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Hearing about Satoru being the perfect housewife never gets old, and truth be told, he really is. Submissive, obedient, and caring – he embodies those qualities effortlessly.
Whenever Satoru casually strolls—be it gliding through the aisles of the grocery store, refueling at the gas station, or casually taking a relaxed walk at his husband's enterprises—heads turn in his direction. People are consistently left in awe every time he proudly reveals he's a mother of two, whipping out his phone to show off the wallpaper of himself surrounded by his sons and husband, defying all expectations because he simply doesn't look the part. With that perpetual youthful glow, people often mistake him for a teenager playing dress-up, raiding his mother's closet for heels and makeup.
But as Satoru reveals that, everything suddenly clicks. His aura is so motherly and gentle that it makes you yearn to follow him home. The mere thought of curling up on his sofa, breathing in the aroma of his freshly baked cookies, and feeling the unspoken promise of bedtime stories becomes irresistible. As if that wasn't enough, his physique, adorned with plump hips, plushie thighs, and breasts, is perfect, and his slim waist is just the right combination.
They crumble. Every last one of them. A defeated sigh escapes their lips as they all think the same thought, "Oh, to be Satoru-san's husband."
The Ryoumen Household
"Mommy!" Satoru startles as the front door swings open.
Glancing at the clock, he realizes his precious is home from school. Quickly wiping his hands on his apron, he rushes towards the sound of the voice.
But it's too late, his son is already in the kitchen. "Mommy, mommy, mommy!!!" The little one wraps his arms around Satoru's legs.
"Aww," Satoru's heart melts, and he grins, crouching down to his adorable five-year-old, "Did you miss mama a whole bunch, Yuu-yuu?"
Yuuji nods enthusiastically, "Yes-t!" he says, making Satoru giggle. With a recently lost tooth, his son now talks in the cutest babble. "I think of mommy all the time," he pouts.
Satoru tenderly ruffles Yuuji's hair with his fingers, "Only mommy? My precious, you should also practice writing your name, not just thinking of mama all the time." He playfully scolds, keeping a warm smile.
"But Yuujin misses mommy!" Yuuji stomps his little feet. Oh no, tears are coming.
Satoru shushes him and plants gentle kisses on his chubby cheek, "Okay, okay. I know, baby, mama understands. No need to cry."
His son immediately stops crying, though it's a failed attempt, as his lips continue to wobble, and he struggles to catch his breath. "P-Papa said men shouldn't cry, so Yuujin won't cry," he explains..
The white-haired man rolls his eyes, "Papa said that?"
"Mn." Yuuji nods, "Y-Yuujin have to be brave in front of mommy so Yuujin won't cry again."
Choso steps into the kitchen, dropping his car keys on the island. "Yuuji really, really misses you, Mom. Seriously." He heads to the refrigerator for the water pitcher and grabs a glass from the dish rack. "No kidding. His feelings are genuine." Pouring himself a glass of water, he takes a sip.
Satoru sighs and scoops up Yuuji, settling him on his hip as he walks towards his older son. "Well, did you miss mama too, hmm?" He playfully reaches up on tiptoes to plant a kiss on Choso's cheek, making Yuuji to chime in, "Me too, mommy! Kiss!"
Choso turns different shades of red, nearly spitting out his water. "Tch," he mumbles, dodging the question. "I see you every day."
After showering Yuuji's face with kisses, Satoru chuckles, "Why can't you be more like your father and brother? They've practically earned a PhD in missing me. Right, Yuu-yuu?" He winks playfully, pecking his younger son's cheek once again.
"When did they ever not miss you? Remember those work-from-home days? Papa still misses you, even though you're just lounging around the house," Choso adds with an eye roll.
"Speaking of your father," Satoru informs his older son, "He told me he'll be having guests tonight."
"Guests... as in Kento-san and Uraume-san?"
Satoru shakes his head as he lets his hand be played by Yuuji. "Baby, I thought you knew? Weren't you out with your father before scooping up Yuuji from school?"
"I was, but he didn't mention it."
Satoru sighs, "As much as I hoped for Kento and Uraume, your father's bringing in guests from rival companies. A dinner invite, of all things."
"Seriously?" Choso raises an eyebrow, "That old man wouldn't share a toothpick with those guys even if the world was burning. They've been at each other's throats since day one because, you know, companies don't do friends and dinners."
Satoru agrees. Sukuna never liked those guys, and much as those guys don't like him. They see each other as a threat for their companies. But Satoru wonders what changes this time. The text from Sukuna, brief and cryptic, offers no clues, no explanation. Just a curt, "Dinner tonight. Business guests. Love you."
Choso glances at the messy counter. A half-marinated roast sits amidst a flurry of spices and scattered utensils. "What's that you're preparing, by the way?"
Satoru looks in the same direction, beaming. "Oh, that's our dinner!" he announces proudly. "Wouldn't want those fancy guests of your father to think Ryoumen Sukuna's wife couldn't whip up a feast~" He puffs out his cheeks, a pout crossing his glossed lips.
Concern crosses Choso's face as he looks at his mother. "Ma, that old dad of ours should know better than to burden you with kitchen duty. Did papa ask you to cook? If he did, I'm going to have a serious talk with him." And maybe throw in a light punch to knock some sense into his father. "You shouldn't have to cook for anyone," he insists. His mother doesn't cook, and the idea of his father making his mother prepare dinner, who is oblivious to the kitchen, makes his blood boil.
Satoru laughs nervously, waving a dismissive hand. "No, no, baby! I wanted to do it. It's not a burden, it's..." He pauses, searching for the right words. "It's about showing our appreciation for your papa's guests."
Choso snorts, "Who cares what they think, ma?" he argues, his gaze softening as he notices the flour smudged on his cheek. "Ordering takeout would be so much easier. And look at you, all dusty."
Satoru's hair is sticking out everywhere; his clothes look a bit disheveled, mirroring the scattered state of the kitchen. "Right..." Satoru puts Yuuji down, who protests with whines. "Later, Yuu-yuu, mommy is dirty. I forgot."
Yuuji starts throwing a tantrum, kicking his feet and crying. "Come here, Yuuji," Choso says, offering his arms. Yuuji quickly climbs into them, "We'll leave mommy for now, okay? He's busy." Choso gently wipes away his little brother's tears and snot.
Yuuji's bottom lip trembles. "But Yuujin wants mama..." He hiccups.
Satoru smiles sadly, "Mommy is cooking our dinner, my love. I need to focus on not burning the house down into a barbecue pit. Play with Choso-nii for a moment, okay? Can you do that? Can you behave for mommy while mommy's not with you?" He uses his thumb to wipe the tears from Yuuji's eyes and then caresses his sweaty hair.
"Yuuji, mama asks you a favor," Choso scolds gently, "Answer it."
Satoru smacks his older son's bicep, "Choso-kun!"
"Stop babying him all the time, ma." Choso defends, "You're spoiling him too much."
"Well, he's a baby!"
Yuuji finally catches his breath and calms down, "O-Okay... Y-Yuujin will behave for mommy.." He sniffles.
Satoru chuckles, "Good boy, Yuu-yuu."
Ryoumen-Gojo Satoru is indeed the perfect housewife, but does his lack of cooking skills really make a difference?
Hours have passed, and Sukuna's guests have finally arrived, earlier than Satoru expects. But that doesn't change anything, he is already halfway through finishing the tenderloin.
Choso sneaks into the kitchen, informing him that Zenin Toji and Geto Suguru are the guests, accompanied surprisingly by their children and wives.
Satoru's ears perk at the names. Well, they aren't just names, these guests of Sukuna's are big shots, ranking only second to Sukuna himself in their company's financial hierarchy.
His older son then immediately leaves to keep an eye on Yuuji, who is playing with the son of Zenin Toji and the daughters of Geto Suguru. It warms Satoru's heart to hear his young one making friends.
The chatter of Sukuna, his husband, and their guests fills the dining area as they await Satoru and the dinner. Satoru can hear the laughter of women, undoubtedly the wives of Zenin and Geto.
Now, Satoru is all finished. The Beef Tenderloin Roast is ready to be served. He takes a bite on a fork to test it out, and it surpasses his expectations. Delicious. Even more flavorful than the restaurant Sukuna usually orders from. It boosts Satoru's confidence a bit.
But it quickly goes down when he remembers the wives in the dining room. He groans, looking at his state, it doesn't look good. He looks really messy, and he bets those women look expensive and classy.
Shit. Satoru has to change. Quickly, he heads upstairs to their bedroom and opens his closet.
He picks out whatever dress he can and quickly changes. Then he realizes what he picked is not for a simple house dinner occasion, this was a declaration of war! He glances at himself in the mirror and his eyes widened.
It was the dress. The one that whispered seduction and stole the spotlight. It's a black sleeveless dress, the silk hugged every curve, reaching only to his thighs, with a daring slit on his left side. This happens to be Sukuna's favorite dress of his, reserved for theater performances or award ceremonies.
He debates whether to wear this or change, thinking maybe it's too much. But then he remembers the wives. The wives, Satoru, the wives! A sudden sense of competitiveness rushes through him. He clenches his fists. He wouldn't be outshone. Sukuna's wife wouldn't be some wallflower. He was Ryoumen Sukuna's, and he'd show them just what that meant.
He quickly fixes his hair, not doing much, just taming his spikes by combing it. And adding a bit of makeup—a sharp eyeliner, his favorite. He curls his eyelashes to make them longer. Keeping the natural color of his lips, he applies a Dior lip gloss, and then he's finished.
Satoru's breath hitches, "Damn," He observes himself in the full-length mirror again, "I look hot." He didn't just look good. He looked divine.
He smirks to himself. It's showtime.
As Satoru returns to the kitchen, heat-proof mittens protecting his fingers from the sizzling tenderloin, he calls for his son, "Choso! Mama needs a hand, please!"
Sukuna's guests overhear him, their whispers carrying like smoke in the air. Satoru sighs.
"Coming, ma!" Just then, Choso bursts in, eyes wide with surprise at the sight of his mother. His clumsiness takes over, and he stumbles, landing with a pained groan on the cold marble floor.
Panic tinges Satoru's hear, "C-Choso!" Satoru exclaims, setting down the tenderloin and removing his heat protection mittens. He rushes to his son's side. "What happened, baby?" He helps Choso up, eyes scanning his son for injuries.
Choso gulps, "M-Mom… I… shit." He struggles to find the words, desperately trying to avert his gaze from the low-cut neckline of his dress, breasts threatening to spill with every move.
Satoru pouts playfully. "What's wrong? Don't you like mama's dress?"
"No, that's not it!" Choso quickly clarifies, clearing his throat, "You look... absolutely stunning, ma. A goddess, truly.."
Satoru blushes at his son's compliment and plants a kiss on his nose. "Thank you, my love. That's exactly the effect I was going for. Now, come help mommy set the table, alright?"
Choso, speechless, wipes away the kiss-smudge lip gloss on his nose and assists his mother, carrying plates and utensils while Satoru brings in the dish.
As they enter the dining room, everyone is already seated. Yuuji sits on his father's lap, and the other children have taken their seats.
"Oi, Choso, I heard a noise!" Sukuna booms, thinking they're still in the kitchen. "Is your mother al—" He freezes mid-sentence, the words swallowed by the sight of his wife walking in, the tenderloin held high.
Yet it's not the tenderloin that seizes everyone's attention.
Satoru, all dolled up, fully enters, and every head snaps, eyes locked onto him as he glides in. His arrival is an event. Heads whip around, tracking his every move. It's as if a spotlight follows him. Their gazes linger on his every step until he places the dish in the center of the table.
Toji breaks the stunned silence with a low whistle, his eyes scanning Satoru from head to toe. "Delicious," he drawls, leaving everyone wondering whether he's referring to the food or something else.
Satoru throws him a playful smile and a giggle. "You haven't even tasted it, Toji-san," he teases, helping Choso set plates and utensils around the table.
The man smirks, "Damn right I haven't," he winks, "Yet."
Zenin Toji's wife discreetly clears her throat, "Allow me to assist, darling," She offers to Satoru with a forced smile.
Once the table is set, Satoru takes a seat beside Sukuna at the head of the table, bringing Yuuji onto his lap.
"Pretty mommy!" Yuuji exclaims staking his claim on Satoru's lap, facing him, while his small hands cup his mommy's cheeks, "Mine!"
Satoru laughs, kissing the insides of Yuuji's wrist. "All yours, baby."
"Sharing is caring, you know," Geto Suguru interrupts, throwing everyone off.
Choso, seated on his father's left side of the table, raises a brow. "What now?" He deadpans.
Satoru steps in, sensing his son's readiness to pounce. "Choso—"
"I was talking about the tenderloin, Choso-kun," Suguru smiles, his eyes squinting. "Come now, Toji-san, pass it over. The food might go cold before it even reaches..." Then he shifts his gaze to Satoru, adding, "Sukuna's wife."
Satoru chuckles at the joke, but it seems he's the only one who laughed. He quickly clears his throat. The dinner has barely started!
As Geto Suguru's wife finishes distributing food to her kids, she hands the dish to Satoru, who accepts it with a smile.
"Oooh! Mommy, Yuujin's hungry!" Yuuji announces, eagerly eyeing the feast.
"Patience, baby. You'll get your fill," Satoru reassures as he prepares Yuuji's favorite portions of the beef. Then he puts some on Sukuna's plate too. "Do you want this part, honey?"
Sukuna hums.
Once Satoru finishes piling up his husband's plate, he passes it to Choso, who mumbles a grateful "Thank you, ma."
The clinking of silverware fills the air as they begin eating. This dinner wasn't what Satoru expected – it's pure torture in silence. Yet, he can't blame them. These three men clearly have more beef with each other than the steak on their plates. It's a miracle Sukuna invited them for dinner.
"Say 'ahh,' Yuu-yuu," Satoru says, and Yuuji obediently opens his mouth, swallowing the beef.
"So Yuuji-kun here still doesn't eat by himself?" Satoru's head perks up at the mention of his son. It's Zenin Toji's wife who asks.
Satoru chuckles, "H-He does sometimes when he's in a mood." And then he guides another spoonful of beef into Yuuji's mouth.
"But isn't he old enough to be still babied?" She questions, eyeing Satoru's son with skepticism, "My Megumi here is the same age as yours, but look, he already eats by himself." She boasts, looking proudly at her son.
Satoru clenches his fist under the table and exhales. Who the hell is this woman, and why is she questioning the way he raises his son? Mind her own son, for Christ's sake.
"Not your Megumi," The child, with unruly hair and an annoyed expression, interjects. Clearly having none of it.
The woman nervously laughs, "O-Of course, Megumi..."
Satoru raises a brow, then stole a glance at his older son, who's already looking at him. Satoru throws him the look, and his son quickly understands it.
Choso clears his throat, "I'm sorry, but what does Megumi-kun mean? If it's too personal, feel free to ignore." He says, sipping his juice.
Right on the ball, Choso! Satoru mentally cheers, already planning to grant him extended curfew privileges for saving his mama right there!
The woman isn't too pleased with Choso's question. She's about to ignore it when Toji speaks for her, "She's not Megumi's mom," he casually reveals, still chewing his food, "She's my assistant."
"Your girlfriend," the woman corrects.
"Yeah, right. Whatever," Toji shrugs.
Satoru bites the bottom of his lip, exchanging glances with his son, who's fighting back laughter. Just as he's about to burst, he playfully kicks his older son under the table, silently warning him not to laugh, no matter what happens.
"I think it's perfectly okay for Yuuji-kun to be babied," Suguru chimes, catching Satoru's attention. "I mean, he won't stay little forever, right? Satoru-chan?"
Satoru nods, "Y-Yes. Better to savor the moment," he says, reminiscing about the emotional rollercoaster he experienced when Choso stepped into college. His first baby is not so baby anymore!
"Besides, he's only five," Toji adds, "Even my gumi still demands cuddles sometimes, despite his newfound independence. Do your thing with Yuuji – he's your son."
Woah. Satoru wasn't expecting lots of assists, but he kind of feels grateful for it, "Thank you, Geto-san, Zenin-san." He bows his head lightly.
"Call me Toji."
"Suguru's just fine."
Satoru blinks and nods nervously, "Hai."
"So," Sukuna begins, making Satoru flinch as he wipes his mouth with a cloth, "Twins, huh?" He nods towards Suguru's daughters. "I've always wanted one."
Satoru lowers his gaze, spoon hovering mid-air. Sukuna never mentioned that before. Why now? During dinner with his rivals?
Suguru chuckles, brushing a stray strand of brown hair from his daughter's cheek. "Just got lucky, I guess?"
"Tell you, Sukuna-san," Suguru's wife starts, "It's hard to have twins. Especially if it's your first time, and you have to be at the enterprises all the time? Definitely not recommended." She says, "But since you and Satoru-san already have two of your own, maybe you can handle it better than we did."
Sukuna huffs, an amused expression on his face. "You speak of having twins as if it's a walk in the park? Twins don't just show up with one night."
"We did it in one night," Suguru says.
"Can you all please stop talking about sex? There are children in here," Megumi, Toji's son, grunts.
Satoru couldn't hold back his laughter this time, hiding his mouth with the back of his hand, "Oh my! That's very wordy, Megumi-kun! I like you already~"
Megumi's eyes soften as he blushes, "T-Thank you." He says, as if what Satoru said was a compliment, "Some say I'm really smart for my age."
"And you confirmed that theory just now." Satoru grins.
Toji sighs, "Well, what can I say? He gets it from me." Ruffling Megumi's already unruly hair, making the child glare at him.
"You're embarrassing me in front of Yuuji's pretty mommy, stop," Megumi says, slapping his father's hand away from his hair.
Satoru's face turns a deep shade of red, seeing how pale he is, he probably resembles a ripe tomato. "I know, right?!" Yuuji bounces on his lap, causing Satoru to instinctively hold onto his son tightly. "Mommy's the prettiest ever!" he shouts, arms flailing.
In the midst of the excitement, the thin strap of Satoru's dress slips off his left shoulder, "Baby, sit still," He pleads with Yuuji, but the little one is too busy proclaiming his mom's beauty to Megumi.
Suguru fakes a gasp, "Yuuji-kun," making Yuuji stop. Satoru appreciates the rescue as he fixes the strap back onto his shoulder, "So you're saying that even Mimiko, Nanako, and Megumi's mom are not pretty?"
A heavy silence descends upon the room. Satoru takes it back. He doesn't want to thank Suguru anymore. He glances at his baby, who's seriously thinking about what to say, "I-I don't think Yuuji meant it that way, Suguru-san—"
"Yes!" Yuuji interjects, "My mommy is even prettier than Miko, Nako, and Gumi's mom! He's the prettiest of them all!" Satoru's heart sinks at his son's words. He hurriedly covers Yuuji's mouth in a desperate attempt to silence him. But that doesn't stop Yuuji from speaking through the palm, his voice muffled.
"Yuuji, that wasn't very nice," Satoru scolds, causing Yuuji's protests to cease as he meets his mother's gaze, eyes brimming with unshed tears. "You're going to be sleeping in your own room tonight," He declares.
Yuuji's eyes water, shaking his head. Satoru sighs, his precious is clearly scared by sleeping all alone in his room, so he decides to let him sleep in the bed with him and Sukuna. However, Yuuji's just been very naughty tonight, and Satoru couldn't think of a suitable punishment.
Choso whistles, "Sucks to be you, Yuuji. That used to be my biggest fear when I was young."
"Choso." Satoru warns, "Stop provoking your brother."
"Sorry."
Yuuji starts crying, and Satoru can feel his lips wobbling against his palm. His son keeps shaking his head, "Stop crying," Satoru says, "We're in front of your papa's guests. Aren't you ashamed? Cut it out right now."
Sukuna inches his chair closer to Satoru, the sound of chair screeching, "Come. Give him to me," he offers.
But Yuuji refuses too, not when his mommy is mad at him, "Ryoumen Yuuji, if I remove my hand, you will not cry, understood?"
Yuuji hastily nods, eager to please his mama. Satoru does what he says and exhales in relief when all he can hear is Yuuji's hiccups.
"Ma—" Yuuji hiccups, "Mama, I sorry... p-please." He hugs his mother's arm.
Sukuna caresses his crying son's hair, "Come here, boy. Sit on papa's lap instead. Don't listen to mama, you will sleep in our bed later, okay?"
Satoru shoots his husband a disapproving look, displeased with Sukuna's choice of words. He doesn't appreciate Sukuna twisting his intentions. Choso's right. Satoru's been coddling Yuuji too much, and now he's a brat who cries every time just because he wants to.
But that seems to get Yuuji's attention as he goes to his father's arms. The movement makes Satoru's dress strap fall again, this time on both shoulders.
"Shh, shh... stop crying, I know, I know, we'll punish mama later..." Sukuna keeps whispering things into his son's ears.
Satoru can't help but notice how much Yuuji resembles his father. He's the exact replica. Even Choso doesn't look like Satoru at all. Choso got his looks from Sukuna's family.
"It seems that's my fault, Satoru-chan," Suguru apologizes. "Forgive me."
Oh, it definitely is, Satoru wants to retort, the words burning on his tongue, but he chokes it back, forcing a smile. "Nonsense, Suguru-san. It's not your fault."
The silence that follows is suffocating and heavy. Satoru can feel the weight of it pressing down on him.
He silently prays it stays like this for the rest of the night until dinner wraps up because every time someone opens their mouth, they just keep saying crap, and it makes him tempted to silence them forcefully.
He shoves a spoonful of beef into his mouth, not caring what he looks like anymore. He's not in the mood to play the perfect housewife right now.
For heaven's sake, why did his husband even decide to invite these mannerless, troublemaker rivals of his?
Toji clears his throat, wiping his mouth, catching everyone's attention, "Where's the restroom?" He stands up from his seat.
"Just find it yourself, it's not rocket science," Sukuna responds. Satoru's frustration grows, prompting him to slap his husband's arm in disapproval. "What? I'm just being honest," Sukuna retorts casually.
Choosing to handle the situation with more decorum, Satoru chimes in and takes the initiative to guide the man, "Toji-san, if you walk straight ahead and then take a left, you'll find the restroom. You can't miss it." Satoru smiles.
Toji gives a nod before doing something unexpected. Instead of heading in the direction Satoru had mentioned, he walks towards Satoru himself. Surprisingly, he crouches down to Satoru's height, his gaze focused on him. As he adjusts the straps of Satoru's dress, a shiver runs down Satoru's spine as Toji's large, veiny hands brushed against his skin.
"There. It's been bothering me," Toji simply says before standing up and leaving.
Satoru blinks, his mind trying to process what just happened. Confusion fills his thoughts as he clears his throat and looks at his husband, who's clearly not looking at him, busy feeding Yuuji himself.
"So, Satoru-san," Suguru's wife began. Oh, for God's sake, just leave him alone!
"Yes?" Satoru flashes her a smile.
"When do you plan to have little Yuuji over here have a sibling?" she asks.
Satoru forces a smile, the warmth failing to reach his eyes. "Not now. Yuuji's still a baby himself," he says, trying to sound light.
But the woman wouldn't let go. "Are you sure?" she presses, her voice dripping with false cheer, "Having another kid would be fun or having twins, you know. I wouldn't want Yuuji to be lonely."
Why is this question only aimed at Satoru? Toji has Megumi too, yet nobody badgers him about babies. And why does she care so much again?
"Twins?" Satoru echoes, "Must be a handful."
"I can give you twins," Suguru blurts out.
The room falls silent. Sukuna chokes on his liquor, a strangled sound escaping his throat, "Just wait a fucking moment.." He mutters and takes another swig of his drink.
Satoru laughs, thinking Suguru's only joking, "Is that so?"
Sukuna slams his glass on the table, rattling the cutlery, "Why do you suddenly want twins now?"
"Shut up, 'kuna. I'm only thinking about it, nothing serious," Satoru simply answers. He looks at the two girls, "Look at them, honey. So cute."
Choso's eyebrow shoots up. "Woah, hold on a sec, another kid?" he questions. "Won't Yuuji be a tad jealous?"
Satoru's smile falters, guilt gnawing at him for making Yuuji cry earlier. He glances at his youngest, whose little brow is furrowed in a dramatic pout. "Jealous, my little Yuu-yuu?" he teases, trying to lighten the mood.
Yuuji nods. "Mommy should only love Yuujin," he says.
Toji returns to his seat. Satoru chuckles. "Only Yuu-yuu? What about Choso-nii? Doesn't he get any love?"
The little boy ponders this for a moment, his nose scrunching up in concentration. "Choso-nii too," he concedes finally, adding with a dramatic sigh, "But only sometimes." Choso stares in disbelief.
"What about daddy?"
"So it's daddy now?" Sukuna raises a brow. "Not papa?"
Satoru rolls his eyes. "What's your problem, honey? They're the same thing. Stop making a big deal out of it."
Sukuna leans closer, his lips curved into a playful smirk. "Not quite, sweetheart. Our sons call me papa, you call me daddy. There's a world of difference in those two syllables," he points out.
Satoru's foot shoots out, connecting with Sukuna's shin with a satisfyingly solid thud. "Ow, fucking—"
"Language. There are kids present," Satoru reminds him.
"Fuck them kids."
"Sukuna!"
Suguru chuckles at the scene. "Speaking of kids," he turns to him, "Sure you've birthed two already?"
Satoru lets out a chuckle, he knows exactly where this is headed – the part where they shower him with compliments for looking so young at his age. "Two it is..." He says, brushing a stray hair behind his ear.
"And how old are you, if you don't mind?" Suguru asks, genuinely curious.
"Pushing in my forties," Satoru winces, feeling a bit self-conscious, "So, yeah. Pretty much old."
"Forties?" Suguru repeats with surprise. "Satoru-san, you're older than us?"
He is?
Toji hums, "Much better."
His wife, well, girlfriend had enough. "What the hell does that even mean?"
Caught off guard, Toji glares at her. "What are you getting mad about?"
"You and your side comments, that's what!" She snaps. "You think I'm deaf? That 'oldie' Satoru might not hear, but I sure did."
"Don't call him that." Sukuna, Toji, Suguru, and Choso warn in unison, their protectiveness flaring.
However, the damage is already done. She angrily slams her purse on the table. "I'm leaving. It turns out that hanging out with old folks isn't really my thing." With that, she storms off, leaving the group behind.
Ouch. Satoru's heart stung. Being called "old" by this young woman, surrounded by Sukuna's even younger guests, hit a raw nerve. He was reaching that age where insecurity about aging crept in, and being the eldest in the room didn't help.
Sukuna is two years younger than him. The man pursued Satoru when he was in high school, and Satoru was in college. These guests of Sukuna are probably a decade younger than him.
Satoru's throat tightens as he gulps nervously. "I apologize, Toji-san," he stammers, feeling guilty for causing his girlfriend to storm out of the dinner.
Toji's expression twists into anger. "Don't worry about her. Never liked the bitch anyway. I'll make sure to fire her first thing tomorrow," he grumbles, clearly irritated.
"Why wait? You can fire her now," Suguru comments.
"That woman..." Sukuna's fists clench tightly, his voice full of disdain. "It's probably for the best she left, or things would've gone bad with your wife, Toji."
"Kuna," Satoru says weakly, "Enough."
"Feel free," Toji says casually, finishing texting the woman that she's fired, "Punch her, whatever. I don't care. I might even help you. She deserves it."
"I'm here if you need a hand," Choso adds. It's as if they were discussing something as mundane as the weather.
"Why drag her here then?" Suguru asks, popping a grape into his mouth.
"It's obvious I don't have a wife, so I have to make an impression," Toji answers.
"Is she never coming back, papa?" Megumi asks.
"Never, baby. Don't worry."
"I-I think the mean woman said something bad about mommy," Yuuji chimes in. "Whatever that means, It's not true, you know? You're better than her, a million times better!"
Satoru nods. "Thank you, Yuu-yuu." He gives Sukuna's thighs a reassuring squeeze.
"You'll behave, right?" Suguru says to his wife, who quickly nods. "Good. If you say anything against Satoru-chan, you'll end up in the situation we're talking about right now." He warns her and hands some grapes to Mimiko and Nanako to keep them occupied with their iPad under the table.
Satoru gulps, deciding it's best not to comment.
"Don't bother anymore, Satoru. She looks older than any of us anyway, and she's only twenty-one," Toji jokes, finally bringing laughter to the whole table.
As the clock strikes ten, it's finally time for them to head home. Yuuji has drifted off to sleep in his father's lap, causing Sukuna to carefully hand him over to Choso to bid farewells with his wife.
"Well, I suppose that's it," Suguru says, standing with Toji in front of their door, while their children and Suguru's wife wait in their cars. "That was some delicious tenderloin, Satoru. I would love to eat more of your food."
Sukuna and Satoru stand by the doorway, Sukuna's arm wrapped around his wife's waist. "Thank you, Suguru-san. I'll be sure to let you know if I cook again." Suguru is taken aback when Satoru reveals it was his first time cooking. The roast was the best he ever tasted, and the fact that a newbie cooked it is unbelievable.
"So when's the next dinner, huh?" Toji asks playfully.
"Never again with the two of you," Sukuna retorts.
"But your wife seems to disagree," Toji teases, "He wants to be with us more often."
Sukuna clicks his tongue, "He says no such thing."
"I-I don't mind," Satoru bashfully admits.
"See?" Toji chuckles.
His husband sighs, "With my tight schedule, it's impossible." It's clearly not. Sukuna's lying. He doesn't have to go to work every weekend. But Satoru says nothing.
"Likewise, but for the sake of seeing Satoru-chan again, I'll definitely make time," Suguru says.
"Oi, that's my wife you're talking to, by the way."
"Are you sure you don't want to get remarried?" Toji asks.
"I can give you twins," Suguru promises, "Proven and tested, as you can see."
Satoru chuckles, "Sorry, boys," he says, then pulls Sukuna into a kiss. His head tilts back as Sukuna smirks, kissing him harder. Their tongues explore every part of each other's mouths, causing Satoru to release a moan. Eventually, Satoru forcefully pulls away, with Sukuna chasing his glossed lips. "I love my husband," Satoru giggles.
Sukuna whines when Satoru refuses to let their lips touch again. "Honey, come on... Finish what you started," he pleads.
Toji hums, "Lucky bastard."
"Ah, I can only dream." Suguru sighs.
"Keep dreaming then," Sukuna's eyes glint mischievously as he pulls Satoru away and slams the door shut. "Goodnight, fuckers! I'll let you know when I've knocked up some twins in him!" he shouts.
Suguru and Toji blink, then start walking away. Toji lights up Suguru's cigarette and blows smoke into the air.
"Damn it, now I'm hard." Toji grunts, shamelessly palming his crotch.
"What a tease," Suguru agrees. "Satoru-chan's so fucking hot. I feel defeated when Sukuna finally stakes his claim on Satoru."
"And those boobs of his almost spilling out of his pathetic excuse of a dress?" Toji sighs. "Fuck Sukuna. I hate him even more."
"Those wide hips of his," Suguru whistles. "Such a mommy."
"Such a mommy indeed," Toji laughs.
Meanwhile, in the backseat of his father's car, Megumi clenches his tiny fists, determinedly declaring, "I will make Satoru my mommy."
The twins in the other car plans the same thing.