Chapter Text
I do not own any of these characters- they were created by the incredible Alice Oseman who is our Queen! I apologize for any grammar errors- I do have a learning disability that makes it hard for me to remember more than the most basic grammar rules. I really hope you love the story I am creating for you! This is based ONLY on the TV series.
The Bad Idea
Heartstopper AU FIC
‘What the hell was I thinking?’
That was the thought going through Charlie’s mind as his dad pulled away after dropping him off at Harry Greene’s 16th birthday party.
He wasn’t supposed to be there. It wasn’t like he was invited. Well, everyone was invited technically, but still. His casual invitation had been tossed at him like rugby ball by the rugby captain, Nick Nelson as they passed each other in the corridor.
It had been weird. They didn’t know each other or anything like that, but Nick Nelson seemed to always want to say Hi to Charlie every time they passed each other. Charlie supposed he was just trying to make up for what the last captain did.
Charlie Spring was a Year 10 at Truham Boys School and the only openly gay boy at school. It wasn’t by his choice. He’d been accidentally outed when someone over heard his friend Tao talking to another friend Issac when he was in Year 9 and that led to three months of pure hell. Tao had felt extremely guilty about it and Charlie only found out because Tao had gotten drunk on the anniversary of his dad’s death and confessed it.
Some people might have ended their friendship over that, but Charlie didn’t. He and Tao had been best friends since the first day of Year 7, when they were just 11 years old, and if there was one thing Charlie knew better then anyone it was how fiercely loyal Tao was to his friends. Charlie knew that Tao never would have outed him on purpose and the way his guilt clearly ate at him every day actually broke Charlie’s heart.
Things eventually died down after his art teacher, Mr. Ajayi, intervened. He kind of had to because the captain of the Rugby team, Euan McDougal, decided that Charlie being gay was so offensive to him that he threatened to kill him. He literally wrote it down in graphic detail. He was expelled for that and rugby was canceled for the rest of the school year, with Nick Nelson being named captain at the start of the new school year.
‘I shouldn’t be here.’
He really shouldn’t. Parties were not his thing. At least not big parties like this. He was supposed to be at Tao’s for a film night, but he canceled last minute because his grandmother, Po Po, had broken her ankle and been taken to the ED. Tao was very close with his family, especially after the loss of his dad, so he and his mum had immediately rushed off to be with her.
So, in a fit of boldness that he did not normally have, Charlie decided to say ‘Fuck it’ and go to Harry Greene’s birthday party.
Okay, the party wasn’t half bad, though it was a little loud and over the top. He’d met a cute Lesbian couple and followed them on Instagram (he knew them vaguely from Orchestra, but it was the first time he’d talked to them. Then Harry had interrupted them to shove Nick Nelson at one of the girls. Charlie noted that he looked extremely uncomfortable with this, but he decided to wander off and let Tara, his newly found friend, talk with the captain of the rugby team.
'This was a bad idea.'
It was while wandering around that he ran into his ex-boyfriend, Ben Hope.
Almost 2 months earlier Ben had tried to assault him when Charlie broke up with him. Well, he had assaulted him, though Charlie hated to remember it. If Ben hadn’t thought he heard someone coming and loosened his grip on Charlie long enough for Charlie to knee him in the nuts, Charlie wasn’t sure what would have happened to him.
When he came face to face with Ben in the corridor of the hotel, Charlie felt like a trapped animal. What Ben had done terrified him. He never wanted to see him again.
Predictably, Ben tried to grab at him again, but Charlie reacted instinctively and shoved him back into a wall. He never wanted to be touched by this person ever again. He would be glad to never think of him again.
He thought about calling his dad to pick him up, but it was another 2 hours before he needed to be picked up and it felt cowardly to try to run away. He was here to try to be brave, right?
Except instead of trying to mingle with people he decided he was just going to keep walking around, looking in random open rooms because he was bored as hell. Okay… he was trying to find a place to hide.
About 20 minutes after finding Ben, Charlie was sure he’d found the perfect spot when he found a ballroom that was open and seemingly deserted. He stepped inside and closed the door, sagging against it in relief.
“Are you hiding too?”
The voice startled Charlie and he looked around for a moment, then finally saw a figuring sitting on the floor under a window. It was Nick Nelson.
“Who said I’m hiding?” Charlie asked, hating how defensive he sounded.
“Well, I’m hiding,” Nick said with a shrug. He got up and walked over to Charlie. “Um, we haven’t met properly or anything. I’m Nick, Nick Nelson.”
“I know who you are,” Charlie said with a slight laugh. Who didn’t know who he was? “Sorry, that sounded much more ruder then I was intending. I’m Charlie Spring.”
Nick nodded and shook Charlie’s hand. “I wasn’t sure you were going to come to the party,” he admitted, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck nervously.
“Well, I was supposed to do film night with my friends, but it got canceled for an emergency, so I decided to be a martyr and offer myself to the Gods of Truham,” Charlie quipped.
Nick laughed and Charlie couldn’t stop the warm feeling that was spreading through him.
Okay, he’d found Nick attractive before. It was impossible not to. The guy had hair that was a mix of auburn and strawberry blond, gorgeous apple-cinnamon colored eyes, and was the fittest guy in school. It was impossible not to be attracted to him, especially some lanky, gay nerd like himself, but he’d never allowed himself to develop a crush on him. First, it was because he already had a boyfriend, then it was because he was still dealing with that shit from their break up, then it was just because this guy was clearly straight! Smart gay nerds did not get a crush on the straight boy who was also captain of the rugby team.
That was a majorly bad idea.
Yet, his stomach went all ooey gooey from his laugh.
‘Stop it,’ he chided his fragile heart.
‘No! I shan’t,’ it argued back.
“Well, I thank you for your sacrifice,” Nick teased back. Charlie noted that his eyes crinkled at the edges when he smiled, which made him look adorable.
'Calm down! He's a straight boy!'
'I am calm.'
“Why are you hiding?” Charlie asked as they both walked over the window Nick had been at before and sat down together, as if by some unspoken agreement.
“My friends. They seem determined to set me up with someone tonight. Like, I think I saw you talking with one of them."
“Tara Jones, yeah… you know you have no chance there,” Charlie chuckled.
“I don’t want a chance,” Nick said shaking his head. “Like, me and her, we kissed once at a party three years ago and it was… awful. Like, I don’t have a sister, but I imagine that it would feel like kissing your sister.”
“I do have a sister and…ugh” Charlie said, shuddering a little. “Don’t put a visual like that in my brain again,” he said pretending to shove Nick. Why did he do that? Why did it feel like they were old friends, just bantering at each other.
Nick laughed and shook his head. “Tara’s nice and everything, but definitely not my type anymore, and then there is Imogen.”
“Oh, I know Imogen, I tutor her in Maths.”
“You tutor people in Maths? So I could’ve gotten your help before?” Nick asked with a wink.
Charlies couldn't resist the slow, soft smile that he gave Nick. “All you had to do was ask.”
Nick groaned. “Maths is hell! Anyway, we’re getting off topic,” he said shaking his head.
“Are we, I thought we were definitely talking about how Maths is clearly the bane of your existence.”
“No… okay, maybe it is,” Nick laughed and bit his lower lip a little, which was incredibly distracting to Charlie. Did this guy understand just how devastatingly hot he was? And did he just glance at Charlie's lips?
‘Incoming Straight Boy Crush!’
“But you did ask why I was hiding,” Nick pointed out.
“Fine, fine, we’ll talk about your lack of Maths skills later,” ‘After I crush your lips under mine.’ ‘What the hell Charlie, stay on track.’ “Go on then, Imogen.”
“Okay, well, I’ve know Imogen since Year 7 and we’ve always been good friends. Like, I like her more than my rugby mates, but… never romantically or anything like that. The thing is, everyone is expecting us to get together, so they’re pushing this whole dating thing now.” Nick sighed. “Like, she actually grabbed me on the dance floor and tried to dance with me,” Nick groaned.
“Wow, someone wanting to dance with you, sounds like hell,” Charlie teased, though was once again distracted by the way Nick laughed and bit his lip as he glanced at him. That definitely felt like a flirty glance.
“It is when it’s not someone you’re interested in,” Nick argued good-naturedly. “And honestly, I can’t dance!”
“Yeah right.”
“No, seriously! I might be okay at rugby, but I am definitely not good at other things that require movement.”
Charlie laughed and shook his head. “Okay, so that’s why you’re hiding, so you don’t have to dance with her or potentially kiss her?”
"Exactly. She’s really sweet, but I have no idea how to tell her I’m just not into her like that.” Nick looked at Charlie. “What about you? Why are you hiding?”
“Besides the fact that I’m an introvert at a loud party?” Nick laughed at Charlie’s quip and Charlie continued. “I ran into my ex-boyfriend. Things ended… epically bad. So… I didn’t want to risk seeing him again.”
“I’m sorry,” Nick said softly.
“Why are you sorry? You didn’t do anything wrong. It was like you flipped out when you got dumped and…” Charlie shook his head. “Anyway, no apologizing. I have that lot in life reserved.”
“Oh really?”
“Yeah.” They both laughed. “So, what is your type?” When he saw Nick’s questioning glance, Charlie shrugged. “You said Imogen wasn’t your type. I’m curious what girl is.”
“It’s complicated.”
Charlie couldn’t help rolling his eyes. “Right, because it must be so complicated for the straight, hot rugby guy to get dates.”
Nick chuckled a little nervously. “You… you’re just going to assume I’m straight?”
Time stood still for a moment as Charlie stared at Nick. He would have been less shocked if Nick had grown a pair of antennae and sprouted wings from his chest. Did Nick Nelson, Star Player of the Rugby Team, Captain of the Rugby team and most popular guy in school just say he wasn’t straight?
“Are... A-are you not straight?” he asked, his words coming out a bit strangled.
“Um…” Nick looked away, looking like he wasn’t sure what to say. It took him a long time to speak, Charlie was sure it was over a minute, but he didn’t want to interrupt him. “Yeah… Um, no… n-not straight,” he finally said.
“Oh,” Charlie said softly, trying not to have a gay panic moment, because all his brain kept screaming was ‘He’s not straight, he’s not straight’ and that wasn’t helpful to him in this situation. “Okay… so, where do you fall on the rainbow?” he asked, trying to keep his voice lighthearted. No need for Nick to know that he was starting to have a gay panic moment because he just found out that the hottest guy in school, which he definitely did not have a crush on, might be available to him.
“Um… I’m b-bisexual,” Nick admitted. “I… I’ve never told anyone before,” he admitted.
Charlie felt honored that Nick came out to him first. It was really hard when you were coming out. “That’s cool.”
“Yeah?” he asked. “I just… like, some people don’t believe that bisexual people exist,” Nick whispered.
“Well, I’m not one of them. No bi-erasure from this gay boy.” Nick laughed at that. “When did you figure it out?”
“Uh, well, I think it was a long time coming,” Nick admitted. “But… there’s this guy who really kind of started it in January. Like… I saw him and I felt like my stomach had just dropped out me.” Charlie smiled. He understood that feeling very well. “But, like I didn’t understand it. I… I couldn’t get him out of my mind, like… he’s got to be the prettiest boy I’ve ever seen.”
“Yeah?” Charlie asked, a smile on his face. The gay panic was fading and while a small part of him felt a little sad that Nick had a crush, a bigger part of him was happy that Nick had clearly found himself. “Tell me more.”
“No… if I give too many details, you’ll know who he is.” Nick was blushing then. “Anyway, it was around Valentines day that it hit me that I had an actual crush on this guy and didn't just admire him.”
“Were you stalking his Instagram?”
“No! I would never,” Nick said, but he was blushing. “I might have stalked one of his friends Instagrams,” he added a moment later, a nervous giggle escaping him. “But that wasn’t why it hit me. I saw him outside of school, at Davey Jones. He definitely didn’t see me, but he was with his friends and just… I just wanted to run inside and kiss him. Like he looks good in uniform, but in regular clothes... he's should come with a warning label for all of us poor, bi boys. I thought I was going to have a stroke from seeing him.”
“Wow, intense.”
Nick nodded. “Yeah… so I started to research into myself.”
“And that’s when you realized you’re bisexual.”
“Yeah… but… I think I might actually be a bisexual with a preference,” Nick admitted.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, one thing I learned is that just because I’m bi doesn’t mean I don’t have a dating preference. It’s actually pretty common. See, I’ve… I’ve never really wanted to date girls even though I’ve been attracted to them. Like, I’ve kissed a few girls, and it was fun... at least once, but I never really wanted to date them.”
“But you want to date this guy?”
“Yeah… and it wasn’t just him either.”
“Oh, do tell.”
Nick laughed. “Wait, why am I the one who’s revealing everything? You need to tell me something.”
“I’m an open book,” Charlie said with a shrug. “Just your typical gay nerd.”
“You can run,” Nick said softly. “Like, everyone talks about it,” he added quickly, his cheeks flushing pink again.
‘There is no way anyone is talking about the way you run,’ his mind whispered.
“Okay… I can run. I can also play the drums,” Charlie added, feeling quite proud of his drumming ability.
“You play the drums? That’s so cool,” Nick said, his voice cracking, his cheek flushing an even darker shade of pink.
“Thanks,” Charlie said looking away, feeling shy all of a sudden. He wasn’t used to getting compliments from people who didn’t know him. “Okay, I told you something about me, tell me about these other guys.”
“Okay, well, most are unattainable, you know like… celebrities, but there was my instructor when I went to rugby summer camp—”
“You went to rugby summer camp?”
“Yeah,” Nick said with a smile. “Why?”
“Nothing, that’s just so adorable,” Charlie said, shaking his head, an amused smile on his lips.
Was Nick staring at his lips again? It felt like it and Charlie once again felt his body flush warm. There was an intensity in that stare, then it seemed like it was gone and Nick was once again just smiling normally.
“Yeah well… I was completely obsessed with him. I even got a trophy for being the best team player,” Nick said proudly. “I would also fantasize about going with him to the park or the cinema or a rugby game… I never felt like that with Tara and I think I did have an intense crush on her for like a year… or maybe I thought I was supposed to but I just liked her a as friend.” Nick shook his head. “I’m not sure.”
“Any other guys?”
“Well, there is this guy at the cinema. Dark hair, blue eyes… exactly my type,” Nick said, his eyes going a little dreamy. “I mean, he doesn’t have curls or anything and that’s kind of my weakness…” he trailed off, seeming to realize what he said because Charlie noticed his cheeks were bright red now.
Charlie felt like his mouth had gone completely dry. Nick had a physical type and he was sure that he ticked each one of Nick’s boxes.
'Stop getting your hopes up.’
‘ Shut up!’
‘ No, he’s a heartbreak!’
‘Shut up!’
“So you want to date this cinema boy?”
“What? No! No, I mean… yeah if I wasn’t already… I… God, I’m not explaining this right.” He sounded a little out of breath to Charlie, as if he was forgetting how to breathe. “Like… I thought about it, you know before I started realizing everything. Like, I thought about what it would be like to go out with him and kiss him and... I think about kissing… this one guy all the time.”
“You’re not talking about Cinema Boy anymore, are you?” When Nick shook his head. Charlie thought about it for a moment, trying to find the right words. Trying to be brave. “So… you’ve never kissed a boy?”
Nick swallowed hard as he looked at Charlie. “No,” he admitted.
“But you want to?”
He looked terrified right then. Charlie could understand that. It was one thing to say you wanted to kiss a boy and another when someone who might be willing to kiss you was asking that question. He looked at Charlie and once again, Charlie saw him staring at his lips. He was not imagining this, Nick wanted to kiss him. Nick had mentioned seeing a boy at school in January that started his bi-awakening and Charlie couldn’t help but wonder if it was him. Nick was always saying Hi to him. Nick was always trying to get his attention. Nick had even once asked if he wanted to join the rugby team, but he’d been with Tao and Tao had laughed it off.
Oh God… was he really Nick’s crush?
“I do,” Nick whispered.
Charlie didn’t know what possessed him but he slid a finger along Nick’s hand. It felt like there were literal sparks coming off of them from that touch. He wasn’t sure why he was feeling so bold or so sure, but he couldn’t stop. This was a cute guy that he’d been low-key crushing on for months, which he could admit now that he knew he wasn’t straight, but he was also so scared. What If he said no? He took a soft breath in and then spoke. “Do you want to kiss me?” Charlie asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
Nick looked down at their hands, then at Charlie. His eyes went from Charlie’s lips to his eyes back to his lips again. He swallowed hard, clearly trying to find his own courage in this moment. He nodded a little. “Yeah,” he whispered breathlessly.
Charlie leaned forward, not closing his eyes until Nick did, wanting to be sure that this was really what he wanted. He had to suppress a shudder of pure desire and contentment that ran through him when his lips touched Nick’s. The kiss was soft and gentle, only two soft touches of their lips, and Charlie felt like his world was ending.
They both pulled away at the same moment, Nick looking like a range of emotions was flittering over his face. Charlie was sure he'd lost his mind. Why had he just kissed a boy he didn’t know at Harry Greene’s party? He looked at Nick who was staring at him. Nick slid his into Charlie’s as if he was trying to say something but couldn’t speak and somehow, Charlie knew that Nick wanted to kiss him again.
He reached a hand out, sliding it along Nick neck and up to his jaw, pulling his close and kissed him again. The word didn’t end this time… it exploded. He literally saw flashes of stars in his eyelids as if he'd been hit with an explosion of color that he couldn't look at. He felt Nick grab his shoulder and pull him tighter to him, the kiss deepening as if neither of them wanted it to end. Charlie felt a mix of pleasure and happiness and devastation all one once. He’d never kissed anyone like this. No one had ever kissed him like this. They clung to each other, as if the world would fall apart if either of them were separated.
Still… they had to breathe eventually, and when they finally broke their kiss. Nick looked both shocked and terrified and thrilled all at once. Charlie could understand that feeling. “You okay,” he asked softly, his hand running down to Nick’s shoulder.
He started to smile. “I…”
“Nick, are you up there?” Harry’s voice broke their small bubble and Nick looked towards the door, fear on his face. “Come on, mate, I just want to talk!”
In the next moment Nick jumped to his feet and Charlie took a deep breath. He was going to leave, just like Ben always did. Just like every closeted boy would. He couldn’t look at Nick, feeling shame wash over him. Why had he kissed some boy he didn’t know? It wasn’t like Nick was actually interested in him.
Then he heard a clicking sound and saw that Nick wasn’t leaving… he was locking the door. He went back to Charlie and sat beside him and smiled. “I… I really liked it,” he whispered, finally answering Charlie’s question.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah… Can we kiss again?”
“Yeah,” Charlie said with a whisper. This time it was Nick who pulled him close, kissing him deeply, hungrily. It was as if he was starving for Charlie. He wrapped his arms around Nick, pressing closer to him. He’d never felt like this when he kissed his fling in Almeria. He certainly never felt like this when he kissed Ben. Kissing Nick was an absolute dream.
Their kiss became more and more intense the longer it went on. It was like they’d been waiting for each other for centuries and couldn’t stop now that they were together. Somehow, Charlie was in Nick’s lap, straddling him, his hands running along Nick’s neck and through the base of his hair, reveling in the softness he felt. It was a moan of desire, from both of them, that finally broke this kiss.
They were both gasping for air, both seemed shocked at the position their bodies were in, but neither of them pulled or pushed away. It felt right. At least Charlie was sure it felt right to both of them.
“Was it me?” Charlie asked, leaning forward and brushing his lips against Nick’s jawline without thinking.
“W-what do you mean?” Nick asked, clearly unable to keep a clear thought in his mind.
“Your bi-awakening moment. You said it was someone in school. Was it me?”
Nick nodded without any hesitation. “Yeah… you were running in PE and… I couldn’t take my eyes off you.” He touched Charlie’s lips, reverently, as if he couldn’t believe he was actually there. “God, I wanted to kiss you even then. I wanted you so badly,” he whispered.
“Want me like… make out, or…want me like…date?”
“Both,” Nick whispered, pulling Charlie’s lips to his own for a few moments. “Be my boyfriend?”
“We barely met an hour ago,” Charlie tried to argue then gasped when he felt Nick’s lips against his neck. Okay… if there had been any doubt that Nick was into him before, it was definitely gone now. “Nick…” he gasped softly.
Nick pulled back a moment. “Was that okay?” he asked, clearly worried he was crossing a line.
“Yeah,” Charlie said, unable to stop the giggle that slipped out, then Nick started giggling and the two of them just buried their faces in the other’s shoulder as they tried to get their giggle-fest under control.
“I want to be your boyfriend, Charlie,” Nick finally said once he could talk. “I want to kiss you and hold your hand and take you to the cinema and that park and anywhere you want to go,” Nick whispered, kissing Charlie’s lips and cheek and neck with each place that he whispered.
“The beach?”
“Anything you want. Just let me be yours,” Nick whispered, kissing Charlie’s lips again. “I’ll do anything to be with you. Please say yes. Please.”
Charlie smiled and nodded, feeling like he was in a dream. If this was really happening then they needed to figure things out without kissing, but right now Charlie just wanted to kiss his boyfriend. His boyfriend. He smiled at Nick and nodded. “Yes… I’ll be your boyfriend,” he whispered, kissing him again, pouring all of himself into that kiss.
They stayed like that, just kissing and exploring each other, within reason, until it was time for Charlie to get picked up from his dad.
“I’ll text you later,” he told Nick who just smiled and shook his head. “Not if I text you first,” he teased. They walked down the stairs together, Nick holding Charlie’s hand and not letting it go for anything. He didn’t seem to care who saw and it made Charlie feel like… this time would finally be different.
When he got home and checked his phone he saw a message, saying he had a new follower request. It was from Nick and there was already a message.
Nick- Goodnight, Boyfriend ❤❤❤
Charlie looked at it and had to suppress another giggle that wanted to bubble out of him. He had a boyfriend. Maybe going to the party wasn’t actually a bad idea.
