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Shayne feels as if he has known Amanda for his entire life. Everything is so easy when he is around her. There are no expectations or pretenses, just a desire to make Amanda smile. A desire to make her blush the same way he does when she compliments him during an episode of Smosh Mouth. A desire to make her heart swell the same way his does when they knock knees while sitting on the Smosh Games couch next to each other, each small connection of skin enough to make Shayne individually question his morals.
Shayne wonders if Amanda feels the same way. Shayne wonders if Amanda laughs and blushes and swells because she feels obligated to reciprocate his own obnoxious reactions to her mere existence, or because she also considers them to be soulmates like he does in the comfort of his own mind, two souls intertwined by the fate of the planets and stars aligning at the right place, at the right time. In Shayne's eyes, he and Amanda were destined to come together by the universe. When he looks down at Amanda in his arms, his strong figure wrapped around her curvy waist, their fingers intertwined and resting upon her stomach, rising and falling with the beat of her breathing, he knows he isn't being unreasonable.
Amanda is just so damn pretty. Shayne has never been around a person who is as effortlessly stunning as Amanda is, inside and out. Not only is she the most hilariously honest person Shayne has the pleasure of knowing, but her mesmerizing ocean-blue eyes are even more captivating against her perfectly tanned skin. It makes him feel inadequate. No amount of mornings spent in the gym or rotations between fad diets will come close to competing with what Amanda has been handed by God.
Amanda knows exactly how to instantly melt Shayne's fears like an ice cube set outside in the Los Angeles summer sun. The genuine compliments that roll from her tongue in between shoots when they have a moment to spare in the green room alone make Shayne go feral, the low grovel in her voice as she whispers sweet nothings taking more than just the mental edge off. Occasionally they will sneak into the gender-neutral bathroom and quickly finish what Amanda unintentionally started, Shayne perched atop the closed toilet lid and Amanda kneeling between his legs, gripping his hips as a reminder for him to keep his voice down. Other days, Amanda simply lets Shayne suffer, teasing him on camera to see the way his squirms in his seat, desperate to take him back to her apartment so he can see what she has spent all day brewing in the depths of her brain.
And when they finally are in the comfort of Amanda's home, Shayne is always impressed by the way she continuously defies his expectations, the whole experience hotter and sweatier and wetter and stickier than Shayne could have imagined without his body viscerally reacting on video.
Shayne has never had this before. He has other girlfriends, sure, but that doesn't matter when Amanda makes him think they are only people left on Earth, the rest of the world falling away to make for them to show their unrequited love for one another. That is what Shayne feels when he is alone with Amanda. This secret they share is the most exhilarating one Shayne has ever had, and he wouldn't dare to have it with anyone else. Despite it only being a couple of months since this new turn in their relationship, Shayne doesn't want to dare imagine a world where Amanda is not there by his side holding his hand through the good, the bad, and the dirty.
Sometimes Shayne wishes he and Amanda didn't have to communicate through longing glances and lingo that only they understand. He wants to be able to tell Amanda what he thinks about her as the thoughts come up instead of having to repress them until they find themselves away from everyone else. He wants to be able to push a stray piece of hair out of Amanda's face during lunch breaks so he can stare, all of her beauty in full view. He wants to be able to do all of the stupid, cheesy things couples get to do when they are not in front of over 20 million fans, watching and analyzing their every move as if they have the right to do so.
But there is something so special about hiding their relationship that goes deeper than the thrill. It isn't property of their friends, their family, their co-workers, or the general public, it is only theirs. Shayne doesn't know if he is ready to let that go yet because they can never go back to now, the pair curled up in Shayne's bed as two people who love each other so unconditionally they can't stand to be apart for more than a minute.
He looks down at Amanda still sound asleep, her lips slightly parted and her eyelashes lightly fluttering against her cheeks as she dreams. Shayne decides that this is enough, that what he and Amanda have is enough. They do not need to shout their status from the rooftops for them to know that what they have is real and cannot be duplicated.