Chapter Text
1. I am not allowed to sell slightly inappropriate BTS shirts to our fans to boost morale.
“V can you tell me what this is?” Rap Monster pushed his phone in front of the deep voice singer.
Gaining a crossed-eye look, V gazed at the phone. “Oh is that the new iPhone 6. Hey does it ben-?”
“No it doesn’t bend!” Interrupting the 4-D alien. “I meant what’s on the screen.” Rap Monster stepped back a bit so V can see it more clearly.”
Now seeing the phone more clearly, V saw the homepage of his BTS etsy store. He was kind of surprise that Namjoon finally found out about it. It wasn’t really much of a secret.
“Namjoon hyung it’s not my fault that you spend most of time on the internet looking at porn so you didn’t know about my etsy store.”
His face flushed at the accusation. “I do not spend all my-” He cut himself off, realizing they were getting off topic. “No I meant this specifically. What you’re currently selling on your store.” He emphasized his point by double tapping his screen to enlarge the photo.”
“Ohhh you mean the T-shirts I’m selling.” Taehyung gave the leader a proud boxy smile. “Yeah I started selling them to the Army’s as appreciation for supporting us and boost morale.” His smile slightly dimmed as he observed the rapper’s frown. “Why do seem mad about that?”
“Because of the logo you have them!” Rap Monster further enlarged the picture to clearly show the writing more clearly.
*BTS, We Do It On The Stage!*
“Sooo are you mad I didn’t put you’re face on it, because if you makes you feel better I didn’t put anyone’s face on it. Though I did consider having a special addition where there’s a picture of Jiminie’s butt on the front of the shirt since apparently there are whole blogs dedicated to pictures of it so I figure it would sell well. But Seokjin hyung told me that would be inappropriate.” Taehyung rambled on, missing what the leader was upset about.
“No I mean the logo. It’s inappropriate!”
“Huh,” Giving Rap Monster a strange look. “How is it inappropriate? It just means we perform well on the stage.” He paused for a moment, a thought suddenly dawning on him. “Oh you think it means…oh for shame Namjoon hyung.”
“W-what are you talking about?” He fumbled with his words. “How else would anybody interpret that?”
“Hyung maybe you should lay off the porn, it’s obvious its diluted your mind to a point of no return if you consider this perfectly innocent statement inappropriate.” He gave the leader a innocent smile.
“Don’t play all innocent!” He pointed an accusatory finger at the vocalist. “If the statement is as ‘innocent’ as you say it is, then why are there different subsets of the T-shirt that have fan pairing names on there.” He pointed out as he glared at one that said: Namjin, They Do It On The Stage!
“ Oh well…hmm you got me there.”
Shaking his head in exasperation, he gave his band mate a stern but slightly fond look (there’s a part of him that think the shirts are hilarious but as a leader he couldn’t be bias). “Just take the shirts down from the store.”
“But its my best seller.” Taehyung pleaded, even pulling out his aegyo. “I only started selling them 3 days ago and there already a thousand orders.”
“Really?” Namjoon’s eyes bugged out as he looked at the order count on the website. But then something else caught his eye. “Wait a minute, why is there a 2-day rush shipping option. Some of these orders are from our international fans, why do you even offer that option?”
“Amazon offers two-day shipping.” He mumbled, realizing that was a dumb idea.
The leader rubbed his face in tiredness (sometimes his friends/band mates made him want to smash his head against the wall). “Just fill the orders that are already in and take the shirt off of your website.”
“Whhyy?” The singer whined. “It can’t be any worse than that one time I sold one of you guy’s hair comb.”
“Whaaat?”
“What to your what.”
“What?”
“What?” Taehyung paused as he realized he made him and Rap Monster confused. “Nothing. I meant nothing by that comment.”
Rap Monster stared at him for awhile before deciding he was just going to deal with the present problem. “Just…take the shirts down already.”
Taehyung was going to argue some more, but after seeing Rap Monster’s Obey-me-I-am-the-leaderlook he eventually complied. “Fine. I remember when you used to be fun.” Namjoon just shook his fondly and went on his way while silently thinking up in his head that they should all have a family meeting about him being the last to know everything.
Watching the leader leave the room, Taehyung pulled out his own phone and went through some files on his phone. “Well I guess I’ll have to go to plan B.”
One Week Later:
“Tae why are there pictures all over the internet of our fans wearing a shirt with my ass plastered in the front!”