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He was at his second glass of whisky when the lady entered the bar.
She was a tall, beautiful woman, with her hair in a bun, wearing a pale grey suit and a black turtleneck shirt underneath. Her dark, strong-willed eyes scanned the place until she found a man in a beige overcoat sitting by the bar. She walked at his direction with unfaltering steps.
Kazuma Kiryu let his body sink on the couch and buried his head in the black bucket hat he was wearing when Kaoru Sayama passed behind his seat, leaving a trace of her perfume. That scent instantly brought him memories of their time together. Eighteen years had passed since the last day he had saw her at the very cemetery where recently Date-san convinced Kiryu that he must reunite with his old friends and allies to wrap up some loosen knots before… well, before the end.
He thought he was in good terms with his old feelings about Kaoru but seeing her in person after so many years was something quite different.
*
Kiryu was with Namba and Seonhee when her name came up on his bucket list.
“And she’s the last one?”, asked Namba. “She’s the only gal on your list, I see.”
“Kaoru Sayama”, said Seonhee thoughtfully. “Her name is quite known inside Geomijul, especially among the old members of Jingweon Mafia.”
Kiryu looked up to the woman beside him, his body in alert. Seonhee gave him one of her mysterious giggles.
“Calm down, you don’t need to worry about her. It’s not like they’re after some kind of revenge or anything liked it.”
“Hey, I’m quite lost here”, said Namba with a puzzled expression.
“She’s a detective who went training in America, and she’s Korean too”, said Seonhee to Namba in a plain tone. “Well, half Korean, her father was a Japanese cop. Plus, she’s Ryuji Goda’s sister; yeah, that one, the Dragon of Kansai. It’s an old and complicated story, actually. But, like I was saying, you don’t need to worry about her, Kiryu-san. She’s perfectly fine. Nobody of the former Jingweon Mafia is after her, I can guarantee that.”
“And how could you be so sure?”, asked Kiryu.
“First, because I told them so. And second, because no one in Geomijul want to piss off the Dragon of Dojima himself.”
“So… do you know where she is, Kiryu-san?”, said Namba, trying to change the subject.
“All I know is that she went training in America, like Seonhee said. We’d lost contact over the years.”
“Actually, she’s back in Japan”, said Seonhee.
“Of course you know this too”, said Namba, a bit grumpy. “There’s something in the world you don’t know?”
Seonhee narrowed her eyes to him. Obviously, there was still some grudge between those two, like Saeko mentioned once to Kiryu at Survive Bar.
“Some of us have an actual job, you know?”, she said, staring at her perfect nails.
Before Namba could reply to this, Kiryu brought back the subject. “Is she back in Japan? When did that happen?”
“Many years ago, according to my info. You were known as Taichi Suzuki when she returned from overseas. So… if she tried to get in touch with you, I bet she was unable to.”
*
“I was actually surprised when I received your message, Date-san”, said Kaoru. “Thought you were avoiding me.”
Date slowly swirled his whisky, the ice clinking inside the glass. Differently from Kiryu, he was just at his first dose that night. Kaoru seated by his side at the bar and asked the bartender for a drink.
“What can I say? You can be really stubborn sometimes.”
“He used to call me that too.” She gave a sight after this, taking a sip from her drink. “But we’re detectives, being stubborn is part of the job.”
“Yeah. That makes a good detective, I suppose.”
“C’mon, Date-san. We both know that you were really avoiding me. There’s no point in denying now after that V-tuber stream about… about him.”
A few steps from them, Kiryu shifted uncomfortably on his seat.
“I didn’t have much choice.”
“Yeah, you’re annoyingly faithful to him. Never faltered all those years, despite I’ve been pressuring you at each opportunity I had.”
Date didn’t answer. He just took a sip from his glass, eyes low.
“I just… I just don’t understand, you know?”
“What?”
“Why he pushed back all the people who cared him most.”
“I find it difficult to understand too, but I believe he had his reasons. Knowing him, I guess he just thought that was the only way to protect everyone.”
She snorted. “So typical…”
“It’s just the way he is.”
“…and infuriating. But it’s one of his many charms, I suppose”, she said rather vaguely, her eyes lost in memories.
Kiryu faced his own reflection on the pale brown liquid. He looked old, and he couldn’t blame only his condition for that. Loneliness could do that to a man as well. The man Kaoru knew had gone years ago. He wasn’t sure he would be able to show this other man to her. To see the pain in her eyes… maybe even pity… it would be unbearable.
“Last time I saw him, I said I would be back… and would find him. And I tried, you know… I tried so hard. For years. And I waited… maybe I’m still waiting for him…” She looked at her left hand, her fingers trembling. “Aren’t I a faithful and good woman?”
Kiryu finished his whisky in one gulp, putting his glass on the wooden table with a bit more strength it was necessary. He left a ten thousand yen bill on the table beside the glass and stand up, leaving the bar. Then he immediately leaned his back on the wall, trying to breath. There was something blocking his throat, something that had its roots inside his heart, squeezing it with a fierce grasp. He knew it would be hard, but he didn’t think it would be that much. For all those years, he convinced himself that Kaoru was only a woman for whom he had a brief attraction, someone who shared with him brutal and painful moments, but also beautiful and sweet memories he cherished in the bottom of his heart, but now…
It wasn’t like his feelings for Yumi. When he left her ring on that church on Hawaii, he felt like he was finally saying goodbye to his long lost love. It was a quiet, delicate, bittersweet feeling, just like he felt about Yumi when she was alive.
But after seeing Kaoru again, he felt that old flame inside his chest, a powerful urge to be close to her, to hear her thoughts and strong resolutions, to see her strong-willed force that drove her actions and was always burning in her eyes.
And it was so hard to hear her saying those things… He convinced himself that she was fine, that she had forgot him a long time ago and was living her life just like he said she must do when they were standing at the top of that building in Kamurocho. But the truth was that she was still looking for him, still waiting, still attaching to their memories together like she held him close that night, when she was willing to die with him.
His phone vibrated. He looked at the screen and saw Date’s name.
Where are you? Are you ok?
Kiryu gave a deep sigh. Why was everyone asking all the time if he was ok these days? He wasn’t dead yet. Fine. Just needed some fresh air.
She went to the bathroom, but she’ll come back any minute now. What do I tell her? Do you still want to ser her?
Kiryu reflected for a minute. That thing was still blocking his throat. Why that was so hard?
You both deserve this, Kiryu.
After a while, Kiryu finally texted an answer to Date-san.
*
It was a quiet and starred night at Hamakita Park. Kiryu seated on a bench and took of his bucket hat, glad that there were few people at the park at that time. He leaned his head upon the bench and took off his glasses to rub his eyes, but it didn’t take long to his phone ring inside his pocket.
He looked at the screen and saw Kasuga’s happy face, with the crazy hair and that flowery shirt he used to wear these days. He put a selfie of him and Kiryu (a little grumpy, he had to admit) under the Hawaii sun alongside his contact in the phone.
Kiryu respond only to the voice call; he wasn’t in the mood for a video call right now. “Moshi, moshi.”
“Aloha, Kiryu-san!”, said the cheerful voice at the other side.
“Hey, Kasuga. There’s something wrong?”
“No, not at all! Well, the usual, some monsters here and there to defeat… I mean, thugs!” He giggled shyly. “But it’s fine here, still looking for my mom, you know, making some crazy deliveries…”
“I see. So, you called for…”
“Chitose-chan and Tomizawa ask me to say hello! And… I was wondering about those things we’d talk… you know… about… erm…”
Kiryu was well aware of what he was trying to say. “I met Saeko. She’s a beautiful, kind, and interesting woman, just like you said.”
“You did? And what did she say? Something about… me… by any chance?”
“I didn’t have the chance to talk to her about you yet, Kasuga. I’m sorry.”
He giggled again. “Ah, that’s okay… don’t worry, kyoudai… ops, sorry, Kiryu-san, I…”
“That’s okay, Kasuga, you can call me kyoudai if you want.” Actually, Kiryu kind of liked that. Somehow Ichiban Kasuga remembered him of Nishiki… Something in his voice, maybe. “And I just didn’t talk to her because I’d only meet her a few days ago. But don’t worry, I’ll call her for a drink or two.”
“Thank you so much, kyoudai!”
“She looks like she fonds you very much.”
“But just as a friend… right?”
“Don’t lose your hope yet, Kasuga.”
“Yeah… okay, okay.” And after a pause. “Namba told me he’s helping you with some list, or something like that…?”
“Ah, yeah… something like that. Namba is a good pal. You really made some good friends here, Kasuga.”
“And I’m sure they’re your friends now too, Kiryu-san!”
Kiryu opened a faint smile. “So, Kasuga… can I ask you something?”
“Me?! I mean… anything, kyoudai! Just name it!”
“Mm. If you had to talk to someone you didn’t meet for eighteen years… What would you say to her… to this person, I mean.”
“Well… Actually, I’ve been there, you know. I served eighteen years and, when I was out, I was so anxious to meet Arakawa-san… I still didn’t know he was my father at the time, although I considered him like one, nonetheless. I was nervous, but… I just needed to see him, you know. And every time I tried to talk to him, I end up saying what was inside my heart. I think that is for the best, Kiryu-san. Follow your heart, and everything will be all right, somehow. Today I am glad I had the chance to just see and talk to him, at least once. I cherish the memory of that day. If you have the chance, I think you should talk to her… to this person, I mean.”
And “this person” — or better saying, her — was now standing just a few steps from Kiryu.
Kaoru had a loving expression on her beautiful face, her eyes wet and her mouth slightly open. She didn’t look angry neither feeling sorry for him, like he was so afraid before. Her warm eyes told him she was glad to see him at last.
“Kasuga, I’m sorry, I have to go now. But I think I’ll follow your advice. Thanks.”
He hung up at the same time Kasuga said a cheerful “Ganbatte!”, getting on his feet to face her.
They stared each other in silence for a moment Kiryu couldn’t measure. Then Kaoru came closer, and they were just a few inches away. There was this solitary tear on her eyelash, ready to fall, and he caught it when it ran through her left cheek, feeling her warm and soft skin under his fingertips.
“Please, don’t cry, Kaoru.”
She cupped his face with both hands, and Kiryu felt an old, familiar warmness take over his entire body.
“Kazuma… I just can believe you’re really here at last. I…” And then her voice cracked. “I looked for you… for so long. I…”
And suddenly she threw herself into his arms, her face into his shoulder, her arms around his neck, their bodies glued to each other. Kiryu just held her inside that long-waited embrace, one arm around her waist while his other hand was gently cupping her head. She was sobbing now, her body shaking, hugging him so tight that it was almost painful — but it was also very nice indeed. For an instant, it was like being back in time, and he was thirty-seven again, meeting that beautiful, smart, and stubborn young woman, falling in love for her, holding her for a last time when both thought they could die. Even though they went on separate ways… he still cherished the time they spent together.
“I… I missed ya”, she said close to his ear after a while, catching her breath, but still holding him. “I’m so glad to see you again, Kazuma…”
Then she moved away just a bit to look at him, and when he faced her bright, strong-willed eyes, he understood exactly what Kasuga was saying before about following his heart. At that moment, Kiryu knew what he had to do. He didn’t foresee or plan that in any way — it just felt right. He wanted to live at the fullest while he could, didn’t he? No holding back anymore. No regrets. No loose ends.
He pulled her face closer, still holding the back of her head, bending just a bit to touch her lips with his.
And they were just as sweet as he remembered.
Kaoru looked surprised for a second, but it didn't take long for she kissed him back. She opened her mouth to let him in, arching her body backwards, and he took the opportunity to hold her back with his hand, deepening the kiss and exploring her mouth. It was so nice to let go all worries for a second and just be there with Kaoru, holding her small and warm body in his arms, feeling the scent of her perfume, loosing his breath for a good damn reason a change. For a brief moment, nothing else mattered, nothing besides kissing that beautiful woman under the stars…
“Hey, old man, who said you could have fun here at the park?”, said an unpleasant voice, interrupting them.
Kiryu and Kaoru moved away a bit, still holding each other, and looked to the group of thugs who had just surrounded them.
“Yeah, she’s too good for you, asshole”, said another man. “How about coming with us, beauty?”
Before Kiryu could take a step ahead, Kaoru looked at him with a smile and entered at fighting stance, saying, “Looks like some things never change with ya, right? I’m ready to beat the shit out of some punks beside ya again, Kaz. Shall we?”
Definitely that was an invitation he couldn’t refuse.
Kaoru Sayama
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