Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

He wasn’t lonely.

Living up in the mountain forest alone, in a small hanok without running water and only having solar panels to bring the small amount of electricity he needed.

He wasn’t lonely, waking up in the morning to the quiet little house, the only sound was birds chirping outside his window, sometimes the wind, sometimes raindrops tapping on the roof. Now that the winter was approaching the birds were quieter and it was mostly the wind that kept him company.

He wasn’t lonely, going to the little stream to get water for his shower container — the one he had made out of a bigger plastic bottle with a sprinkler head from a watering can, duct taped together. The water was freezing cold, but the cold woke him up and he didn’t want to use up all of his firewood to warm up a bath every day.

He wasn’t lonely, checking the house was fit to stand another winter. Those could be vicious in the mountains. He needed to make sure his heating system, the Ondol, was in working order. Maybe he should have already started heating it up, but he needed to fill up his firewood storage. He should have enough of it to last the whole winter.

He wasn’t lonely, driving down to the closest village with his pickup truck to take care of his necessary errands. To buy food, to fill up his water containers, to get his mail — not that he usually got any. Just the few monthly letters to say he’d been paid for his services to the local park rangers. He’d been the only one willing to live up there alone and isolated, taking care of the surrounding forests, the ad he had seen about the place being his saviour at the time.

Now that winter was coming, he needed to buy extra, he needed to have extra reserves if he got snowed in and couldn’t drive back down again due to the road being blocked. He bought more batteries for his lamps, his headlamp and his torches. He needed an extra battery for his satellite phone too, because sometimes it was needed.

He wasn’t lonely when the cashier smiled at him brightly, asking how he was doing and him not being able to answer much back. He wasn’t lonely when he realised his social skills were terribly rusty. He wasn’t lonely when he felt something stir inside his chest and he pushed it down. He wasn’t.

Jungkook was perfectly content living alone.

“I heard it might get a lot colder soon,” the cashier, Jung Hoseok, said as he swiped Jungkook’s items, the machine letting out a loud beep every time.

Jungkook only knew his name, because the man had introduced himself when they first met, probably expecting something back. But Jungkook had merely grunted his name and left that time. Still, Hoseok always welcomed him with a smile.

“Mm,” Jungkook agreed. He kept his eyes on the products, ready to pay and then to quickly pack them in the bags and boxes.

“I guess it’s going to get colder up there first. Looks like you’ve started to prepare.”

Jungkook glanced at Hoseok quickly. He wasn’t sure why the man tried to start conversations with him every time when he rarely reciprocated. He couldn’t find a proper answer to Hoseok’s assumptions so he only nodded.

“That’ll be 53000 won,” Hoseok said and smiled.

Jungkook crunched his brows a little. It was more than he’d thought to spend this time, but he was ready with his wallet, giving his card for the payment.

“It’s always nice to see you come down the mountain,” Hoseok said when he gave the card back and leaned against the counter, watching as Jungkook started packing all the food. “You should pop by the cafe sometime. It’s not much, but my — uh, friend runs it. We’re happy to get new people there.”

Pausing for a moment, Jungkook glanced up at Hoseok again, but then continued packing. He didn’t do cafes.

“I’ll think about it,” he said quietly. But knowing he would go to his car and drive back up to his home and would only return the next week to do his usual routine, water, food and any other necessities.

He wasn’t lonely.

Some people asked him why he’d want to live in the middle of nowhere. At thirty he should be at his prime, working a good job in the city, maybe with a wife, maybe with a child or two. But it wasn’t that simple, it had never really been that simple. School at any age had been a struggle and women didn’t interest him.

And his heart had been bruised and burned, trampled on a little too brutally when he’d been naive and trusting, trying to make a life for himself in the city.

Alone was better, safer.

Two days after his last trip to the village, Jungkook was outside, sitting on his porch, carving a piece of wood with his knife into a shape he didn’t yet know, when he felt it. The distinct feeling of being watched.

He lifted his eyes from the piece of wood in his hands to look around, tightening the grip on the knife handle unconsciously. The forest began almost from his doorstep, tall twisted pines, oaks, mountain ashes and maples already in their orange and yellow glow, bushes covering the gaps lower to the ground. He couldn’t see any movement so he listened for a while, but when he couldn’t detect any sounds either he returned to his work and a little while later, when it got too cold for his fingers, he decided to go back inside.

There were animals on the mountain. Plenty of squirrels everywhere. Jungkook sometimes fed them nuts, they were fun to watch. Deers sometimes walked across his tiny yard. He knew what it felt like when a bird of prey followed his movements from a tree close by.

He tried to shake away the fact that this time it had felt different somehow.

The next time he felt it was when he walked to the small stream that ran by his little house.

Needing another fill of water for his shower and for washing his dishes, he carried with his shower container as well as another container which was not meant for drinking water. The water in the stream was mostly pure and fresh, technically Jungkook could have drunk it if he boiled and filtered it, but doing that continuously was a lot of hassle (so he only relied on it when he was stuck on the mountain and couldn’t drive down). It was pure enough to wash his dishes and his skin as it was. At least he thought so.

The feeling wasn’t a sound or a sight. Jungkook crouched by the stream to feel the water with his hand, careful not to get his old knit sweater sleeves wet. It was cold enough to numb his fingers in seconds.

The feeling was a lingering presence. Eyes on his back. Eyes that had more consciousness than the thought of finding nuts and seeds to survive. It landed on Jungkook’s shoulders with a weird heaviness, breaking his illusion of complete solitude.

Jungkook let his hand stay in the water as his body tensed and prepared. He breathed in and out, hissed when his cold numb fingers emerged to the frigid air, and shook the water off. He calmly filled out the containers, half expecting someone to step out from the forest to stand next to him, but it didn’t happen. Nothing happened.

And as he stood up with the waterload weighing in his hands, he looked around. Still nothing.

But the feeling put him on edge.

“Has it snowed up there yet?”

Jungkook tried to count his money inside his head, having gathered more food again on his weekly grocery shopping trip, but the question brought him out of it.

“Hm?” He looked up at Hoseok.

Hoseok smiled, he seemed patient. “Has it snowed on the mountain yet?”

Jungkook blinked and shook his head. “No. Not yet.” But it wasn’t too long now. The first frosty nights had arrived.

“It’s been really cold. I heard you don’t have running water.”

With a little frown, Jungkook looked at Hoseok again. “What does that have to do with anything?”

Hoseok’s eyes widened, his mouth forming a surprised ‘o’. “Nothing? I was just curious. It’ll be really cold and with no running water, I guess you don’t have warm water either.”

Jungkook bit his tongue to keep himself from saying anything he’d regret. “I’d like to pay.”

“Of course!” Hoseok seemed to get into action, continuing to swipe the products across to the conveyor belt. “60000 won.”

“Here,” Jungkook said and gave his card, feeling the sting of the price. It would be like this for some time now until he was satisfied with his winter storage.

He felt Hoseok’s eyes on him as he packed everything into a crate, but the man stayed quiet this time.

“Let me!” Hoseok finally said, hurrying past Jungkook when Jungkook approached the shop door with the full crate in his arms. Hoseok pulled the door open for him.

Jungkook’s step stuttered a little, but he nodded to Hoseok briefly and stepped out.

The sun was shining from the bright blue sky with only a few little tufts of white clouds floating here and there, but it didn’t feel warm anymore. Jungkook had to squint when he got to his truck. Doing all the groceries had taken long enough for the sunlight to take over the shadow where Jungkook had parked.

And then he felt it again.

Out here of all places, in the parking lot of the small grocery store.

He placed the crate into his car on the passenger seat. He might have to move it once he got behind the wheel, because the road was bumpy and he didn’t want his food flying around. But before moving to leave, he slowly turned to look back towards the store.

He probably imagined it, the flash of red disappearing behind the corner.

He sometimes received a call from the park rangers to go check a place close to his home. Maybe there was smoke and they wanted Jungkook to check if someone had lit a fire illegally. Or maybe someone had reported a dead animal and Jungkook had to go there first to get evidence in case of illegal hunting.

This time he was doing his routine rounds. Walking through the lands around the hanok, checking places where he had found traces of illegal activity and later reporting anything unusual to the park rangers.

This time there wasn’t anything to report, because how could he report a feeling. It was back and it followed him. But when Jungkook tried to look behind him, he saw no one. It followed him all the way to his doorstep. Jungkook closed the door a little faster than normal.

The sound of Jungkook’s axe hitting the pieces of wood echoed in the mountains. The split pieces of firewood clattered to the ground. He’d been at it for close to two hours now, knowing he started late since the light was already disappearing and he still had a pile of wood to chop.

As he placed his axe down, thwacking it to the piece of log he used as the base, and wiping some sweat off his face with the hem of his t-shirt, he heard a twig snap. He turned his eyes to the sound, but the only thing that followed was something scurrying away.

Something, because it didn’t sound like a human with two feet running.

Maybe that was a relief.

The next day Jungkook decided to drink his morning coffee on the porch while watching the snowflakes fall slowly towards the ground. It wasn’t enough to cover the landscape, just small snowflakes here and there, dancing around in the air. But it was the sign that told winter was here and it was only a matter of time when the sparse flakes would turn into a storm.

It was time for Jungkook to make the last preparations. To make sure he had his shovel closeby, that he had his winter tires on his truck, that he had his warmest clothes ready, that his tools were somewhere safe where they wouldn’t get buried in snow. Winter was early this year so it might be a rough one.

The coffee tasted bitter on his tongue, making him grimace, but he couldn’t bother with anything in it so black it was. He didn’t quite even like coffee, if he was honest, but he’d bought a set of five packets of coffee grounds one time on a whim, just because he could, and didn’t want them to go to waste. It was mainly out of habit.

But habit didn’t prevent him from pouring the last bit of it to the ground, already gone cold and way too bitter to be even mildly enjoyable.

And that’s when he saw it. Right at the edge of the forest, hiding half behind a leafless bush. Snowflakes dotting its thick orangey red fur. Light brown eyes staring right at him, its snout doing a little motion indicating it was sniffing the air.

A red fox.

It was the first one Jungkook had ever seen around here.

Jungkook realised he still had his coffee cup tilted, the last drops having fallen, so he lifted it upright, but not taking his eyes off the animal across the small yard. He didn’t dare move.

There was something in the fox’s eyes, the look in them sharp and observing. It blinked a couple times, sniffed the air again and turned around, disappearing into the forest with a flash of its fluffy tail.

Jungkook had nearly stopped breathing so he pulled in a long breath, shook his head and turned around to go inside. He paused at the door though, glancing over his shoulder to where the fox had stood. Somewhere in the depths of his mind, not even acknowledging it, he wished for it to return.

The mountains got a thin snow cover over the next few days. Not enough to prevent Jungkook from driving down to the village for his routine visit again.

He hadn’t seen the fox. Although he wouldn’t admit he was even looking. Though he was. He kept glancing towards the forest when he went about his daily chores. He imagined the feeling of being watched again a couple times, but when he turned to look, there was nothing.

Maybe the fox had been a one time visitor, wandering up to the mountain in search of food. They didn’t usually come up there.

Jungkook walked the aisles of the little grocery store, half in thought, pushing the shopping cart. Somehow he ended up stopping at the tiny pet food section and staring at all the options. There were surprisingly many considering it was a small store in a rather remote village. But perhaps people had a lot of pets there. Jungkook had never thought about getting a pet and he rarely thought about the lives of the villagers.

Now though, he was thinking, would the fox like dog food or cat food?

Looking through the ingredient lists behind the food tins revealed a lot of components that surely wouldn’t be good for a wild red fox. Rice, wheat, strange number codes. Jungkook put the tin back into the shelf and continued towards the meat section.

“Have you got a pet?” Hoseok asked with his bright voice. Surely there were other people working at the store, but somehow Jungkook always managed to end up coming here when it was Hoseok’s shift.

“No, why?” Jungkook said, only quickly glancing up at the cashier from underneath his brows.

“I saw you browsing the pet section.” Hoseok nodded towards the general direction of the aisle where the pet section was. “Not that I was following you or anything,” he added with his eyes wide. Almost comically so.

“Just — “ Jungkook began, waving his hand a little, realising how stupid it would sound if he said he was thinking of buying food for a fox.

No, he was buying food for a fox. The little parcel of fresh chicken meat went across the conveyor belt and Jungkook followed it with his eyes.

“Just?” Hoseok prompted.

Jungkook sighed. “There was a fox on the mountain.”

Hoseok’s eyebrows shot up, he looked slightly startled for a second until it disappeared — whatever it was — and he smiled. “I like foxes, funny creatures. Can be noisy and annoying too. But mostly fun and cute. You’re going to feed it?”

There was something in the tone of Hoseok’s voice as he asked the question. An emphasised lilt, maybe.

“If I see it, I might feed it some chicken.” Jungkook nodded towards the chicken parcel, which was now getting buried underneath his other products.

The bell above the store door jingled as the door opened, getting Hoseok’s attention, his smile widening even further. “Namjoon! Min!”

Jungkook glanced at the people from the corner of his eye — or the person, since there was only one man at the door.

“Where did he go now, he was right here?” the tall, dimpled man with a buzzcut asked, twirling around on the spot.

“He just left,” Hoseok said, sounding confused. But then he turned back to Jungkook, meeting his eyes, giving a strange look.

Jungkook didn’t like this at all. He usually avoided most interaction in the village, only having to converse a few words with Hoseok. And now another person.

“You’re Jungkook-ssi, right?” Namjoon walked closer with a smile. “I’m Kim Namjoon.” He extended a hand.

Biting his teeth together Jungkook grabbed it briefly and bowed. He then turned towards the cash register again. “I’d like to pay.”

He didn’t miss the exchanged glances between Hoseok and Namjoon, making his stomach twist and wishing he could be out of here.

“Namjoon is a bit of a celebrity in the village,” Hoseok said, looking happy as he continued with Jungkook’s groceries. “He published a book last year, he’s a writer.”

“It’s just a little thing,” Namjoon said with a small blush on his cheeks, digging his hands deeper into his jacket pockets.

“Stop being so modest, it was number 43 on the bestseller list just two months ago,” Hoseok laughed.

“Well, true.” Namjoon ducked his head, but smiled.

It was quiet for a moment as Hoseok beeped the last of Jungkook’s items and accepted Jungkook’s payment.

“I’ve always wondered what it’s like living up on the mountain alone,” Namjoon said suddenly.

Jungkook glanced at him quickly, feeling a bigger urge to just get out of here. He didn’t want to start telling his life story to a stranger. Not even about his life in the hanok, that was private.

“It’s okay,” Jungkook muttered.

“It must be very ascetic, returning to nature. It’s fascinating.” Namjoon looked like he was imagining it in his head. “I’d like to chat with you someday.”

How to turn someone, who was probably older than you, down while also being polite? Jungkook would have wanted to tell Namjoon to fuck off, but he was good at swallowing his words, burying things.

“Someday, maybe,” he said quietly. While thinking never.

They say you’re beautiful when you’re twenty and naive.

They say they’ll love you.

They buy you things as long as you stay pliant.

They start telling when they’re dissatisfied even though you don’t remember doing anything wrong.

They finally hurt you and you don’t know why.

Jungkook woke up with a gasp, his shirt sticking to his skin because of sweat and his heart beating wildly inside his chest.

It was still the middle of the night. All dark outside. He hadn’t had a nightmare in a while.

It had been almost six years ago, but he sometimes still could feel the ghost of the sting against his cheek. He pressed his cold hand over where the little scar was. The Ondol warmed up his house enough, but the sweat on his skin made him shiver.

It was pathetic.

The scar on his cheek, the only visible evidence it all even happened, had healed, but the ones inside his heart took more time. If they were ever going to heal.

Jungkook cooked the chicken breast the next morning. It felt silly to cook a chicken breast for a wild fox, but salmonella was a thing and maybe the fox had a sensitive stomach, especially since it lived out here instead of a city where it would get food from dumpsters or other questionable sources and would more likely get used to different bacterial flora. He made the other one for himself, rubbing salt and spices on it before frying it on the pan.

Another reason why cooking the chicken for the fox was perhaps silly was that he hadn’t even seen it in the past few days. But he did it anyway. Put it on a plate, slipped his feet into his boots, threw a puffer coat on, and took it outside. He left the plate where he’d seen the fox the other day and returned inside.

While Jungkook was eating his breakfast, he tried his best to resist the urge to take a look out of the window.

The solar panels needed some adjusting, which took most of Jungkook’s day, so he almost forgot. Until later his eyes landed on the plate and he noticed it was empty. The tracks in the thin layer of snow looked like they belonged to a fox.

Jungkook realised he was smiling while staring at them. It felt foreign on his face.

The morning after that Jungkook nearly stepped on it when he was going to go relieve himself in the outhouse. It, the dead vole on his doorstep.

He stared at the poor little brown thing for a while until his morning brain began putting things together inside his head. There was a dusting of snow at the edge of his porch and on the snow there were familiar looking tracks leading down, across the yard, towards the forest. Like little beads in a row.

And there at the end of it were two yellowish brown eyes, blinking at Jungkook.

Jungkook looked at the dead vole, then at the fox, then at the vole again, opening his mouth.

“What do I do with this? Huh?” he asked.

The fox huffed. Jungkook was sure of it, he heard it, the little snort.

“I don’t happen to eat voles. But I guess thank you for the gift?”

The fox shook its body, its fur becoming even more fluffy, a needed barrier to the cold. And it turned away, disappearing into the forest again.

A gift for a gift.

Jungkook waited for a while before he stepped over the vole and visited the outhouse. He then carefully picked up the dead rodent with his gloves on and disposed of it, feeling strangely grateful that it had given its life so that the fox could bring it to him. But also feeling guilty that he had no use for it.

Whatever went inside the fox’s head.

“He’s always disappearing these days, have you talked to him?”

Jungkook stepped into the grocery store at the wrong time, clearly. Hoseok had a frown on his face, something unusual for him. He was talking to a man Jungkook hadn’t seen before. The man was probably around Jungkook’s age, tall, his arms crossed and leaning against the counter, handsome, if Jungkook let himself think that. He had a frown on his face as well.

“I haven’t, but you know how he is, try to contain him and it backfires. He’s a free spirit,” the man said in a hushed tone.

Neither of them seemed to acknowledge that Jungkook was there so he silently took a cart and began his weekly task. Rationally Jungkook knew he wasn’t the reason for either of their expressions, but the fear was difficult to shake.

The man was still talking to Hoseok when Jungkook was done with his round. This time Jungkook felt already somewhat satisfied with his winter storage so he only bought a couple of extra tins of food with the usual batch.

“Oh! Jungkook-ssi!” Hoseok nearly shouted and his face brightened.

“This is Jungkook?” the other man asked quietly, making Jungkook bristle on the inside. He didn’t like the fact that these people seemed to talk about him behind his back.

It made his heart beat faster. It made him prepare for the worst.

Hoseok nodded at the other shortly, but Jungkook decided to ignore them both this time. He hated the slight tremble in his hands as he loaded his groceries on the conveyor belt.

“I’ve heard of you, Jungkook-ssi, I’m Kim Taehyung.” To Jungkook’s luck Taehyung didn’t try to shake his hand, he bowed his greeting. It was easy to respond with a little nod.

“You live in the little hanok up on the mountain, right?” Taehyung asked.

Jungkook stared at Hoseok’s hands, the speed in which he processed Jungkook’s groceries slowing down. It took a moment of inner battle, but Jungkook nodded again. It was better to feign politeness. People turned against you so easily.

Jungkook had no other place to hide than in his hanok, in this village.

To live, to live, he meant. No other place to live.

Or maybe that wasn’t any better.

“It must be a bit lonely up there,” Taehyung continued. “I don’t think I could live alone like that.”

“It’s fine,” Jungkook said.

“Have you seen the fox again?” Hoseok asked, with that strange lilt in his voice.

Taehyung gasped. Hoseok exchanged glances with him. Jungkook might have concentrated on not looking at anyone, but he always noticed when something happened around him. Something he wasn’t part of. It was difficult to let go of being hypervigilant.

“Once,” he replied.

“Oh!” Taehyung said as if it was somehow revolutionary news.

But there was quiet communication between him and Hoseok again and Taehyung’s face morphed from the excited surprise to something mellower.

“You gave him the chicken?” Hoseok asked.

“I did.”

Hoseok smiled. “That’s nice. It’s 35000 won.”

A lot better than the last few weeks. Jungkook gave him his card, his fingers still had a little shiver, so he hid them under his puffer coat sleeves while the payment was processed. Taehyung kept looking at him from the side and Jungkook felt uneasy. He took the card back as quickly and walked around Taehyung to pack up everything.

“You’ve lived up there, what, three years now?” Taehyung asked.

Jungkook gave him a side glance as he tried to get everything into the bag he had brought with him. Why did he want to know? “Over four.”

“Four? Funny we only met now. My father runs the garage in the village, I work for him. You should come by if you need anything for your car. You have winter tires, I hope?”

The friendliness was alarming. They didn’t know Jungkook. Jungkook didn’t know them.

“I have winter tires.” He put the last items into his bag and gave a nod as he hoisted it off the conveyor belt.

“Bye!” Hoseok said brightly as Jungkook walked towards the door, Jungkook only lifted a hand up in recognition without looking back.

But as he was placing his hand on the handle, the door opened on its own. A man in a grey hoodie, the hood pulled up, stormed in, nearly colliding with Jungkook.

Their eyes met.

A tuft of red hair peeked from underneath the hood.

The man looked startled, his eyes wide and mouth open as he stared at Jungkook. The moment was over in a split second even if it felt like it lasted ages. The man ducked his head down and slipped by.

“Minie! We were just talking about you!” Hoseok’s shout got cut off by the door closing behind Jungkook.

He only now realised he had stepped outside again, the phantom image of those eyes lingering in his mind.

It snowed more during the night. Jungkook stood on his porch still in his pyjama pants and in a warm hoodie, staring at his little yard with a coffee cup in his hand. Even the old football that he had lying around had at least 10 centimetres of snow on top of it, making it look like a strange snowman.

It had snowed enough that he needed to shovel it.

He gulped down the last of his coffee, wrinkling his nose at the taste as usual and walked back inside to change his clothes.

There wasn’t much variation in his days in general. The changes of seasons being the ones bringing it to him. He woke up, made breakfast, looked outside to decide what needed to be done. After his daily chores he made dinner and prepared for bed. It was predictable. Some might say monotonous. But he liked predictable.

It wasn’t predictable when he returned to his porch to see the football right there, pushed to the middle of the yard from where it had been a couple metres to the right. He looked at the curious and chaotic prints in the snow, the joy in them. And he looked up from the ball towards the treeline, already feeling like he was being watched.

“You like the ball?” Jungkook asked the fox who sniffed the air. “I don’t need it, you can play with it.”

He took his wide shovel that leaned to the wall next to his door and pushed the snow out of his way as he walked towards the ball. He then kicked it towards the fox. The fox flinched as the ball landed in front of it, but it didn’t take long for the fox to smell it and try it with its teeth. Jungkook huffed a little half laugh, shaking his head.

He continued shovelling, but it was difficult to concentrate when there was a whirlwind of red fur speeding across the yard going after the ball. When the ball stopped, the fox stopped next to it, prowling first, all quiet and still, and then attacking it with a surprise lunge, puncturing the poor ball between its teeth.

Jungkook laughed.

The sound of it surprised him, as well as startled the fox, who let the ball drop from its mouth into the snow and stared at Jungkook.

“Sorry,” Jungkook said. “Are you having fun? How come you’re not more afraid of me?”

The fox lowered its head a little, not removing its gaze from Jungkook. Then it nudged the ball with its nose, nudged it again so that it rolled closer to Jungkook.

“You want to play?”

The fox’s big triangle ears twitched, it nudged at the ball again.

“You can’t understand me,” Jungkook said quietly. But he took a couple steps closer and gently kicked the ball back to the fox who seemed elated, bouncing on it with its black paws splayed and mouth open.

It continued like this for a while. Jungkook kicked the ball to the fox or somewhere past it and the fox attacked it. In between Jungkook tried to shovel as much snow as he could from the yard, and from his usual pathways.

When he returned from clearing the path to the stream behind the hanok, he found the fox rolling and diving in the snow.

“Playing is hard work, isn’t it?”

The fox lifted its head to follow Jungkook with its eyes.

“I don’t have chicken for you today. I can share half of my steak if you want.” At this point he felt like he was talking to himself, but it seemed like the fox was listening. “I’ll cook some for you and bring it out. If you’re still here.”

He was at the door when he glanced back. The fox had stood up on its four legs again and looked like it might follow Jungkook inside.

“Just — wait here, if you’d want some food.”

It felt bad to close the door between them.

Jungkook prepared a late lunch - early dinner for himself. And as he promised, he cooked part of his steak without any salt or spices.

The fox was still there where Jungkook left it, now sitting in the snow, its fluffy tail curled around its paws. It looked sleepy — or bored — the way it blinked slowly, leaving its eyes closed for longer.

“Sorry it took a while,” Jungkook said. He didn’t want to get too close so he left the plate on the ground next to his porch. “Here. I hope you like it.”

The fox didn’t move first. Jungkook went closer to the door he’d left ajar, hiding partly behind it, and waited.

There seemed to be a couple false starts, the fox twitching to move only to sit back down again. Jungkook’s own dinner was cooling down rapidly at his table and all the warmth was escaping from his house. He held his breath as the fox finally approached, tentatively at first, sniffing the air. Until it looked like it decided it was safe, trotting the rest of the way.

Jungkook breathed out when the fox began scarfing down the meat. He felt like he could return to his own dinner now.

Jungkook stared at his firewood piles in his little shed. They spanned from floor to nearly to the ceiling and filled out over half of the space, the other half left for his tools. And still he felt like there wasn’t enough, having already used more of it than he should have. It was only the beginning of December.

But he gathered a small pile into his arms anyway.

As he returned he already saw the red fur peeking between the porch railing. The fox was sniffing at the door, Jungkook had forgotten it ajar.

”I hope you’re not going in, you don’t belong inside.”

The fox visibly tensed and turned its head to look at Jungkook. It took a step back, shook its fur and ran off the porch.

Jungkook walked up to the door, glancing at the fox who stayed at the treeline.

“You should find shelter, it might get stormy soon.”

He had listened to the forecast from the radio earlier, a snowstorm was approaching the mountain and would start later in the day. The fox seemed to perk up at Jungkook’s words, glancing behind it into the forest, then back at Jungkook.

“I can’t take you inside,” Jungkook said quietly. “You’re a fox.”

As much as his instincts said to let the fox inside his home and as much as he had observed it to be at least half tame around him, a fox was a wild animal. And he didn’t want to be the one to take away its freedom.

It stormed two days straight. A blizzard so thick Jungkook barely saw where he was going when he had to fetch more firewood or visit the outhouse. The wind rattling the roof kept Jungkook awake at night. He hoped his solar panels could handle it.

On the third morning the blizzard had calmed down into a slow dance of sparse snowflakes. The mountain was eerily quiet.

Jungkook hadn’t properly seen the final result of the storm yet. And as he expected, there was a lot more snow now. The tree branches curving down heavily underneath the weight of it. His porch was around forty centimetres above the ground and now the snow was nearly at the same level. Jungkook took a couple steps forward to look at his truck, which was also under a layer of snow.

He sighed. It was going to be a long and exhausting day.

Clearing the way to his truck already broke sweat. Jungkook didn’t mind, he liked the feeling of his body working hard, it left less time for thoughts. He felt happy that he’d remembered to put the tarp over the back of his truck and now he only had to push and brush off the snow to reveal the car beneath.

He worked through lunch, only grabbing something quick to snack on and some water for hydration. The daylight was disappearing when he was done with most of it, the important paths opened, his car, checking everything was still working in the house.

That night he collapsed to bed, feeling more tired than he had in days.

Before he fell asleep he thought about the fox, wondering if it had found a safe place to stay the last couple days. Jungkook thought he could try to drive down to the village the next day to buy more fresh meat. It might not be the easiest to hunt in bad weather.

“Have you tried to reach him?”

“I have, but you know how he’s with phones.”

“What if he’s on one of his adventures, you can’t really keep him tethered.”

Jungkook entered the store quietly, but as the bell jingled above the door, the three men abruptly turned to look at him, all of them zeroing their eyes at Jungkook’s frozen figure. It was Hoseok, Namjoon and Taehyung. Hoseok didn’t smile his usual smile at him, which put Jungkook on edge. More on edge than normal.

As he took a cart and continued towards the usual aisles he was stopped by Hoseok shouting “Jungkook-ssi!”

“Yes?”

“Has it snowed on the mountain? It was quite a storm.” There was a permanent worry frown on Hoseok’s face.

“It did,” Jungkook said, eyeing Namjoon and Taehyung at the same time.

“But you still managed to get down from there?” Taehyung asked, narrowing his eyes.

“My — my truck — “ Jungkook nodded towards the door. “I have good tires.”

The attention made his muscles clench up.

“Seen the fox lately?” Hoseok asked and this time his face had something hopeful in it.

Jungkook let his eyes go from one man to the other until landing back on Hoseok, wondering why Hoseok kept bringing it up. “Not since the storm began. I’m sorry, I need to — ” He pointed at the aisle he was going to and didn’t wait for permission.

The drive down hadn’t been the easiest, but still manageable. Every year Jungkook thought about investing in a plough he could attach in front of his truck, but every year he either forgot or decided to wait for the next winter. To save money.

Jungkook took chicken again, as well as beef. It would hurt his bank account a little bit more than usual, since he often didn’t give himself the luxury of fresh meat or the luxury of beef that often. But thinking about sharing it with the fox made it worth it.

He picked up a few other necessities as well. The time when he might get snowed in completely might be near and there was always the nagging feeling at the back of his head that he needed more, just a little bit more.

The men were whispering to each other when Jungkook approached the counter. Predictably they stopped as they saw Jungkook. Before anyone could say anything, the door opened and yet another man burst inside.

“He’s not in his usual places, I checked.” This man was shorter than the others, longer black hair, something feline in his gaze. “Is this Jungkook?”

How did everyone know his name?

Jungkook stared at the new guy, unable to move.

“Yes, it’s Jungkook-ssi,” Hoseok replied for Jungkook, but it only increased the feeling of wanting to get out of the store fast.

What did everyone even want of him?

The new guy eyed Jungkook up and down, but then turned towards the others, his face softening. “Text or call if you hear of him. I need to go, hyung is waiting.” He threw another glance at Jungkook and disappeared with as determined steps as he’d arrived with.

Jungkook breathed deep and finally began unloading his cart.

“Sorry about him, Yoongi hyung can be blunt sometimes,” Hoseok said.

“Is — is someone missing?” Jungkook asked. Not that it was any of his business. Why did he even ask? He regretted it the moment it left his mouth. He wasn’t supposed to start conversations.

The three men exchanged glances which made Jungkook regret his question even more.

“We’re not sure,” Namjoon said.

Jungkook furrowed his brow as he got all of his groceries out of the cart.

“Our friend doesn’t carry a phone most of the time,” Taehyung said. “He likes to, uh — go hiking.”

“He wouldn’t be out in that weather though, would he?” Hoseok asked, accompanied by the rhythmic beeps of the cash register.

“You know Min, he’s — “ Taehyung shrugged without ending the sentence.

It was just at the tip of Jungkook’s tongue, it was right there, and he sighed, because he was going to say it. “I could keep an eye out, just in case.” He grimaced a little at the sound of his own voice, too quiet and unsure.

But something about it seemed to brighten up Hoseok. “You could?”

“What does your friend look like?”

Another glance between the friends.

“He’s a bit shorter than you,” Namjoon said.

“A bit narrower frame too,” Taehyung added, looking at Jungkook longer than Jungkook was comfortable with. “His hair is — “

“Messy,” Hoseok interjected quickly. “Messy, usually.”

Jungkook listened and tried to embed the information into his mind, no matter how vague. “If I see anyone fitting to that description I’ll — “ He wasn’t sure what he’d do.

“If you’d tell him to call us, any one of us,” Hoseok said.

“Okay.” Jungkook nodded.

“I hope you see the fox soon,” Taehyung said.

Jungkook glanced at him, furrowing his brow. It was a strange thing to wish for a person. “I hope so,” he said under his breath.

The satellite phone started ringing during Jungkook’s drive home. He usually had it on the seat next to him, now he had to reach for it from the glove compartment.

“Yes?” Jungkook answered without looking at the caller ID, there weren’t many people who knew this number.

“Jeon Jungkook?”

“Yes.”

“Park ranger Choi here, we had a call about blood. Someone detected blood under a cliffside while flying a drone camera. Could you check it? We don’t want to worry the locals.”

Jungkook tried to concentrate on steering his car around a sharper bend in the road. “Could just be some animal?”

“It could. Most likely.”

“Hmm. I’ll check. Send the location.”

They ended the call without more than just a “yes” from park ranger Choi.

Jungkook stopped the engine in the middle of the mountain road, and waited. The sound of the incoming text broke the silence and Jungkook looked up the coordinates that had been sent to him. He knew the cliffside in question, not far from his hanok. It wasn’t a big drop, only a few metres, but it was rocky underneath and if there wasn’t enough snow to cushion a fall…

He decided to leave the car on the road, no one else drove here anyway and he was much closer to the cliff from here than if he had to trek down from his house. He was also lucky that he had one pair of snowshoes at the back of his truck. He’d learned it the hard way, having to trudge the deep snow one year when a call came about a dead deer.

The forest wasn’t too dense and the snow wasn’t unbearably deep underneath the trees. It took him a good ten minute walk to get to the cliffside.

And there, right below the drop, was red scattered on the snow.

It had happened before the snowing paused, some of it covered by fresh white. But whatever had fallen down had also got up, and there were prints, paw prints, with blood droplets following along next to them.

Jungkook felt his chest tighten at the sight of the prints, the usual row of beads unsteady and wavering. He followed them with his eyes as far as he could see, it had been heading up. Maybe — just maybe —

He turned around with his heart in his throat and hurried to his car. Once there he haphazardly threw the snowshoes back to the back of the truck, nearly stumbling over his feet as he took them off. And ran to the driver’s side, turning the engine on before the door even closed.

Maybe —

It felt like a fever dream. Why would an animal, who was hurt, seek Jungkook’s hanok?

But maybe —

Maybe he could find it better if he started from his house.

He probably drove a little too fast, a little too reckless, for the condition the small road was in, the tires slipping in a couple bends, but he felt the urgency. Because if — and maybe — and he didn’t want to be there any moment too late.

In no time he was up at the hanok, parking the car next to his shed. He grabbed the grocery bag from the other seat and jumped out of the truck, letting the door slam shut behind him as he was already heading across the small yard.

First thing he needed to do was to quickly put the meat into his small fridge, then put on better clothes for the weather and —

Jungkook halted before stepping onto the porch, his eyes detecting something next to a pine tree just a few metres away from the house.

“No,” he breathed out and let the grocery bag fall from his hand.

The maybe turned into definitely.

And as much as Jungkook wanted to run to the fox, to make sure it was alive, he walked calmly, carefully. Maybe out of fear of the worst.

The fox was lying on its side in the snow. It probably hadn’t been there for too long, since Jungkook would have seen it before he left if it had been there then. And the closer he got, the more details he could see. The blood from its nose, the laboured breaths — at least it was alive. When Jungkook was right there, it opened its eyes, looked straight at him and let out a high pitched whine.

“Fuck,” Jungkook whispered. “I’m going to try to help you. Please don’t bite me.”

Without further thinking he shrugged off his puffer coat and approached the fox with it, planning to somehow manoeuvre the fox onto the coat so that he could carry it inside. The fox seemed to merely follow his movements, letting him do what he needed to do, as if it knew Jungkook was trying to help it.

There was no way of knowing the scale of the injury, or if the fox would die in Jungkook’s care, but Jungkook was going to try. With a few small growls and whimpers from the fox, Jungkook managed to wrap the coat around it and lift it carefully into his arms.

Before Jungkook began walking back, there was a moment. The fox looked at him, really looked at him, right through the surface to the depths. And for some inexplicable reason he knew the fox trusted him fully.

He carried the fox inside, going back and forth a few times until settling with the idea of making the fox a bed on the floor next to his own mattress. The floor felt warm to the touch as Jungkook placed the fox down, still bundled in his coat.

“You just stay here for a moment. Just a moment.”

He got up and searched around. He didn’t have much, because he never needed much, but he found a couple of old pillows and a blanket, building them into something that resembled a dog bed. It had to do.

He then went to the fox again, it hadn’t moved from the coat bundle at all. With its eyes closed Jungkook feared for the worst for a couple seconds, but then he saw its chest move, and when Jungkook began lifting it up, it looked at Jungkook again.

“I’m just moving you a little. So that you’re a bit more comfortable.”

The fox seemed to let out a sigh as Jungkook put it on the pillows.

“I wish you could tell me where it hurts,” Jungkook sighed too.

He didn’t know how far the closest vet clinic was, or if they even treated wild animals. And driving down the mountain when it would get dark soon wasn’t a good idea. So the only option for now was to look through his medical cabinet for gauze and cotton balls so that Jungkook could clean away some of the blood from the fox’s face — if it would let him do that, and to feed it for now. In the long run that might mean an extra trip to buy more meat, depending on how long it took for the fox to recover. He had different types of canned meat in his storage and having the fox here would only mean one more mouth.

He had an injured fox in the house.

Jungkook remembered the grocery bag still outside and quickly brought it in, putting everything away, before he returned to the fox. It was looking around, trying to lift its head, panting a little, maybe from the pain, but seemed to calm when Jungkook kneeled next to it.

“Can you move your legs? Well you walked up here so I’m guessing yes.” Jungkook asked, but shook his head almost instantly. “You wouldn’t know what I’m saying.”

But the fox started to get up.

“No, no, don’t get up, just lie there,” Jungkook said in a hurry. “Just let me see what I can do for you.”

Jungkook brought his hands slowly towards the fox’s head, waiting for a sign or a warning to back up. But when he didn’t get one, he gently wiped some of the dried blood from the fox’s nose with a damp cotton pad.

It went on like that for a good amount of time, Jungkook wasn’t keeping count. Slowly, he continued to clean the blood away. It was hard to tell what type of injuries the fox had, because of the thick fur. And if there were any internal injuries, Jungkook only hoped they were minor ones.

“I wish I could do more,” Jungkook said quietly as he was putting the used cotton swabs away. He looked outside the window, it was already getting dark. “I — I need to make dinner.”

He stood up and turned the lights on, proceeding towards his kitchen area.

The fox ate the meat Jungkook prepared for it with a good appetite, which was encouraging, and Jungkook left a bowl of water close by.

The evening was quiet. It was strange having another living being inside the house. Jungkook’s eyes searched the fox out almost automatically no matter where he was in the space or what he was doing. And before he got into his bed, he dragged the pillows the fox was now sleeping on a little closer to his mattress. He knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep much, wanting to keep an eye on the fox’s breathing.

Despite what he thought, Jungkook fell asleep and didn’t stir.

Until hearing someone groan through his dream.

He cracked an eye open, heart beating faster inside his chest. It wasn’t an animal sound.

He lifted himself up on his elbows to look into the room, there was barely any light, still time left before sunrise. But he didn’t detect any movement. His bed was at the other end of the building and otherwise it was one continuous space, because it was so small. The table right there with the pillow for a seat next to it, the kitchen behind it.

Jungkook blinked, finding it difficult to keep his eyes open. He was about to lay down again when he remembered the fox, so he took a look.

And it looked strange.

He reached above his head for the little lamp that was next to his mattress and clicked it on. At the same time he heard the groan again and turned his head quickly towards the source.

It should have scared him.

It should have.

Maybe it was the shock.

Jungkook froze for a moment, then slowly lifted himself up to sit.

There, on the pillows and on Jungkook’s puffer coat, was no longer a fox, but a man. A naked man with messy fiery red hair. The makeshift bed was clearly too small now, even with the man curled up on his side, seemingly still asleep, face scrunched in pain.

Jungkook had seen that face before. He remembered the eyes.

The fox was gone.

The man was there.

Jungkook looked around the room again. There weren’t many options for a fox to hide, being too big for the smallest cracks.

The fox was gone, the man was there.

It didn’t make sense.

But why at the same time it did.

It made even less sense why Jungkook didn’t surge up from his mattress, curse the man for being inside his house and throw him out.

So he did what at that moment made the most sense to him. He stood up from his bed and went to the medical cabinet again. He knew more about human health. He knew how to best take care of bruises, possible broken ribs. It was something he’d researched for himself after falling off the roof one winter. And all those years ago when he needed to learn how to hide his pain. He still hoped there wasn’t any internal bleeding, that would be more tricky.

Jungkook stopped with the pain medication and the lotions he was carrying and simply stared for a moment. It dawned on him that he took the man as the fox without much questioning. That the man would have the same injuries as the fox had.

Maybe this was an elaborate dream.

He shook his head.

As he took a step closer, Jungkook saw the man begin blinking his eyes open slowly. Jungkook followed the movement of his lashes fluttering against his cheeks, frowning at the beginning turmoil of different feelings. The man let out a whine as he stretched out a little, making Jungkook want to keep his eyes on the man’s face. Then the man turned his head and when his widening yellowish brown eyes, briefly reflecting the lamp light, landed on Jungkook, he shouted.

”Oh shit fuck!” He scrambled up to a seated position with a pained expression, holding his ribs. He looked down at himself, then at Jungkook, and blinking as if willing the image before him to disappear. “This wasn’t supposed to happen, I swear.”

”You’re a fox.”

”Well, I can explain.”

Chapter Text

Jimin was filling the shelves at the grocery store when he first saw Jungkook. That was around four years ago.

He was placing a Shin Ramyun packet where it belonged and another already in his hand to join the first when the door opened and a stranger stepped in. Jimin took a step back into the shadows, he was used to being careful with new people even though they didn’t know what he was if he was in his human form. And from the shadow of the shelf he observed.

It was still summer and the man wore a dark hoodie and a pair of shorts. He looked closed off, timid. His broad shoulders carried a weight Jimin could sense from him even watching from afar. There was something in the way the man didn’t look at anyone, the way he seemed to have little nervous ticks only Jimin noticed. Biting his lip, moving his fingers, touching his face. He reminded Jimin of a little vole who came out of its hole into the sunlight, scared of being eaten, but having to be out in the open anyway to feed itself.

The man did his grocery round as efficiently as he could. It looked like he had been there once or twice before to know his way around. And at the cashier he barely said a word to Hoseok.

No one could resist Hoseok. Not even Jimin when he got lost as a pup and ended up in Hoseok’s family’s backyard. Unsuspecting seven year old Hoseok was simply happy to see a fox kit and brought Jimin cat food. The food was disgusting, but Jimin was immediately addicted to Hoseok’s smile.

“Who was that?” Jimin asked when he sneaked towards the counter.

“Oh jeez! Jimin, make a sound will you,” Hoseok said with a hand over his heart. “Who’s what?”

“The guy.” Jimin nodded towards the door. “The one who just left.”

“Oh, him. Jungkook, that’s all I know, not a man of many words, that one. He moved to the little hanok on the mountain, the one owned by the park rangers.”

Jimin pursed his lips in thought. The hanok on the mountain was a very lonely place, not for humans to live happily in. Jimin sniffed the air, detecting a faint smell of different, of new. Of sunlight and vanilla, of fresh soap. Of something he would want another sniff of.

“Min, I can see what you’re thinking,” Hoseok said.

“Huh?” Jimin turned his eyes towards his friend, having almost forgotten Hoseok was there since he stood so still.

“You have that look on your face.”

“What look?”

“The same look you had when Yoongi hyung arrived in town and you wanted to solve him.”

“But it turned out alright. He’s a friend now,” Jimin said and turned to stare at the door again. He wasn’t sure which of the car sounds was Jungkook’s.

“It turned out alright, but it might not always be that way with everyone. We know nothing about him.”

“He looked lonely. Sad.”

Jimin knew something about being the only one of his kind. After having wandered into the village as a pup, he never found his way home. In flashes he might have remembered that there was no home or family to return to, but those could have been a dream. He simply stayed. And Hoseok learned to feed him other things than cat food.

People who knew said he was magical, a spirit. But to Jimin he was simply Jimin.

He was Jimin who sometimes was a human and sometimes a fox, depending on his mood.

He was Jimin who helped his friends by doing odd jobs for them here and there, never really able to settle down to just one thing.

He was Jimin who still didn’t quite have a home or many things that belonged to him even though he suspected he was around twenty-eight in human years. He lived on one of his friend’s couches as long as they let him stay. He had a backpack and a duffel bag for his belongings, clothes mostly, shoes sometimes. If he felt like it, he had a few small caves he liked to curl inside during the summer heat or in the winter cold.

Though he must admit, he preferred to be inside during winter.

The next time Jimin saw Jungkook was a couple weeks later. Jimin was just about to arrive at the grocery store, but decided to stay behind a corner of the shop and watch as Jungkook carried his grocery bags into his truck. (He ended up seeing Jungkook carry his groceries to his truck several times over the years, carefully hiding from him.)

Jimin had heard the world was vibrant with colour, but to him it was beautiful shades of yellow and blue, many shades of grey too. When he explained it to Hoseok one time, his hyung had said he must be colourblind. But Jimin was simply a fox.

Jungkook was dressed in darks and blues. Jimin didn’t have to guess if the yellow car was actually green or red, because it was grey and not yellow at all. And he didn’t need to see the colours like humans did to see the weight hadn’t been lifted from Jungkook’s shoulders, not yet.

“Jimin-ah,” Yoongi greeted him from behind the counter as Jimin stepped into the cafe. It was usually quiet, only a few locals and their friends as regulars outside the summer season, but somehow Seokjin and Yoongi made it work. For Jimin that was magic.

“Hyung, do you know Jungkook?” Jimin said.

“Jungkook?”

“The guy who moved onto the mountain.”

“No.”

“Oh. No one knows him.”

“What do you mean?”

“I need someone to become friends with him to tell me if he’s safe,” Jimin said with frustration. “But no one does.”

“If he doesn’t want to be with the people in this village, then we have to respect that choice,” Yoongi said and handed Jimin an apron. “And maybe that means it’s good to stay away.”

Jimin usually cleared and cleaned the tables or did the dishes in the kitchen. “You didn’t want people around you when you arrived, but it was good that I didn’t stay away.”

“Sure. If you want to put it like that.”

“Sometimes humans want silly things,” Jimin grumbled.

“Sometimes you want silly things. Get to work.” There was a good natured smile on Yoongi’s face.

But Jimin narrowed his eyes. “No.”

Yoongi raised his eyebrows. “No?”

“Later.” Jimin handed the apron back. He had a feeling he needed to run out his emotions on four paws before he could act more like a human again.

It turned out Jungkook wasn’t a social creature. No matter how much Hoseok tried over the years, Jungkook never gave much. But Jimin latched tightly onto every bit of information his hyung could spare him.

“I think your crush is getting out of hand,” Hoseok said one night. He had agreed to let Jimin bunk in his spare bedroom for a couple weeks.

“What do you mean?” Jimin asked, lifting himself up to a seated position, having had his head in Hoseok’s lap.

Hoseok looked at him as if he should know, but human things were often quite ephemeral in nature to him.

“You’re stalking him.”

Stalking sounded like a serious accusation even if Hoseok was smiling.

Jimin furrowed his brow. “I’m not.”

“Yes you are, dear.”

“I’m waiting. But he doesn’t let anyone close.” Jimin turned his eyes back to the television. He didn’t care much about the things on the big screen with the light, but sometimes it was fun amusement.

His brain must have been different, because his friends enjoyed their movie nights a lot. And Jimin took advantage of them by curling up at one of his friends’ side and maybe napping. Like tonight with his hyung before Seokjin would come back home.

“What do you mean by a crush?” Jimin asked after a short while. “It doesn’t sound very healthy.”

Hoseok snorted. “Why do you like Jungkook?”

“Do I like him?”

“There has to be a reason why you’re so obsessed about him.”

Jimin leaned against Hoseok and thought.

Something about Jungkook had made Jimin want to protect him. The first time he saw the man, Jimin wanted to protect him from whatever it was that made him so timid. He was curious about Jungkook’s smile. All humans had different smiles. And there were different smiles inside one person. Which one would Jungkook have? Would he have any at all?

A human on the mountain alone was a worrying thought.

It was an instinct.

A feeling.

A thread.

Jimin wasn’t sure.

“How can I like him if I don’t know him?” Jimin asked.

“I guess you could like how he looks? He’s quite handsome, I’m sure you’ve noticed that.”

“Handsome?” The way Jungkook looked like a freshwater stream after a long run in the summer, or like the moon lighting the way during the night with the stars in his eyes, like a sturdy tree trunk — or two. Jimin snorted at his thought. “I guess so.”

Jimin continued to look from afar. One year turned into two, then to three. And he was no closer and Jungkook didn’t look much better. The fresh air would do anyone good, but the solitude… Jimin was convinced Jungkook needed something else instead of hiding on the mountain.

The instinct to protect was a difficult beast to bear especially when you had no way of getting close.

Until.

Jimin was on his run one day. He climbed higher in the mountain forest than usual, it was autumn. The sounds twitched his ears, a little critter here and another there beneath the leaves, at least twenty lengths of his fox body to the right. But as he was taking that direction the wind brought something down and into his nose. A familiar scent.

And when he was a fox it was more difficult to resist.

He hadn’t been to the hanok before. It belonged to the park rangers and as a rule Jimin had learned to avoid it. The park rangers let the animals be, they helped them if they could. But they were curious people, snooping around in the forests. And Jimin had a secret to keep.

This time though he couldn’t help it.

He continued his way up, following his nose, until he could see the little house appear behind the trees. And there he was, sitting on the porch steps, something in his hands.

Jimin crouched down on his belly, hidden by the leaves still attached on the branches of the bush, and watched.

As Jungkook was carving something with a little knife — it’s what Jimin assumed he was doing — Jimin felt a strange swell inside his little fox body. Around his chest. And the feeling told him to approach, told him to go there and take care of Jungkook the way he needed so that the perpetual cloud over him would dissipate.

But just as Jimin was about to do exactly that, Jungkook lifted his head, directing his eyes straight towards where Jimin was hiding, and out of instinct Jimin pressed himself closer towards the earth, flattening his ears to his head.

Jimin was too scared to move. Not until he watched Jungkook stand up and go back inside would he leave.

It became almost a daily habit after that. Daring himself to go back to the hanok. And sometimes he did that, sometimes he didn’t. Sometimes he was successful at talking himself out of it.

He watched as Jungkook carried water from the stream. He was there when he got out of the store again one day, but in his human form he was more scared to show himself, so he hid quickly. He followed when Jungkook hiked around the mountain forest.

There was a turning point. It involved a pause in wood chopping, a flash of bare skin and the damned twig that got caught underneath Jimin’s paw when his mouth hung open at the sight. He wasn’t quite sure why it affected him so much, but next to the desire to protect came the desire to touch.

It was close, but he ran away.

That time.

And he returned the next day.

It was snowing. For Jimin it meant he would lose his natural camouflage soon. At least he thought he had an advantage of being of similar colours than the earth and the foliage. Not in snow though.

Jungkook stood on the porch with a cup in his hand. He made a face every time he took a sip. Jimin took a few steps closer, still in the forest, feeling like he was under its protection. Jungkook came closer too, not stepping off the porch, but pouring the liquid out of his cup. Jimin could smell the scent of coffee in the air.

Jungkook froze like a scared little bunny before Jimin would leap at it, and their eyes met.

Jimin’s world shifted.

He would have to approach carefully. Wait for the bunny to come out of its burrow. To earn its trust.

He wasn’t going to pounce at Jungkook, of course he wasn’t. Human’s made poor prey for small predators like Jimin.

He was going to become Jungkook’s friend in his fox form.

Jungkook’s body twitched, a minuscule movement, but Jimin detected it in an instant. He tried to get a whiff of Jungkook’s scent, but the wind was probably blowing it away. Jungkook lifted the cup upright, his body relaxing in a way Jimin hadn’t seen before. Yet he kept staring.

Jimin would come back, he decided. He would come back and take care of Jungkook properly. Now wasn’t the time. This was only the first step.

And Hoseok was probably waiting for him at the store. Jimin lost his sense of time easily, only listening to the signs of nature. Nature was telling him to turn back if he wanted to get down, do his shift and sleep in a comfortable warm bed before it got dark.

He’d read that foxes, the real kind, the not-turning-to-human-occasionally -kind, liked to wander around in the darker moments of the day. In the cover of dusk and night. And while Jimin did too, he also enjoyed the comforts a human home could offer and didn’t want to scare any of his hyungs by appearing too late.

So he broke their stare and turned around, heading back down the mountain.

“Do you ever think about if love is an illusion?” Namjoon asked as they were walking down the street one day. “Our reality is as we perceive it, I see it differently than you do. What if I don’t believe in love, does it still exist?”

Jimin kicked a pebble out of his way, burying his hands into his hoodie pocket. “The moon reflects the sun, but that doesn’t make it the sun, you know?”

Namjoon nodded. “I like your perspective on things.”

“I know you do.” Jimin bumped his shoulder to Namjoon’s gently. “Don’t think about love too much, hyung. It’s like water, you can’t catch it, but sometimes it flows through you.”

“Or by you.”

“Or by you.”

Their footsteps scraped the asphalt and the grocery store was in view already.

“Is it writing again?” Jimin asked. “Are you having troubles?”

Namjoon sighed. “It’s always writing. Always.”

“You need to give your brain a break, hyung. Did you know overthinking can cause inflammation in the brain?”

“I didn’t. I need to think less then.” Namjoon flashed a smile.

Sometimes Jimin had the urge to put his index fingers into Namjoon’s dimples when he smiled, but he never did.

“Where do thoughts even come from?” Jimin asked as they approached the store door.

“Haven’t you read enough neuroscience papers to know that?” Namjoon asked back.

“I only read them to understand humans and to see our differences.”

Namjoon’s smile faded a little, but he opened the door.

The bell chimed.

Jimin drew in a breath as he saw who was at the counter, pivoted and quickly stepped away from the door.

“Namjoon! Min!”

The door closed.

“Where did he go now, he was right here?” Namjoon’s voice sounded muffled from the inside.

Jimin sighed. Maybe he could’ve gone in. But Jungkook didn’t like people.

“You visit him as a fox, don’t you,” Hoseok said once Jimin finally entered the store, well after he’d watched Jungkook leave with his truck.

“And if I do?” Jimin said, leaning against the counter.

Namjoon looked at him for a moment. “Has the water splashed on you?”

“What?” Hoseok had his brows furrow.

“I don’t know if it’s water yet,” Jimin answered.

“I swear you two always speak in code. Just be careful Min. He seems to be harmless and he even bought meat for the fox — for you — but you never know.”

“Hobi is right, Jimin,” Namjoon said quietly. “Just be careful.”

Jimin circled the plate, the smell of the chicken enticing to his nose. Hoseok had told him Jungkook bought chicken for a fox so of course Jimin had to come and see if it was true. He didn’t see Jungkook anywhere, but the chicken was there.

Jungkook was feeding him.

He was glad it wasn’t cat food, at least Jungkook understood that.

But now that the chicken breast was there, cooked, it seemed, Jimin felt a pang of a human emotion for not realising he could feed Jungkook too. Part of protecting someone was providing for them and Jimin had failed.

He didn’t let the chicken go to waste though, it was delicious. And he would reciprocate the kindness.

The next morning he was up early, earlier than the dawn. Shedding his clothes he transformed and ran towards the mountain.

He could easily hear the squeaks of the little creatures through the snow, their pattering tiny feet as they ran through the tunnels they had already created. Jimin sat on the snow, tilting his head this way and that, letting his big ears catch the sounds from every direction, trying to pinpoint exactly where he could find the fattest vole.

He waited. Listened some more. Until he took a leap and pounced through the snow cover, nose and front paws first, right at his prey, snatching it between his teeth, biting the little body several times until the squeaking stopped. As he tasted the blood on his tongue he felt tempted to eat the vole himself, but he had a mission.

Sneaking towards the hanok was easy when everything was quiet and dark inside. Jungkook must have been sleeping. It felt strange walking up to the porch where he’d seen Jungkook so many times already. He placed the vole right by the door, nudged it with his nose once, and turned around to leave.

He stayed at the treeline and waited.

When the door creaked open, Jimin felt a bubbling of nerves inside his stomach. He followed Jungkook’s movements closely with his eyes. Jungkook noticed the offer immediately, it was a success —

“What do I do with this? Huh?”

You eat it, I’m trying to feed you, Jimin thought. Jungkook shouldn’t be so difficult.

“I don’t happen to eat voles. But I guess thank you for the gift?”

That was not fair. It brought Jimin confusion, the way it always happened when he forgot part of his humanness. He shook some of the confusion out of his body, but there was another feeling, right below the surface. It was something he couldn’t quite recognise so he had to leave and think. As a human, preferably.

The feeling of embarrassment, of failure.

Jimin would’ve rather not realised them when he got back from his mountain run this time. But when he shifted back to a human, Jungkook’s words made more sense. Bringing a small freshly killed mammal on his doorstep wasn’t probably the best idea. Humans ate their meat prepared and cooked.

It was enough to keep Jimin hiding from his friends until he was ready.

And then it happened.

Jimin decided he had wallowed enough in his feelings. He usually hid in Taehyung’s father’s garage in times like these, at the upper level of the storage room where they held all their tires. It was dimly lit with the ceiling closer up there and it had a certain scent Jimin found comforting. Motor oil and rubber. He’d played with Taehyung there when they were young, building different formations of the tires or just hiding inside the tire towers.

These days Taehyung often forgot to search from there if he tried to find him, because Jimin never said he still used it as a hiding place.

But it happened.

Jimin was walking towards the store, because he was sure he’d forgotten that he promised to help Hoseok with inventory — again. It was possible it was supposed to happen yesterday.

Buried inside his thoughts he didn’t notice the cars at the front and he didn’t make any effort to listen at the door before going in. So when he pushed the store door open, he nearly walked into someone’s chest.

It was his frightened bunny, eyes wide as they met with Jimin’s. And everything screeched to a halt inside Jimin’s head.

The moment didn’t last long before he realised the silly mistake he made yesterday and the fact that he was trying to hide from Jungkook, so he averted his gaze and ducked past.

“Minie! We were just talking about you!” Hoseok shouted from the counter as the door closed behind Jimin.

He stood still, barely registering what Hoseok said, because he was fighting against the instinct to go after Jungkook. It was not the time yet. Jungkook wasn’t ready. And maybe Jimin wasn’t either.

“Jimin?” Oh, Taehyung was here too. “You okay?”

Jimin lowered the hood off his head and shook his hair so that it wouldn’t lie so flat. He glanced over his shoulder towards the door, wanting to let out a little whine, but resisted it.

“We were wondering where you’ve been lately,” Hoseok said and it was enough for Jimin to get himself moving towards his hyung.

Jimin circled the counter and went straight for a hug, hugging Hoseok’s middle and burying his face in hyung’s neck. “I tried to feed him raw meat, what if he hates me?”

“Who?” Taehyung asked.

“Jungkook.”

“You’re not worried he recognised you just now?” Hoseok asked, finally placing his arms around Jimin’s body and holding tight.

“Am I that recognizable?”

“Maybe. It’s the eyes.”

“And the hair,” Taehyung added.

“What if he hates me?” Jimin repeated.

“I’m sure he doesn’t,” Hoseok said.

“What type of raw meat?” Taehyung asked. “And why are you trying to feed him?”

“He needs someone to take care of him,” Jimin answered.

“I’m pretty sure he’s older than you,” Hoseok chuckled.

“He seems a bit strange, quiet.”

Jimin narrowed his eyes at Taehyung. “And how is being quiet strange?”

“Well it’s not. Just didn’t seem like the friendliest type.”

“You haven’t seen him smile, that’s all.”

“And you have?” Hoseok pulled away from Jimin’s hold to see his face.

“He doesn’t like people,” Jimin said.

Walking through the snow became a little more difficult as it kept piling up, but Jimin’s instincts drew him back onto the mountain again and again. And after having the moment of nearly being nose to nose, Jimin wanted to get closer.

His target was to get to the porch, but as he walked past the ball buried in snow he stopped and returned to it. Or in truth, he looked at it several times as he approached, as he was right there, as he was already past it, feeling the itch to try it with his teeth. It was a fox thing. So he gave in.

It looked like a funny little snowman, the cold leathery surface slippery under his bite so it rolled over. Jimin jumped a little on his four paws and followed it. He wasn’t so into it that he didn’t hear the approaching steps and the door creaking open. By the time Jungkook came out, Jimin had fled to the treeline.

“You like the ball?”

Maybe, it depends. It wasn’t something Jimin wanted to admit, being a serious fox, but as a human he liked the act of kicking one with his friends.

“I don’t need it, you can play with it.”

Jungkook pushed the snow out of his way with a shovel and soon the ball landed in front of Jimin, making him flinch. It didn’t have Jungkook’s smell on it, but Jimin couldn’t resist trying the ball with his teeth again, just carefully, just a little bit. That’s all.

And something clicked inside his brain when he heard the little huff of a laugh Jungkook let out. Warmth flooded around the space of Jimin’s heart and he lost all of his inhibitions. If him biting the ball made Jungkook laugh, then Jimin wanted to hear more of it.

So he satisfied two of his needs in one go. Speeding across the yard as Jungkook worked shovelling the snow, hoping he would look and laugh again. Hoping there was a smile when Jimin finally stopped.

But when Jungkook seemed to be too concentrated in his efforts with the shovel, Jimin decided to change his tactics. He needed to show Jungkook his prime hunting skills, to show he was a good provider. His graceful leap arching through the air, his pounce towards his target, demonstrating how he would kill his prey by biting the ball between his sharp teeth.

And there it was again, it rang through the air like spring sunshine and melting icicles. Jungkook laughed.

Jimin dropped the ball from his teeth and stared.

Jungkook’s smile was younger than he was. It was the sparkling water of a bubbling stream. (Maybe it ran through Jimin now). It was the first spring flowers coming through the snow. It was the scent after the rain. It was —

“Sorry.”

No, why?

“Are you having fun? How come you’re not more afraid of me?”

Should I be?

Jimin didn’t like this. He didn’t like to see the smile fall, he wanted it back. So he pushed the ball with his nose. It was a stubborn thing, not moving the way he wanted it to, so Jimin pushed it again, rolling it closer to Jungkook.

“You want to play?”

If you laugh, if it makes you smile, then yes.

Jimin pushed the ball again and missed what Jungkook muttered under his breath when Jungkook was already coming closer, causing Jimin to vibrate with excitement. And then Jungkook kicked the ball again and Jimin did his best to make him laugh and smile. He had no thought to spare how silly he might have looked, he simply needed to hear the beautiful sound again.

But it was exhausting and Jungkook was working way too hard to notice so Jimin gave up, panting. He ate a few mouthfuls of the snow to quench his thirst and cooled his body by lying and rolling on it.

“Playing is hard work, isn’t it?”

Silly human, I wasn’t playing.

“I don’t have chicken for you today. I can share half of my steak if you want.”

Jimin perked up with the notion of food. Maybe Jungkook was the good provider after all and Jimin had to amp up his game. Though he had no idea how, since he couldn’t actually cook his prey for Jungkook.

“I’ll cook some for you and bring it out. If you’re still here.”

Jungkook walked to the door and Jimin stood up, feeling the urge to follow.

“Just — wait here, if you’d want some food.”

The door closing between them started a battle inside Jimin’s head. He could have risked everything and turned into a human, knocked on the door and asked to come in. But he didn’t. Even as a fox he still had the sense to know it would be too early. He made Jungkook laugh today, he made Jungkook smile. Soon it would be safe to approach him as a human. First a few more laughs and smiles. That was the way to heal whatever it was that bothered Jungkook. That was usually the way Jimin’s hyungs felt better too.

It took a long time for Jimin to sit in one place. He nearly abandoned the spot when he heard the squeaks of critters from the snow next to the house. He yawned, keeping himself still required a lot of energy. Or maybe it was the running around with the ball earlier. It would have been nice to curl up somewhere to sleep a little, a short nap, maybe on Jungkook’s lap —

The door opened.

“Sorry it took a while,” Jungkook said. He left a plate with the meat on it next to his porch. “Here. I hope you like it.”

Jungkook was a good provider, Jimin had to swallow or he might’ve drooled a puddle into the snow because the steak smelled so delicious. But Jungkook had made Jimin wait and nearly fall asleep from boredom so Jimin made Jungkook wait a while too. He knew Jungkook was watching even though he appeared to have gone back inside, because next to the scent from the meat was the scent of vanilla and something else this time, of sweat and snow, of working hard.

Everytime the wind changed Jimin nearly gave in, but then he smelled Jungkook again. Did Jungkook want to see him eating? Maybe he wanted to see if Jimin liked the food he made, the way Jimin would have liked to see Jungkook eat the gift he brought.

In the end Jimin couldn’t detect Jungkook’s scent anymore. Maybe he was there, maybe he wasn’t, but if he was he was too still for Jimin to notice. So he went for it, his stomach was gurgling from hunger anyway. The steak was delicious.

The door to Jungkook’s house was slightly open, but Jimin couldn’t see or smell Jungkook anywhere. He couldn’t even hear Jungkook. The air held tension that Jimin recognised meant a change in the weather. Something was about to happen, something big, and Jimin only wanted to make sure Jungkook was alright.

He was already walking up the porch steps with his paws leaving prints in the snow. And when his nose caught the scent coming from inside, he moved without thinking.

It was warm inside and it smelled like Jungkook. Jimin pushed his nose through the crack in the door, widening it a little. He wasn’t sure what he expected, maybe something that would have told him more about Jungkook as a person, but apart from the few clothes around and shoes by the doorway it looked very — impersonal. Anyone could have lived there.

“I hope you’re not going in, you don’t belong inside.”

Jimin forgot to listen. He quickly turned his head out of the doorway, seeing Jungkook almost at the porch steps with a pile of chopped wood in his arms. At least he would be staying warm without Jimin to warm him up.

Not that they were at that point in their relationship yet. But Jimin would have gladly kept Jungkook’s toes warm, if he let Jimin inside in his fox form.

His thoughts were getting out of hand so Jimin shook his whole body and needed to move. He turned around and leaped off the porch, running towards the trees. But he couldn’t quite leave yet.

“You should find shelter, it might get stormy soon.”

A storm? That’s what it was, the tension.

Jimin made sure he saw Jungkook going in. Humans weren’t fit to be outside in a winter storm.

“I can’t take you inside. You’re a fox.” Jungkook said it quietly, but Jimin’s ears picked it out.

Don’t worry, I’ll be okay. I’ll watch over you.

He tried. He really did. But the small amount of steak couldn’t sustain Jimin for long. He needed to hunt and he needed to move and find some shelter from the storm. He was a bad fox, getting lost in the snowstorm, not finding his way down or up. Losing his sense of direction and of time.

It wasn’t in his plans to fall off a cliff, because he was already too exhausted and hungry and the snow had piled in all the wrong places, letting his paw slip. Stupid snow.

It wasn’t in his plans to wake up in his human form inside Jungkook’s hanok, but once the storm ended and he managed to get his four paws to walk, once the dizziness subsided, the only place he wanted to be was with Jungkook. He acted out of instinct. And the instincts became slightly muted when he was human, usually, but even now it was there.

It became quiet as they kept staring at each other. Jungkook’s brow furrowed more the longer the silence stretched out. Jimin nearly forgot his pain — and the fact that he was in his human form without clothes on — while he waited for what Jungkook might say.

“Huh.”

“I’m… Jimin,” Jimin said, feeling clumsy with his words after living as a fox for the past few days.

“You’re a fox?”

“Well — “ Jimin shrugged, having to wince, because the movement hurt. He had hit his head, probably, maybe broken a rib. “Yes?”

Jungkook seemed to shut down into his thoughts, looking slightly to the síde now. Jimin wished he knew what was going inside the man’s head. Jungkook then hummed, seemingly coming to some kind of conclusion, he blinked a few times as if coming back from somewhere and tilted his head.

“You’re hurt.”

It was Jimin’s turn to blink at him. There was no shouting, no get out of here you freak, no fear. Not even the walls Jungkook seemed to raise when he interacted with Hoseok and all of Jimin’s other friends.

“I am,” he admitted slowly.

Jungkook nodded once and approached.

Jimin couldn’t help but flinch back from the sudden movement, despite the fact that Jungkook had only helped him so far and been kind to him. But that was when Jimin was in his fox form and people were more inclined to like cute foxes than full grown men.

“I’m just trying to help,” Jungkook said.

“I know,” Jimin whispered.

Jungkook seemed to avoid looking at Jimin as he sat next to where Jimin was half lying down, half sitting up. He placed a bottle of lotion, bandaids and a bottle of pills next to himself.

“Are you cold? I probably should offer you something to wear.”

“Maybe,” Jimin answered.

He was having a difficult time finding his bearings in his human body. Trying to find a way to act as a human with Jungkook when he’d become so used to being a fox and not having to speak. Being a human required more complicated thoughts.

“I can’t protect you now,” Jimin said quietly.

“Hm?” Jungkook looked up, his eyes wide and surprised. “Protect me?”

“But now I can cook your meat, I just have to hunt it first.”

Jungkook kept staring, barely blinking. “I — I don’t think you should hunt right now.”

Jimin furrowed his brow, but even that movement hurt slightly. He closed his eyes and placed a hand over his temple.

“Here, take this.”

There was a small rattle of pills and Jimin felt Jungkook take his free hand and put one into his palm.

“I hope human medicine won’t have any — adverse reactions to — to you.”

Jimin glanced at Jungkook before putting the pill into his mouth. “I’m not sure.”

“It’s a painkiller, for the pain.” Jungkook’s face was in the shadow, being backlit by the small lamp next to his bed. He handed out a glass of water and Jimin widened his eyes at the sight of it, taking it quickly and gulping it all down. Eating snow kept thirst at bay, but it often wasn’t enough.

Jimin gave the empty glass back. “Thank you. Now I’d like some clothes, please.”

And there was a hint of a smile on Jungkook’s lips, warming Jimin on the inside. “Okay. Let me see what I can find.”

Jungkook stood up and walked towards one of his cabinets. He rummaged through it for a while until coming back with a pair of sweatpants, t-shirt and a sweater. He gave Jimin’s body a sweeping look.

“These might be too big for you.”

“That’s okay.”

“And socks, I forgot about them.”

Jimin grimaced. “No thank you.”

“But you should, it’s cold. And — and briefs, I forgot about them too.” Jungkook seemed to get more and more lost inside his head as he headed back to the cabinet again, rummaging a little more. “Where does your body hurt the most?” he asked once he got back and placed the clothes into a pile next to Jimin.

“In different places?” Jimin said. He pushed himself up to sit, squeezing his eyes shut at the sharp pain on his left side. “Ribs, I think.”

Jungkook looked at his face for a moment, then down at his side. “Can I touch you? To see if I can feel if it’s broken.”

“Yes,” Jimin breathed.

He followed with his eyes as Jungkook lifted his hands, rubbing them together a few times before placing them on Jimin’s skin gently. Drawing a sudden breath in made the side throb even more, but Jimin couldn’t help it.

“Are my fingers too cold?”

“No.”

It was — a lot.

The way Jimin felt drawn to Jungkook was easier to understand and accept when he was a fox. Something about being human complicated it.

“I don’t think I can detect any severe fractures, maybe it’s just heavily bruised. I’m not a medical professional though, but sometimes you can feel it,” Jungkook said.

“How do you know?”

“Broke one myself one winter.”

Jimin let out an involuntary growl from his throat and they both looked at each other with their eyes wide.

“Did I hurt you?”

Jimin shook his head. “No. But you shouldn’t be breaking ribs if you live alone.”

“I — You’re right.”

“I know I am.”

There was a huff, nearly a chuckle. And Jimin suppressed a satisfied smile from spreading over his own lips.

“I think I saw you in the village a couple times,” Jungkook said as he spread one of his lotions over the bruises on Jimin’s side and on his left arm. A little bit carefully to the one starting to bloom over Jimin’s hip and Jimin had to fight a shiver from overtaking his body.

“I’ve seen you more than that,” Jimin admitted.

Jungkook glanced up at him. “How long were you spying on me?”

“Spying on you?”

“Following me?” Jungkook straightened up his spine, creating a little more distance between them and closed the lid of the lotion bottle with a click. He then handed Jimin the clothes, first the underwear. “I can turn around if you want privacy.”

“It’s fine. And — I might need some help,” Jimin said quietly.

He wasn’t embarrassed, as such, it was more the fact that he was showing himself to Jungkook at his weakest. And it shouldn’t matter, but it did. The water was flowing, most likely, and Jimin needed Jungkook to see him as someone who was strong, someone worthy of keeping around.

And why did he want to be kept around?

Jimin glanced at Jungkook’s face when Jungkook carefully helped him to stand up for a moment. He was discreetly looking the other way while supporting Jimin. Jimin pulled on the briefs Jungkook gave him and the sweatpants before needing to sit back down again, the aches overpowering him.

“Wait, it’s better here.” Jungkook directed Jimin towards his bed and something inside Jimin made a little happy somersault, maybe it was his heart.

Jungkook was sharing his clothes and his bed.

“I wasn’t spying on you, I’m not a spy,” Jimin said when he was already sitting and Jungkook was helping him to pull on the shirts. Lifting his left arm caused the pain to worsen so it eased the process to have Jungkook hold the shirts ready for him.

“I didn’t say you’re a spy. I said you were spying.” Jungkook’s tone of voice stayed calm.

“I think — I think I needed to see if you were okay.” His head emerged from the collar of the sweater to witness a type of shock on Jungkook’s face.

“Why?” It was the first time Jungkook’s face morphed into suspicion.

“You always looked so sad,” Jimin said, his voice careful.

Jungkook sat down on the side of the mattress and turned to face the rest of the house, away from Jimin, his knees up and arms hugging them. “I don’t think you have the right — “ he began, but closed his eyes and shook his head.

“And you smell nice,” Jimin whispered. “Not too strong, just pure and fresh and — vanilla. I like vanilla ice cream.”

Jungkook turned his head towards Jimin, but Jimin decided not to look at his expression, just in case it was something Jimin didn’t want to see.

“How old are you?” Jungkook asked.

“Twenty-eight. I think.”

“You think?”

“I’m not entirely sure. I lost my family when I was a pup.”

“A pup? — I’m sorry to hear that. I’m older than you though.”

“So?” Jimin finally lifted his eyes from his hands to see Jungkook holding back a smile.

“So? Is that how you respect your elders?”

“I can call you hyung if you want.”

Jungkook unwrapped from his cocooned position, leaving his arms hanging over his knees while he shook his head. “I don’t exactly know you, but if you want to, it’s fine.” He then looked at his bed and the available space left in it. “We should sleep. Maybe talk more in the morning.”

“Okay.”

Jungkook crawled onto the available side to Jimin’s right. Jimin found he felt pleased about that, Jungkook placing his body behind Jimin. Jimin wasn’t in a state to get up and defend him, but it made his heart a little more settled to see Jungkook being the one next to the wall, safe.

“Do you need help?”

“Hm?” Jimin looked at Jungkook, raising his eyebrows.

“With lying down.” Jungkook’s eyes did the sweeping motion again, over Jimin’s middle.

Jimin supported himself with his right hand, slowly lowering himself down despite the pain. Jungkook followed the movement carefully, his hands twitching towards Jimin a couple times. Once Jimin’s head hit the pillow he sighed. And the next thing he knew Jungkook was pulling the cover over Jimin, making him blink his gaze towards the man.

“You could have thrown me out,” Jimin said quietly.

“No.” Jungkook shook his head.

He leaned over Jimin to reach the light switch and they were so close, Jungkook’s warmth right there. Jimin closed his eyes for a second and drew in a breath, filling his lungs with Jungkook’s scent. Jungkook paused and glanced down at Jimin’s face, he looked startled, retreating quickly to his side once the light was out.

“You don’t happen to be friends with the cashier from the grocery store, Hoseok-ssi?” Jungkook asked once it came quiet again.

“He’s my best friend,” Jimin said.

“Hm. They’re worried about you.”

Jimin felt a pang of guilt inside his heart. Of course they would be. And the way Jimin had been wandering on the mountain more and more, often forgetting to tell his friends where he was.

“I don’t mean to worry them, it just happens.”

“You should see a doctor. I’ll take you down to the village in the morning.”

“Oh.” Hearing that was more disappointing than Jimin could have guessed it would feel. He could see Jungkook turn his back to Jimin and felt another kind of ache.

Chapter Text

Jimin barely remembered where he was when he finally stirred awake, seeing the light coming in through the window. He hardly even remembered he wasn’t a fox right at that moment. But when he moved he let out a whine from the pain and felt his not so fox-like limbs and his bigger body.

“How are you feeling?”

Turning his head to look up he saw Jungkook with a steaming cup in his hand, standing next to the bed, observing Jimin. It smelled like coffee.

“Like I fell off a cliff.”

Jungkook hummed and turned his gaze away from Jimin’s eyes. “I have breakfast for you. And then I’m going to drive you down.”

Another whine came out of Jimin’s mouth and he slapped his right hand over it. But Jungkook had already heard, if the small movement of his eyebrows was any indication of that.

“I’m going to bring you breakfast. The toilet is outside if you need it.”

“You think I can make it there on my own?” Jimin asked when Jungkook walked across the space to where his kitchen was.

“Do you need to go right now?”

“I can wait.”

“It’s soup and rice,” Jungkook said once he returned to Jimin.

He placed the bowl next to the bed on the floor and helped Jimin into a propped up seated position by placing more pillows behind his back. Jimin couldn’t do much else than keep his eyes on Jungkook’s face, taking it all in. His lips reminded Jimin of cherry blossoms. And without thinking he lifted his right hand and touched Jungkook’s cheek. Jungkook froze in place.

“You have a scar.” Jimin felt the little dent under his fingertips.

But Jungkook drew away, blinking. He took the bowl and gave it carefully to Jimin. “It might be hot.” He looked like the scared bunny again.

“I said something wrong, didn’t I? I do that sometimes, forget that humans have rules they don’t explain and expect everyone to agree to them.”

Jungkook nodded towards the bowl in Jimin’s hands. “Eat.”

Jimin took a spoonful and he immediately felt the sting as he burned his tongue, trying to suck in air to cool it down.

“Hold on, I’ll get you water.” Jungkook was only away for a moment before coming back with a glass of water and instead of giving it to Jimin he brought it to Jimin’s lips and tilted it so that Jimin could drink.

“Thank you,” Jimin said once Jungkook pulled away and placed the glass close by. He was more careful with the next spoonful, blowing on it and putting it into his mouth while staring at Jungkook to show he wasn’t completely useless.

“We should check your bruises after you’ve eaten,” Jungkook said and sat next to the bed.

“You’d do that?” Jimin asked once he had swallowed his mouthful. “This is good by the way.”

Jungkook shrugged. “I would. And that’s just something I prepared from yesterday’s leftovers.”

“Well it’s good. And thank you for not feeding me cat food, I hate that.”

There was a snort so Jimin lifted his eyes back up to Jungkook to see him covering his mouth.

“I mean it,” Jimin said.

“Well, you're welcome — I guess.” Jungkook’s brow furrowed. “You still haven’t explained this whole fox thing.”

Jimin paused while he chewed. The truth was, he had lied. There really wasn’t an explanation for him being a fox. There was an explanation for him watching over Jungkook though.

“I don’t know how to explain it, I was born this way. I’m a fox.”

“It’s — strange. I thought I was dreaming last night. But then I woke up and you — ”

“It’s normal for me. I don’t know what it’s like to be fully human. Colours confuse me, because what is red like?”

“Your hair is.” Jungkook nodded towards Jimin’s head and for a moment their eyes met again. “Why — why did you start visiting me?”

“I told you, you always look sad. And you hate people. Hobi hyung said I was obsessed, but — I’m not a stalker, I swear. I just wanted to be a friend.”

Jungkook turned his gaze away, chewing at his lower lip and looking like he buried himself underneath thoughts.

“You already like me as a fox, it’s not that difficult to like me like this too,” Jimin continued quietly. “They’re both me.”

Now Jungkook bit his lip and huffed, he nearly smiled.

“See, I make you smile. You have a beautiful smile, I like seeing it. Makes me feel things.”

The smile vanished, replaced by something more curious yet cautious. “You hunted for me?”

“You gave me chicken, I wanted to show I can provide too.”

“Provide? You thought I’d eat a vole?”

Jimin narrowed his eyes at Jungkook. “I know it wasn’t cooked.”

“No I mean — ” Jungkook’s expression turned amused. “I don’t eat voles, at all. Sorry.”

Jimin furrowed his brow, the confusion was back, he looked everywhere but at Jungkook, trying to figure out if he had again mixed up things in his head. “You’re selective about your meat too? Like my hyungs?”

“I’d say like humans usually are,” Jungkook said slowly.

“Well shit.” Jimin deflated. “I can’t get this right. I should’ve brought you a rabbit then, but they’re not as easy to catch.” He then realised what he said and looked at Jungkook with wide eyes. “That doesn’t mean I’m not a good hunter though, I am good, I can catch rabbits. Even bigger prey if I prepare right.” He tried puffing out his chest, but the movement hurt.

Jungkook stared at him for a moment until his face brightened up with a smile and he let out a small laugh. Not as bright and happy as the ones Jimin had heard when he played with the ball, but close.

“But I’m serious,” Jimin said, despite wanting to simply sit there and admire Jungkook. “I hope you’re not laughing at my hunting skills.”

“I’m not, I’m just — “ Jungkook waved his hand, sighing. “I guess I could’ve eaten rabbit meat, but you don’t need to hunt for me.”

“Why not?” Jimin frowned. Jungkook didn’t seem to understand the severity of the situation.

“Why not? Oh, you really are serious?”

“Yes, very. It was a gift.”

Suddenly Jimin didn’t feel as hungry anymore and he noticed the pain again. He lifted the bowl and held it out, grimacing as the movement made his side throb even more. Jungkook took it from him and placed it next to the glass of water, his brows knitting together.

“I’m going to bring you a painkiller and then I think we should head towards the village. I’d like to get back before it gets dark.”

“Do you think it’s wise for me to move?” Jimin asked when Jungkook went to the other side, towards a small cabinet with a big red cross over the door.

“I think you need to see a doctor,” Jungkook said over his shoulder.

“I don’t see doctors. I’m fine.”

“If you’re fine, then I can drive you down.”

Jimin huffed. “But I don’t know if I want to.”

Jungkook turned around and looked at Jimin from the other side of the room. “I don’t think you belong here.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I don’t know you. There.” Jungkook threw the pill bottle towards the end of the bed and went to the door. “I’m going to check the car. Finish your breakfast.” And he went out.

Jimin only felt a brief breeze of fresh air over his face as the door opened and closed, leaving him alone inside.

He didn’t get to simmer in his miserable thoughts for long when Jungkook almost immediately marched back in.

“Fuck,” he breathed out as he closed the door and looked at Jimin. His hair was covered in white flakes which were now melting into it.

“It’s snowing?” Jimin asked.

Jungkook turned his gaze away from Jimin and walked towards his low dining table. “Fuck.”

“Is the storm back? So you can’t drive me down today?” Jimin softened his voice a little as he followed Jungkook from underneath his brows.

There was a device on the table, a clunky grey rectangle, and Jungkook picked it up bringing it to Jimin.

“I want you to call your friends and tell them you’re alive, but that it can take a bit of time to get back home.”

Jimin lifted his eyebrows. “I don’t technically have a home.”

Jungkook sighed. “Just call them.”

Jimin took the strange phone and turned it around in his hand a couple times, he even sniffed it. Then he looked back up to Jungkook who was waiting with his hands on his hips.

“I don’t know if I remember any of the numbers.”

Jungkook lifted his hands to rub his face in his palms. “Look. I enjoy my life here alone. I don’t need anyone to — hunt for me or to protect me, I’m fine. So whatever you got into that head of yours — “

Jimin blinked, Jungkook’s words sliced painfully somewhere inside his chest. But he wasn’t a crier, so he wouldn’t cry. Even though it felt like someone put a dam to stop the water from flowing and the spring sunshine turned to rain.

“I need to check if everything’s secure outside.” And Jungkook was gone again.

Maybe Jimin was too hopeful of his abilities to win Jungkook over. Maybe he shouldn’t have injured himself and accidentally shifted into his human form inside Jungkook’s little house. Maybe Jungkook was still in shock and needed more time.

Maybe a couple more hours in Jimin’s company would do the trick.

Jimin decided to eat the rest of his breakfast. He took a pill from the bottle Jungkook had thrown on the bed and swallowed it with the rest of the water. He then tried to remember Hoseok’s number, but the digits were jumping around inside his head without finding the right sequence so he gave up on that. For now.

Jungkook wasn’t coming inside, so Jimin got curious (and he possibly needed to visit the outhouse) so he slowly got himself up to standing and limped towards the door. He noticed a pair of boots next to it and slipped his feet into them. Jungkook’s feet were bigger than his, he quite liked the feeling of the shoes not restricting his toes.

When he opened the door he got a flurry of snow on his face first thing. The air was thick with snowflakes and the wind whistled in Jimin’s ears. He realised he was without his fur to protect from the cold, but that also meant Jungkook was potentially as cold as him and Jimin didn’t like that thought at all. Walking wasn’t easy when there was a dull pain over his hip every time he took a step with his left foot, but he managed to get across the porch and down the steps.

It had already snowed enough to reach Jimin’s ankles.

“What are you doing? You should be inside!”

Jimin looked up at the shout to see Jungkook by his car. He seemed to be placing some type of cover over the car window. It would be snowed over anyway.

“I just need to — “ Usually as a fox Jimin didn’t have to think about where the toilet was. “The outhouse?”

Jungkook looked like he sighed yet again, shaking his head. He did that a lot, Jimin realised. Without Jimin expecting it, Jungkook walked up to him.

“I’ll help you, the path isn’t that even and your leg — ” Jungkook said quietly. “Just hold my shoulder and lean towards me as much as you need.” He placed a hand at Jimin’s back before Jimin recovered from his astonishment.

But finally Jimin obliged and placed his right hand on Jungkook’s left shoulder for support. And he felt pleased about the close proximity.

With the new snowstorm, there wasn’t much to do. Jimin wasn’t used to having to lie down for so long in one go, but after his little walk outside Jungkook had escorted him back to bed and tucked him in. And maybe Jimin had to admit his body needed the rest.

Right now Jungkook was reading a book by the table, leaning his back against the wall, his legs bent to support his arms, the book open over his knees. Jimin wondered what the book was about.

Jimin’s school years had been slightly unbalanced and irregular. He got through them, but his lack of family always caused questions. So to remedy whatever he missed he had studied a lot on his own, borrowing books from his friends, trying to understand what humans were like, what the world was like. But as much as he might’ve learned about human nature and emotions through fiction, he had found it difficult, never really getting past the first few pages.

“What are you reading?” Jimin asked.

Jungkook lifted his head and glanced at Jimin. He flashed the cover of the book, it was about traditional building methods.

“Is that what you do here all day long alone? Read about buildings?”

“No,” Jungkook replied and continued reading, turning a page.

Jimin wished he could’ve turned comfortably onto his left side, to be able to keep a better eye on Jungkook, but he was too sore to do that.

“Do you think you already like me?” Jimin asked next.

“What?” Jungkook looked at him again.

“Do you like me now?”

Jungkook stared for a little while until he shook his head and returned to the book. Jimin wasn’t sure if he should take it as a no or as a ridiculous fox.

Jimin sighed, but it hurt his ribs. “I’m bored. Can’t you keep me company?”

“Sleep.”

“I can’t sleep, I’m in too much pain to sleep.”

There was shuffling and footsteps and soon Jungkook was looking down at Jimin with his brow slightly furrowed.

“You’re in more pain?”

“I don’t know, not really.”

Jungkook huffed and turned to go back to the table, but Jimin was faster.

“Wait! Please keep me company. Please, hyung.” Jimin threw in a little bit of pout on his lips and the eyes his Hobi hyung called puppy eyes when Jungkook stopped and turned to look. “I can talk about things. I can tell you about the village. Or about me. Though I’m not that special, I don’t have big human achievements. I just roam around the forests and help my friends when they need it. Oh, I can tell you more about my friends.”

Jungkook took a step back towards the bed.

“Or if you want you can tell me about yourself.” Jimin gave a hopeful look to Jungkook.

“I don’t want to talk about myself,” Jungkook said quietly.

The wind gave a mighty gust right then and Jimin flinched at the rattle on the roof, looking up to the ceiling.

“You had a lot of things up there, do you think they’ll still be up there after this?” he asked.

“They’re secure. But if this lasts long it might compromise the electricity storage.”

“It won’t be much different from sleeping in a cave then.”

“What?”

Jimin turned his eyes to Jungkook.

“It’s a fox thing?” Jungkook asked.

“Yes?”

Jungkook furrowed his brow and twisted his mouth. “I think — I think I need to get started with dinner.” And he walked to the kitchen, leaving Jimin slumping against his pillows.

“I don’t think I’ve ever had food served in bed and this is already the third time in twenty-four hours,” Jimin said looking down at his plate. It was kimchi fried rice with chicken and it smelled delicious. It tasted delicious too.

“Three times?” Jungkook asked, having sat down on a pillow next to the table instead of staying with Jimin by the bed like Jimin first suggested.

“The meat you gave me after you brought me inside, I count it as food served in bed.”

“Well I’m glad you’re making the most of this.”

“Perhaps I am.”

Though it was difficult to make the most of the situation when Jungkook didn’t seem to be on the same page with Jimin.

Later, Jungkook quietly helped Jimin with night time routines. He borrowed Jimin a toothbrush and helped him with supporting his walking around the house and outside.

“Do you really enjoy living here alone?” Jimin asked when Jungkook was about to come to bed.

Jungkook stopped for a moment, arms at his sides and a distant look in his eyes, until he seemed to snap out of it and finally crawled to his side on the mattress.

“Isn’t it much better with company?” Jimin continued.

Jungkook rolled to his side, hovering over Jimin, but not touching, as he reached out for the light switch. “With a talking fox?”

For a moment Jimin felt the warmth of Jungkook’s body in the space between them. “I’m more than that.”

Jungkook looked down at him with an unreadable expression. The light turned off and Jungkook rolled back to his spot.

“Sorry. I don’t know if I still quite understand,” Jungkook said.

“That I’m a fox?”

“Yes. Don’t get me wrong, I — I feel I grew attached to the fox, but the fox is you.” Jungkook’s words came out slow.

Jimin tried to not let Jungkook’s words bring him down. “I’m still the fox too. It’s me, the one and the same.”

“But it isn’t.”

“Well I look different.”

“Is it magic?”

Was it magic? Everyone thought it was. Some people who saw him had tried to make wishes thinking Jimin could grant them. Perhaps someone like Jimin shouldn’t have existed. He knew he didn’t fit the idea of what was considered normal or even possible. But he still existed, that had to mean something.

“I don’t know,” Jimin replied.

“So no magic tricks.”

“If you’re asking if my fingertips sparkle then the answer is no.”

There was a quiet chuckle.

“And no I can’t help you win the lottery,” Jimin continued.

“Too bad, I would’ve asked.”

Jimin turned his head towards Jungkook. “Do you mean that or was that a joke?”

“A joke.”

“I might be able to expel loneliness in the ones I see as friends though,” Jimin said and saw Jungkook’s smile fade, probably thinking the dark protected him. “That’s one type of magic maybe. Even if not the sparkly kind.”

Jungkook was silent, but Jimin knew he hadn’t gone to sleep yet, because his eyes were still open.

“Did you know I have clear night vision?” Jimin asked.

“I didn’t.”

“I can see you’re still awake.”

“I wasn’t trying to sleep yet.”

“But you went quiet.” Jimin waited for a moment. “You’re doing it again.”

“I think we should try to sleep.” Jungkook closed his eyes for a short while, but opened them again. “Are you comfortable?”

“Hm?”

“Are you comfortable? Are you in pain?”

It seemed that Jungkook wasn’t too indifferent to Jimin in his human form after all. Those little questions made Jimin’s insides warm. “I’m as comfortable as I can be.”

“Okay, good.”

“Though it’s quite cold,” Jimin said with a smile.

“Cold?”

“It’s colder to sleep as a human. Maybe I could — “ Jimin wiggled his body under the covers a little closer to Jungkook. When he felt his right side touch Jungkook’s left, he stopped.

“What are you doing?”

“Preserving body warmth, humans are so fragile, you know. This way we’re both comfortable.”

“Are you sure I’m comfortable?” Jungkook asked.

“I’d turn to my fox form and warm your feet if I was well enough to do that.”

“That’s — nice of you?”

“If you’re not comfortable I can try to survive the night on my own,” Jimin said and began pulling away. “But if you freeze, I suggest don’t complain about that in the morning, you had a chance.”

“Stay.” The word was huffed out nearly as a whisper and Jimin glanced up to see Jungkook’s face morph into that of the confused bunny again. “You can stay there.”

“Okay, Bunny, I will.”

“Huh?”

“Just sleep now, hyung.”

Jimin moved back so that his body touched Jungkook’s. And it almost felt like Jungkook moved a little too, so that their sides were more tightly connected.

Jungkook woke up underneath a weight that wasn’t there when he fell asleep. An arm across his chest, a leg thrown over his hips, a head of red hair under his chin. And his very first thought, before any analysing kicked in or before he began to panic for any different reason, was that it felt — nice.

The second thought was that he needed to somehow get himself from underneath Jimin without stirring the fox-man.

Fox-man, so confusing, so unexpected.

Jungkook really wanted to see how bad the storm had been, how much snow he had to shovel. But everything felt very different and strange now. He almost didn’t care if there was more snow or whether he could drive down to the village today. He would probably have to get a hold of Jimin’s friends though, to tell them Jimin was okay and safe now.

It was honestly not easy to get his head around the fact that Jimin — no the fox turned into Jimin, that the fox was Jimin and Jimin was the fox. And it wasn’t easy to accept that he didn’t hate having Jimin around even if it had been only a day.

But it wasn’t something he should get used to. Good things rarely lasted as good for him.

Jungkook removed his right arm carefully from underneath the covers, it was the only hand he could use, and gently picked up Jimin’s wrist, moving it off him. Jimin’s hand was small enough for Jungkook to want to scrunch his nose from the cuteness, but he didn’t. Maybe 10 years ago he would have, but not now. Jimin’s head was a bit trickier, because Jungkook wanted to avoid waking him up, but he cupped the back of Jimin’s head with his palm and smoothly slid from underneath, making sure Jimin had a pillow to lay his head to. And next the leg.

Once Jungkook sat up and got himself untangled he gave himself permission to turn to glance at Jimin for a moment. The man wasn’t difficult to look at, Jungkook had noticed. The strikingly red hair messy on top of his head, his slightly freckled cheeks even in the winter, his cute nose, his plump lips in a sleepy pout — Jungkook frowned at his own thoughts. No matter how beautiful Jimin might’ve looked in the morning light, Jungkook shouldn’t —

He quietly got up from the bed and quickly dressed himself, throwing a warm hoodie over his t-shirt. Jimin hadn’t woken up to Jungkook making breakfast yesterday morning so he wasn’t expecting Jimin to wake up now either. The silence gave Jungkook’s thoughts too much room though.

Why was Jimin drawn to him?

That was the question Jungkook had asked inside his head several times since he woke up and saw for the first time the fox was actually a human.

Did Jimin have a saviour complex? With the want to provide and protect. Or maybe it was an animal thing. Did Jimin count as an animal? Humans were animals too in a way, right? Was it pity? Did Jungkook really look so sad? Maybe.

Jungkook took some of the soup stock he’d made earlier and started heating it up, cutting up onions and preparing to cook ramyeon and maybe some eggs too. A simple breakfast before going outside.

The pot was simmering and Jungkook’s focus was solely on his task now, almost forgetting anything was different.

”Why don’t you wake me up when you do?”

Jungkook flinched and looked to his right, coming face to face with a still sleepy looking Jimin. Jimin had somehow managed to sneak right behind him silently, even with a limp.

”I have a knife,” Jungkook warned once he recovered from the small shock of being startled.

“I know, you were cutting with it so loudly,” Jimin complained and Jungkook could feel him come closer and soon enough he felt Jimin’s chin on his shoulder and Jimin’s right hand gently coming to the side of Jungkook’s waist.

Jungkook blinked, frozen in place. It had been so long since he’d felt someone else’s warmth against his skin and it was very close that it didn’t completely dismantle the safeguards he had built over the years. Very close.

But Jungkook didn’t want to shake Jimin off. Maybe he was stupid for it. He knew Jimin only as the fox. He knew nothing of Jimin the human.

“What are you making? It smells good,” Jimin said, sighing and putting more of his weight over Jungkook’s back.

Jungkook took a deep breath as well, trying to steady his heart. “Just some ramyeon and eggs, nothing special.”

“Can I help? I’m pretty good at following instructions — when I feel like it.”

“There’s nothing much to do, other than serve it soon,” Jungkook said and resisted the urge to turn his head and look at Jimin, they were too close for him to do that.

“Okay, then I’ll just watch.” Jimin snaked his whole right arm around Jungkook’s waist, resting his palm against Jungkook’s belly, his body flush against Jungkook’s back now. Jungkook could barely breathe.

But he didn’t want it to end either.

Once the breakfast was ready, after Jungkook pulled himself together and continued working as if Jimin wasn’t attached to him, Jimin decided to sit at the table with Jungkook instead of going back to bed. Jungkook decided not to question it, especially when Jimin sat next to him and came close enough for their sides to touch.

He should’ve been trying to establish a distance. It should’ve felt uncomfortable, it should’ve made his skin crawl to be so close to someone else. Just as it did with anyone else he‘d tried before moving up here.

“You’re in your head a lot, huh.”

“What?” Jungkook felt like he came up to the surface after having spaced out.

“You’re quiet a lot. I’m too by the way.” Jimin’s eyes were wide and earnest as he explained. “Especially when I’m in my fox form. And even in this body I tend to be quiet. That’s how people don’t usually notice me until I pounce.”

“Pounce?”

“Maybe that’s not the right choice of words. But I’m quiet too. And I think about a lot of things. Like where the voles hide or where the rabbits are. Or what love feels like. Or how I can help my hyungs. I work at the store, did you know that?”

Jungkook stared at Jimin. Him claiming he was quiet was almost amusing. “I didn’t.”

“I help out when I can. Same with Tae’s father’s garage and the cafe. I don’t really have a permanent job. Or a permanent home.” Jimin took a mouthful of noodles and made a face that Jungkook interpreted as satisfaction, closing his eyes and furrowing his brow. “I know we talked about this yesterday — “ Jimin continued after he chewed and swallowed the mouthful. “I didn’t spy on you. I noticed you and wanted to get to know you. My methods are flawed though, it took four years.” He turned to look at Jungkook. “You’re not eating.”

Jungkook glanced at his bowl, sitting untouched on the table. “Right.”

“Now I feel like friend isn’t the right word anymore. It should be something more.” Jimin said it almost like a thought that wasn’t supposed to be spoken out loud. “I don’t know much about being a fox, or a human, or being what I am. I didn’t have anyone to learn from, but myself and that can be lonely sometimes. But I do know there’s something that makes it impossible for me to stay away.”

“From where?”

“From you.”

Jungkook finally took a mouthful of noodles with his chopsticks, trying to give himself time to process what Jimin just said. “I’ve known you for two days.”

“You’ve known me this whole autumn and winter.”

“Two days.”

“How is me being a fox any different? And I’ve known you for four years.”

“Two days,” Jungkook repeated. He wasn’t sure what he should have felt about Jimin observing him for the whole four years he’d been living on the mountain.

“Fine,” Jimin huffed. “If that makes you happy, then two days. But it’s actually been months so — “ He filled his mouth with noodles, ending the grumbling.

Jimin was fascinating, Jungkook couldn’t deny that. He looked like a human and talked like a human, but his thoughts weren’t entirely what Jungkook might’ve called normal human thoughts. Though what was normal anyway.

And there was something beneath the surface that Jungkook was too afraid to look at yet.

“If the road isn’t too blocked, I’m going to drive you down today,” he said and ate more of his ramyeon.

“Why?” Jimin breathed. At the same time he leaned closer and pressed his cold nose into Jungkook’s neck.

Jungkook felt goosebumps all over his skin.

“Can’t I just stay,” Jimin whispered.

“No,” Jungkook said and heard his own voice quiver slightly.

Jimin’s breath against Jungkook’s skin was warm as he was clearly sniffing out something. And it tickled.

“What are you doing?” Jungkook asked, now whispering too.

“I told you, I like how you smell.”

This should have been absurd and not feel so — Jungkook didn’t want to say right, but he wanted to close his eyes and let Jimin stay pressed to his neck.

He was about to come to the decision to pull back from it (or more like fighting the urge to simply be there) when Jimin pulled away from him instead, breathing a long breath in, his eyes half lidded and sleepy.

“I hope the road is blocked.”

The road wasn’t blocked enough. It turned out it had snowed fairly little, most likely the snow storm changing into winds that blew the snowy clouds away during the night. Jungkook still needed to shovel the yard. And the whole time he was wondering why he found himself disappointed that his car would be able to make the journey down to the village.

Predictably, Jimin wasn’t happy about it. He stood on the porch with his arms crossed, brow furrowed and a pout on his lips. Jungkook would have smiled at the sight if he didn’t feel the same on the inside.

He helped Jimin to the passenger seat, supporting his unsteady step and noticing Jimin was wearing the same pair of Jungkook’s boots as yesterday. And he was bundled in Jungkook’s clothes. Maybe he wouldn’t get them back, but maybe Jungkook didn’t mind.

The road had its own hazards that made Jimin tense up beside Jungkook from time to time or wince from pain if his body jolted in a bend too much. Jungkook tried to drive as evenly as possible and that made the silent journey down even longer than usual. Jimin didn’t talk now, hadn’t said anything after Jungkook announced their departure.

“Where do I drop you off, the store?” Jungkook asked once the first village buildings were in view.

“That sounds very heartless,” Jimin said, looking out of the window.

Maybe Jimin was right, Jungkook could have chosen his words differently. He bit his lip, trying to keep the lid on over the things that needed to stay down. He hadn’t always been so inconsiderate, too gentle and kind for his own good. He didn’t want Jimin to think bad of him, so he opened his mouth to apologise —

“I think you should bring me to Hobi hyung’s place.” Jimin was faster.

Venturing deeper into the village didn’t feel tempting, but Jungkook was willing to oblige. Maybe too willing. “You’ll need to tell me where that is.”

After another five or ten minutes of driving, Jungkook slowly pulled up in front of a two storey house made of red tiles. The small property was surrounded by a fence.

“He lives here?”

Jimin nodded and already took off his seatbelt. It looked slightly difficult for him to push the door open though so Jungkook got into action, taking his own seatbelt off and jumping out of the truck. He circled to the passenger side and helped pulling it open.

“I can open car doors you know,” Jimin said as he took the hand Jungkook offered for support. “Just that my ribs still hurt quite a bit.”

“I know.”

Jungkook felt the warmth of Jimin’s hand in his as Jimin came down the last step, pinching his face from the pain.

And Jungkook had to flex his fingers when the warmth lingered against his palm after Jimin’s hand disappeared.

Jungkook opened his mouth to say something, anything, when the gate behind them creaked open.

“Minie! For fuck’s sake, I’ve been so worried!” The shout was followed by Hoseok running to Jimin and taking him into a hug.

“Ow, ow, ow, hyung, not so hard,” Jimin whimpered.

Hoseok pulled back, holding Jimin at arms length, inspecting him. “You’re hurt.” He then turned his sharp eyes to Jungkook and Jungkook flinched back a little from the intensity of it. “You — “

“Not his fault!” Jimin said. “He saved me.”

Hoseok glanced at Jimin, then at Jungkook again. “Really?”

“Yes,” Jungkook said quietly, feeling like retreating back into his shell again. “I think, I think I should go now.”

“What? No!” Jimin was quick to grab Jungkook’s arm. “He can stay for lunch, right?” He directed the question to Hoseok.

Hoseok blinked at the spot where Jimin was holding onto Jungkook, then at both of their faces while Jungkook wished to disappear. And he shrugged.

“Why not. Sure.” Hoseok’s voice sounded bright, but surprised at the turn of events. “Just follow me.”

And Jungkook didn’t have much to protest.

Jungkook felt out of place at Hoseok’s house. He didn’t dare to look around much other than to notice how warm and colourful it was. It was clearly modernised at some point, some of the room walls taken down and floors changed. The furniture looked fairly new. The pastel mint coloured dining table was an interesting choice, but so were all the other colours.

“Where’s Jin hyung?” Jimin asked as he sat next to Jungkook at the table, leaving no space between them.

Jungkook sensed Hoseok pause again as he was setting the table, but then he placed the bowls down with the chopsticks and spoons.

“He’s still sleeping, it’s Yoongi’s day at the cafe.”

So there was another person Jungkook hadn’t met yet, he couldn’t help the way his heartbeat picked up and his muscles began tensing. But then Jimin pressed his nose to Jungkook’s neck again and Jungkook took a quick intake of breath at the sudden cold feeling.

“I can hear your heartbeat,” Jimin whispered quietly, his lips grazing Jungkook’s skin, probably unknowingly, but it made Jungkook shiver. “Jin hyung is nice.”

Hoseok cleared his throat on the other side of the table, his eyebrows at his hairline, and Jimin pulled back as quickly as he’d pressed closer.

“What?” Jimin asked, looking a little annoyed, when Hoseok didn’t stop staring.

“You’ve been gone almost a week and you come back in his truck, hurt and smelling his neck. He knows, doesn’t he?” Hoseok said, his eyes narrowed at Jimin.

“Yes,” Jimin replied, but his expression was almost smug. “And once I’m well enough, I’ll protect him.”

Jungkook nearly choked on his own spit, coughing a little.

“You should learn to protect yourself first, Min,” Hoseok said and placed the pot he had been holding in his hands down on the table. “Dig in, it’s last night’s leftovers.”

It was quiet as they ate. Jimin pressed his side to Jungkook’s, maybe unconsciously, maybe as a reassurance of some sort. And Jungkook had to admit it made him feel more calm. And it meant he wasn’t so wound up when the mentioned Jin hyung walked down the steps from the second floor, in black sweatpants and a white t-shirt that probably had seen better days and hair standing upright at the back of his head.

He stopped by the table to stare at Jungkook and Jimin, looking like he barely got his eyes open.

“Sit down to eat,” Hoseok said without looking up or acting like anything was different, just patting Jin’s butt and returning to his own food.

“Jimin’s home,” Jin said as he sat next to Hoseok. “Who’s this?” He nodded towards Jungkook.

“Jungkook hyung,” Jimin replied quickly before anyone else could. “Bunny, this is Seokjin hyung.”

“Bunny?” Hoseok whispered, his eyes widening.

“Ah, so you’re Jungkook. Jimin hasn’t stopped talking about you for four years, I’m glad you’re together now,” Seokjin said and Jungkook nearly choked a second time, but now to his soup.

“What?” Jungkook asked. “We’re not — “

“It’s a work in progress,” Jimin said.

Seokjin looked at both of them, then huffed a laugh with a smile while shaking his head. “Give it a few weeks.”

Jungkook glanced at Jimin who was slurping his soup with a content look on his face. And next he felt a nudge against his side as Jimin elbowed him gently.

“Eat,” Jimin commanded.

“There’s been a few bad storms and you still managed to get down from the mountain,” Seokjin said after they’d emptied their bowls. He looked far more awake now than earlier. Though the hair was still sticking up at the back of his head.

“It didn’t snow enough,” Jimin huffed and crossed his arms against his chest.

“Trust me, you don’t want to get snowed in with me,” Jungkook said.

“Do you get snowed in often?” Seokjin asked, his brows contemplative.

“Every year at some point,” Jungkook answered with a short glance at Seokjin.

“Wait, so if you get snowed in, you’d be up there even weeks before you can get back down again?” Hoseok now asked with his eyebrows up.

“Yes?” Jungkook said.

“No, that can’t be right. What if you run out of food — or wait, that’s why?” Hoseok’s eyes widened.

“I nearly ran out of it the first year, but I’ve learned.” Jungkook shrugged, not looking at either of the men this time. It had taken a lot of trial and error, coming mostly from a background of living in the city before moving up here, but he’d learned to take care of himself and he was proud of it.

“Nah, I still don’t like the idea of you alone up there without food,” Hoseok said.

“Exactly!” Jimin said. “That’s what I’ve been trying to say, but no one listens to me. It’s good that I can take care of him now.”

“I still don’t eat voles,” Jungkook said quietly.

“No, but rabbits — “

“You did what now? Minie,” Hoseok sighed and Seokjin seemed to bite his lip to prevent himself from smiling or more. “We’ve been through this, you don’t need to hunt for any of your hyungs.”

Jimin’s lower lip jutted out. “It doesn’t mean I don’t want to.”

“No, of course not,” Seokjin said, still holding back his smile as he got up and started to clear the table. “It’s always appreciated. Though Mrs. Lee didn’t really like it that one time when you stole one of her chickens.”

Jungkook lifted his eyebrows as he turned to look at Jimin.

“I was sixteen, that was a mistake,” Jimin mumbled, his cheeks beginning to match the red of his hair.

And Jungkook felt something spill over inside his chest, something warm.

Hoseok laughed. “That was a close call. I mean we appreciated the gift and cooked a really good dinner from it, but when my mom asked where the chicken came from I couldn’t exactly tell her. And the village had a meeting about the possible dangers of foxes and what to do with them.”

“Lucky for Jimin they decided to help Mrs Lee to secure her chickens better, building a whole fox proof cage for them, instead of going after the culprit,” Seokjin said, coming back to stack the empty bowls.

“So you’re a stalker and a thief?” Jungkook said quietly, it was his turn to try not to smile.

Hoseok and Seokjin snorted.

“I’m not! Oh, is this a joke too? You’re smiling.”

“Maybe,” Jungkook said.

And maybe Jungkook noticed he felt rather comfortable, being surrounded by these three men, Jimin, Hoseok, Seokjin. He felt his body relax, he didn’t have the urge to run. And Hoseok and Seokjin were kind enough to not ask too many questions even though Jungkook saw on their faces they were curious.

It was something he thought about on his drive back to the mountain while trying to discard the feeling of sudden emptiness of being alone again.

Jimin had been ready to come with him again, but that wasn’t the right thing to do. Jimin needed to heal surrounded by his friends and what was familiar to him. It was safer for him in the village where he could get to a doctor if needed. Hoseok and Seokjin seemed to agree. And Jungkook needed to return to his home, because that was his safe space. He didn’t realise he would feel the separation so strongly.

And it started slowly snowing when Jungkook parked his car in the familiar spot next to his shed. By the evening it turned into another storm.

Chapter Text

Jungkook was snowed in.

After arriving and doing his usual chores around the house, trying to ignore the way the quiet was more pressing now, heavier, he’d gone to sleep early, not wanting to be awake anymore. And the next morning he woke up having been snowed in. The new snow came up to his calves, which meant the road was double that and his truck wouldn’t be able to make the journey down this time.

Swallowing the feelings he found bubbling up, Jungkook got to work, not even bothering with breakfast, just feeling like he needed to clear his yard before anything else.

The truth was, there was a Jimin sized hole somewhere here. Maybe inside Jungkook’s chest. And no matter how much Jungkook ignored it and masked the slight and sudden pain with the tiring strain of his muscles while he shovelled the snow, while sweat poured down his forehead and back of his neck, the empty feeling didn’t disappear. It was right there, next to the pain of the past, amplifying it.

And it became so bad, Jungkook had to crouch down hugging his knees and hiding his face, letting his shovel fall next to him. He didn’t want to face it again.

After being discharged from the military at twenty, Jungkook had moved to Seoul without any direction in life, only wanting the adventure. He found a job as a barista, he became good at it, back then he even liked coffee. And that’s where he found Jungkook.

Jungkook grabbed his hair in his fists, not wanting to remember the face of a man who completely destroyed him and the life he was building back then. But surprisingly the image didn’t appear inside his mind, it was there somewhere, but when it was about to surface it was replaced with someone else. A kinder face, a kinder smile.

Jimin.

The reality was that Jungkook wouldn’t be able to drive down to the village. Not that he needed to, he had reserves to survive the weeks it would last before warmer weather would melt the snow a little and the road would be easier to drive again.

But for the first time he wanted to.

He was curious.

Was two days long enough to miss someone?

Maybe Jimin was right and it had been months. And now that Jungkook knew Jimin wasn’t fit to come up here in his fox form —

Jungkook breathed deep.

This was ridiculous. He’d been fine before all this. As fine as he could be.

He pushed it all down again, stood up, picked up his shovel and continued.

Jungkook wasn’t really counting the days, but it had already been close to two weeks.

It didn’t take long for his days to return to their usual monotony. He did his usual routines, waking up, breakfast, some chores, lunch, some more chores, dinner, probably going to bed early. All the while pushing down the feeling of something missing. Something that he almost got to taste, to have, but it escaped through his fingers as usual. He wouldn’t have blamed Jimin for forgetting him.

And it snowed more.

Which was why Jungkook was outside when he heard a loud approaching rumble. He would’ve thought it was a distant avalanche if the sound wasn’t coming up instead of going down.

He had already cleared his yard and was brushing the snow from his car, trying to keep it drivable when the time came, but stopped, letting his arm drop by his side, and waited.

He first saw the big cloud of snow and for a heartbeat he felt like he needed to run and hide. But then he realised what it was, someone was ploughing the road.

The truck was small enough to fit onto the mountain road, but big enough to plough the almost metre of snow from it. And when it was in the last bend it slowed down, pushing the final stretch open, steering the snow to the side where Jungkook had formed one of his snow piles and came to a stop.

It was difficult to see who was inside the truck, but the passenger door opened and slammed shut first.

“Jungkook!”

Jungkook wasn’t prepared when Jimin ran to him with a flash of red hair and jumped into his arms, arms around Jungkook’s neck and legs around his waist. Jungkook’s back slammed against his car from the force of it and he nearly lost his balance.

“What — What — “ Jungkook couldn’t form a thought. “Can you hop off, I can’t breathe.”

“Yes you can.” Jimin pressed his nose to Jungkook’s neck for a moment, but jumped down the next. “Or you don’t want to see me anymore?” Jimin’s eyes were wide and his eyebrows formed an upside down V.

“That’s not — you’re feeling better?”

Jimin must have healed enough to be able to run — and jump. Jungkook didn’t want to admit he liked what just happened.

“I heal quickly,” Jimin said with a little shrug. “You left and didn’t come back. I got worried. First I thought you didn’t want to see me anymore,” Jimin slapped Jungkook’s chest in a scolding manner as if it had been true, “but then we came to look and saw the road.”

At the same time the driver’s door of the plough truck opened and Jungkook recognised Taehyung stepping out. His movements were more hesitant than Jimin’s, waving a hand at Jungkook.

“I told hyung he needed to get the road clear,” Jimin said. “So that you can come down again.”

“It wasn’t necessary,” Jungkook said, knowing full well it was a lie. “But thank you.”

“See, I can protect you,” Jimin said with a serious face, staring right into Jungkook’s eyes and making his breath stutter. “You just have to let me.”

“I hope we’re not intruding,” Taehyung said as he approached them. “I haven’t been here in a long time, hasn’t changed much. My grandfather lived here for a bit when I was a kid,” Taehyung added as an explanation.

“I — I didn’t know that.”

“You’re thirty, right?” Taehyung asked. “That makes us the same age. Jimin told me.”

Jungkook swallowed, so out of his depths as to what he needed to do when he had never had people visiting. Other than Jimin, but that was different.

“We should offer Taehyungie hyung something to eat before he leaves,” Jimin said and began marching towards the house.

“We?” Jungkook asked.

Jungkook noticed Jimin was still wearing Jungkook’s sweater and boots, but his pants were different and he had a puffer coat over all of it. He still had a small limp too, despite what he said about healing quickly.

Jimin went into the house, threw his shoes off and went straight into the kitchen like he owned the place. “I should’ve brought you fresh food. What is this?” he grumbled as he picked up an empty spam tin from the counter and threw it on the floor, the tin clattering into the corner.

Jungkook wasn’t sure if he was supposed to frown or laugh at the way Jimin went around in the kitchen nook and found something more to scold Jungkook over.

“This won’t do,” Jimin muttered and began taking out ingredients.

“I’ve never seen him like this before,” Taehyung said quietly from behind Jungkook, having reached up to them.

Jungkook stepped aside to let the man in. “What do you mean?”

“He cares about his friends, but he cares a lot more about you,” Taehyung answered. “You should’ve seen how upset he was after you came back here. And he hasn’t been able to shift either to come here on his own, not before he’s fully healed.”

Jimin held up a knife, looking at it like it offended him and then continued to chop an onion rather clumsily.

“He doesn’t know much about cooking though, so if you want your kitchen and house to not burn down, I suggest going to help him,” Taehyung added.

Jimin barely let Jungkook help, saying he needed to show he could provide — the human way. So Jungkook stood by and watched, at times with his heart in his throat as Jimin used the stove or the knife or when he put a lot of gochujang into the ramyeon stock. But seeing the smile on Jimin’s face as he carried the pot to the table was worth it. Jungkook helped with bringing a bowl and utensils for everyone.

The ramyeon was salty and quite spicy, Jungkook could feel the sting on his tongue and the sweat on his brow after a couple bites, but he decided to hum and say, “It’s delicious, thank you.”

“See, I can provide for you,” Jimin said. “Though I’ll bring you a rabbit one day, just wait.” But after a few bites he pushed the bowl of noodles towards Jungkook. “I can’t eat it, it’s too spicy.”

Taehyung laughed from the other side of the table, not having touched his food much at all. “Min, you know you can’t cook.”

And Jimin looked like he was going to launch himself over the table and fight, but instead grabbed a hold of Jungkook’s shirt.

Taehyung decided to leave shortly after they’d eaten — or pretended to eat. And as Jimin took the duty of cleaning the table, Taehyung pulled Jungkook aside.

“What are your intentions with Jimin?”

“Huh?”

”He’s not naive, you know. I know what he might seem like sometimes, but he’s clever. If you want to keep him around, I hope you won’t end up hurting him, his life hasn’t been easy, at least from the human perspective, and he hasn’t been in love before.”

Jungkook wasn’t sure what to say as Taehyung’s words echoed around his head. One thing he did know though.

”I’m not going to hurt him.”

Taehyung looked at him for a moment in silence. The bowls clattered behind them. Then he nodded.

”Okay, I believe you.”

Jungkook furrowed his brow. “Just like that?”

“Jimin doesn’t trust easily.”

And just like that Jungkook thought he understood.

He hasn’t been in love before.

The words were on repeat in Jungkook’s brain as he stood outside and waved Taehyung goodbye.

Wait.

The snow crunched underneath footsteps and Jungkook felt the chin on his shoulder, an arm around his waist. It felt surprisingly natural.

“Shouldn’t you have gone with him?” Jungkook asked.

“And leave you here alone when you can’t take care of yourself, nope, not a chance.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“Sure.”

“I can.”

“Mmhm. I’m not convinced, that’s why I need to stay.” Jimin moved away from Jungkook’s back, a little to the side. “And I’ve bunked in Hoseok’s spare bedroom long enough, I need to give him a break.” He turned to walk back into the house before Jungkook could say more.

Jimin slipped right in like he hadn’t been away for two weeks. And Jungkook realised how much he had observed during the two days he’d been in Jungkook’s care. It should’ve bothered him that Jimin used his wardrobe like it was his own, but it didn’t. Not even a little bit of annoyance. Jungkook still had the spare toothbrush he’d given Jimin two weeks ago and Jimin knew where to find it.

“You said you’re healed, but I can see you’re still hurting,” Jungkook said once he came to bed, laying next to Jimin and taking the side closer to the wall.

Jimin opened his eyes, having closed them a moment earlier. “I’m mostly healed. But did you know it can take two weeks for bruises to fade. They’ve been kind of pretty, but none of my hyungs let me borrow their phones so that I could’ve taken a photo of them.”

“What about your own phone?”

“I think I lost it.” Jimin took a deep breath. “What would I do with one anyway?”

“Tell your hyungs you’re alive,” Jungkook suggested.

“Good point.” Jimin turned to his side, facing Jungkook, placing his hands under the pillow. “Did you miss me?”

Jungkook placed his head onto his own pillow and gave himself the permission to look at Jimin for a moment. “I — I did.”

Jimin clearly didn’t expect the answer with how his eyes widened. He quickly turned onto his back and placed a hand over his chest. Were his cheeks turning more rosy too? He then reached where the light switch was to plunge them into darkness.

“Goodnight.”

Jungkook found himself slightly confused at the sudden change, but at the same time endeared. “Goodnight.”

“No, wait.”

There was shuffling until Jungkook felt Jimin’s body pressed close to him.

“So that you won’t freeze during the night,” Jimin whispered.

Jungkook couldn’t complain.

It turned out Jimin truly decided to stay. At least for a couple nights. He hopped onto the passenger seat when Jungkook decided he really needed to get some fresh groceries. It shouldn’t have bothered Jungkook so much, but Jimin explained he’d promised to work at the store for a couple days. But he’d come back.

Jungkook wasn’t sure how it worked, but it seemed Jimin was well enough to shift — as Taehyung had called it — very soon. And Jimin seemed more and more restless too. He didn’t come back to the mountain with Jungkook that day, after Jungkook had done his round at the store and was ready to head out, Jimin engulfed him into a hug and pressed his nose to the side of Jungkook’s neck (another thing that seemed to be a habit for him).

“I’ll be back before you know it, I promise. You’ll have to survive without me for a bit, Bunny, can you do that?” Jimin whispered.

“I — I think I can,” Jungkook said, half amused, half another feeling he didn’t quite understand before he was on his way back, with only his grocery bag to keep him company.

He was quite devastated to return alone yet again.

Jimin stayed away for two days, not that Jungkook was counting.

He woke up one night to a thump and a curse coming from outside, most likely from his porch. Then the door opened, letting in the cold air, and Jungkook was about to search for the closest thing he could use as a weapon with his heart hammering inside his chest when —

“You don’t lock your door at night? Hyung, anyone could barge in.” Jimin pulled the door closed. “I knew you’d need me here.”

Before Jungkook could defend himself and say no one usually came up here, there was the slap of steps from bare feet, the lifting of the side of Jungkook’s duvet as Jimin crawled into bed and plastered against Jungkook’s side. Only then Jungkook’s sleepy mind realised Jimin was naked and seemingly not bothered about it.

“You’re naked,” he breathed.

“Yes, so heat me up.” Jimin nuzzled into Jungkook’s neck.

“Huh?”

“I shifted on your porch so that I could open the door, it’s freezing outside. Warm me up.”

Jungkook felt Jimin’s cold toes at his ankles and his cold nose against his neck. And Jimin was clearly the braver one, pressing himself even closer to Jungkook, his arm coming around Jungkook’s waist like it was meant to be there, holding Jungkook tight.

And a sudden bubbling of emotions had Jungkook biting his lip and blinking his eyes, because for some reason he hadn’t felt this safe with another person in years. Which was completely unexpected.

“Why is your heart beating so fast?” Jimin lifted his head. “Are you crying? I didn’t mean to make you cry.” His voice was slightly panicked as he began pushing himself up again. “I can go. I can leave. I didn’t mean to — “

“No,” Jungkook whispered and let the tears fall down the sides of his face silently. “Stay. Please. I want you to.” I need you to.

“Why are you crying? It’s hurting me.” Jimin leaned back down and without a warning placed his forehead against Jungkook’s, his hands on either side of Jungkook’s face.

And he should have recoiled from it. It should’ve ringed the alarm bells inside Jungkook’s head like the times he tried to have normal relationships after him. But it was still peaceful, still safe.

Jungkook sniffed his nose. “Sorry. I just — “ It was so difficult to say out loud.

“You like having me around so much it makes you cry?” Jimin’s brow creased against Jungkook’s before he lifted his head. “I know I’m irreplaceable, but didn’t realise you felt this much too. I’m not good with human emotions, but — I can’t stop thinking about you. I have this need to be close to you and to make sure you’re okay. Do you understand?”

He still held Jungkook’s face and hesitantly Jungkook’s hand found Jimin’s arm.

“Namjoon hyung calls it love,” Jimin continued. “I still need to explore it more to know for sure. Your heart is beating fast again.”

“I thought I knew what love was,” Jungkook whispered.

He once thought he knew, he really did. But it was only just an imitation, mockery even. Loving someone didn’t mean destroying them.

Jimin moved a little, so that he was nearly lying on top of Jungkook and Jungkook tried to keep his breathing even.

“You know what it is now?” Jimin asked.

“I’m not sure.”

“Maybe you’ll find out and tell me too.”

Jungkook let out a wet chuckle. “Okay.”

Jimin placed his head over Jungkook’s chest and positioned his body so that Jungkook felt like he was being hugged by an octopus. But tentatively he brought his own hands around Jimin’s shoulders. It had been long since the last time he reciprocated something like this.

The same pattern continued.

Jimin came to stay with Jungkook for a couple days until he remembered he’d promised to help one of his hyungs and he headed down, either on his own or when Jungkook needed to go down to the village as well. And then he would return in the evening or during the night, scaring Jungkook every time and scolding him every time Jungkook had left the door unlocked.

But now he left it unlocked for Jimin.

The best part of it all — and Jungkook shocked himself by admitting it — was when Jimin decided to be his touchy self. Following Jungkook around the house, hanging half from Jungkook’s shoulders or sleeping half on top of Jungkook. And none of it made Jungkook feel pressured to anything more.

He’d thought about it in the past, if he could ever be able to be intimate with another man again and back then the answer had been no. With Jimin though the expectations didn’t seem to be the same. Jimin never tried more than their cuddling, more than what he felt like. And Jungkook was perfectly content with the speed of things.

One night Jimin pressed his nose against Jungkook’s neck as usual and before he commanded Jungkook to spoon him, he pressed a quiet kiss there, simply a press of lips, soft and tender. Making something flutter inside Jungkook’s chest.

Jungkook wasn’t even sure Jimin realised what he had just done.

But in the morning Jimin lifted his head up, red hair pointing in all directions and his eyes puffy with sleep and he leaned in to give a small peck over Jungkook’s lips.

“I hope that’s okay, I felt like trying if I like it,” Jimin said right after.

Jungkook nodded, astonished. “And — did you like it?”

Jimin’s eyes went from Jungkook’s eyes to his lips. “I did. I might do it again if you let me.”

“What if I said no?” Jungkook asked.

“Then I’d stop,” Jimin said, the light in his eyes dimming a little. “If you’d get tired of me, I’d leave. But I don’t want to. Is that what you want?”

“No,” Jungkook admitted. “I don’t want you to stop — or to leave.”

“Good. Can I do it again now?” Jimin lifted his eyebrows.

Jungkook let himself smile. “Sure.”

And after that kisses became a thing Jimin gave with his touches.

“How did you lose your family?” Jungkook asked quietly one night, not sure if he should, but being curious either way.

Jimin had mentioned it again during the day, that he didn’t quite know how to be what he was since no one was there to show him. But this time it was with furrowed brows and frustration, because despite looking like a normal human in his human body he didn’t quite pass as one, and it stayed in Jungkook’s mind when they cuddled under the duvet to sleep.

“I’m not sure,” Jimin whispered. “There was a fire, I think. Hoseok hyung told me I smelled like smoke and my tail hairs were singed at the end when he found me. I can’t really remember and I don’t really want to either.” He pressed his face into Jungkook’s neck and breathed in.

Jungkook held Jimin a little tighter. Not wanting to remember was all too familiar to him.

“Do you have a family?” Jimin asked.

“I do, but I haven’t talked to them in about nine years.”

“Why?”

“Something happened — someone — he said things about me to my parents and they believed it even though it wasn’t true.”

“I don’t know if I understand.”

Jungkook took a deep breath. “I — I was in an abusive relationship.”

Jimin sprang up to sit all of a sudden and growled. “I’m going to pounce and bite their neck off!”

Jungkook let out a laugh, but then he realised what he’d confessed, finally letting his secret out in the open, giving it a name, his weakness, his stupidity, so he took a quick breath in and covered his face, trying to keep the stupid emotions away.

“Hyung.” Jimin’s voice was careful.

Next his weight returned over Jungkook’s side, pressing closer and hugging him.

“I can’t talk about it,” Jungkook choked out. “But I wanted you to know.”

Maybe he could say more one day, but not now.

“I’m going to hold you tight. Okay?” Jimin said.

“Okay.”

And Jungkook let himself grieve for the twenty-something Jungkook for the first time, who should have known better than to believe all the promises a man more than ten years older than him gave him. About his naive outlook on life and how harshly it had bitten him back and taught him the lessons he wouldn’t have wanted to learn.

The young barista had moved in with his older boyfriend, a man of money, it was exciting. At first. But it all started so subtly. First the man got to his friends, then his family, then he lost his job suddenly, out of nowhere. Little by little the life he tried to build crumbled down until he one day realised he was isolated and relied on the man completely.

And then it turned physical.

Jungkook shuddered as some of the memories played out in his head, but Jimin’s presence at his side kept him grounded.

He wanted to learn to trust again, to forgive the decisions he made when he didn’t know any better. He wanted to love. To let people in.

Everything he thought protected him out here only kept him more isolated. And the method of protecting himself became a punishment as well. But did he deserve it?

He was lonely.

He was so very lonely that it physically ached inside his chest.

But the tighter Jimin held him, the more he let the tears fall, it felt lighter. And soon he felt tired. Jimin’s fingers in his hair soothing. A sense of calmness all over his body.

The next time Jungkook drove to the village Jimin was sitting quietly in the passenger seat next to him, looking out of the window.

“What are you thinking?” Jungkook asked.

It wasn’t that long from the night he broke down in Jimin’s arms. It happened three nights ago. And Jimin had been more attentive and clingy afterwards so this was slightly different.

“Thoughts,” Jimin replied solemnly without turning to look.

“Okay.”

“There’s something I need to do once we get to the village. Can you manage the groceries alone?” Now Jimin glanced at Jungkook with his eyes wide.

“I’ve managed for four years.”

“Hmm.” Jimin’s eyes narrowed, suspicious. “Okay.”

Jungkook parked the truck at the grocery store parking lot. Once the engine was off Jimin leaned over to give Jungkook a quick kiss and then he was leaving already.

“I’ll meet you here. Can you wait for me?” Jimin asked before hopping out.

“I’ll wait,” Jungkook said.

He sat inside the car for a little while, watching as Jimin ran past the shop and disappeared from view. And then he hopped out too, heading to the store.

“Ah Jungkook!” Hoseok greeted from behind the counter as always. “Where’s Jimin?”

“He had things to do,” Jungkook said, pointing his thumb over his shoulder.

Hoseok nodded. “I think I might know what things.”

Jungkook had found himself less wary around Jimin’s friends even though he hadn’t met Namjoon or Yoongi again yet. Hoseok had a way of slithering through the cracks that Jimin had made. Taehyung took a more practical approach, offering help with fixing things and more ploughing whenever Jungkook needed. Seokjin sometimes sent food and Jungkook couldn’t say no to that because it was usually very delicious.

Once he’d done his round at the store, Hoseok took another kimchi container from underneath the counter and placed it next to the other items.

“From Jin hyung?” Jungkook asked.

“He made extra. And he still wants you to come visit the cafe.”

Jungkook sighed. He hadn’t stepped foot in the cafe yet. He was scared of what kind of memories it would bring to the surface, of lost dreams, of life he didn’t get to have. But maybe he was more ready now. “Later.”

“For sure this time.” Hoseok raised his eyebrows like he meant it.

The corners of Jungkook’s lips twitched up a little. “Yes. Jimin will drag me there anyway at some point.”

“He’s good with you. You calm him down,” Hoseok said and beeped the last items.

“We’re — good together,” Jungkook admitted quietly.

“I’d say take care of him, but I think it might be the other way around.”

Jungkook let out a chuckle and then widened his eyes, having laughed the first time in Hoseok’s company. “He definitely tries.”

Doing more than he normally would, and since the store was so quiet at this time, Hoseok helped Jungkook by carrying the kimchi container to Jungkook’s truck. And when Hoseok was about to go back inside he turned towards Jungkook, almost said something, shook his head a little and gave Jungkook’s shoulder a quick squeeze.

“It’s nice to get to know you finally,” he ended up saying before leaving Jungkook by his car.

Feeling a little tender from the gesture, Jungkook went to the driver’s seat to wait for Jimin to arrive.

He had closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the seat, not sure about the passage of time, when the passenger door opened.

”Hyung.” Jimin’s voice sounded breathy.

There was a thud, Jungkook blinked his eyes open to see a duffel bag in the foot space and Jimin hoisting a backpack to join it.

”What’s this?”

”This is what I own. I’m moving in with you,” Jimin said and climbed to his seat. ”I just think it’s more convenient like that.”

Jungkook tried to hold back a smile. “Oh really? What about your hyungs?”

“They’re old enough to take care of themselves, they can’t always rely on me. And besides, I’m going to come back to help them from time to time.” Jimin pulled the seatbelt on and only after leaned towards Jungkook with puckered lips, waiting for a kiss.

With a fluttering inside his belly, Jungkook closed the gap. But instead of it being the usual short peck, Jungkook placed his hand behind Jimin’s neck and let it linger for a bit longer. When he pulled back Jimin fluttered his eyes open and let out a shaky breath.

“That was new. I like that,” Jimin said and leaned back in his seat. “You’ll have to do that again.”

Jungkook chuckled. “Sure.” He started the engine. “So you’ve talked with your hyungs? Told them you’d be moving in with me?”

“They agree with me. You need me more now.” Jimin was quiet for a second as Jungkook reversed away from the parking space and turned towards the road. Then he lowered his head. “And I need you too,” he muttered into his coat.

Jungkook reached his hand over and gave Jimin’s thigh a squeeze. Jimin grabbed it and lifted the back of Jungkook’s hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss and placing their joined hands on his leg. He didn’t let go of it until Jungkook said he’d need both of his hands to steer through the deep bends in the road.

“You are going to let me stay, right?” Jimin asked when they’d arrived and they were already unloading the groceries and Jimin’s bags.

“It depends, will you learn how to use the shower container?”

Jimin scrunched his nose. “Never. I’m a fox, I can lick myself clean. Or you can warm baths for me. Is it really going to come down to if I shower under freezing water or not?”

Jungkook laughed. “No. There’s no conditions, you can stay.” It came out so easily. There was no one else Jungkook could even think about sharing his space with than Jimin.

Jimin looked at him for a moment, dropped his bags on the snowy ground and walked straight in for a hug, winding his arms around Jungkook’s middle and burying his face into Jungkook’s neck. Jimin’s cold nose against the familiar spot on Jungkook’s skin sent shivers down his spine. Reciprocating was a lot easier these days. Jungkook carefully lowered the grocery bag to his side and hugged Jimin back, unable to resist placing a kiss on his temple.

Jimin hummed and tightened his hold. “I have an idea.” He pulled his head back to look into Jungkook’s eyes, all serious. “Why don’t you just warm water in a pot and put it in the shower container, that would give you a warm shower.”

Jungkook brushed some of the hairs out of Jimin’s eyes. “I hadn’t even thought of that.” The truth was he never even entertained something like it, because it would have taken more time, it would have been an indulgence. “That’s not a bad idea.”

Jimin sighed and shook his head. “I don’t know where you'd be without me. How did you ever manage four years on your own here?”

“I don’t really know.” Jungkook smiled.

The winter began to give way to spring. The snow melted during the days in little trickles and rivulets down the hills. The small stream at the back of the house wasn’t so small or calm this time of the year.

“Jungkook, hyung, Bunny! I did it!”

Jungkook stirred awake from the shout, realising the bed on Jimin’s side was empty. Jimin did that from time to time, waking up before dawn and going for a run. Jungkook knew he had the need to be a fox and live according to his instincts at least twice a week. Or that's what Jimin had said.

Any rodent problems Jungkook might have had had disappeared after Jimin moved in permanently.

“If you don’t come and look right now, I’m going to come inside and throw snow at you!”

Jungkook rubbed his face in his palms, feeling the smile that had become more frequent forming on his lips.

The door opened. “How can you still be sleeping?”

“Don’t bring snow inside.”

Jimin was wearing a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, he’d learned it was easier to shift to his human form in winter if he had something to wear right after instead of just using Jungkook as his personal heater.

“I don’t have snow, I didn’t mean it, but you have to wake up.” Jimin stomped inside, coming to the bed and flopping over Jungkook. “Come see what I got you.” He was about to lean closer for a kiss when Jungkook noticed red in the corner of his mouth.

“Is that blood?”

“Huh?”

“Don’t kiss me straight after hunting, we’ve talked about this.” Jungkook sighed, but was still more amused than annoyed. There wasn’t much about Jimin that annoyed him, if he was honest.

“But I hunted for you,” Jimin said and tried to lick his lips clean.

He leaned in again, but this time Jungkook pushed him off and rolled them around, with a whine from Jimin. Jungkook placed his head over Jimin’s chest instead.

“Can it wait?” he asked and closed his eyes at the sound of Jimin’s heartbeat. “What time is it anyway?”

“Time to wake up.” But instead of trying to get Jungkook out of bed, Jimin’s fingers tangled into Jungkook’s hair, brushing it gently.

Ten or twenty minutes later Jungkook was standing on his threshold, his hands on his hips, staring down at the gift Jimin hunted for him. Jimin was clearly proud of himself and the rabbit was a big one.

“See, I can provide and bring you meat you can eat,” Jimin said, his whole face bright and excited.

“One thing I don’t understand, you kill rabbits and call me Bunny,” Jungkook said, only slightly concerned.

“Would you like me to call you Vole or a Deer?”

“Deer as in the animal deer? And why vole? Do you see me as prey?”

“No! Humans are far too big for foxes. And I wouldn’t want to eat you.” Jimin pouted, coming to hug Jungkook’s waist.

“That’s a relief.”

“I thought you looked like a scared little vole when I saw you for the first time. And then I thought you looked like a scared bunny, it still fits you.”

In the middle of trying to understand Jimin’s thought patterns, there was a slight constriction of Jungkook’s heart at Jimin’s words. He felt like he’d come quite a way from the man Jimin saw four years ago, but he was still underneath the surface, part of Jungkook. And that was okay, perhaps.

Jungkook looked at the poor lifeless rabbit again, just lying there on his porch. “How should we prepare it?”

“So you like it,” Jimin said with a small smile. “I knew you would.”

“Yes, but you don’t have to make this a habit,” Jungkook said.

“Oh I won’t,” Jimin huffed like it was obvious. “Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to catch a rabbit, they’re fast and big. Little things are much nicer and they squeak less when I bite them. Rabbits scream.”

Jungkook wasn’t sure what to think about that. “Hmm, okay. Thank you for this one.”

“Good. You’re welcome.” Jimin’s smile was pleased. “I’m going to prepare it now.”

“You do whatever you need to do to it,” Jungkook said, deciding it was better to step out of Jimin’s way in this matter.

The first time he caught Jimin casually munching on raw meat while cooking their dinner hadn’t left Jungkook’s mind. But that was Jimin. He was as much of a fox as he was a human. Or sometimes maybe less human. Jimin was Jimin and Jungkook liked — loved all of him.

It turned out the rabbit tasted delicious and Jimin’s cooking skills had improved a lot. After finishing their dinner Jungkook kissed Jimin the longest he had yet and Jimin decided that wasn’t enough, wanting another one.

“It’s going to be okay, they want you there. And it’s my Hobi hyung’s birthday so I need to be there,” Jimin said from the side.

Jungkook had been agonising over his wardrobe for the last hour, feeling like he had nothing to wear at a birthday party. But mostly he was terrified of the idea that he had to meet all of Jimin’s friends at the same time. He was scared of messing it up, of being ridiculed, of being criticised right there in front of everyone.

Echoes from the past. He knew that.

“Here, let me.” Jimin dragged Jungkook to sit on the mattress and went to the cabinet that held all of their clothes inside. He searched for a moment and returned with a purple flannel shirt and jeans. “These’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Look at what I’m wearing.” Jimin was in his old jeans and an oversized blue cardigan over a white t-shirt. The blue clashed slightly with the red of his hair, but he looked soft. “Did you know some men put their hair up like this?” He came closer and gathered Jungkook’s hair up into a ponytail. There was a flash of something new in his eyes as they flitted across Jungkook’s face. “It looks nice,” he whispered. “I’ll tie it up for you.”

Half an hour later Jungkook was dressed in the clothes Jimin suggested and they both had matching ponytails.

Jungkook’s nerves didn’t give him any mercy as he drove down, not even Jimin’s fingers absentmindedly playing with his earlobe helped. And once they were parked in front of the cafe, Jungkook had to lean his head against the steering wheel to breathe.

He heard Jimin shifting on his seat and soon his warmth enveloped Jungkook, his nose pressing to Jungkook’s neck.

“They’re humans, they won’t eat you,” Jimin whispered.

Jungkook would have wanted to say that sometimes — too often — humans were the most cruel creatures on the planet, but he decided to concentrate on the feeling of Jimin’s breath against his skin.

“They really like you and care about you, they say that a lot to me,” Jimin continued. “I don’t think they love you like I do, but I wouldn’t even let them.”

Slowly, Jungkook began lifting himself back up to see Jimin’s face. “You’ve figured it out?”

“Love?”

Jungkook nodded.

“I think it’s not as complicated as Joon hyung thinks it is. It’s very easy, just letting the water flow.” Jimin’s face was serious.

“Uhuh? I love you too.”

That brought a smile on those beautiful lips. “I knew you would. I knew it when I saw you the first time.”

Jungkook raised his eyebrows. “You did?”

Jimin laughed like it was the funniest thing. He then grabbed Jungkook at the back of his neck and gave one of his long kisses. “We need to go in. Do you feel better?”

“Yeah.” Even if it was only a little bit.

“Good. That’s important.”

For some reason Jungkook expected the memories to slam against his face the first time he’d step into a cafe again. He wasn’t sure why he imagined every place to be the same. The smell of coffee in the air was the same, but other than that he only saw what was in front of him right at that moment. It was so different from the interior that it gave Jungkook no possibility to remember the scene that changed the course of his life.

And it felt strange.

“Ooh, I haven’t seen you in purple before,” Hoseok said when he first laid eyes on Jungkook after they walked inside the cafe, bringing Jungkook out of his thoughts. “Looks nice.” He gave an appreciative smile. “Also hi, welcome, thank you for coming to my little party.”

The hug Hoseok gave to Jungkook too was unexpected and Jungkook couldn’t help stiffening a little from the surprise. But he recovered quickly when Jimin came to his side.

“I thought it was blue.” Jimin stared at the shirt with a small frown. “I thought I gave you a blue shirt, so that we could match.”

Jungkook looked down at the purple chequered fabric. “Blue or purple, I like it.” He pulled Jimin closer to him. “You picked well.”

“Maybe you should start writing the colours on them so that I’ll know too. I’m wearing blue right?”

“You are.”

“Good. It goes well with my hair.”

It didn’t, but Jimin had explained he didn’t know what bright red looked like and that to him his hair was brown, or what he assumed was brown, and that was enough.

“Min, your hair is cute.” Hoseok came back with a polaroid camera and snapped a picture before either of them could look at the lens, leaving Jungkook’s goofy smile over how much he loved Jimin forever eternalised on a photo.

And when he saw the photo, it showed Jimin had just turned to look at his hyung with wide eyes and Jungkook was still staring at Jimin. It wasn’t a bad photo at all.

The party was a private occasion. Jungkook didn’t have to worry about seeing faces he didn’t know beforehand. They had pushed three smaller tables together to form one longer one and Jimin was constantly at Jungkook’s side.

Apart from the not so agreeable first meeting, Yoongi was friendly and attentive. He was a very good cook as well. Seokjin made sure everyone’s plates were filled and Namjoon gifted Jungkook the book he’d written.

“It’s not my birthday,” Jungkook said quietly while looking at the cover.

“Jimin said you read. And I assume you might’ve missed a few birthdays, so it’s okay,” Namjoon said. “Though don’t think I’m trying to boast with this or anything, I just had a copy lying around and all of my other friends have this so I thought I’d give you one too.” He chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck.

Jungkook was surprised by the indication that he was counted as one of Namjoon’s friends too, but he appreciated it. “Thank you, I’ll read it.”

While the others were loud at times and carried on conversations from various different topics, Jungkook didn’t feel like he had to join in to be part of the group. And despite the others knowing each other a lot longer, it didn’t make Jungkook feel like he couldn’t belong. Which was new.

Jimin’s constant warmth against his side helped too.

When the snow was gone and new growth pushed from the ground, when the leaves in the trees were the size of mouse ears and the few cherries began blooming pink, Jungkook took another step forward by agreeing to invite their five friends to the mountain. He wasn’t sure how it would go — and no Jimin didn’t have to hunt rabbits for them to eat — but at least he was determined to make it work.

There wasn’t enough space inside around the table for all seven of them and the thought of too many people in Jungkook’s home made him feel anxious before it even happened. But he hadn’t figured out other options yet.

That day Jungkook saw Jimin shift in front of his eyes for the first time and it was, without finding a better word for it, a bit of a mindfuck.

Jimin was rolling around in the dust of their yard in his fox form, his red fur all dirty (but apparently it felt good) while Jungkook felt stuck in place, standing at the edge of the porch, not really focusing his gaze anywhere. Jimin first stopped rolling and lifted his head to look at Jungkook. His ears twitching towards him, his snout sniffed the air before he stood up to his four paws and shook most of the dust away from his fur.

And then it happened. Like the weirdest unfolding of one being into another.

Next thing Jungkook knew, Jimin stood up on his two human legs and ran to him, not caring about his nakedness as usual, a worried frown on his face. “Why do you look like that?” He took Jungkook’s cheeks between his palms.

“Like what?”

“Like you have a cloud over your head. I thought that was in the past.”

Jungkook sighed, closing his eyes. “Where do we entertain your friends?”

“Our friends.”

“Our friends.”

“Maybe outside?” Jimin pressed a kiss on Jungkook’s lips and licked across his cheek. “You taste like the sun.” He licked Jungkook’s other cheek too.

“Right, okay.” It wasn’t the first time Jimin licked Jungkook’s face after shifting, but it was always a little — different. “On the porch?”

“Yeah, why not.” Jimin removed his hands from Jungkook’s face, placing them to his own hips and looking at the porch in question. “It’ll be good. You humans are so fussy sometimes.” He gave Jungkook’s butt a pat and walked inside.

“Don’t spread dust everywhere!”

Jimin’s head appeared back from behind the door. “Shower with me?” he asked with the kind of smile on his face that made Jungkook want to give him the world.

“That means I need to get more water and heat it up,” Jungkook said.

“I know. Make it quick, too.”

When Jimin disappeared inside, Jungkook shook his head with a smile.

God, he was so happy with Jimin.

Their friends arrived before everything was ready, all stuffed inside Yoongi’s car, but when Jungkook saw they brought a feast with them his worries began to dissipate. At least there would be enough food. The day was warm. The porch wasn’t too big either, but they spread a blanket there and everyone found places to sit.

The harder part for Jungkook was being the host and having the attention on him. Namjoon was curious about how everything worked there, they all were to different degrees, but Namjoon the most. And Jungkook wasn’t used to answering so many questions on how he lived. Jimin had his fingers at the back of Jungkook’s head, stroking Jungkook’s hair, and his chin was on Jungkook’s shoulder most of the time. It was supposed to be calming, but Jungkook lost his thread of his thoughts more than once, getting too distracted in the feeling of Jimin right there.

After eating Taehyung took out Uno cards and suggested one round before they’d leave. Jimin was quiet the whole time the cards were dealt between the seven of them, a slight frown between his brows.

“What colour is it?” he whispered to Jungkook when it was his turn.

“Hey, no cheating,” Taehyung said from the other side.

“It’s not cheating, we’re a team,” Jimin countered. “Besides, you know I can’t see these colours and you chose Uno.”

Taehyung’s smile fell. “Oh yeah, sorry. I forgot.”

“It’s fine. It’s not like you all can tell that there’s a rat about four metres from here under a bush.”

All of them turned to look where Jimin pointed at and Hoseok moved a little closer to Seokjin.

“There is?” Jungkook asked.

“Don’t worry, I’ll catch it later,” Jimin said and gave Jungkook a peck. “Now, what colour is it?”

“Jungkook can help Jimin,” Yoongi said from Jimin’s left side. “I think that’s fair.”

Everyone else agreed too.

To Jungkook’s surprise he ended up winning and Jimin jumped up to his knees wiggling and cheering as if it had been him.

“That was fun, we should do this again, I like winning,” Jimin said when Taehyung began collecting the cards back.

“Min, you didn’t win.” Hoseok laughed.

“I did. If Jungkook wins, I win, I said we’re a team.”

Jungkook smiled, he felt tired, but content. He grabbed Jimin by the waist and pulled him closer into a side hug, placing his head on Jimin’s shoulder.

“It’s getting late, we should probably head back home,” Yoongi said.

Jungkook hoped that the smile he directed at Yoongi conveyed his gratefulness for the suggestion to leave. It had been a good afternoon, but Jungkook’s tolerance for social interaction was still low.

The dusk was already setting when the others finally left. Jimin and Jungkook stood outside, waving them goodbye.

“Don’t drive over any animals!” Jimin shouted as a last thing, before the car disappeared behind the bend. “I don’t think they heard. Human ears are so useless.”

“I’m sure they’ll drive carefully. Let’s go in?”

“I might take a run. There’s a rat I need to kill.”

Jungkook couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped from his mouth. Jimin looked too cute with his eyes narrowed, nose scrunched and vengeance against a poor rat in his spirit.

“Okay,” Jungkook said and took Jimin’s face between his palms before pressing a kiss on Jimin’s lips. “But wash up before you come inside. And brush your teeth.”

Jimin pulled Jungkook closer. “I’m protecting you well, Bunny.”

“Yes you are. Don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Exactly. Though — “ Jimin turned his eyes down, his confidence changed to vulnerability. “I don’t know what I’d do without you either.”

Jungkook kissed him again and again. “Go get the rat.”

That made Jimin smile.

Jungkook was sitting on the floor next to the bed, Uno cards spread in front of him and a marker in his hand when Jimin arrived back inside and draped himself heavily over Jungkook’s back.

“What are you doing?” he asked over Jungkook’s shoulder, hands coming down either side of Jungkook’s head to browse through the cards on the floor.

“Did you get the rat?” Jungkook asked.

“Of course I did, I’m a prime hunter. Now answer my question. Why are you writing on the cards?”

“I thought you’d enjoy the next game more if I wrote down the letters of the colours to the cards. Like this — “ Jungkook held a few of them up for Jimin to see. “G for green, B for blue and so on.”

“This is — “ Jimin whispered. “You really are the best human. Thank you.” He hugged Jungkook tighter and pressed his nose into Jungkook's neck.

Jimin made sure the next game night was soon and that he would win again.

He wasn’t lonely, waking up next to Jimin every morning. Talking about the dreams they remembered. Letting Jimin kiss his lips raw now that Jimin had learned to like it more and more. Listening to the birds and trying to convince Jimin to not hunt them for him. Luckily birds weren’t his preferred prey.

He wasn’t lonely, making breakfast while Jimin was holding him in a back hug, hanging off his neck with his nose against Jungkook’s skin. While they ate together. When Jimin had formed a new habit of feeding Jungkook some of his food despite Jungkook trying to refuse every time with a laugh, because “Hyung you need to eat.”

He wasn’t lonely, when they made their way down to the stream to get water for their shower. And by Jimin’s request Jungkook warmed it up on the stove enough that the shower was a pleasing experience. They often shared it, washing each other’s bodies, exploring with their hands.

He wasn’t lonely, driving down to the village with Jimin, being greeted by their friends. Fixing his car with Taehyung and taking suggestions for the plough Jungkook could buy for the next winter. Hoseok hyung with his surprise hugs, Jin hyung with the food and jokes. Namjoon hyung with his deep conversations that only Jimin seemed to follow perfectly. Yoongi hyung showing Jungkook that there was a way to love coffee again and what solidarity in shared experiences felt like.

The first time Yoongi had mentioned that Jimin had hinted at Jungkook’s past, Jungkook was ready to lash out with anger and shut everyone out, even Jimin. But when Yoongi continued by saying he didn’t know the exact details, but had gone through something similar, that none of what happened to Jungkook was Jungkook’s fault, a new kind of weight lifted off Jungkook’s heart. And Yoongi soon became the easiest to talk to.

Apart from Jimin.

He wasn’t lonely, preparing and eating dinner with Jimin, or whoever of their friends happened to join in too from time to time.

He wasn’t lonely when he went to bed with Jimin and slowly explored what felt comfortable and what Jimin found exciting. What was exciting for both of them.

He wasn’t lonely, sleeping being hugged by Jimin throughout the night.

He truly wasn’t lonely anymore and he wasn’t lying about it to himself. His heart was lighter and his world brighter.

“It’s like water,” Jimin whispered in the dark. “Love. Isn’t it?”

“It makes the flowers grow,” Jungkook whispered back and let his fingertips trace over Jimin’s shoulders. “It gives life.”

“Exactly. I knew you’d get it.”