Work Text:
Chuuya Nakahara was enjoying the night city after completing a mission. It wasn’t a hard mission, no, it was fairly easy. The hard part was that the idiots, who turned out to be selling information about the Port Mafia to the government, were spread across Japan. The group of grunts was weak, but there were just a lot of them. It had been a long day, and the amount that Chuuya got rid of was only half.
Chuuya just wanted a rest. No fighting, no paperwork (although there was a whole stack just laying there waiting for him- nope. Don’t think about it. Just no.), and especially not that annoying mackerel.
Just the sight of Dazai would make Chuuya’s blood boil. He hated how Dazai had a silver-tongue, was able to get away with anything, and even managed to leave the Port Mafia! (He actually left him, but if you ask Chuuya about him, be ready to be kicked into the wall.) A leisurely walk to his house would had not caused any problems, but this is Yokohama, not a fairy tale.
A feeling overcame Chuuya. It was indeed a familiar one, and one he knew all too well. A flash of a tan coat caught the attention of Chuuya’s eye. Chuuya swiftly turned around when he caught sight of the tan coat. Could it be? He was half sure that the recognizable color of the coat was Dazai’s, but then again, there were a lot of people in Yokohama that wore the color tan.
I don’t want to deal with that mackerel anyway! Why am I hoping that it's him..? Chuuya thought.
Well, it didn’t matter anyway. If it was an assassin, then that person was no match for Chuuya. He scoffed, that person that was watching him was horrible at being a stalker. If they were employed, then their employer should know that he was the top martial artist in the PM. If they did know then perhaps they were quite dumb-
“Chibi~”
Damnit. Against all odds, it turns out it was indeed Dazai Osamu. The 5’11 adult came out from behind the crowd and wrapped his lanky arms around the short boy. “How are you doing~” Dazai said. “Get off me!” Chuuya screeched.
“Hah, no. Slug, how dare you act like this to your owner~? That’s not nice- ow!”
Chuuya was getting tired of Dazai’s yappings and decided to rib him in the stomach.
“Owww… that hurt, Chibi~” Dazai whimpered and hopped around while giving Chuuya a teasing grin. Dazai was always like that. His entire life right at the moment was to joked around, make some suicide jokes, attempt to commit suicide, do stuff that causes problems to society, and the occasional annoy-Chuuya-for-fun.
Nevermind the part about where Dazai breaks into his house, runs around and steals all his wine, and then Chuuya arrives home and tries to catch him, but fails because Dazai JUMPS OUT OF THE WINDOW. Dazai Osamu. Jumps out of his 12 story WINDOW. Then, Chuuya has to run to the window and also jump out so he can catch Dazai with his WINE. Repeat until Chuuya finally snaps and throws Dazai to the moon. Quite troublesome indeed. Chuuya himself didn’t even know why he put up with the bandaged bastard, and he was ready to punch Dazai in the face.
During Chuuya’s existential life crisis in the middle of the street, Dazai stared into Chuuya’s deep blue eyes.
He could get lost in them on how they were so full of life, something that Dazai’s own dead eyes lacked. Chuuya was human, Dazai was not. Instead, Dazai was an empty shell, stripped of its humanity. What remained left was a mask. Even though Dazai appeared carefree, he was trapped. The reason that Dazai wished to perish was the dread that filled him. Life was short, what is there to live for? People haven’t noticed that life is just throwing your fate around, adding dread and problems to you. Why not just end it? You don’t have to be burdened by people. Be free from your heavy chains. To not be defeated by life, nor by death. Accept death, for they come to all. The beauty of death by self was one you could experience once, after that, it is no more. Dazai yearned for that fantasy, and as the years went by, he believed that the greatest thing to do was to commit double suicide with your lover. It was the principle of life, to live and to die. Nevermind if fate was cruel and yanked the strings. Death awaits you. Why not make it faster? That was what Dazai realized.
“Hey, mackerel. You good?” Chuuya asked, having stopped his train of thoughts and tilting his head in confusion at Dazai.
“Ah, sorry. Just my head in the clouds.” Dazai mused. An idea suddenly came to Dazai. “Slug! How about not talking about this in the middle of the street, and heading to your place~! I think it’s a wonderful idea!” Dazai clapped his hands together.
“Hey! You can’t just invite yourself over-! Ugh, fine.”
Chuuya gave up on arguing with Dazai, too tired to deal with his BS. He merely just rolled his eyes and started in the direction of his penthouse.
“Chibi~ stop walking so fast~” Dazai sang, teasing Chuuya and really just making him more annoyed.
To add to the insult, Dazai leaned down and murmured in Chuuya’s ear, “You know, Chibi has such pretty hair~” Chuuya flushed and spluttered. “H-hah?!”
Chuuya whirled his head around to not show Dazai his blushing face. He was flabbergasted.
That damn Dazai! So… annoying!
Dazai watched him over react and giggled. “Chibi is so funny~!” Dazai teased. Chuuya’s face turned even redder. “Q-quiet. Just… shut up.” Chuuya fumed. Dazai, valuing his shins, was quiet for the rest of the walk to Chuuya’s house.
Dazai skipped to the door, leaving Chuuya behind at the end of the hall. Even though he didn’t have a key, that wasn’t going to stop him from breaking into Chuuya’s house. He pulled out a bobby pin and started on picking it. After picking the lock, the door swung open. Taking the opportunity, Dazai dashed inside and slammed the door shut on Chuuya’s face, the latter growling at what the brunette did.
“Hah~ slug can’t get me now~!” Dazai snickered behind the door.
“OPEN THE DOOR DAMNMIT!” Chuuya screeched.
The pounding began next, and the door looked like it was regretting its life choices. While, yes, Chuuya didn’t even need his ability to kick down the door, but said door was the door to Chuuya’s house. That meant if Chuuya kicked down the door, he would have to replace it. And with the current amount of paperwork at the time? Hassle. It's more efficient to use the house key, but knowing Dazai, he probably used the triple lock that he had installed earlier in the year, used to try and stop Dazai from breaking in again. Obviously, it hadn’t worked, but Chuuya didn’t have the time to remove it yet. Now, he regrets it as the security system failed him. Chuuya groaned. He was locked outside.
“DAZAI! OPEN.THE.DOOR!!” Chuuya kicked the door again but with more force. From behind the door, Dazai giggled at the angry mafioso.
The brunette was having fun watching Chuuya lose his mind. While Chuuya stomped and pouted, Dazai laughed with glee. Seeing the smaller male fail around was bound to put a smile on his face. After a while, Dazai finally took pity on Chuuya and unlocked the door. But the funny thing is, because Chuuya was busy being angry and plotting his death, he didn’t notice that Dazai had unlocked the door. This ended with Chuuya just sitting right outside the door and fuming. Dazai, not wanting to leave Chuuya out like that (also because Chuuya pouting is kind of cute-) opened the door and let him in.