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She was back here again.
This dream always started the same.
She woke up in the same familiar, dull environment. The alarm clock, while loud, didn’t bother her as much, now. It was only waking her from a dreamless slumber, into another day in the force. For some reason, she had worked tirelessly to be here… Within those gray, lifeless walls.
She waited until she could hear the usual rustling and groans from the bunk over her head before reaching over and turned the alarm off. She had learned, over the short year she spent here, that Fuki, who claimed to be a morning person, had a hard time waking up.
She knew it irked her partner that she could get ready in the blink of an eye, despite being the rookie. Despite being a Second.
But no matter. She wasn’t here to make friends. She had a job to do.
Day after day after day, it was the same routine, the same job, with different backdrops. Of course, she would pay attention during mission briefs and during said missions, but other than that… She was just another colorless soldier in a colorless place, in a colorless world.
Until… That day.
The arms deal had felt off the entire time. There were so many mercs, and yet they had barely any firepower, despite the fact they learned it was an arms deal. Usually if there was a time those mercs had superior firepower, it was at those moments.
Still somehow, one of her teammates got caught, and she remembered the scene vividly, how her hands got clammy upon seeing the barrel of the gun against the red hair of Erika. She remembered the girl as being nice to her… It would be a shame if she died here.
And yet, Fuki didn’t give an order to shoot.
The mercs started a countdown. She knew she could do something, knew she did something, that day…
And yet, in this dream, she didn’t.
For the first time, color painted the floor of her dream. Red, vivid and screaming for attention. All at once, her senses took in everything surrounding her; how thin the air was, choking on gunpowder and dust. Dirt and grime was sticking to her skin, a few locks of her hair too, as sweat rolled down her temple. The scent of blood was strong, suddenly, so strong she could almost taste iron on her tongue.
And yet, no matter where she looked, red was overtaking everything. From Erika’s body to the mercs… the floor was changing color right before her eyes.
The gunfire around her was so loud… It was making her dizzy, made her flinch as she had no other choice but to cower behind the short wall she was hiding behind, and cover her ears to try and make it a little more bearable… To no avail.
Soon enough, she couldn’t hear the sound of her breathing, couldn’t feel her heart pounding as she could see the blood was somehow oozing from the cracks in the wall she was leaning on. It was darkening her shirt, staining her uniform, and it spread.
Flinching away as her sleeve kept darkening, growing heavy with each second passing, she looked up, desperately, trying to find help in her teammates… Only to realise that the room was painted in red even more.
None of them were left alive, except her.
The blood spreading soon reached her hand, and it felt warm, was dripping from her fingers in a bloody nightmare, and she tried desperately to wipe it away. With her other hand, on her skirt, her shirt, but all she really did was making it easier for it to spread, slowly but surely taking over her, rending her body heavy as lead and filling her nose with its strong, tangy scent.
Maybe if she left this building…
Desperation fuelled her body to move, despite its heaviness, its stiffness, and she clambered over the short wall, landing heavily on the other side. The fire escape was past Erika’s body, it was a bit far, but she could make it, she could…
Her attention was suddenly drawn to the body that laid not far from her, her eyes widening in horror.
Erika’s body wasn’t Erika, anymore. The blood had turned her uniform to red, like Fuki’s, and somehow, her hair changed. Paler, a familiar blond that she recognised right away as her escape was abandoned, instead crawling as quickly as she could towards the one who brought colors into her life, the one who changed the dull life around her. Her partner for life.
With one good arm and her legs starting to get stiff, it was hard to move, but she made it to her, her breath caught in her throat, her eyes burning with unshed tears. What happened? Why was she here? Wasn’t Erika the one who got caught?
Finally, she was close enough to reach out, to touch her shoulder and make her roll over, to confirm what she didn’t want to know.
And here lied Chisato, wide crimson eyes staring right into hers, one side of her face covered in blood as she could see the terrible damage of a point-blank shot to the head.
“Chisato!”
Jolting away and bolting to a sitting position, Takina had a hard time breathing, breaths ragged and uneven, her heart pounding in her ears. Blinking to try and focus her vision, she looked down on herself, noticing the sweat covered shirt sticking to her skin, as she brought a hand up, confirming there wasn’t any blood on it… But it was shaking so much.
Her dream still vivid and fresh in her mind, she remembered the sight of her blood-covered hand, echoing inside her head, and it made her feel incredibly nauseous.
“It was just a dream,” she muttered, closing her eyes. “None of this happened. It was just a dream…”
Trying to get her bearings, Takina looked up and around the room, hoping to find something that could ground her, convince her… Only to remember that this was her new place, in Hawaii. Starting to get familiar, as they were here for barely a month now, but not familiar enough right now.
Feeling her throat constricting as an ache made itself known in the middle of her chest, Takina turned on her seat, her legs falling to the side of the bed. As she tried to keep her breathing steady, she spied her phone, on the nightstand.
The sight of it brought Chisato to mind, as she wondered if her partner was alright, right now. But the thought was eclipsed by the echo of her dream, Chisato’s big, wide eyes snuffed out of life and staring right into her soul.
Blaming her.
“She wouldn’t…” Takina shook her head, closing her eyes again. “She wouldn’t- She’s fine. She’s… she’s okay.”
If she could just hear her voice, just to confirm that she really, truly was alright…
Before she could think better of it, she grabbed her phone, and pressed the first contact on her contact list for a call, bringing the device to her ear as she tried to swallow the lump in her throat.
She just needed to hear her voice. Just needed to make sure. She’d apologise in the morning, if Chisato was mad about being woken up in the middle of the night.
After an eternity it seemed, the call was taken, and instantly Takina’s shoulders relaxed, just a little.
“‘llo…” Chisato’s voice, though muffled as she was probably still sticking her face in the pillow, was easily recognisable. She sounded half asleep, but she sounded fine.
She was fine. It was just a dream.
“I’m… I’m sorry to call so late,” Takina murmured, the lump in her throat growing in size from the sheer relief. “I’ll let you sleep.”
“Wait, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“Nothing’s wrong,” she lied, now regretting a little that she woke Chisato up. “I’m fine.”
“You don’t sound fine at all,” Chisato now sounded awake, alert, and she could hear rustling on the line, probably her partner getting up. “Do you want me to come over?”
“No no! That’s unnecessary, I- I’m fine-”
“You wouldn’t be calling me at three fifteen in the morning if you were fine, Takina.”
Opening her mouth only to wordlessly close it, she silently conceded the point as she could hear that Chisato was moving around, and she looked down to her free hand, curled in a loose, trembling fist on her lap.
“I just… I had to make sure you were okay.”
A quiet hum sounded on the line, and suddenly, there was a bit of an echo when Chisato was talking… Like she was already out of her apartment and in the lobby of the building.
“Wait for me, alright? I’ll be there in five. Okay?”
Recognising her partner’s tone as the one she used whenever she didn’t want to argue, Takina sighed, quiet, but nodded, despite the fact that Chisato couldn’t see it.
“Okay.”
“Okay,” her partner repeated. “See you soon.”
After hanging up, Takina returned her phone on the nightstand and stayed there, staring at the empty space in front of her. The ache in her chest was still there, the lump in her throat still lodged there. Her legs felt weak, her hands… She couldn’t look at them, for now.
She didn’t mean to make Chisato come over… It was a little excessive. But… Chisato was able to pick up that something was very wrong from what little she said, so… So maybe it wasn’t as excessive as she thought it was.
While waiting for Chisato, Takina changed into fresh clothes, abandoning the sweat covered pajamas into the hamper and trading it with loose shorts and the only oversized, comfy shirt that she had (which had been a gift from Chisato). Then, she made her way to the living room, staring outside at the sleeping city and wondering why she still felt so… unsteady.
Then, something Chisato said came back to her mind.
“Five minutes?” She muttered. “Does she plan to run all the way here?”
No longer than that, she could hear, from the hallway outside her apartment, rapid footfalls coming closer… As if someone was running. And then, someone knocking on her door.
Before she knew it, she was at the door, unlocking it and swung it open, and Chisato was standing there, barely out of breath and offering a bright, beaming smile as if she didn’t get woken up in the early hours of the morning not even ten minutes ago.
“Hi,” was all she said.
Blinking again, Takina stared… Before shaking some senses into her. “Hi,” she finally let out, before stepping aside to let her partner enter.
And as soon as she put on the lock again, Chisato wrapped her into a tight hug, and she could already feel her thumb rubbing soothingly at her shoulder.
Grateful, Takina wordlessly returned the embrace, looping her arms around her partner’s waist and clutching at the back of her shirt, under the jacket she was wearing, unzipped.
“You’re shaking so much,” Chisato commented idly, tightening her hold. “Nightmare again?”
Wordlessly nodding, Takina shamelessly buried her face into her partner’s neck, tucking her cold nose into the crook of it.
“It was worse today, though. You were in it.”
“Hm…”
And Chisato just held her. Without any pressure to talk about her nightmare, without trying to start a conversation, she just held her, silently. Even rocked them gently from side to side, at some point.
Slowly but surely, Chisato’s warmth against her, secured in her arms, made the leftover unease melt away, her shoulders relaxing. With her cheek resting on Chisato’s shoulder, she could feel that, as much as her nightly terror was brushed away, it left her exhausted, her eyelids heavier by the second. Her hands at Chisato’s back were now loosely hooked into the folds of her shirt, and every time she snuggled closer, releasing a small sigh of contentment, Chisato only ever held her closer, the soothing thumb never stopping its constant rubbing.
They must have been standing there for five minutes or an hour, she didn’t know. Couldn’t care less about it, also. For the first time in a while, Takina felt comfortable. At peace.
Even in dreams.
“Are you ready to go back to bed?”
Barely moving to murmur directly in her hear, Chisato held fast to her still, waiting on her answer. Already half-asleep on her partner’s shoulder, though, she could only hum with a nod, but made no move to pull away.
She was barely aware when Chisato carried her, and only realised she did so when she was suddenly getting tucked in bed, her partner carefully pulling the blankets over her, before Chisato slipped under them and snuggled close, going as far as looping an arm around her.
She had no energy to feel embarrassed by the fact her partner was in her bed, and cuddling her. She was simply glad that Chisato was close. That she was fine, healthy, safe and sound, right beside her.
Distantly hearing the content, sleepy sigh Chisato let out, Takina let slumber take her again, abandoning the fight to stay awake. She just wished that this time… Her dreams could relent, just once.
She was sitting on a bench, overlooking the vast city as the sun had set. The lights shone like the twilight sky, only it wasn’t in the sky but the city itself. Her breath came out in puffs of air, the cold making the tip of her nose itch as she buried it in the borrowed scarf she was wearing.
Borrowed..?
Looking to the side, she saw her partner there, sitting quietly beside her. Chisato, too, content to simply look over the lights of the city.
She remembered this place. This is where she brought Chisato, to tell her that she was returning to DA, before… Before everything happened. It felt so long ago, now…
But this wasn’t what they were doing here, she realised. Like some dreams she had before, this one was different from what she remembered. This time, she was wearing a proper coat, and yet, it seemed that Chisato still had insisted to let her borrow her scarf.
For some reason, too, they were eating ice cream, despite that it was so cold out.
It made her huff, internally. It was such a Chisato thing to do, eating a cold treat in winter, eating ice cream when it was cold out.
And yet, when Chisato looked over at her, she smiled so brightly. So clearly happy, to be here with Takina. Her partner took a bite of her ice cream and kicked her feet happily, a delighted sound accompanying the gesture.
With a huff and a smile, she did the same. It tasted sweet on her tongue. Vanilla, her favorite flavor.
They didn’t say anything, during this dream. They were just sitting here, together. And Takina had never felt so calm in her dreams before, so quietly happy. So peaceful.
When she woke up again, she did so naturally, slowly getting her eyelids open as she could see the amount of light in the room, telling her it was morning. A strip of the morning sun painted the ceiling over her, warm, and she stared at it for a moment.
Beside her, a soft sigh sounded, sleepy.
Turning her attention that way, she could see that Chisato was stirring from slumber as well, and a second later, she could see crimson in the cracks of her eyelids, her partner sleepily staring at her for a second before burying her face in the pillow.
“G’mornin’…”
“Good morning, Chisato.”
With a sharp intake of air, Chisato shifted to her side, blinking a few times to better look at her it seemed.
“Did you sleep well?”
Takina pondered the question for a moment, blinking. Ever since everything happened at the Enkuboku and all through Chisato’s absence, her nights had always been restless affairs; nightmares, tossing and turning, just being too anxious to sleep. Spending so many nights overthinking, developing new fears in the process.
But last night, after Chisato came to comfort her...
“I did,” she finally let out, sounding surprised even to her ears.
Chisato smiled, wordlessly. There was something about that sleepy, comfortable smile that set Takina even more at ease, and she returned her eyes to the ceiling, noticing the patch of sun had moved from even that little amount of time.
“Chisato.”
“Hm?”
“Let’s go get ice cream, today.”
“Oh, that’s an idea!” Her partner cheered, always happy to share anything with her. “Let’s do it!”
As Chisato rolled out of bed effortlessly, fully awake now it seemed, Takina smiled to herself, doing the same at a slower pace. Yes, she couldn’t help but think, sitting on the side of the bad as she stared at the glimpse of the morning sun that she could see through the pulled curtains.
Today will be a good day. Today will be a day to remember fondly.