Chapter Text
He wasn’t entirely sure how he was going to handle having flatmates. It was terrifying enough to be switching uni’s in his second year. It was so scary that he was doing it without knowing anybody at Leeds. He couldn’t live in a dorm like he had the year prior, it wasn’t safe to have his dog, Cloud, in one. Probably why Ben wanted him to rescind his application for him, amongst other reasons. He gently scratched behind the dog's ears, the soft texture grounding him. He didn’t like taking public transport, and even though it was clear Cloud was a working dog, not a pet, he still got scared. The soothing pressure on his thigh helped pull him out of his thoughts and back to the world as the tannoy signaled that they were approaching the stop. Cloud stood, and he attached his leash back onto his belt loop as he grabbed his bag and made his way towards the doors.
When he stepped out of the train…it was nothing like he’d expected. He’d come to visit the school when he was touring around with Tao, but that was in a car . The area around didn’t seem familiar, so he got his navigation app going. Starting his fifteen-minute walk from the station to his flat. He was a day early, he knew that. But not living in a dorm meant he could technically move in whenever. His roommates seemed nice enough, two queer people who were more than happy to take in a straggler and his dog. But that didn’t mean they couldn’t be horrible. His roommate at Durham always seemed weirded out by him, so he just…spent all his time at Ben’s flat.
He shook his head, he’d already thought about Ben too much. Cloud nudged his hand, trying his best to ground him, but it was too late. His spiraling, which at one point was constant, was too much to halt sometimes. He was led to sit on a bench, where Cloud jumped into his lap and licked his face. He couldn’t contain his laughter at that, he did his best to keep holding onto his suitcase, keeping it close. By the time Cloud was off his lap and on the ground, his heart rate was back to normal. With his panic attack successfully staved off, he made his way to the flat.
He knocked on the door, half expecting to wait a bit before it was opened. But within seconds it was thrown open by a fairly tall boy with brown hair. He looked nice enough, excited.
“Charlie! And Cloudie!” He cheered. “Wait, you are Charlie right?” He tilted his head, he looked down at Cloud, who seemed to be staring up at him with a similar expression.
“Yeah- Uhm.” He cleared his throat. “Charlie. And this is Cloud.”
“I'm Jax.” He smiled. “Neos at work but he should be back soon. Your stuff got here a few days ago so we just…put it in the empty room? I thought about putting your sheets on your bed but it felt like it could be an invasion since…I didn’t know where they were. We unpacked Clouds stuff though! See?” He pointed to the kitchen, which had his water and food dishes, and if he peeked around Jax’s other side, he could see his crate.
“T-Thanks.” He smiled, and he let Cloud out of his stay command. He went to his crate and began sniffing around it.
“Well…while he makes himself at home.” Jax stepped to the side. “Feel free to come in! Everything in the central area is shared, and everyone has labeled cabinets and shelves in the fridge and freezer. Everywhere else is fair game.”
“Cool.” He cleared his throat. “Er…Bathroom…?”
“Oh! Each room has one. Perks of flats in a uni town.” He smiled, rocking back and forth on his heels. “I’ll be in my room if you need anything!” He went into the room on the far left and closed it almost all the way. When Cloud came to his heel, he got to work on getting his crate to his room. He put it at the foot of the bed and commanded Cloud to rest there. He’d had a long enough day, the workout of getting his room in order…that would have to wait. He lay down on the bed and stared at his empty room as he fell asleep.
He woke up to hard nudging. He turned his head to see Cloud headbutting him, a quick check of his watch alerted him to the fact that it was dinner time, hence the intense headbutts. By the time he was reoriented, and in the kitchen. He realized he had no food to even make for dinner.
“Hi.” Someone was sitting on the couch. A stranger. He knew he shouldn’t have moved into this random flat, strangers ended up on their couch! “I’m Neo.”
“Oh.” He said dumbly, Neo. Another roommate. He rubbed his eyes and tried not to laugh…the fact that he was so nervous about meeting them, and a single nap wiped them from his memory. “Sorry. Hi. Nice to meet you. I’m Charlie.”
“I know. Jax warned me.” They seemed to frown at their own words, mumbling something to themselves before looking back at Charlie. “Not warned. Told.”
He nodded. “Yeah…uhm.” He looked back to the kitchen. “I think I’m gonna go get groceries. Do you need anything?”
They shook their head. They looked…so ambiguous. Overall confusing, if nothing else. Their hair was short, brown with a faded green at the ends. Every time their eyes landed on Charlie, they seemed to quickly shift elsewhere. They cleared their throat and turned their attention back to their phone. He took the awkward conversation and put it in his ‘deal with later’ folder before getting his belongings.
By the time he made it to the closest grocery store, he was drained of energy. It was rainy and sad. He felt like he’d gone through twelve lifetimes in twelve hours. The urge to turn around, to run home (if he could even call it that), and avoid going into the one place that would show that he’d changed, that he had gotten just a little better, clicked into his head. Overwhelming his senses. He knew that if he didn’t move now, he would never do it. He let Cloud take the first step for him and lead him inside.
It wasn’t a huge deal. He got eggs, frozen chicken strips, bread, and cheese. Nothing complex. Nothing scary. The basic aspects of his most barren meal plans. But they felt like they weighed two tons, the weight and fear of someone knowing that he was doing something as simple as eating made it feel like he was going to suffocate. But he paid for his food, made his way home, and ate a cheese sandwich without even blinking. He poured Cloud's dry food into his bowl, mixing it up with the disgusting canned stuff that was supposedly good for him. And left his dog at home so he could run. It was the only way he could think to calm his overactive mind, since clearly…nothing else was going to help him.
It was late, that much he knew. He had gotten himself adequately lost by the time he realized what time it was. He found a park bench and sat on it, somewhat enjoying the cold feeling against his legs. He stared into the very artificial pond he’d found himself near, the urge to throw himself into it and disappear forever was a bit stronger than it usually was. He almost stood up. Almost brought himself to the edge of the land. But then someone was touching him. It felt like a burn.
“Are you okay?” His voice wasn’t deep. It wasn’t high. It wasn’t scary. It felt like a warm blanket, protecting him.
“...I don’t know.” He mumbled. “I don’t…”
“That’s fine.” He said, matter-of-factly. “What's your name?” that was a trap if he’d ever seen one. “Er- Okay.” There was a pause. He hadn’t even looked at the man yet. Every part of his body screamed that it was Ben . There was no way, and if it was, he wouldn’t be this nice. But it still…it still could be. “Well I’m Nick.”
Nick .
“I know this sounds creepy, but are you a student?” He nodded. “We’re an hour walk from campus. You don’t have to say yes to letting me drive you but…can I atleast get you a rideshare or something?”
He played with his hands. A ride would be nice. This person had a name and clearly cared…better than a rideshare. The driver could kidnap him, or worse, assault him. Maybe even take his phone and money and leave him str-
“Uhm…” Oh.
“A-A ride would be nice…F-From you…! N-Not…A…rideshare.” He finally turned to look at the guy. He was…kind of huge. But he knew that as his meds wore off, his view of things would get…fairly distorted. His light hair caught the moonlight in a way that made it seem like it was glowing . He was like an angel.
“Alright. Do you need help? Or can you walk.”
He looked down at his legs, picking them up experimentally. They seemed fine…so he stood up. Nick smiled at him and wrapped his arm around Charlie's shoulders. Leading him to his car. There's a large gap in his memory between when he got into Nick's car and told him the address, and when he got to the flat. Neo and Jax were standing outside the door looking panicked beyond belief.
“Charlie! Are you okay?!” Jax grabbed his shoulders, it hurt more than it probably should. “We couldn’t find you! Cloud was really worried.” Right. The dog.
Neo stared at Nick's car with a concerned look on their face. But if he had any opinions, he didn’t say them. They put their arm around Charlie's shoulders, pulling him away from Jax and Nick, who were now engaging in an….active conversation. He climbed into bed at Neos' command, letting Cloud jump up and lay across his body.
“...Are you okay?” Neo stood in the door frame. Their eyes seemed to glow.
“I’m fine.” He sighed. “...Are you okay?”
“...I thought you got lost. It was scary.” He said it like it was meant to be obvious.
“...I didn’t.” He had one question lingering in the back of his head since he first met them. “...Do you know why I transferred?”
“Yeah.” He looked at his socks. “I mean. The campus counselor…she told us to look out for you. Jax asked why and she wouldn’t budge…so we sort of did some digging. It wasn’t…super hard.” He looked back at Charlie. “Sorry.”
“It’s…fine. Really.”
“...I’m gonna let you go to bed. Night.” He left with a sad smile, shutting the door.
He stares at the ceiling, not really thinking about much other than Cloud's soft breathing. But when he let his eyes drift close, there was only one person on his mind.
Nick.