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They were ten and eleven when they had their first kiss. It was short and spitty and in the end they decided it would be way too gross to repeat. Still, neither of them could miss the fact it was a milestone, neither of them could miss the fact it would change things for them. It didn't then, and it didn't the next day. But it did in the future, and that was what was truly important.
It happened, just as many of their milestones did, because they were reading. There were all sorts of books to be found in Elysia, and even more books to be found in the ruins nearby! The ones in the ruins were more the kind that led to questions like this, because they showed what humans thought about instead of just seraphim. Gramps did his very best to teach Sorey about what it was like to be human, but he kept the most interesting books to himself, claiming Sorey wasn't old enough. They didn't dare to steal from Gramp's house when he wasn't looking - not after the first time, when the seraph cast literal lightning bolts of anger down on the ground in front of them.
So, all the most interesting books came from the ruins. This one talked about romance and kissing and marriage and had all sorts of poetry in it, which Sorey took a liking to immediately. It told the tale of a knight and his lost love. He would search far and wide for her and wax poetic about how much he missed such things as her lips. It was very intriguing to the both of them. So they decided to try this so called kissing. Instant regret, instant mistake. "This is what adults do?" Mikleo had asked and Sorey had shaken his head in disbelief. "I guess," he said, and they both vowed to never be adults, and that was that for a few more years. Neither of them told what had happened to Gramps. It just didn't seem like something he'd want to know.
They were both fourteen when they had their second kiss. Sorey was verging on puberty and this is when things would truly change. That long lost, forgotten book had been rediscovered recently and become a dog eared copy. He was seeing the words in a different way, he was feeling what the knight felt. He wanted to have those feelings about someone and he wanted someone to write fantastic words about. It didn't take him long to realize that there was someone he could have the feelings about, and that someone was his best friend Mikleo.
He started being strange around the other boy and blushing a lot because Sorey thought about the book when he was near him and it opened his eyes to what he'd never seen before. He started to notice all the little things about Mikleo, like the curves of his body and how long and pretty his eyelashes were. The seraph boy was just pretty in general, and it seemed like he himself was a walking poem. Pretty soon, Sorey started to have it bad. Of course that meant he got into a worse and worse state each time he saw Mikleo, stuttering and blushing and acting in all sorts of strange ways. Since they saw each other often, this was pretty noticeable. There was no way to avoid him. Eventually, the inevitable happened and he confronted Sorey about it.
"You're acting weird," Mikleo had said in an accusatory tone. "I don't like it."
I am weird, Sorey thought, because we grew up together and we should be like brothers but I'm thinking about you in ways that are completely unbrotherlike. But he didn't say any of this, he just kept quiet.
"I've seen you reading that book again," Mikleo had continued. "And I think I know what you want."
Sorey had sat up then. They were in his house and both sitting on the floor, or rather Sorey had been in a slumped, crumpled and defeated pile on the ground. But now he was all ears, because if Mikleo had a way to fix him, then he wanted to be fixed!
"But you have to talk to me," Mikleo said, "Because if you don't, then I don't know if I'm right."
"I don't want either of us to be right," Sorey finally said after a long beat of silence. "But you probably are."
Mikleo exhaled a sigh at that. "You want a girl, and then you're going to like her." He was pretty upset about this idea and it showed through his eyes. "You're going to like her and you're going to leave us and have lots of human babies and then where will I be?"
Sorey had looked very confused because of this statement. "You think I want a girl? You think I'm going to leave my home?"
"Well, what the heck else would it be?" Words like heck and darn were their swear words, because they'd never been taught the likes of hell and damn. And for Mikleo to be speaking in a way he considered vulgar was a big thing. It didn't matter if the rest of the world would consider it minor.
"What the heck else would it be?" Sorey echoed, and looked at Mikleo like he was crazy. "Do you really not know? You haven't figured it out?"
"There's only one other thing," Mikleo said, and he was fiddling with his fingers now. He refused to look at Sorey at this point, staring down at the ground. "But it's egoistical of me to even consider it."
"I told you that you were probably right, but you were completely wrong. But if you've got another idea in there," Sorey said, and poked Mikleo right on the forehead. "Then it's probably the right one." You're smart, he didn't say, you can figure it out.
"The other thing is that you're considering growing up now, and you want to grow up with me."
"Yeah," Sorey said, "Bingo." Two words and they were enough to make Mikleo's face blush bright red. "I don't want to grow up yet," the seraph says, an apology in his voice. "Not yet." He looks at Sorey finally, and his entire face is communicating one emotion: scared. Sorey hates himself all of a sudden for causing that emotion and he had to turn away.
But Mikleo grabbed his face and turned it back. They stared into each other's eyes and finally Mikleo offered him a hesitant smile. "I'll give you one thing," he says. "It'll be our promise."
"Our promise?"
"Our promise that when we're old enough, we'll grow up together. We won't wait for anyone else. We'll be together. And we'll be happy."
"Okay," Sorey said, because he loved the sound of that. "We'll be happy."
Mikleo kissed him then, just a quick peck but it was much nicer than the first time. Maybe because Sorey was old enough not to consider it ick. Then the other boy stood up, dusted off his pants, and headed for the door. "Don't forget our promise," he said without turning around and left, the door ajar behind him.
Sorey let himself collapse where he was sitting, flopped to hide his face on a pillow that set on the floorboards, and let out a loud whining noise. Mikleo avoided him for a few days after that, but then one day he came busting into Sorey's room with a book and an invitation to read it together, and things went back to normal. Still, neither of them ever forgot.
Their third kiss is when they are sixteen and seventeen, and that's when things truly change. That's when puberty really hits, and that's when Sorey starts to think about more than just kissing Mikleo. He started to think of him passionately and it drew him to the idea of writing his very own poetry and writing it about his best friend. It was piss poor stuff and he knew it, but he left it for Mikleo to find anyway. It's all either awkward or derivative but Sorey hoped that he would appreciate these poems for existing and ignore the quality of work.
The poems seemed to fall on deaf ears for a long time but he wrote more anyway. Then Mikleo confronted him one day with a stack of the poems and Sorey thought maybe he should have known better. "What is this," the seraph demanded, "Are you messing with me?"
"Why would I mess with you?" Sorey asked, completely puzzled by the accusation. "Why would I do anything but tell the truth?"
Mikleo dropped the stack of papers on the nearby table and covered his face, his voice almost a shriek behind his hands. "Because you remember the promise! And you know how it's important to me, so you're - you're - "
"I'm what?" Sorey asked, stepping closer to him and setting his hands on Mikleo's shoulders. "I don't understand what you're saying."
"I don't know!" Mikleo dropped his hands and now it became obvious that he was tearful. "I don't know what you're gearing up for, and it's terrifying!"
"Maybe I just want to pick up the promise," Sorey said in a reasonable, assuring tone of voice. He wiped at Mikleo's wet cheeks with his sleeve, but just as soon as they're dried they become wet again. So instead he opted for kissing each cheek, hoping not to get slapped for it. He didn't.
"You can't mean that," Mikleo said. "You can't mean that because I'm not human."
"I don't care if you're not human, and I don't care if I am. All I care about is being with you."
Mikleo stared into Sorey's eyes with a wild look and judged his words for truth. Finally he decided that Sorey is being truthful (he always is, the boy is incapable of telling a lie), and his shoulders slumped down underneath Sorey's grasp. "You won't be around as long as I am, and you'll die far before me, and then I'll be alone forever."
"So then you'll find someone else," Sorey said, because it seemed reasonable to him. It hurt his heart to think about, but it's reasonable. He couldn't expect anything else. But Mikleo pushed him away at that, shoving his hands against Sorey's shoulders and then leaving them there, standing slumped and defeated. "Nobody," the seraph said, "Nobody will ever be as good as you."
"I don't know what to do about that," Sorey said honestly. "I just know I can promise to make you happy for the time that I have."
Mikleo looked up at his face and the tears were still coming, but he didn't seem to notice or care. "I guess I should enjoy what we have," he said, "And take advantage while I still can."
"Yes," Sorey agreed, opened his arms and Mikleo stepped forward into his embrace. Sorey held him for a long time, and then they sleep in the same bed while he held him some more. It's not a happy day like it should be. But it's a satisfying one, and it leads to happy ones together. They still don't tell Gramps about any of it. They keep it to themselves and it's their thing, one they refuse to share with anyone else.
They confess love when they're seventeen and eighteen. Sorey leaves another poem for Mikleo to find, right on the pillows of the bed they share. Roses are red, it says, violets are blue, but tell me I'm a fool, because I'm in love with you. Mikleo gets mad again, but Sorey expected it this time.
He just catches the infuriated seraph in his arms and kisses him for the fiftieth time, smiling into the kiss when Mikleo relaxes into his hold. "I love you," he whispers against the curve of the other's lips, and feels the other's ragged breathing. Mikleo's scared again, but Sorey can fix it. Another kiss and another and another, with whispered promises in between each.
Sorey promises him that they'll be together for a long time (he avoids the word forever, the word forever will only scare Mikleo more or make him think about the fact Sorey is human). He promises that he'll always love him and take care of him and be there for the long haul. In the end, Mikleo finally starts to calm down and whispers love back. Nobody runs and nobody avoids. It's a good day, followed by many more. They tell Gramps this time. It seems like something he'd want to know.
Their five hundredth kiss will be when they're nearly eighteen and nearly nineteen, and they leave Elysia for the world below. One kiss a day and many times more will get them to that number. It's a journey full of interest and hope, and they're setting out on it together. They want it to be a good day, but it isn't. Nor is it followed by many more.
But they have each other and they continue on together to the very end, and that's what counts.
