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Dear Akashi Seijuuro,
Would you please be kind to offer a bit of your precious time?
I have always been watching you. It all started during that sweet Spring term. My memories, would always be vague except for that time when I started noticing you. You quietly take your seat, your beautiful scarlet eyes calmly watching how the teacher would raise his right arm, fingers scribbling furiously against the board, not missing those chalk dusts falling on the ground while the soft Spring wind gently blows your deep crimson locks. I asked myself, 'why am I staring at this person too much?' And then, as I saw how your scarlet eyes glint, seeing the bright Sakura trees swaying against the blowing wind, I finally understood. My breath was taken away.
"Am I being mad?"
No, I am not. I caught myself. I was doing it again for several times, especially when we were seated together, desks an inch closer, our elbows almost touching. I quietly
scolded myself. Saying that I'm being weird. Yes. I am weird. I don't know myself anymore. Please forgive me. But I couldn't avoid those scarlet eyes, those beautiful eyes that
made my heart filled with happiness and ache at the same time.
I would bite my tongue. My eyes, trying to look away from the reality before me. It was almost everyday. Everyday - that I had to watch how your lips, so sensuous, softly and gracefully opens and closes, your long and slender fingers, your thick eyelashes, fluttering like the Sparrow's wings as it ascends to heaven. I realized the heaviness of my sin. Like the cascading waterfalls slamming hard against my shoulders, pinning me down, with my heart in utter pain and happiness. I sinned when I noticed how your scarlet eyes glimmer.
I made my biggest sin during that Spring. My memories were so clear of that moment... it breaks my heart. I was happy. Until now, my heart still aching for that Spring's clearest memories, as clear as the blue sky of that season. My heart would flutter like the Sakura's. I would only grip my hands against the hem of my white sweater, chewing the
corner of my lip. My heart would betray me, would betray my mind. I was helpless. but I couldn't help following your every movement, especially your scarlet eyes - your scarlet
eyes that haunts me in my dreams, would always be staring towards that person.
I was the first one to notice you. I was the one who discovered those beautiful scarlet eyes, like the shimmering ruby against the sun. I caught you - caught you quietly, looking at him. A turquoise haired boy, eyes as clear as the Spring's blue sky, cheeks smooth and white like that of a seraphim's. Your lips quivered, as you watched him bit his pencil, thin, peach lips chewing on its rubber eraser top. Your scarlet eyes didn't miss how those slender, snow white fingers gently flicks the book's pages. I watched you... how you would occasionally held your breath as the passing wind blows those teal locks, long, eyelashes flutter as it blinked from the gust.
Yes, I have sinned. And I will face your wrath.
It didn't escape me when you started to follow him as I am as well. Your scarlet eyes never leaving that seraphim, always following him, your ears - I know you always listened to that person who seemed to lock his mouth all the time. You didn't falter. Your scarlet eyes were brimming of that so-called determination. My heart ached. I couldn't be brave enough to tell you to stop. Who am I to stop you? After all, I can't change your heart just as I can't stop mine.
My heart almost shattered. Like a porcelain cup that accidentally slips away from my hands, broken into pieces. Yes, that evening Spring time. I saw you quietly followed him into the library. My heart was beating at that time. I couldn't stop myself, but my feet started to tail after you. Then, I heard your voice calling his name softly that my heart ached. Behind the towering bookshelf, between the spaces, I saw you with him. You were always serious, so calm and unhuman-like that I never imagined you can smile and laugh like that. Your laughter killed my heart that I couldn't help the tears coursing down on my cheeks. I was crying, but you were too happy with him. Your gentle hands enclosing his, scarlet eyes staring straight to those clear Spring's blue skies. I willed my heart. I know, you were only chummy towards him. I know it and I won't ever stop looking at you... until you gripped both of his wrists and captured his lips with yours.
I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have been there. Shouldn't have seen you in your rendezvous. I have sinned. I want to tell you through this piece of letter my heartfelt apology.
I'm so sorry... Right now, I will try, though my heart is eternally aching, to say goodbye to that clear, sweet Spring memory. I will try to forget how your scarlet eyes glimmer of happiness as you watches your Inamorata... I will forget your soft and gentle voice, full of vitality, that filled my heart with a bit of happiness and comfort... I will try to forget them... To say good bye...
So now, I will end this letter with a seal of promise that I will completely forget that clear Spring memory. Thank you, Akashi, thank you very much. Thank you for showing me a glimpse of your true self. I was happy and although, I would promise to forget about you, the clear Spring's blue skies, the fluttering Sakura dancing with the passing wind, I know I wouldn't forget my first love. But allow me to part my feelings before I let go of those precious memories.
I have always loved you...
Well then... Sayonara Memories...
"Seijuuro-kun?"
The redhead, hearing the soft footfalls of his lover, quickly crumples the letter in his hand, slipping it inside his pocket. The boy, with hair as of that aquamarine stone and eyes clear as the Spring's blue skies, soon halts in front of him, a gentle smile upon his thin, peach-colored lips. "Should we go home together now?"
The redhead could only smile. Yes, his breath is completely taken away. How can he not? He had been watching him, longed for him during that clear Spring term. His clear, light blue eyes that seemed lackluster at first glance, now brims with gusto and life. He wouldn't ever forget the first time he set his lips upon his luscious peach-colored lips. He wouldn't even dream of forgetting it. Never.
"Yes, let's go home, Tetsuya," he softly answers, taking his right hand, his fingers lacing those slender, soft fingers, as he walks with him under the full bloomed Sakura trees. The turquoise head slowly turns his eyes away, a tint of red spreading across his balmy cheeks. The redhead could only smile, squeezing his hand, his scarlet eyes soon look up to the Sakura, its lithe petals, fluttering in the passing gentle, wind.
His heart flutters like the Sakura's petals. And he will never say Sayonara to the person walking beside him.
"I love you, Tetsuya," he softly speaks, his scarlet eyes now directly staring to those flickering aquamarine eyes, mouth gape open at his sudden words.
"I love you more, Seijuuro-kun," the turquoise head softly answers, a smile breaking now on his lips despite the tint red washing over his porcelain white cheeks. His own color brushing against his cheeks. The redhead, smiling, soon pulls him close, his hand gently holding his cheek, his lips sealing him with his lifetime promise.
'I will never say sayonara to this person...'