Work Text:
This is for the snakes and the people they bite; For the friends I’ve made; for the sleepless nights; For the warning signs I’ve completely ignored. There’s an amount to take, reasons to take more.
-
You and the Alderson’s were close, your family moved to New Jersey during the summer, and you ended up being neighbors. Darlene was in most of your classes, and you two got along well. At one point you started opening up to Darlene, telling her about your mom and sister, how they died because of you, how your father blamed you, and how your brother hated you for it.
She didn’t try to make it better, she just nodded, and told you her story. Her mom was abusive, and her dad passed away when she was ten, and her brother was eight. She told you about how her brother, Elliot, was most affected by it. Maybe that’s why he was so closed off, and isolated. It wasn’t like you hadn’t seen him before, you took computer engineering with him, and you had slept over with Darlene before too.
-
"You finish the coding for C.E.?" Elliot asked, walking up behind you as you crammed your books into your bag. You nearly jumped out of your skin when you heard him.
"I gotta tweak some things, but I’m almost done," you said, slamming the locker shut, causing Elliot to flinch. "You?" You shouldered your bag, and ran a slender hand through your hair, tossing the locks gently. He nodded in response, and that was that. You watched him pull his hood up over his head and walk away just as quietly as before.
-
Darlene invited you over more often now, offering a place to stay when things got too bad at home, even Elliot knew about what went on at home now. Even Elliot, who hated everyone but Angela and Darlene, was telling you to come over. Your brother and you weren’t on good terms normally, but this was bad. Worse than the normal yelling, and screaming.
Your dad had gone out drinking, and he wouldn’t be home for another few hours, leaving you alone with your brother. You didn’t know what set him off, but it had to have been you. "If you love the Alderson’s so much why don’t you go live with them, (y/n)?" He asked bitterly, trying to provoke you.
Sighing, you shook your head, not saying a word. And maybe you should have. Maybe he wouldn’t have pressed the hot piece of metal against your shoulder, maybe you wouldn't be on the floor, gasping for air, and clutching at your shoulder. Maybe you wouldn’t have seen the blackness, and passed out due to pain, or woken up outside on the front lawn. If you had answered him maybe the doors would be unlocked, and maybe you could have gotten in.
-
"You’re always welcome here, (y/n)." You remembered the conversation you had with Darlene earlier that month.
You shrugged, walking out to the buses. "I don’t wanna be a burden, yknow?"
Elliot was behind you, whispering to Angela. "You’re not a burden." He said, almost too quiet for you to hear. His bottom lip was tucked in between his teeth, green eyes looking at you from beneath the black hood. You smiled brightly, teeth peeking out, and eyes shining brightly despite the cold pricking at every bit of exposed skin.
"You’re welcome at my place too," the blonde said from beside him. "We’re all friends, and we’re all here for each other." She nodded, a piece of hair slipping from the loose braid she wore it in. You could’ve sworn you saw Elliot’s entire mood crash around him, the dark cloud back over his head.
“Yeah, thanks, guys.” You said, your cheeks burned from the cold January winds, your nose bright red, and dripping slightly.
You thought you were used to the cold, you left your jacket at home. The weather said it would be in the high 50°’s which felt amazing compared to the usual 20° weather that January harbored, but you didn’t take in the wind chill. The bus ride home wasn’t any better, your seat by the window suddenly became the worst spot to be.
You were almost, almost, happy to be home. The warmth of the house surrounded you, the smell of homey candles welcomed you, but only masked the danger that lurks beneath the surface.
-
It’s no big surprise you turned out this way. When they close their eyes and prayed you would change And they cut your hair, and sent you away You stopped by my house the night you escaped With tears in my eyes, I begged you to stay You said, “Hey man, I love you but no fucking way.”
-
You were cold, snow clung to your pants and shirt, your shoulder was beyond painful, and your head was pounding so badly you could’ve sworn someone was knocking a hammer on the inside of your skull. The tank top you had on didn’t help, the strap kept slipping down onto the wound, causing you to flinch and let out a whimper. “Fuck,” you cursed under your breath, and began to trudge over to the Alderson’s. Darlene car was gone, and so was Mrs. Alderson’s, and you prayed to any god or goddess that would listen that Elliot was home.
“(Y/n)?” The familiar voice was a blessing. And you broke down, begging Elliot to let you in, to get you out of there. You were afraid, and you felt so alone.
-
“What happened?” he asked, his eyes darting from you to your hand that rested over top of your burnt shoulder. He brought you to the kitchen, grabbing a few paper towels he ran them under the faucet. “Hey, y-you’re okay,” he said, gently lifting your hand so he could see the wound. It make his stomach drop, and he was filled with more anger than he had ever felt before. “This will help, here just…just stop crying okay? You’re gonna be okay.” He placed the towel on your shoulder, and you had keep yourself from letting out a yelp. That’s how it was for a while, him trying to calm you down enough for you to finally talk.
You told him how you and your brother fought the entire afternoon, how he threatened to kick you out multiple times, and this time he went through with it. You told him about your mother and sister, you told him everything, and anything. You told him things you didn’t tell Darlene, you told him things that no one but you knew, because you trusted him. And he trusted you apparently.
-
Warm arms wrapped around you, even if the embrace was loose and shaky, you loved every second of it. You loved how warm he was despite the chilly house, you loved how he smelled of coffee and tea, and something that was just so Elliot. You loved the feeling of his hand rubbing small circles on your back, and then you understood why they were so comforting. The circles gave you a sense of closure, a sense of calmer air. And despite the fact that Elliot was trembling with fear, and anger, and something he hadn’t experienced in years, he held onto you, pushing through the invisible wall he had set up.
He was letting you in, and he loved it almost as much as he loved you. And the temptation to tell you was so strong now, because that’s what they do in the movies and books. Person A breaks down and suddenly person B confesses their love and they skip into the sunset. But that’s not how this worked, because this wasn’t a book, or a movie. This was real, and this was happening, and Elliot hated that he couldn’t do more, that he couldn’t sweep you away. But he let you in, and he stayed with you until you pulled away, telling him you needed to go clean yourself up. And suddenly the wall was building itself back up, telling him to keep away because he would only hurt you. “Because I ruin people’s lives, I don’t rebuild them.” He said to himself as he walked to the computer that sat in the corner of his room. And he promised, that one day he would be that superhero people talked about but had no clue who he was, or how he found the people he did. But it all started with you, and hopefully that’s how he could end it.
-
I’m sure that we could find something for you to do on stage. Maybe shake a tambourine or when I sing, you sing harmonies.
-
He found you again, years later. You lived in Brooklyn, only a train ride away from him. He found you, and checked in on you from a distance, searching through your social media, and emails. You were with someone else now, someone who didn’t deserve you. Someone who made you smile and laugh, despite being the same someone who didn’t know you like he knew you. And he hated who you were with, mostly because it wasn’t him, because that person had you and he didn’t. But he dealt with it until the day you broke it off, heart broken after you found out the person only harbored feelings for you for the first few months of your relationship.
And that’s when it began. You started getting letters in the mail, just friendly hello’s and small messages. Occasionally a gift card to your favorite coffee shop came with them, but you weren’t afraid. In fact you felt safe, and you felt you could relax, even if you had no idea who the mystery sender was.
The next letter came, this time with an address to an old rundown amusement park, and a train ticket. There was no letter, but the timestamp on the ticket was enough to let you know when to arrive. You had on a simple pair of jeans, and an old tee-shirt you didn’t remember buying, but it ended up with your boxes when you first moved. It was cold. The tide was coming in, cold winds along with it, you didn’t bother trying to keep your hair in place, your hands too busy rubbing your arms, trying to keep you warm as you stood on the pier, looking out into the night sky.
“You should really start wearing jackets in January, (y/n).” Your hands stopped moving, and your heart raced.
“Elliot?” You turned on your heal, seeing the awkward man standing there, black hoodie on, just like when you were kids. You didn’t know what to do, so you stood there, tears pricking at your eyes as you watched your childhood friend close the distance between you two. And God, did it feel good to be home.
-
This is for the lake that me and my friends swim in, naked and dumb on a drunken night And it should’ve felt good but I can hear the Jaws theme song on repeat in the back of my mind Make sure you kiss your knuckles before you punch me in the face There are lessons to be learned, consequences for all the stupid things I say And it is no big surprise you turned out this way. The spark in her eyes, The look on your face. I will not be late.