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Iris clears her throat, scanning the apartment living room one last time before taking a deep breath.
“Court is now in session for the case of the broken teapot,” she announces. “A crime, I might add, that could have only been committed by one of three persons.”
She turns to each of the suspects in turn: Ginny, Kazuma, and Hurley. They all sit spaced apart on Hurley’s couch, tethered there by Iris’s cold stare. None of them have dared utter a word since Iris sat them down.
“Let’s see…” she continues, brow furrowing in concentration. “If this were a normal trial, I’d ask if the prosecution and defense were ready to begin now. But seeing as you all claim to be witnesses , we’ll have to get creative.”
Iris pauses. She could begin by going over the evidence, but there’s really not much to it. Her favorite teapot was sitting on the kitchen counter this morning. Now it’s broken, plain and simple. But she wasn’t there to see when it happened, and none of the possible culprits are owning up to it. Hence the trial.
A familiar tail brushes Iris’s leg just as she’s about to take another look at the broken teapot. She takes a step back and coos at Waggy, who looks up at her with needy eyes. She takes him gently in her arms, grateful to have at least someone around who isn’t a potential suspect.
“My team and I have spoken,” Iris says after a moment, ignoring how Kazuma balks at her. “And we believe it’s time for the cross-examination. Start us off, Ginny, pretty please?”
“R-right,” Ginny agrees, shaking a little in her seat. “Wot… wot didja want me to say again?”
“Your name, why you’re here, and your alibi for the case.” Iris smiles, a little petulant. “Just like a regular trial! You have plenty of practice with those.”
Ginny takes a deep breath. “Yeh, I can do that, I s'pose.” She gulps. “I reckon yer all know me already, but I’m Gina. Came over this mornin’ to talk to Mr. Sholmes ‘bout a case.” She’s sitting on her hands now, perhaps in an effort not to fidget. “And eh… I haven’t got any proof, but I’m not the one who broke it.”
“And how do you expect us to believe you without evidence?” Iris interjects. Distantly, she thinks Runo might be proud of her for that one. “In court, evidence is everything!”
Kazuma mutters something that sounds like “we’re not in court” under his breath. Iris whirls on him.
“Is there a problem, Mr. Asougi?”
Kazuma pales. “...no. No problem, Your Honor.”
“Excellent.” Iris smiles, taking a little pride in his deference, and turns back to Ginny. “So, you were going to tell us your alibi? It’ll need to be a strong one if you don’t have evidence!”
Ginny nods. “Yeh, I got one. Mr. Sholmes n’ Kazuma can tell ya, I wasn’t in the kitchen at all today.” She leans forward to gesture over at Hurley. “Tell ‘er, Sholmesy.”
Hurley, who’s been suspiciously quiet throughout the initial proceedings, sparkles a little at the attention.
“Of course! Lestrade is correct, Iris. I never once saw her step foot into the kitchen.”
Ginny smiles proudly, but Iris isn’t buying it.
“Not even once?” Iris presses him.
Hurley glances around the room a few times, smiling meekly. “I must admit I wasn’t paying close attention to Gina at the moment the pot fell on the floor. I was engaged in other matters, my dear.”
Iris frowns deeply. “What could you possibly have been focusing on, Hurley, if not our guests?”
“Erm…” Hurley begins, but if the blank look on his face indicates anything, he doesn’t remember. At least he has the grace to look a little sheepish. “Well, you know how it is. Brilliant minds lose focus at the most opportune times.”
“Wotever, Sholmesy,” Ginny grumbles. “Fat lot o’ good that did me, askin’ Sholmes fer ‘elp.” She turns to face Kazuma. “But you saw me, didntcha? I never gone near that kitchen.”
Kazuma sits poised, arms crossed primly in front of his chest. He turns away from Ginny, a disapproving frown on his face. “I will admit no such thing.”
“You wot ?”
“Once I was let in, I saw you enter the kitchen and fumble with something on the counter,” Kazuma says. He puts a hand on his chin, pondering dramatically. “Whether it was the teapot, I don’t know. But then I heard that loud shattering sound, and—”
Ginny starts to sputter. Iris narrows her eyes at her.
“E’s trying to frame me! He really is!” Ginny pleads. “I wasn’t in there, promise!” She looks up at Iris from the couch with innocent, sparkling eyes.
“Perhaps,” Iris cuts in again, unable to deny Ginny’s suspiciousness but still plenty suspicious of Kazuma as well, “we should move along to your cross-examination, Mr. Asougi.”
“Very well.” Kazuma pauses for a beat to collect himself. “I’m Kazuma Asougi, prosecutor. I arrived this morning to bring Lestrade back to the prosecutor’s office. We needed her at the office to inspect a piece of evidence.”
Ginny’s eyebrows shoot up to the stratosphere. “That’s the first time I’m hearin’ this! Wot’re we still doin’ here, if it’s that urgent?”
“Curious,” Kazuma continues loudly, “that you might try to deflect the current situation in an attempt to leave it altogether. I wonder, Lestrade, are you hiding something? Could it be that the real culprit was, in fact, you all along?”
“Why, you little—”
“Ahem,” Iris warns, and the two of them turn away from each other. “Back to your own testimony, Mr. Asougi.”
“In any case, while Lestrade may not have any evidence to prove her innocence, I am in the possession of an item that proves her guilt.”
Iris beckons Kazuma to continue, ignoring Ginny’s whines of protest.
Kazuma brandishes a shard of white ceramic from his pocket and sets it down on the coffee table. Iris recognizes the small blue emblem on its surface as a fragment of her teapot.
“As you can see here, the imprint of the sole of Lestrade’s shoe is visible on one side of the ceramic.” He flips it over, gesturing to the brown scuff marks that appear on the opposite side. “Indicating that, at one point, she was in the kitchen.”
Iris hums. “And how, exactly, can you tell that it’s from Ginny’s shoe?”
Kazuma opens his mouth to speak, but Ginny beats him to it.
“Like ‘ell I’m givin’ you my shoe,” Ginny grunts. “‘Sides, that’s from when I went o’er to clean up that whole mess! I jus’ wanted to ‘elp.”
“Courteous, but nevertheless, a contradiction from your testimony,” Kazuma admonishes. “You ought to be more careful with your words, Lestrade. That could get you in a lot of trouble in the courtroom.”
Ginny scowls at him.
“Mr. Asougi, I need to be sure of something,” Iris interrupts. “Did you step foot in the kitchen at all today? How can I know it wasn’t you?”
Kazuma sits back, straightening his shoulders. “I may not have any proof, but you have my word. I did not enter the kitchen.”
Iris pouts, stern. “That’s not much of an alibi, Mr. Asougi.”
Still in Iris’s arms, Waggy meows in agreement.
“Sholmes can testify for me,” Kazuma says, strained. “I never once went in the kitchen—you remember, don’t you?”
Hurley grins. “If I couldn’t remember Gina’s whereabouts, how, pray tell, could I remember yours?”
“Well, use that detective brain of yours and try!” Kazuma groans. “Here, let’s try this: can you recreate the same conditions from earlier? You were over at your desk, fiddling with something when I arrived. Maybe if you walk over there, you’ll remember something about the incident?”
Hurley takes a moment to consider.
“As it happens, I wanted to take a trip back to my desk soon anyhow.” He glances over at Iris. “Well, Your Honor, may I?”
Iris nods. She watches as Hurley walks over to his desk, and fumbles with an item sitting atop it.
Oh! She’d left that item for Hurley to inspect last night. She hasn’t told Hurley about it yet, but it’s a device that helps with temperature regulation for cooking. The only problem is, it can make a really loud noise if it’s twisted in the wrong direction—
CRREEEEEEAAAAAK!
At the sound, Waggy leaps from Iris’s arms and onto the floor. He runs to the kitchen and leaps onto the countertop, knocking a ceramic sauce tray onto the ground. It shatters into pieces, just as the teapot did.
All four of them gape at the crime scene. And at the culprit, unabashedly pawing at the windowsill without a care in the world.
“Ah,” Sholmes says after a beat. “I believe we may have found our culprit, no?”
Ginny springs up from the couch. “I’ll grab the broom ‘n dustpan.”
Kazuma follows close behind. “...Here, let me help.”
Iris can only stand in stunned shock.
Court is adjourned.