands playing with each other to contain her anxiety 

"Chae, just kidding. Come on, I know I would never be left out, besides I spent a nice afternoon with Sana so thank you so much for that" She said laughing and took Chae's nervous hands "Easy" she caressed them and the little girl sighed.

"We are watching a movie Chaeng, do you want to join?" The Japanese soon asked her. 

"Oh, don't worry Momo unnie, I'm tired and I think I'll go to sleep. Have fun" The girls just nodded and went back to their initial position.

Chaeyoung watched them one last time and went upstairs.

Once upstairs she didn't bother to take off her clothes and threw herself on the bed, tired.

Her ribs had started to ache again and the bandage didn't seem to help anymore. 

She got up in pain and went to the bathroom, lifting her shirt and seeing that the state of her body had not improved, she really wanted to sleep that night so she went to her bedside table to get the pills when the sound of her cell phone caught her attention. 

She hadn't checked it all day, she had a few messages from Nayeon, probably some picture that made her laugh, also some accusatory messages from Dahyun that made her feel guilty again.

But surprisingly, the name on her screen was the last one she expected to see

"Mina..." She whispered breathlessly and opened the message with trembling hands 

Minarin

Hey, can we talk?

Her hands shook even harder, her stomach formed a knot, and she swallowed dryly. 

Fuck  

Chapter Text

Chaeyoung was on the verge of mental collapse, after Mina's ambiguous message, the girl hadn't communicated with her again, no calls, no messages, no nothing. 

To make matters worse, it wasn't like the girl was hiding from her as Chaeyoung had previously done. Rather, Mina was going about her normal life, the only thing that had changed was that Mina seemed to ignore the younger girl's entire existence.  

And by this point it was no longer making Chaeyoung sad, it was making her angry. 

How was it possible for the girl to ignore her from one day to the next? Did her girlfriend have anything to do with it? 

The thing is, it had been almost 4 days since Mina's message and Chaeyoung couldn't take it anymore. 

She was about to continue dying of stress in her room when Dahyun rushed in and closed the door, which was useless because no one else was there since Momo had gone out. 

"Chaeng!" Exclaimed 

"Hm? What's wrong?" She was half dozing 

She quickly approached the younger girl's bed and instructed her to sit down, Chaeyoung complied and urged her to talk

"Sana unnie just got off the phone with Mina, guess what she told me?" at the mention of the girl, the younger girl's curiosity was triggered "Apparently Mina unnie has been having a lot of trouble with her girl, she said that Mina is considering breaking up with the girl in a few days."

Chaeyoung's heart stopped for a moment at the news. 

So is that what Mina wanted to talk about? Is she going to break up with her girlfriend?

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Oh please, do you think I didn't notice what happened? You go out on a date with Mina one day and the next day we don't see you for weeks?"

"Nayeon unnie...?"

"No, nayeonnie didn't tell me anything, I deduced it and your reaction to seeing mina a few days ago only confirmed it to me."

Chaeyoung grunted and laid down, putting the pillow over her face "I'm dead" Dahyun lay down next to her and poked her ribs, to which Chaeyoung jumped and let out a slight moan of pain.

Chaeyoung wasn't proud but, after all the stress of the days she had to concentrate on something other than Mina, so she took every opportunity when she felt overwhelmed to lift her blouse and strike.

"Does it hurt there?"

"It's nothing, you just caught me by surprise" Chaeyoung told her quickly, she didn't want Dahyun to find out. 

Dahyun just made a sound of approval and looked at the little girl expectantly.

"Why are you dead?"

"Mina asked me to talk a few days ago." 

"She what?!"

"And the last time we went out we almost kissed." 

"You what?!"

"And that's why I walked away from you guys."

"That’s why?!"

"Can you say any more than that?!" She yelled at her in exasperation 

"I'm sorry! You took me by surprise, excuse me, you guys what? You almost kissed? why did you forget to mention that before?!"

"I was embarrassed! I didn't know what to do and now she's going to break up with her girlfriend because of me!"

"Hey no, Sana said that Mina now doesn't feel ready to be in a relationship, apparently she ended a one and a half year relationship with someone else a few months ago and that Miyeon was her way out!" 

Chaeyoung blinked several times "What?" 

"I didn't know either to be honest, there are a lot of things we don't know about Mina" 

"I noticed" She wondered how many more things about the Japanese girl she didn't know "So, why are you so cheerful?"

"What don't you understand Chae? This is your chance to go out with her and do something about the huge crush you have on her"

"Dahyun, she already said she's not ready for a relationship and I doubt she likes me."

"But-"

"I just want to move on with my life, get over the crush and not bother with meaningless relationships."

"Chae-"

The said girl cut her off again before she could speak "I appreciate your enthusiasm but I doubt I'll do anything about it."

"I understand chae, I just thought it was your chance to move on."

"I got over Rosé..."

"You got over what she did to you?" Chaeyoung thought about it for a moment, she was no longer in love with the girl, she could greet her in the halls and even chat casually from time to time, it had stopped hurting but the thorn of what happened was still there, that wasn't going to go away."That's what I mean" Dahyun spoke after noticing the little girl's silence. 

"No promises Dahyunnie, I'll just talk to her for now okay? And then I'll figure out what to do" It was the last thing she said before getting out of bed to get ready for her day.

When she came out Dahyun was no longer in her room, she guessed she went out with Sana or went to her own room.

She headed to her closet to look for something to wear, it was really hot lately but she couldn't afford to wear something tight or short for fear that her midsection would be seen so she opted for a baggy t-shirt that Nayeon had given her on her birthday. 

As she was changing, the Korean woman's words were not leaving her head.

What would she do if it was true? 

Probably nothing, she wouldn't change anything. 

But now she would be single, she thought. 

She wouldn’t notice you even if she’s single Chaeyoung, don’t be stupid 

She grunted at the thought and shook her head several times, she had to get out of there.

-

Classes went on normally, she had to fight sleep in the middle of her boring French class which fortunately ended before she died of sleep in front of her teacher.

Now it was time for lunch, she almost always spent it with Nayeon and the others but today it seemed that none of them were around.

Even so, she found a free table and took out her sketchbook to advance her sketches when suddenly a hurried Momo sat down in front of her.

Chaeyoung looked at her with puzzled eyes, Momo was disheveled and wide-eyed, she tried to speak but only choked words came out 

"Umm, I'm not even going to ask" Chaeyoung said looking at the girl in front of her, she was still trying to catch her breath

"I...i was with Mitang...She said-" Momo spoke haltingly "She said something about you."

"Momo unnie, I don't understand, you have to breathe first and then talk, okay?" the Japanese girl nodded and leaned back against the table, chaeyoung offered her water and the girl gladly accepted, she took a last sigh and looked the little girl in the eyes 

"I was with Mina, I found her crying, apparently her fights with Miyeon are more frequent, she didn't want to talk to me about it until..." She gradually fell silent, almost like she wanted to not say it 

"Until what?"

"Until she mentioned your name."

Chaeyoung's breath caught and she could have sworn she stopped breathing for a second "What did she say to you?"

"Chaeng i-"

"What did she say to you?"

Momo looked up, her eyes reflected sadness "I asked her what was the matter with you, i was curious because you never tell me anything" She tried to play it off

"Momo unnie, I swear to god if you don't tell me now I'm going to-"

"I asked her if she liked you" She said before Chaeyoung finished her sentence "And she said...she said no, she said you were a very amazing person but she barely knew you and she didn't think she'd get to more with you" 

Chaeyoung had to process the words, her mind went blank and her mouth felt dry. She clenched her hands on her lap so hard she thought she would break the skin on her palms from the pressure and blinked a couple of times to fight back the tears 

Momo noticed her silence and started to panic "Are you okay? Are you going to cry? Oh fuck I knew I shouldn't have told you, now you're going to cry! How are you feeling? Do you want me to call Nayeon unnie? I'm going to call nayeon, just give me a minute and I'll-" Chaeyoung's hand on her wrist prevented her from making any movement, the girl's eyes were teary but no tears came out. 

"Thank you for telling me, I really appreciate it" The girl's calm voice didn't match her expression.

"Are you okay?" 

"I am." 

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I do, momo unnie! Mina and I are nothing but friends , she can think whatever she wants about me" She made a dismissive motion with her hand and made a weird laugh.

-

"That she barely knows me and she doesn't think we can become anything more?!" Chaeyoung paced back and forth in Nayeon's living room.

After her talk with Momo she couldn't continue with the classes and went straight to the only place where she would be understood, Nayeon.

She desperately knocked on the door of the apartment, hoping Jihyo wasn't there or she would start crying.

Nayeon opened the door, clearly annoyed at being woken up from her beauty nap. She was about to complain until she saw the smaller girl's expression and knew something was wrong.

Chaeoyung simply walked in and started pacing around while babbling, not noticing a very curious Jeongyeon watching her from the kitchen.

"Chaeyoung, what's wrong?" Nayeon asked, and that's how we got to the previous scene.

"Mina! That girl is so annoying!" and so Chaeyoung proceeded to explain everything that happened in her conversation with Momo, Nayeon and Jeongyeon watched her attentive throughout.

"So she just played with you?" Jeongyeon asked her.

"I told you! I don’t like her at all, that girl acted so cute with you, calling you ‘love’ and stuff like that. I knew, you see Jeongyeon? I told you and you didn't believe me, what do you think now huh?" she turned to look at the girl who raised her hands in defense.

"Bunny, I think-"

"I told you!" She exclaimed again to Chaeyoung "I knew she wasn't good for you, she made you cry so many times in what, less than a month?"

"I don't think it's time Nayeon '' Jeongyeon tried to say as she saw Chaeyoung's eyes filled with tears.

"Oh chaengie, don't cry. Come here" Nayeon saw her and opened her arms to hold Chaeyoung between them. The girl rushed over and began to cry.

Her breath began to come in short gasps and the sobs coming from her throat were painful for the two older girls. Jeongyeon at some point joined in the embrace, it was a little awkward standing in the middle of the room but neither cared.

They stayed like that for a while and Chaeyoung's sobs were the only thing that could be heard in the house until she suddenly stopped.

"I hate her" Chaeyoung said

Nayeon laughed and squeezed the girl tighter against her body "I know chaeng, I get it".

"I really liked her, first she asked me out, I even almost let her kiss me, for what? For her to just think of me as just another one of her girls?"

"Well, we should have seen it coming, after what Sana said about Miyeon just being her way of getting over her ex we should have guessed it" Jeongyeon said. 

"It doesn't matter anymore, the damage is done" The smaller one said from between Nayeon's arms "I can't do anything but wait and get over it."

"We can still plan her death and flee the country" Jeongyeon joked 

"We're not going to kill Mina" Chaeyoung frowned 

"Mmmh, we can just come and ambush Mina between all of us until we tear her to pieces, I'm sure Sana and Jihyo will agree" Nayeon said in a not so playful tone. 

The two older girls nodded thoughtfully, it seemed like they were really considering it

"We're not going to do anything to Mina, she's not worth it."

"Oh come on, this is our chance to take advantage of that little talk she gave you about how she's afraid of us" Nayeon snorted.

"I still don't know why I told you that."

Chaeyoung disengaged from the hug and sat down on the couch, Nayeon stayed in the same place, arms crossed

"Wait, what?" Jeongyeon asked confused.

"Chaeyoung here, told me that Mina is apparently terrified of us and Jihyo, she thinks we're going to kick her as soon as we see her or something" A laugh from Jeongyeon could be heard

"She's not-" Nayeon cut chaeyoung off before she could speak.

"That's why I say we should take advantage of her fear, Jihyo can bite her or scold her until she cries."

"Who would be afraid of Jihyo?" Jeongyeon teased.

"You."

"I would never be scared of Jihyo, she's-"

"When we went to the movies and she got mad at you because you got the wrong tickets" Nayeon started numbering "When you woke her up from her nap after finishing her final exams and we had to call the repairman because you broke the bathroom door trying to get away from her"

"That's not-"

"When you avoided her for 6 days because you had eaten the strawberries she kept for 2 weeks and you didn't want her to scold you..."

"Okay! I understand, you don't have to go on" Jeongyeon asked embarrassed "She can be a little mean" She whispered with a pout.

Chaeyoung snorted as she watched the exchange "Honestly, angry Jihyo is scary, I wouldn't want to be around her if she finds out what Mina did."

"I don't think it'll take her long to find out, rumors travel fast."

The girls were silent for a moment, which was not broken by anyone. Suddenly chaeyoung made a noise of confusion that caught the girls' attention.

"What's wrong?"

"I just don't understand Mina, a healthy person wouldn't deliberately do that"

"Mina is weird then, honestly I don't know much about the girl. I just know that her vibe is weird and I don't want that kind of energy close to me."

"Come on Chaeng, cheer up. Look at the bright side of things, you didn't waste your time with a person who is not worth it, it's better that you found out about this now and not in a few months when you have already fallen in love with her" Jeongyeon ruffled her hair in an attempt to cheer her up and the little girl smiled.

"Jeong is right, I know it's hard and more so because you liked her so much but this is your chance to forget and move on."

Nayeon's words stuck in her mind, part of her wanted to move on, forget about Mina and go back to her old routine, but there was a small part that really wanted to hear Mina admit what she had said, being told face to face would probably hurt the girl less than continuing to pretend that everything is fine.

If that were the case, she would be able to have closure, to forget the things that happened and actually try, this time, to be friends.

Yes, friends

Chapter Text

The days after her talk with the girls had been the most difficult for Chaeyoung, it was no use that she didn't have time to cry because of the exams, in which she was doing horribly bad thanks to her lack of concentration.

The stress was really getting to Chaeyoung and between the exams, her friends, her paintings and Mina, the little girl hadn't had time to take care of her wounds properly so her health started to deteriorate. 

"That's what happens when you get your heart broken while trying to be an academic weapon" Nayeon had once told her and although the comment had been funny to her, she couldn't help but feel the anger inside her, anger at Mina 

And then it happened, a weekend at Jihyo and Nayeon's new house, which had become their new designated place to hang out and relax, they were sitting in the living room, already with a couple of drinks on them and 'Gossip Girl' playing in the background.

Chaeyong was talking animatedly with Nayeon and Momo, they were laughing happily when she felt a pressure on her shoulder and with a confused but calm face she turned to look at the culprit, expecting to see Sana's bright orange hair next to her.

Her breath was cut off when she saw Mina's trademark brown hair instead and her suspicions were confirmed when the girl looked up and noticed her eyes. She quickly changed her gaze, tensing instantly.

Momo and Nayeon's face was no better, Momo's eyes were wide, looking back and forth between Mina and Chaeyoung, while Nayeon was opening and closing her mouth like a fish out of water. 

The atmosphere became uncomfortable and Chaeyoung's body tensed even more as Mina moved slowly trying to find a more comfortable position "Why are you so tense Chaengie?" Mina's muffled voice against her shoulder was heard. 

Chaeyoung said nothing, the words stuck in her throat and she instinctively turned to look at the girls in front of her who also didn't know what was going on. 

Chaeyoung's mind went blank and her animated conversation with the girls died, unlike the awkwardness, which was growing more and more.

However, Mina seemed oblivious to the weird atmosphere she had created as she absentmindedly played with her cell phone and occasionally moved her head to find a better position.

"Hey, I need help with dinner!" Jihyo's voice snapped them out of their thoughts and all three girls stood up at the same time. 

"We got it!" The three of them shouted, not realizing that Mina had fallen against the couch at the sudden movement and the other girls were watching them curiously, except Jeongyeon who was laughing at the situation, or maybe it was the alcohol in her system.

Quickly the three girls made their way to the kitchen, Momo tripping over Dahyun's foot on the way, causing her to fall next to the girl with a sharp ‘thump’. 

"Fuck" She quickly got up and kept walking. 

None of them gave it any thought and they walked into the kitchen

"Oh!" Jihyo jumped in shock and let out a surprised expression when she saw the three girls standing in a row behind her "You almost gave me a heart attack!"

The three girls smiled apologetically "Sorry jihyo-ah, we wanted to help with dinner" Chaeng excused herself and Jihyo sent her a look of disbelief 

"Sure, well. I need you guys to go buy a couple of things, okay? Are either of you okay to drive?" Nayeon raised her hand and nodded. 

"I'll handle it, there’s no alcohol in my system, Chaeng and Momo can come with me" Jihyo agreed and handed them the shopping list.

They staggered out of the kitchen, Momo may have had too much to drink and Chaeyoung was too busy laughing to take care of the girl.

Nayeon took her keys and announced that they were leaving.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Dahyun asked

"What makes you think it's not?" Nayeon asked, followed by the sound of a thud against the floor, the girl turned to see where a sore Momo lay with Chaeyoung on top of her, as the two laughed loudly.

"That" Jeongyeon pointed and Nayeon snorted.

"Oh please, they're harmless."

"Yeah, sure" Tzuyu was helping the girls up, placing an arm around the shoulders of the two girls to keep them upright

"Oh Chou Tzu, you're so pretty" Chaeyoung said to her and Momo started laughing again

"I don't think they should go" Jeongyeon complained.

"Well I don't think they should stay either" Nayeon sighed.

Chaeyoung broke away from Tzuyu's embrace "We’re fine, Momo unnie is always falling down, and it doesn't change much if i drink alcohol or not"

"She’s right" Sana teased

"I'll just go with you guys" Tzuyu led Momo out the door without waiting for the others.

"Oh, can i go with you too?" Mina said and Nayeon and Chaeyoung stopped abruptly, the two girls stared at each other before the older one turned around

"Oh, ummm. Well, you know..."

"Yeah, we, umm-" They both stumbled over their words and Jeongyeon decided to go in to save them.

"You can't go Minari, you promised to help me with my songs, remember?"

"Oh, right" She smiled

"Ah, really?" Nayeon's tone became somber and Sana, Dahyun and Chaeyoung grunted in annoyance at the girl's jealousy

"Excellent then, let's go Nayeonnie" She grabbed her arm and dragged her out the door.

It was going to be a very long night

-

After buying the things Jihyo had asked for and spending 20 minutes looking for Momo after she got lost, they returned to the apartment with the groceries.

"We are here!" Nayeon shouted.

"Finally, it took you guys hours, I'm starving" Dahyun complained.

"It took us less than an hour" Tzuyu pointed at the clock "And you ate before you came here."

"Whatever" She got up from her place on Sana's lap and followed the girls.

"Jihyo! We're here, here are the things" A smiling Jihyo appeared and thanked them.

"Thank you girls, i’ll prepare dinner now. Tzuyu, will you help me?" The taller one nodded with a smile and the two headed to the kitchen with the groceries.

Meanwhile Momo and Chaeyoung opted to resume their original position on the couch with the others.

The afternoon went smoothly, Chaeyoung even relaxed enough to fall asleep, unfortunately she was awakened when a weight on her body made her wake up with a groan of pain, the weight had landed directly on her ribs (which were still not healing properly).

"Wake up" Nayeon told her and Chaeyoung had to bite her lip to keep from knocking the girl to the floor "It's time to eat."

"I don't want to"

"I don't care, let's eat, now" She got up leaving a chaste kiss on her cheek which Chaeyoung annoyingly wiped off. 

She tried to get up but a sharp pain made her groan from the pain and lean back against the back of the couch.

Jeongyeon quickly approached her and placed a hand on her back, concerned "Are you okay?"

Chaeyoung was still hunched over from the pain "Yes, Jeongyie. I think I slept in a weird position, I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Positive. I'll just go to the bathroom to freshen up a bit, go with the others" She assured her, Jeongyeon hesitated to leave but finally left her alone.

Chaeyoung mentally thanked her and went upstairs. She closed the bathroom door when she got there and lifted up her blouse.

Her abdomen was full of different marks that spread all over her rib cage and part of her back, the bruises varied between a mix of green and purple, showing that some were older than others and therefore, more painful.

She sighed and pulled down her blouse, frantically searching through the bathroom drawers hoping that one of the two girls had pain pills. Luckily, there were and without thinking she quickly took two.

She splashed some water on her face and looked at herself in the mirror.

"Chaeyoung!" Jihyo's voice called out to her.

"Coming!" she shouted back and walked out of the bathroom, unfortunately she didn't notice someone outside the door and bumped into a soft but strong body that sent waves of pain through her entire body 

"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"Don't worry" Mina smiled at her, Chaeyoung stood still.

"Minari...what are you doing here?"

Mina smiled even wider and tucked a strand of unruly hair behind Chaeyoung's ear "You were taking so long, I came to see that everything was okay. And, I haven't seen you much lately, I miss you."

Chaeyoung looked at her incredulously "You miss me?"

Mina laughed lightly and pulled the girl closer to her body, hugging her "Of course I do chaeng-chaeng."

"Not enough to call, it seems" Mina tensed at the words and pulled away, looking at Chaeyoung with a sad look on her face

"Sorry, I had too many things on my mind, we need to talk."

Chaeyoung dared to look into her eyes, she could see nothing but sincerity and concern, the girl's heart softened and she smiled slightly "It's okay, let's talk"

"Not here, I wish there was more privacy. I'll write you another day, are you still free on Tuesdays?"

Chaeyoung nodded and Mina mimicked the action.

"Okay" The Japanese girl spoke up and took the cub's hand "Let's go back now or Nayeon unnie is going to kill us for taking so long."

The Japanese pulled her and Chaeyoung could do nothing but follow.

When they reached the dining room, Nayeon gave her a questioning look and noticed their clasped hands.

Chaeyoung panicked and let go of Mina's hand as if the touch had burned her. She made a noise with her throat and sat down at the table, joining the conversation. The Japanese woman did the same, throwing glances at her from time to time.

"What was that?" Nayeon whispered to her.

"I have no idea" She replied.

-

As it turned out, this time Mina had decided to keep her promise. 

She wrote Chaeyoung the details for their talk and made the effort to start some small talk with her. Not as affectionate as before, but she still made not so friendly comments from time to time.

Finally the day of their talk came and Chaeyoung was stupidly nervous, more so because Mina wouldn't tell her what it was about and just said that 'it was nothing bad' but the girl didn't know what to believe anymore.

She sighed for what seemed like the thousandth time that day, it was a few minutes before the bell rang and thus she had to approach Mina to talk.

"Damn" She whispered to herself, drawing the attention of Tzuyu, who was sitting next to her in her Biology class. 

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just thought out loud."

"You can think?" Dahyun mocked her and Tzuyu swatted her not too gently on the shoulder with an irritated expression. 

"Be gentle" She warned Dahyun.

"Yeah whatever, hey, wanna go for breakfast at break? I found this cute cafeteria near here" She offered with a smile and Tzuyu happily accepted the invitation "How about you Chae? Are you coming?

Chaeyoung had been lost in thought for a moment, he had completely forgotten to tell the girls about her talk with Mina, Dahyun specifically "Uh, I can't today. I have something to do."

Dahyun narrowed her eyes, suspicious "What is that, if I may ask?"

"Stuff." 

Clearly Chaeyoung's dismissive behavior wasn't enough for Dahyun but she left the topic alone. 

Finally the bell rang and Chaeyoung practically flew out of the classroom, blurting out a quick 'see you later' to her two friends 

She headed to the back of the school, where Mina had called her.

It was a small garden with flowers and benches for the students to relax between classes or just disconnect from reality, fortunately not many people went there so they would have all the privacy they needed. 

She opted to sit on one of the benches under a tree, taking shelter from the bright sun.

After a few minutes, chaeyoung caught a glimpse of someone in the distance, and she knew very well who it was. 

Mina, who was wearing a blue flowered skirt and a top that matched the bow in her hair, she looked beautiful. 

Chaeyoung couldn't take the girl's eyes off, it was truly mesmerizing for her.

"Hi" She smiled and Chaeyoung returned the gesture genuinely.

"Hi" the little girl sighed.

Mina smiled, sweetly and her little eyes closed, Chaeyoung thought she was beautiful. "May I sit down?"

Chaeyoung could only nod and Mina settled down beside her, surprisingly she kept her distance from Chaeyoung and the little girl's heart skipped a beat in anxiety. 

"You look so cute" Mina told her, with a nervous smile that Chaeyoung couldn't decipher. 

"Mina..." A lump formed in her throat and her hands began to tremble, she placed them roughly on her lap so that the girl wouldn't notice it 

"I mean it." 

For some reason, that comment infuriated the cub a little "What did you want us to talk about?" 

Mina sighed and looked down at her hands, she fiddled with the folds of her dress and her eyes reflected uncertainty "I think I owe you an explanation for everything."

"You think?" Chaeyoung sarcastically spat and crossed her arms.

"Sorry for disappearing after what happened, it wasn't nice of me" She began "I was afraid of what I was feeling and I should have been honest with you from the beginning"

"You should have talked to me, Minari. You should have reached out" In chaeyoung's tone of voice you could hear her anger but also the pain 

"I needed time to get my feelings in order." 

"Well?" she said impatiently.

"I'm not ready for a relationship. I thought I was but after trying I know I'm not, I need to heal and I thought the best option was to step away for a while to think about what I was going to say to you when I finally got the chance." 

Chaeyoung's eyebrows furrowed in confusion and her mouth opened but no words came out of it, Mina spoke before Chaeyoung could think of something to say "I like you." 

Chaeyoung's heart skipped a beat and a shiver went down her lower back "What?" she whispered, not low enough for Mina not to hear her 

Her mind wandered to her conversation with Momo, a million questions coming to her mind without warning

"It was unfair of me not to make my feelings for you clear from the start, I thought I was being clear."

"Mina, you-" Mina held up a hand for Chaeyoung to stop talking and the girl stoped. 

"I'm not going to ask you to wait until I'm ready, because I don't know how long it takes to heal and it wouldn't be fair to ask but it was time for me to tell you something before things got ugly." 

Chaeyoung's mind went blank and there was a lump in her throat that tightened, enough to make her want to throw up. Tears were threatening to come out but Mina's expression showed her that she was just as scared as she was, so she let it go and focused on the girl in front of her 

"What about Miyeon?" her voice came out cracked and she hoped Mina wouldn't notice.

"I'm done with her, it wasn't fair to keep her with me when I don't feel the same" Part of Chaeyoung was relieved that the girl wasn't going to bring her any more trouble but then, why did she feel everything was wrong? 

She fell silent and Mina looked away, concentrating on the flowers around her. 

Why are you doing this?

Why are you telling me these things when you don't really mean it? 

"I understand" Chaeyoung also didn't dare to look at her, opting to look at her feet "Thank you for telling me, I appreciate it very much."

"But...?" Mina said, in an anxious voice. 

"I don't know, I didn't expect you to tell me this."

"Does it bother you?" her tone of voice sounded scared. 

"No! Not at all, you just took me by surprise" She raised her hands to reassure the girl "I...em...I-" She mentally cursed herself for not finding the right words 

"I'll wait for you." 

Wait, what? 

The words came out before her mind could comprehend what she had just said, her eyes widened in surprise and mentally smacked herself as she processed the words

Could you be even more stupid, Son Chaeyoung? 

"I understand your point and I appreciate you too much to lose you."

Why yes, yes you can. 

Mina visibly relaxed before the words, letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding and her mouth in case curved into a smile. 

"Will you really wait for me?" The japanese slowly reached out to take Chaeyoung's hand and begin to play with her fingers, breaking the distance for the first time 

Say no chaeyoung, say no and get out of here.

You know she's not being honest

Say no 

Her thoughts warned her, they almost screamed but she buried them in the back of her mind, she couldn't heed them when Mina was in front of her with a sweet smile and eyes so bright the stars would be jealous.

She couldn't do it when Mina was holding her hand oh so tightly and she could feel the warmth of her body. 

She couldn't when Mina just told her what she had been waiting to hear for weeks and the ache in her chest finally dissipated, though her mind didn't seem to think alike 

"I will, I'll wait for you. What's the worst that could happen?" Mina tightened her grip on Chaeyoung's hand and moved closer until she could lean her head on the girl's shoulder, she slowly intertwined their hands and the last thing Chaeyoung heard was a small 'thank you.'

Chaeyoung's heart felt a little fuller that day

Chapter Text

"Chaengie, love" Mina's voice brought her out of her thoughts "Do you want to go out this weekend?"

It had been two weeks since Mina's confession and Chaeyoung couldn't be happier that she had accepted the Japanese girl's feelings.

It had been two weeks full of love and Chaeyoung couldn't be happier together with Mina, they hadn't defined their relationship, it would go against everything they talked about but they weren't friends either and knowing that made the cub more than satisfied.

"Yeah, let's go to the new cafeteria that opened last week, I heard it's amazing" Mina nodded against her shoulder, the two of them were in the school library, hiding in a corner and huddled over a couch they found.

Hiding sounded bad but neither of them had found the courage to tell their friends about their current situation, they already suspected it, Chaeyoung knew perfectly well that she hadn't been so discreet, especially in the months that she and Mina could barely be in the same room. 

Chaeyoung was more worried about Nayeon and Momo's reaction, after what they talked about she knew that if she could get neither of them together to make a plan to disappear Mina she could consider it an accomplishment, but she wanted to enjoy a little more of if time with the girl before she did anything. 

"Sounds good to me, chaengie" She left a chaste kiss on her cheek and went back to flipping through the book in his hands absentmindedly.

Chaeyoung turned her face away, trying to hide the blush that formed, she was used to Mina kissing her, on the cheeks and forehead. But even after what happened they didn't dare to talk about the "almost kiss" they had shared on their fake date, Chaeyoung was mentally grateful for it because she didn't know if she was ready to talk about it without turning into a blushing mess that would cause her to die of embarrassment. 

Mina's kisses were her favorite though, and she would also take every opportunity she had to steal kisses here and there on her cheeks or anywhere Mina would let her. 

It was something she had learned to love, the touch, the need to always be touching Mina, her hands, her hair, her cheeks, something.

"Chaengie" Mina called out to her again, she tightened her grip on the girl's waist to let her know she was listening "What are you going to tell the girls?"

Chaeoyung closed her eyes for a moment, thoughtfully "They don't have to know anything yet, they're not going to leave us alone" She placed a tentative kiss on Mina's neck, without applying too much pressure.

"Don't you think it's time to tell them?" Her voice sounded calm, she wasn't accusing her, it was genuine doubt "We've been running from them for days, Momo won't stop calling me, I swear, that girl is going to put an APB out on my name."

Chaeyoung made an affirmative noise, burying her face in Mina's neck, breathing in her scent; strawberries 

I love it

"It's okay, we'll tell them. I can't stand seeing Sana's sad face every time I reject her attempts to go out, I miss her" She pouted which Mina adored. 

"Should I be jealous of Sana?" she joked, placing her hands on Chaeyoung's, caressing them. 

Chaeyoung stifled a giggle and quickly denied "Please no, that girl has a huge crush on Dahyunnie, it's almost disgusting." 

"Oh come on, they're so cute, they're in love. You can't blame them." 

"Fine, just tell them to not do it in front of me, I don't want to be there when they start to be cheesy and disgustingly in love”

Mina laughed, louder this time "Well, now you can return the favor and be extremely cheesy with me" She whispered to her, her breath hitting against chaeyoung's neck, causing a shiver to run up her back 

"Tell me we won't be worse than the two of them please."

"I promise nothing" She gave one last kiss on her cheek and stood up, offering Chaeyoung a hand to stand up, which she quickly took "It's time to go." 

Chaeyoung sighed dramatically and hugged Mina around the waist, the girl was taller than her (as much as Chaeyoung hated to admit it) so she could lay her head placidly on her chest, listening to her heart racing 

"Your heart is beating so fast" She smiled. 

"You make it beat like that" And Chaeyoung could die in that moment, happier than ever. 

"You're cheesy" She told her, though her cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling too much

" You like me this way, don't you?" 

"I do." 

Mina flashed her a gummy smile then took her backpack in her hands and slung it over her shoulder "Come on or you'll be late for class." 

Chaeyoung complained with a sound of annoyance "I don't like math" 

"Poor baby." 

Chaeyoung tapped her lightly on the shoulder and Mina let out a laugh, they intertwined their hands and walked out of the library 

Feeling happier than ever 

-

"We need to talk Son Chaeyoung" Nayeon's voice reached her ears and she mentally cursed herself for not running away from the room faster.

She could still do it, if she ran fast enough and didn't fall down in the attempt maybe she could run away from Nayeon another day 

"Don't even try" Nayeon's eyes narrowed and she looked at her accusingly "You're not running away from here until you tell me what happened with Mina." 

Okay Chaeyoung, play dumb.  

"Who’s Mina?" she said in a broken voice and cleared her throat nervously. 

Not that dumb

"I'm serious Chaeyoung, we're not leaving here until you tell me." 

"Agh, well" She buried her head in her hands "Where is Momo?"

"What's Momo got to do with this?" 

"Well I'm sure she's dying to know too and I'm not going to tell the story twice." 

"A very good point but you will have to settle, Momo is busy being a third wheel with Sana and Dahyun." 

"Are you sure she's being a third wheel?" 

"Even I don't know by this point" Nayeon said and Chaeyoung cackled "Cut the bullshit already, tell me, what happened?"

Chaeyoung suddenly became serious, her hands started sweating "Well, as you know, we talked..."

"About what?"

"Well" She cleared her throat again "First of all, she apologized for ignoring me. She was very nice about it and said she regrets acting that way and that she had to walk away because of, certain things." 

Nayeon looked at her not completely believing her "What things?" 

"Oh, umm, well. You know, things and yeah. Stuff."

"What things?" She pushed her, placing a hand on the table.

Chaeyoung held Nayeon's gaze and finally broke the contact with a sigh "She told me she likes me." 

"She what?!" Nayeon stood up with a look of surprise and fury, Chaeyoung wanted to run away. 

"Yeah, she said she walked away because of her feelings for me. She wanted-um, to know how to act in front of me." 

"And what did you say to her? You rejected her right? Because there's not a single way you could have accepted her after what she said to Momo." 

Chaeyoung looked down, not daring to make eye contact.

Nayeon exclaimed again "You didn't reject her?!"

"I couldn't!" 

"You couldn't or wouldn't?!"

Chaeyoung shut her mouth and Nayeon wanted to shout again "Son Chaeyoung, what did you do?!"

"I couldn't turn her down, Nay! She looked so small and her apology was so honest, I couldn't say no to her!"

"Wait, does that mean you're girlfriends now?" Nayeon asked. 

"No, um. She said she's not ready for a relationship, not for now at least and I..."

"You're going to wait for her." 

"Yeah..." She smiled nervously

Nayeon sighed and sat on the chair in front of Chaeoyung, stroked her temples and spoke "What about what Momo said?" 

Chaeyoung had tried to ignore Momo's words those two weeks she spent with Mina, though without much success because that feeling popped up in her chest every time she saw Mina, though she buried it after a while.

She was curious if the things she had said had been true, they had to be since she knew Momo would never lie to her, but what about Mina, would she? 

"What about what Momo said? Did she mention that? Did she even apologize to you for that?" 

"No but-" 

"I remind you that she made you cry, not once, not twice, but three times! That you came crying to my room after she said such bad things about you, Jeongyeon had to sleep with you!" 

"You were the one who asked her, I-"

"It doesn't make sense! First she says she barely knows you and then she's totally in love with you?! What's up with Miyeon, huh?! She's being cheating on her now?!

"What?! No, absolutely not! Mina said that she broke up with her." 

"You have to absolutely be joking right now" Nayeon told her in a teasing voice, not an innocent one, a malicious one. 

"I ain't playing Nayeon, she said she's done with her." 

Nayeon gave her an incredulous look and raised her hands in defeat "Okay, I can't take this anymore" She forcibly grabbed Chaeoyung's arm and dragged her out of the room to the cafeteria, where she let go of her arm and pointed to a far table "There's your girlfriend now"

Chaeyoung had to squint her eyes to adjust to the light and see, her heart skipped a beat as she saw Mina and Miyeon sitting next to each other, laughing at something that made Chaeyoung's blood boil 

"She said she was done with her" She couldn't take her gaze off the girls even if it hurt. 

"Clearly not" Nayeon folded her arms "Happy now?"

"Not anymore" Chaeyoung lowered her gaze and started walking for the bathroom, Nayeon felt a bit of guilt reach her chest and followed the girl closely

Entering the bathroom as well and closing the door behind her. 

"There must be another explanation" The little girl's voice was trembling, she didn't know exactly why 

"Chaeng..."

"No!"

Nayeon looked at her, guilty "Look, I don't like Mina, not after what she did but I don't want to see you this sad either, it's too chaeng. Sorry for reacting like that earlier, you're right, they're probably friends, is there any other explanation why they're together?" 

Chaeyoung looked at her "I can't think of one."

"Don't do it, talk to her. Communication is always the key or some shit like that."

She walked up to Chaeoyung and patted her shoulders "Or we can ask Momo."

Chaeyoung laughed, a little calmer than before, Nayeon was right. 

"Yeah, let's do that."

Chapter Text

Chaeyoung's mind had not left her in peace, it was nothing new to her but she was getting tired of her own thoughts. 

Mina wasn't helping her much either, she was trying but it wasn't enough for Chaeyoung.

After her little altercation with Nayeon she decided to give the girl the benefit of the doubt, she didn't want to start a relationship (or whatever they were) by making the girl think she didn't trust her.

She wanted Mina to feel comfortable sharing aspects of her life on her own time, she was sure that there was a perfectly logical explanation for what she had seen in the cafeteria and that Mina would never lie to her 

So she waited for the girl to tell her about what happened but that explanation never came, so she told herself that if Mina didn't tell her anything it was because it probably didn't matter.

Either way, they had already had their date a few days ago and that reassured Chaeyoug a little. Her logic had been that, if she went out with her it meant that she didn't want to go back to Miyeon and everything was fine between them. 

At least she thought so, until Momo came to her room in the middle of her monthly movie night with Dahyun and Sana, which confused Chaeyoung until she realized that Nayeon had told the Japanese girl everything and things made sense to her.

"She lied to you" She said and quickly raised her hand so the cub couldn't say anything "Before you go into depressive lesbian mode. It's not what you think." 

"So?" 

"She's going to break up with her, today."

"So they're not over?!" The panic in Chaeyoung's voice alerted Sana, who peeked into the girl's room. 

"What's wrong?" 

"Nothing Satang, don't worry, uh, hey can you tell Dahyunnie to prepare some popcorn?" 

Sana nodded and walked away from the room. 

"What do you mean they're not done?!" Chaeyoung whispered in panic. 

"Calm down! Don't panic, look, we know they were never an official thing, Mina always found excuses to turn down Miyeon's proposals and from what she told me Miyeon knew about you from before and she also considered it ideal to finish whatever they had, I just guess it took them longer than expected." 

"That really doesn't help at all." 

"It doesn't reassure you to know you're not her lover?"

"Don't say it like that! And no, it doesn't reassure me to know that I was lied to" She clarified "It doesn't bother me that she didn't clear things up with Miyeon, it's something I was never going to understand and it wasn't my place but if there's one thing I can't stand it's being lied to and Mina did it" 

Momo looked at her and nodded "So what are you going to do now?"

"Talk to her" Momo looked at her confused for a moment. 

"That's-in fact, very mature of you." 

Chaeyoung rolled her eyes and plopped down on the bed "Mina is important, I don't want to mess things up so soon." 

Momo smiled slightly "You like her that much, huh?"

"I do"

-

"Minari" Both of them were in Mina's bed, her room was the closest to the campus so they chose to spend their time there, adding that Mina didn't have a roommate and they could be together without anyone seeing them. 

Mina made a sound, making the girl understand that she was listening and squeezed the arm that was around Chaeyoung's waist so the Korean continued "I saw something the other day that confused me a bit and I wanted to ask you about it." 

"Okay, love. Tell me."

Mina's calm voice soothed her a little, then she continued "A few days ago I went to the cafeteria with Nayeon unnie and..."

Her voice trailed off nervously, Mina noticed it quickly and raised her body, leaning back on her elbow to be partially on top of Chaeyoung's body.

She saw the uncertainty in Chaeyoung's eyes and placed a light kiss on the corner of her lips, supporting her to speak "Tell me." 

"I saw you with Miyeon, you seemed very close and I was just wondering what was going on" She avoided Mina's face, preferring to look at the ceiling. 

Mina didn't say anything for a moment and Chaeyoung took it as a bad sign 

Fuck  

She tried to get up from the bed but Mina's weight on her chest prevented her "Wait" She said delicately. 

Chaeyoung stopped struggling to get loose and stood still, finally looking into Mina's eyes "Miyeon came up to me, she wanted to talk about us"

"About you two?."

Mina nodded skeptically "Yes."

"There's still a 'you two'?" 

Mina raised herself up on the bed quickly until she was sitting up, denying deeply "No!"

Chaeyoung jumped at the tone of voice, Mina noticed "I'm sorry, no. She told me that she had felt that our situation had long since stopped working and that she wanted to remain friends if I wanted it that way"  

"What did you tell her?" 

Mina gently stroked Chaeyoung's hair, looking between her eyes with a smile "I told her that my girlfriend wouldn't be too happy about it" She threw her a teasing smile and had a twinkle in her eye, amused. 

Chaeyoung stood still, her mouth half open and her eyes glazed over. A smile formed on her lips and she pulled Mina's face close to hers to leave a delicate kiss on her forehead, followed a path of small delicate pecks down her cheek, her eyelids too, and couldn't resist kissing the mole on the side of Mina's nose, for which the Japanese let out a breathless laugh.

Finally, she left a kiss at the corner of her lips and pulled away, grinning from ear to ear "Your girlfriend, eh?" She asked playfully and Mina looked down blushing, burying her face in the cub's chest. 

"Does it bother you when I call you that?" she mumbled from her chest. 

Chaeyoung took a little time before answering "No, it doesn't bother me."

"I know that, I haven't asked you anything officially, but I really enjoy my time with you."

"I do too"

"Are you better now?" Mina asked and Chaeyoung sent her a confused look " About Miyeon." 

Chaeyoung sighed "Yes, thank you for telling me. I would have appreciated it if you did it sooner." 

Chaeyoung decided to ignore the fact that Mina had lied to her. If she had already told her the truth now, there was no point in bringing that matter up 

"I didn't want to make you think too much, you can always talk to me when you doubt something."

Chaeyoung said nothing anymore, opting to pull mina to her chest again for a quick nap. 

Mina tightened her grip around her and Chaeyoung's chest filled with butterflies.

-

"Chaeyoung" Mina called out to her and intertwined her fingers with hers. 

"Yes?" The girl replied, without looking at her

"Breathe"

Chaeyoung finally turned her gaze to her, with a face of concentration "I'm fine"

Mina reached over and grabbed her by the shoulders "You're so tense."

”I’m just nervous”

”Baby, they’re the same people you’d know for years. They’re our friends”

They were outside Jihyo and Nayeon's apartment, they had been standing there for more than 10 minutes, finally Mina got fed up with it and decided to talk 

"It's just that I'm afraid of how they might react."

Chaeyoung couldn't move, her hand was stiff between Mina's.

"You told me that Nayeon and Momo already know."

"Yes because Nayeon is a tattletale and Momo loves to listen to her."

Mina rolled her eyes at that but continued " Therefore, Dahyun must know."

"Yeah, she helped me with...all of this."

Chaeyoung looked down sheepishly and Mina smiled, pulling her hand tightly, which pulled the little girl's body to hers.

The Japanese woman placed her hands around Chaeyoung's neck and pulled her closer to her, until their breaths combined. 

"Everything is gonna be fine, okay?" Chaeyoung nodded "They're still our best friends, what's the worst that can happen?

The memory of Nayeon and Jeongyeon planning Mina's murder came to her mind and a look of terror appeared on her face "We have to get out of here!"

Mina looked at her with confusion "What? No, come on. Stop playing around!"

Chaeyoung grunted with annoyance and nodded, Mina grabbed her hand again and started pulling her towards the door, the girl showed no more resistance. 

Once on the right floor, Mina knocked on the door eagerly and Nayeon's face appeared with a smile that was soon wiped off. 

Mina didn't give up and smiled "We're here".

"I can see" She opened the door wider to let them pass and motioned with her head for them to do so. 

Mina passed through first, Chaeyoung followed closely behind her and went in, but not before whispering a "Be gentle" to Nayeon

"Jihyo, they're here!" Nayeon shouted and Jihyo came out appearing from the stairs. 

"Oh, Chaengie, my baby. I missed you too much" Jihyo wrapped her in a crushing hug that left Chaeyoung breathless, literally.

Then she pulled away and tapped her forehead with two fingers, her expression angry.

"Ouch! What was that for?" Chaeyoung rubbed her forehead and Mina approached her worriedly.

"For disappearing after you promised not to!" 

"Oh come on, I didn't disappear!"

"Tzuyu was about to put up a missing persons report" Jeongyeon appeared, surprising Chaeyoung.

"Don't exaggerate unnie" She laughed a little but still went over to give Jeongyeon a hug. ”Mhm, where are the others?" 

"Sana and Dahyun arrive at 8 and Momo and Tzuyu went to get dinner" Jihyo explained "What about you guys? Did you arrive together?"

Chaeyoung cleared her throat and Mina held her hand "Yes, Chae brought us in her car."

"Excellent" Jihyo smiled, sitting down on the couch "I'm glad you two are done fighting" Chaeyoung glanced at her with a frown but Mina talked first 

"Oh, about that Jihyo-ah, we wanted-"

A loud bang made Mina stop abruptly and soon Momo's voice reached her ears "We're back fuckers!" she shouted with the bags of food still in her hands, a very tired Tzuyu was following behind her 

"Momo!" Jihyo scolded her and Momo's expression changed to one of fear "What have I told you about yelling like that?"

"That you shouldn't do it in front of the kids" Momo said lowly.

"Exactly!" Jihyo took the groceries from Momo's hands and headed to the dining room to put the bags in. 

"Meanie" She whispered 

"I heard that!" Jihyo shouted back and Momo quickly moved behind Mina.

"Jihyo is mean" She said with a pout and hugged the girl from behind, Mina smiled and placed her hands on top of Momo's hands 

"She just wants to take care of the kids" She said with a mocking tone, looking between Tzuyu and Chaeyoung 

"Oh, please. Tzuyu is taller than everyone here" Chaeyoung complained.

"Doesn't change the fact that you're still babies" Nayeon dramatically said, suddenly squeezing Tzuyu's cheeks, who turned away in an instant 

"Maybe you're just old" Tzuyu spoke and walked to Chaeyoung's side, hugging her. 

"You're not funny" Nayeon said and snuggled into Jeongyeon’s 

Dinner after that was peaceful and fun, Chaeyoung could feel herself relaxing as the hours passed and the alcohol worked its wonders on her system.

As they had agreed that they could sleep in the apartment and she wasn't going to drive, Chaeyoung had let herself go with a couple of drinks and soon found herself hugging Mina, placing a couple of kisses on her cheeks or chin from time to time, when she thought nobody was watching them, to which Mina laughed in amusement at the girl's actions. 

Chaeyoung wasn't drunk, at least not for now, but she was feeling dizzy and the little wine that actually got into her system took away the embarrassment of being affectionate with Mina.

"I told you, they're disgusting" Nayeon said not so lowly to Jeongyeon, who was watching them amused. Chaeyoung decided to ignore the comment and focus on the girl in her arms. 

They were all scattered around the living room, some on the floor, some on the couch. Dahyun and Sana had joined them a couple of hours ago and after dinner they decided to play mafia. 

Chaeyoung, unfortunately was the mafia, she gave a hateful look to Jeongyeon who just smiled. 

"The city is asleep, Mafia, you can open your eyes." 

Chaeyoung did so and immediately made eye contact with Dahyun who smiled mischievously at her, Chaeyoung choked back a laugh and looked around. 

Dahyun motioned with her head towards Momo and Chaeyoung nodded. 

Jeongyeon shook her head and a smile was on her lips "The city woke up". 

They all opened their eyes and looked at each other "Momo, you're dead" 

Momo opened her eyes like plates and turned to look at the others "What?!"

Chaeyoung had to hold in her laughter "I think it was Jihyo, she looks very serious" Said the little girl. 

"Hey! I didn't do it, you're clearly trying to frame me" Jihyo complained.

"No, I think it was Sana. She looks really cute but it's really a facade" Dahyun said and Sana slapped her on the shoulder. 

" Guys, guys, please. We're ignoring the real culprit, it was clearly Mina" Nayeon spoke and they all nodded. 

"What?! Why me?!"

"You've been the mafia for the last 2 rounds" Nayeon said.

"It's not my fault that Jeongyeon picked me twice in a row!" 

"You sound guilty to me" Jihyo told her.  

"I didn't do it!" 

"Who's in favor of picking Mina out?" Nayeon spoke up and they all raised their hands, including Chaeyoung. 

"Sorry Mina" Jeongyeon scoffed "However, the mafia is still alive."

"I told you so" She whispered 

"The city is asleep"

 Chaeyoung opened her eyes and squeezed Mina's waist, who looked at her with annoyance, Chaeyoung laughed and kissed her cheek.

Dahyun caught her attention and pointed at Nayeon, Chaeyoung nodded again.

"Okay, the city is awake and Nayeon? You're dead"

"What?!"

The girls started laughing and Chaeyoung took a moment to look at the girls around her.

She could get used to this

-

A few hours later, while Mina was in the bathroom, Jihyoyo approached her in the kitchen when she decided to get a glass of water, they were all in the same position, only Momo and Dahyun had succumbed to sleep. 

" You make a cute couple" Jihyo told her and Chaeyoung looked at her in surprise "What? You really thought Nayeon wasn't going to say anything?"

"That little... Who else knows?"

Jihyo laughed and pulled her into a hug "What do you think?" 

"I'm going to kill her." 

Jihyo pulled away from her, though she placed her hands on Chaeyoung's shoulders " She was just excited, and it’s not like you guys were that discreet” She laughed before continuing “although…that's not the only thing she told me" 

She quickly understood what she meant and whispered "Jihyo unnie..."

"I won't judge you, I know how hard it can be."

"I'm very happy with her" Chaeyoung told her sincerely "I was scared but I trust her Jihyo, with my life."

Jihyo softened and smiled at her from ear to ear "That's the only thing I needed to hear then"

"Thank you." 

"I'll still give her the talk" Jihyo let her go and walked out of the kitchen.

"Please don't" 

Jihyo let out a laugh and sat down next to Nayeon, who looked at her in surprise "What's wrong?"

"Jihyo will give the talk to Mina unnie" Chaeyoung said in a nervous voice. 

"Oh, by all means, do it" Jeongyeon told her.

"Jeongyeon unnie!" Chaeyoung complained "You're supposed to be on my side!"

"Mmm, I'll think about it"

At the same time, Mina showed up again and looked at Jihyo staring at her, with a gleam she had never seen in her eyes before. 

"You, come here" She pointed at her and Mina could do nothing but gulp and move closer "We need to talk."

Chaeyoung threw her an apologetic look and sighed. 

Yep, I could get used to this

Chapter Text

Two months had passed since the girls found out about her and Mina and all Chaeyoung could say about those two months was happiness.

They were halfway through March, her classes were going well, she was spending her free time with Mina or Tzuyu, she could now treat herself to the weekly meetings that Jihyo organized and her ribs had healed without incident. 

Life was fine, until Mina started acting weird. 

"Love" Chaeyoung called out to her. 

"Yes, chaeng?" Mina didn't turn to look at her, too busy looking at her cell phone. 

"Do you want to hang out more later, we could go to the new mall, didn't you want a new book?" 

Mina finally turned to look at her, smiled warmly and approached her "I can't today chaeng, sorry. I'll go out with Lisa later." 

Chaeng nodded "Oh, I understand. Say hi to her for me, ok?" 

Lisa was Mina's best friend, they were always together and Chaeyoung liked her very much, eventually they even became close.

Lisa was funny, quirky and made Mina happy, Chaeyoung didn't need more than that to accept her but lately there was something that Chaeyoung was a bit bothered by, it was the touching. 

Mina was a very physical person naturally, Chaeyoung didn't mind as long as it stayed on a platonic level, she even stopped kissing Tzuyu's cheeks or holding her hands when Mina asked her to and she gladly accepted because she wanted the girl to feel completely safe and both Tzuyu (and Sana) started to take more physical distance from Chaeyoung. 

That's why it felt a little weird when Mina would say 'oh, she's my crush" about Lisa or a casual 'Oh yeah, she's the love of my life'. 

She knew she meant it as a joke, at least that's what Chaeyoung wanted to think, but she doubted a little too much when Mina's face blushed every time Lisa got so close to her that it looked like they would kiss or every time they intertwined their hands and people who didn't know Chaeyoung constantly came up to them to ask if Lisa and Mina were girlfriends.

To say that Chaeyoung felt bad was exaggerating, Mina's actions hurt her a little but Lisa had never given any indication of wanting to do more with Mina, she was even in love with someone else, Jennie. 

But it didn't end up calming Chaeyoung down at all.

She tried to hold on, knowing that she had no right to say anything to Mina about her best friend, especially when Lisa became such a special person in Chaeyoung's own life.

And soon the image of the two of them together didn't seem so bad to her, there was still a dry ache in her chest every time Mina seemed to prefer Lisa over her, but she understood that her own insecurities couldn't affect her relationship with Mina, not when they were going so well and that maybe, her friendship with Lisa wasn't different from Chaeyoung's own friendship with Nayeon.

Yes, that must be it. 

"Chaeng, baby" Mina called her, a few days after her plans with Lisa. 

"What's up?" She said with a smile 

"Do you want to go out tomorrow? I want to take you out for dinner" She could hear Mina's smile from the other side of the phone. 

"Of course I do Minari, you know that. What time do you think?"

"I'm free at 8 o'clock."

"Great, I'll pick you up then, I can't wait to see you."

Mina laughed delicately "We saw each other two days ago" 

"But I miss you every day" Chaeyoung pouted from the other end of the line, almost as if Mina could see it 

"Okay, dork. I miss you too, see you tomorrow"

And Mina hung up, leaving Chaeyoung with a goofy smile on her lips and lots of butterflies in her stomach. 

-

"You look beautiful Minari." 

She said to Mina as she got into the car, Mina threw her a smile and stretched on her seat to give Chaeyoung a kiss on the cheek. 

"You don't look so bad yourself, eh?" She said and Chaeyoung smiled 

"You're silly" she laughed "Okay, ready to go?"

"Yes, I'll guide you"

"Excellent"

The drive to the restaurant was quiet, Mina loved to talk and Chaeyoung loved to listen to her, even if Mina talked about meaningless topics most of the time, Chaeyoung tried to listen to her every word, adding comments from time to time and letting out a couple of laughs. 

Nayeon said it was boring but Sana had said that it complemented them in a way and Chaeyoung liked to think so. 

"We're here" Mina reported and Chaeyoung looked for a spot in the parking lot.

When they got out of the car Chaeyoung was surprised, the restaurant was not at all what she expected, it was an elegant place, which made her nervous. She wasn't used to being in places like this, not at all. 

Mina took her hand smiling and guided her to the door, they entered the place and Chae was even more self-conscious but she didn't want to show it to Mina, not when the girl was so excited. 

They took a seat at their table, and Mina immediately started telling her about her day. 

"Lisa and I are planning to go to a ceramics class next week." 

"Really?"

"Yep" She said, accentuating the 'p' at the end of the word "She said she's really excited to go."

Chaeyoung smiled genuinely "That makes me very glad Minari."

"Yeah, she also found this kind of vegan cafeteria she wants to go to, we'll go tomorrow to try it out, she says it's amazing" She added and the little girl smiled even more

"Oh, Chou Tzu and I also planned something next week, there's a new cat cafe that opened nearby here, and since she loves animals I said, why not?" Chaeyoung said very happily, and continued "She hasn't stopped talking about it since I invited her."

"You invited her?" Mina asked confused " Why?" 

Chaeyoung's smile hesitated a bit but stayed there "Well, last time she invited me and it's a friendly plan that I knew she would love"

"That's nice" Immediately after that, Mina changed the topic, which confused Chaeyoung a little but she didn't say anything and they continued with dinner.

After much thought and the waitress reading the menu to Mina more than four times, they ordered their food, which arrived almost 20 minutes later.

Mina smiled kindly at the waitress and thanked her for her meal briefly and then continued their animated conversation on a topic Chaeyoung couldn't remember.

"Hey, are you okay?" Mina caught her attention. 

"Yeah, why?"

"You seemed distracted for a moment, I think I'm boring you."

"Don't be silly, you could never bore me" Mina smiled at that and reached out her hand to take Chaeyoung's hand on the table

"Don't you think I talk too much? I understand if I overwhelm you, I can stop if you want" She offered kindly and Chaeyoung's heart ached a little, she started to deny avidly 

"Did someone tell you to stop?"

Mina sighed and blew the hair that fell over her face as she leaned back in the chair again "My dad more than anything, when I was little he always yelled at me because he said I never stopped talking" She shrugged with an expression that Chaeyoung didn't quite read "I guess it stuck with me and now I'm afraid it'll happen again."

Chaeyoung frowned and denied again, reaching over to take Mina's hand that she had let go earlier and ran her thumb over the girl's knuckles, caressing her soft hand "I love hearing your voice" She paused and continued "I really like you talking because I hardly ever do, I like you telling me about your day even if it's the smallest detail in the world because I don't think I could ever get tired of your voice." 

Mina looked at her with a slight blush on her cheeks and her eyes showed a sparkle that she had never seen before, the butterflies in Chaeyoung's chest fluttered as she realized that they were shining for her 

Mina broke into a smile from ear to ear and lowered her gaze, she squeezed Chaeyoung's hand and said "You're perfect for me." 

The girl felt like she would pass away from how fast her heart was beating "You're cheesy."

"Oh, come on! You can't call me that when you just told me the most romantic thing in the world"

"It wasn't romantic"

"Sure it was! I thought I'd even start crying" Mina smiled teasingly at her and Chaeyoung tapped her lightly on the shoulder 

"Stop it, doofus" She feigned annoyance but the smirk on her face gave her away. 

"Do you really want me to stop?"

Chaeyoung looked at her "No, never."

-

Dinner was pleasant after that, Mina kept talking more animatedly than before and Chaeyoung kept looking at her in awe as she ate from time to time. 

Finally, the bill arrived and Mina graciously took care of paying the bill, for which Chaeyoung was deeply grateful. 

A couple of minutes later they walked hand in hand out of the restaurant, laughing.

"Hey, do you want to go home already?" Mina asked her.

"Well, it's late. Do you want to go back?" 

"There's a beautiful park near here, come with me?" Mina didn't wait for an answer and just started pulling the girl's hand, Chaeyoung didn't complain and just followed her. 

They reached the park, Mina guided them slowly until they reached a bench in front of a small pond of water where the stars were reflected. 

The warm night air enveloped them like a comforting embrace but that didn't stop Mina from moving closer to Chaeyoung, until her head was resting against her shoulder and her hands were clasped in Mina's lap.

It was beautiful and Chaeyoung found herself casting glances out of the corner of her eye at the Japanese woman near her.

"It's a lovely night." 

Chaeyoung smiled for what seemed like the thousandth time "Not as much as you." 

Mina let out a choked laugh and lifted her face, finally seeing the face of the girl in front of her "Jesus, what did they feed you there?, you're so cheesy."

Chaeyoung shook her head "I can't say nice things to my cute date?" 

"You're such a dork" Mina stood up and walked closer to the pond, following the path of stones until she stopped on one side, where the moonlight was shining directly at Mina

Chaeyoung held her breath as she saw the image in front of her, Mina looked extremely beautiful.

Mina turned to look at her and waved her hand, calling her to her side. Chaeyoung promptly stood up and with slow steps landed next to Mina.

"I really like it here," Mina said. "When I came from Japan I didn't know much of the language so I didn't have many friends. One day after school on my way home I got lost and came here. After that, I basically preferred to spend my time alone here." 

Chaeyoung looked at her expectantly, "It's a beautiful place." 

Mina nodded and looked at her "Then I met Momo and she's amazing. She's from Japan too, so she understood how I felt" She turned to look at the pond again and continued "then Sana came and together we created a little support group that I didn't know I needed...They are special, they are my best friends and I wouldn't trade them for anything, but I never brought them here" 

Mina slid her hand down to intertwine her fingers between Chaeyoung's "This became a safe place for me and- I really wanted to show you today" She guided her intertwined hand to her lips and left a chaste kiss on Chaeyoung's knuckles. "I really like to joke that you're corny when in reality I love every single thing you say to me" She chuckled  “And I can't tell you how many times I've lain awake thinking about you."

Her eyes were shining brighter than ever, and even though Chaeyoung was nervous, she couldn't take her eyes off Mina, not when she looked so perfect in front of her 

She slowly raised her hands up to cup Mina's cheeks between them and slowly moved closer until their foreheads met.

They both closed their eyes, Chaeyoung could feel Mina's breath against her lips and her heart was pounding so hard that the little girl was afraid Mina would hear it. 

"Chaeng" Mina called out to her "I may not be ready for now, but I really want you to be my girlfriend someday." 

And with that, she leaned in to take Chaeyoung's lips between her own, softly, almost shyly.

It was a slow kiss, both taking their time with their movements, exploring the other's mouth without haste. 

Chaeyoung let out a sigh she didn't know she was holding back and could feel Mina's smile against her mouth, an infectious smile that made it hard to continue the kiss. 

Mina was the first to pull away, not without leaving a small peck on Chaeyoung's lips and placing her forehead against the little girl's, her smile was so big that it showed her gums, Chaeyoung thought it was adorable

"That was my first kiss, you know?" Mina told her and Chaeyoung pulled away quickly, with a look of surprise. The Japanese girl giggled and gave Chaeyoung another peck before pulling away from her completely and starting to walk away

The cub just stood there plastically, her eyes wide and a tingling sensation on her lips

"Hey, wait!"

Chapter Text

“Why do you look so happy?” Was the first thing that Nayeon had asked her the morning after her date with Mina 

Chaeyoung just shrugged and kept talking with Tzuyu, ignoring the older girl 

Nayeon squinted her eyes at the girl “Yah! Don’t ignore me” 

“We’re not ignoring you” 

“You totally are!”

”Go whine with your girlfriend then!” Chaeyoung said 

“First of all, she’s not my girlfriend, and secondly, she’s not even in the city” She’d pouted and hugged Tzuyu left arm “I need attention, give me” 

“Go with Jihyo unnie then” Tzuyu said with annoyance “We’re working on something” 

”But i’m bored” She whined again “Let’s go out” 

“Fine, where do you want to g-“ Chaeyoung suddenly stopped talking and from one moment to the next she was across the room, with a silly smile on her lips "Minari, you came." 

The said girl hugged her, with a smile on her face and left a delicate kiss on her forehead "Of course I came, I like spending time with you." 

" Gross" Nayeon mumbled and Tzuyu gave her an angry look to shut her up 

Chaeyoung just smiled more and rolled her eyes, "Ignore her." 

"Yeah, right. Ignore me more, Son Chaeyoung" Nayeon complained and Chaeyoung let go of Mina to turn to her friend with a pout, she hugged her tightly and gave her a delicate kiss on her hair 

"Aww, nayeonnie is sad because her girlfriend ditched her?" she asked with a pout and her best cute voice, Nayeon growled in frustration and pulled away with flushed cheeks. Chaeyoung laughed and went back into Mina's arms, which wrapped around her possessively.

"She's not my girlfriend!"

"But you're in love with her!" 

"Is it the day to bully Nayeon or why do I get so much hate?" she folded her arms "Besides you can't say anything because your girlfriend is here" She pointed at Mina and the cub opened her mouth to clarify (for what seemed like the thousandth time) that she and Mina were not girlfriends but the girl went ahead to speak up 

"Who are you talking about?" the Japanese girl asked. 

"Jeongyeon unnie" Tzuyu and Chaeyoung exclaimed at the same time and Nayeon buried her face in her hands, from embarrassment, Mina's mouth fell open in surprise

"So are you guys dating?"

"No!" Nayeon said "Mm, I'm working on it." 

"Yeah, by being a coward" Tzuyu said. 

"Hey, I'm really trying. It's not my fault that Jeongyeon is a dense and doesn't notice what I do." 

"So where is she now?" Mina asked curiously.

"Oh, she had a stupid baseball tournament."

"She's part of the team?"

"She's the captain of the team" Chaeyoung clarified "And she's amazing, the best player I know, you should see her playing"

"You're just saying that because you have a weird kind of crush on her" Nayeon said.

"It was just once, 3 years ago! You have to let it go!" Chaeyoung blushed 

"Never" She scoffed and turned to Tzuyu "Well, in seeing that Chaeyoung is going to decide to ditch us for Mina, again. It's just you and me" She smiled flirtatiously at her. 

"No, thanks" Tzuyu said seriously and Chaeyoung burst out laughing. 

"Hey, I won't leave you two today. Minari and I will go for lunch, you can join us, right?" The Japanese nodded with a slight smile. 

"Fine, but if you guys start kissing I'm out" Nayeon expressed and grabbed her bag "What are you waiting for? Let's go. Chae, you drive" 

The little girl just rolled her eyes and nodded. 

-

They left the building and started walking towards the parking lot, Nayeon and Tzuyu were walking in front of Mina and Chaeyoung, laughing softly at some joke the Korean decided to tell.

Chaeyoung smiled, even if it didn't seem like it those two got along very well, Nayeon was very attentive to everyone, contrary to popular belief and Tzuyu despite being very pretty was shy and quiet, together they made an amazing pair 

"Why are you smiling?" Mina tightened her grip on her hand, not enough to hurt, just to get her attention. 

"Because of them, they're so cute" She turned her gaze to the girls again "I'm so lucky to have them in my life" 

Mina nodded with a slight smile, she had a twinkle in her eyes that Chaeyoung had never seen, she thought it was weird but she didn't say anything, she smiled back and kept walking 

When they arrived at the car, Nayeon was the first to get into the back seat, followed by Tzuyu, Chaeyoung opened the passenger door for Mina and she gladly got into the vehicle, the little girl could hear a sarcastic comment from Nayeon from outside the car but she decided to ignore it and continued. 

"Okay" She said closing the car door "Seat belts, please." 

Three clicks were heard and Chaeyoung started the car "Perfect, chewy? Lead the way?" She asked her and the girl smiled from the back seat, the cub smiled back and focused her gaze in front, to start to get out. 

She didn't notice Mina's gaze on her, until she felt a hand on her leg, taking it in an almost possessive way, Chaeyoung looked at her with astonishment but didn't mind so she continued, sketching a calm smile.

The girls struck up a conversation, even Mina joined in and Chaeyoung would blurt out some comment from time to time, preferring to concentrate on the road in front of her. 

They arrived almost 20 minutes later without any incident, Chaeyoung parked in a good spot and turned off the car " Alright, we're here." 

"Excellent, I'm starving. Let's go Tzuyu" She pulled the girl's arm and they got out of the car. 

"We'll be there in a moment" Mina told them from the window with a smile and Nayeon nodded 

"What's wrong? Are you feeling sick?" Chaeyoung asked her with concern, she turned her body slightly so she could face Mina, the Japanese girl shook her head and that worried Chaeyoung more "What's wrong Minari?"

"I don't like the way Tzuyu looks at you, it's weird." 

Chaeyoung was dumbfounded, not knowing what to say "What do you mean?"

Mina finally removed her hand from Chaeyoung's leg and crossed her arms "She looks at you like you're made of gold or something, it seems like she's in love with you."

"Minari, Chou Tzu and I are friends, just that. And I can assure you that neither of us would try anything more than that, ever" She started "She's a very shy person, with the language and stuff, you know? And I can understand her to a certain point, that's why we're so close but there's nothing else going on, I promise"

Mina looked at her doubtfully and nodded "I trust you, just be careful," she said quickly getting out of the car. Chaeyoung sat still, uncertain if her answer had made the girl angry, but with nothing else to do, she got out of the car and ran slightly to catch up with the girl 

They entered the place quietly and Chaeyoung saw the girls already seated at a table, she started walking towards them with Mina following behind her.

They sat down and Mina placed a hand around her shoulders, Chaeyoung accepted the warm touch, leaning over the girl delicately.

Nayeon started talking about the menu and Chaeyoung only managed to nod when Tzuyu asked if she was going to order the same as always, her mind was focused on the conversation with Mina.

She had never given Mina any reason to distrust her, even if they had been 'together' for a relatively short time, let alone with Tzuyu, her best friend.

It hadn't crossed her mind that Mina might feel this way. 

A hand on her shoulder made her jump a little "Hey, everything okay?" Nayeon asked her and Chaeyoung hesitated to answer 

"Yes Nayeonnie, don't worry, have you ordered yet?" 

"Yeah, Tzuyu ordered for you" She gave a side laugh to the Taiwanese and nodded. 

"Mina unnie, what did you order?" Tzuyu asked her in a delicate way, she was trying to make conversation and Chaeyoung appreciated it too much. 

"Oh, about that. Lisa wrote to me, she said she needs help with something now, I'll go get her" She explained with an apologetic smile."I promise I'll make it up to you, okay?" She turned to look at Chaeyoung and caressed her cheek. "I really need to go" she got up from the chair and grabbed her bag. 

Chaeyoung nodded and made an attempt to get up too but Mina shook her head and Chaeyoung stopped her movements and sat still "Do you need a ride? is Lisa okay?" 

"I'll call a cab, don't worry. Lisa is fine, I'll tell you later" She left a quick kiss on Chaeyoung's lips and turned around "I'll call you after" and without saying anything else, she left the place in a hurry.

Leaving the three girls confused 

"It really has to be an emergency if I drop everything to go for her this fast" Nayeon said.

Chaeyoung felt a knot in her stomach but forced a smile "Yeah, maybe." 

-

The next day, the first thing Chaeyoung did was to look for Lisa, despite what happened she knew that Lisa was not to blame for anything and they were friends, she also cared about her. 

Chaeyoung couldn't explain it but there was something in Lisa that called her attention, not in a romantic way, there was just something in her person that didn't seem to make her calm but not in a bad way.

It was as if she wanted to impress her, as if there was something telling her that Lisa had to be with her, she couldn't decipher exactly what it was but it didn't bother her.

That's why the next day, the first thing she did was to go to the cafeteria, where she knew Lisa would be and she found her. With a smile on her face she approached her and the moment Lisa saw her, a smile adorned her face too.

"Nice to see you Son" she said with emotion and made a space for her to sit next to him "What brings you here?"

"What? I can't come sit with you just because I want to?" 

"No, because you've decided to spend your time with Tzuyu now and you've changed me" Her tone was sarcastic, you could tell she was clearly playing with her and yet Chaeyoung felt guilt. 

"I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you."

"You better Son" She gave him a gentle punch on the arm and moved closer to her "What are you doing?"

"I came to check on you, Mina said you had an emergency the other day, everything okay?"

"Ah yes, don't worry about it, it's nothing serious" She said with disdain. 

Chaeyoung hesitated a bit but let it go "Perfect then". 

They kept talking about meaningless topics, Chaeyoung liked being with Lisa, she was so straightforward and always found something to make her laugh. She was a very complex person and that caused a lot of curiosity in Chaeyoung, even though they had known each other for a relatively short time and had become close a couple of weeks ago, Chaeyoung felt the need to tell her everything even if Lisa hardly shared anything with her.

She couldn't blame her, she knew that if Lisa had any problem, Mina would be the first person she would go to, not her. 

It didn't bother her at all, she would do the same with Nayeon, but she didn't understand why she felt that slight dry hit of discomfort in her chest every time Lisa spent her time with someone that wasn't her, it confused her.

She knew that he didn't have any kind of romantic feelings for her, but then, why was she still feeling?

-

They had fought, Lisa and Mina. 

Chaeyoung didn't know much since Mina had preferred not to tell her "I know that you and Lisa are friends, so I don't want to tell you anything that would put you in the middle of us, I would hate to put you in that position" the girl had said, and Chaeyoung understood, as much as she hated it she knew she was right, so she didn't try to get more information out of her.

Chaeyoung was fine like that for a few days, until Lisa approached her, more angry than ever and pulled Chaeyoung to an empty room that was reserved for marching band practice. 

Chaeyoung was frightened of a very angry Lisa, pacing around the room and clenching her fists so hard they turned white. 

"I hate her!" was the first coherent sentence Lisa had been able to say, Chaeyoung had no choice but to stay quiet and listen to her "She's a bitch, I honestly don't know how I could have been friends with her for so long! Ugh, I should have known better."

"What happened?"

"Don't tell me your little girlfriend didn't tell you?" she asked sarcastically, one that made Chaeyoung jump a bit. 

"She just mentioned that you started ignoring her from one day to the next and suddenly you weren't talking at all and apparently you were fighting."

Lisa rolled her eyes exaggeratedly and caressed her temples "She really didn't tell you anything about what she did?"

"Did she do anything?" she asked with curiosity 

"You know Miyeon, right?"

Chaeyoung nodded and rolled her eyes a little, she didn't like where everything was going, Lisa continued "Before we met you, I told Mina that I liked Miyeon" She paused "Mina said she would talk to her to introduce us, because apparently they were "friends" thanks to a stupid student club"

"TDOONG!"

"I don't care what her name is" Lisa spat rudely and continued "The point is, I thanked her a lot but all of a sudden, she sent a message to a group we have saying that she and Miyeon would go on a date"

Chaeyoung was dumbfounded at this information, it never crossed her mind to ask how she met Miyeon "She stole Miyeon from you?"

"That's not the point! Miyeon was never mine to begin with, I liked her, yes. But we were never a thing, what made me too mad is that she didn't even apologize for what she did!" 

Chaeyoung nodded doubtfully "Then why did you fight?"

"I was really mad that she let Miyeon go so easily, no offense but, she dumped her for you!"

"Thank you?" She said sarcastically

"I'm not saying that because you're a bad catch, I'd kiss you if I could, it just hurt that she didn't apologize to me for dating the girl I liked and goofing around with her for a couple of weeks."

Chaeyoung understood the girl's point, she had reason to be angry and she couldn't say that her anger wasn't valid because she didn't want to make her think that she was on Mina's side.

She was a little worried though, if a moment came when she had to choose between Mina and Lisa, she would choose Mina without hesitation, right? 

"Everything was fine until I don't know what happened, I just exploded after keeping to myself how I felt all this time. I started ignoring her and when she asked me if everything was fine between us I couldn't take it anymore" 

"I understand."

"I don't feel guilty for the things I said to her, she deserves it."

"What do you plan to do now?"

"I want her to apologize to me."

"So you want to make things right?"

"I don't know if I want to fix things, it's not the first time she's done something like that to me or worse, I just need her to apologize, or at least I need to be able to insult her to her face so I can calm down"

"That's not going to happen"

"We'll see" With nothing more to say to her, she turned away and left Chaeyoung, the little girl was left with a confused look on her face and sighed in exhaustion 

She didn't want to meddle with anyone's business, less if it's between her friend and the girl she's dating but she can't help but think that she's in the middle of it all.

The feeling of guilt is growing more and more but she doesn't know what to do with it, at least not for now. 

-

The weeks after her conversation with Lisa are difficult, due to Lisa's lack of presence in Mina's life, Mina chooses to spend her time with her other friends (of which Chaeyoung ignored their existence until Mina started to mention them) Bambam and Jackson were guys that Mina had met the previous semester and apparently they had become close with time but because of Lisa, Mina didn't spend much time with them outside of class, which apparently had changed since their fight.

Lisa on the other hand, had chosen to spend her time with Chaeyoung, it wasn't something that bothered her, they spent time together laughing or watching silly movies that Lisa found on the internet, Chaeyoung really enjoyed the time together, the attention, the jokes. 

But she could notice that her closeness to Lisa was affecting her relationship with her other friends, it wasn't that they didn't talk anymore, Chaeyoung still made the effort to greet them every time they met in the halls and every time Lisa was busy doing who knows what, she spent her breakfasts with them, not to mention the messages that she exchanged daily with Tzuyu and Nayeon, but things were not like before.

Surprisingly things with Mina continued well, in some wonderful way she had managed to balance her time with Lisa and Mina without either of them getting angry about spending time with the other.

Lisa used to make comments that slightly hurt Chaeyoung, comments that she would rather forget for the sake of her mental health but Mina seemed to have erased Lisa from her life completely, they didn't talk, they didn't turn to see each other and for having been best friends for a year since before the little girl met them, it seemed that she had no problem to have left her as if nothing had happened. 

Although Chaeyoung found it curious, she had decided not to push her luck and take advantage of the small moments of peace she had between the two girls, her exams and her part-time job as a tutor. 

That is, until Nayeon called her. 

Chaeyoung was in the music room, it was a place where she liked to hang out or just go alone, that time however, Tzuyu, Jeongyeon and Lisa had decided to accompany her. 

"Girls, it's late. We should go back, I want to stop by the cafeteria to get something to eat" Lisa said and they all nodded, grabbing their stuff and leaving the room.

They walked quietly, between laughs and jokes, until Chaeyoung's phone rang and with a big smile on her face she answered it.

"Bro!" She said "Where are you? Me and the girls are going to the cafeteria, do you want anything?"

"Chaeng" The oldest said to her, her tone of voice was weird, almost muffled.

"Nayeonnie, what's up? Everything okay?"

"Who else is with you?" Chaeyoung's eyebrows furrowed in confusion but she answered. 

"Chou Tzu, Lisa and Jeongyeon, why? Is everything okay?"

"I'm on speakerphone?"

Chaeyoung furrowed her eyebrows even more, anxious "No and they're too busy being dorks to listen to you, what's wrong? You're scaring me."

"Sorry, sorry...I just don't know how to say this."

"Nayeonnie, come on, say it. Did something bad happen?"

The line went quiet and Chaeyoung for a second thought nayeon had hung up on her, until she spoke again "You know that Mina and I share a couple of classes, right?" 

"Uh, yeah." She urged her to continue 

" Well, she came in a while ago all excited with Bambam and Jackson, I didn't want to listen! I swear! I was just standing next to her and she was being too loud but then she mentioned something and I knew I had to tell you!"

Chaeyoung suddenly stopped walking, almost causing Jeongyeon to bump into her from behind, she ignored the mumbled 'dumbass' Jeongyeon let out, her mind blank "What did she say?"

"Chaengie..."

"Nayeon..."

"She came in all excited, she said a boy had approached her before class and asked for her number."

Chaeyoung felt like she could breathe again, she hated to admit it but ever since what happened with Miyeon, Chaeyoung had been more on edge than ever, she trusted Mina though and knew she would never do anything to hurt her, not anymore. 

"It's okay Nayeonnie, I thought it was something more serious, you almost gave me a heart attack."

"Chaeng..."

"Mina is a very pretty girl, I'm not surprised that people ask for her number" Chaeyoung kept on talking without stopping

"Chaeng..."

"I feel bad for the guys even so, getting rejected by such a cute girl must be hard, but it's okay, Mina can speak for herself-"

"She told him yes" Nayeon said but Chaeyoung didn't seem to hear her, apparently she had been distracted by Lisa, the girl let out a small laugh.

"Sorry, what did you say Nayeonnie?" 

"Mina, she told him yes. She gave him her number and promised to call later." 

The broken laughter that previously flooded Chaeyoung's chest was quickly replaced by a shortness of breath that made her lungs burn and her eyes become teary. 

Mina, what?

"What?" she asked in a broken voice

"Sorry Chaeyoungie" Nayeon's voice was now distant, the girl dropped her hands on either side of her body, her eyesight seemed unfocused and her legs didn't seem to be working.

"Chaeng" Jeongyeon called out to her "Are you okay?"

Chaeyoung managed to focus on Jeongyeon's eyes, looking at her with concern. She took a breath of air to try to wipe away the tears that formed in her eyes "Yes unnie, let's keep going."

Chaeyoung swore that her hands had started to bleed from how hard she clenched her fists to keep from crying, and with a giant pang in her chest she advanced her steps until she went to Lisa's side, who put an arm around her shoulders and continued telling a story that Chaeyoung didn't bother to listen to.

Her mind was screaming at her, her heart was squeezing against her chest and the painfully tight knot in her throat was choking her.

She needed to get to Nayeon, and fast.

Chapter Text

Chaeyoung didn't know at what point the tears started to come to her eyes, there was nothing she could do but hope the girls wouldn't notice her. 

She had tried to concentrate on other things, she had tried to look for more solutions or explanations for Mina but her mind couldn't find them, not when Mina hadn't seemed upset at the idea, not when she hadn't rejected the boy who approached her, not when she was so excited. 

There came a moment when her body began to move of its own freewill, she needed to find Nayeon, she needed Nayeon to hold her so she could cry in peace.

She knew that, logically Nayeon would be in class but by this point she didn't care, so she headed to her classroom with quick steps, throwing a pathetic excuse to Lisa over her shoulder that the girl seemed to accept. 

She was surprised to see Nayeon in the hallway, with Momo by her side, both of them had a worried expression on their face and Chaeyoung couldn't take it anymore.

She practically ran the distance between them until she was in front of Nayeon and immediately jumped into her arms, she could feel Nayeon's arms wrap tightly around her shoulders and her breath in her ear, whispering words of consolation "everything is going to be okay."

Chaeyoung just tightened her grip around the girl, Momo at some point also wrapped her arms behind Chaeyoung, the little girl started to tremble more.

She didn't know how long they had been there, she knew that the sight of three girls hugging in a hallway during class time was weird but she couldn't care less.

"What happened?" Momo whispered to Nayeon after a while and the girl had no choice but to tell her what happened, Momo's grip tightened too "It's okay, you're okay" Momo's voice reassured her, she didn't know how but she always managed to do it. 

"Why does she always have to do those things?" Nayeon asked to no one in particular, with a tone of annoyance. 

"I don't know, but I really wish it wasn't like that" Chaeyoung murmured from Nayeon's neck, pulling away a little. 

"Your face is a mess" Momo said to her and the little girl was able to smile weakly at that

"Yeah, well, I guess for now we could thank-" She cut herself off abruptly, tears filled her eyes more and she turned to Nayeon "Mina" She whispered to her again and Nayeon understood instantly. 

"Chaeyoung?" Mina's sweet voice filled his ears and the knot in her chest tightened even more "What's wrong? Are you okay?" 

Neither answered and Chaeyoung opted to completely hide her face in Nayeon's shoulder "Everything's fine Minari" Her raspy voice was drowned out by the girl's shoulder but she knew that Mina could hear her clearly.

Mina frowned and tried to get closer, "What? Of course not chaeyoung, I can practically-"

"Chaeyoung!" A voice interrupted her, the girl instinctively turned her gaze, to see Lisa running towards her with Jeongyeon and Tzuyu following behind her "Son!" 

"Lisa? What-what's wrong?" Lisa's arms didn't let her finish and she could feel the air in her lungs leave her due to the force of the hug. 

"Chou Tzu noticed you were crying, sorry I didn't realize it, I came as soon as I could" She wailed and Chaeyoung softened instantly, returning the hug with a sigh. 

"It's okay, you're here now." 

"What happened?" Chaeyoung's gaze instinctively went to Mina, who despite the fuss was still standing there, a little further away but she was definitely waiting for someone to explain to her what was going on, Lisa followed her gaze and immediately moved away, turning her body towards Mina's but before she could get closer to the Japanese Chaeyoung stopped her and pulled her towards her "No, Lisa"

"But-"

"No" 

The Thai woman sighed and clenched her jaw, Chaeyoung could feel the anger emanating from her but she didn't try to move further away "Fine, whatever. I'll go get some tissue paper for you, you look like shit."

"Thanks." 

When Lisa was out of Chaeyoung's grip, Mina took the opportunity to throw herself into the girl's arms and Chaeyoung didn't have the strength to pull her away from her, not when the girl was hugging her so carefully and full of love 

"Can you tell me what happened?" She whispered to her. 

"It's nothing Minari."

"Doesn't seem like it's nothing?" Chaeyoung could feel her breath so close to her and it made her nervous, she opted not to say anything else and threw a glance at Nayeon which the girl quickly understood 

"Come on girls, I forgot something" She instinctively took Jeongyeon's hand and pulled her, Momo followed them a little later, the younger one hesitated a little but Chaeyoung assured her with her eyes that she could leave.

"Are you okay?" 

"Yes Chou Tzu, everything is fine." 

The younger girl nodded but didn't make any gestures to leave, Lisa came back a little later, with tissue paper and a bottle of water in hand, she ignored Mina while she ran the paper over Chaeyoung's cheeks, wiping away the dried tears that were there. 

When she finished, she handed her the water bottle and Chaeyoung thanked her.

Mina was the one who broke the silence afterward "You should drink water, after crying like this, you'll get a headache."

Chaeyoung nodded and opened her mouth to say something but dropped it abruptly when she saw Lisa's expression. 

"Lisa, why don't you go with Chou Tzu to get my things, it seems that Nayeon took them and I need them" She told her gently but the girl didn't move "Lisa" 

"Come on Li, I know where the girls are" Tzuyu spoke and Chaeyoung wanted to give her the biggest hug right there for saving her.

"Alright, let's go" She didn't sound very convinced but she started to move slowly, her eyes reflected anger and honestly Chaeyoung couldn't blame her.

With resignation Lisa started to walk and Chaeyoung thanked everything divine for having avoided a fight that Mina definitely wasn't going to win. 

"Are you going to tell me why you were crying now?" Mina spoke before Lisa could be out of earshot and the little girl knew that if she didn't do anything things were going to get ugly. 

"If you want her to stop crying, you should stop doing shit that hurts her" Lisa spat with a tone full of venom and Mina finally stopped looking at her girlfriend's face to rest her eyes on Lisa, who was walking calmly away from them.

"Minari" 

Chaeyoung's voice drew her back and she turned around, forcing a not-so-good smile. 

"It's alright, okey?" Chaeyoung stroked her cheeks gently but Mina's confused look didn't change. 

She was not longer sad, she was mad at Mina, but she still have the clarity to know that it wasn’t worth talking to Mina now, not while she was this hurt, nothing good could come out of that 

"Why won't you tell me what's wrong?" Mina asked, grabbing 

Chaeyoung's wrists to stop her from moving her hands 

"Because it was nothing" A lie "You know how I get when I'm stressed, everything becomes too much for me."

Mina nodded, not very convinced. “You feel better then?" Chaeyoung nodded quickly and Mina sighed "Okay, come. You have to eat something."

"I already ate Minari" Another lie 

"Mhm, I didn't, come with me?" She stretched out her hand and the little girl took it quickly, forcing a lopsided smile at Mina. 

-

"You have to tell her something" Nayeon said to Chaeyoung, stroking her hair as the little girl rested her head on the other's lap. 

"I know." 

"What are you going to tell her?" 

"That I don't know, I'll think about it later, let me sleep" Chaeyoung whined.

"I say you should break up with her" Lisa spoke this time and Chaeyoung quickly raised her head. 

"What?" 

"I'll give you a bowl of ice cream if you break up with her"

"We're not even something ofici-"

"Perfect, easier" Lisa cut her off before she finished "You get a bowl of ice-cream and one less crazy poisonous person" 

"Mina is not poisonous"

"How many times has she made you cry these two months?"

"Two, but-"

"And how many times has she lied to you?"

"That doesn't matter, she apologized and-"

"Chaeyoung, just listen to yourself!" Nayeon spoke " You're not even girlfriends and she's already hurt you so much."

"It's my fault unnie, I over think things too much, she's not to blame for that" Nayeon and Lisa growled in annoyance. 

"How do you explain today?"

”I'm sure Nayeon unnie misheard or Minari has a reasonable explanation for that."

"Chaeyoung!"

"Lisa!"

"Look, chaeyoung. Do you really want to start a relationship like this? Making excuses to justify actions that hurt you?"

"They only hurt me because I'm too sensitive, it doesn't mean she did anything wrong."

"Well, let's ignore what happened today, do you really want to start a relationship with such a person?"

"'such a person'?"

"Yes, a person who makes you cry more than she makes you happy."

Chaeyoung completely got up from Nayeon's lap and looked at her strangely "Mina makes me happy, Nayeon, she's not to blame for anything what happened."

"What about what happened today?" Lisa jumped into the conversation 

"That's different"

"How?"

Chaeyoung was getting tired and it showed in her features "I don't have to explain anything to you guys."

"Exactly, you have to do that with Mina" Nayeon told her.

She knew they were right, she hated that they were right. If she wanted things with Mina to become clearer she should talk to her about what happened without evading the subject

But she was so angry, so hurt that she didn't think it was a good idea.

She hated that Lisa was right, she hated that Nayeon was right, part of her knew that Mina was bad for her, she wanted to believe that despite how they met and how strangely weird their relationship had developed, they had something special, something that could save.

"You and your hero complex have to stop, someday you're going to meet someone who's going to break you, I don't want that to happen" She remembers Jeongyeon telling her once, years ago. 

She didn't want to save Mina, she wanted to learn to love her, to be with her.

She knew the girl was carrying a lot of pain with herself, she knew she had problems. 

Maybe, you do have a hero complex Son Chaeyoung. 

She was so afraid that if she talked to Mina things would be fucked up, that Mina would think she was paranoid and leave her alone. She was afraid that no one could make her feel the way Mina had made her feel in such a short time, she was afraid of losing something that she didn't even know if it was hers to begin with 

But the pain was building up and sooner or later one of them would end up getting hurt. 

But Chaeyoung hated confrontations more than anything, if someone made her angry, she would apologize even if it wasn't her fault, if someone made her feel sad she would push the feeling away because she would rather suffer than intentionally make someone else feel bad. 

Mina didn't help either, after what happened with Lisa and how easily she let her go to avoid more 'fights' didn't give her much hope.

She didn't even know why she should talk to Mina, her head was screaming at her to just forget about the girl, to send her a text message explaining that she thought things over and that she doesn't feel ready to go on with her, even if it wasn't the most mature thing in the world.

But her heart on the other hand couldn't bear the thought of hurting Mina, even if it cost her her own suffering. 

"Look Son, I don't care what happens, but I'll make you break up with that girl" The Thai woman spoke and Chaeyoung looked at her questioningly "You can do it or I can do it but I'm not going to stand idly by and watch her play with you"

Chaeyoung felt a little fear settle in her chest, she knew that Lisa's threats always came true, she had learned it the hard way but she couldn't help but notice a tone of venom in her tone, not towards Mina, but towards her. 

"No Lili, I'll talk to her. It's my problem, okay?" she sighed "I really appreciate you caring about me but it's something for me to work out."

"You'll earn a whole can of ice cream if you do things right then " She winked. 

"Lalisa!" Nayeon shouted.

-

Chaeyoung took a couple of days to think things over, which meant pretending things were fine with Mina until she was ready to talk.

Surprisingly it wasn't difficult, whenever the girl tried to spend time with her she tried to be busy or fall asleep, so Mina wouldn't suspect anything.

It also helped that they spent time together in a private place, like Mina's room or the park that the girls had made their own, Chaeyoung was somewhat spared from the distrustful glances that the other girls would throw at Mina.

As it turns out, word of what happened spread throughout the group, Chaeyoung attributed it to Lisa, who never misses an opportunity to blurt out passive aggressive remarks about the situation. 

She told herself that she could keep pretending that the disapproving looks of Nayeon, Lisa and Momo didn't bother her, at least for a couple of days more but Chaeyoung felt bad, her friends' opinion mattered to her but Mina's feelings mattered more, she still felt like a coward for not being able to defend Mina properly.

Even so it seemed that Mina did not notice anything wrong and had forgotten what happened, Chaeyoung had also begun to forget the anger, it was still there, but it was no longer a deafening pain that did not let her sleep, more like a small discomfort that was still there.

She planned to keep avoiding everything for a while, until finally the multicultural day at school came and she knew she had to join the girls and for the sake of convenience, Mina.

Multicultural day was something she was excited about, it meant an excuse to skip class without worrying about the consequences and Chaeyoung loved it. 

The little girl had taken that day as an opportunity to relax, unfortunately Lisa had not thought the same since the first thing she said to her when she saw her in the morning was "Are you through with her?"

To which Chaeyoung clearly denied, "What are you waiting for then?"

Chaeyoung was confused by Lisa's insistence but chalked it up to Lisa trying to protect her.

Fortunately, Mina didn't take long to arrive and immediately took the opportunity to drag her to a corner so she could 'talk quietly' which was a poor excuse to try to kiss her without Dahyun starting to complain 

"Mi-Minari-" Chaeyoung tried to say between kisses, Mina just made a sound with her throat, letting her know that she was listening "Minari, wait."

"What's wrong?" she whined, pulling away a little "Let me kiss you" She leaned in again to take Chaeyoung's lips between her own, Chaeyoung forgot what she was doing for a moment, Mina's kisses were her favorite thing.

However when Mina began to deepen the kiss, Chaeyoung knew they wouldn't talk a lot if the girl let her continue, so she pulled away from her, placing her hands on the Japanese girl's shoulders to keep her still 

"Minarin." 

"What's wrong?" They were so close, so close that their noses were touching. 

"We need to talk" She whispered to her and Mina nodded deliberately. 

"It's okay love, let's talk" She left a peck on her lips and Chaeyoung couldn't help but smile 

"Not here, let's go somewhere more private"

Mina nodded, smiling and followed Chaeyoung from behind, their hands clasped together 

As they crossed the room they were in, the little girl couldn't help but feel the girls' stares drilling holes in her back. 

She decided to ignore it, again, and follow until she left the place with Mina.

They headed for the library, which hopefully would be empty.

Chaeyoung led them to a remote, empty couch and Mina wasted no time curling up next to the Korean.

They quickly started talking and Chaeyoung calmed down a bit, Mina always made things easy by talking to her, it seemed natural because they never ran out of conversation

"So, what did you want to talk about?"

Chaeyoung's mind went blank, she had prepared a speech earlier so she knew what to say but she had forgotten everything the moment Mina spoke.

She opened her mouth and closed it a couple of times like a fish out of water "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just…” She thought a bit "Agh alright, let's sit down okay" She said doing so and moving a bit away from Mina in the process. 

"Chaeyoung?"

The said girl sighed and stared at her legs before turning to look at Mina "A few days ago something happened, Nayeon said something."

"Okay...What did she say?" Mina's tone of voice indicated she didn't know what she was talking about. 

"I'm not good with confrontations" She started "And I had to mentally prepare myself to talk to you because I'm a coward"

" Why does it look like you're going to break up with me huh?" Mina tried to joke but the blank stare Chaeyoung threw at her made her suddenly go quiet "You're going to break up with me."

Chaeyoung took her time to reply "The girls wanted me to."

Once again Mina looked at her with confusion "The girls? What? Why?"

Mina moved away from her and Chaeyoung had to resist the temptation to walk up to her and take her in her arms "Nayeonnie heard some things you said the other day, she didn't mean to spy on you, I swear!" she paused and raised her hands in defense "And it hurt me too much when she told me because I didn't know how to feel about it."

"Chaeyoung, I really don't understand what you're talking about now." 

"Nayeon said that a guy came up to ask for your number" She dared to look her in the eyes "I know you're your own person, I know you're not something I own and I don't want you to be, I know people will always approach you because you're beautiful and that's okay, it's the perks of dating someone like you"

"Chaeng..." The little girl raised her hand and the Japanese girl shut up 

"I know you're capable of doing things on your own, that's why I don't understand why you would accept him, and even worse, why you would be so excited as to tell him to call him" 

Mina kept silent and looked down, her shoulders were shaking a little "It means you're breaking up with me, right? 

It's your time Chaeyoung, you have to set boundaries. Be true to your beliefs and don't let people walk all over you. Her head screamed at her 

"No Minari..."

You're so fucking stupid Son Chaeyoung.

"I just want to know why?"

"Chaeng..."

"I don't care what the girls said, I don't care what they want because even though their opinions are important to me I don't want them to rule my happiness, so I'm giving you the opportunity to tell me, why? 

Mina looked lost, she had a glance that the cub couldn't decipher properly and she started to worry "Minari..."

Upon hearing her name the Japanese let out a sob that made Chaeyoung's heart ache, after one sob came many more and the little girl didn't know what to do. 

She slowly approached the girl as she sobbed loudly and placed her as gently as she could on her lap, wrapping her arms protectively around Mina's frame, the girl didn't seem to mind because she quickly hid in the Korean's neck, soaking Chaeyoung's shirt with tears in the process.

The sobs choked against Chaeyoung's neck and the girl could feel Mina's agitated breathing against her, she tried to think of something to calm the girl down but she was so stunned that nothing came to mind.

She opted to stroke the girl's dark hair, pressing her tighter against her to calm her shaking shoulders, when that didn't work she began to whisper words in her ear 

"You're okay Minari" "It's all right, love."

Over and over again until the girl seemed to have stopped shaking, Chaeyoung would have thought Mina had fallen asleep if it wasn't for the occasional sobs she let out or how she sniffled her nose every now and then. 

"Sorry" Mina's raspy voice caught her attention "Sorry for everything."

Chaeyoung's heart ached again at the girl's weak tone. 

"I don't know why I did it, it didn't even feel right"

"I can't know either Minari" Chaeyoung spoke as calmly as possible. 

"I never meant to hurt you, please forgive me. Don't mind the girls, I didn't mean to" Mina's insistent tone didn't please Chaeyoung at all. 

In the time they knew each other the girl saw Mina as a person who doesn't break easy, a person who wouldn't let you see that she's hurting , that whole image broke in a moment in front of her and the guilt hit her like a bus. 

If only you hadn't opened your big mouth Chaeyoung. 

You made her cry!

" Take it easy Minari, everything is fine" She said "You don't have to cry anymore, love."

The girl didn't respond at all and Chaeyoung didn't dare to break the silence again, she felt she had messed things up enough.

She felt she had overreacted by reacting like that, she had been too harsh on Mina and had made her cry, Chaeyoung felt like the shittiest person in the world.

"Sorry for making you cry earlier" Mina said and Chaeyoung squeezed her waist. 

"Sorry for making you cry just now" Mina laughed weakly at the comment. 

"I guess we're even then" Chaeyoung made a noise of affirmation. 

"Minari"

"Hmm?"

"I think we should head back, the girls must be out looking for us" Mina nodded not very convinced 

"Can we stay a little longer please? I don't know if I'm ready to see the girls, just...just give me a few minutes." 

Chae's heart filled with guilt again but she agreed and Mina gave her a light kiss on the lips, without applying so much pressure "Thank you."

Chapter Text

It didn't take long to get back to the girls, at least that's what Chaeyoung thought before seeing the almost one hundred and fifty messages she had in a new group that Lisa had created, she rolled her eyes almost instinctively. 

"What's wrong?" Mina asked curiously. 

"Lisa is being dramatic" She said with fake annoyance and Mina smiled "I think we should go back now" The Japanese nodded and got up quickly from the couch. 

"Let's go before they send Jihyo after us." 

"Jihyo unnie isn't that bad" Mina smiled lopsidedly at her with a raised eyebrow "Okay, maybe she can be a little overprotective, she's like a mom"

"Remember when she made Momo and Jeongyeon be tied by their wrists for 6 hours because they wouldn't stop fighting?"

" Fine, she can be a little mean but you love her just the same" She said placing a kiss on her cheek "Let's go."

Mina took her hand warmly and they walked out of the library, the Japanese girl had a smile adorning her whole face and Chaeyoung was calmer.

She just hoped the girls would listen to her before she made Mina feel bad again, her mind began to wander the possible scenarios that could unfold if she and Mina arrived holding hands. 

Unfortunately they all ended up with an angry Nayeon and an even more annoyed Lisa with her over her ice cream canister. 

She couldn't think much more when Jeongyeon's voice called her from far away and the two girls turned to look at her.

”Chaeng, Mina!" She waved her hand at them, she didn't seem upset to see them together, she actually looked very happy and that reassured them both 

Mina approached with a hesitant smile to the table where they were all sitting with a very tense Chaeyoung beside her. Jihyo saw them and smiled greatly. 

"How nice that you decided to join us, you disappeared for a while" She said wiggling her eyebrows suggestively and Chaeyoung actually smiled, she knew she hadn't made the comment maliciously.

"We got a little distracted, did we miss something?"

"Got distracted by what? Trying to eat each other? Yeah, I saw you" Nayeon complained with a faint smile.

"Oh come on, let them. They're cute" Jeongyeon told them with a smile that Chaeyoung reciprocated, Jeongyeon and Jihyo were always nice to them and she appreciated it too much. 

Even more so for Mina who hadn't let go of her hand since they sat with the others and she could feel her palms sweating a little from nerves, she didn't mind but she was worried about her 

"Whatever, they're already here" Nayeon said. 

" You didn't miss much, the lectures were very boring and I think we have the rest of the day off" Sana explained 

After that the conversation became very trivial, the cub could feel how the girl next to her gradually relaxed and Chaeyoung did too, leaving aside the leering glances that Lisa briefly threw at her. 

The day progressed without any more problems and there came a point when Mina had to leave.

"I'll leave now, Bambam has been looking for me like crazy" She announced and took her things " I'll see you later baby, okay? bye" She gave her a kiss on the cheek and said goodbye with a smile to the others. 

The others returned the gesture, except Lisa and Nayeon which didn't surprise her much 

Nayeon was the first to speak after making sure that Mina was no longer in sight. "So, what happened?" 

Suddenly 8 pair of eyes were on her and she shuffled uncomfortably in her seat "We talked."

"And...?" 

"Things are fine, we fixed everything. There's nothing more to talk about." 

"Well, I'm glad you patched things up with your girl Chaengie" Jeongyeon said happily and threw her a smile that turned into a pained frown when Nayeon pinched her on the arm 

"You're supposed to scold her!" 

"Chaengie is old enough to make her own choices, isn’t she?" Jeongyeon said and Jihyo nodded, agreeing. 

"I still think they should break up, you ran out of a big pot of ice cream today" Lisa interjected. 

"I'm not going to break up with her" She said "And I would really appreciate it if you guys leave the topic alone, I don't want to hurt her anymore"

"I don't understand why you don't" Lisa's tone became more insistent "I'm sure she'll find a new girl in less than a week after you".

“Lisa-" Nayeon started but Chaeyoung cut her off. 

"Why do you care so much anyway? I thought you hated her"

"It has nothing to do with that, I care about you."

"And I appreciate it very much but don't you think you should trust me-"

Chaeyoung couldn't finish the sentence because Lisa was already getting up from the table with an annoyed expression "Fine, whatever. Just don't come crying to me next time you get hurt because I don't care." 

She left flaming and the table was left with an uncomfortable atmosphere until Dahyun decided to break it up 

"You can come cry with me all you want Chaengie" She winked amusedly and even Jihyo let out a laugh. 

"I think I preferred if my Chaengie comes to my room crying" Nayeon said and the pressure on Chaeyoung's shoulders dissipated, for some reason hearing Nayeon, her best friend, say that, calmed her down too much 

It had hurt her what Lisa had said, more because her opinion mattered too much to her but she knew she was not alone.

"Preferably don't go to anyone's room crying, but of course, if it happens again you're welcome" Jihyo chimed in. 

"Well, if I had to choose I think I'd go with Nayeonnie and Jihyo unnie, I don't want to interrupt Dahyun and Sana again while…they do their thing."

The cheeks of the mentioned colored red and Dahyun as best she could shouted "It was just once" which made the girls burst into laughter.

-

Mina called her the next day, which didn't surprise her, they basically talked every day when they couldn't see each other and this time was no exception, they didn't talk about anything specific and Chaeyoung was always happy to listen to her talk late into the night, sometimes they would fall asleep on the phone call.

Well, Chaeyoung slept while Mina talked about her day but neither of them seemed to be bothered by it.

Chaeyoung tried to take advantage of those calls because lately (after their talk) Mina opted to spend her free time with her new best friends, she didn't even know their names and didn't bother to learn them, she knew that Mina was a person who seemed to enjoy her time with guys more since most of her friends were just that, guys. 

And Chaeyoung didn't mind, she wasn't the type to get jealous of her partner's friends and most of all, she trusted Mina, it's just that these guys she had become close to were not at all the type of person Mina would hang out with.

Nayeon and Momo had assured her that she didn't have to worry about anything and more because they were both friends of the same group and they assured her that although they seemed like bad people, in reality they were amazing and although she didn't believe Momo because her judgment was often wrong, she trusted Nayeon and knew that if she said it was because she was sure of it.

This reassured Chaeyoung for a while, until the group and her friends got into the habit of going drinking in the middle of the morning on a school day and then hanging out in the hallways reeking of alcohol, a habit Chaeyoung didn't like at all, because it put her friends at risk and because although she drank alcohol from time to time, she didn't like it enough to drink it at 9 in the morning. 

Nayeon tried to reassure her whenever she could, letting her know that Mina was fine and that Momo was fine too, it helped a little to know that Nayeon didn't drink alcohol and was there just because Momo seemed to get along with the guys and Nayeon herself liked a couple of them.

Chaeyoung decided to trust them after a while, as long as Nayeon was with them she knew nothing bad could happen. She still saw Mina in the mornings, before school or in the hallway during free time, sometimes they even spent their break in the school library like before if the little girl was lucky enough to find her before Bambam or the group of weird friends. 

And the little girl wasn't completely alone, of course she missed Nayeon and Momo from time to time, even if she saw them on the weekly outings that jihyo organized it seemed like the girls were disappearing more and more, or maybe Chaeyoung had given up looking for them.

During that period that Chaeyoung swears was an eternity (Dahyun assures her that it was two months) the little girl became even closer to Lisa, that even though sometimes she let out a couple of comments that hurt her, and more than once she had hit Chaeyoung a little oh-not-so gently on the arm, Chaeyoung loved her very much. 

Lisa and she had opted to spend their breaks talking about movies or hanging out with Tzuyu, Dahyun and Sana and it was enough for her.

Jihyo and Jeongyeon sometimes decided to join in and found a tight spot in the library or Sana's room to hang out, yes, it was nice to finally have a routine. 

Spending their mornings with Mina, having lunch on break with Lisa and the others and occasionally going out in the evenings for spontaneous dates with Mina.

She had found a balance to have Mina and her friends without either party feeling neglected and it was working for her. 

"Chaengie" was the first thing Mina said when the little girl answered the call "Let's go out today, I miss you."

"Okay Minari, do you have any ideas of what you want to do? There's a new cafe that opened recently and I think we could-"

"I'll go to your room" She said suddenly and Chaeyoung was surprised. 

"You sure? I can go to your room instead or I can pick you up?" She asked her, Mina hardly spent any time in her room, mostly because she was somewhat away from campus and they decided to spend their time in Mina's instead.

"No, don't worry. Do you want me to bring anything?" 

"Nah, we'll order something to eat over here, hurry up."

"Okay, see ya. Thanks." 

Chaeyoung sighed and decided to take a quick shower before Mina arrived. 

She had been so busy with all the drama that she had completely forgotten about her physical condition, her ribs had clearly healed by now. It had been almost three months since the last time she had done something to hurt her, things had gotten easier, happier and she hadn't felt those urges for a while, she had decided to distract herself with other, slightly healthier things, like painting or Mina.

"What are you doing?" Dahyun entered her room with a curious look. 

"Mina is coming for dinner, are you and Sana staying?" Dahyun opened the eyes a little but didn’t say nothing about Mina coming over 

"Sure, I'll tell her we can stay here."

"What about Momo?" Dahyun blushed slightly at that and Chaeyoung smiled. 

“What about her, she lives here too, you know?” 

“No, you dork. I mean, does she plan to stay for the night? or are you all planning to go to Sana’s?

"We were planning to go for dinner after her dance class but I know she's tired, I'll tell her we'll stay here."

"So dinner huh?" Dahyun blushed even more and plopped down on the little girl's bed, covering her face with a pillow. 

"She's been so stressed, Sana and I wanted to help her out a bit."

Chaeyoung plopped down next to her "I can think of a couple of things you could do to help he-Ouch!" she complained as Dahyun started hitting her arm a couple of times "Okay, okay, sorry. Stop hitting me!" 

Dahyun stopped and sighed deeply "We're working on it." 

"She already knows?" Dahyun quickly denied 

"No, Sana wants to wait for the right time to talk to her."

"Well, you don't have to worry at all" Chaeyoung saw the doubt in Dahyun's eyes 

"Momo already loves you two, that won't change anything"

"Thank you, I hope so" She smiled 

However the moment was interrupted by a knock on the door that the little girl knew well who it belonged to, but apparently Sana was faster than her and opened the door because she heard a "Mina is here" and smiled 

"Coming" She shouted back and got up, but not before leaving a chaste kiss on Dahyun's forehead that earned an 'ew' as a response. 

"Come on, make yourself presentable" She said to Dahyun before leaving. 

"Minari!" she shouted and jumped into the girl's arms, who caught her with a loud laugh and gave her a kiss on the side of her hair

"Hi!"

Chaeyoung tightened her grip "I missed you."

"I missed you more" She whispered in her ear "I couldn't wait until tomorrow to see you." 

Chaeyoung smiled even more, until she showed her adorable dimple "You're amazing."

Mina smiled and moved in to kiss Chaeyoung's lips, the little girl sighed almost immediately into the kiss which made Mina sketch a satisfied smile, the little girl's hands went to caress the girl's cheeks instinctively to pull her closer to herself and mina's hands moved from her shoulders to Chaeyoung's waist. 

Chaeyoung tilted her head a little more to start deepening the kiss and Mina eagerly accepted. 

"No sex in the living room!" Dahyun shouted and the girls quickly pulled apart, as if the touch had burned them. 

Dahyun laughed loudly at the sight and went over to hug Mina with a jump that surprised her, the girl grabbed her however with a small 'oof' due to the sudden weight.

"Minari, good to see you. How are you?" she intensified her grip around her "You've been good to Chaengie, haven't you?" She whispered the last part 

Mina swallowed and nodded "I'm always good with Chaengie." 

Dahyun pulled away and smiled at her "Good, keep it up" She walked away giving her a thumbs up. 

Sana was the next to approach her, surprisingly calmer than Dahyun and hugged her lightly with a smile "Mitang, nice of you to drop by" It was short but sweet and she knew Mina could use a little sweetness.

Sana had been one of those who had recommended Chaeyoung to break up with the girl, which surprised her deeply since the girl was sweetness incarnate. 

"How would you feel if Dahyun ever did that to me?" She had told her when she found out and Chaeyoung got a bitter taste in her mouth, the truth was that the little girl was very overprotective of Sana and vice versa. 

"Dahyun would never do something like that!" she excused herself. 

"Exactly, find yourself someone who would never do to you what she has done to you!" 

She could tell that the Japanese girl wasn't too happy with her friend's actions but after Chaeyoung asked them to stop with the subject (And a very inspirational talk from Jeongyeon to the girls about how Chaeyoung was a big girl who could make her own decisions) most had calmed down and being honest with herself, Lisa didn't count. 

"Thanks Satang" She took off her shoes quickly and hung up her coat "Where's Moguri?"

"Oh, she's coming, she had dance class today!" Dahyun explained from the kitchen. 

"Oh, perfect then. Will you be joining us for dinner?" She asked curiously and Sana smiled at her. 

"Yes, speaking of which. Do you guys have anything in mind that you want to eat?" The other Japanese woman asked 

"Pizza?" Chaeyoung asked and the girls nodded "Okay, I'll be right back" She left a chaste kiss on Mina's cheek and went upstairs.

"So, Mina. What a surprise to have you here" Sana spoke. 

"I missed Chaeyoung a lot and thought I'd pay her a visit for once."

"Great, are you staying the night?" Dahyun asked curiously

"Oh no, I already imposed too much" She raised her hands in refusal. 

Dahyun denied "Come on, don't worry. Chaeyoung would love to have you here for the night and I don't think she's going to let you go alone late at night"

"I'll talk to Chaeyoung later about that" Dahyun nodded and sat next to Sana in the living room, Mina followed them not long after.

"Are you planning something for later?" Mina suddenly asked. 

"We were planning to go to dinner but I don't think Moguri has the strength to do that, she always comes home too tired from her dance classes" Sana explained and Mina nodded 

"You're very attentive girlfriends, Momo-chan must be very happy" She said with a smile and Dahyun choked on the water she was drinking 

Sana patted her back a couple of times while Dahyun fumbled and tried to talk "Momo…we-we, don’t..."

"Breathe Dubu" Sana told her and the girl nodded.

Mina moved a little closer to her, worried. 

"Are you okay?" Dahyun nodded and sat up straight. 

"Momo and us, we're not girlfriends..."

Mina's eyes widened in surprise and an apology left her lips "Sorry! I didn't mean to assume, just that you guys are so-"

"No, no. It's okay Mitang, it's all right."

"No, sorry! It was rude of me, I didn't mean to-" Sana held her hands in a sweet way to calm her down.

"It's okay, we're not her girlfriends yet."

"Yet?" Sana nodded. 

"It's kind of complicated but we're working on it" Mina agreed, still with a surprised look on her face. 

"We're just waiting for the right time" Dahyun said with a shy smile that the Japanese reciprocated 

"I'm happy for you then" Mina sighed. 

"What about you?" Dahyun asked

"What about me?"

"When are you going to ask Chaengie to be your girlfriend?" Sana gave her a slight poke in the ribs which the Korean ignored "It's time, isn't it? How long have you two been going out? Almost 4 months or more?" The Japanese nodded heavily. 

"That's why I came here" Even Sana turned to look at her in surprise "I was planning something romantic" She bent down to lift a bag with things in it, which none of the other girls had noticed

"It got a little ruined because of us, didn't it?" Sana said regretfully

"No! Not at all!" She denied "If I'm being honest with you I think I chickened out a bit."

"Yeah, and it's not the most romantic scene either!" Dahyun said and Sana shot her a glare. 

"Don't worry about it, Chaeyoung is simple, you could give her a rock and she would think it's the most romantic thing in the world!"

Mina smiled "It's not that, I just want everything to be perfect. We've been talking about this for a while now and neither of us would like something public, I thought the best way would be to do it just between the two of us."

"Oh, looks like someone will be getting lucky tonight" Dahyun raised her eyebrows mischievously and Sana hit her with fake annoyance.

“Stop that” Sana said “Look Mina, i think that you should stop thinking and just do it already”

”Do what?” 

“Nothing!” All three girls screamed at the same time, a surprised Chaeyoung watching them.

"Okay...weird" She finished walking down the stairs "Pizza is on its way, what about Momo?"

Dahyun picked up her cell phone to check it "I texted her a while ago but she didn't answer, I'll call her" She said and got up from her place to head to the kitchen. 

"So, what were you two talking about?" The girl sat down in front of Mina and took her hands to wrap them around her waist, a gesture that the Japanese girl appreciated a lot 

"Momo" Sana said the first excuse that came to her head and Chaeyoung's mouth formed into an 'o'.

"Well, like I told Dahyun. You don't have to worry about it, I'm sure she knows and is just waiting for either of you to say something."

"How are you so sure she knows?"

"Oh please, everyone does."

"No they don't!"

Chaeyoung scoffed "Even Chou Tzu noticed and we know she's very dense"

"She's not that dense" Sana complained. 

Dahyun came back and resumed her place, this time on Sana's lap "Right, because Jihyo's been making heart eyes at her ever since she met her and poor Chewy thinks she'll never have a chance with her, it's tiring"

"It's gross to watch them" Chaeyoung said "If I see Tzuyu drooling again every time Jihyo unnie tells her story about her trip to Switzerland I think I'm going to throw up."

"Wait, Jihyo and Tzuyu are in love?"

"Painfully." 

The expression on Mina's face turned into one of confusion again "But I thought Jihyo was straight?"

Chaeyoung and Dahyun let out a laugh while Sana looked at her with a raised eyebrow. 

"Please! Jihyo is the gayest person ever!" Dahyun exclaimed. 

"What about this guy she went out with? Daniel?" Mina asked in confusion 

"They went out, things didn't work out, Jihyo met Tzuyu and now they're going to end up married" Dahyun spoke, pretending to wipe a fake tear from her eye 

"I think Minari is even more dense than Tzuyu" Sana teased and the Japanese girl's cheeks turned red 

"Hey, don't make fun of my girl" Chaeyoung pouted "It's not her fault she has terrible gaydar."

Mina gave her an offended look but Dahyun spoke up first "Says the girl who thought her girlfriend was dating a man."

Chaeyoung's expression changed to one of shock and hid on Mina's shoulder "What are you talking about?"

"Our chaengie here, apparently thought you were straight until you started talking about girls with Jeongyeon unnie."

"Aww, really?" she tried to turn to look at Chaeyoung's face but the girl was avidly hiding on her shoulder 

"I'm going to kill Nayeon" She muttered.

"Please don't, I'm always going to be grateful that she's a gossip."

"Come on, babe. We all know Momo is the one who told you, she loves to hear Nayeonnie's stories"

"Sure I do" A voice startled them and they all turned to see a very smiling Momo at the door. 

"Momo-chan" Sana said and the girl's smile intensified even more, she took off her shoes, arranging them in the corner next to Mina's and walked over, dropping her bag on a nearby chair with a heavy sigh 

"How was class?" Dahyun asked. 

"Tiring."

"Oh, maybe you should let your girls help you to-" Chaeyoung started to say but a knock at the door interrupted her.

The little girl smiled mischievously but got up "Well, the pizza is here" She announced looking at two very blushing Sana and Dahyun.

"Momo why don't you go freshen up while we take care of everything around here" Mina said and Momo nodded.

"We'll watch a movie?" The Japanese woman asked 

"Yeah, it's my turn to choose" Dahyun said and they all grunted, except for Mina. 

"Fine, I'll hurry" Momo hurried up the stairs and the girls got up to help set things up. 

It wasn't too hard, 20 minutes later the room was full of plates with snacks, the pizza, a pile of blankets Dahyun had brought and the TV ready to start the movie 

Momo joined them not much later, settled on the floor in front of the pizza and grabbed a bite without waiting for anyone.

Looks like no cuddles for those two tonight She looked sideways at Dahyun and Sana who were immersed in the movie. 

Chaeyoung for her part had decided to take her place next to Mina, the Japanese girl had her left arm wrapped around the girl's shoulders and was holding her piece of pizza with the other, throwing a smile at the girl from time to time. 

Soon they were all immersed in the movie "Isle of Dogs", surprisingly Chaeyoung was liking the movie, she would never admit it out loud but Dahyun had good taste in certain things, like movies and girlfriends. 

Momo was the first to fall, Chaeyoung attributed it to her tired day, she was followed by Dahyun who surprisingly lasted until midnight, Sana tried to fight the sleep but soon the two remaining girls could hear the soft snoring coming from the girl

The credits rolled across the screen and soon the room was filled with silence. 

"Chaeyoung" Mina called out to her and tightened her grip on the girl's shoulders. 

"Minari, what's up-?" Mina's lips on hers didn't let her finish, the Japanese girl's hand landed on Chaeyoung's neck pulling her closer to her body until she was practically on her lap, the two sighed at the contact but Chaeyoung couldn't concentrate properly with the other three girls practically beside them. 

Heavily she detached herself from Mina's lips, which followed her immediately "Mmm! Minari, Mina" She grabbed her by the cheeks "Wait!" 

Mina looked at her between her eyelashes, breathing heavily and with swollen lips, it was an irresistible sight for the little girl, she even felt bad for stopping her, it didn't last long since Mina pounced to leave delicate kisses on Chaeyoung's jaw, creating a delicate wet path up to the girl's neck 

Chaeyoung's mouth half opened and a moan threatened to leave her lips, "Minari..."  

"Mhm?" The girl murmured from his neck, too busy leaving kisses there to pay attention. 

"The girls are here." Her breath got stuck in her throat when Mina leaved a delicate bite in the side of her neck 

They grip around her waist tightened “Mmm, they can watch."

Chaeyoung laughed delicately "Minari, no" The mentioned girl reluctantly pulled away and Chaeyoung couldn't resist leaving a kiss on her lips "Sorry love but I don't feel like giving Dahyun a chance to make fun of me for the rest of my life."

"Sorry, you're right" She broke away completely and fixed her hair "What shall we do with them?" 

The little girl turned to look at the girls, Dahyun had her head resting on her girlfriend's lap, Sana was lying in a not very comfortable position and the cub suspected she would be complaining of a sharp neck pain the next day

Momo for her part had made herself comfortable on the floor by Sana's feet, she did look very cozy.

Chaeyoung decided the easiest thing to do was to throw a blanket over the girls to keep them warm for the night. 

"Chaengie" Mina called to her "Come with me to see the stars?" 

The cub smiled sweetly and nodded "Sure, come with me, they look better from Momo's room."

The two walked up the stairs, Chaeyoung guided her to the end of the hallway and opened the door, Mina entering after her.

They quickly made their way to the balcony of the room and the two stepped outside, it wasn't a cold night but the slight breeze there was enough to make Chaeyoung's skin crawl a little. 

"Are you cold?" Mina slowly approached from behind "I can come back for something to cover you up."

"No need, just hold me" The Japanese girl rolled her eyes but came up just the same to wrap her arms around the girl's back

"It's a beautiful night." 

Silence enveloped them after that, it was only broken by the calming breaths of the two and Chaeyoung's racing heart 

She had never imagined being able to be in that position, enjoying Mina's presence after spending a fun day with her friends. She didn't want anything to change between them

"You know..." Mina started to say "I had planned to ask you to be my girlfriend today."

Chaeyoung's head instinctively turned so much that she didn't stop to think whether her neck was going to suffer the consequences, she didn't know what to say

Mina never failed to leave her speechless "If I'm honest I think I chickened out."

Chaeyoung took a moment to speak "Why?" she tried to sound casual but the tone of fear didn't go unnoticed by the girl 

"I guess I always figured it would be the most romantic thing in the world. First I'd write you a book full of poems, then I'd invite you to dinner at your favorite place, and we'd spend the night under the stars just you and me" She brushed her nose against Chaeyoung's cheek and Chaeyoung laughed a little.

"Then I would recite to you all the reasons why I am falling in love with you" She turned to look at the sky.

"I guess you're not too far off now" She whispered.

Mina turned Chaeyoung in her arms until they were face to face "Have I ever told you that I love your eyes?" She gently caressed her cheek and leaned closer until their lips brushed against her

"Are you going to get cheesy now?" The little girl teased but narrowed her eyes as she felt Mina's breath on her.

"I like how they shine when you see me."

"I'll make sure they keep shining for you then."

The two had a silly grin on their face "Chaeyoung."

"Yes?"

Mina's hands traveled down Chaeyoung's body, resting momentarily on her waist with a gentle touch, she knew the girl wasn't fragile but she would treat her like the most delicate thing there is

"I think I'm falling in love with you" She says shephesly "And I don't want to do anything to stop it."

The dimple in Chaeyoung's cheek showed and she brought her forehead closer to Mina's, the need to hold her close was almost unbearable now "I think I'm already in love with you, so you don't have to be afraid of anything"

And with their eyes closed, they brought their lips together in a deep but soft kiss, a unique kiss that neither of them was ever going to forget.

Chapter Text

TW: SELF-HARM

When Chaeyoung opened her eyes with a grunt of annoyance she knew she wasn't going to have a good day, first, her body felt heavy and it wasn't exactly because of Mina's weight on her.

Her head was spinning and the alarm was ringing in her ears as if thousands of hammers were hitting her.

Heavily she moved her hand until she found her cell phone, the bright light from the screen made her squint a little and her head ached more

"Minari" she whispered to the girl who was curled up next to her "Minari, you're going to be late."

Chaeyoung gently moved her by the shoulders without getting much response since the girl didn't seem to notice.

"Minari" She moved her again lightly "You have class, you'll be late."

The girl didn't flinch so Chaeyoung had no choice but to leave a kiss on her cheek and get up from the bed. She didn't try to be delicate since she didn't want Mina to oversleep and blame her for not making it to class on time. 

She decided to take a quick shower, but not before grabbing her clothes from the closet to change in the bathroom. 

She took her time since she still had more than an hour to get ready, unlike Mina who apparently had taken her pillow to cuddle with it.

She distracted herself a bit thinking about the night before, if she was honest with herself Mina's confession had made her think of many things, not necessarily bad, there was nothing else she would have wanted to hear from Mina but she wondered if it was the right time to start a relationship with her

Was Mina ready? Chaeyoung knew that everyone had different times to get over grief but she felt they should talk about it before they started anything, it didn't hurt to be cautious. 

A knock on the door distracted her from her thoughts and Mina's sleepy voice caught her attention "Chaengie, are you coming out soon ?"

She peeked through the shower curtain to answer "Yes Minari." 

She didn't get an answer though so she shrugged and decided to hurry up and finish. 

After getting fully dressed and applying some makeup, she stepped out of the bathroom with the towel still stroking her damp hair. She headed for the kitchen where the morning bustle of her friends could already be heard.

As usual Dahyun was already ready, she was serving coffee to a not very awake Momo.

Sana, surprisingly was still lying on the couch only in a more comfortable position than Chaeyoung assumes was Dahyun's doing and Mina was sitting at the kitchen counter, talking animatedly with Dahyun as the latter moved around the place trying to prepare the ingredients for breakfast 

"Good morning." 

The three turned to look at the girl, Dahyun smiled at her and Momo waved her hand acknowledging her presence.

Mina on the other hand gave a little jump to fall to her feet and reached over to hug the girl, whispering a "Good morning" in her ear. 

"Do you want coffee?" Dahyun asked her and the girl nodded. The Korean passed a cup almost immediately to the girl and thanked her 

"How did you sleep?" 

"Like a rock" Momo replied with her body leaning back on the dinning table "Sleeping on the cold floor didn't help my sore muscles much."

Chaeyoung grimaced "Sorry Momoring, I knew trying to carry you to your room wasn't the best option." 

The Japanese woman shook her head "It's okay, I'm lucky I dont have any dance lesson today because I don't think I could survive it." 

"Don't be dramatic, at least you slept lying down" Dahyun spoke "Sana can't even turn her neck to the right" She explained "Maybe she should have been taken to the room"

"I-"

Dahyun raised her hand to stop Chaeyoung "Stop it, I heard it when I said it" Mina's expression was amused 

"Sorry, Minari and I were extremely tired, we barely made it to my room to sleep."

Momo seemed to have somewhat revived since she got up from her chair to slowly approach the cub.

Chaeyoung not knowing what was going on slowly backed up until her back hit the refrigerator and Momo was just inches away from her. The little girl swallowed deeply waiting for the worst.

"Are you sure you only slept last night?" 

Chaeyoung didn't know why she was so nervous to answer "Y-Yes..."

"Really? Because I can see your hickey from here" Dahyun pointed and Chaeyoung could feel her face boil from embarrassment 

Momo turned away from her and looked at her with a surprised face "I knew it!" she said "My balcony door was open!"

At this information Dahyun opened her eyes and with an offended voice shouted "You had sex in Momo's bed?!" 

Chaeyoung and Mina's faces couldn't be redder with shame "No! Of course not!" she deeply denied. 

"I don't believe you, it's your revenge for the time you found Dahyun and Sana!" He pointed 

"Wouldn't it make more sense if we had done it on Dahyun's bed...?" she asked 

"So did you guys do it?!"

"No!" both Mina and Chaeyoung denied. 

"Momoring nothing happened last night!"

"Yeah, we would never do something like that!" Mina said. 

Momo with a cocky expression walked away, not taking her eyes off the girls. 

"So you haven't...?"

The cheeks of the two turned a darker shade of red, Chaeyoung quickly denied without saying anything as Mina hid her face in her hands 

"Wow, I'm sorry for assuming, it's just that the hickey and..." She fell silent 

"Yeah speaking of which, I didn't notice it when I was taking a bath" She raised an 

eyebrow at Mina who was too busy hiding herself 

"You know what? I think it's late, I should go get ready, yeah? Yeah" With a hurried voice she headed up the stairs quickly. 

"She's such a dork" Chaeyoung said with a smiled 

"You're gross" Momo said 

"Shut up"

-

Mina kissed her goodbye since she had to leave quickly for her classes. She had offered to give her a ride but apparently her "friends" would give her a lift. 

Chaeyoung tried not to look upset at the mention of the boys but Mina had assured her that they would see each other at lunch.

She had nothing left to do but finish getting ready, her headache had returned and she had a weird feeling settling in her chest that she couldn't completely let go of.

Once she finished she decided to wait for Dahyun, since the two had classes together and Chaeyoung thought it was not worth spending more time going separately.

Momo and Sana on the other hand would go later since their schedules were different and they both wanted to get some more sleep.

They soon left the apartment and headed to Chaeyoung's car, which they got into in a hurry since they didn't have much time to get to school.

Chaeyoung tried to drive as fast as she could without going over the speed limit but they finally made it to class safely. 

"Every time I get in a car with you I have to pray to God to get here safely " Dahyun told her and the girl rolled her eyes. 

"Oh come on, I don't drive that bad, you need a little action in your life once in a while."

Classes went by quickly after that, she sat next to Tzuyu during biology and Jihyo helped her study for the important exam they had in a week

It was a quiet day and yet the girl's headache wasn't going away at all, Tzuyu seemed to have noticed because she walked up behind her and began massaging her shoulders. 

"Are you feeling okay?" she asked gently. 

"Yeah, I just have a headache" She explained "How long until break? I have to look for Minari"

"Less than 30 minutes" She said "Have you eaten anything yet?" 

The Korean shook her head slightly and Tzuyu walked away "Let's go eat something then"

"But Minari..."

"I'll get you back to her in one piece."

"Fine" She stood up without encouragement. 

"You know what always cheers you up?" The Taiwanese woman asked and Chaeyoung gestured for her to continue "Dumplings."

Chaeyoung sighed and smiled "It's okay fool, let's go."

The school they were going to was a bit big, which meant that apart from the cafeteria there were certain food stalls where they could buy more things, one of those stalls were "Dumplings" which both Tzuyu and Chaeyoung loved.

They didn't eat them often, because they were a bit expensive and because Chaeyoung had the belief that eating them brought them bad luck. First, it was small things, like losing money or a bad coffee stain on their shirt (courtesy of Nayeon).

Then the bigger things started, attention calls, problems in the day in general and Chaeyoung's worst nightmare, a failed exam.

"Don't be dramatic, nothing is going to happen."

"You don't know that Chou Tzu."

"I know, come on, eat. I assure you nothing bad will happen"

"Fine but if anything happens you'll owe me 10,000 won"

"Yeah whatever, eat"

Time passed quickly and almost immediately it was time for lunch, the two girls started walking towards the cafeteria, Chaeyoung was excited to see Mina even though they had spent the morning together 

"I told you nothing was going to happen" Tzuyu told her with a teasing tone. 

"Yeah well, wait a bit Chou Tzu, I'm sure something will happen soon" She said as she looked around the cafeteria to find Mina.

And she found her luckily, she was with the group of guys laughing, Momo and Nayeon were next to her. She approached animatedly when she saw her but stopped walking when she saw how they were heading for the exit.

She snapped out of her trance and jogged a little to catch up with them, Tzuyu following closely behind.

"Minari!" she said and the girl turned around, along with Nayeon and Momo.

"Oh Chaengie" She smiled at her 

"Are you guys going somewhere?"

Nayeon nodded "We'll go out for a bit, don't worry, I'll take care of them" She told her with a smile to calm her down 

"Mina?" she turned to look at the girl. 

"Oh yeah, the guys kinda wanted to go to a place nearby and we really want to go" She explained "We'll be back before the next class, don't worry" 

"Oh well, I'll see you later then...-" The girl didn't seem to finish listening to her since she had already started walking after the boys, She stood with a startled expression and Nayeon put a hand on her shoulder as a sign of support. 

"I'll take care of her" Chaeyoung nodded and watched them leave but the uneasy feeling stayed with her, her intuition told her to follow Mina, to go after her and ask her not to leave but her logical part told her that she couldn't barge in on Mina's time with her friends.

She decided to leave it and headed with Tzuyu to the library, where not so surprisingly they met Jihyo and Jeongyeon.  Lisa joined them not long after 

They quickly got into a very lively conversation, about boats and unicorns to which Chaeyoung wasn't paying much attention since Nayeon was texting her updates about the girls' situation 

Nayeonnie :)

Mina and Momo are fine, they have been drinking a little bit. 

Chaengie 

Careful, Mina hasn't had breakfast, can you make sure she eats something?

Nayeonnie :)

Got it captain :DDDDD

Chaeyoung rolled her eyes at the girl's message but managed to relax a bit and tried to pay attention to the girls' debate, which was apparently getting tough 

Nayeonnie :)

Your girl says she sends you these flowers 

Chaeyoung smiled openly at the message and even more when she saw the picture Nayeon had sent her, it was a picture of Mina smiling towards the camera with some flowers in her hands.

Chaeyoung's heart ached with tenderness. 

Chaengie

Tell her she's cute

Nayeonnie :)

Gross

She smiled even more and put the cell phone aside, focusing completely on the girls. 

She thinks that at some point she must have lost the cell phone since after she stopped fighting with Jeongyeon about a topic she doesn't remember, Tzuyu approached her with her cell phone in hand and gave it to her 

"Nayeonnie says you need to answer it."

The girl rolled her eyes but still turned on her cell phone and opened the messages 

Nayeonnie :)

Hey, Minari is drunk lmao 

Nayeonnie :)

It's kind of funny to see her dance 

Nayeonnie :)

Momo is also a little bit drunk 

Nayeonnie :)

We plan to be back soon, come get your girl lol ????? 

Nayeonnie :)

Chaengie  

Nayeonnie :)

Why don't you answer the messages? Did you fall asleep? 

The girl rolled her eyes at her best friend's silly messages. 

Nayeonnie :)

Chaeyoung  

Nayeonnie :)

Where are you?

Nayeonnie :)

Chaengie, are you still with Tzuyu?

Chaengie 

What's up lol? Momo threw up?

Nayeonnie :)

Are you with Tzuyu?

Chaengie 

Yes, what's up? Are you coming back? How is Minari? 

Don't let her have too much lmao 

Nayeonnie :)

Chaengie

Chaengie 

What's up Nayeonnie?

Nayeonnie :)

I'm so sorry 

Chaengie

Are you drunk too Nayeonnie? Come back TT

Nayeonnie :)

Chaengie, I don't know how to tell you this 

Chaengie

Eh? Nayeonnie, what's wrong? 

Are you ok? Do you need me to come get you? 

Nayeonnie :)

Mina just kissed Irene 

Chaeyoung's world stopped at that moment. The words on the phone screen were blurred by the tears that began to well up in her eyes.

Her breath cut painfully short in her throat, she made a weird noise. As if she couldn't breathe.

 She looked around, seeing her friends worried by her sudden change in expression. Unable to articulate a word, Chaeyoung extended the phone toward them, allowing them to read the message for themselves.

The room was filled with tense silence as Chaeyoung's friends processed. Jeongyeon was the first to snap out of it, placing a comforting hand on Chaeyoung's shoulder as she quietly told her to breathe. Jihyo and Lisa exchanged looks of utter disbelief, while Tzuyu clenched her fists in restrained rage.

Chaeyoung's pain was tangible. She felt betrayed, as if her world had collapsed around her. Every single word she shared with Mina now seemed like a cruel lie. The pain in her chest was so intense that it was hard to breathe. She shakily rose from her seat, dropping the phone, and pushed away from the table, feeling her heart break into a thousand pieces.

Tears ran freely down her face as she walked across the library. The sound of her sobs echoed in the silence, drawing curious glances from other students. Chaeyoung finally left the library, aimlessly, with the pain of Mina's betrayal burning inside her.

Chaeyoung walked aimlessly around the campus, feeling as if she was in a fever dream. Every step was an effort, as if she was carrying the weight of the whole world on her shoulders. The pain in her chest was sharp, as if a knife was piercing her heart over and over again.

Nayeon's words echoed in her mind, repeating over and over again. 

Chaeyoung stopped dead in her tracks, feeling the tears welling up again. She leaned against a nearby tree, trying to hold back her sobs. She felt betrayed, humiliated and broken. She had trusted Mina with her heart, so many times now, believing her love to be sincere, only to be betrayed in the cruelest way.

Lisa's mocking voice invaded her mind "Don't come crying to me if she does something else to you, I don't care."

Her heart squeezed even more inside her chest, they had been right. Of course they had been right 

Tzuyu, concerned for Chaeyoung, left the library in search of her friend. As she turned a corner, she saw Chaeyoung leaning against a tree, sobbing inconsolably. She ran to her and knelt down beside her, putting an arm around her shoulders in a gesture of comfort.

Chaeyoung clung to Tzuyu, letting her tears flow freely. She felt grateful for the Taiwanese woman. Together they sat in silence, sharing the weight of the pain Chaeyoung carried in her broken heart.

"Nayeonnie is looking for you" She said suddenly "They just came back" The girl did not speak "What do you want me to do?"

"I don't know," Chaeyoung said, her voice cracking with tears. "I feel like my world is falling apart but if it's bad I can't leave her alone..."

Tzuyu looked at her sympathetically and asked gently, "Do you want to go get her?"

The girl nodded and took a moment to stand up still with tears in her eyes "I just need to know she's okay."

The Taiwanese nodded empathetically and helped her walk to where Nayeon had told her they were meeting  

When they arrived, Chaeyoung immediately noticed that Mina was visibly drunk, her eyes glassy and her countenance disheveled.

Tzuyu approached Nayeon with a worried face. Nayeon replied with concern that Mina had been drinking heavily and seemed to be taking a hard time. Chaeyoung felt a pinch of pain in her heart upon hearing this, despite the betrayal she had suffered.

"Chaengieeeee" Mina said suddenly, slurring her words "You're so cute" She went over to hug her but Chaeyoung was faster than her grabbing her arms to stop her

"Mina, you're drunk. Let me take you to the bathroom to clean you up, yes?" 

Nayeon was the first to speak "Chaengie I don't think that's the most ideal" She tried to pull Mina towards her but the girl just tightened her grip. 

"I don't want to leave her alone now"

Nayeon insisted "Chaeng, are you sure it's a good idea for you to take care of her?" she moved closer "You don't look well, and I know you're not feeling well, please"

The girl refused, Chaeyoung, despite the pain and betrayal she felt, couldn't help but worry about Mina's well-being, what kind of person would she be if she left her on her own? 

 Carefully, she helped Mina walk and took her to the bathroom to wash her face and freshen up.

Mina, visibly affected by the alcohol, kept mumbling apologies and compliments towards Chaeyoung. Chaeyoung, with the patience of an angel, helped her clean herself and regain some composure.

Mina, still staring blankly, began to babble an incoherent explanation, blaming the pressure and confusion in her life. Chaeyoung listened to her silently, feeling a mixture of pity and disappointment.

"Mina, please. Stop moving" She pleaded with a broken voice, it was getting harder and harder not to cry in front of her "Stop moving, I'm trying to take care of you, okay?"

"Chaengieeee" 

"Mina please, you stink of alcohol, someone is going to notice and we are going to be in trouble."

"I'm fine chaengiee" She slurred the words and Chaeyoung looked down.

"No you're not!" She exclaimed with anger but stopped when she saw Mina's pained expression, she sighed "Whatever, I can't go through with this" She pulled away and threw away the wet cloth she was using to clean Mina, she leaned back on the sink and tears started to come out 

"What's wrong Chaengie?" Mina tried to walk to her but failed in the attempt, stumbling, the cub was quick to try and grab her in her arms, more tears streaming down her cheeks. 

Her heart ached even more as she recognized that Mina had no acknowledgement of what she did, a painful sob escaped from between her lips and she unconsciously tightened her grip around Mina's shoulders.

The girl stood there, unable to pull away, Chaeyoung supposed. 

"I'll leave you with Lisa and Tzuyu" She said with the girl still in her arms "I can't take care of you anymore but I don't want to leave you alone either" She explained with a little effort, mostly because she doubted that Mina would understand what she was saying.

She dragged Mina in her arms, tried to pass by the most discreet places, where she knew that there was no teacher, Chaeyoung didn't need her day to get worse.  

Seeing Lisa's worried expression and the anger that was evident in Tzuyu when she saw Mina, she felt a little bit overwhelmed.

"I can't take care of her anymore" She admitted "I need Nayeonnie, can you take care of it?"

Lisa nodded quickly, she was surprised that she hadn't said anything until now but she was deeply grateful, Tzuyu doubted it more but after the begging look Chaeyoung gave her she had no choice but to accept reluctantly 

"Thank you" She muttered and ran away. 

She didn't know where the girl was, and she didn't have her cell phone with her since she had left it lying somewhere in the library. She couldn't care less, all she needed was to find Nayeon.

Her mind was frantic, she couldn't think clearly and her vision was blurring more and more.

Finally she found her, she was sitting on a bench with momo lying next to her, she seemed to be in bad shape too but Chaeyoung would find another time to worry about her. 

Nayeon noticed her in an instant, she stopped stroking momo's head momentarily and in the blink of an eye she was already in front of Chaeyoung, throwing her arms around her neck and pulling her close to her chest where the little girl hid. 

Chaeyoung clung to Nayeon, feeling the world around her crumbling. Her heart was pounding wildly and her breathing became agitated. The sense of loss overwhelmed her, and Nayeon's comforting embrace was the only thing that seemed to keep her afloat.

Nayeon held her tightly, whispering words of comfort and love in her ear. Chaeyoung tried to control the flood of emotions that swept over her, but it was as if everything was overflowing inside her.

"Chaeyoung, breathe" She whispered to her. 

Momo, seemed momentarily brought back to life at the sight of Chaeyoung's distress and she slowly approached and snuggled next to her, trying to convey her support and calmness. Together, Nayeon and Momo surrounded Chaeyoung with caution.

Chaeyoung felt caught in a spiral of overwhelming emotions. Despite Nayeon and Momo's attempts to comfort her, Chaeyoung felt lost in a sea of dark and painful thoughts.

Her breathing became ragged, her chest tightened and tears began to flow uncontrollably. A sense of panic swept over her completely, as if the world was closing in around her. Nayeon hugged her tighter, trying to contain the emotional gale raging inside Chaeyoung.

"Chaeng" She took her face in her hands to make the girl look into her eyes "You need to breathe, yes sweetie?" The girl's eyes averted and Nayeon immediately drew her gaze to her again " Look at me." 

Momo, always aware of Chaeyoung's emotions, gently stroked her arm, trying to comfort her the best way she could. 

"Breathe for me, yes chaengie?" she urged her and the girl nodded weakly, trying to concentrate on the girl's eyes.

Gradually, the storm inside Chaeyoung began to calm down. Nayeon's tender embrace and Momo's comforting presence gave her the strength to breathe deeper, Nayeon's grip on her face never ceased but the girl was grateful for it since it helped her to concentrate on one thing at a time.

Her breathing became more regular and the tears stopped. Still trembling, she slowly pulled away from Nayeon's embrace and looked into her eyes, finding in them a haven of love and understanding.

As calm began to return, Chaeyoung felt exhausted, as if she had gone through an emotional storm. She pulled away from Nayeon and Momo slightly, seeking fresh air to regain her composure. Nayeon's words echoed in her mind, triggering a mixture of anger, sadness and confusion.

Nayeon watched her with concern, wishing she could erase her friend's pain with a simple hug. She knew she could not change what had happened, but she was determined to make Chaeyoung fell better 

After a few minutes, Chaeyoung turned to Nayeon and Momo, with tears still running through her cheeks 

She looked so small, so weak and Nayeon didn't like it at all. Her eyes were puffy and red, big bags had formed under them, her lips were still trembling slightly as were her hands. 

"Chaeng" Momo called out to her and rested her eyes on hers "I'm so sorry, Chaeng."

Chaeyoung wrapped Momo in a comforting embrace, feeling the need to comfort her despite her own pain. They both stayed like that, hugging each other.

"Why are you apologizing to me, dummy?" she said through her tears. 

Momo with her voice breaking from crying spoke as best she could "I didn't mean for things to turn out like this, I didn't mean to cause you so much pain."

Chaeyoung felt a lump in her throat as she saw the remorse in Momo's eyes. Despite her own suffering, she couldn't help but feel sympathy for her friend, who was also suffering.

"It's okay, Momo," Chaeyoung replied in a soft voice, though she also felt torn up inside. "You didn't know something like this was going to happen, it's not your responsibility to admit guilt for something you didn't do."

Momo stayed in Chaeyoung's arms, feeling a great relief to hear those words of understanding. They both hugged each other tightly

Then suddenly, three silhouettes were seen in the distance and Chaeyoung could recognize Irene among them, her mind went blank and Chaeyoung looked at her with hatred, the pain quickly turned into rage.

Next to her came three tall boys that Chaeyoung recognized as Mina's friends.

Irene slowly approached Chaeyoung with eyes full of regret and sadness.

Chaeyoung looked at her with loathing, she didn't want to be near her.

She didn't want her to come close to bragging about what she had done. 

Once she was close enough to the girl, she spoke "Chaeyoung, I'm so sorry," Irene said in a trembling voice. "I know you must hate me and I understand if you do but I didn't want to leave without telling you what happened before."

Chaeyoung felt a sharp pain in her chest as she heard Irene's words. She said nothing though and the girl took it as a sign to keep talking "Mina kissed me." 

Her eyes started to fill with tears again "We started drinking, and I guess she's not used to alcohol because she got messed up really fast. We were talking when she suddenly asked me if she could kiss me."

Chaeyoung folded her arms, waiting for the brag of excuses Irene was going to say to justify what she had done, however, these never came "I told her no, I'm not that kind of person and Seulgi would kill me before even thinking about it." 

Chaeyoung's heart stopped, Seulgi, Irene's girlfriend. 

"She got really pushy with me" She said sheepishly "Nayeon tried to take her away from me, I tried to convince her to leave me, because, she had you" She looked at her again "I guess I should have refused more but when Nayeon got distracted by Jin, she grabbed me and kissed me"

Chaeyoung's hatred for the girl soon began to turn to regret "I pulled away quickly!" She exclaimed

"I walked away and pushed her, after that she just threw herself on the floor laughing" She explained with a guilty look on her face "I understand if you hate me, your girlfriend practically cheated on you with me and I couldn't feel more like shit about it."

The puppy was tired, it had been such an emotionally draining day for her, and it was barely 12 am.

She sighed, trying to find the right words for the pleading girl in front of her. Nayeon hadn't told her the whole story, her mind went to the first option, that it had all been mutual, and that maybe Mina hadn't been the one to start it all.

"I don't hate you, Irene," Chaeyoung said in a firm voice. "I'm very sorry that Mina bothered you like that, and I hope she didn't hurt you. I appreciate you telling me and coming to apologize." 

"Chaeyoung..." Momo wanted to interject 

"I hope it didn't cause you any trouble with Seulgi, I would hate for Mina to break another relationship today" She tried to joke but she could tell it didn't come out so well and grimaced "You shouldn't be the one apologizing to me today"

"I really feel bad about what happened."

Chaeyoung quickly denied "No, you were very clear when you talked to Mina and she decided to go against your wishes, the fault is hers and hers alone. Thank you for reaching out and sorry for Mina."

The eldest, Jin, was the next to approach her, expressing his sincere sympathy for what had happened. He was followed by Tae and Namjoon, who almost knelt on the ground to apologize to the girl. The cub quickly made them stand up, assuring them that it was not necessary. 

She knew they hadn't been at fault beyond providing the alcohol, still, Chaeyoung knew she couldn't blame them since no one had forced Mina to drink, she decided on her own.

They were not so bad after all.

Chaeyoung forgave them all with a broken heart, they left quickly after that and Chaeyoung was left alone again with Nayeon and Momo.

"I want to go home," Chaeyoung said in a trembling voice.

Nayeon nodded sadly, understanding Chaeyoung's need to be alone. Together, they headed for the apartment. When they arrived, Chaeyoung thanked Nayeon for being by her side, but insisted that she needed to be alone.

"Please take care of Momo," Chaeyoung asked Nayeon as she climbed the stairs to her room.

Nayeon agreed, without saying more, she knew the girl was tired, and stayed with Momo in the living room while Chaeyoung retreated to her room. Once inside, Chaeyoung locked herself in the bathroom and let out the pain she had been suppressing.

Tears flowed freely as she leaned back against the sink. The pain and betrayal came out in silent sobs as Chaeyoung let out all the emotions she had been holding back.

She then sat on the edge of the tub, feeling the coldness of the tile against her skin. Tears were still welling up, but they were no longer sobs, but a silent, exhausted cry. Her mind was filled with dark and painful thoughts, and the idea of hurting herself began to take shape in her mind.

Why did this happen to me? 

What did I do to deserve this?

What Irene had told her replayed in her mind, Mina had kissed her, not the other way around.

Mina had started it all, Mina had decided she didn't care about Chaeyoung. 

I told you she would never choose you, Son Chaeyoung 

Her thoughts wouldn't shut up, her head hurt like it had never hurt before and unconsciously her finger nails began to bury themselves in her palms, drawing painful crescents on them.

She fell to the floor, her head in her hands and silent sobs escaping her lips. 

She felt alone, used. 

Dirty

She felt dirty 

She wanted the pain to stop, everything to stop.

She wanted Mina to feel the same way she was feeling. 

She couldn't take it anymore

She got up on shaky knees, heading to the bathroom cabinet, carefully pulling out an old box that was hidden behind the numerous Dahyun products, a box that would go unnoticed by the girls.

She opened it and took out the razor with determined but trembling hands, she wanted the pain to stop for now.

She sat on the edge of the tub again, pulling her pants down so that they were level with her ankles and took the artifact between her fingers.

She held it against the skin of her thigh, the coldness of the metal making her grimace involuntarily. 

She made a quick movement, from right to left. She closed her eyes as the burning of the wound enveloped her, her thoughts momentarily ceased to haunt her.

She made another move, and then another, and another. Until her thigh was covered with 8 large horizontal wounds.

She took a deep breath, the object slipped from between her fingers and the tears began to flow again.

She dropped to the floor, her back against the tub.

She wanted to scream at Nayeon, she wanted her to come and hug her, she wanted to talk to Tzuyu, she wanted them to hold her as she fell to shreds but she couldn't let them do it.

Not after what she had just done 

Her thigh stung, it burned almost, blood had begun to slide down until it stained the floor a crimson red but Chaeyoung couldn't care less.

She lay there, her head buried in hands and the worst chest pain she'd felt for a while

She was lost

Chapter Text

Chaeyoung woke up on the cold bathroom floor, with soft knocks coming from the door, Nayeon's sweet voice could be heard from outside asking her if she was alright. 

It took her a while to fully regain consciousness, her head ached and her vision was blurred. She got up slowly, resting her hands on the cold floor, she felt dizzy and Nayeon's voice sounded far away.

She managed to sit up after what seemed like an eternity, her vision slowly came into focus and she inhaled a big gulp of air when she saw the color that adorned her hands. 

She frantically turned around to find the floor wreathed in crimson, the pain of her wounds reminded her of what had happened earlier. 

"Chaeng?" Nayeon's voice through the door drew her completely back to life "Are you okay?" The knocking on the door became more insistent and soon the handle began to turn

Chaeyoung panicked, trying to find a towel to clean up the mess 

"Chaeyoung" Nayeon called out to her. 

"Don't come in!" Chaeyoung's voice was rough and she grimaced when she heard it "Everything's okay." 

"Are you sure? I've been trying to talk to you for like 30 minutes."

"I fell asleep" She said as she frantically looked around the bathroom for something to clean everything "Mmm I'm going to take a shower, is Momo better?" 

She quickly took off her shirt and started wiping the floor with it, spreading more color in the process, her mind went into more panic.

"Yes, she's better. She ate and fell asleep on the couch, Tzuyu is here with Dahyun and Sana" She explained. 

"Okay! Excellent, I'll take a quick shower and go over there." 

"Okay, hurry up" She heard the footsteps moving away from the bathroom door and sighed in relief.

She ran her hands over her face, brushing away the hair that had stuck to her face from the sweat, staining her face with the blood that was there. She silently groaned at the mess and took a deep breath to try to calm her nerves. 

She delicately removed her clothes, making a pained noise as the underwear fabric rippled the wounds on her thigh.

She took a bag from the cabinet and delicately stuffed the stained clothes in there, she knew there was no way the clothes would be recovered so she would throw them away when the girls didn't notice. 

She then took the roll of paper and wiped the floor as quickly as she could, making sure she didn't leave any stains on the surface. 

She put the same stained paper into the bag with the clothes and then got into the shower. 

The warm water that fell on her body made her make a noise of relief, her muscles relaxed at once, she made sure to clean the wound well when it was time to clean her legs, she didn't want it to get infected, it would be worse.

When she got out of the shower she made sure everything was clean and in order, she sneaked out of the bathroom so as not to attract the attention of the girls and made her way to her room.

She pulled out a tank top from her closet, followed by a pair of baggy pants. She quickly put on her clothes, glancing in the mirror slightly before leaving the room, her face was puffy around her eyes, which were red from crying. Beneath them, dark circles were visible, her skin was pale, almost gray.

She looked like a dead man and the constant burning in her body didn't help much.

Finally she got up the courage and left the room, she heard the distant laughter of Dahyun and Momo, who she guessed was already feeling better since when she came all the way down she could see her sitting on the kitchen stool next to a very giggly Sana. 

"Hello" She said loudly, everyone's gazes landed on her.

Sana practically jumped up from where she was sitting to perch in Chaeyoung's arms, who had anticipated her move and already had her arms open for the girl. Sana wrapped her arms tightly around her, almost knocking the air out of her lungs.

"Chaengie" She said to her in a sweet voice "How are you? Are you feeling better?" 

"You look like shit" Jeongyeon's voice spoke, apparently she had arrived while Chaeyoung was taking a shower. 

"Thank you Jeong" She spoke from Sana's arms.

"Always a pleasure" She told her approaching her as well to wrap her arms around her, Sana staying in the middle of the two in a sandwich. 

"Wow, ladies. As much as I love the view, I don't think it's ideal to start a threesome at this time of the night" Dahyun spoke and the girls broke apart with a grunt, Nayeon was the only one who laughed 

"Save it Dahyun" Jeongyeon said with fake annoyance "We all know that if it happens it would be between Sana, Jihyo and me." 

"What?!" Tzuyu asked in utter panic. 

"That's enough ladies" Nayeon spoke, “we're not here for these two to start fighting" She pointed at Jeongyeon and Tzuyu "Besides we all know that Jihyo would never accept something like that, she's a prude" She said as if she was stating a fact.

"Oh please, Jihyo is anything but...-" Jeongyeon gradually went silent as Nayeon shot her a poisonous look which worked since Jeongyeon made a scared face and lowered her gaze.

Nayeon turned to look at Chaeyoung, her gaze quickly softened "Chaengie."

"What is all this, Nayeonnie?" she asked as her vision settled on the bags full of things on the table. 

"We know what happened" Jeongyeon spoke gently "We knew you needed time to yourself."

"But it was long enough, Nayeon unnie said you've been locked in the bathroom for almost 3 hours" Dahyun pouted at her "So now it's time for you to spend time with us" She explained as she took out the soju bottles from the bags

"Jihyo unnie will be here soon" The Taiwanese girl explained "She's going over some student council business and Lisa is on her way" The girl was a little surprised to hear the girl's name

"Yes and as soon as they arrive you can cry, drink and whine all you want" Jeongyeon told her with a smile.

Chaeyoung was perplexed, her eyes filled with tears again but they didn't come out "You didn't have to do this". 

Nayeon wrapped her arm around the girl's shoulders "We wouldn't be your best friends otherwise." 

"We all understand that this is a sensitive subject and that you're hurt. We don't want you to hold anything back" Sana explained "We want to be there for you."

The words really got through to Chaeyoung as she could no longer fight back the tears that threatened to spill out of her eyes and a couple of them fell down her cheeks. 

"Thank you girls" She whispered and they all moved closer in a kind of group hug.

They stood there, silent as Chaeyoung cried a little and even Nayeon had to wipe away a couple of her own tears.

The silence was slightly broken when a hurried Jihyo arrived hand in hand with a very amazed Lisa, who in turn had an open bottle of wine in her hand "Okay fuckers, who's ready to party?!" Jihyo shouted, taking the bottle from Lisa's hand and giving her a big sip.

"It's been like this all the way, I had to drive myself and God knows I'm not the best at it" Lisa explained with a distressed face. 

"The important thing is that you made it" Sana laughed loudly when she saw the girl's state.  

"Jeongyie kiss me" Jihyo tried to get dangerously close to Jeongyeon while the taller girl tried to pull her off of her, Nayeon looked at them with a smirking expression while holding the phone, Chaeyoung guessed that she was recording the moment 

Tzuyu on the other hand had an unreadable expression and Chaeyoung knew immediately that the girl was jealous.

"Easy chou tzu" The cub approached her. 

"Is she always like this when she's drunk?" she asked. 

"Jihyo unnie is a very affectionate person when she's drunk. One time she tried to kiss Sana unnie, Dahyun hit her so hard she fell off the table she was on and ended up with a trip to the hospital" She explained with a chuckle as she watched them, Tzuyu was horrified

"Everything turned out fine!" She assured her "Jihyo never took it the wrong way and Dahyunnie was also very drunk, it caused us a good laugh afterwards."

They saw how Nayeon had now put down the cell phone to take her mission to get Jihyo away from Jeongyeon more seriously since she had a more severe expression on her face.

"I'd like to think she does it because she loves us" She laughed "She's never really kissed us, well, just Momo" She grimaced "It was a very intense game of spin the bottle, but she only does it to tease. Especially Nayeon, it's funny."

"Why are you explaining all this to me?"

"Because you're clearly jealous."

"I wasn't-"

"Save it Chewy, of course you were" Dahyun interjected, none of the girls noticed when she approached.

"Whatever, I need a drink" She left with flushed cheeks and Chaeyoung and Dahyun just stood there laughing. 

"Chaeng" The Thai girl spoke, she approached with an expression Chaeyoung couldn't understand.

"Lisa." 

The girl didn't say anything else, she wrapped her arms around her in a tight hug and the girl reciprocated "I'm sorry"

"It's ok" She whispered from her shoulder, Lisa could only tighten her hug more. 

"Hey losers, are you going to stand there being bored all night?" Jihyo approached and Chaeyoung made a face when she smelled the girl. 

"Jihyo unnie, how much have you had?"

"Much more than you" She said and handed her a cup with what the cub assumed was wine "Come on chaeng, it's your night."

Things moved fast after that, Chaeyoung wasn't much of a drinker, she didn't like the taste or the smell but she liked how it made her feel, she liked that it made her forget and that was all she needed today, to forget.

She started drinking with Dahyun, who was already way ahead of her. Soon her vision began to blur and the pain was long gone. 

Jihyo at some point pulled out a karaoke machine from somewhere as she was in the living room singing a song that the girl didn't recognize, Tzuyu who hadn't been drinking as much as the others was sitting across from Jihyo with an amazed expression on her face. 

Nayeon in turn was sitting on the couch with Jeongyeon beside her, neither of them were much of a drinker unlike the others so they chose to enjoy the show that Jihyo and Momo were putting on, who even though she hadn't been drinking because her body could only take so much, was singing along with Jihyo. 

"Are you having a good time chaengie?" a drunk sana came up to her slurring her words.

"Better than your girlfriend definitely" She pointed to Dahyun lying on the ground, Lisa had approached her to make sure she was okay.

"Dahyunnie will be fine, Lili will take care of her" She made a gesture "I'm worried about you" 

"Sana I love you very much but I don't think it's best to talk about this while you're this drunk." She explained, taking the cup in the girl's hand "No more of this for you."

Sana pouted but it was quickly replaced with a smile, leaning her face on the girl's shoulder " I'm so sorry for what happened." 

Chaeyoung's drunken mind didn't allow her to feel bad but the flip her heart after being reminded about the situation drew her back "It doesn't matter anymore"

Sana's cackle didn't take long to be heard, it even caught Lisa's attention who just gave them a weird look "You're going to break up with her?"

"I can't finish something that didn't even start, can I?" she took a sip from her glass and made a grimace as she felt the burn 

"What are you planning to do then? Talk to her?" 

"I don't think I can talk to her without telling her something I'm going to regret, at least for now" She explained "I know it's a bit ridiculous..." She began 

"Why?"

"Despite what she did to me I can't help but want to be with her" She looked down slightly as Sana stared at her "I know you all were left with a bad impression, even you despite the fact that Minari was friends with Momo and you first" 

She took a moment to look at the girls in front of her "I just wish things would have worked out without all the bad things that happened." 

"Mitang is not a bad person" Sana paused and continued "But I want you to know that I don't agree with anything she did to you, even if she is my friend.”

“Sana” 

“Hmm?”

"How did you know you were in love with Dahyun?"

Sana took her time to answer, but not because she had to think about it "There was one time when, I had a bad day" She began "We had just started to get to know each other, thanks to Jeongyeon at a party. I remember the day before she asked me out on a date." 

"I always thought that it was you who had made the first move."

Sana smiled sweetly "Dahyunnie hates it when people know she's corny. Anyway, I remember that day was one of the worst I've ever been through, my dad..." Chaeyoung put a hand on her arm in comfort "Anyway, I called her to tell her that I wasn't going to be able to make it, I was tired and just wanted to cry. Dahyun showed up at my door half an hour later, with my favorite food and a couple of movies" She smiled at the memory "Apparently she asked for Momo unnie's help to find out where I lived and what I liked, she said no one should go through a rough patch alone, no matter what."

"Wow, I didn't know Dahyun had that soft side."

"It was really sweet, I started crying as soon as I saw her" She laughed. “She freaked out when she thought she did something wrong, then I assured her no, that I was happy she was there. I know maybe it was soon but it was at that moment that I knew things would be okay if Dahyunnie was there."

Sana looked at Dahyun, who was already feeling better and gave her a smile that the Korean girl returned. "Dubu was right, you didn't have to go through that alone" Chaeyoung tightened her grip on her arm.

"Are you in love, Chaengie?"

"I don't know if it's right that I am" She winced "But even now, once the pain settled and turned into something else, I can't help but think that I'd rather she held me until I couldn't take it anymore even if it meant breaking my heart again." 

"I didn't know you could be so poetic Chaeng?" She joked weakly 

"Alcohol makes me like this" She said 

"I'm not going to tell you it's wrong, we can't control how we feel about people who hurt us, love is like that; weird " She started "And I'm not going to tell you what to do either because I think we already got too much into your life. I just want you to be happy with the person who treats you the way you deserve, like you're their whole world."

"It's all complicated, isn't it?" Chaeyoung spoke, the talk was sobering her up "If I'm honest there's a part of me that wants to forgive her" She fixed her gaze on her hands. 

"I think you already did" Sana said with a slight smile that Chaeyoung couldn't decipher since Dahyun walked towards them before the cub could say anything. 

"Hello, beautiful" The girl slurred the words "You have a girlfriend?" Sana held her close to her and laughed. 

"Yes, dubu, I have a girlfriend" She explained delicately to her 

"Oh fuck" She whispered and leaned back against the Japanese girl's chest, falling asleep instantly.

"Well, it's my cue to take care of this big baby" She started walking with dahyun in her arms "Rest, chaengie."

After Dahyun and Sana left, the night calmed down a bit, Jeongyeon and Nayeon who were the most sober were in charge of taking everyone to their rooms.

Sana Dahyun and Momo in the Korean girl's room. Jihyo was dragged by Jeongyeon to Momo's room, where they would stay with Nayeon and Chaeyoung went with Tzuyu and Lisa to hers.

"ugh I'm dead" Lisa said, throwing herself on the bed "Chaeng can I borrow some clothes?"

"Sure, grab a couple of things from the closet" She said heading to her vanity. 

"I'll go to the bathroom, I need to take a shower" The Taiwanese said and the other girls agreed. 

They were left alone in a comforting silence, Lisa slowly got up to the closet to take some clothes, Chaeyoung didn't take any importance, she was distracted with her cell phone. 

"Chaeyoung" Lisa called her with a serious voice, the girl didn't turn to look at her.

"What's wrong?" The girl asked "Have you found something to wear yet? I know I'm a little short compared to you so just pick a pair of shorts" Finally she turned to look at her and her breath caught in her throat as she saw her holding a very familiar bag in her hands. 

"Chaeyoung" She turned to see her "What is this?" 

"Lisa, I-"

"These are the clothes you were wearing a while ago" Lisa took the stained clothes out of the bag "Why are they like this?"

"Lisa, put that away, ok?" She urged her "I can explain"

"I'm waiting" She said "Tell me why there's a bag in your room with clothes and papers full of blood" 

Chaeyoung had started to cry from where she was and Lisa dropped the bag on the floor, approaching the girl "Chaeyoung"

She held her by the shoulders, watching her  "Take your pants off" 

"Lisa" Chaeyoung tried to argue but she knew the girl wasn't going to stop. 

"Take it off" The girl obeyed slowly, taking her time.

The pants fell to the floor delicately and Chaeyoung closed her eyes so she wouldn't have to see Lisa's reaction, but it didn't help because the gasp she let out was enough for the girl to start crying louder. 

A pair of arms slowly wrapped around her, Chaeyoung let herself be held by the girl.

"It's ok" Lisa whispered over and over again "It's going to be ok". 

"Please don't say anything Lisa. No one can know what's going on, especially Nayeon. Please" She begged between sobs and Lisa squeezed her more against her body. 

"Don't worry" She said "Everything is going to be ok".

"Tzuyu will be back any minute" She cried "I don't want her to notice" 

Lisa nodded sympathetically and walked away, "I'll go get a glass of water for you, you look terrible" She took the bag again and put the things she had taken out of it, putting it delicately into the closet "Put on something to cover that before Tzuyu comes back and try to compose yourself"

Chaeyoung nodded, wiping her face with her hands. Lisa looked at her for a second before starting to walk out of the room, Chaeyoung's hands stopped her "Thank you" she whispered. 

"We'll talk about this later, alone" She said and walked out of the room.

Leaving Chaeyoung alone and with a growing sense of guilt. 

You’re fucked Chaeyoung

Chapter Text

It had been exactly a week since she had seen Mina, it wasn't on purpose, at least that's how she felt. Momo had informed her that the girl had decided to take some time off school to compose herself after losing control like that.

Mina had written her a long message, explaining that she was fine and that she would return to school when things calmed down, the girl replied, more excited than she should be.

Then Mina stopped answering and Chaeyoung had to resist the temptation to spam the girl with messages to find out how she was doing. 

The cub knew that Mina knew what had happened, after all it seemed that her memory was not affected by all the alcohol she consumed and that caused Chaeyoung to go through an internal war about what she should do.

The girls had refrained from commenting on the situation, after the chaotic night at the three girls' house, Chaeyoung had cried in her friends' arms for hours, but they said nothing. Except, of course, for Lisa.

And as much as it seemed that the logical thing to do was to end everything she had with Mina, she didn't know why the thought of no longer having the girl with her made her heart ache.

There was a logical part in her that made her think that it wasn't worth fighting so much for a person that clearly didn't want to be saved, that Chaeyoung had already humiliated herself enough to keep on insisting.

And there was another part that Chaeyoung was beginning to hate a little more every day, the part that wanted to find excuses to justify the girl's actions, and she had found too many, her favorite being that Mina didn't know what she was doing and that since they weren't official she didn't have the right to be jealous.

It was a stupid excuse because Chaeyoung knew that if she did something similar, Mina would have exploded with jealousy, but for a while, especially on sleepless nights, it was the only thing that left her at ease.

But apart from Mina, there was something else that was disturbing her on a daily basis, Lisa.

If it wasn't for the fact that something changed inside her overnight, after the night at her house the girl had become aggressive with her, almost full of rage, which confused her a lot since she seemed to behave normally with the other girls but not with her.

She had tried to talk to her but Lisa always deflected her attempts to engage in a more than friendly conversation with her, choosing to ignore her or cut her off before she could say anything, eventually she gave up. Which she didn't know if it comforted her more or just made her worse, after Lisa's discovery she was on the verge. 

Today however, she was jittery. Almost on the verge of throwing up from anxiety.

Mina had written, it was a simple "we need to talk" that caused the little girl's world to spin for a big 15 minutes.

She took her time to reply, trying to think of the best answer for that message, she ended up choosing to send a simple "okay, tell me when" which made her grunt at the simplicity, but she reminded herself that she shouldn't be so easy to convince, if she wanted Mina to respect her, she needed to set boundaries, she was the one who was hurt, not Mina.

Fortunately the girl didn't seem to be bothered by the dry answer since she only replied with the day and time, today.

It was the first time Chaeyoung had seen her since all hell broke loose and she didn't know why she was so nervous to see her.

She spent her first few classes being a nervous wreck, Dahyun almost had to slap her so she could concentrate, luckily Tzuyu avoided it.

Finally the bell rang and Chaeyoung's body started to sweat involuntarily, she left the classroom, with Dahyun and Tzuyu following her, Lisa joined them spontaneously, she seemed to be in a good mood since she took the time to greet Chaeyoung with a chaste kiss on her hair.

Chaeyoung didn't say anything, she was too nervous to do it. 

"Guys, I'll do it" She announced when they arrived at the cafeteria, the three girls' heads puckered confusedly at her.

"What do you mean?" Dahyun asked 

"I'll talk to Mina today" The girls' eyes widened enormously and the girl's nerves increased at the reaction.

"Holy shit" Lisa said "You're finally going to break up with her?"

Chaeyoung grimaced "I'll talk to her and we'll see what happens." 

"Hey, hey, no. I don't like this evasive attitude, you're going to break up with her, right?"

"Lisa..." The Thai woman's face had an expression I couldn't quite make out, it was an expression of discomfort, almost anger

"There's your girl" Dahyun interrupted them, pointing to the entrance of the cafeteria, where a very smiling Mina was watching them. 

Chaeoyung couldn't help but feel her heart flip to see her so normal, so happy while she had spent the last 8 days trying to regain strength to get out of bed, something changed inside her.

She hadn't had contact with her but if Mina knew what she had done, she might at least have felt a little remorse, a little guilt, a little hurt 

"Well, go to her. What are you waiting for?" Dahyun urged and the girl nodded, her legs were not reacting properly but she started to move towards the girl, shyly

Mina's smile grew and Chaeyoung's heart ached.

Why do you look so happy after breaking my heart like this?

"Chae..." She said breathlessly, her gaze traveling up and down, scanning the girl "You look amazing today."

Chaeyoung said nothing, preferring silence to reign, it's also not like she could speak even if she wanted to. The lump in her throat prevented her from doing so and she knew that if she spoke everything would hurt even more.

Mina looked at her with a smile, even daring to run her hands over Chaeyoung's bare shoulders, drawing her closer to herself, she fixed her gaze slightly behind her, watching the three girls looking at them expectantly.

A rare glint appeared in Mina's eyes "Do you mind if we go somewhere more private?"

Chaeyoung nodded as best she could, hesitating slightly, Mina didn't seem to notice since she took the girl's hand and they started walking away, into the garden 

Chaeyoung was the first to sit down, Mina sat next to her a little closer than the cub would have preferred but made no move to move away.

"If I'm being honest" She began "I don't know where to start."

Chaeyoung felt her throat ache "Anywhere you want, I have time" She said stiffly.

"My parents realized what happened, I mean, I don't blame them at all but I don't know who told them, we don't even live together" She said "It's all right, they talked to me and I'll be grounded for a while" She smiled slightly 

"And?"

"I hope you didn't get in trouble around here, I know Nayeon and Momo are important to you, I wouldn't want to have gotten them in trouble"

"They're fine," she said gravely. 

"Good, I am very glad. Jin talked to me, they are fine too. It reassures me too much-"

"Mina" Chaeyoung cut her off, exasperated.  "What happened?"

Mina looked down "For a while now I've had, a little situation going on at home, my dad is...weird" she explained "I felt trapped and I made decisions I'm not proud of."

"You think?" Mina grimaced at Chaeyoung's aggressive tone of voice. 

"I know I should have talked to someone, to you, to Bambam, to someone else. I know it was completely irresponsible. There are too many more things I regret."

The Japanese woman turned to look at her "I didn't mean to hurt you, I think-" Her voice cut off a little "I think I should have been a little more delicate with the issue of our relationship, I should have set more boundaries with you knowing that I'm not ready to commit myself completely to you." 

"You should have talked to me. You should have-" She ran her hand through her hair "Shit Mina, you should have reached out to someone. We could have avoided all of this crap."

"I know chaeng."

"Then why didn't you, huh?"

"I don't know" Sigh "Things got complicated, I felt it was too late to set boundaries with you, I didn't want to, not when I enjoy spending time with you so much, not when I'm really falling in love with you"

The words were like daggers to Chaeyoung's heart, she denied with tears in her eyes.

Enough

Her hands formed fists, she clenched her hands so hard her knuckles turned white "You can't say that, not after what happened" She bit her lip so hard she thought she'd draw blood "Mina, I think it's time to-"

"I love you." 

Chaeyoung's lips parted in surprise, all the hatred and pain inside her momentarily ceased, her mind went blank, not knowing what to say.

"I could list a thousand reasons why I love you" She laughed "I realized that a long time ago, but I couldn't tell you because I fucked things up a little later"

"Minari"

"I don't want things to be ruined because of me" She held her hand gently "But if you let me I can make things work, make us work"

"Mina."

"I know it's a lot to take" She explained "I'm not going to make excuses because I don't have any, I just want you to give me another chance to fix everything"

Chaeyoung didn't say anything after that, she separated her hand from Mina's and rubbed them on her thighs, wincing as she unintentionally brushed her wounds 

"It's not going to be easy Minari" She started. 

"I know what I did is unforgivable and that even though we'll build trust again, there's always going to be a little thorn in our bubble" She approached her again "But I'm going to do my best to make you trust me again"

Chaeyoung sighed and tightened her hand on Mina's grip "If Tzuyu chases after us to kill us I'll leave you lying there as bait." She said and Mina's smile intensified, the girl reciprocated the smile loosely. 

"Deal" She left a chaste kiss on the girl's knuckles. 

-

Going back to the others had been the most difficult task for Chaeyoung, she couldn't avoid the angry look Lisa sent her when the two girls entered the cafeteria holding hands, chuckling.

Chaeyoung knew that if looks could kill, she would be a thousand times dead. She couldn't help but notice the confused looks from the other girls, Nayeon curved an accusatory eyebrow at her and opened her lips to say something to Chaeyoung quietly.

Chaeyoung knew her well enough to know that "What the fuck Chaeyoung?" would cause her more trouble later, she chose to ignore it for now.

"Chaengie."

"Hmm?"

"Walk me to class?"

"Ah, yes. Sure" She smiled at her and Mina took her hand, leading her outside.

Chaeyoung just let her and followed her until she reached her classroom "I'll see you later?"

"Uh, yeah" Said the girl "Good luck."

Mina threw her a smile and walked into class, Chaeyoung stood in the hallway, perplexed. She still hadn't processed what had happened

"Shit."

It was going to be a long day 

-

She had spent the rest of her day trying to avoid the girls, which was useless since they had their weekly meeting today, at Chaeyoung, Momo and Dahyun's apartment.

Chaeyoung cursed a thousand times as she remembered that and knew she would have to face the girls there.

"Chaeng" Mina called her "Lisa and I have been talking."

That seemed to have brought the cub back "Ah, really?"

Mina nodded enthusiastically "Yeah, after everything that happened we started talking again"

Chaeyoung nodded and felt a little silly internally because it never occurred to her to ask any of the girls what had happened with her after all the drama 

"I'm glad you guys patched things up."

"Actually she was the one who reached out" This surprised the girl more "She took me home after all and apologized for what happened, saying she missed her best friend"

"That's nice, it's good that they fixed things" The 'best friend' hurt the girl a little but she knew that it was better late than never, she was happy that they fixed things.

But then, she didn't know why Lisa had acted that way when Chaeyoung informed them about Mina, if they had already made up by then, shouldn't she have supported Chaeyoung in talking to the Japanese girl?

"Yeah, we'll go out later to catch up on everything" She lay down next to the girl.

"Excellent, have fun" Chaeyoung closed her eyes after that, willing to sleep in Mina's bed but it seemed the Japanese woman had other plans.

"Chaeng?" She called out to her and the girl made a sound with her throat, letting her know she was listening " About a while ago" she began "I don't want to rush you into anything, I know we have different times but..."

"But...."

Mina buried her face in the pillow "You never said if you love me back."

Chaeyoung's eyes widened at this and she cleared her throat loudly "Oh" The girl mentally smacked herself, Mina was looking at her expectantly.

Chaeyoung's cheeks colored red and she looked up at the ceiling "I love you Minari."

Mina laughed loudly and kissed her cheek, snuggling into her side moments later "I love you more chaeng"

-

 Mina practically had to drag Chaeyoung out of her room, the girl wasn't ready to face the others

"Can I just not go?" she complained hugging the girl's waist.

"No, you have to go" She tried to push her away. 

"Why?" 

"Because you're a good friend" 

"I don't want to be" She whined more. 

"But you are, baby" She pushed her away and this time she succeeded "Hurry up, you're going to be late"

"It's my house" 

"You're the hostess, even worse" Chaeyoung buried her face in her hands and growled.

"Why don't you go?"

"I already told you, I think it's ideal that you talk to the girls first, I don't want to make things awkward" She cleared her throat "Besides I can't today, I'm seeing my dad."

"Oh"

"Yeah, oh" She sighed "It's the first time I've seen them since what happened"

"Weren't you staying with them?" Mina nodded. 

"I was, I stayed for the first 2 days, after that I ran away" She waved her hands "Don't worry, it'll be fine. Now go" She lifted her from the bed and led her to the door.

"Let me know if anything happens" Chaeyoung said and Mina smiled. 

"I will, don't worry about me" She gave her a chaste kiss on her cheek. 

Chaeyoung accepted the kiss gladly and left smiling like a fool.

The walk to her apartment was slow, she wanted to avoid the girls as much as possible. She finally arrived after walking around more than usual, she even thought of stopping by to buy something for dinner, then ignored the idea and resigned herself to arrive.

The ride in the elevator was the slowest moment of Chaeyoung's life, or so she felt. Her legs turned to jelly as she walked down the hallway to her unit.

She took another minute to fetch the keys and open the door, the noise that could be heard within the walls ceased and Chaeyoung gulped. 

She opened the door to find 7 pairs of expectant eyes, well 6, Tzuyu hadn't taken her eyes off her cell phone, it was a bad sign 

"Chaengie" Sana said with a slight smile. 

"Sana unnie, hi" She walked over to give her a somewhat awkward hug due to the angle "Hello girls"

"Chaeyoung..." Jihyo started 

"What the fuck happened earlier?!" Nayeon shouted, exasperated "Tell me why did I see you and that cheater holding hands?!"

"Nayeonnie, wait" She raised her hands in understanding. 

"Dont ‘Nayeonnie’ me" She complained crossing her arms "What the fuck was that?"

Chaeyoung sighed and stroked her temples "We talked..." She began delicately 

"It's always that! You always talk and you always end up forgiving her!" it was Tzuyu's voice this time

"Chou Tzu..." 

"No!" She got up from the couch "Don't think I'm going to let you humiliate yourself like this by being with her!"

"Chaeyoung, honestly, what the fuck were you thinking" Momo spoke up. 

"She told me that she loves me" It was enough since even Jihyo turned to look at her with a surprised expression "I wasn't thinking quite clearly"

"That doesn't change anything Chaeng" Momo said "If someone loves you, she's not going to do something like that"

"Look girls, I know you care about me and I appreciate it with my life" She paused "I can't explain to you how much what you did the other night meant to me, if it wasn't for what happened I would say it was one of the best nights of my life"

"But?" Nayeon looked at her. 

"I have my reasons for not ending it all with Mina" She explained "Now, I'm tired, I'm hungry and I would kill for a beer, can we please just shut up and enjoy the evening."

"Chaeng" Nayeon tried but the girl shot her a glare.

"Food" She almost growled and Nayeon gave up, letting out a sigh. 

"Fine, but you and I are going to have a serious talk later" She complained and sat down again next to Jeongyeon who pulled her to herself with a smile

"She just got here bunny, leave her alone" She told her and Nayeon elbowed her. 

"Why do you always take her side, huh?" 

"Because it's chaengie, everyone loves chaengie"

"Yeah right, backstabbers" She whispered with a pout. 

“Hey, where’s Lisa?” Chaeng asked, curious 

“She said she couldn’t make it, she had something with her father”

Chaeyoung shrugged off and nodded “Okay” 

The night started off with a bit of tension, or at least that's how Chaeyoung felt but as the hours progressed and the beers in Dahyun's system built up they all started to relax. Even Tzuyu who had opted to stay by Jihyo's side all night. 

They kept drinking until Dahyun and Jihyo stopped being presentable and opted to stay in for the night, repeating their routine from last night's outing.

Chaeyoung went upstairs with a groan and opened the door to her room expecting to see the Taiwanese, she was surprised when instead she saw Nayeon, sitting on her bed with a magazine in hands. 

"Chaengie" She said with a smile " Glad you're here".

"Nayeonnie" She said "I thought you were going to sleep with your girlfriend, you really left her alone with Jihyo unnie?"

"She's not my girlfriend!" she dropped her calm countenance. 

"And she never will be if you don't do anything about it, just kiss her, I'm sure she's waiting for it."

"She- What? Wait- no!" she stood up with a jump "I'm here to talk about you, not me!"

The girl sighed and nodded "I figured, fine. Shoot."

"I don't want to be mad at you anymore."

"You were mad at me...?"

"I know I can't change your mind about Mina, I respect that. You're a stubborn person and it's something I love about you" She paused "But at least I want to understand."

Chaeyoung looked at her and ventured onto the bed, she made a small sound as her thigh grazed the bed roughly but Nayeon didn't seem to have noticed it 

"When Mina told me she loved me I think my mind went blank" she began "When all this started, even from before, I had no hope that Mina would feel the same as me because, she's Mina and, I'm just me"

Nayeon frowned "Be gentle."

"Anyway, I was too surprised when she said she liked me" She smiled slightly "I never thought that a person as amazing as her could notice me, after Rosé, I felt it was my chance to remedy things, it was my chance to finally have a person who would reciprocate me, who wouldn't be afraid to make the first move" 

"Chaeng" 

"Mina is perfect, not the full sense of the word, clearly. But she's beautiful, and she's so smart and she's made me feel things that no one else has."

Nayeon looked at her with a frown "I know she has made a mistake but I know she can change, I know she wants to Nayeonnie" The look on the girl's face was almost pleading "I don't want to let her go, not when I already have her with me and I fear that no one else will ever come to love me as she has."

"Stop talking about yourself like that!" Nayeon exclaimed "Chaeyoung, anyone would be lucky to love you, to be with you in whatever way you let them!" 

"And who could do that, Nayeon? You?" She scoffed "I'm not like you, I don't have thousands of people behind me all the time" She looked her up and down "I'm afraid to let go of Mina and nobody will be able to love me afterwards"

"Chaeyoung" Momo spoke from the doorway, the two girls' heads turned to see her. 

"Momo, I thought you were sleeping" She said nervously "Sorry, did we wake you up?"

"I went to the bathroom" She explained, walking in and closing the door behind her.

"I assume you heard everything?" Nayeon sighed. 

"Yes, and it's the most ridiculous thing I've heard in a long time."

"Momo" The girl fell over as the Japanese woman held up a hand for her to shut up. 

"Anyone, whoever. Would be lucky to have been able to enter Son Chaeyoung's love field" she began "Do you really think you can start a relationship when you're so belittling of yourself like this?"

She approached the girl "How would you feel if either of us talked like that?" 

"Bad." 

"You can't expect people to love you if you don't love yourself enough." 

"I know you love Mina, and that your feelings are all that matter, even more than our opinions" Momo continued "But you can't expect Mina to have enough love to keep you both afloat."

"Sorry." 

"You don't have to apologize Chaengie, sorry if you felt attacked or hurt at any point, it wasn't our intention" Nayeon patted her shoulder "It's your life and no matter what happens I'm going to support you"

She reached over to hug her "But don't expect me to stop wanting to kill Mina every time I see her."

"No one is going to kill Mina, chaengie" Momo assured her "But we will be more cautious with her, you too."

Chaeyoung smiled a little and held out a hand to Momo to integrate her into the embrace 

"Thank you girls"

"It's nothing Chaengie, you know you can come to us whenever you get your heart broken" Nayeon joked "Just, try not to make it so often"

"Don't worry nayeonnie, I'll make sure of it"

Chapter Text

April

If you had asked Chaeyoung two months ago if she imagined her life would take this turn, she would have said no, but she couldn't really complain about anything.

It was mid-April, the warm atmosphere was palpable. Final exams were approaching for the end of the semester and the long-awaited summer vacation Chaeyoung had been wanting for months. 

Things were going well, however, after Mina's cheating, Mina and Chaeyoung agreed to start over. Her friends, specifically Nayeon and Jeongyeon supported Chaeyoung even though they still distrusted Mina. 

Even if it had been over a month since the accident and Mina had been nothing but amazing to her for weeks, she knew that she couldn't regain her trust in the girl so quickly, it was nice that she was trying so hard.

There was a little tension growing between them, which they both tried to avoid at all costs, it wasn't hard since they both hated conflict.

The girl had to admit however that the Japanese girl was trying hard to regain her trust, arranging spontaneous dates every week, constantly reassuring her that things were fine, she even started spending more time with girls in general to feel closer to Chaeyoung, the girl was very happy, the first 3 weeks.

Soon Lisa came into the picture and although Chaeyoung loved the girl with all her heart, she couldn't help a growing resentment in her when Mina started to cancel her dates to spend time with Lisa or when she would leave Chaeyoung stranded for hours because Lisa needed something that 'couldn't wait'.

She told herself that it was okay, that she would do the same for Nayeon in a heartbeat. 

Then the other things started, the poorly said excuses to avoid going out with Chaeyoung only to find out later from the girls that Mina was indeed with Lisa, the plans completely forgotten or cancelled at the last minute, the messages.

Chaeyoung gave herself enough credit for being a stable enough person not to be tempted to check Mina's cell phone, because she knew it was a complete violation of her privacy and because she didn't want Mina to think that she still didn't fully trust her, which was true but the girl didn't have to know everything. That was why when Mina started typing a message while Chaeyoung was lying next to her, she couldn't help but rest her eyes on the screen.

She quickly regretted it when she saw what seemed to be lisa's contact telling Mina things like 'let me take you on a date so I can show you how I want to kiss you" and how Mina didn't seem to mind, enough to quickly reply back without denying her attentions.

To say that the girl's chest began to ache is an understatement, her mind began to wander and she soon felt empty.

May   

Chaeyoung had challenged herself to avoid Lisa and Mina if they were together in the same room. 

Somehow she had found a way to spend time with both of them in separate times, the girl enjoyed those outings even if it took her almost 2 weeks to be able to look the two girls in the eye.

One new thing was that she had started going to therapy, not because she wanted to but because the school had recommended it after she had let her grades drop drastically.

It had helped her a lot even if she didn't want to admit it, she had become close to her psychiatrist and he had given her very good advice regarding her insecurities.

So Chaeyoung finally worked up the courage to mention what she had seen to Mina, but apparently the girl had the same plans because as they lay on the grass in the school garden, the Japanese girl took the initiative.

"Chaeng, love"

"Minari" The girl was with her head lying on Chaeyoung's lap, playing with her hands and drawing imaginary figures. 

"Something happened with Lisa and I think I'd better tell you so as not to cause misunderstandings"

"Oh, sure."

Mina looked her in the eyes and took a breath of deep air "A couple of days ago she sent me a weird message, we were talking normal and..."

”And?”

"'She said she wanted to kiss me' The hands that were playing with the girl's hair stopped, not because of the girl's words but because of what she had said..."

'A couple of days ago?'

"What did you tell her?"

"That she should stop playing with things like that" She shrugged "Lisa is like that, she flirts with everyone, it got worse since Jennie started dating Kai"

Chaeyoung agreed "How long ago did you say it was?"

"A couple of days, maybe, Thursday?" she asked herself.

Chaeyoung hummed "Okay, well. I would really appreciate it if Lisa would stop making jokes like that, I don't think it's appropriate" She paused "Thanks for telling me Minari"

"It's nothing, I love you" 

Chaeyoung looked at her out of the corner of her eye "I love you."

She let out a sigh that she didn't know she was holding and mentally made the reminder to make an appointment with her psychiatrist as soon as possible, she tried to stay composed in front of Mina, after all the girl didn't know what Chaeyoung had seen on her cell phone. 

There was no way for the Japanese girl to know that Chaeyoung was aware of everything, and it definitely hadn't happened a couple of days ago.

-

The days after the talk with Mina were the worst, she could barely sleep because of the anxiety that seemed to hate her enough to keep her awake at night for weeks.

She thought she could hide the big dark circles that were starting to form under her eyes, after all she didn't look any different from all the other stressed out students struggling to make it to the end of the semester. Unfortunately the girls were very perplexed about Chaeyoung's condition and when the girl came to class with big bags under her eyes and almost pale skin like Dahyun, they began to take the job of taking care of her more seriously.

The girl assured them that everything was fine, none of them believed her and Chaeyoung took it as a challenge to fool the girls, so she started taking sleeping pills with a little wine every now and then.

It seemed to work for a while until the pills stopped working and she went back to looking like a living zombie, she lost weight quickly and that didn't help her convince the girls that she was fine.

Mina tried to help her but Chaeyoung didn't want to have the girl as close as before, even though if she was honest Mina was the only person Chaeyoung could stand when she felt like this.

She hated when it happened, she didn't know how she could go from loving to hating everyone (including her friends) in a few seconds, it was as if a switch in her brain turned off at the sight of her friends and she couldn't stand to be in the same presence as them, it wasn't an exaggeration.

She knew she loved her friends, at least that was what she remembered between moments, but she couldn't help the hatred she felt every time she saw them, as if her emotions towards them were turned off and only Mina could bring them back.

It was emotionally draining, more so when she could notice Tzuyu and Momo's grimaces when Chaeyoung answered them in a more rude way than usual or when Nayeon made a joke and the girl answered in a sarcastic way, enough to hurt the others' feelings.

She decided to talk to her psychiatrist, initially she didn't know how to start or how to explain her emotions, if she was honest she just wanted something stronger than sleeping pills.

"Chaeyoung," He called her. 

"Sorry, Dr. Hun, I'm a little distracted."

The men in front of her nodded empathetically, urging her to talk more but Chaeyoung was in pain, it wasn't just a mental pain, it was a pain big enough to cause her physical discomfort.

It was as if Chaeyoung's skin was on fire and every little brush against her body pierced through it like a thousand needles, it really hurt.

"Have you ever heard of something called 'Borderline Personality Disorder'"? He asked her a session later and the girl denied. 

"After having analyzed your medical and family records, and from the testimonies you have given me, I have come up with an analysis for you."

"I have that?"

"I still need to know if it's BPD or some kind of extreme bipolar, but if you meet the 5 main symptoms and I would like to start treatment immediately."

"How long does it last?"

"What?"

"The treatment, how long does it last? A couple of months, a couple of year at most?" he asked curiously, the man's face hardened slightly 

"Chaeyoung, BPD is not a disorder that is cured." 

"What do you mean?"

"That a patient with this type of disorder is not cured, you learn to live with it. And if the treatment is successful enough a person with BPD can live a quiet life without the symptoms" He told her. 

"So I just have to deal with this and live the rest of my life with a disorder I've never heard of?"

"The improvement rate for BPD patients is better than it was years ago, you don't have to worry about anything that might happen."

Chaeyoung started treatment immediately, beginning to constantly medicate herself to control her anger attacks and all the emotions she was going through.

Everything started to get better after that, more or less. Her situation with Mina got worse and worse, to the point where they spoke only once a day on the phone if the girl wasn't too busy to answer. 

The fights got worse too.

"Minari are we going to do something this Saturday?" She asked her with a light smile

"Oh love, what's the occasion?"

The thing is that despite not being official, Mina had approached her in early March excited about their anniversary. Chaeyoung was confused at first and it took her two whole days to convince Mina that she hadn't forgotten, she just had no idea that it was something they were supposed to celebrate. 

May 8, their anniversary. She gave a puzzled nod when she didn't know what the girl was referring to.

"I just thought we could do something, go out to dinner or something."

"Oh, I don't think I can chaeng, Lisa and I were planning on going to dinner at a new vegan restaurant near her place. Hey we should go sometime you and I, huh" She smiled at her and Chaeyoung immediately understood what was going on, she had forgotten about it 

"Oh" Chaeyoung made an involuntary grimace "Okay then." 

She didn't have the heart to remind Mina what she had forgotten, especially since she would know she wouldn't be able to bear to do it without crying, so she decided to let it go.

Finally the day approached, Chaeyoung had hoped that Mina would send her a message letting her know that she had remembered, she didn't need flowers or gifts, just to know that Mina hadn't forgotten her.

Unfortunately it was not the case and Mina did not dare to send her a single message all day, so she spent the whole day sad, until Dahyun got tired of it.

It was almost 7 o'clock at night, Chaeyoung had spent the whole day in bed, occasionally coming downstairs to eat from the big pot of ice cream she had bought

"Chaeyoung!" The shout startled the girl a little, who looked up quickly "Get ready, we're going out!"

The girl grunted and buried herself even more in her bed, with the pillow on her head "No, I don't want to go out, let me die here!" 

Dahyun reached over and removed the sheets covering the girl's body, Chaeyoung shrieked and curled into a ball to regain the warmth she lost but Dahyun didn't give up and pulled her by her feet

Chaeyoung made an involuntary squeak, putting the pillow aside to look at Dahyun angrily "What?"

"We're going out, Momo and Tzuyu are waiting, let's go."

"You can't go alone you guys, I really don't feel like going out."

"No, I won't let you stay here all day to whine, where the fuck is Mina by the way?"

Chaeyoung stared at her, trying to find an excuse for the girl, not that she didn't want to tell her the truth but since the last time mina did something she got used to keeping her relationship problems to herself.

"She's busy with her family's stuff, I didn't want to bother her."

"Well, no girlfriend today then, all the more reason for you to go out" She looked at her and Chaeyoung refrained from commenting "No complaints, get ready."

"Fine, but I don't want any alcohol Kim Dahyun!"

-

"I'm going to kill you"

"Oh come on, you don't have to drink if you don't want to." 

They made their way through a flood of people at the new bar Dahyun had taken them to, they made their way to the bar where Dahyun approached and whispered something bartender who smiled and quickly poured what looked like vodka into a glass

"Dahyun I'm really not in the mood for this" She complained and Dahyun rolled her eyes in exasperation. 

"I'm not going to let you stay in your room all night because your girlfriend decided not to spend time with you this time" She said and Chaeyoung growled even more "Look, give me an hour, if you're really having a bad time, we'll leave and order something to eat and you can wail all you want" 

Chaeyoung pondered for a moment but nodded heavily "Fine, but you only have one hour and you'll pay for all the drinks."

Dahyun rushed over to Chaeyoung, squeezing her in a tight hug, "I'll do it! Come on chaengie, Momo and Tzuyu are over here!" 

They headed to a far table, where the girls were already seated, Momo apparently had already had several drinks since the moment she saw Chaeyoung she staggered over to her and hugged her shoulders 

"Chaengie!" She exclaimed "You came, I was thinking of sending Tzuyu for you!"

"How much have you taken?"

"A lot!" She grinned and started pulling her towards the table "Let's go"

"Chewy" She said and the girl smiled at her. 

"Chaeng" 

"I'll go get drinks, chaeng you drink vodka right?" Dahyun asked and the girl nodded. 

Tzuyu started a conversation soon and Chaeyoung gradually felt more relaxed with the atmosphere and talking to drunk Momo was a very funny experience.

Dahyun came back later, with a whole bottle in her hand "They will bring us the rest" she said with a hand gesture and sat down, she offered the bottle to Chaeyoung who accepted after hesitating a bit and gulped down the bottle, swallowing a good amount of alcohol. 

The other drinks didn't take long to arrive and soon the 4 girls were already a little dizzy, Momo and Dahyun more than the others, even Tzuyu had been encouraged to drink and found herself laughing at every little thing Dahyun did.

"Let's go dance" Momo suggested and Chaeyoung drunkenly agreed, she held on to Momo's hand tightly and knew that Dahyun was following her with Tzuyu behind. 

They got to the dance floor and Momo immediately started dancing, Dahyun followed her with wobbly steps, Chaeyoung was not much of a dancer, not that she hated it, she just preferred not to do it. Tzuyu approached her with a smile and the girl decided that for today it wouldn't be bad to do new things.

So she smiled big and followed the girls who seemed to be having a lot of fun. Chaeyoung could feel all the stress leave her body, the presence of the girls had really cheered her up and for the first time in weeks her mind could let go of any thoughts regarding Mina, she didn't want to admit it without feeling a bit guilty, but she was even happy that that was the case.

"Chaengie!" Tzuyu approached her with a smile, Chaeyoung returned it to her and pulled her closer to her body, running a hand around her waist to keep her afloat 

"You're too drunk Chou Tzu" She yelled at her over the music, the girl quickly denied. 

"Just dizzy, I want another drink, join me?" She pouted "Momo is too busy flirting with Dahyun to notice me."

Chaeyoung turned to look at the other two girls who were dancing very close to each other, they didn't take their eyes off each other and the cub had to avert her gaze at the intimate sight of the two.

"We should do something with them" She said with embarrassment. 

Why?"

"Because I don't think Sana unnie will agree with Dahyunnie this time, it's really not an environment to propose to your crush, less so without Sana" Tzuyu nodded in understanding and thought slightly "I'll separate them, wait here”

She slowly approached the girls, Momo's eyes had an extraordinary sparkle and Dahyun's smile was so sweet that the girl actually felt bad for having to break the moment.

"Girls, Chou Tzu wants one more drink and I don't think it's a good idea to separate us" She moved closer to shout over the music, Dahyun nodded and waved her hands at her

"Let's go with you, lead the way Strawberry princess!" Dahyun shouted and Momo laughed, the girl had to resist rolling her eyes and started walking, her hand looking for Dahyun's to intertwine them so they wouldn't get lost, Dahyun's was already with Momo's so she didn't have to worry about her, she spotted Tzuyu, standing in the middle of the crowd and immediately walked over.

The girl's face lit up and she approached them, Chaeyoung as she could pulled them out of the crowd and directed them to the bar, Tzuyu was quick to order another drink whose name Chaeyoung can't remember.

"I'll go to the bathroom, chaeng" announced the Taiwanese woman. 

"Oh, wait, I'll walk you" She made the gesture to stand up but the girl stopped her before she could do that 

"I'll do it" Momo said, with a lighter tone of voice "I'm not drunk anymore anyway, stay put girls" She said and both Dahyun and Chaeyoung nodded. 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to be separated!” She tried to scream but the girls didn’t seem to have heard her 

Chaeyoung sighed and ran her hands through her hair, trying to comb it. Dahyun looked at her with a mischievous smile from where she was sitting next to her. 

"What?"

Dahyun nudged her playfully "I told you so."

Chaeyoung rolled her eyes exaggeratedly "Yeah, whatever. You're paying for this." 

"'Anything to not leave you rotting in your room'" 

Chaeyoung laughed and turned around in her seat, looking at the people in the dance floor. "Yeah well, thanks for getting me out, I really needed it." 

"Sure NoJam bro, you can always count on me to put you out of your misery." 

Chaeyoung let out a bigger laugh and returned her gaze to the dance floor, though she had been drinking and her vision wasn't the best, as things got blurry at times, she could never mistake the person she could spot in the crowd.

Her heart began to pound and she tried to focus her eyes properly hoping that her mind was playing a dirty trick on her.

However, two seconds later the girl turned around and despite the lack of light in the place there was no doubt who was the person who was dancing so closely to a woman.

Mina

Mina and what appeared to be, Lisa?

She blinked several times and unconsciously approached the two people, Dahyun called her name several times but she didn't pay attention to it, she approached the two girls until they were a few feet away.

Mina was dancing with Lisa, both girls were laughing and drinking, Lisa's hands were perched dangerously close to Mina's hips and the Japanese girl on her side had wasted no time holding her best friend's face in her hands, getting closer and closer to her.

Chaeyoung waited, waited for Mina to cut the distance between them and break her heart again, but this never came because Mina moved away from the girl and looked around her.

The girl could see how the color of Mina's face disappeared the moment she saw her standing in front of her, she removed Lisa's hands from her body and the Thai girl looked surprised for a moment, with a grimace of annoyance.

"Chaeng" The Japanese woman said but Chaeyoung didn't wait for her to say more, turning on her heels and walking hurriedly towards Dahyun.

Tears didn't come out of her eyes this time but she wanted to get out of there quickly. 

"Chaengie, what's wrong?" Dahyun asked her but Mina interrupted her before she could answer, it looked like she had tried to get to her quickly since she had a layer of sweat on her forehead and was breathing heavily 

"Chae" Mina's voice filled her ears and the girl had to take a deep breath before she turned around to face the girl 

"Minari."

Mina moved in with a smile to kiss Chaeyoung's lips, the girl moved her head quickly so that her kiss landed on her cheek instead.

Mina frowned slightly "What are you doing here?" she asked with a confused smile.

"Dubu invited me" She said "what are you doing here? I thought you were going to go to dinner with Lisa or something."

Mina grimaced "Yeah, there was a little change of plans" She smiled nervously "You were leaving already?"

"Chaeng, Dubu!" Momo shouted, though she paused to send Mina a wave.“Chou Tzu is dead, we should go" The girl accentuated her words showing the girl wrapped in her arms. 

"Sure, I'll call for a cab" Dahyun said and smiled at the Japanese girl "See you Mina."

The girl said goodbye to her but quickly her gaze landed on the wobbling girl "Chaengie, where's my other drink?" she asked in a sweet voice 

"There won't be any more for you honey I'm sorry, you're already too drunk and Jihyo will kill us if we don't turn you in one piece" Chaeyoung helped her to sit next to her, taking her face in her hands and lightly wiping her face 

"I didn't know you'd invited Tzuyu to all this."

"What do you mean?" 

"I didn't think it was her environment" She shrugged "And I thought you had taken into account what we talked about the other time."

Chaeyoung had tried not to get mad at the girl, she knew it wasn't the mature thing to talk now, in front of everyone and with alcohol running through her veins "Chou Tzu is my friend Minari, just like Dahyun's and Momo's, you can't expect me to stay away from her and exclude her from every plan we make" 

"You could just tell her to stop accepting if she is invited" Her tone became harsher. 

The comment made her clench her fists and she leaned Tzuyu against Momo's body who was watching the exchange silently "Tzuyu has done nothing to make you distrust her" Her tone came out with venom "I'm not going to exclude her from everything just because you say so"

"I'm your girlfriend, isn't my annoyance enough for you to do it?"

Chaeyoung scoffed "Your annoyance concerns me but I won't do anything when you make ridiculous demands like that, I don't know why you're so upset, I didn't even invite her, Dahyun did." 

"You could have left"

"Are you listening to yourself right now?" She asked incredulously, her tone rising and earning a couple of looks from the people around her "Are you listening to how ridiculous you sound?"

"Ridiculous?" Mina crossed her arms "Is that what you think?"

"Yes!" 

"I'm just trying to protect us!" She replied, her tone rising higher and higher.

"Uh, girls..." Momo tried to intervene but none of the girls listened. 

"Protect us from what?! Tzuyu doesn't want to do anything wrong, we're friends, Minari. Just friends!"

The atmosphere was getting more and more tense, Momo was looking at them with concern with a sleeping Tzuyu in her arms

"Where the fuck is Dahyun?" Momo muttered under her breath. 

"You know what? I don't even know why I bother" Chaeyoung said and took Tzuyu in her arms, the girl woke up "Let's go" Momo helped her lift the girl, Chaeyoung didn't want to start a fight, not in public let alone drunk.

"You're not going anywhere Chaeyoung" Mina said again "Not with her."

"For fuck's sake, are you listening to yourself? Tzuyu is not going to try anything! She's drunk, I need to take her home!" the real reason why she was here threatened to come out of her lips but she bit her tongue. 

"No!" She reached out to grab the girl's arm but Chaeyoung quickly pulled away with a jerk. 

"You have no right to come here and complain to me as if I was the one who chose to come and drink with her best friend rather than spend her anniversary with her girlfriend" Well, it's already out of the bag. Mina stopped dead in her tracks, her eyes widened slightly at the revelation and her mouth twitched "I guess I get who has your priority here." 

"Chaeng..." She approached again, her tone soft

"No" The girl stopped her "I need to take the girls home, go back to Lisa and be sure to let me know when you're home" She took the Taiwanese in her arms and without waiting for an answer she turned around, a very embarrassed Momo following behind her

Mina stood there, perplexed, as she watched Chaeyoung walk out the door.

June

With school over and summer vacation starting, the fights with Mina increased and the time they spent together lessened.

At first Chaeyoung didn't worry, she knew that all couples go through this stage after their honeymoon period, Dahyun and Sana had assured her.

She knew that her love for Mina was enough to get through things, together, because even if they fought often it never crossed her mind to end things with the girl, Chaeyoung was not one to run away from problems and preferred to work things out with people rather than give up completely.

So she tried to be more patient, putting herself in Mina's position, trying to compromise every time she thought a fight was going to start. She knew that in a relationship things were not going to be 50/50 and she was ready to give her all to Mina to survive things.

Mina didn't seem to think the same as the girl, who ran away every time Chaeyoung wanted to talk about her feelings, she hadn't even apologized for what had happened on their anniversary, it's not like the cub hadn't seen it coming.

-

Two weeks later things seemed to have taken a turn for the worse and Mina finally sent her the long awaited "we need to talk" message.

Which kept Chaeyoung on edge all day, until it was time to head to Mina's apartment to fix whatever was going on with them, she had prepared a whole corny monologue that Mina could make fun of for the rest of their lives.

"Minari" She smiled at her and Mina smiled back, inviting her in.

"Chaeng" She acknowledged her "Sit on the couch."

The girl heeded immediately with a bit of trepidation, Mina was being extremely nice, not that she wasn't before it just seemed strange today

"Do you want something to drink? Have you eaten yet?"

"Don't worry, I ate before I came" She replied "Um, Minari, what's wrong?" She asked when she saw the girl playing with her hands in front of her in a nervous gesture. 

"Okay, good" She sat down next to Chaeyoung and took her hands "You know I've started going to therapy" She said and the girl smiled.

"And I'm very proud of you for that" She squeezed Mina's hands between her own, the girl smiled weakly

"I talked to her a couple of times about us, good things at the beginning"

"In the beginning..." Chaeyoung began

"Then we started fighting, and I felt I should tell her about how she made me feel."

"Okay..." I didn't know what the girl was referring to "I'm glad you trust her enough to tell her how you feel, love."

"The thing is..." She paused "I talked to her and she came to the conclusion that you're no good for me."

Chaeyoung felt her jaw drop to the floor, she looked at the girl in disbelief and let go of her hands, laughing lightly

"Wait, wait" She laughed "Really?"

Chaeyoung had expected the conversation to go everywhere but this

"She felt it best to take a break from this" She pointed between them.

"This?"

"And I honestly agree with her."

"Wait what?" She said quickly "What do you mean? What are you doing?"

"I mean I think we should take some time away from each other."

"You're kidding, right?"

The seriousness in the girl's face told her that no, she was serious.

Is she- breaking up with me?

Just like that?

What happened to the Mina who cried for almost two hours when she thought I was going to leave her?

Is she really going to give up that easily? Is she going to leave me just like that?

"Chaeyoung" Mina snapped her out of her trance "I know it's going to be hard for you, can you tell me if I can do anything for you to make you feel better?"

Difficult for me? How about for you?

Chaeyoung looked into her eyes, her lips began to tremble a little "Mina" She laughed through her tears "Are you-are you breaking up with me?"

Mina grimaced "I don't want you to say it like that Chaeng."

"Then how the fuck do you want me to say it, huh?" She spat and Mina looked down

"I'm sorry Chaeng."

"I don't understand why you’re doing this" A single tear fell down her cheek "I-I don't. I don't understand Minari, I thought we were fine" She wiped the tear quickly "Shit Mina, I thought that- that we were fine" She stammered.

"I really need this chaeng" She grabbed her shoulders "and I hope you can be by my side as a friend as I get through this."

Friend?

You want me to be your friend?

"But, but-" She cut herself off as her lips began to tremble even more "I love you, Mina."

The Japanese avoided looking her in the eyes, resting her gaze on her hands "Just because I'm asking you for some time doesn't mean I love you any less."

"Sure?"

The girl nodded "It means I must have some time away from you to heal" She explained "You can heal too Chaeng, you have so many unclosed wounds that someday I'm going to start bleeding with you too and I can't allow that, it's not fair to me"

Fair for you?

When something has not been fair to you, Minari?

What about being fair to me?

Chaeyoung said nothing, tears falling freely down her cheeks now, she wiped them roughly, not wanting to show how much what Mina had said had affected her.

"So that's it then?"

Mina nodded ruefully, "It is, chaeng."

The cub didn't answer, instead preferring to get up from the couch and head for the door with a heavy heart, she paused before leaving "Goodbye Mina."

Mina hadn't gotten up from her place but replied "See you later Chaeyoung."

Chaeyoung turned her head slightly, sniffled her nose and lowered her gaze "I hope not."

She walked out the door without looking back, and wiped her tears aggressively, cursing herself in the process for being so weak.

When she walked out into the lobby there were still a couple of tears falling, she didn't bother wiping those away, she got into her car quickly and started driving.

She drove as fast as she could until the tears started to blur her vision and it was getting harder and harder to see the highway. She could hear her cell phone ringing from the back seat but didn't bother looking for it.

She stopped the car at the side of a road, it was night and it was raining, the girl turned off the car and sighed heavily.

She began to hit the steering wheel hard, the blow caused the horn to turn on and let out a loud beep, soon a piercing scream came from Chaeyoung's throat.

Tears began to flow freely and ran her hands over her face, smearing the makeup that was already smeared even more on her cheeks.

She hit her chest hard, then hit it even harder, and the air was cut off.

She screamed again, the thoughts hurt and what she wanted was for them to stop.

She tried to remember the exercises she had learned in therapy to control her emotions but none of them seemed to work.

She began to hyperventilate and knew that if she kept it up she wouldn't get very far, so she quickly unbuckled her seatbelt and turned to look for her cell phone in the back seat.

She could see many missed calls from Nayeon and a couple of messages from Jeongyeon.

She didn't know who to ask for help, Nayeon was her best friend but she didn't know if she could deal with her for now, Jihyo was off limits, apparently she had decided to spend the week with her family, the Japanese line had also decided to go home taking little Dahyun with them.

She had two options left, but decided to go for the latter since she was betting that Jeongyeon was with Nayeon.

She quickly dialed the number she knew by heart and it rang no more than three times before the sweet voice of the Taiwanese woman answered.

"Chaengie, what's up?"

"Mina-" A painful sob came from her throat “She-she broke up with me."

Chapter Text

June 10th

Chaeyoung had become a kind of living Zombie, after that night where she arrived at Tzuyu's room soaked by the rain and with tears running down her cheeks things had not improved. 

Tzuyu tried her best to comfort the girl but it was useless, Chaeyoung did not stop crying until she fell asleep on the girl's legs and the Taiwanese had no choice but to inform Nayeon. 

Needless to say, Chaeyoung woke up the next day with a severe headache, a Tzuyu with serious neck pain and two very alarmed girls. 

Nayeon threw herself into the girl's arms the moment the Taiwanese girl opened the door and Jeongyeon took care of preparing her favorite meals, Chaeyoung didn't open her mouth for the rest of the day but the girls made sure not to leave her side at all. 

Nayeon was even about to go into the bathroom while Chaeyoung was taking a bath but Jeongyeon stopped her, luckily. 

Chaeyoung hadn't cried, which worried them more and they also hadn't managed to get much information out of her other than what Tzuyu knew 

"I don't know, she just called me in the middle of the night and half an hour later she was crying on my couch without saying anything!"  That was the first thing a very panicky Tzuyu told them when she saw them. 

Nayeon knew it had to do with Mina, that they had broken up. But that was as far as her knowledge went and it terrified her.

Eventually they had to leave the maknae's room, although the maknae had insisted that they stay for the night they had to decline since they had plans they couldn't cancel.

Chaeyoung stayed without much fuss, Nayeon said goodbye with a big kiss on the girl's forehead and Jeongyeon hugged her for 10 minutes straight, the cub didn't protest and even returned the affections.

Tzuyu lent her a pair of pajamas to sleep in which the girl gladly accepted and they went straight to bed.

"Chaengie" Tzuyu spoke, breaking the silence "Are you asleep?"

The girl didn't expect the cub to respond but was still a bit surprised when she noticed movement from the left side of her bed, Chaeyoung rolled over until she was on her side, staring at Tzuyu. 

The Taiwanese imitated her action and turned to look at her "How are you feeling?" Her voice cracked a little at the ridiculous question.

Chaeyoung made a gesture with her head that indicated she was fine, Tzuyu didn't believe her

"I'm sorry, I'm really bad at comforting people" She winced "But I really want you to know that I'm here" Chaeyoung looked at her, alternating her gaze between the two maknae's eyes, she slid her hand between the sheets until she found Tzuyu's and could intertwine them.

Tzuyu tightened her grip and soon tears began to flow from the cub eyes, sobs filled the overwhelming silence of the room and Chaeyoung moved even closer to the girl, Until Chaeyoung's breath practically combined with hers.

"It's going to be okay Chaengie" She squeezed her hand again "I promise." 

Neither of them slept that night 

June 25th

Chaeyoung's hair was pink now, and a couple of new tattoos adorned her skin, the biggest being the one on her back

Chaeyoung's routine became what it was before she met Mina, and unfortunately now she didn't have school to distract her most of the day so she opted for the most logical thing her mind told her to do, alcohol. 

Momo had a lot of experience in that area and Dahyun was happy that the girl was finally hanging out with her without having to drag her along, even Sana would join them from time to time, it wasn't awkward at all, the three of them made sure to include Chaeyoung in everything, which amused Chaeyoung because the girls were so busy making her feel included that they had forgotten to make an effort to hide their feelings for each other.

Chaeyoung would ask Dahyun about it later. 

She had also found solace in painting, when she wasn't at a party with the girls, she would meet Jeongyeon and Nayeon to paint on canvases. 

The girl was too fond of it and soon Mina's memory became less painful. 

At times, she would be lying if she said that she didn't stop listening to her favorite songs because Mina was always in those memories or that since they broke up, she hadn't seen The Breakfast Club because it was the Japanese girl's favorite movie 

The girls had taken care not to mention her at all and had even taken the trouble not to invite her to the meetings they did. Chaeyoung knew that eventually they would have to see each other but she just wanted more time to get used to it. 

She hadn't heard from the girl since the last time she saw her in her apartment and Lisa had also been cautious enough around her not to bring up the subject.

July

The first time Chaeyoung saw Mina since their breakup was at Jihyo and Nayeon's apartment, almost a month after their breakup.

Chaeyoung had arrived at the girls' house, hand in hand with Tzuyu. 

"You literally have no right to say that when you're the same height as a goblin." 

"I'm the same height as Jihyo unnie!" She exclaimed 

"Exactly" The Taiwanese woman scoffed, waving her free hand at a very amused Nayeon, who had been watching the exchange between the two younger ones. 

"Nayeonnie, your kid is being mean to me" Chaeyoung pouted and the Taiwanese woman smacked her shoulder in enjoyment. 

"She’s not my kid and maybe you deserve it" Nayeon spoke, and opened the door wider to let them pass "You're the last ones to arrive"

"Oh, really?" Tzuyu said "We beat Momo."

"It was Tzuyu's fault, she got distracted by some puppies on our way here." 

"You too!" she complained and let go of Chaeyoung’s hand dramatically. 

The gesture seemed to draw the attention of a person, whose presence had gone unnoticed by Chaeyoung. Mina was staring at her from across the living room.

"You're mean" She pouted which earned a big smile from the Taiwanese, the truth is, they had become closer after what happened and if she was honest, she loved Tzuyu's presence whenever they were together.

"God, you're disgusting" Nayeon said, with fake jealousy "Jihyo, your girls are here!" she shouted to the girl, who quickly came down the stairs with a big smile.