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Lukas leaned against the stone walls of the massive hallway, staring at nothing. His mind was in a million places at once.
Aiden was gone. Out of his life, hopefully forever. He couldn’t believe he used to spend so much time with the guy; now even the thought of him just made Lukas wish he’d been there to push him off of the island.
Okay, maybe that was violent. It had been a very long day.
Ivor had been the first to decide it was time to sleep, the man claiming a spot in the hallway and announcing that he was not to be bothered. His snores filled the space soon after. Petra had quickly followed, voicing her exhaustion after the ordeal that their day had been.
Despite his own exhaustion, Lukas couldn’t sleep, kept awake by the pain in his arm and his racing thoughts.
“Hey, Lukas?” He glanced up as Jesse walked over. Apparently, Lukas wasn’t the only one who couldn’t sleep. “Can we talk?”
His insides went cold. That was never a good question. “Yeah, uh…is everything okay?”
Jesse shrugged, leading him away from the others. He sat down with his back against the wall and gestured for Lukas to sit. Lukas cautiously settled next to him.
A million worst-case scenarios started to run wild in his mind. Jesse was going to blame him for Aiden’s behavior. Jesse was going to say he was stupid for getting pushed off of the island. Jesse had found out about his arm somehow and was going to leave him in this stupid hallway thing because he was a liability. Jesse was going to realize he wasn’t worth keeping around and leave him. Jesse was going to—
Hug him?
Lukas blinked as strong arms wrapped around him and pulled him close. “I was so scared I’d lost you…”
“I…what?”
“When you fell off of the island,” Jesse started, face buried in Lukas’ good shoulder (and thank goodness; as it was, Jesse’s hug was sort of painfully crushing his arm). “I was so…I thought you were dead. You fell, I thought…”
Jesse started shaking, and suddenly Lukas knew exactly what had been going through his mind. After all, it hadn’t been too long since Reuben had died. If there hadn’t been land under Sky City or if he’d missed the water even slightly, Lukas would have met the same fate as that brave little pig.
“Jesse,” he whispered, “I’m so…I’m so sorry.”
“No, it’s not your fault. I’m just really glad you’re okay,” Jesse sniffled.
Lukas carefully returned Jesse’s hug, breathing through the pain of moving his arm. “I am. I’m here, Jesse, it’s okay.”
“I-I know. I know.” He pulled back a little, wiping at misty eyes. “Sorry, just…needed to make sure.”
Lukas shook his head. “Don’t apologize. I get it.”
“Thanks, Lukas. I appreciate it.”
He nodded. “Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?”
“No, actually. That was just for me. For my own peace of mind,” Jesse admitted. “I wanted to ask about Aiden.”
Lukas felt a stone block settle in the pit of his stomach. “What about him? He’s a jerk.”
“Well, yeah, but…what was with all that? The Blaze Rods, trying to make us look like the bad guys, overthrowing the Founder…I still don’t get the point of tossing all those monsters everywhere.”
“Aiden just likes to feel powerful. He doesn’t care about the consequences. And he pushes Maya and Gill into doing whatever he says.” Lukas stared at the floor. He didn’t want to be having this conversation.
“He wasn’t that bad before, right? Weren’t you guys close?” Jesse asked.
Lukas couldn’t help the bitter laugh that left him at that. Jesse gave him a confused look and Lukas wished he could be anywhere else.
“He…wasn’t really the friendliest,” he said, glancing away. That was the understatement of the century, but he hoped that Jesse would drop the subject. He really, really didn’t want to talk about it.
Jesse didn’t seem to catch on, though. “What do you mean?”
Lukas sighed. “Aiden and I…we had this huge fight after everything with the Witherstorm. He was upset that I didn’t go looking for him and the others. I tried to tell him that stopping the Witherstorm first would have made it easier to look for them, but he wouldn’t listen.”
He twisted his fingers in his lap as the conversation flashed through his mind.
“You didn’t come back for us!”
“I wanted to, but Jesse said—“
“Ohhh, Jesse said! Since when do you take orders from losers?”
“Is that why he was so jealous? Because you stayed with us?” Jesse asked.
“You don’t get to tell us what to do anymore. Not after you left us.”
“I…guess so. I mean, he had a point. I could have looked for them,” Lukas murmured, his gaze dropping to the floor again. His hands were shaking slightly as he continued to twist his fingers around each other. “Maybe it was my fault…”
“What? Lukas, how could you think that?” Jesse asked. “Of course it wasn’t your fault.”
“I could have gone to look for them. I was so close to going, but then I stayed. I…”
“Aiden, stopping the Witherstorm was the best way to ensure that everyone was safe. If I’d gone out there alone, I would have died.”
“Oh, classic Lukas. Only worried about yourself!”
He pulled his knees to his chest, ignoring his arm’s protests. “I was scared of leaving. You said you needed me and I took the first excuse to stay…”
Jesse scooted a little closer. “We did need you. And it would have been way too dangerous to go off on your own.”
“I guess…”
“You cared about them. They were your friends.”
Lukas bit his lip. There was a burning in his eyes all of a sudden and he turned his face away from Jesse.
“You’re off the team.”
“What?”
“I said, you’re off the team. Leave.”
“Aiden, what are you talking about?”
“Lukas?”
He didn’t want to think about it.
“You abandoned us, so we’re kicking you out.”
“I didn’t abandon you, I told you why I couldn’t go. It doesn’t mean we aren’t still friends.”
“You really thought we were friends?”
“Wh…what?”
“We were only ever teammates, Lukas, that was the agreement. We were a building team. Not friends.”
Lukas closed his eyes, his words coming out in a whisper. “We weren’t friends.”
Jesse tilted his head. “I thought—“
“I thought so, too,” he said, hugging his knees closer. “But I was wrong. We weren’t ever friends. And I guess I should have realized sooner, but I just…I thought…” His voice cracked and he bit the inside of his cheek.
“Oh,” Jesse breathed. “Lukas…”
“I mean, all the signs were there,” he continued, laughing bitterly. “He was never very nice to me. I guess I was too stupid to realize that friends don’t act like that.”
“You’re not stupid,” Jesse cut in. He lay a hand on Lukas’ tense shoulder.
Lukas kept his face turned away. “You guys never treated me the way he did. Even that first night…you guys were never as bad as he could be. And he always…he just said I was being too sensitive. The one time I said something, that’s what he told me.”
“Aiden was a jerk. That wasn’t your fault at all.”
“I could have done more to stop him. I…he treated you guys horribly. You didn’t deserve that.”
“Neither did you,” Jesse said softly, giving Lukas’ shoulder a light squeeze.
He blinked hard, pressing his lips together. His vision was getting blurry.
“I didn’t leave the Ocelots,” he said softly. His voice was unsteady. “I…I told you I left after Aiden got really bad but that wasn’t true. We had the fight and he kicked me off the team.” He buried his face in his knees as the tears started falling. “I’m sorry I lied...”
Jesse was silent for a few moments. Lukas worried that he was upset; why wouldn’t he be? Lukas had lied to him and now he was crying like a pathetic loser. Maybe Aiden had been right about him.
His thoughts were interrupted as Jesse pulled him into another tight hug.
“If I ever see Aiden again, I’m giving him a piece of my mind, I swear,” Jesse muttered. His voice softened as he said, “I’m just glad you’re away from him now. He doesn’t deserve someone like you.”
Lukas couldn’t help the choked sob that escaped him at that. He buried his face in the crook of Jesse’s neck as more tears burned in his eyes.
Jesse’s hand came up to run through his hair. “It’s okay. You’ll be okay.”
“I’m sorry,” he sniffled, voice muffled.
“There’s no need to be. It’s just us; it’s okay. I’m right here for you.”
No one had ever said those words to him before. Jesse said them so softly…Lukas felt the last bit of his resolve crumble as he finally let himself feel everything.
He’d lost his old friends. His arm hurt. He could have died. And now they were stuck in some weird hallway with no idea how to go home.
Jesse held him close as he cried, still running his fingers through Lukas’ hair. His embrace was warm and strong.
“It’ll be okay, Lukas,” he said, his voice so achingly gentle. “We’re all here for you. We’re gonna get through everything together, just like always. We’ll find a way out of this.”
Lukas sniffled, melting into Jesse’s arms a little as his tears slowed. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had held him. He felt safe, and he could almost believe that Jesse was right.
He didn’t want to move, but the position he was in was causing his arm even more pain. He decided against telling Jesse about that quite yet; there wasn’t much that could be done about it and he didn’t want anyone to worry. He pulled away slightly.
Jesse’s hand moved from his hair to cupping his cheek, gently wiping the stray tears. Lukas leaned forward so their foreheads were touching as his eyes fell closed again.
“Thank you,” he whispered. “For everything.”
“Of course,” Jesse replied. Lukas could hear the smile in his words and he couldn’t help his own small smile.
Maybe they would be okay.
“We should get some rest,” Jesse said after a few moments. “I don’t know about you, but today was pretty exhausting.”
“Yeah. I’m tired, too.” Lukas didn’t want to let go, but sleep sounded wonderful. He always forgot how draining crying was.
Jesse stood and stretched before offering his hand. Lukas took it, following as Jesse led him back to where Petra and Ivor were still fast asleep.
“I should probably tell them, too, huh?” he sighed. He wasn’t looking forward to having the conversation again.
“When you’re ready,” Jesse said, lying on the ground a short distance away from the others. He patted the spot next to him.
Lukas hesitated slightly before curling up next to him. “Yeah.”
He looked over at Jesse, a small smile on his face despite everything. He was lucky to have such good friends now. It was still pretty new to him, but he could get used to it. He closed his eyes, listening as Jesse’s breathing slowed.
They still had to find their way home. But as Jesse’s words echoed in his mind, Lukas was sure they would be okay.
They had each other.