Chapter Text
Summary: teenage!phan. Phil got his girlfriend pregnant then she left him with the child and Dan is too kind to leave Phil to raise the child by himself.
queerdaniel needed someone to write this so I did.
Genre: Angst, (only this chapter, and it’s light I promise.)
Words: 1.4k (this chapter.)
Warnings: Mentions of sex
TW: crying and being sad.
The music was too loud, the light to dim but intimidating, shadows casting from the lack of it. Twisting words around so they didn’t make sense, Dan Howell everyone. He would say he hated parties but that would break his best friend’s, Phil’s, heart. He hated parties too but his girlfriend didn’t. Stupid girlfriend, you might say. She turned him into something he wasn’t, Dan stuck with him though. Phil was all Dan had, and before Indigo he was happy with that, he didn’t get bullied and he had the best friend in the world.
Dan never knew where all the money came from to pay for parties came from, the bottomless chip bowls and endless polystyrene cups filled with god knows what. Orange juice? Alcohol? Coke? He knew there was a source of alcohol somewhere; everyone was drunk. He would usually make sure Phil had none. If it weren’t for Indigo he wouldn’t have touched alcohol until he was eighteen. Dan didn’t bother to go look for Phil; Indigo had him under close supervision. He only came to the party because Phil said he needed support since he never went to parties, and trust me, Dan wanted to help Phil, he would if Indigo could keep her hands off Phil for just a second.
Dan wandered out the door; Phil was probably going to go home with Indigo anyway. It wasn’t until Dan started driving home that he noticed Phil had forgotten the condoms he bought. That they bought together.
Dan was losing’s his best friend, Phil, who was getting girls pregnant. Dan didn’t want to be friends with that guy.
~
“I can’t believe I’m going to a party. It’s going to be so much fun!” Phil was lying on Dan’s bed, throwing a football up in the air and dropping it.
“Well, if you want to fit in, don’t say parties are going to be ‘so much fun!’” Dan walked over to the other end of his bed and sat down. “Are you sure you want to go, Phil? Because I don’t, I hate parties. You hate parties!”
“I’m sure they’re not that bad. Please come, I need you.”
“I’m sure you don’t…you’ve got Indigo.”
“No, I need you too. Indigo’s great, she’ll show me things, but you…I need you to help me if I fail at everything, like usual.”
“Don’t say that, Phil. You’ve got a girlfriend, look at me…single!”
“Indigo wants too…do it with me. The last time we did it was a month ago and her mum interrupted us…” Phil sat up and gave up trying to catch the football. Dan shuffled closer and hugged Phil.
“Phil, are you completely sure you want to?”
“Yeah. I think I love her, Dan. She’s…just amazing. And…Dan?” Dan looked up, willing his jealousy and tears to stay away. “Um…I was wondering if you could come with me…when I buy…the…you know?”
“No,” was all Dan could say without exploding.
“Condoms…can you buy them with me, I’ve never bought them before. Indigo found her dads condoms . That was kind of weird.”
“Er…sure.”
“Thanks, Dan. You’re the best. What would I do without you? Do you want to go now? The party’s in an hour.” Dan nodded and slipped on his converse. The pair walked out the door into the summery air, not yet summer, but more than spring. The sun was setting, concealing everything in golden light. The light reflected off Phil’s face perfectly, unlike what the light did for Dan; making him more hideous than he already was.
The pair walked into the pharmacy, not really knowing where to go. Dan wasn’t the one who got the condoms the last time he did the do, his boyfriend, Zac, bought them and Phil hadn’t even seen a box of condoms before.
“Can I help you, boys?” A small redhead whose nametag read Thea asked.
“Condoms.” Phil said. Dan and Thea looked horrified.
“They’re down in the last isle.” Dan pulled Phil down that isle.
“Phil!” Dan whisper-shouted. “You don’t ask for help when you buy condoms! You spork!” Phil giggled.
“Sorry.” They’re eyes met in a middle that no one could explain. They always did, before Indigo Dan had always planned on doing something about it, not taking away the special connection their eyes made but connecting other things like soft lips and smooth skin. Now Indigo was here the middle their eyes had was becoming inappropriate. Indigo had seen once, the first time Dan and Phil’s bitch of girlfriend had met. She had grabbed Phil’s chin and forced his lips onto hers. If it caused that much of a reaction they’re special middle must mean something, right? Probably not, Phil was seventeen now, lots of people find their soulmate in late high school…
“How big are you?” Phil’s eyes widened and he blushed. “What? Did someone not think this through? When you asked me to come with you I thought you meant help.”
“I didn’t think this through. I just didn’t want to do this alone. I’m 187mm.” Dan mentally screamed.
“She’s a lucky girl.” Dan said before picking up a box of large. The boys walked up to the counter where Thea was serving them. The pair both got their wallets out. “I got this.” Dan didn’t care how gay that sounded.
“Have fun.” Thea smirked before they walked back to Dan’s house.
Phil resumed his position on Dan’s bed.
“That was so weird. I’m never buying condoms with you again.”
“Good. We should probably go. I really don’t want to do this.”
“Do it for me. Please.”
“Fine, you owe me.”
“Yes!” Phil unbuttoned his shirt and put on a black button up. He left his jeans on, (thankfully, Dan wouldn’t have been able to take Phil in underwear right now,) and adjusted his hair. “We’re taking your car, right?” Dan nodded and headed downstairs, the pit of dread in his mind and soul growing. The pair drove to Indigo’s house and Phil spotter Indigo right away. Phil jumped out and ran up behind her, lifting her up and spinning her around. Dan watched from afar, wishing Indigo would disappear into thin air. He wished he was Indigo.
~
When Dan got home he expected his parents to be home but instead they had left a little note for Dan on the fridge.
Hey, Dan.
We’re out for the night, Chinese in the fridge and yes, Phil can stay the night. Have fun. We’ll be back well after midnight (at least 2am) and we expect you to be asleep by then.
No drugs, no alcohol, and don’t answer the door if there is a stranger. Be safe, Diane and Tim xx
Dan erupted into tears. He actually liked his parents sometimes; they made the house less lonely. Sometimes when Adrian was home they’d play games and talk and make jokes and it would be fun. He loved his parents and he would never want them to leave. Phil was out, drunk, getting knocked up without condoms. He would probably find others somewhere, hopefully, and his parents where out doing whatever. Adrian was barely home, god knows what he was doing. He was all alone. When you looked at Dan you would think he liked being alone and going on the internet without being interrupted. Don’t get me wrong, Dan loved the internet, he just loved company and laughing with them. Something to distract him from the existential thoughts that drifted around his head. Dan opened his laptop and logged onto tumblr. His private tumblr. Phil knew he had tumblr but even he wasn’t allowed to see it. Especially Phil. His tumblr was filled with stories about him and Phil and even his followers knew about his crush on Phil.
Hours later he was still on tumblr even though he was starving and cold. He knew if he went off tumblr the thoughts of Phil losing his virginity with Indigo would come flooding back, the last thing he wanted to think about.
“Dan!” It was only ten, Phil wouldn’t be back this early. “Dan!? Please!” He heard sobs coming from the front room. Dan ran down the hall and found Phil curled up into a ball, sobbing into his knees. “I messed everything up, Dan. I failed completely.” Dan crawled down next Phil and hugged him. Phil buried his head in Dan’s chest.
“What happened?” Phil wiped his eyes and looked up at Dan. “Indigo’s pregnant. One month. I can’t believe I messed up on my first time. I’m so stupid. She told me and broke with me and, and…and she said that when the baby was born she said tha-that I had to take care of the baby… I can’t do that, Dan…” Phil couldn’t stop crying. Dan had to admit, Phil had messed up and even though he slightly wanted to leave Phil in this mess for all the things Phil had done to Dan, Dan couldn’t…he had to help Phil raise this child.