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Chapter Text

Mapleshade hauled herself up onto the sodden riverbank under an overcast sky. Had the sun been visible, it would just be starting to dip towards the horizon, allowing the first teeth of late leaf-fall chill to bite. Rain fell lightly, dampening the soil and pattering rhythmically against the foliage surrounding the river. The ThunderClan queen’s wet tortoiseshell-and-white fur clung to her bulky frame, weighing her down almost as much as the exhaustion she felt from fighting against the river, swollen beyond its normal bounds by several days of rain. As soon as she was clear of the current, she flopped down onto the soil with an unpleasant wet sound.

Fighting to keep her eyes open, Mapleshade watched as a small RiverClan patrol emerged from the dense greenery, led by a stout, well-muscled light brown tom. He looked momentarily surprised, and then flattened his ears aggressively as he approached Mapleshade. He glowered at the sprawled-out ThunderClan queen, narrowing his green eyes and curling his lip. 

“Appledusk,” Mapleshade wheezed out to the cats in front of her. “Our… Our kits…”

Appledusk’s eyes widened and tried to shush her, but it was too late.

“What?!” the sharp yowl came from another member of the RiverClan patrol; an elegant, sleek-furred silver tabby standing behind Mapleshade’s mate, her beloved Appledusk.

“Her kits,” growled the light brown tom. “She has lost her kits in the river.”

“Appledusk…” Mapleshade pleaded, coughing.

“She said our kits,” the tabby pressed, flicking her tail. “Ours, meaning, her and you .”

She edged closer to Appledusk, and Mapleshade felt a flash of fury

Stay away from him, RiverClan scum!

“Just find the kits, Eeltail! And bring Splashfoot with you!” snapped Appledusk, his pale brown fur spiking along his spine and shoulders. Eeltail stared at Appledusk intently for a few moments longer, and then whisked her long, plumy tail at the nervous looking gray tom beside her. The two bounded off down the pebbly bank, in search of Mapleshade’s lost kits. 

Please, oh StarClan, let them be alive! Mapleshade thought. My precious babies!

Mapleshade looked up at her beloved mate. Appledusk stood over her, expression grim, his large frame casting a faint shadow over the tortoiseshell queen. 

“Why have you left ThunderClan?” Appledusk demanded. “I told you to stay away from RiverClan territory.”

 Mapleshade groaned, trying to get to her paws, an effort that ultimately failed. All of her muscles ached, and she felt like she could curl up in her nest and sleep for a moon. With a pang of grief, she remembered that she could never again return to her warm nest in the ThunderClan nursery.

“They turned against me… Against us…” Mapleshade muttered. 

“What?” Appledusk asked.

“Our kits…” Mapleshade groaned again. 

“Did you really bring the kits with you?!” Appledusk hissed. “Mapleshade, how could you be so foolish ?”

Mapleshade curled her claws into the soft, damp ground.

“Thunderclan has forsaken me,” Mapleshade spat with what little strength she had left. “That mouse-heart of a medicine cat told our leader, and he condemned me to exile.”

“Mapleshade, you never should have brought your kits to the river-” Appledusk began scolding Mapleshade, but he was interrupted by the yowls of approaching cats.

“Appledusk!” Eeltail called out. “We found them! We found the kits!” 

Mapleshade’s head snapped up, and she felt some of her strength return. Eeltail came bounding over urgently, followed by the pale gray tom known as Splashfoot. 

“My kits!” Mapleshade crowed. “My babies! You found them?!”

Eeltail and Splashfoot avoided making eye contact with Mapleshade. With trembling limbs, Mapleshade slowly pushed herself to her paws. Though RiverClan cats were typically more heavy-set than ThunderClan cats, Mapleshade’s large frame still dwarfed both Eeltail and Splashfoot.

“Um… Y-you’re Mapleshade, right?” Splashfoot asked nervously. The tom, though sturdily built and with a noticeable belly, was small for a RiverClan cat. He kept a defensive posture, as if he were ready to run away at any moment.

“Yes,” Mapleshade stepped towards Eeltai and Splashfootl. “Where are my kits? Why have they not followed you? Are they weak? Do they need me to carry them?”

The two RiverClan cats merely shared a sad, knowing look.

“Mapleshade,” Eeltail mewed quietly. “I am so sorry.”

Mapleshade felt a pit open in her belly.

“They can’t be-”

“They- They didn’t survive,” Eeltail’s eyes shone with pity and sadness. She walked up close to Mapleshade, draping her tail over the exiled ThunderClan Queen’s back, unbothered by her sodden fur.

 “W-We can take you to their bodies,” Splashfoot stammered, but Mapleshade could barely hear him. Breathing in so deep her lungs ached, Mapleshade let out a shrill wail, caterwauling as loudly as she could, in the hopes that even StarClan could hear her grief. 

Reedshine sat in RiverClan camp, lazily dragging her prickly tongue through the long, dark ginger fur on her chest. Clouds filled the late afternoon sky, threatening to unleash another barrage of bitterly cold leaf-fall rain. Camp was largely empty; most cats were in their dens, sheltering from the drizzle. Reedshine stayed out, though; her mate Appledusk left on a border patrol not long ago and she longed for his return. With leaf-bare starting to show its fangs the warmth of his flank against hers was more welcome than ever. 

While working on a particularly frustrating tangle in her chest fluff, a noise from the direction of the river caught her off guard. The distant drone of wailing; not of battle, but the unmistakable sound of a cat shrieking in grief. Reedshine swiveled her ears towards the sound, looking up from her grooming. Peering around camp, she found that her clanmates had heard the sound as well, and a majority of them looked as intrigued as she felt. After the yowling sound died away, many cats’ heads turned to the ancient willow tree sitting in a corner of camp. The stems woven into the roots rustled, and a stout, well-muscled black she-cat emerged, her ears pricked and alert. Her pelt, dark as night, had an impressive sheen even in the weak, overcast afternoon light. A burly dark gray tom with unkempt fur bounded over to her, and the two quickly became engrossed in a conversation.

“Darkstar! Spiketail!” a sudden yowling split the air just moments before Splashfoot, one of the cats on Appledusk’s hunting patrol, came barreling through the reed wall surrounding camp. Several cats hissed in alarm, jumping to get out of his way as he scrabbled to a stop on the damp soil ground. The two conversing cats, Riverclan’s leader and deputy, quickly stopped talking, snapping their heads attentively towards Splashfoot. 

“Darkstar! Spiketail!” He yowled again, panting, barely able to get his words out. “Darkstar! Appledusk… E-Eeltail, and I-”

Splashfoot stopped, panting as he stood in place. His frame shook and his eyes were wide, he kept opening his mouth and then closing it again.

“-Are all members of this clan, yes,” Darkstar replied patiently. “Splashfoot, remember your exercises. Take a deep breath.” 

The pale gray tom was clearly frazzled, shuffling on his paws anxiously, but he obeyed his leader as best he could, inhaling deeply. Darkstar sat front of the panicking warrior, waiting for him to calm down, completely still except for the tip of her tail, twitching apprehensively. Reedshine felt a prickle of anxiety along her spine. Had something happened to the patrol? Was Appledusk okay?

Shortly after, a stocky tom ambled into camp, and Reedshine instantly recognized the pale-brown pelt of her mate. Reedshine rose from her position and pelted over to him, sniffing every inch of his coat anxiously. He seemed fine; he had no wounds, but he wore a dark expression on his face.

Reedshine opened her mouth to ask about the rest of the patrol, but she was interrupted by the rustling of the reed wall. A silver tabby, Eeltail, walked into camp with her tail draped comfortingly over a fourth cat; a huge, bulky tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat with a sodden pelt. Reedshine didn’t recognize her, and she recoiled away when the cat’s earthy, forest scent hit her nose.

“I smell ThunderClan,” the calm, threatening voice of Darkstar echoed across camp. 

Eeltail nudged the large she-cat towards Darkstar, but she stood with her shoulders hunched and her head down, staring at the ground, completely despondent.

“Eeltail and Appledusk and I found a Thunderclan cat while patrolling,” Splashfoot finally managed to get out.

“I see, Splashfoot,” Darkstar commented. “Thank you, Splashfoot.” 

“That’s not all we found,” Eeltail meowed sheepishly, “We- ah, we… um,”

Eeltail fidgeted nervously under Darkstar’s icy blue gaze.

“Well, er, Appledusk better tell you, actually,” Eeltail bowed her head. Darkstar’s eyes flashed to Appledusk. Darkstar waited for her warriors to explain. Reedshine watched apprehensively, but Appledusk’s expression was unreadable. 

“We found this Thunderclan queen on the riverbank,” Appledusk declared. “And her three kits. She foolishly tried to cross the swell with them, and the kits tragically drowned. Their bodies are just outside of camp.”

All of the cats in camp gasped. Darkstar, however, was unshaken. She narrowed her eyes, looking between Appledusk and Mapleshade. Reedshine felt uneasy.

“Eeltail, Splashfoot, bring the bodies into camp,” Darkstar commanded. “As the Warrior Code explains, we will let these kits rest peacefully.”

“Yes, Darkstar!” Eeltail nodded briskly. She seemed glad for the excuse to leave camp, peeling away from Mapleshade and nosing Splashfoot out with her.

“Why was this ThunderClan queen in our territory?” Darkstar then turned to Appledusk.

“I don’t know,” Appledusk responded. Reedshine felt a prickle of uneasiness. She knew her mate, and she could tell when he was lying. Darkstar’s eyes bored into Appledusk, but he didn’t add anything further.

“Appledusk,” the unfamiliar queen’s voice was ragged and sounded exhausted. She sounded as if she were pleading with him. 

“Be quiet, Mapleshade,” Appledusk snapped at her. Mapleshade flattened her ears, her eyes igniting. 

“Appledusk, those were our kits!” Mapleshade hissed.

Reedshine widened her eyes in shock.

“ Your kits?!” Reedshine yowled. She looked frantically between Appledusk and Mapleshade. Appledusk avoided her gaze, and Mapleshade stared at her incredulously. 

“What’s it to you?” spat the ThunderClan queen. 

“Appledusk is my mate!” Reedshine snarled. “You’re- You’re lying! Those kits are not Appledusk’s!” 

Mapleshade puffed up her fur, striding towards Reedshine menacingly. 

“Appledusk is my mate, leech-eater,” she hissed through gritted teeth. “Not yours. He’s mine. My kits are his .”

Several warning growls rumbled at Mapleshade’s aggressive behavior, but no cat moved a muscle. Reedshine hoped her fear didn’t show; Mapleshade was a wide, bulky cat with long, vicious claws. She glared at Mapleshade, then turned to Appledusk, who was still refusing to look at her.

“Appledusk, she’s lying, isn’t she? She’s just trying to ruin your- your reputation! Because of the accident at Sunningrocks!” Reedshine pleaded. “You wouldn’t… surely , you didn’t!”

But Appledusk couldn’t meet her eyes.

“Appledusk, your mate has asked you a question,” Darkstar interjected icily. “Do not ignore her.” 

Appledusk turned his gaze to Darkstar, eyes full of hatred. Then, he finally looked to Reedshine.

“Mapleshade’s kits are mine.”

As if on cue, Eeltail and Splashfoot returned to camp with the bodies of the three kits. One tortoiseshell, one black, and one the unmistakable pale brown of Appledusk’s pelt. Reedshine’s legs felt weak. Similarly, she saw Mapleshade hanging her head, unable to look at the tiny, drenched forms.

“Appledusk!” Reedshine wailed. “Why did you do this to me?!” 

“It wasn’t about you,” Appledusk said. “I… I was foolish. I made a mistake.”

Reedshine noticed Mapleshade’s ears flattening in shock. 

“These kits may be mine by blood, but I do not claim them,” Appledusk said. He raised his head to Darkstar. “They are not RiverClan. I want nothing to do with them, or their mother. She is as foolish as she is a coward, for running away from her Clan.” 

Mapleshade’s eyes widened, and she snarled at him.

“Fox-heart! My clan cast me out! My kits and I had nowhere to go!” Mapleshade yowled. “You are their father, and I am their mother! We are mates! I cannot disclaim them, so neither can you!”

“We are not mates, Mapleshade,” Appledusk replied. “We never were.”

Appledusk walked over to Reedshine, pressing his side against hers. Mapleshade glared at the two of them. 

“Reedshine is my mate,” Appledusk mewed firmly. Reedshine felt queasy, and stepped away from him quickly. His head snapped around to look at her in shock.

“Appledusk,” Reedshine started slowly. “You… you had kits with another cat while we were mates?”

“Yes, I did, Reedshine, but it didn’t mean anything,” Appledusk tried to reassure her. “She doesn’t mean anything, her or her wretched, half-clan kits. They are nothing. They aren’t you. You are everything to me, Reedshine.”

Reedshine continued to back away from him, her eyes burning and her paws shaky.

“You fox-heart!” came a snarl from across the clearing. It was Mapleshade. She was more furious than Reedshine had ever seen a cat in her life. “You told me you had no mate! That I was your true love!”

“Quiet, please,” Darkstar mewed. Mapleshade was practically spitting with anger, but not even she dared disobey a direct order from a clan leader.

“Eeltail, Splashfoot,” Darkstar requested. “Help the elders bury these kits. As they are half RiverClan and their birth Clan has rejected them, I grant them the right to rest here in our territory.”

Again the two cats nodded, taking on the grim task. As they trudged out of camp with the kits’ bodies, several of the elders followed to assist them. 

“Darkstar, please let me stay here,” Mapleshade turned from the kits, begging to the RiverClan leader. “My clan rejected me as well. I have nowhere to go, and if my kits are buried here, I want to stay near them.”

Reedshine felt a sting of pity at the desperation in the ThunderClan queen’s voice. Darkstar heaved a deep sigh, and shook her head sadly.

“I am sorry, Mapleshade,” Darkstar mewed. “I grant your kits burial rights because they are half RiverClan. But you are not a RiverClan Cat. You are ThunderClan. You cannot stay here.”

Mapleshade gaped at her. Then, she lashed her tail angrily, drawing her lips back into a snarl, looking wildly between Appledusk and Darkstar, and occasionally flashing a look at Reedshine. Reedshine averted her gaze. She couldn’t help but feel that Darkstar’s order was unfair, but she had no right to argue with her leader. 

“You’ll all be sorry,” Mapleshade snarled. “You, Appledusk, for violating me and my trust. And you too, Darkstar, for turning me away. I will make all of RiverClan regret this decision.”

“Mapleshade,” Darkstar mewed. “You have been in our camp long enough. You must leave our territory now. I will allow you safe passage to leave, but you mustn’t return here. Now, go.” 

Darkstar’s tone was even, but the underlying message was clear. Mapleshade, furious as she was, accepted her fate. She pushed past Reedshine roughly, lashing her tail as she stalked out of camp.

The cats of RiverClan stayed silent and still after Mapleshade’s departure. Reedshine felt dizzy; she wasn’t sure how to cope with anything that just happened. A few of her clanmates were staring at her apologetically, but despite their sympathy their gazes all felt red-hot on her pelt. She turned towards the warriors den, wanting nothing more than to curl up in her nest and disappear.

“Reedshine-” she heard Appledusk begin.

“Leave me alone,” Reedshine mewed miserably. “I’m going to sleep.”

Appledusk sidled up next to Reedshine, attempting to nuzzle her as she walked. She jerked away from him, flattening her ears angrily.

“I told you to leave me alone!” she snapped. Appledusk didn’t listen, and walked towards her again, trying to press his side against hers. His touch, once so comforting to her, suddenly felt like claws on her skin. She shoved him away, a little more roughly than she intended.

“What’s the matter with you?” Appledusk demanded. “We’re mates!”

Earlier, she would have agreed with him. But now, the idea of being mates with Appledusk made Reedshine feel awful.

“No, we’re not,” Reedshine looked away from him.

“What?!” Appledusk exclaimed. “You’re going to- you’re leaving me over this?” 

Reedshine whipped around to face him, unable to believe her ears. How does he not grasp the severity of his actions? 

“Appledusk, I trusted you!” she wailed. “You said I was your mate, and your true love. Yet you said the same thing to Mapleshade!”

“I was lying to her!” Appledusk lashed his tail. “I only meant it when I said it to you . Stop being so mouse-brained!”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Reedshine spat. “We are not mates, Appledusk, not anymore, and I regret that we ever were.”

Appledusk’s fur drooped, and Reedshine turned away again to stomp off to the warriors’ den. She felt the stares of her clanmates on her pelt, and her stomach squirmed uncomfortably. Part of her felt bad for being so harsh to Appledusk. Maybe he was right. Maybe she was being foolish and angry. She pushed her way into the dark den. All of the nests were empty; the commotion of Mapleshade’s arrival had drawn nearly every cat out into the camp’s clearing. Heaving a great sigh, Reedshine circled a few times on her nest, and then settled down. She kneaded at the moss absentmindedly, but in her agitation she unsheathed her claws and shredded the soft bedding. She rolled over and looked at the wall of woven reeds; she always liked sleeping in the far back of the den. Several shells and feathers were woven into the wall next to her nest, most were gifts from Appledusk. She hissed and swatted at the decorations, sending a few shells clattering to the ground. 

Reedshine was closing her eyes and preparing to sleep when a loud yowl came from the clearing.

“DARKSTAR! DARKSTAR!!” it was the shrill wail of Eeltail. Alarmed, Reedshine got up and scrabbled to the den entrance, sending scraps of moss flying. She poked her head through the opening in the tightly woven reeds. Eeltail had burst back into camp, her fur bushed, dragging a small, pale-brown form by the scruff. 

One of Mapleshade’s dead kits, Reedshine observed. But, why….?

“Darkstar! One of the kits is still alive!”

Chapter Text

RIVERCLAN

Leader: Darkstar - Stout black she-cat with blue eyes

Deputy: Spiketail - Dark gray tom with unkempt fur

Medicine Cat: Echosnout - Grizzled black and white she-cat 

Apprentice, Cloudpaw

Warriors

Appledusk - Heavyset pale brown tom with green eyes

Reedshine - Long-furred dark ginger tabby she-cat

Eeltail - Elegant silver and black tabby she-cat, also a foster-queen 

Splashfoot - Pale gray tom with one white paw

Voleflight - Tiny, broad-shouldered dark brown tabby tom

Apprentice, Tanglepaw

Duskwater - Shaggy, dark gray she-cat 

Apprentice, Troutpaw

Milkfur - Soft white she-cat

Rainfall - Sturdy black tom

Apprentice, Birdpaw

Queens and Kits

Eeltail - Elegant silver and black tabby she-cat

Caretaker of Perchkit, a dark tabby tom-kit

Apprentices

Cloudpaw - Large white she-cat with a broad, flattened muzzle

Troutpaw - Fat gray tabby tom

Tanglepaw - Shaggy, pale brown tabby tom

Birdpaw - Gray tabby she-cat with a white muzzle

Elders

Sloefur - Long-furred black she-cat, formerly the deputy

Icewhisker - Silver-gray tom with long fur, formerly the medicine cat

Blackbee - Old black she-cat with honey colored spots, oldest cat in RiverClan

Chapter Text

A light-brown kit lay in the RiverClan medicine den. The small, young kit was conscious only enough to feel a cat nosing her roughly in the side. She groaned as the unseen cat jabbed her with a paw, then again nosing, trying to rouse her from sleep. She felt exhausted, and she couldn’t quite remember where she was, or how she’d gotten there. The only smell she could recognize was the sharp tang of herbs.

“Ravenwing?” she mewed weakly, her mew cracking with sleep.

“Ravenwing?!” the cat snorted. Her voice was deep and gruff, and she sounded unamused. “Deary, do I smell like ThunderClan to you?”

The kit peeled her eyes open. Her bleary vision betrayed only the indications of a dark den, the walls lined with various stores of healing plants. Her head and chest hurt, and she felt cold. A grizzled black-and-white she-cat was sitting next to her.

“Eat your herbs,” the she-cat ordered. “You need to get your strength back.”

“Why do I need strength back?” the kit asked. She suppressed a shiver. “I’m going to be a strong ThunderClan warrior!”

The stranger’s face twinged oddly, and then she turned away from the kit.

“What’s your name, little kit?” she asked instead, busying herself with sorting and wrapping herbs.

“I’m Petalkit, but I’m not little!” Petalkit piped up. She pushed herself to her paws and puffed out her chest proudly. Then, she felt a surge of pain in her throat and broke into a coughing fit, her lungs burning and black spots swimming in her vision. Her throat felt stuffy and slimy, but no matter how much she coughed she couldn’t rid herself of the feeling.

“Try not to cough too much,” the she-cat instructed her. “You might damage your throat, and make it difficult to speak.”

“Are you a medicine cat?” Petalkit tilted her head. “But if I’m in the medicine den, where is Ravenwing? He’s supposed to be the medicine cat, not you. You’re too old!”

“I am Echosnout,” the medicine cat narrowed her eyes. “I am the medicine cat of Riverclan. Does ThunderClan not teach kits to respect their seniors?”

“Riverclan?” Petalkit blinked. She felt confused. “What am I doing in RiverClan ?!”

“Petalkit,” Echosnout mewed, her tone becoming unusually soft. “You live in RiverClan now.”

“WHAT?!” Petalkit felt her fur prickling along her spine. She shook her head in disbelief, the dizziness returning as she staggered to the side. “I can’t stay here! I don’t want to eat fish! I have to get back to my Clan! My… my kin… my…”

The memories came rushing back to Petalkit. Her mother, Mapleshade, urging her into the river. The roar of the approaching swell. And then… silence.

“Don’t wear yourself out,” Echosnout mewed curtly. “Now eat your herbs.”

Petalkit looked down at the bundle of herbs Echosnout had put together, her jaw slack. She felt too sick to eat anything. Why was she alone? Where was Mapleshade? Where are Patchkit and Larchkit? Why weren’t they with her? Would poor, meek little Patchkit be okay without her? Did they miss her? She stared at the plants sitting in front of her paws. 

“You can’t eat with your eyes, kit,” Echosnout mewed. 

“Where is Mapleshade?” Petalkit asked. “And Larchkit, and Patchkit?”

Echosnout exhaled through her nose, twitching an ear. She didn’t reply right away. Petalkit thought maybe she looked like she didn’t know what to say. Before she could answer, a rustling at the den entrance signaled the arrival of another cat.

“Echosnout, I’ve forgotten the difference between burdock and borage again,” meowed a large snow-white she-cat with a flattened muzzle as she pushed her way into the den. The brief flash of sunlight from outside made Petalkit dizzy. “Could we go over it once more?”

Echosnout growled quietly.

“Cloudpaw,” the medicine cat reprimanded the newcomer. “You shouldn’t be forgetting these things. This is why you haven’t gotten your full name yet, despite being almost twenty-four moons old.”

Petalkit’s eyes widened. She wasn’t sure how much twenty four is, but it sounded like a lot more than just four, the number of moons she was. 

“You’re an apprentice?!” Petalkit asked Cloudpaw. “But you’re so big! And old! Are all riverclan medicine cats as old as you two?”

Cloudpaw turned in surprise to Petalkit, pricking her ears forward. 

“Oh, little Petalkit!” Cloudpaw mewed. “You’re awake!” 

“Why are you both so old?” Petalkit repeated. Echosnout rolled her eyes, but Cloudpaw let out a mrrow of amusement.

“Echosnout’s old because she was born a long time ago,” Cloudpaw explained to Petalkit. 

“Very observant,” Echosnout mewed dryly.

“And I’m old for an apprentice because I’m not too good at my duties, so I can’t get my full medicine cat name,” Cloudpaw hung her head, her chipper tone ebbing.

“Yet,” Echosnout added on sharply. “You’ll get there someday. Even if you are many moons late. Better late than never.” 

Cloudpaw ducked her head to her mentor. Petalkit peered at them curiously. Echosnout seemed like a mean cat, but she clearly cared about her forgetful apprentice. Cloudpaw turned back to Petalkit.

“Petalkit, I’m so glad you’re awake! I’ve been dying to meet you ever since Eeltail told me about what happened to your mother and littermates-” Cloudpaw began, but Echosnout cuffed her on the back of the head. At the mention of her family, Petalkit felt nervousness worm in her belly.

“Mouse-brain! I haven’t told her what happened yet!” Echosnout hissed. Cloudpaw flattened her ears.

“Oh dear!” The white apprentice sputtered. She shuffled her paws awkwardly. “I… I’ll head back to the nursery then. And um… Well, I’ll let you handle it!” 

Echosnout shook her head exasperatedly as Cloudpaw bounded away. Petalkit shifted on her paws anxiously.

“What happened to Mapleshade? And my littermates?” Petalkit squeaked. Did they not want her anymore?

The old medicine cat heaved an enormous sigh. 

“You must remember crossing the river,” Echosnout began slowly.

“Yes,” Petalkit mewed quietly. “There was… There was a huge wave… It rushed at us… then I woke up here.”

Petalkit felt her fur bristling instinctively, the air spiked with her fear-scent as she began to put together what must have happened.

“Your littermates didn’t survive the flood,” Echosnout mewed the words for her. “Your mother… she was sent away by Darkstar.”

“What?!” Petalkit cried. “Why couldn’t Mapleshade stay?! Why do I have to be alone?!”

“It’s complicated,” Echosnout couldn’t meet Petalkit’s eyes. 

“I need to be with Mapleshade!” Petalkit wailed, thinking of all her warm nights in the ThunderClan nursery, curled up against her mother’s belly. She longed to return, but something deep inside told her she never would.

“Mapleshade is a rogue now,” Echosnout mewed. “You will be safer here, in RiverClan. Medicine cats do not believe in clan borders, and the Warrior Code demands that all cats look after kits.”

“I don’t want you!” Petalkit’s eyes stung, and she choked out a sob. Her throat burned as she fought back coughs. “I want Mapleshade! And… And Patchkit, and Larchkit! Tell Darkstar to bring Mapleshade back!” 

“The leader’s word is law,” Echosnout muttered, her voice almost bitter. “Darkstar exiled Mapleshade. That order cannot be undone.”

Petalkit let out another shrill caterwaul, hoping that the wail would somehow expunge the despair from her body. Her throat and lungs burned, and she trailed off into another coughing fit.

“Pipe down,” Echosnout hissed. Then, her tone softened. “I know it’s hard to lose your family. But this is the life you have been dealt, Petalkit. There isn’t anything you can do to change it.”

Petalkit stared at the ground. It didn’t feel fair. Was there truly nothing she could do? The bundle of herbs Echosnout made for her was still sitting by her paws. Angrily, she swiped at it with a paw, batting it away and scattering all the herbs that had been neatly wrapped inside. 

“Hey!” Echosnout snapped. “Don’t be such a petulant little rat!”

“I don’t want your stupid herbs! Or to live in RiverClan!” Petalkit yowled. “I want to go back to ThunderClan and live with Mapleshade and my littermates!”

“You can’t do that, Petalkit,” Echosnout mewed. 

“That’s not fair!” Petalkit continued wailing, her voice growing raspy and ragged. “I want… I want…”

Exhaustion was creeping up over her body, and she began to sway on her paws.

“You mustn’t work yourself up so much,” Echosnout mewed, her tone friendlier but still firm. “Now, go pick up those herbs and take them, so you can get some more rest.” 

As angry as Petalkit was, she simply felt too exhausted to continue fighting. She stomped over to where she had batted the herb bundle and began picking up the plants, bringing them back over to Echosnout. The old medicine cat watched with a sharp eye.

“It seems the poppy seeds vanished,” Echosnout observed. “Not surprising. They’re quite tiny, and easy to lose when you bat them around like a mossball.”

Echosnout’s scolding made Petalkit feel small. She bowed her head and ate the mouthful of bitter, pungent leaves, followed by a few fresh poppy seeds that Echosnout brought over from the herb stores. She swiped her tongue around her jaws, trying to get the sharp taste out of her mouth.

“These taste terrible,” Petalkit muttered. “I hate them.”

“I’ll be sure to bring your feedback up to the other medicine cats at the next half-moon meeting,” Echosnout mewed. 

“Do I have to stay in the medicine den?” Petalkit whined.

“Unfortunately for me and Cloudpaw, yes,” Echosnout answered. “For now, at least. Once your cough’s gone, I can send you to the nursery.”

“The nursery!” Petalkit exclaimed. “But I have no mother! Or littermates!” 

“You’re big enough to eat fresh-kill,” Echosnout mewed. “I’d say you’re big enough to have your own nest. Eeltail and her kit will keep you company.”

Petalkit huffed. She tried to growl angrily, but her throat burned and it came out as several coughs. 

“Here,” Echosnout pushed a large, flat leaf towards the kit. On the leaf was a dollop of some kind of sticky, golden substance that Petalkit didn’t recognize.

“More herbs?” Petalkit whined. Echosnout’s whiskers twitched, and she pushed the leaf closer.

“It’s honey. It’ll soothe your sore throat.” 

Petalkit glared at the honey.

“I don’t wanna eat it,” she muttered. 

“There’s a lot of things in your life you won’t want to do,” Echosnout mewed. “Better learn to suck it up and do them anyways. You won’t get very far otherwise.” 

Grumpily, Petalkit leaned forward and lapped at the dollop of honey on the leaf. To her surprise, it wasn’t bitter or tangy like the leaves she’d already choked down. It tasted strange, but not bad. She smacked her lips together a few times, trying to identify the flavor.

“Where do you find that?” Petalkit asked. “I want more.” 

“From beehives,” Echosnout snorted. “You’re welcome to go and find some, if you don’t mind getting stung.”

“You stuck your paws in a beehive?” Petalkit’s eyes opened wide. “Did the bee stings hurt?”

“I ‘unno,” Echosnout mewed, a hint of humor in her voice. “Better ask Cloudpaw.”

Petalkit licked her lips a few more times. Some of the honey was stuck in her muzzle fur, and it was sticky. Echosnout was right, the honey had seemed to coat the inside of her throat, and she already felt less like coughing. The poppy seeds must have been working, because she was starting to feel exhaustion creep into her paws.

“Can I go out of the medicine den tomorrow?” Petalkit asked. 

“We’ll see,” Echosnout mewed, her tone noncommittal. “It’s more important you get your strength back than you go socializing.”

“But I wanna meet my dad,” Petalkit mumbled. “My mama Mapleshade said he’s here.” 

“He can come see you in the medicine den, then,” Echosnout mewed curtly. 

“Can you make him come see me?” Petalkit asked. The grizzled medicine cat flicked her tail, not making eye contact with Petalkit. The only words of comfort Echosnout had to offer were a repeat of what she’d already said.

“We’ll see.”

Chapter Text

Petalkit blinked in the bright morning light of RiverClan camp. She finally felt steady on her paws again, and the light wasn’t so shocking to her anymore. Her chest ache had weakened in the last few sunrises, and Echosnout finally let her venture out of the medicine den. Though nobody had come to see her aside from Cloudpaw, who also slept in the medicine den, Petalkit was more excited than ever to be out and stretching her legs. The camp was huge!

But not quite as big as ThunderClan’s, Petalkit reminded herself. She’d never let herself be impressed by the work of a bunch of fish-eating otter wannabes!

 The camp was a clearing near the river, surrounded on almost all sides by reeds and cattails. The ground was a mixture of soft grass and slightly damp soil, stretching down to the pebbly bank of the river, which acted as a camp barrier in lieu of the reeds. An enormous old willow tree with long, hanging branches grew in one corner of the clearing, a woven curtain of foliage covering an entrance to a den of some kind. The other dens were in hollowed out logs and woven from reeds, and to Petalkit’s surprise, many of them were decorated with feathers, shells, and other shiny objects she couldn’t identify.

Riverclan is so weird!

Petalkit’s gaze fell to a den woven from sedge and willow branches, where a stocky black she-cat was being followed by a fat, dark gray tabby kit.

“Play with me!” the kit whined, bounding after the larger she-cat. 

“I can’t,” she mumbled. The dark she-cat was averting her gaze from the kit, her ears flattened and her tail held low to the ground. 

“You never have time to play!” the kit continued, stamping a paw. “It’s so stupid! Why can’t you live in the nursery with me!” 

As the kit continued protesting, an elegant silver tabby she-cat poked her head out of the den, which Petalkit figured must be the nursery.

“Perchkit,” she mewed gently. “Come back inside. Darkstar is very busy.”

Dark star ? Petalkit thought disdainfully. That’s their leader?

Darkstar didn’t reply. She stood frozen in place, staring at the ground, her tail dragging in the soft grass.

“No!” Perchkit protested. “Darkstar should be in the nursery with me! I want to play with her! Make her stay, Eeltail!”

Eeltail, the silver tabby, gave a mrrow of laughter, bending forward to lick Perchkit’s head.

“Darkstar is my leader,” she mewed. “I can’t make her do anything.”

Petalkit watched as Perchkit continued whining. Eeltail, having successfully distracted him, gave a nod to Darkstar. The leader had been very quiet for the whole interaction, and she looked nervous. Uncomfortable, even.

That’s not how a leader should act, Petalkit thought, flicking her tail. Darkstar turned away from Eeltail as the silver tabby ushered Perchkit back into the nursery. The leader walked with her head and tail down, staring at the ground with unfocused eyes. She approached the den in the old willow tree, and before she disappeared behind the curtain, a light gray tom with unkept fur padded up to her. He murmured something in her ear, too quiet for Petalkit to discern. His expression looked concerned. Darkstar nodded distractedly, not looking at the tom, before pushing into her den. 

Petalkit found Darkstar’s behavior baffling. Oakstar, the leader of ThunderClan, had been very commanding and scary. Even when Oakstar thought Petalkit was his kin, and he had treated her kindly, the huge brown tom had frightened her! Then, she and her littermates and the rest of ThunderClan found out that her mother lied about who their father was, and he got even more scary.

Oh, Petalkit thought, her heart sinking as she remembered what happened to her mother and littermates. My father is from RiverClan.

Then, she brightened up.

That means he must be somewhere in camp!

She momentarily wondered why he hadn’t come to see her. Perhaps he didn’t know she was here. Or maybe he was dying to meet her, but mean old Echosnout had kept him away! She looked around the camp, studying the other cats milling about. The gray tom with unkempt fur was sitting by Darkstar’s den, washing his face. 

He must be the deputy! Petalkit thought. Could he be my father? What if my father is the deputy? That would be awesome!

But the more she studied the tom, the less likely it felt. He was small, for a RiverClan cat at least, and Petalkit and both her littermates had always been large kits. Her dad had to be big and strong like them, and like her mother Mapleshade! Plus, the tom’s fur was so spiky, and none of her siblings had gray or spiky fur.

A yelp from the direction of the nursery caught Petalkit’s attention. A fluffy pale gray tom jumped away from the nursery, his fur bristling and his eyes wide. Perchkit was at the opening to the nursery, letting out loud mrrows of laughter.

Could he be my father? Petalkit thought. He looks big and strong… 

“Perchkit!” Eeltail poked her head out from the nursery, scolding the dark tabby kit. “What did you do?”

“The l-little w-weasel jumped out and bit my tail while I was walking by!” the tom stuttered anxiously. 

“Did not!” Perchkit whined. “I didn’ even know you were walking by, Splashfoot! You just got in my way, I was going after a butterfly!”

“Perchkit, say you’re sorry to Splashfoot,” Eeltail mewed sternly. When Perchkit turned his nose up at her, Eeltail just gave Splashfoot an apologetic look.

“Sorry, Splashfoot,” she mewed. “He’s such a pawful these days…”

“Well g-get a better grip on him!” Splashfoot mewed. “He frightened me half to StarClan!”

What a scaredy-mouse! Petalkit wrinkled her nose. She decided that she didn’t want Splashfoot to be her father. 

“Come along, Perchkit,” Eeltail tried ushering Perchkit back into the nursery again, but he stamped his paw.

“No! I don’t want to go to the nursery!” he whined. “I want to stay out here and play!”

“You can come out and play when you learn to be nice to your clanmates,” Eeltail told him.

“You can’t tell me what to do!” Perchkit spat angrily. “You’re not even my mother! I hate the nursery! It’s so boring!” 

Eeltail opened her mouth to respond, but Perchkit had already began racing away from her. Petalkit blinked in curiosity as his gaze met hers, and he skidded to a halt not far from her.

“Hey!” Perchkit mewed loudly. “Who are you?”

“I’m Petalkit,” Petalkit replied. She didn’t like how noisy Perchkit was being. The dark tabby tom gave her a sniff, and then wrinkled his noise, recoiling from her.

“ Yuck! You smell terrible!” He hissed. Petalkit flattened her ears defensively.

“You smell yucky too!” she mewed back. “Like fish!”

She didn’t actually know what fish smelled like, but since RiverClan were known for eating fish, the stench clinging to all their pelts must be fishy in some way.

“Whatever, mouse-brain,” Perchkit scuffed a paw on the ground angrily. “I bet you’ve never even had fish before, ‘cause you’re a no-good stinky ThunderClan c-”

“ Perchkit !”

Eeltail approached the two kits from behind. Perchkit whirled around to face her defiantly, lashing his fluffy tail.

“Eeltail! There’s an intruder in our camp! I’m driving her away!” Perchkit growled.

“Are not!” Petalkit replied. “I’m not going anywhere!” 

She didn’t like RiverClan camp, and would much rather be back in ThunderClan, but Petalkit didn’t want this noisy kit telling her what to do!

“Petalkit isn’t an intruder,” Eeltail mewed gently. Petalkit pricked her ears.

“How do you know my name?” Petalkit asked. Eeltail purred in amusement.

“You’ve been quite the talk of the camp this morning,” the she-cat mewed. “Many cats are very excited to meet you!”

Excitement flashed in Petalkit’s belly.

“Like my father?” she bounced on her paws. To her surprise, though, Eeltail’s expression fell when Petalkit mentioned her father.

“Er, well…” Eeltail began.

“Is he here? Can I see him?” Petalkit asked.

“Now, Petalkit, there’s something you should-” Eeltail fumbled her words awkwardly. “He’s not… he’s, um, well…”

Before Eeltail could find a way to explain whatever she wanted to say, a rustling at the entrance to camp caught Petalkit’s attention. She turned to see a large, stocky, well-muscled tom nosing his way through the reed tunnel, holding a fish of some kind in his jaws. Petalkit felt a shudder passing through her body when she realized the light brown of his coat was nearly identical to hers. Without even thinking, she shoved past Perchkit and Eeltail and raced over to the huge tom. She’d seen him once before! One of her dimmest memories - Petalkit remembered Mapleshade taking her on a walk to the river, where she’d had a discussion with a RiverClan cat. She was almost certain that cat had been the tom standing in front of her.

“Are you my father?” Petalkit squeaked, skidding to a stop and bouncing on her paws excitedly, looking up at him. The tom looked down at her with sharp green eyes. He raised an eyebrow, staring at her for a moment before walking around Petalkit, making for the fresh-kill pile. 

“Hey!” Petalkit bounded after him. “Wait up!! You didn’t answer my question!”

The large tom leaned down, dropping the fish on the fresh-kill pile before swiping his tongue around his jaws, turning to face Petalkit. She was confused that he seemed to show so little emotion. 

“Who are you?” he asked boredly, flicking an ear.

“I’m Petalkit!” Petalkit squeaked, puffing out her chest. “Eeltail says I’m the talk of the camp, and lots of cats want to meet me!” 

“Hm. Good for you,” the large tom replied, his tone flat. Petalkit stared at him for a few moments longer, eagerly waiting for him to continue, but he said nothing, He stood up and walked towards the Warriors’ den, his gaze cast on a dark ginger she-cat. Petalkit felt a stab of disappointment, but bounded after him anyways. When she caught up with him, he was talking to the dark ginger she-cat.

“-Just listen to me, Reedshine,” the large tom no longer sounded bored, but slightly desperate. “I promise, I swear by StarClan, what I said to her, I didn’t mean it, I-”

However, Petalkit noticed, the she-cat called Reedshine was staring straight through him, not responding or reacting to anything he was saying. Her tail tip flicking in irritation was the only hint that she even saw him standing in front of her.

“HEY!” Petalkit mewed as loud as she could without hurting her throat. She interrupted the large tom, who whipped around to face her. Reedshine also seemed surprised, blinking at the kit curiously. “You didn’t answer my question!” 

The large tom seemed more dumbfounded than anything, unable to conjure a response. Reedshine then leaned forward, finally speaking. 

“Well, Appledusk,” she mewed dryly. “What could this kit possibly have asked you about?”

“Appledusk!” Petalkit mewed. “That’s your name!” 

“It is,” Appledusk mewed matter-of-factly. 

“Did you see we have the same coat colors?” Petalkit asked. 

Appledusk made a noncommittal grunt. He turned back to Reedshine and opened his mouth to continue whatever he was saying before Petalkit arrived. 

“I think it’s nice you have matching pelts,” Reedshine interrupted him. “Father and daughter.”

Petalkit’s eyes lit up. 

“You are my father!” she mewed excitedly. “I knew it! Your fur is almost the same as mine! And I remember you seeing Mapleshade at the river that one time, and-”

As Petalkit rambled, she noticed Appledusk looked increasingly uncomfortable as other cats in the camp eyed them curiously. Reedshine watched him, her expression bordering on amusement, for reasons Petalkit couldn’t fathom.

“She isn’t my daughter,” Appledusk mumbled.

“Yes I am!” Petalkit mewed. “We look so similar! And you met with my mama Mapleshade-”

“I am not mates with Mapleshade,” Appledusk suddenly rounded on Petalkit, fury in his eyes. He bared his fangs, causing Petalkit to jump back in alarm, cowering from the larger cat’s anger. “She is a lowly, ThunderClan, fox-hearted traitor who murders kits. And you are not my daughter. Got it?”

Petalkit was too frightened to respond, as Appledusk shoved roughly past Reedshine into the Warriors’ den. The dark ginger she-cat glowered at him for a moment, flicking her tail.

“Are you friends with him?” Petalkit asked meekly, half-scared she would become angry the way Appledusk had.

“Nuh uh,” Perchkit’s voice came from behind Petalkit. “They were mates, until Appledusk broke the code and made you.” 

“Hello, Perchkit,” Reedshine mewed. “You’re awfully far from the nursery.” 

“Well so is Petalkit!” Perchkit huffed. 

“I don’t live in the nursery, mouse-brain,” Petalkit hissed back. “I live in the medicine den. You should’ve noticed that. You’re so loud and annoying!” 

Perchkit bristled his fur, wriggling his haunches like he was about to pounce. However, he was interrupted by the approach of Eeltail.

“Perchkit!” the silver tabby mewed exasperatedly. “I’ve told you, you’re in time-out until sundown for biting Splashfoot’s tail!” 

Eeltail scruffed Perchkit, though he was clearly getting a little too old for that, because his hind legs dragged on the ground as Eeltail gave a friendly nod to Reedshine. Perchkit didn’t try to get away, but he grumbled in protest as Eeltail hauled him back towards the nursery.

“Appledusk and I aren’t friends,” Reedshine mewed once they had gone.

“Hey! You answered my question!” Petalkit mewed, perking her ears up. “Is Appledusk really my father?”

Reedshine looked sad for a moment. 

“Yes,” she mewed. 

“Oh,” Petalkit replied. “He didn’t seem very excited to see me.”

Reedshine made a small noise of agreement. 

“Is what he said about my mama right?” Petalkit asked anxiously. “Does she really murder kits?”

The dark ginger she-cat shook her head sadly.

“No,” she mewed. “What happened to your littermates - it was a horrible accident. It wasn’t any cat’s fault.”

“I wish they could still be here,” Petalkit mumbled. “It’s not fair.” 

Reedshine shifted on her paws uncomfortably. 

“Maybe you should go back to the medicine den,” the she-cat told her. “Echosnout will probably want to take a look at you.” 

Petalkit flattened her ears in displeasure.

“I hate the medicine den! Echosnout is so bossy!” she mewed. 

“You sound like Perchkit with all that whining,” Reedshine remarked. 

“I do not!” Petalkit defended herself. “He’s annoying and mouse-brained! And he doesn’t have an old medicine cat bossing him around!”

To Petalkit’s surprise, Reedshine gave the faintest purr of amusement.

“Echosnout isn’t actually that old,” Reedshine mewed. “She was just a ‘paw when I was a kit. And she’s always been cranky. She never played with me, or any of my denmates.”

“But she has gray furs all over her!” Petalkit tipped her head to one side.

“She started graying a bit young,” Reedshine looked thoughtful. “No cat really know why. Must be that scatterbrained apprentice of hers. Though, Cloudpaw’s hardly apprentice-age anymore, even for a medicine cat…” 

Petalkit began to space out, growing somewhat bored of the older she-cat’s chatter. She’d just started to get familiar with all the cats in ThunderClan! Now she had to learn an entirely new Clan full of cats. It felt like too many new names.

I wish I could go back to ThunderClan. 

As Petalkit was moping, a group of apprentices bounded by her.  All three were carrying some kind of moss or fresh-kill in their jaws. One of them caught a glimpse of Petalkit and skidded to a stop, followed shortly by the others.

“Look,” a fat gray tabby tom muttered to the cat standing next to him. He had un-subtly angled his ears towards Petalkit.

“Who is that?” the other apprentice mewed around a bundle of moss. He was a pale brown tabby tom with long, shaggy fur and crimped whiskers.

“She looks almost apprentice aged,” the gray tabby replied. “Isn’t Eeltail the only queen in the nursery? I thought she just had Perchkit.”

“Everyone knows Eeltail isn’t a real queen, Troutpaw,” the shaggy tom muttered quietly.

“Tanglepaw!” Troutpaw gasped, dropping the fish he was carrying, his eyes wide. “Don’t say that! Eeltail looked after all of us when we were kits!”

Tanglepaw didn’t respond, he just flicked his tail irritably.

“Maybe this one’s been hiding in there the whole time, like a ‘fraidy mouse,” the third apprentice, a short-furred gray she-cat, added. 

“I’m Petalkit!” Petalkit finally squeaked at them, trying to look as big as she could. “Who are you?”

“Oh, look, it’s got an attitude!” the gray she-cat sneered. “Funny!”

“Shuddup, Birdpaw,” Troutpaw shouldered Birdpaw roughly. “She’s just a kit.”

“So?” Birdpaw lowered her head, putting her fresh-kill on the ground. Playfully, she cuffed her fellow apprentice over the head. “We’re apprentices, Troutpaw! She oughta show us a little respect!” 

Petalkit’s tail drooped. These RiverClan apprentices didn’t seem very nice. They were all staring at her, with some mix of curiosity and disdain.

Reedshine cleared her throat, and Birdpaw jumped.

“You three have somewhere to be, no?” Reedshine asked. Birdpaw and the other apprentices shuffled their paws nervously.

“Spiketail told us to take bedding ‘n fresh kill to the elders,” Birdpaw muttered. “They’re not goin’ anywhere, though.” 

Reedshine gave the apprentices a hard stare.

“You three should hurry along, then,” she mewed. “You know Blackbee gets cranky when she’s hungry.”

Birdpaw bent down to pick up the fresh-kill, muttering something grumpily. She flicked her tail to the two other apprentices, who followed suit, and they continued in the direction of what must be the Elders’ den. Petalkit noticed Reedshine watching them go, her eyes glinting.

“That was Birdpaw, Tanglepaw, and Troutpaw,” Reedshine told Petalkit. “Birdpaw’s due to be a warrior soon, so she’s gotten a bit of an ego about it.” 

Petalkit believed it, not just because of how mean Birdpaw was; despite being skinnier than her fellow apprentices, she was taller than them as well. 

“I still have two moons ‘till I’m an apprentice,” Petalkit mewed. “At least, that’s what I think.”

“How old are you?” Reedshine tipped her head to the side. “You look big and strong enough to be an apprentice .”

“Four moons,” Petalkit puffed her chest out. 

“Yes, then you’d have two moons left,” Reedshine nodded. “Is there any cat you’d like to be your mentor?” 

Petalkit blinked at Reedshine as she digested the question. Sadness filled her chest, and she lowered her head, staring at the ground.

“I don’t really know anyone,” Petalkit mumbled. “Back when I was in ThunderClan, I wanted my mama Mapleshade to be my mentor, ‘cause she was so big and strong. But I think Oakstar was gonna give Patchkit to her, ‘cause he was so shy, he wouldn’t talk to anyone besides Mapleshade.” 

“Oh,” Reedshine mewed quietly. She tensed up a bit at the mention of Mapleshade, but Petalkit wasn’t sure why.

“Petalkit!” Echosnout’s mew rang across the clearing. 

“Awww, mouse-dung,” Petalkit mumbled. The black-and-white she-cat was walking stiffly towards her and Reedshine, flicking her tail irritably. 

“I said you could walk around,” Echosnout mewed tersely. “Not that you could spend the whole morning out here, gossiping like an elder.” 

“I was gonna come back soon,” Petalkit lied. Echosnout snorted in disbelief.

“Go easy on her, Echosnout,” Reedshine mewed. “She’s lost her family.”

Petalkit flattened her ears. 

I don’t need to be coddled!

“Don’t tell me how to do my job, Reedshine,” Echosnout snapped. Reedshine rolled her eyes at the cranky medicine cat, but didn’t protest. Echosnout then turned sharply to face Petalkit. “You. Medicine den. Now.” 

Petalkit huffed, but knew better than to argue with Echosnout. She stomped after the medicine cat grumpily, back towards the medicine den on the opposite side of camp. She stole a glance over her shoulder at Reedshine as she walked, and to her surprise, the dark ginger she-cat stood up and raised her tail, waving it in a friendly goodbye to the young kit.

Chapter Text

“Are you sure you’re not too busy for this?” Reedshine asked, glancing in Petalkit’s direction. 

“Eeltail is taking Petalkit to the river today,” Echosnout had her paws resting gently on Reedshine’s side, sniffing over the she-cat for signs of illness. “And besides, I’m no kitsitter. Do you have any particular pains?”

“No, I just feel a bit queasy,” Reedshine replied.

“Why do I gotta go to the river?” Petalkit interrupted. She padded over to Echosnout and Reedshine, giving Reedshine a few sniffs.

“Why do cats go on patrol?” Echosnout shot back. “I think it’s pretty obvious. Now back off. You’re not a medicine cat.” 

Petalkit took a few steps away from Reedshine. After a few moments, Echosnout lifted her paws off Reedshine’s belly, and the dark ginger she-cat stood up.

“I can’t tell if anything specific is amiss, but it’s better to be safe than sorry," Echosnout mewed. Take it easy today, and come back to me tomorrow so I can look you over again.”

Reedshine nodded to the medicine cat. 

“Why’re you here?” Petalkit asked Reedshine. The she-cat looked at her curiously, before purring in amusement. 

“Petalkit, don’t be so nosy,” Echosnout warned her. “That’s medicine cat business.” 

“Just a bit of  bellyache,” Reedshine mewed. “I’ll be heading back to the warriors’ den now. Thank you, Echosnout.” 

Petalkit watched Reedshine leave, and then turned back to Echosnout.

“Why am I going to the river?” she mewed insistently. The thought of returning to the watery flow made her belly prickle with unease.

“I told you, it’s pretty obvious,” Echosnout flicked an ear. Petalkit didn’t follow, merely tipping her head to one side. Echosnout rolled her eyes.

“You’ve got to learn to swim, kit,” she finally mewed. Petalkit’s eyes went wide.

“WHAT?!” she demanded. “Why?!” 

“So you don’t fall into the river and drown ,” Echosnout snapped. 

“But I can’t swim,” Petalkit mewed in protest. “I’m from ThunderClan!”

“You’ve got legs and you can use ‘em,” Echosnout mewed gruffly. “That means you can swim.”

“But swimming is for RiverClan cats!” Petalkit whined. 

“Newsflash, kit,” Echosnout mewed. “That now includes you. Eeltail is waiting, so you’d better get a move on.” 

Petalkit stamped a paw. She really didn’t want to go back to the river. But Echosnout was having no more of her protests, the grizzled medicine cat now turning to reorganize her herb stores. Hanging her head grumpily, Petalkit stalked out of the medicine den, crossing the camp to the nursery, where Eeltail was giving Perchkit a wash.

“Geddoff, Eeltail!” Perchit tried to bat the silver tabby away. “M’just gonna get wet anyways!”

“The water can’t get all the dust and dirt that’s lodged deep in your fur,” Eeltail cooed back. She had to work hard to groom the fluffy kit, his thick fur insulating his fat body. 

“Hey!” Perchkit noticed Petalkit approaching. “What’s she doing here?!” 

“I’m going to the river with you,” Petalkit muttered. “So I can learn to swim, or whatever…”

“But ThunderClan cats can’t swim!” Perchkit wrinkled his nose. “Isn’t that true, Eeltail?”

Eeltail paused in her grooming.

“No cat is born knowing how to swim, Perchkit,” she mewed. “You had to learn too, remember?”

“But that was aaaaages ago,” Perchkit rolled his eyes. “She’s too old to learn how to swim!”

“But your medicine cats are both so old,” Petalkit defended herself. “Maybe you’re the weirdo, for learning to swim when you were so young!”

“Nuh uh! Every kit knows how to swim by the time they’re two moons old!” Perchkit retorted.

“Kits, please,” Eeltail interrupted their argument. “No bickering, okay?” 

“Whatever,” Perchkit replied. “I still think she’s going to be a lousy swimmer.”

Petalkit felt a surge of indignation. She silently swore to herself, she would be the best swimmer ever, just so she could rub it in Perchkit’s stupid face. 

“Perchkit!” Eelkit gave him a stern look. “You need to behave yourself today, or I’ll have to have a word with Darkstar.”

Petalkit gasped. In trouble with the leader!

Perchkit seemed unaffected, however.

“Whatever,” he mumbled. “Maybe then she’d finally talk to me.”

“You think the leader wants to talk to a kit?” Petalkit wrinkled her nose. “She’s got better things to do!” 

“Nuh uh! She’s my mother!” Perchkit bristled at Petalkit. Petalkit blinked, somewhat taken aback.

There’s no way Darkstar is his mother! Petalkit thought to herself. She doesn’t like him at all! She could barely even look at him! Even if she's the leader, a mother would still make time for her kit!

“Enough, Perchkit,” Eeltail mewed somewhat firmly. She began nudging the two kits towards the camp exit with her nose. “We’re going to the Shallows now.” 

The two kits padded across the clearing, following Eeltail out of camp. Petalkit shivered in anticipation. She couldn’t help but be excited to be seeing some of RiverClan’s territory, even if it was nowhere near as good as ThunderClan’s. They strolled through some dense reed beds, soft damp ground underpaw. The sun was just beginning its climb into a pale blue sky, dotted with several clouds. Eeltail raised her nose, giving a sniff.

“The weather should be good today,” she mewed. “Not too cold. Good weather for swimming.”

Petalkit stopped and raised her nose as well, but whatever indications Eeltail got on the weather were lost on her. Perchkit bumped into her from behind.

“Keep moving, ThunderClan!” the kit barked at her. Petalkit swiveled her head around, flattening her ears. She was about to reply when Eeltail interrupted.

“Perchkit, Petalkit,” Eeltail called to them from up ahead. “Let’s keep moving? I'd like to reach the Shallows before Greenleaf.”

The two kits grumbled as they trudged onwards. Finally, they arrived at the Shallows; a wide section of the river, where the water moved so slowly it almost seemed to stand still. Petalkit could see the pebbly bank transition into a sandy riverbed, the water so clear that minnows darting about for food were easily visible. True to the location's name, there was a sizable section of shallow water, almost as big as the clearing of RiverClan's camp. The center of the river, so many fox-lengths away, was a deep emerald green. The damp smell of the river, the sound of rapids chattering shortly downstream…

Petalkit felt her desire to one-up Perchkit at swimming quickly drain away. She stood firmly still. 

“Woohoo!” Perchkit whooped, charging forward, zooming past Eeltail and plunging into the Shallows without reservation. He frolicked around in the water, up to his belly in the weak current, sending droplets flying that glinted in the morning sun.

“Perchkit, not too far!” Eeltail warned him. Perchkit didn’t give any indication he heard the queen, and continued prancing about. He stopped and crouched down, wriggling his rump. He pounced forward, sending up a splash of water. Petalkit backed away, avoiding the droplets.

“Mouse dung!” Perchkit cursed. “I was one whisker away from catching a minnow!” 

“Keep trying, Perchkit,” Eeltail purred in amusement. “You’ll get one eventually. Try pouncing sooner!” 

As Perchkit returned to his hunting, Eeltail padded over to a low, flat rock sticking out into a slightly deeper section of the water. With a contended sigh, the tabby queen laid down on her side, her legs spread out on the sun-drenched rock. She raised her head, closing her eyes and drinking in the warm sunlight. Petalkit stayed on the beach, watching Perchkit play in the water.

Soon enough, Petalkit heard the rustling of reeds, turning around to see the dark ginger pelt of Reedshine. The warrior was pushing her way into the clearing, silently gazing around until her eyes fell on Petalkit. Reedshine gave her a nod, before padding towards the rock where Eeltail was stretched out.

“Hello, Reedshine!” Eeltail greeted her clanmate. “What brings you to the Shallows?” 

“I woke up feeling a bit sick, so Echosnout told me to not over-exert myself today,” Reedshine replied. “I’m on the dusk patrol, which isn’t until sundown. So a nice nap on the rock at the Shallows sounded perfect. I didn’t realize you’d also be here with the kits!”

Eeltail purred in amusement.

“I’ve got to be teaching Petalkit how to swim,” the tabby mewed. “But oh, this warm rock is so comfortable, and we haven’t got anywhere to be. And it’s finally sunny, after so many days of rain! Your idea for a nap sounds wonderful. It won’t hurt to let the kits play for a while. Especially Perchkit, he needs to burn off the energy. Join me, Reedshine?” 

Reedshine turned back to Petalkit when Eeltail mentioned her. Petalkit averted her gaze, pretending to watch Perchkit paddle around in the water.

“I can teach Petalkit,” Reedshine offered. “You keep relaxing.” 

“Really?” Eeltail sounded surprised. She then dropped her voice, so that Petalkit could barely hear her. “You don’t… you’re okay with- I mean, she’s the daughter of-”

“I know,” Reedshine cut the queen off. “It’ll be fine. Just take your nap, okay?”

Petalkit pretended she hadn’t been eavesdropping as Reedshine padded across the pebbly beach towards her. The dark ginger warrior sat down next to her, following her gaze out onto the river.

“Perchkit looks like he’s having a good time,” Reedshine remarked. Petalkit shrugged.

“Well he’sa RiverClan cat,” Petalkit mumbled. “It seems pretty easy for him.”

“You’re a RiverClan cat too,” Reedshine mewed. Petalkit flattened her ears.

“No! I’m from ThunderClan! I’m not a fish eater, and I don’t wanna swim!!” Petalkit protested. She sat down, planting her rump firmly on the pebbly beach. “I’m not going in the water.”

“Oh?” Reedshine asked, flicking her tail.

“Yeah,” Petalkit mewed. “Swimming is for nasty, no-good fish-eaters. A-and I won’t do it!”

She tried to ignore the uncomfortable squirming in her belly as she looked at the river. It looked so calm, but Petalkit felt apprehension at the idea of letting her paws get wet. 

“Okay then,” Reedshine shrugged. “Suppose you’ll just hunt squirrels, hm?”

“Exactly!” Petalkit tried to hide her surprise that the older warrior had agreed with her. “And then ThunderClan will see how awesome I am. And they’ll take me back! And let Mapleshade be my mentor!” 

Reedshine nodded tersely. Before she could reply, Petalkit heard the sound of more cats crashing through the undergrowth. Birdpaw, Tanglepaw, and Troutpaw all stampeded onto the beach, yowling with joy and sending pebbles flying as they eagerly leapt into the water like Perchkit had. 

“Hey!” Perchkit hissed at the apprentices. “You’re intruding on my hunting grounds!”

Birdpaw sneered at the tabby kit.

“Aww, what’re you gonna do ‘bout it?” she teased. “Call your mama Darkstar?” 

Perchkit fluffed his sodden pelt up angrily. Tanglepaw snickered at Birdpaw’s comments, but Troutpaw looked uncomfortable.

“C’mon, Birdpaw,” Troutpaw mewed. “Let’s just get back to our game.”

“What game is it?” Perchkit interrupted.

“Not a game for stupid, noisy kits,” Birdpaw shot back. 

“I wanna play!” Perchkit stamped a paw, sending speckles of water flying. “Let me play with you!” 

“You don’t even know what we’re playing!” Tanglepaw mewed. 

“So what!” Perchkit continued to protest. “Let me play! I’m almost an apprentice! I should get to play with you!” 

The three apprentices glanced nervously back towards where Reedshine sat next to Petalkit. The warrior said nothing, but had a stern glint to her eyes. Then, they glanced towards Eeltail, dozing on the flat rock.

“Fine,” muttered Birdpaw. “I guess you can play with us.”

Perchkit jumped up and down in excitement. Birdpaw began explaining the game, Trouts and Minnows, to Perchkit. Soon the four cats were bounding around in the river, yowling and screeching in delight as they chased and pounced on each other in the water. Petalkit noticed that once or twice, Troutpaw would subtly nudge Perchkit back towards the shore when he ventured out too far. 

“Look fun?” Reedshine nudged Petalkit. Petalkit shrugged. She remembered the games of mossball she would play with Patchkit and Larchkit, how they’d hide around camp and seek each other out. She felt her chest clench, when she thought about how she would never play those games with them again.

“It’s not fair,” Petalkit murmured. Reedshine tipped her head to the side.

“What do you mean?” the warrior asked.

“I wish I could play with Patchkit and Larchkit,” Petalkit mewed. “In the forest. Where it’s dry, a-and I don’t have go in the water.”

“Are you scared of the water?” Reedshine asked. Petalkit fluffed up her fur.

“No!’ the kit hissed. “I just don’t wanna swim!” 

“You might have fun if you play with Perchkit,” Reedshine mewed. Petalkit flattened her ears angrily, feeling hot under her pelt.

“NO!! I hate Perchkit, and I hate RiverClan! I don’t want to go in the river and I’ll NEVER swim!!” she yowled in protest. 

Petalkit realized the cats playing in the water had stopped at her outburst, and were now staring at her. Birdpaw leaned over and whispered something in Tanglepaw’s ear, and the shaggy tabby apprentice stifled a giggle. Then she noticed Perchkit, whose fur was drooping. He looked… sad. Petalkit didn’t expect that. She hung her head, staring at the pebbles beneath her paws.

“Petalkit,” Reedshine began. “You should give swimming a try. You don’t have to like it. You don’t have to play in the water. But playing might help you learn. It’s unsafe, being around the river and not knowing how to swim.”

Petalkit sniffed. 

“It’s just not fair,” she mumbled again. 

“Life isn’t fair sometimes,” Reedshine replied. “I know that as well as any cat.” 

“But it should be fair!” Petalkit stamped a paw. “Why did my mama have to go?! Why do I have to be by myself?!”

Reedshine was quiet for a very long time.

“She broke the Warrior Code,” Reedshine murmured finally.

“Then the Warrior Code is stupid! And I hate it!” Petalkit spat with all the venom she could muster. Reedshine opened her mouth, maybe to chide Petalkit for saying such a rougeish thing. But the kit didn’t stick around to listen. She turned around and stomped off, angrily kicking up pebbles as she shoved her way through the reeds.

Chapter Text

Petalkit knew that Reedshine would follow after her. Or wake Eeltail, telling the queen to fetch Echosnout from camp. Maybe, if Petalkit was in real trouble, Reedshine would get Spiketail, or even Darkstar.

But for the time being, Petalkit didn’t care. She darted through the long reeds, not quite sure where she was going, feeling the spongy, damp soil underpaw. She panted, the late morning sun warming her pelt to an uncomfortable degree. Eventually, she burst out of the reeds, finding herself again at the river’s edge. Skidding to a stop, Petalkit’s paws sent pebbles flying as she unwittingly slid a few pawsteps into the river. She gazed across the water and recognized the pile of wide, flat stones on the other side.

Sunningrocks.

Grief clawed in Petalkit’s chest. ThunderClan’s territory was so close. She could almost ignore the cold water flowing around her paws, more than halfway up her short, stocky legs. A breeze blew across the river from the forest, bringing the earthy scent of ThunderClan back to her. The squirrels, the trees, the leaf-litter covering the ground…

“Petalkit! Petalkit!” 

“Where are you, Petalkit?”

Petalkit heard the yowls of Reedshine and Eeltail, not too far away. The two she-cats were slowly drawing closer to the beach. Anxiety built in Petalkit’s belly, and she swiveled her head back and forth, frantically glancing between the river and the reed wall. 

You’ve got legs. That means you can swim.

The old Medicine Cat’s words echoed in Petalkit’s mind. She looked down at her paws, standing in the river. The water was incredibly cold, and the current here was faster than in the Shallows. But the river didn’t stretch nearly as wide. 

I still think she’s going to be a pretty lousy swimmer. 

Petalkit’s pelt spiked with irrational rage as she remembered Perchkit’s dismissal. Without thinking further, the kit launched herself forward, gasping in shock as the cold water wreathed her whole body. Her paws scrabbled at the riverbed, trying to get a foothold to push herself deeper towards the center of the river. For a few steps, she propelled herself through the current by kicking against the pebbles and sand. Then, she caught nothing, the riverbed receding away from her paws. In a jolt of panic, Petalkit flailed her legs desperately, but they caught nothing but open water. She felt the current begin to sweep her to the side, downriver from the Sunningrocks. As the river grew deeper, she sank, the cold water closing over her head. It felt… familiar.

Too familiar.

Petalkit tried to screech in fear. As soon as she opened her jaws, the water flowed into her mouth. She tried to cough it out, but more water kept coming. She’d felt this before; when her mother led her out of camp. When the swell took her littermates away. Gripped by blind terror, Petalkit thrashed her limbs, hoping to find a pawhold, but all around her was the dark, empty, freezing water. Her struggling grew more lethargic, black spots closing around the edges of her vision. She felt as though the thick, viscous honey she’d eaten in the medicine den was flowing in her veins. Her eyes began to close. But in the water around her, she glimpsed a flash of dark ginger fur. 

Patchkit? Larchkit? Petalkit could barely string the thought together as she sank into the freezing river. Have you come to take me to StarClan?

Petalkit’s back thudded against the dry, pebbly bank of the river. She vaguely felt paws pumping her chest, and she lurched upright into a sitting position, hacking up water that burned her throat and nose. She continued coughing and sputtering, the unseen paws giving her a hearty whack between the shoulders. 

“ Petalkit!” the cat sounded out of breath. Petalkit blinked, trying to get her vision straight. The sunlight felt entirely too bright and too hot, the river too loud.

“Patchkit…? Larchkit…?” Petalkit mumbled, again thinking of the flash of fur she’d seen just before blacking out.

“Petalkit, are you okay?” Petalkit finally got her eyes to focus and saw, not her siblings, but Reedshine, sopping wet, standing next to her. The dark ginger warrior was panting, her sides heaving with effort, her eyes wide and fearful.

“Reedshine?” Petalkit tilted her head to the side. “Wh… Where are Patchkit and Larchkit?”

“Petalkit, what were you doing?!” The dark ginger warrior demanded. She took a few steps away from Petalkit, shaking out her long, sodden pelt. “You’re lucky I showed up when I did! If I hadn’t-”

“-You’d be in a world of trouble,” the gruff voice of Echosnout interrupted Reedshine. “Then again, now I’ve got to deal with you, so you’re not out of the woods yet.”

As the bicolor she-cat emerged from the reeds, Petalkit’s bleary vision betrayed just enough detail that she could tell the medicine cat was furious. 

“What in StarClan’s name is wrong with you?” Echosnout snapped, stalking across the bank menacingly. The angry medicine cat seemed to carry all the rage of LionClan, and Petalkit backed away from her meekly, not realizing she was moving towards Reedshine until she bumped into the warrior’s leg. Echosnout’s tail gave a sharp flick, and Eeltail followed her sheepishly out of the reeds, a bundle of herbs clenched in her jaw. The medicine cat didn’t wait to continue her tirade.

“Jumping into the river when you never learned to swim? Newborn kits with nothing but fluff between their ears have more sense! And you!” Echosnout swung her narrow face to Reedshine, who flinched in surprise.

“This is not taking it easy! Get your soggy rump back to camp and see Cloudpaw. Quick. Now. Get up! You’re lucky I don’t claw your fur off!” Echosnout began harshly prodding Reedshine with her nose, the dark ginger warrior mumbling in confusion. Echosnout was hearing none of it, though, eventually shoving Reedshine out of the clearing and whipping around, flicking her tail to beckon Eeltail over to Petalkit.

“Echosnout?” Petalkit mewed quietly.

“You’re not going to flatter me by remembering my name,” Echosnout snapped back. “Eeltail. The herbs.”

Eeltail, still mortified, dipped her head down and placed the herb bundle on a rock. 

“Good. Now make sure that mouse-brain Reedshine gets back to camp without jumping in a bog to rescue a stuck otter.” Echosnout mewed.

Eeltail didn’t need to be told twice, she quickly turned tail and sped out of the clearing. Petalkit watched her go, somewhat dismayed that the kind queen was leaving her alone with Echosnout.

Echosnout put a paw on Petalkit’s shoulder, somewhat roughly turning her onto her side.

“Ow!” Petalkit yelped as she toppled over. “I would’ve laid down if you asked!” 

“Oh, because you just proved you’re so good at following directions,” Echosnout hissed. Though, Petalkit noticed, when she moved Petalkit’s legs out of the way so she could put her ear against the kit’s chest, she did so more gently. 

“Do you feel any dizziness?” Echosnout asked. “Shortness of breath?”

“N-No,” Petalkit stammered. “Well, a little, but not as bad as… as…”

She didn’t want to say it out loud, but Echosnout understood. The medicine cat sat back on her haunches, exhaling deeply, tipping her head back and closing her eyes.

“Petalkit,” she finally mewed, after sitting quietly for several heartbeats.

“Yes?” Petalkit asked nervously.

“You are going to give me gray hairs faster than Cloudpaw,” Echosnout muttered. Then, she turned her head to the wall of reeds. “And you. You can come out now.”

To Petalkit’s surprise, Perchkit pushed his way out of the reeds slowly. Her skin grew hot with embarrassment under her pelt.

“What’re you doing here?!” She tried to sound as righteous as she could, but her tone ended up wavering in the middle. Perchkit scuffed a paw on the ground, sending a few pebbles bouncing away. 

“S’not important,” he muttered, not making eye contact. 

“Well, you’re here,” Echosnout mewed. “My neck is too old and frail to scruff kits as big as you two. Petalkit, can you walk?”

Petalkit got to her paws. Her legs were shaky, and when she tried taking a step forward, she stumbled. Instead of hitting the ground, though, she felt another damp, soggy pelt press up against her own, steadying her. 

“Get off me!” Petalkit shoved Perchkit away. 

“You’re welcome!” Perchkit spat back. “Next time I’ll just let you fall and eat dirt!”

“Perchkit,” Echosnout snapped, Perchkit’s fur fluffing in alarm. “Watch your fluffing language.” 

Perchkit stared at Echosnout, wide-eyed, before letting out a loud bark of laughter. Petalkit was shocked at the medicine cat’s coarse tongue, but couldn’t help but giggle too.

“Don’t laugh,” Echosnout scolded. “This is serious business.”

Petalkit could see a playful gleam in the medicine cat’s eyes, though, as she began gathering the herbs on the rock. 

“Perchkit, you know the way back to camp,” Echosnout said between mouthfuls of pungent leaves. “So get going, the two of you. I’ll be after you, to make sure you don’t wander off again.”

The two kits shared a glance, before quickly averting their gazes. Perchkit started padding towards the reed wall and Petalkit followed him, matching his pace but staying a tail-length or two behind him. She occasionally felt a wobble in her gait, but overall, she wasn’t doing terribly.

“What’d you jump in the river for?” Perchkit broke the silence. Petalkit didn’t look at him. She didn’t want to admit she’d tried to cross it, without so much as a single swimming lesson.

“I didn’t jump, I fell,” Petalkit lied. To her surprise, Perchkit laughed at her.

“Yeah right! That’s what every kit who has to be pulled from the river says! But any cat knows, they just tried to swim on their own!” Perchkit mewed. Petalkit flattened her ears defensively.

“So? How would you know?!” she shot back. Perchkit stopped and turned to face her. 

“I’ve seen it!” he protested, suddenly nervous. “Birdpaw had to be pulled out of rapids by Rainfall once!”

“You weren’t even born when Birdpaw was a kit!” Petalkit countered. 

“So?” Perchkit asked.

“I think you tried to swim by yourself too!” Petalkit blurted out. Perchkit fluffed up his fur angrily.

“Nuh uh!”

“Yeah huh!” 

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

Perchkit puffed his cheeks out, giving Petalkit a long, hard stare. 

“And so what if I did?” he finally relented. He turned and swished his tail, continuing in the direction of camp. Petalkit broke into a trot, coming up on his right side.

“Why did you try and swim even if you didn’t know how?” Petalkit prodded him. Perchkit snorted.

“Why were you trying to swim, hm?” He eyed her suspiciously. Petalkit rolled her eyes, keeping pace with him.

“For your information, I wanted to get back home,” Petalkit huffed. “To ThunderClan.” 

“Then you finally had a good idea!” Perchkit mocked her. “Too bad you’re totally lousy at swimming!” 

“What does that matter?” Petalkit defended herself. “Can you climb a tree?”

“Why would I need to climb a tree?” Perchkit wrinkled his nose. “You ThunderClan cats are so weird!” 

“Are not!” Petalkit replied. “It’s weird for cats to swim! Not even ShadowClan or WindClan can swim! Shadowclan, Perchkit! And they’re seriously weird!” 

“I heard they eat frogs!” Perchkit laughed boisterously. “And other gross stuff! Like lizards, and twoleg trash!”

“And WindClan apprentices!” Petalkit found her tone lightening at Perchkit’s laughter. “Nettlepaw was telling me about this one WindClan apprentice, Marshpaw! He got bit by an adder on his very first patrol, while trespassing on ShadowClan territory. Nettlepaw says that mean old fox Snakestar dragged him all the way back to ShadowClan’s camp and the warriors gobbled him right up!” 

“No way!” Perchkit’s eyes were wide. 

“Yes way!” Petalkit insisted. “My mama Mapleshade said that’s why we can’t wander out of camp, ‘cause ShadowClan warriors love to eat naughty kits!” 

“Wow…” Perchkit breathed. Then, nervously, he looked around. “...we better get back to camp, then!”

“Are you worried Snakestar and his warriors will eat us?” Petalkit teased.

“No!” Perchkit protested. “I don’t wanna get in trouble, okay?” 

“Okay…” Petalpaw eyed him, not entirely convinced. Then, suddenly, Perchpaw wriggled his rump.

“I’ll race you back!” He took off sprinting through the reeds, the foliage rustling where he vanished.

“Hey! No fair!” Petalkit cried out, chasing after him. “I don’t even know how to get to camp!” 

She tore after Perchkit through the reeds, hearing him laugh maniacally somewhere ahead of her. She tried to keep up, but between her dizziness from the river and not knowing the territory, she eventually petered out to a slow trot, and then stood still, panting. Perchkit’s voice faded away, and Petalkit frowned. She couldn’t keep up with him, but she could still outwit him… ThunderClan style!

 She put her nose to the ground, sniffing for Perchkit’s scent. She wasn’t that great at tracking, especially not compared to esteemed warriors like Frecklewish or Deerdapple, but all ThunderClan cats knew how to sniff out a hiding Clanmate, even the tiniest kits. She followed Perchkit’s damp, fishy scent through the dense reeds, until she rounded a corner and bumped her nose right into his paw. 

“What the-?! How did you find me?!” Perchkit exclaimed. He’d been sheltering behind a large rock.

“Any ThunderClan cat worth their pelt can track down a Clanmate!” Petalkit declared. “And your stinky, fishy smell was easy to find.”

Perchkit fluffed out his fur.

“Why you no-good, cheating, ThunderClan c-”

“ You two!” 

Perchkit’s insult was cut off by Echosnout poking her head through the reeds. The medicine cat’s good humors seemed to have vanished once again. She had her ears flattened back and her teeth bared in a snarl.

“Where have you been? I told you to go straight back to camp!” Echosnout snapped.

Petalkit shrunk back in fear. Perchkit, however, stepped forward.

“What’re you gonna do?” he mewed tauntingly. “It’s not like you can hurt us. You’re just a stinky old Medicine Cat!”

Echosnout flared her nostrils in rage. She strode forward and then firmly scruffed Perchkit. He tried to wriggle, but Echosnout must have gotten him perfectly, because he fell limp in her grip, reduced to simply growling. Echosnout then flicked her tail for Petalkit to follow her, and Petalkit hung her head, trailing after the medicine cat as she dragged Perchkit roughly back towards camp. 

Echosnout carrying Perchkit is kind of funny, Petalkit thought to herself. She was pretty sure Perchkit was older than herself… He was almost apprentice aged, and definitely way too big to be getting scruffed. His hindquarters, back legs, and tail dragged on the ground as Echosnout grunted with effort and muttered angrily to herself around his dense neck fur, being forced to heave with great effort to drag along the kit who was almost her size. 

Petalkit’s giggling to herself didn’t last long, because as she followed Echosnout through the reed wall protecting RiverClan camp, she saw a sleek black figure sitting in the clearing, tail wrapped around her paws. When the reeds rustled, the stout she-cat’s head snapped towards the makeshift patrol, her icy blue eyes narrowing dangerously.

Oh no. 

Petalkit’s belly dropped like a stone.

 Darkstar was waiting in the middle of camp.

Chapter Text

“What. Did. You. Do.”

To Petalkit’s surprise, the leader’s eyes bore straight into Perchkit, who Echosnout plopped down next to Petalkit. 

“One thought it’d be a great idea to try and drown herself,” Echosnout grunted. “The other then fancied a wander around the territory, unattended.”

Petalkit sat and looked at her paws, but Perchkit jumped to his paws, puffing up his fur angrily.

“Did not! We were on our way back!” the tabby tom-kit protested. “And Petalkit followed!”

Petalkit’s paws burned with shame. 

“Don’t drag me into this!” she hissed desperately at Perchkit. 

“You chased me!” Perchkit mewed angrily.

“You ran off first!” Petalkit bit back.

“Quiet.” Darkstar interrupted them. She wasn’t roaring with anger, shouting obscenities the way Oakstar had when he’d cast Mapleshade out; instead, Darkstar sounded completely calm. Petalkit was almost more scared of her than Oakstar. 

“Who even cares if I go out alone?” Perchkit continued, his tone whiny. “I’m basically an apprentice!” 

Petalkit gaped at him. Is he seriously talking to his leader like this?

“Is your name Perchpaw?” Darkstar asked him, still no anger in her voice.

“No, but-” Perchkit began.

“Then you are not an apprentice, and you cannot go out by yourself,” the leader shut him down.

“That’s not fair!” Perchkit stamped a paw. 

He sounds a bit like how Larchkit would whine to Mapleshade…

Petalkit studied Perchkit and Darkstar. She still didn’t believe Darkstar was his mother. Seeing them next to each other, though… They had the same dark coats, the same short legs, the same stout, powerful bodies…

“Well, since you want to be an apprentice so bad,” Darkstar began. “You can go and tend to the elders until sundown. Blackbee has ticks.”

“But-”

“ Now .”

Darkstar finally put force behind her voice, and Perchkit stopped arguing. He dropped his head, grumbling mutinously. 

“I’ll send Cloudpaw to show him how to do it,” Echosnout murmured. “Make sure the little leech does it right.”

“Do not call him a leech,” was all Darkstar had to say in reply to Echosnout. Petalkit shuffled on her paws. She knew she was next.

“Petalkit,” Darkstar mewed. “Reedshine says you fell into the river.” 

“U-um,” Petalkit’s mew wavered nervously. “I, actually, um, well… I tried to swim by myself, a-and Reedshine had to save me.”

Darkstar was silent for so long that Petalkit’s stomach began to crawl with anxiety. She finally dared to look up, only to see the leader watching her with interest, rather than anger.

“I see,” Darkstar mewed. “Petalkit, can you come to my den?”

Petalkit’s belly flip-flopped. 

Am I in trouble? What’s she going to do to me that’s so bad she can’t do it in front of the clan? Am I going to get sent away like Mapleshade was? 

But Petalkit said nothing, simply allowing her numb paws to push herself upright and amble towards the old willow tree, the den she’d seen Darkstar retreat into several sunrises ago. 

“Echosnout, fetch Reedshine for me,” Petalkit heard Darkstar add. Echosnout gave a grunt, then padded off towards the Medicine den. 

Petalkit tried to not look around at the other cats as she padded slowly across camp. She spotted the three apprentices, sharing a fish. Birdpaw and Tanglepaw were whispering to each other, occasionally glancing at Petalkit and giggling. She stared at them, not realizing how distracted she was until she bumped into a sturdy leg. She scrambled backwards, tipping her head upwards to see-

“Hello again,” came the low, rumbly mew of Appledusk. He looked like he was padding towards the medicine den. “You can’t seem to keep your distance.” 

“U-um,” Petalkit mumbled nervously. “Hi, Appledusk.” 

“Riveting conversationalist, you are,” her father observed. “Well, better make your way to Darkstar’s den. Or don’t, and get in trouble again. Your call.”

Appledusk didn’t wait for Petalkit to reply. The stocky tom kept walking, his tail flicking back and forth in agitation. He stopped when he saw Reedshine emerge from the medicine den, his tail curling up in delight. However, she walked straight past him, ignoring whatever he might have mewed to her. When Reedshine’s back was turned, he watched her with open hostility, flattening his ears when he saw his former mate give a friendly tail wave to Petalkit.

“Hi, Petalkit,” Reedshine mewed. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Oh,” Petalkit wasn’t sure why she felt surprised. “Thank you, Reedshine.”

“Let’s see what Darkstar wants with us, hm?” the she-cat used her bushy tail to usher Petalkit towards the willow tree. The two cats walked together, approaching the burly, prickly-looking tom sitting outside it. RiverClan’s deputy, Petalkit reminded herself.

“Reedshine,” the tom nodded. “Petalkit.”

“Spiketail,” Reedshine nodded back.

“You still okay for the dusk patrol?” Spiketail asked.

“Oh, I’m fine,” Reedshine whisked her tail. “It’s just marking borders.”

“Alright then,” Spiketail mewed. “I’ll let you two in now.”

Spiketail moved to the side, and Reedshine pushed into the den first, Petalkit following behind her. The space inside was snug and dark. Not cramped, but not quite as grand as Petalkit expected a leader’s den to be. The den was empty, save for a single, shabby nest. There were frayed feathers and old, dull shells woven into the reeds lining it. The woven reeds were brittle, yellowing, and coming apart. Petakit recoiled slightly from the smell of the stale bedding, and the pile of old prey-bones in the edges of the nest. The only thing fresh about the den were several deep claw marks scored into the bark of the tree.

“You’ll have to excuse the state of it,” Reedshine murmured. “Darkstar hasn’t been herself since, uh, well… since-”

“Reedshine. Petalkit.” Darkstar interrupted, nosing her way through the curtain, giving a curt nod to both cats. Reedshine clamped her jaws shut, and Petakit did her best to give a respectful nod back. The leader padded across the small den and climbed into her unkempt nest,ignoring the old prey-bones. She sat upright, wrapping her tail around her paws. Petalkit noticed her eyes looked duller, her face more… tired, than she had been standing in front of her clan.

“Tell me what happened today,” Darkstar mewed simply. Petalkit opened her mouth, but Reedshine swept her tail in front of the kit’s muzzle to silence her.

“Petalkit wandered off while I wasn’t paying attention, and fell in the river,” Reedshine said confidently. “It was my fault.”

Darkstar narrowed her eyes. 

“Wasn’t Eeltail supposed to be teaching Petalkit how to swim?” she asked.

“I offered to substitute for her. But I didn’t do a good enough job. I’m sorry, Darkstar.” Reedshine dipped her head. Darkstar studied Reedshine intently.

Then, she turned to Petalkit.

“Is this true?” the leader asked. Petalkit gulped. She looked to Reedshine, who pointedly avoided her gaze. 

“N-no!” Petalkit blurted out. Reedshine gasped.

“Petalkit! You’re going to get in trouble!” the dark ginger warrior exclaimed.

“I know,” Petalkit mumbled, “But I don’t wanna be a liar.”

Reedshine opened her mouth a few times, but was unable to reply. Eventually, she simply nodded to the kit. Darkstar angled her ears to listen to Petalkit, signaling for her to continue.

“I ran away from swimming lessons with Reedshine,” Petalkit mewed. “Well… um, it was gonna be with Eeltail, but Reedshine offered to teach me instead…”

“But you jumped in the river anyways?” Darkstar asked. “I don’t understand.”

“Well…” Petalkit shuffled her paws. Her desperate thoughts, her desire to return to ThunderClan… now that she was once again far away from the border, it felt foolish. She looked nervously between Reedshine and Darkstar.

“Reedshine,” Darkstar filled the silence. “I appreciate that you were trying to cover for this young kit’s mistake. But honesty is the foundation of a strong clan. Please be truthful with me next time.” 

“O-of course, Darkstar,” Reedshine nodded. “My apologies.” 

“Your heart was in the right place,” Darkstar told her warrior. “That is what matters most. Now, you should get back to the medicine den to rest before your patrol.”

Darkstar dismissed Reedshine with a flick of her tail. Surprised, Reedshine rose from her position and padded out of the den. Once she was gone, Darkstar turned back to Petalkit. The leader shifted, settling down into a laying position, her paws tucked under her.

“Now, Petalkit,” Darkstar began. “Why did you jump in the river?”

It felt intimidating to be alone with the leader. But one less cat to talk in front of was a relief…

“I was… um…” Petalkit began, trailing off anxiously.

“Did you want to swim on your own?” Darkstar asked. Though her tone wasn’t accusatory, Petalkit fidgeted uncomfortably.

“I was trying to swim to Sunningrocks,” Petalkit looked at her paws shamefully. “I thought I could go back to ThunderClan. But I got scared. I couldn’t stop thinking about how I got swept away in the flood where my littermates died. A-and then…”

Darkstar peered at her for a good while.

“Am I in trouble?” Petalkit asked nervously. Darkstar heaved a deep sigh.

“I cannot punish you for an act of desperation in which you hurt nobody but yourself,” she mewed. “But you must understand, Petalkit. You cannot go back to ThunderClan.”

Even though she’d heard it many times, the idea still hurt Petalkit.

“Why not?” Petalkit asked. “Why can’t I go back?”

Darkstar was silent. She looked away from Petalkit, closing her eyes as if she were trying to gather her thoughts.

“It is not safe for you,” Darkstar told Petalkit. 

“What?!” Petalkit exclaimed. “But it’s my clan!”

“It is not your clan anymore,” Darkstar bowed her head. “With Oakstar as leader… You cannot return. He is a dangerous, vengeful cat. I worry what he would do if he saw you again.” 

“N-no! He’s strong, and wide, and noble, a-and-” Petalkit still felt the instinctual urge to defend Oakstar’s honor. “He’s the leader!”

“I understand why you feel this way, Petalkit,” Darkstar mewed. “Why you are still attached to your old home. And why you yearn to go back. It is hard, dealing with such a huge change. And if this world were just…”

Darkstar’s voice trailed off.

“... I suppose you would still live there,” the leader finished.

“Can you make Oakstar take me back?” Petalkit ventured hopefully.

“No,” Darkstar shook her head. “Though I am a leader myself, I cannot command another leader to change his word.”

Petalkit looked at the ground sadly.

“Now, Petalkit,” Darkstar continued, her tone less somber. “I understand your trepidation towards swimming. It must be very difficult for you, as a former ThunderClan cat. But the river is a part of our home here. The river is gracious. It feeds us, it protects our borders, and our camp. But it can also be cruel, and dangerous. You are at risk as long as you are around the river without knowing how to swim.”

Petalkit felt shame in her belly. 

“It’s just so scary,” Petalkit croaked, her head still bowed. “I don’t know if I can do it.”

“It is okay to be afraid,” Darkstar told the kit. “But true courage is continuing even when you feel fear. That is what makes us warriors.” 

Petalkit furrowed her brow.

“But how can I stop being afraid?” Petalkit asked.

“I…” Darkstar’s mew caught in her throat. She looked down at her filthy nest. “There… There is no easy way. Sometimes, time is what you need. But the medicine cats can help. You should speak with them about your feelings.” 

“Echosnout is so mean, though!” Petalkit protested. “I don’t wanna tell her how I feel. She would laugh at me!”

“Echosnout is gruff, but she is very wise,” Darkstar pointed out. “She is also not the only medicine cat in this clan.”

“Cloudpaw’s just an apprentice!” Petalkit argued. “How could she help?”

“Cloudpaw may be an apprentice in name,” Darkstar mewed. “But she is smarter than most give her credit for. She is a grown cat, after all. ” 

“She’s twenty four moons,” Petalkit recalled Echosnout’s statement. “How many is that? It sounds like a lot. I’m only four moons.”

“Eight seasons,” Darkstar mewed. “She’s been through all the seasons two times already. Cats her age are usually warriors, and sometimes even have… kits of their own.”

Her voice trailed strangely at the end of the statement. Petalkit narrowed her eyes inquisitively. 

Is she thinking about Perchkit?

“Are you Perchkit’s mother?” Petalkit blurted out. She immediately regretted the question when Darkstar’s eye went wide. The leader’s fur spiked along her tense frame, her breathing quickened, and she flattened her ears. Petalkit flinched, worrying she would get a scolding.

Darkstar didn’t look angry, though.

She looked scared. 

Then, as quickly as she reacted, Darkstar forced her fur to lie flat, taking in deep breaths. She closed her eyes, tipping her head back. Petalkit couldn’t ignore that the den was now sour with fear-scent, though.

“I-I can’t blame you for asking,” Darkstar mewed as evenly as she could. “You are new here, after all, and I would be wrong to stop the clan from speaking freely. Yes, I did kit him.” 

“So you are his mother?” Petalkit tipped her head to the side.

“I… He…” Darkstar stammered. “It’s… It’s complicated.”

“Complicated how?” Petalkit asked. Darkstar shook her head.

“That is not a story for kits your age,” the leader mewed solemnly. Petalkit burned with curiosity, but held back from asking any more questions.

I can’t question my leader, she thought.

Wait. My leader? Darkstar is RiverClan’s leader! I’m a ThunderClan cat. 

Right?

“Petalkit, I will postpone your swimming lessons if you agree to speak with the medicine cats about your feelings,” Darkstar changed the subject. “Do we have an agreement?”

Petalkit shifted on her paws. 

“Yes, Darkstar,” she mewed eventually. The leader gave her an approving nod.

“Very well,” Darkstar mewed. “You are dismissed.”

Petalkit got to her paw, and padded to the exit of the den. As she was leaving, Darkstar called out to her again.

“Is Spiketail still there?” she asked. Petalkit tipped her head in confusion. The leader sounded anxious. Petalkit poked her head through the lichen curtain. The burly, unkempt tom was sitting a few paces from the tree, washing his face.

“Yes, he’s just outside,” Petalkit replied to the leader. Darkstar nodded. The leader had returned to sitting with her paws tucked under her body, but she wasn’t looking at Petalkit, she stared into space with hazy eyes. Petalkit backed out of the den, leaving Darkstar to her private time. Spiketail paused in his washing to give the kit a polite nod as she left. Petalkit returned his nod, dipping her small head in respect. 

Darkstar isn’t going to make me swim yet, Petalkit thought to herself. The thought was comforting, but…

What could Echosnout and Cloudpaw possibly do to help me?

Petalkit supposed there was only one way to find out.

Taking a deep breath, Petalkit turned her paws towards the medicine den.

Chapter Text

“Aww look, it’s the scaredy-frog halfclan drypaw!” Petalkit heard the gray tabby apprentice hiss quietly. Petalkit flicked her ear, turning to glare at Birdpaw, who was talking to Tanglepaw. The shaggy tom suppressed a giggle. Petalkit was on her way to the fresh-kill pile, hoping to pick herself some land prey. She didn’t care for the taste of fish; the warm, musky flavor of squirrel and bird was much more her style.

“Yeah! I heard she tried to swim and it made her fur fall out!” Tanglepaw jeered, not bothering to keep his voice low.

“Shut up!” Petalkit growled. She glanced around camp. Many of the warriors were out hunting or patrolling, and the third, friendlier apprentice Troutpaw was absent as well. The remaining cats meandered around the fresh-kill pile across the clearing or lounged in the late afternoon sun, snoozing. The sky was beginning to have a honeyed tint as the sun dipped low, staining the clouds brilliant gold and skimming towards the moors in the distance. 

“Looking to see if anybody’s here to save you?” Tanglepaw mocked. “Poor itty bitty little kitty, so small and afraid!”

“I’m not scared!” Petalkit snapped back.

“It’s not like anybody would side with you anyways,” Birdpaw mewed, her voice silky with contempt. “Nobody wants you here, you know? You’re stinking up the camp with your stupid ThunderClan stench.”

“That’s not true!” Petalkit protested, stamping a paw. “Cloudpaw likes me!”

Birdpaw rolled her eyes.

“She only likes you because she’s a medicine cat and they have to like everybody!” Birdpaw sneered.

“Yeah! And she’s stupider than a minnow!” Tanglepaw grinned at his own dig towards Cloudpaw, his sharp teeth glinting in the light. “She’s so terrible at being a medicine cat, she should just get exiled already!”

“She could take the little drypaw with her,” Birdpaw flicked her tail dismissively towards Petalkit. “Good riddance, I’d say!” 

“Stop it!” Petalkit protested. “You’re being so mean!” 

“We’re not being mean,” Birdpaw shrugged, a malicious glint in her eyes. “We’re just saying the truth. You should just leave, because you’ll never be a real RiverClan cat like the rest of us. You can’t even swim!” 

“I’m half RiverClan!” Petalkit snarled. “That means I have just as much of a right to be here as you . And Darkstar said I can stay!” 

“Only half,” Tanglepaw sniffed. “What a shame.”

“Is she really ?” Birdpaw rolled her eyes. “Appledusk doesn’t even want her! If her RiverClan father disowns her, she can’t be part of our clan! Besides, what kind of RiverClan cat doesn’t want to swim?”

“He does want me!” Petalkit cried out, feeling her voice break towards the end. Birdpaw and Tanglepaw exchanged a glance. 

“Does he, though?” Birdpaw challenged. “I don’t see him tripping over his paws to spend time with you.”

Petalkit didn’t respond. She stared at the ground, anxiety worming in her belly like a pit of live adders.

Why doesn’t he ever want to talk to me?

Is it something I did?

…Am I a bad cat?

“You’re just a stupid, annoying drypaw!” Birdpaw derided her. “At least Perchkit can swim! That proves he’s really RiverClan, unlike you! You’re a waste of prey and-”

 “Birdpaw!” 

The call came from across the camp, near the entrance. A sturdy dark tom stood next to the reed wall, flicking his tail. Birdpaw hadn’t been speaking loud enough for him to hear her teasing, but regardless, Petalkit inwardly breathed a sigh of relief at the interruption.

“Ugh, what, Rainfall?” Birdpaw called back.

“Come here, Birdpaw,” Rainfall mewed sternly. “And bring Tanglepaw. The fish are leaping tonight, we’re going to join Voleflight, Duskwater, and Troutpaw at the Shallows for some training.”

Birdpaw’s gaze snapped back to Petalkit.

“You got lucky this time, drypaw,” the gray apprentice sneered. “Lucky that I have better things to do than waste my time on you!” 

“Yeah!” Tanglepaw added afterwards, his friend flicking her tail against his ear. Birdpaw turned to stalk towards her mentor, followed by Tanglepaw. Petakit watched them go, twitching her tail, half anxiously, half irritated.

What if they’re right? What if I should just leave? Would anybody here miss me?

No. I can’t leave. A clan is where I belong.

Right?

Petalkit sat quietly in her nest in the medicine den, paws tucked underneath her belly. A mossball sat in the nest with her, and on a better day, perhaps she’d be batting it around. She didn’t feel much like playing right now, though. The cruel apprentices’ words still rang in her brain. She glanced up and across the den, at the two larger cats sitting in front of the herb stores.

I have to talk to them. But how?

“That kit’s a menace, I tell you,” Cloudpaw shook her head. “I tried so hard to be nice to him! But he didn’t listen to a single word. I feel so bad for Eeltail!”

The large apprentice was sorting through the herb stores, rolling up leaves and tucking them into crevices according to shape and size.

“Kits are all the same. Makes me glad I’ll never have to be a nursery queen,” Echosnout grumbled back. The bony she-cat was sitting a few paces from Cloudpaw, giving herself a wash. She looked up from her grooming, eyeing Cloudpaw closely. “Those are marigold leaves, not ragweed.” 

“Really?” Cloudpaw asked. “But they look so similar.”

“Ragweed leaves are thinner,” Echosnout grunted. “They also smell different.”

Cloudpaw furrowed her brow, giving the leaves a sniff with her flattened muzzle.

“I guess you’re right,” she mumbled. “It’s so hard for me to tell different smells apart.”

“Your sniffer isn’t put on properly,” Echosnout grunted dismissively. Cloudpaw looked hurt, and Echosnout continued with a lighter tone. “It just happens to some cats. Gotta use your eyes better instead.”  

Echosnout got up and inspected Cloudpaw’s work, nosing between the crevices where the unused herbs sat. 

“Not bad. You’re getting better at this,” Echosnout moved around one or two leaves, but otherwise left the apprentice’s work alone. Cloudpaw puffed up her chest.

“You think so?” she asked hopefully.

“Yeah,” Echosnout muttered back. Cloudpaw curled her tail upwards in delight. She got to her paws and sidled up to her mentor, putting her full weight against the old she-cat and batting her eyes playfully.

“Good enough to get my full name?” Cloudpaw mewed sweetly.

“Don’t make me laugh,” Echosnout grunted, shoving Cloudpaw away. It took great effort; the full-grown apprentice was considerably larger than her scrawny old mentor. And yet, despite Echosnout’s grumpiness, Petalkit detected a hint of humor in the medicine cat’s voice. 

Cloudpaw purred with amusement. She turned away from her mentor, catching Petalkit’s gaze. She must look troubled, because Cloudpaw’s expression dropped and she tipped her head, padding towards the kit’s nest. She settled down next to Petalkit, nudging her with a paw.

“What’s eating you, little one?” Cloudpaw asked. Petalkit looked anxiously past Cloudpaw, her gaze resting on Echosnout’s bony back. The old medicine cat had gone back to grooming herself, occasionally muttering angrily when her stiff joints prevented her from reaching somewhere. Cloudpaw followed Petalkit’s eyes, raising an eyebrow at Echosnout. The apprentice then dropped her mew to a whisper. “Oh, I see.” 

“What are you two yapping about over there?” Echosnout called.

“Echosnout, I think you should check up on Reedshine again,” Cloudpaw batted her eyes innocently at her mentor. Echosnout raised an eyebrow.

“Why?” Echosnout asked, suspicion in her tone. “She hasn’t felt queasy since yesterday morning.” 

“How do you know?” Cloudpaw challenged. “If you visited her in the Warriors’ den, you could make sure she’s okay.”

Echosnout fixed her apprentice in a hard stare.

“You just want me out of your fur, don’t you?” Echosnout guessed.

“What! No I don’t!” Cloudpaw protested. “We love having you around. Right, Petalkit?”

The large apprentice turned to Petalkit and nudged her with a paw. Petalkit blinked in surprise.

“Y-yeah!” she added halfheartedly. Echosnout peered at the two, wholly unconvinced. Petalkit worried she would attempt to probe them. However, the medicine cat just heaved a deep sigh.

“Whatever you say,” Echosnout grunted. “Since you two are so antsy, I’m going for a stroll to look for more horsetail. I’ll be back by moonhigh, so don’t burn the den down while I’m gone, alright?”

She didn’t wait for Petalkit or Cloudpaw to respond before striding out of the medicine den, swishing her tail. Cloudpaw watched her go, then swiveled her flattened face back towards Petalkit.

“I ask again,” Cloudpaw mewed. “What’s eating you?”

Petalkit shifted on her paws. Where would she even begin?

“Water is scary,” Petalkit mumbled, staring at the ground. “I don’t like it.”

“Well, you are from ThunderClan,” Cloudpaw replied. “So that’s not surprising.”

“But my papa’s from RiverClan!” Petalkit felt the urge to defend herself. “I should be able to swim!”

To her surprise, Cloudpaw purred with amusement.

“No kit is born knowing how to swim,” she mewed. “Not even full-blooded RiverClan cats! We’re just the only ones willing to put in the work. Any cat could learn how to swim, if they really wanted to.”

“Can you swim?” Petalkit asked. She’d never seen the medicine cat apprentice in the water.

“Of course,” Cloudpaw flicked her ear. “There’s a good patch of mallow right across the river.”

The white she-cat stopped, swishing her tail in agitation.

“Or was it marigold?” she wondered aloud. “Or, maybe…”

“Why’d you pick being a medicine cat if you’re so bad at it?” Petalkit blurted out without thinking. Cloudpaw snapped her head over and stared at Petalkit, wide-eyed in surprise. She opened her mouth a few times, but couldn’t conjure any words.

“I… like to help other cats,” Cloudpaw finally mewed. 

“You’re not helping me very much,” Petalkit mewed.

“I’m trying to,” Cloudpaw flicked her tail over one of Petalkit’s ears. “But you’re not making it very easy.”

“I don’t have any wounds,” Petalkit mewed. “And I’m not sick. But Darkstar said you could help me. I don’t understand.”

Cloudpaw blinked in surprise. 

“Darkstar?” she asked, curiosity in her tone.

“Well, um…” Petalkit mumbled, shifting on her paws. “When I went to Darkstar’s den last night… She said, um, that she would postpone my swimming lessons, if I talked to you. Or Echosnout. But…”

Petalkit fidgeted nervously.

“Echosnout’s a little mean?” Cloudpaw guessed. Petalkit nodded. 

“But, I really… I don’t wanna swim!” Petalkit burst out.

 She thought of swimming, then of the memories swimming conjured. Like the river, she couldn’t resist the flow of thought, of the images cascading their way into her brain.The endless water swallowing her whole, the deep, aching cold, the darkness swimming in her vision, her littermates being swept away…

“Petalkit, you’re shaking!” Cloudpaw’s exclamation jolted Petalkit out of her reverie. She could feel her heart pounding. The medicine cat apprentice was on her paws, sniffing Petalkit nervously, looking her over for signs of injury. Petalkit flexed her claws, feeling the dry ground beneath her.

There is no water.

She tried taking a deep, rattling breath.

“The water scared me,” Petalkit murmured. Cloudpaw tipped her head to one side.

“But… there isn’t any water here,” Cloudpaw mewed. 

“I was thinking about the water,” Petalkit ducked her head, scuffing a paw on the floor, embarrassed. Cloudpaw narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. 

“Does it make you think about… your mother? And your littermates?” Cloudpaw asked. Petalkit didn’t look up.

“A lil,” she confessed. 

“Hmm,” Cloudpaw mused. “Oh, I feel like Echosnout has told me about something like this. But I can’t remember everything about it…”

“Don’t get Echosnout!” Petalkit widened her eyes. “She’s too mean! She’ll just make fun of me!”

Like Birdpaw and Tanglepaw did.  

Cloudpaw fluffed up her fur and whisked her tail.

“Echosnout isn’t all mean!” The white apprentice defended her mentor. “She just… says things as they are. And sometimes, that’s how you need to hear it. ”

“But she yells a lot, and it’s scary,” Petalkit mumbled. “She makes me feel like I’m always in trouble. I don’t like it.”

Cloudpaw sighed, and touched her nose to the kit’s head.

“I know, Petalkit,” she mewed. “Echosnout scared me when I was first apprenticed to her. Especially since I can be so frog-brained!”

“I just don’t wanna talk to her.” Petalkit remained persistent. Cloudpaw sighed.

“Very well,” she mewed. “I’ll tell you what I can remember.”

Cloudpaw settled on the dry floor of the nursery, tucking her paws under her belly and wrapping her tail around her large body. 

“You said you don’t have any wounds,” Cloudpaw began.

“Yes,” Petalkit mewed. “And I’m not sick. There isn’t anything wrong with me. So how can you help?”

“Wounds aren’t always on our pelt,” Cloudpaw pointed out. “Sometimes a can can get a wound on their mind.”

Petalkit tipped her head to the side.

“But my head doesn’t hurt! That makes no sense!” the kit protested. Cloudpaw gave a purr of amusement. 

“It’s not a physical wound, but it can still hurt as bad as one,” Cloudpaw explained. “Well, emotionally, at least. You said thinking of the water makes you scared?”

“Yes,” Petalkit mewed quietly, still feeling embarrassed to admit her weakness.

“Well, the idea of water is stored in your brain. When you had your… accident,” Cloudpaw glanced at Petalkit carefully, a concerned expression on her face. “The idea of water got a cut on it, because there was so much water involved. Now, you feel afraid whenever you are near water, because it’s like the wound is being opened again.” 

Petalkit sat in silence, chewing on Cloudpaw’s words. The large apprentice watched her carefully, checking for signs that the kit was upset. Petalkit swished her tail in agitation.

“So am I gonna be walking around with a cut in my brain forever?” she mewed. “That’s not fair!”

“Well, with time-,” Cloudpaw began, avoiding Petalkit’s gaze. The kit frowned, furrowing her brow. That was the same unhelpful thing Darkstar told her.

“But I want to be better now!” she mewed. “I hate being so afraid!”

“You couldn’t heal a broken leg overnight,” Cloudpaw shook her head. “Same goes for this.” 

Petalkit said nothing, but continued swishing her tail. 

“Anyways, that’s about all I remember about that,” Cloudpaw admitted. “Echosnout didn’t let me deal with Darkstar when she’d…  Uh… Because I was so… And she…”

Cloudpaw trailed off, stealing a sidelong glance at Petalkit. She shook her broad head, turning to look at the opposite wall of the den.

“You’ll just have to ask Echosnout about it,” Cloudpaw finished awkwardly. “When you’re older.”

Petalkit twitched her whiskers, still frustrated. She decided to push the strange leader out of her mind, because nobody seemed to want to talk about her.

But without that distraction, Petalkit couldn’t stop thinking about her encounter with Birdpaw and Tanglepaw earlier. Did the two cruel apprentices’ feelings reflect the rest of the Clan? Cloudpaw watched Petalkit closely, tipping her head to the side.

“Is something else bothering you?” Cloudpaw asked. Petalkit turned back into her nest, resting her head onto her paws. 

“No,” she muttered. “I’m fine.” 

Chapter Text

Petalkit sheltered under the leaves of a willow tree. She crouched low, her belly fur brushing against the pebbles and damp soil. The sun was somewhere overhead, but the sky’s thick cloud covering masked its exact position. Petalkit was at the Shallows once again, watching Eeltail play games with Perchkit in the nearly-still water. The elegant queen was picking up small stones in her mouth and tossing them, while Perchkit tried to leap and catch them before they hit the water. He wasn’t having much luck, but he still screeched in delight every time Eeltail sent a pebble flying, his short legs sending up sprays of water as he galavanted about. Petalkit tipped her head up, looking at the clouds. A light sprinkling fell from the gray sky, some of the drops making it through the willow branches, and the coolness in the breeze warned that Leaf-fall was nearing its end. 

RiverClan cats! Petalkit thought, shivering. Don’t they ever get tired of water?

The cats of ThunderClan would surely all be sheltering in their dens right now. But she knew half of RiverClan was out and about, their river hunting unimpeded by the rain. Petalkit sighed.

I suppose it’s kind of funny to imagine that mighty Oakstar is hiding in his den right now, but I’m out here being brave.

Her eyes flicked up to the canopy of willow branches over her head.

Well, mostly brave. 

As per Darkstar’s instructions, Petalkit’s swimming lessons had been postponed. However, the leader still insisted she accompany Eeltail and Perchkit to the Shallows. Something about getting some fresh air. For several days now, Petalkit came and sat under the willow tree in the Shallows, watching Perchkit play in the water. Eeltail always kept him there until he was exhausted, swaying on his paws with drooping, sleepy eyes. Though Darkstar had instructed Eeltail to not force Petalkit into the water, the tabby queen had still made multiple attempts to coerce her into swimming. But Petalkit stood her ground, feeling cold dread creep over her at the thought of getting her paws wet. She hardly noticed that Perchkit exited the river and was padding towards her across the pebbly beach.

“Hi, Petalkit,” he mewed loudly. He carried a small stone in his mouth, and his thick pelt was soaking wet.

“Don’t get any water on me,” Petalkit warned, furrowing her brow. Her pelt prickled as Perchkit flopped down beside her; though, she noticed he sat a few paces away, and only one or two droplets splashed onto her. She hastily twisted her head, licking the cold beads of water off her pelt. 

“Do you think this is a cool rock?” Perchkit ducked his head, dropping the stone onto the ground in front of her. It made a small clattering sound, and its white surface was inlaid with occasional flecks of gold and gray. Petalkit twitched an ear.

“I’ve never seen a rock like that,” she mewed, her tone even. 

“It’s a river rock!” Perchkit puffed out his chest proudly. “Bet you didn’t have any of them in ThunderClan territory, did you?” 

Petalkit twitched her whiskers, thinking of the stream that ran through ThunderClan’s forest. Its bottom was mostly mud, with some tiny, dull gray pebbles; it was nothing compared to the river. 

“Whatever,” she mewed, ruffling her fur. “It’s not that great.”

“Oh,” Perchkit mewed, sounding almost… disappointed? Hurt?

Petalkit didn’t expect that.

The two kits sat in silence for many heartbeats. Petalkit watched Eeltail swim around in the middle of the river by herself. The queen’s long, plumy tail flowed out behind her like a snake. Petalkit didn’t know what an eel was, but Cloudpaw told her it was a bit like a water snake. The queen was aptly named then, Petalkit supposed. 

“What kind of rocks did you have in ThunderClan?” Perchkit asked. Petalkit shifted on her paws, trying to keep warm against the cool ground beneath her. She took a step back, as the water seeping from Perchkit’s pelt dampened the soil.

“I dunno,” she grumbled. “Like, gray ones, I guess.” 

Perchkit definitely looked disappointed now. He nudged his rock with one paw.

“Well, I’m going to bring this back and keep it in my nest!” Perchkit continued awkwardly. “It’s the coolest rock I’ve ever seen!” 

“You will do no such thing,” came the muffled mew of Eeltail. She was approaching the kits, a large trout clamped in her jaws. She huffed with effort, dropped the fish at their paws.

“Hey! Watch out for the rock!” Perchkit squealed, nudging the fish away so he could move his prized catch. 

“Perchkit, you cannot put a rock in our nest,” Eeltail mewed sternly. 

“Aww, why not?” He fluttered his eyes, staring innocently at the queen. Eeltail’s expression softened, and she stifled a purr of amusement. 

“It’ll poke us in our sleep,” she mewed. “And there’s no room for it! You’re getting so big, we barely fit in the nest as is.” 

Perchkit puffed up his chest at the praise, despite his request being denied. Petalkit stole a sidelong glance at him; he was pretty big. Bigger than her, at least. Eeltail was quite long-legged, so Perchkit always looked a bit short compared to her.

“Can I put it outside the nursery entrance, then?” Perchkit asked. “To show all the other cats the cool rock I captured!” 

Eeltail bent forward to lick his forehead, purring.

“You can keep it in your rock pile,” she mewed. “It should go at the top. It’s a very pretty rock, after all.”

Perchkit curled up his fluffy tail, delight sparkling in his bright blue eyes.

“Will you help me move my rock pile to the apprentice’s den after my ceremony?” Perchkit mewed. “I heard Troutpaw has his own rock pile in there, but it’s probably not as cool as mine. I wanna show him what for!”

“Of course,” Eeltail purred. “We can weave you a rock-nest, like Troutpaw has. Though, that apprentice is quite the collector. He gave you your first rock, remember?”

“Well, he’d better watch out, ‘cuz when I’m a warrior and can go rock-diving whenever I want, I’m going to have the best collection in the whole forest!” Perchpaw lashed his tail determinedly. Eeltail’s shoulders bounced with soft laughter, and she nudged the large fish forward towards the two kits.

“Now, eat up you two,” she mewed. “It’s past sunhigh.”

“All right!” Perchkit cheered. “Thanks, Eeltail!”

He immediately took a bite from the large fish, squinting his eyes in pleasure at the taste as he chewed. Petalkit, however, sat glued to her spot, glowering at the fish. 

“Petalkit, aren’t you hungry?” Eeltail tipped her head. Petalkit scuffed a paw on the ground.

“No,” she muttered, hoping Eeltail couldn’t hear her belly grumble. 

“She doeshn’t eat fish,” Perchpaw mewed through a full mouth. “‘Cuz she’sh a ThunderClan cat!” 

Petalkit shot him a glare.

“Shut up, Perchkit!” she hissed. She turned back to the fish laying on the ground. She leaned forward, tentatively opening her jaws. The fish’s oily musk and the damp scent of the river water hit the roof of her mouth and she gagged, scrambling back away from the prey. Perchkit watched her, stifling a giggle.

“I said shut up!” Petalkit repeated. 

“Petalkit, be nice,” Eeltail chided gently. “And Perchkit, don’t laugh at her. She’s been through a lot.”

The sympathy in Eeltail’s mew was thick and sweet like honey. Petalkit lashed her tail, feeling hot embarrassment under her pelt. 

“I wanna go back to camp,” she mumbled grumpily. Eeltail whisked her tail, but then sighed.

“Very well,” Eeltail mewed. “We can go back to camp, and see if the fresh-kill pile has any land prey.”

“Aw, what?” Perchkit whined. “No fair! I wanna keep playing!” 

“We’ll come back afterwards,” Eeltail assured him. She finished the fish alongside Perchkit, and then nudged both kits to their paws. Once Perchkit and Petalkit were ambling in the direction of camp, Eeltail found a suitable place to bury the fish bones and began escorting them back home. 

“And where was Ravenwing?”

“Probably sick with greencough. You know ThunderClan cats can’t catch much else.”

“I don’t know, Echosnout. Sloefur and Larkwing seemed worried.”

“Bah! Sloefur’s thinker was never screwed on right, thanks to his mentor Molepelt’s conspiracies. And Larkwing will follow around anybody with even an ounce of conviction like a lost duckling. A real thorn in the tail, those two are.”

Petalkit shifted in her nest, groaning softly. Movements dulled by sleep, she reached her paws up in an attempt to cover her ears. The soft pattering of paws echoed in the medicine den as Echosnout and Cloudpaw returned from the gathering, deeply embroiled in discussion. Petalkit could vaguely hear other cats out in the clearing, but the two medicine cats’ back and forth was drowning it out for the most part.

“Maybe we should go to ThunderClan, and ask-” Cloudpaw began.

“With Oakstar in charge?” Echosnout snorted. “No thanks! Everybody knows that tom is about as reasonable as a badger.” 

“He’s just upset about Birchface,” Cloudpaw pointed out.

“No he isn’t!” Though Petalkit’s face was buried in the moss, she guessed the old medicine cat was rolling her eyes. “He’s been itching for a war with us for moons!”

“I think you’re being a bit unfair,” Cloudpaw murmured.

“Cloudpaw, think with your head for once!” Echosnout hissed. “He raids twolegplace, he exiled Mapleshade and her kits, he-”

Petalkit’s head shot up at the mention of her biological mother. Echosnout and Cloudpaw both jumped, as if they had forgotten Petalkit was in the den with them. 

“Petalkit!” Cloudpaw mewed. “You’re awake!” 

“Oakstar isn’t that mean,” Petalkit protested. Echosnout grunted, lifting a leg to scratch behind her ear.

“Eugh,” she mewed. “This again.” 

“He’s a leader!” Petalkit mewed. “We have to respect him!” 

“Leaders are still cats,” Echosnout snapped. “They can make a mistake as easily as you or I.”

Petalkit paused. Had Oakstar made a mistake to exile Mapleshade?

And if Oakstar made a mistake in sending her away… 

“If Oakstar is bad, then so is Darkstar!” Petalkit mewed indignantly. Echosnout continued itching herself, unbothered. 

“I never said Oakstar is bad,” the medicine cat grunted. “Just that he can make mistakes. Darkstar is the same.”

“Echosnout,” Cloudpaw interjected. “I think you should take it easy on-”

“Darkstar wouldn’t want me to go easy on her,” Echosnout shot back. “She’s a better leader than Oakstar, but-”

“No she isn’t!” Petalkit protested, but this time, she didn’t put her whole heart into it. She remembered the calm, measured way Darkstar spoke to her, compared to Oakstar, who was always scary, even when he thought Petalkit was his kin. Darkstar didn’t command fear the way Oakstar did, but she was very… wise.

“Don’t interrupt your seniors,” Echosnout mewed sternly to Petalkit. She then turned back to her apprentice. “I respect Darkstar deeply. For staying strong after what she’s been through. A weaker cat would have run away and abandoned us. But she can make mistakes, as easily as any cat.” 

“Surely, you’re not saying-” Cloudpaw began. Her eyes flicked towards Petalkit anxiously. She sputtered for a few moments, searching for the right words. “We can’t question our leader’s judgment!”

The large white apprentice stole another sidelong glance at Petalkit.

“Especially not in front of-”

“Cloudpaw, respecting Darkstar as a cat means acknowledging the fullness of her experience, which includes her capacity to be wrong.” Echosnout’s mew tinged with finality as she glared at her apprentice. Cloudpaw’s tail twitched with impatience, and the two medicine cats held each others’ gazes, tension crackling between them. 

“What happened to Darkstar?” Petalkit piped up. Echosnout swiveled her head slowly, narrowing her eyes at Petalkit.

“Nothing that concerns a kit of your age,” Echosnout mewed pointedly. 

“Why does everyone say that?” Petalkit whined. “Why can’t you just tell me? It’s stupid! and unfair!” 

Echosnout kept Petalkit fixed in her amber gaze for a very long time.

“I think it’s time we moved you to the nursery.”

“What?!” Petalkit yowled. “Why?!”

“You’ve healed from nearly drowning,” Echosnout mewed. “We could stand to get you back to where kits should be.”

“B-but,” Petalkit began. She felt panic well up in her chest. She’d just gotten to know these two medicine cats! But if she went to the nursery, she’d be alone. 

“Don’t worry,” Cloudpaw purred. “We’ll still come visit you. Right, Echosnout?”

Echosnout grunted noncommittally. 

“But I don’t have a queen to share a nest with!” Petalkit protested. 

“You won’t be there much longer,” Cloudpaw promised. “Besides, you’ve been just fine in your own nest here in the medicine den.”

“Well, yea, but you and Echosnout are here!” Petalkit mewed. 

“You’ll have Eeltail and Perchkit as denmates in the nursery,” Cloudpaw brushed her tail along Petalkit’s back. “It will be good for you to make friends with another cat your own age, instead of us old badgers here in the medicine den.” 

“StarClan above, I’m only twenty seasons old,” Echosnout grumbled. 

“Some cats retire to the elder’s den at your age,” Cloudpaw teased. 

“So? Every cat has a full name at your age,” Echosnout snapped back. Cloudpaw made a pouty face, but there was a gleam of humor in her eyes. She then turned back to Petalkit.

“So what do you say, Petalkit?” Cloudpaw asked.

“No!” Petalkit stamped a paw. “I don’t wanna share a den with Perchkit!” 

“You’re going to be an apprentice with Perchkit,” Echosnout muttered. “Best get used to him now, or you’ll never get enough sleep for your training.” 

Petalkit paused. She hadn’t thought much about her apprenticeship. A half-moon had passed since she arrived in RiverClan; she was now just over a moon and a half away from her own apprenticeship. The idea of having a mentor, being trained in battle and hunting thrilled her from nose to tail-tip, but…

I won’t be learning to stalk, or hunt in a team, she thought morosely. I’ll be learning to swim, and fish.

She shuddered at the thought. Darkstar postponed her swimming lessons, but she knew she couldn’t get away with putting it off forever. 

Still, that was a problem for her later. For now…

“Alright, out you go,” Echosnout began nosing her towards the entrance of the medicine den.

“What? You meant like right now?” Cloudpaw gasped. 

“Yes,” Echosnout muttered. “You and I need to have a talk.”

Petalkit dug her paws into the ground weakly at first, but didn’t want the rest of the clan to see the old medicine cat shoving her across the camp like a prisoner. Instead, she ducked her head and trudged across the RiverClan camp, making for the nursery.

Chapter Text

Perchkit lowered his compact, sturdy body to the ground, sliding forward on deft paws across the slightly damp soil towards Petalkit. His belly fur brushed lightly over the sparse grass in front of the nursery, and his fluffy tail swayed back and forth as he beckoned to his pale brown denmate.

“Practice the hunter’s crouches with me!” he mewed. Petalkit sat in the entrance to the nursery, hiding in the shadows cast by the woven roof. She twitched her whiskers unhappily.

“No,” she snapped. Perchkit got up from his crouch and shook his pelt out, rolling his eyes at Petalkit.

“You’re no fun, you know?” he told her. “I spent five moons alone in the nursery, now that I actually have a denmate it’d be nice if you’d actually play with me.”

“Eeltail’s been here the whole time,” Petalkit grunted. “Go play with her.”

The silver tabby queen lounged a few fox-lengths away, stretched out in a spot where the grass grew thicker on the camp’s floor. Her sides rose and fell rhythmically, indicating her snooze. 

“She’s busy,” Perchkit mewed. “Beides, it’s more fun to play with other kits.” 

“I thought you were going to be an apprentice soon,” Petalkit mumbled. Perchkit fluffed up his fur.

“Yeah, well, I’m not one yet. So we might as well play, alright?” he mewed. “And practicing hunting crouches will make us better apprentices.” 

Petalkit lowered her belly to the ground, shifting her paws so they rested underneath her. 

“You’re not even doing the hunting crouch right,” Petalkit scoffed. “Your rump is too high. And you keep waggling your tail.” 

“What do you know about hunting crouches?” Perchkit mewed defensively. “I bet they taught it all wrong over in ThunderClan!” 

Petalkit flattened her ears.

“ThunderClan hunting crouches are better than RiverClan ones,” Petalkit snapped. “Especially since ThunderClan actually hunts ground prey.” 

“RiverClan can hunt ground prey!” Perchkit rebutted. “But we don’t, ‘cuz fish is so much better!” 

Petalkit lashed her tail impatiently. Her new denmate was driving her crazy day and night. She’d been sleeping in the nursery for a quarter-moon now, and it seemed like every single night Perchkit would wake her up to ask what she thought of one of the rocks in his pile. Eeltail wasn’t much help either, she kept encouraging her to play with him. 

“Whatever,” Petalkit mumbled. “Who cares about stupid hunting crouches anyways.”

Perchkit sat up from his practice-crouch.

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked bluntly. Petalkit narrowed her eyes at him.

“Nothing’s wrong with me,” Petalkit snapped back.

“You’re so mean all the time,” Perchkit had a tinge of whining to his mew. “It’s no fun. I just want to play with you.”

“Well I don’t want to play with you,” Petalkit muttered. “Is that not allowed?” 

“You should play,” Perchkit huffed. “But all you do is sulk around and be mad at other cats for no reason.” 

Petalkit swished her tail. Who cares what I do? It’s not like it matters what I spend my time on. I don’t even have any apprentice duties yet. 

“I’d play with you if you weren’t so whiny and annoying,” Petalkit snapped. “Or if you ever came up with a game that wasn’t mind-numbingly boring.” 

“Are all ThunderClan cats as mean as you?” Perchkit wrinkled his nose. “No wonder my clan hates yours so much.” 

“I don’t live in ThunderClan anymore, mouse-brain,” Petalkit mewed hotly. “And in case you hadn’t noticed, I didn’t exactly choose to be in this clan of stupid fish-eaters.”

“See? That’s mean, Petalkit!” Perchkit replied, his ears flat against his head.

“Well, you were making fun of ThunderClan cats,” Petalkit defended herself, feeling her hackles rise. “You’re always pointing out that I’m not from here. That’s not very nice, either!” 

“Kits,” the groggy mew of Eeltail came from the sunny grass patch. “You’re both being mean. Please stop arguing.” 

Perchkit lashed his tail angrily, but he didn’t say anything else. Petalkit glared at him angrily, before turning to stomp away across camp, looking for anywhere to get away from her dark tabby denmate. Absentmindedly, she felt her paws carry her to the medicine den. She stopped in front of the entrance, swaying on her paws. She knew Echosnout wouldn’t be happy to see her back. She had no reason to be here now. But, still..

She pushed her way inside. 

In the cool shade of the den, Petalkit smelled strong traces of both medicine cats. However, their scents were slightly stale, and the silence inside told her that they were out, likely gathering herbs, or tending to a cat somewhere else in camp. Instead, Petalkit spied a dark ginger cat resting in a nest, near where her own nest used to be.

“Petalkit?” the dark ginger warrior raised her head, blinking blue eyes at Petalkit. 

“Reedshine!” Petalkit bounded over to Reedshine. She hadn’t spoken to the warrior for some sunrises; she hadn’t even known Reedshine was in the medicine den.

“Hello, Petalkit,” Reedshine mewed warmly. “How is the nursery?”

“Bad!” Petalkit spat. “I hate sharing a den with Perchkit!” 

Reedshine gave a small purr of amusement. 

“Why is that?” she asked. “I would’ve thought you’d enjoy having another kit to play with.”

Petalkit swished her tail impatiently. 

“He’s so annoying! He keeps bothering me and talking to me about everything, all the time!” Petalkit mewed. “I want to be left alone!” 

Reedshine tilted her head.

“Why do you want to be left alone?” she asked. 

Petalkit opened her mouth to answer but then paused, realizing she couldn’t think of anything to say. She lowered her head and stared at her paws, trying to come up with a response. 

“Why don’t you and I go on a little stroll, after Birdpaw’s warrior ceremony?” Reedshine offered. Petalkit raised her head, pricking her ears.

“Birdpaw is going to be a warrior?” she asked. Though the gray apprentice was far from kind to Petalkit, she had never seen a warrior ceremony before. The thought of hearing those coveted words, the words that made a cat a warrior; it was exciting, even if not being spoken to her. 

“Probably,” Reedshine mewed thoughtfully. “Rainfall took her out for her assessment a while after sunrise. She’s quite sharp at hunting, so I don’t doubt she’ll pass.” 

“What is she gonna do for her assessment?” Petalkit asked.

“Preparing for your own?” Reedshine raised an eyebrow playfully. Petalkit whisked her tail bashfully, a bit embarrassed. 

“I ‘unno…” she mewed. “It kinda feels like I’ll never get there.”

“I know the feeling,” Reedshine sighed. “When I was a kit and a ‘paw, all I wanted was to grow up.”

“Well being a warrior seems nice,” Petalkit pointed out. “You don’t have queens and medicine cats telling you what to do all the time.” 

“That’s what Darkstar and Spiketail are for,” Reedshine chuffed with laughter. “No, I miss being able to play and nap all the time. Life was so much simpler, as a kit.” 

“Is that why you wanna hang out with me?” Petalkit asked. “So you can play games and nap all the time?”

Reedshine stood up and stretched. Then, she ran her plumy tail over Petalkit’s back.

“No,” she mewed. “I just like to spend time with you, Petalkit.” 

Petalkit wasn’t sure how to respond. Nobody had ever told her that before. 

“Why are you in the medicine den?” Petalkit asked. Reedshine settled back into her nest, rolling onto her side.

“Not sure,” she mewed. “I’ve been feeling queasy in the mornings lately. I was just waiting for-”

“Oh, for StarClan’s sake!” came a muffled, cranky mew from behind Petalkit. She turned to see Echosnout in the entrance to the medicine den, some kind of herb clutched in her jaws. “Petalkit, you don’t sleep here anymore, remember?” 

“Is she not allowed to come and visit a friend?” Reedshine defended Petalkit. 

“Petalkit doesn’t have any friends,” Echosnout grumbled. Petalkit felt a sting of indignation, watching the medicine cat place down the herbs. “Alright, then, Reedshine, let’s figure out how pregnant you are.”

Petalkit’s heart skipped a beat. She stole a look back at Reedshine, noticing that indeed, her belly did look slightly larger.

“What?!” Reedshine stuttered. “P-pregnant?!” 

“You’ve been in here complaining of queasiness and bellyache nearly every morning for the last quarter-moon,” Echosnout muttered. “I’m surprised you didn’t realize first.” 

Reedshine was speechless. She looked… shocked? Horrified? Petalkit wasn’t sure.

“B-but… Appledusk and I, we aren’t, we’re not…” Reedshine’s voice was unfocused, like she couldn’t put the thoughts she was having into words. 

“You think your body cares about the concept of monogamy?” Echosnout snorted. Reedshine ducked her head, looking nervous.

“Aren’t queens usually happy to be pregnant?” Petalkit tipped her head. “You don’t seem happy.”

“It can be a mixed bag,” Echosnout grunted. “I for one can’t imagine why any cat would be happy to be pregnant.”

“But why would you be sad about being pregnant?” Petalkit asked, suddenly feeling worried. “Reedshine, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” 

“I’m okay,” Reedshine murmured, distractedly sweeping her tail against Petalkit. “I’m just… surprised. Yeah. I’m surprised, that’s all.”

“Kits are good, aren’t they?” Petalkit asked. “It means two cats love each other, right?”

Echosnout and Reedshine both responded with silence. 

“Petalkit, you should get out of Reedshine’s fur,” Echosnout muttered.

“No,” Reedshine mewed. “I… want her to stay here. The company’s nice. I promised we could go on a walk later, anyways.” 

Echosnout rolled her eyes, grumbling.

“Just when we finally got rid of her…”

“Reedshine, you need two cats to have kits, right?” Petalkit asked. “Whos the other cat?”

Reedshine was silent for a moment, her ears folded against her head. When she finally answered, it was so quiet, it was barely a whisper.

“Appledusk.”

Petalkit pricked her ears up.

“But… he’s my dad!” she mewed. “He had kits with Mapleshade!”

Reedshine cringed. 

“Yeah,” she murmured. “He did.”

“Is that allowed?” Petalkit asked. “I thought you could only have kits with one cat. Mapleshade always said that’s what true love is.”

“Well, that’s how it usually is,” Reedshine mewed. “Two cats and their kittens. Life is sometimes a bit more complicated than that, though. Some cats don’t have a mate, and some cats have more than one mate.”

“So it’s allowed, then?” Petalkit tipped her head to the side. Reedshine dipped her head sadly.

“If all the cats involved agree to it, then it’s fine. Out of the ordinary, but not bad,” she mewed. “But Appledusk didn’t tell me about Mapleshade. A-and it seemed like he didn’t tell Mapleshade about me, either. He told both of us that we were his only true love.” 

“Oh,” Petalkit thought back to the weird tension between Reedshine and Appledusk, how Appledusk seemed nervous around Reedshine, like a kit who’d been caught misbehaving. “So Appledusk got in trouble with you for lying?” 

Reedshine gave a weak purr of amusement.

“Yes, he got in big trouble,” she mewed. “I put him in time out from being my mate.”

“You can do that?!” Petalkit felt her eyes widen in shock. “My mama said true love is forever!” 

“You don’t always get it right the first time,” Reedshine mewed. She heaved a deep, deep sigh. “Sometimes, you make a mistake. And end up in a really sticky situation.”

Petalkit shifted on her paws. 

“Do you not want to have kits?” Petalkit asked. “I thought you could only have kits if you really wanted and believed and hoped with all your heart.”

“It doesn’t quite work that way,” Reedshine purred. “I have always wanted kits. I just thought, I guess, I’d have a cat to help me with them.” 

Petalkit furrowed her brow. 

“I can help you!” Petalkit puffed up her chest. “If Appledusk is also their father, then I’m like their big sister!” 

Reedshine blinked, raising her eyebrows in surprise.

“Oh, I never thought of that, Petalkit, you are their sister!” Reedshine mewed. Petalkit glowed with pride, but then deflated, thinking of her lost littermates.

Would they be excited, too? To learn that they have younger siblings? 

…Will Appledusk like Reedshine’s kits more than he likes me? Because they’re fully RiverClan, and I’m not?

Petalkit tried not to dwell on that. 

“Let all cats old enough to swim gather beneath me for a clan meeting!”

Reedshine and Petalkit were interrupted by the sound of Darkstar summoning the clan. Petalkit waited for Reedshine to raise herself out of her nest and shake out her pelt before trotting into the clearing, where the sky had begun to turn golden with the setting sun. Darkstar perched atop a tall rock, with Spiketail sitting at the base. Rainfall and Birdpaw sat not too far away, Birdpaw’s short fur meticulously groomed and shining. The other apprentices, Tanglepaw and Troutpaw, were at the front of the crowd of cats, both looking eager for their denmate. Petalkit spotted Eeltail and Perchkit, far on the other side of camp, joining the group of gathering cats. Petalkit and Reedshine trotted around to sit in front of the rock and watch the ceremony.

“Cats of RiverClan, we are gathered here today for one of the most important ceremonies in a young cat’s life,” Darkstar began. The hunch from the sleek black leader’s shoulders was gone, she stood tall and proud over her Clan, projecting the strong, commanding presence of a true leader. She looked like a completely different cat from the rumpled, ungroomed mess who’d spoken in low, gravelly tones with Petalkit in the leaders’ den. 

 “Birdpaw, step forward,” Darkstar lowered her gaze to meet with the apprentice’s. Birdpaw stepped forward, and though her composure was cool, Petalkit noticed her long tail was quivering. Darkstar then lifted her head to the cloudy sky, speaking loudly and clearly so that all the cats of StarClan could hear.

“I, Darkstar, leader of RiverClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. She has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend her to you as a warrior in her turn. Birdpaw, do you promise to uphold the Warrior Code and to protect and defend your clan, even at the cost of your life?” 

A spark of determination flashed in Birdpaw’s eyes as she replied. 

“I do.”

“Then by the powers of StarClan, I grant you your warrior name. Birdpaw, from this moment on, you will be known as Birdsong, for you always let your voice be heard. StarClan honors your honesty, and we welcome you as a full warrior of RiverClan.” 

Darkstar leapt down from the rock. Birdsong dipped her head respectfully, a far departure from the gray apprentice’s normal smug demeanor. Darkstar rested her muzzle on Birdsong’s head, and the newly-named warrior licked her shoulder in return. 

“Birdsong! Birdsong!” 

The cats of the clan cried out the new warrior’s name, and Petalkit noticed Tanglepaw and Troutpaw calling the loudest, congratulating their friend on her achievement. She padded over to them, her tail raised smugly. 

“Wow, Birdsong!” Tanglepaw mewed a bit bashfully. “That’s a great name!”

“Yeah!” Troutpaw added. “You’re totally leaving us in the dust.” 

“I know, right?” Birdsong’s smugness returned as she smirked at her friends. “You two’d better hurry up and pass your assessments so we can get on all the patrols together!” 

The three apprentices laughed together. Petalkit noticed Perchkit bounding up towards them on his sturdy legs as the crowd surrounding the ceremony dispersed. 

“Birdsong, you were so cool!” Perchkit skidded to a halt, huffing and puffing. “How did it feel to get your warrior name?” 

Birdsong’s jubilance disappeared, and she curled her lip at the dark tabby kit.

“Where’s your little half-clan friend?” she sneered. “Or better yet, your wannabe-queen of a mother?”

Perchkit’s head lowered and he scuffed his paw on the ground. 

“I just wanted to know about the ceremony,” he muttered. 

“Well, get lost,” Birdsong snapped at him. “This is warrior’s business!” 

She said “Warrior’s” with a smug lilt that made Perchkit’s tail droop. Petalkit felt a rush of indignation, recognizing the same dejected sadness she’d seen in Perchkit earlier. Sure, it had been her fault that time, but she didn’t do it on purpose. Birdsong was just being mean for the sake of it.  Petalkit marched across the clearing to stand at Perchkit’s side. 

“Leave him alone, Birdsong!” she spat at the newly-named warrior. “It’s no wonder you got named after your inability to shut your stupid muzzle!” 

Birdsong flattened her ears angrily. Tanglepaw hissed in fury, but Troutpaw seemed more amused than anything. Birdsong stuck her muzzle into Petalkit’s face.

“You’re both a pair of unwanted, half-blooded rejects,” Birdsong snarled through gritted teeth. “Your parents don’t want you, and neither does anybody in this clan. Neither of you will ever be a real warrior like me. Got it?” 

Petalkit bared her teeth, but before she could reply, Birdsong whipped around, her tail slapping Petalkit across the face.

“Whatever. I’ve got a vigil to do. Because I’m a warrior now, m’kay?” she mewed dismissively, making for the entrance of the camp. Tanglepaw flashed Perchkit and Petalkit a venomous glance before following his friend, while Troutpaw merely shrugged and made for the apprentice’s den. Petalkit furrowed her brow. 

Birdsong said that I and Perchkit are half-clan. If Birdsong is right, then his father must be from outside the clan. But who..?  

“Wow, Petalkit, that was awesome!” Perchkit mewed excitedly, bouncing up besides Petalkit. “You totally showed Birdsong what for!” 

Petalkit nudged him away, but gently as she could.

“Yeah, well, whatever,” she mewed back. “I guess I felt kinda bad for being mean to you earlier. Sorry.” 

She turned and marched away, not giving Perchkit a chance to respond. 

The night of Birdsong’s vigil started out silent. Crickets and frogs, as usual, were the only sounds to be heard, and no cat would’ve given the night a second thought as the moon began to dip towards the horizon.

 That peace didn’t last long, though. Past moonhigh, in the wee hours of the morning, the newly named gray tabby warrior came shrieking into camp, rousing every cat from their nests. Petalkit groggily peeked out of the nursery in time to see Birdsong pushing her face into her former mentor, Rainfall’s, chest fur and blubbering incoherently. The iron tang of blood hung in the air and soon enough, Echosnout bolted from her den over to Birdsong and Rainfall. Determined to know more, Petalkit crept forward, keeping her belly low to the ground.

“Th-th-th-the-” Birdsong was barely able to string a single word together, her whole frame trembling.

“Shhh. It’s okay, Birdsong,” Rainfall soothed her. The senior warrior looked a bit awkward comforting a grown cat, but the care for his former apprentice was evident. 

“Great StarClan, stop yapping!” Echosnout chided. “It’s supposed to be a silent vigil. Birdsong, let me take a look at your head.”

Trembling, Birdsong pulled away from Rainfall’s dark tabby fur. Her ear was ripped in half, and blood ran down the side of her face in a steady stream, covering it almost entirely. Echosnout narrowed her eyes, inspecting the wound closely. 

“Well, good news, it’s a looks a lot worse than it actually is,” Echosnout declared. “A wash and a poultice should have you good as new in a few sunrises.”

Birdsong continued mumbling something quietly. Petalkit spotted Troutpaw and Tanglepaw peeking out of the apprentices’ den, their eyes round in worry.

“What’s going on? Birdsong, why aren’t you standing guard?” The mew of Darkstar was all that indicated her arrival, the leader’s dark pelt blending in with the night. 

“Something attacked her while she was on vigil alone,” Rainfall mewed. Darkstar stiffened, and Petalkit thought she caught a tinge of fear-scent coming from the leader. 

“It-it… I… When the…. I couldn’t… I-I…” Birdsong continued blubbering, and then shook her head, whimpering, pushing her muzzle back into Rainfall’s fur. 

“Birdsong, did you see who attacked you?” Darkstar asked carefully. Birdsong didn’t look up, and merely shook her head. Darkstar turned to the group of warriors watching her.

“Duskwater, Milkfur, Voleflight, go check around camp. If you catch even a whiff of danger, come back to fetch more warriors,” Darkstar instructed them. The three warriors nodded, and the largest of the three, a dark brown tabby tom, led them out of camp. Darkstar then turned to her deputy, who was awaiting directions as well.

“Spiketail, you take Reedshine and Splashfoot to check around camp. Make sure everything is secure,” she instructed. Spiketail nodded and flicked his tail for Reedshine and Splashfoot to follow.

 “Rainfall, you take Birdsong to the Medicine den. Stay with her as long as she needs.” Darkstar mewed next. Rainfall nodded, and then nudged Birdsong away from him gently, so he could lead her to the Medicine den.  

“She needs to wash her wound,” Echosnout interjected.

“She would have to go to the river for that,” Darkstar pointed out. “Outside of camp.”

“NO!!!” Birdsong shrieked, and Rainfall struggled to keep her from running. “DON’T MAKE ME GO OUT THERE!” 

“We shouldn’t send any warriors out until we know the danger is gone,” Darkstar mewed. Then, grimly, she added “Whatever it may be.” 

“Mm,” Echosnout grunted her agreement. “Very well. Cloudpaw!” 

The large white apprentice sidled up to her mentor, awaiting directions. 

“We will soak moss in the stream surrounding the leader’s rock to wash off Birdsong’s face,” Echosnout instructed. “Then we’ll apply the poultice.” 

“Got it, Echosnout!” The white apprentice nodded and took off for the medicine den to prepare Birdsong’s treatment. Not long after, the three warriors Darkstar sent to survey the camp returned through the reed wall, looking unnerved. They headed straight for Darkstar.

“Darkstar, we didn’t see any danger,” the dark brown tabby reported.

“What did you find, Voleflight?” Darkstar asked, a tinge of urgency to her mew. The three cats exchanged an uneasy glance. Voleflight, the brown tabby, stepped forward, his voice low.

“We don’t know,” he admitted. Darkstar flattened her ears.

“What do you mean?” she demanded. 

“It… was a smell we couldn’t recognize,” Voleflight mewed. “Dank, and rotting. Too foul to be a fox.” 

Darkstar turned to the other two warriors, one white and one dark gray she-cat. 

“Milkfur,” the leader spoke to the white she-cat. “You’re the best tracker in our clan. What did you think of the scent?” 

Milkfur shook her head.

“I don’t know, Darkstar. It was masked by Birdsong’s blood. But whatever it was, it undeniably smelled of evil.” Her mew was low and concerned. Petalkit caught the leader shiver with unease, but she kept her tone even.

“Very well,” she mewed. “We’ll send out a more thorough search party when it’s light out. Will the three of you be okay guarding camp for the rest of the night?”

Voleflight, Duskwater, and Milkfur shared a glance, before Voleflight nodded. 

“Of course, Darkstar,” Voleflight dipped his head. “We’ll let you know the second we see anything unusual.” 

The three warriors padded back towards the entrance, and Petalkit noticed Darkstar watching them, her tail flicking anxiously.

Chapter Text

Petalkit bunted her paw against Perchkit’s head.

“Hey. Psst. Perchkit,” she whispered. Perchkit groaned, shifting in his nest, burying his face in Eeltail’s long tabby fur.

“Grrrgh,” he grumbled. “Go awaaaaay, I’masleepin…” 

“Wake up Perchkit!!!” Petalkit hissed louder, not wanting to wake Eeltail. “Wake up or I’ll knock over your rock pile!” 

Perchkit’s head shot up immediately.

“No!!” He wailed. Eeltail flinched in her sleep, but didn’t stir any further. Petalkit shushed him urgently. 

“Shush!” Be quiet!” she hissed at him. 

“Don’t touch my rock pile!” Perchkit hissed back. “I worked very hard to set it up the way it is!” 

Petalkit glanced back to Perchkit’s rock pile in the corner of the nursery. The pretty white and gold rock he found at the shallows was positioned front and center, so all visitors to the nursery could admire its beauty.

“I wasn’t gonna,” Petalkit huffed. “I just wanted you to wake up.” 

Perchkit frowned at her. 

“That’s not very nice, Petalkit.” He mewed. 

“Yeah, well, I wanna do something nice, but I need your help!” Petalkit mewed back. She gestured to the nest Eeltail and Perchkit slept in, which was interwoven with feathers and shells. “Reedshine is moving here today. To the nursery. I wanna build her a nest.” 

Perchkit raised an eyebrow, and Petalkit swallowed her pride to continue with the statement. 

“So I need you to show me how to weave in the shiny things. Or whatever,” Petalkit muttered. “Okay? Okay. Now come help me find shells.” 

“I can’t,” Perchpaw hissed to her. “Today’s my apprentice ceremony, remember?”

Petalkit blinked at him in surprise. 

“Really?” she asked.

“Yes!” Perchkit hissed, though he was exasperated there was a tinge of excitement in his mew. “And I wanna be well rested for it, okay? Go ask somebody else to help you build a nest!”

Petalkit thought her denmate was being uncharacteristically rule-abiding, but left him alone anyways. 

He probably wants to impress Darkstar, Petalkit thought. She’ll finally have to pay attention to him. 

Petalkit peeked out of the nursery. The sky was overcast and a light breeze blew through her whiskers, chilling the camp. Petalkit crept out into the clearing, feeling the coldness of the morning bite through her fur. The nursery was so thick-walled that the inside was muggy and warm, but outside there was sparse frost on the grass underpaw that prickled her pads before melting into cold dew. After getting a cool drink from the reed bed, Petalkit spotted Darkstar instructing a group of warriors.

“I will stay here with Reedshine, Rainfall, and Eeltail to guard the camp in case Birdsong’s attacker returns,” she mewed. “Spiketail, take Voleflight, Duskwater, Milkfur, Appledusk, and Splashfoot to patrol. Don’t take any chances, I want you all to stick together.”

Spiketail nodded to his leader before flicking his tail, leading the patrol out of camp. Then, Petalkit saw Troutpaw creep out of the apprentice’s den, approaching the leader nervously.

“Er, pardon me, Darkstar, but shouldn’t Tanglepaw and I go with our mentors?” the gray apprentice asked meekly. Darkstar didn’t reply right away, her eyes fixed on the entrance where the patrol retreated moments before. After a moment she blinked, turning her head slowly to the gray apprentice, her eyes full of the same glazed, unfocused look Petalkit saw her wear in her den. 

“No, Troutpaw,” Darkstar finally mewed. “Your courage is admirable, but I don’t want to endanger any cats unnecessarily. Nobody else is leaving camp until I’m sure our territory is safe.” 

Before Troutpaw could protest, Darkstar turned and ambled back towards her den. Her tail dragged in the dirt and she stumbled over a root, almost losing her footing. Troutpaw watched her tail disappear slowly into the den, and then let out a deep sigh. 

“What’d she say?” Tanglepaw came up next to Troutpaw. 

“She wants everyone else to stay in camp,” Troutpaw mewed. “So I guess we should go change the elders’ nests.” 

“Did she tell you to do that?” Tanglepaw wrinkled his nose. 

“No,” Troutpaw replied. “But we probably should anyways. She seemed a bit… distracted.” 

“Whatever, she’s probably just nervous, since-” Tanglepaw began, but Troutpaw glanced towards Petalkit quickly, and then swatted Tanglepaw over the ears. 

“Shush! Not in front of a kit!” Troutpaw hissed anxiously. Petalkit flattened her ears indignantly. 

“I’m almost an apprentice!” she squeaked. Tanglepaw just scoffed and trotted away towards the elders’ den with an irritated flick of his tail, but Troutpaw tipped his head at her curiously.

“Really?” he asked, studying Petalkit closely. “Huh. I guess you are getting pretty big. You look a lot like Appledusk. He’s your dad, right?”

Petalkit shifted on her paws uncomfortably.

“Yeah…” she mewed. “He, um, doesn’t visit me much.” 

“Hm,” Troutpaw whisked his tail, looking a bit uncomfortable. “That’s unfortunate. Anyways, I have to help Tanglepaw clean the elders’ den, so…”

The apprentice slid away, following in his denmate’s pawsteps towards the elders’ den. Petalkit lashed her tail in annoyance. 

How am I gonna decorate a nest for Reedshine if nobody wants to talk to me? She thought. Whatever, I’ll just do it on my own. If a bunch of fish-faces can do it, surely I can do it too. 

Petalkit crept towards the warrior’s den. She gave it a quick sniff, and then peeked inside, relieved to see it was currently empty. She slid through the entrance, letting her eyes adjust to the darkness. The den was slightly chilly, with no cats inside to keep it warm. All the warriors were guarding camp, or out on the patrol to search for Birdsong’s attacker. 

 The Warriors’ den was larger than it looked from the outside; with many nests clustered together towards the center and back. Several of the nests had small a small object or two placed in or around them; a pretty rock, a shell, or some other shiny thing. A small area near the entrance remained clear, for cats to stretch and wash in the mornings.

Sniffing the nests, Petalkit was able to identify some of the scents. Appledusk, Spiketail, and one nest with the stale, faint scent of Eeltail. Close to the back was a nest with Reedshine’s scent; it was up against the den wall, and there were shells and feathers woven both into the nest and the wall of the den. However, the wall to the den was slightly frayed, as if it’d been raked with claws. Narrowing her eyes, Petalkit approached the wall, studying the feathers and shells, trying to work out how they’d been intertwined with the reeds making up the den’s structure. After what Petalkit felt was several minutes, she thought she’d seen enough, and crept back out of the warrior’s den. She must have stayed too long, though, because she bumped into a cat on her way out of the Warriors’ den. 

“You’re not supposed to be in there,” came a familiar deep, rumbly mew. Petalkit cringed and glanced upwards, laying eyes on the light brown pelt that was near identical to her own. 

“Appledusk!” Petalkit mewed, lowering her belly to the ground and flattening her ears. Her father was narrowing his bright green eyes at her, green eyes that she shared as well. Or did her eyes look more like her mother’s? Both of them had green eyes. She realized with a jolt that Mapleshade’s face was beginning to grow fuzzy in her memory. 

“What were you doing in the Warriors’ den?” Appledusk asked her coldly. 

“I was, um,” Petalkit stammered, fidgeting nervously. Should I tell him the truth? He would probably yell at me again… 

She didn’t have time to make a choice though, because Appledusk rolled his eyes and scoffed with boredom, nosing past Petalkit and into the den. She watched him amble into a nest far away from Reedshine’s. He circled the nest a few times before settling his sturdy form down to rest. Petalkit quickly scooted away from the Warriors’ den, not eager to be caught there by another warrior. She bounded to the reed bed, nosing her way into the plants. She was careful to keep her paws out of the water as she nipped the stalks, pulling them out of the ground. After a while, Petalkit gathered a sizable bundle of reeds. She closed her jaws around the mass and trotted towards the nursery, glancing around to make sure no cat saw her. When she slipped back inside the warm den, she saw that Eeltail and Perchkit were still sound asleep. As quietly as she could, Petalkit set down the bundle of reeds, and then slipped back out. She poked around in the reed bed, but after several moments of searching, she was unable to find anything to decorate the nest with. So, instead, she made for the fresh-kill pile, feeling her belly grumble with morning hunger. She nosed through the mound of prey, trying not to gag at the fish smell, but soon enough she found a small thrush.

Perfect!

Petalkit dragged the thrush out of the pile and brought it back to the nursery. She knew it’d be easier to work on a full stomach, and she needed feathers from the thrush, so first she plucked out as many of the largest feathers from the bird as she could manage, and then quickly ate the prey.

After Petalkit buried the prey bones outside, she quickly set to work, occasionally glancing at the other nests in the nursery, studying how the reeds were woven together. 

“Good grief, what are you doing?” Petalkit was jolted out of her trance by Perchkit’s grumble. The dark gray tabby was rolled over, his face hanging over the side of his and Eeltail’s nest. 

“I’m weaving a nest for Reedshine,” Petalkit mewed defensively. She took a step back to inspect her handiwork.

It wasn’t very good. The woven strands were loose and messy, and the shape sagged as a result. The feathers stuck out at odd angles, and their dull brown color didn’t stand out well from the yellowing reeds. 

“She won’t want to sleep on that!” Perchkit snorted. Then, his voice softened. “But, um, not bad for a first try, I guess.” 

Petalkit twitched her tail in annoyance. She’d imagined the nest would look a lot better. 

“It feels like it’s missing something,” Petalkit narrowed her eye, sniffing at the lopsided, lumpy nest she’d woven. 

“Moss and down,” Perchkit mewed. “But you’re in luck, because after my apprentice ceremony, I’ll be able to bring you some!” 

Petalkit pricked her ears. 

“Really?” She asked. “That’s really nice of you, Perchkit.”

“Well, duh,” Perchkit rolled his eyes. “It’s what apprentices are for!” 

As if on cue, Eeltail roused from her sleep, standing up and arching her back in a long stretch. 

“Good morning kits!” she mewed sleepily. She then caught a glimpse of Petalkit’s handiwork, and her eyes lit up. “Petalkit! When did you make that?”

“Just now!” Petalkit puffed up her chest proudly. “It’s for Reedshine! She’s moving to the nursery.” 

Eeltail blinked, tipping her head to one side. 

“What? Why?” the queen asked. 

“She’s gonna have kits!” Petalkit chirped. “So, she’ll be here with us!” 

“But not me,” Perchkit reminded her. “I’m goin’ to the apprentices den tonight.” 

“Speaking of…” Eeltail pulled Perchkit close with a paw and began grooming him, running her raspy tongue through his long, thick fur. 

“Hey! I look fine!” Perchkit protested, trying to wriggle away. 

“No you don’t,” Eeltail mewed firmly. “I need to get rid of your nest-fur! Your pelt is sticking all over the place like a hedgehog’s quills.” 

“No!!” Perchkit continued wriggling. Petalkit turned back to Reedshine’s nest, continuing to fiddle with the woven strands and feathers. She furrowed her brow, displeased with her own work. All the other nests were so tightly woven and neatly shaped, it had looked so easy! 

“Let all cats old enough to swim gather around the center island for a clan meeting!” Darkstar’s mew got Petalkit to finally leave the nest alone. She crept out of the entrance, and heard a rustling behind her.

“Not yet, Perchkit!” Eeltail warned. “Wait until the leader calls you!”

“But Petalkit’s going!” Perchkit whined.

“It’s not her apprentice ceremony!” Eeltail replied.

Petalkit bounded to the gathering crowd of cats. She quickly spotted Reedshine’s dark ginger pelt and settled next to the soon-to-be queen, who turned to the kit in surprise.

“Petalkit!” Reedshine mewed in a low voice. “How did you sleep?” 

“Good, but I-” Petalkit began, eager to tell her friend that she had a surprise for her in the nursery. However, Darkstar was beginning the ceremony, and Reedshine brushed her plumy tail over Petalkit’s mouth to silence her.

“Later, Petalkit!” she purred.

Petalkit turned to see Perchkit strutting out of the nursery, his pelt sleek and glossy in the pale morning sun. Eeltail followed not far behind, and the crowd parted, allowing the two cats to walk to the center. Eeltail settled at the edge of the crowd, raising her head upwards with pride. Perchkit kept walking, and then tipped his head back to gaze up at his mother. Darkstar stood on the large rock of the center island, her dark pelt contrasting starkly with the light sky. 

“Perchkit, you have reached the age of six moons,” The leader began. “You are ready to begin your apprenticeship.”

Perchkit watched her, with a look bordering on hunger in his eyes. He looked excited, but also so, so desperate. 

“From this moment on, until you receive your warrior name, you will be known as Perchpaw.” Darkstar continued. “Appledusk!”

The light brown warrior, sitting at the front of the crowd near Eeltail, snapped to attention. He rose to his paws, striding over to Perchpaw. Petalkit felt a twinge of worry, mixed with jealousy. Her father was going to mentor Perchpaw!

What if he ignores Perchpaw like he ignores me? She thought, but abruptly tried to push the idea away. No, he wouldn’t do that. He’s a loyal warrior. 

“Appledusk, you are a strong, noble warrior,” Darkstar mewed. Then, her eyes glinted. “You are eager to prove your place in RiverClan. I am offering you a chance to strengthen your loyalty, by teaching young Perchpaw. Pass on all of your bravery and skill to him.” 

Appledusk nodded to Darkstar, his steely gaze unreadable. Then, he turned to Perchpaw, and touched noses with the apprentice. 

“Perchpaw! Perchpaw!” 

The clan yowled the new apprentice’s name, celebrating his change in rank. Petalkit tossed her head back and joined in, relishing in the ceremony’s infectious excitement.

Besides, he’s been nice to me, Petalkit thought to herself. I should probably be nice back, even if he is an annoying fish-brain…

She didn’t even catch herself instinctually using RiverClan terminology, this time. 

After the yowls died down, several cats trotted to Perchpaw to greet him. First was Troutpaw, who mewed something encouraging while giving Perchpaw a friendly nudge. He then bounded off to join Tanglepaw and their mentors, Duskwater and Voleflight, to go on patrol. Petalkit padded closer as Eeltail moved in, fussing over Perchpaw affectionately.

“Oh, I’m so proud of you!” she mewed warmly. “I just know you’re going to great things for RiverClan, Perchpaw!” 

But Petalkit noticed Perchpaw wasn’t paying much attention to Eeltail. She followed his gaze, to see him staring at Darkstar. The leader had just leapt down from the rock on the center island. She was standing several fox lengths away. Again, Petalpaw noticed the leader’s gaze had clouded over, and her tail held low to the ground. She was staring directly at Perchpaw. She raised one forepaw, as if she were about to take a step forward. But then, she hesitated, and turned to trudge numbly back towards her den. Watching her go, Perchpaw’s tail drooped. Petalkit bounded forward instead, to try and raise her former denmate’s spirits.

“Great job, Perchpaw!” Petalkit chirped, trying her best to sound upbeat. “You gotta tell me all about your first day of training, OK?”

Perchpaw’s ears pricked, and he had his mouth open to reply when a large shadow cast itself over the two young cats.

“Perchpaw,” Appledusk mewed curtly. Petalkit instinctually shrank in on herself, wrapping her tail around her paws, looking away from her father. She still felt embarrassed about his scolding from earlier. “You mustn’t waste time playing with kits. You’re an apprentice now, remember?” 

Perchpaw looked between Petalkit and Appledusk, momentarily conflicted. Then, he turned back to his mentor.

“O-of course, Appledusk! I’m ready to start training right away!” His mew wavered at first, but he shook it off quickly. Appledusk flicked his tail and turned for the camp’s exit, Perchpaw trotting behind him quickly. 

“Those two will be an interesting combination,” came Reedshine’s mew. Petalkit turned to see her friend settling beside her, watching Appledusk and Perchpaw leave camp. She had a hard glint to her eyes, her brows furrowed with intrigue. 

“Are you mad Appledusk got an apprentice first?” Petalkit asked. Reedshine shook her head.

“No,” Reedshine mewed. “I just… Hope Perchpaw will be alright.” 

Petalkit wasn’t quite sure what Reedshine meant. Surely Appledusk would be a good mentor!

“Anyways, Petalkit, you were trying to tell me something earlier. What was it?” Reedshine asked, changing the subject briskly. Petalkit’s ears perked up and she leapt to her paws, suddenly remembering the nest. 

“Oh, yeah!” Petalkit mewed excitedly. “Follow me, Reedshine! I’ve got something to show you!”

Petalkit shot off towards the nursery, hearing Reedshine’s soft pawsteps behind her. She was eager to see how Reedshine would adjust to her new life in the nursery. 

Chapter Text

Petalkit bounced forward, leading Reedshine towards the nursery. Excitement fizzed in her belly, but it was tinged with apprehension. She knew the nest she wove wasn’t very good. What if Reedshine hated it? What if she yelled at Petalkit for being foolish and wasting time?

No, Reedshine wouldn’t do that, Petalkit tried to reassure herself. Appledusk, maybe. But not Reedshine!

Petalkit scuttled into the nursery, Reedshine following behind her, purring in amusement. The dark ginger warrior had her eyes shut, holding Petalkit’s tail in her mouth gently so the kit could lead her to the surprise. 

“Okay, you can look now!” Petalkit swished her tail, and Reedshine let it go. The warrior opened her eyes, and her ears pricked with interest. Her eyes fell on the ratty, lumpy nest, and she was silent for a few moments. 

“Oh Petalkit,” Reedshine mewed. “It’s… ah,”

“It’s for you!” Petalkit mewed. “It’s your nest!” 

Reedshine blinked, momentary confusion in her eyes. Petalkit felt anxious, until Reedshine broke into an amused purr.

“Did you make it all by yourself?” she asked. 

“Yes!” Petalkit mewed proudly. Then, she shrank a little. “Is it okay?” 

“It’s lovely,” Reedshine brushed her tail over the kit’s back. “And you did a wonderful job, all on your own. But I think it might need a little more work!” 

“Oh… so it’s not good?” Petalkit’s ears drooped, feeling the rejection burning under her pelt. “I’m sorry.”

“No, no, Petalkit! It’s very good!” Reedshine mewed. “But we can make it better!” 

Petalkit tipped her head to one side, watching as Reedshine sat beside the nest. With nimble, practiced motions, she began working some of the strands together more tightly. She was careful never to pull out any of the strands, only to add on to what Petalkit had already done. Petalkit watched her work, mesmerized. Soon enough, a pawpad-sized section of the nest’s side was woven together into beautiful, uniform rows of tightly interlocking reed strands. Petalkit brushed her paw against the newly woven section, noticing how much sturdier it felt.

“It’s so beautiful!” Petalkit mewed.

“Want me to show you how?” Reedshine asked. Petalkit bounced on her paws.

“Yes!” she exclaimed. “And how did you get so good at it?!” 

Reedshine chuffed with laughter.

“Eeltail and I were obsessed with nest weaving when we were apprentices,” she mewed. “Our mentors were always yelling at us to get out of the nursery and work on our hunting skills!”

Petalkit glanced over to Eeltail and Perchpaw’s nest. She recognized similar patterns in the nest’s sides as those Reedshine demonstrated. Even after moons of being slept in, the nest was still in excellent condition, and its near-perfect woven pattern was mesmerizing to look at. Petalkit had never stopped to think about it much; the ThunderClan nests she’d slept in weren’t poorly constructed, but she wouldn’t consider them beautiful, either . 

“I wanna learn how!” Petalkit lashed her tail determinedly. “Show me!” 

Reedshine squinted her eyes in amusement, and then gestured with her tail for Petalkit to sit next to her. The queen walked her through the motions of intertwining the strands, getting them to lock together so tightly they surely could support a cat’s weight.

“Hey, Reedshine, Petalkit!” Eeltail poked her silver tabby head into the nursery. Reedshine and Petalkit turned around, jolted from their feverish weaving. The two cats had sat in silence for much of the afternoon, working to rehabilitate Petalkit’s wonky first attempt at nest construction.

“Hello, Eeltail,” Reedshine dipped her head to Eeltail, who padded over. The two she-cats touched muzzles in a friendly greeting. “How are you feeling now that Perchkit is out of your fur?”

“Oh, he was a pawful, but I’m going to miss him!” Eeltail sighed, her gaze wandering onto the partially-woven nest. Her eyes lit up in delight. “Reedshine! You didn’t tell me you were getting back into weaving!”

“It was a little spur-of-the-moment,” Reedshine mewed, whisking her tail. Did she sound a bit embarrassed? 

“Well, you’ve still got the claws for it, that’s for sure,” Eeltail sniffed at Reedshine’s side of the nest. “And Petalkit, you’ve already improved a lot!” 

Petalkit puffed up her chest with pride.

“She’s a quick learner,” Reedshine mewed approvingly. “She’ll make an excellent apprentice!” 

“Unless she picks up your learning habits,” Eeltail teased. “Remember all the times Darkstar scolded you for wandering off to pick reeds?” 

Petalkit’s jaw dropped.

“Darkstar was your mentor?!” she mewed in surprise. 

“Yes!” Reedshine replied. “Though, she wasn’t even deputy yet when she mentored me. I was her first apprentice, I think.”

“How many apprentices has she had?” Eeltail mewed thoughtfully. “Rainfall too, right? Duskwater? And Splashfoot? Actually, wasn’t Rainfall her first apprentice?” 

“I think it’s safe to assume she mentored half the clan,” Reedshine shook her head, purring in amusement. 

“Why did she have so many apprentices?” Petalkit asked. “Mapleshade said she only ever had one! I don’t remember who it was, though.” 

“Darkstar’s a bit of a workaholic,” Eeltail mewed. “She likes to keep busy. Always believes there’s more she could be doing.”

“It makes her a good leader,” Reedshine agreed. “Well, it did…” 

“You should weave her a new nest,” Eeltail mewed. “I saw the state of her current one. It’s atrocious. Does Spiketail have fluff between his ears?”

“Spiketail?” Reedshine tipped her head to one side. “Why him?”

Eeltail rolled her eyes.

“C’mon Reedshine, you know there’s something going on between those two!” Eeltail whispered conspiratorially, leaning close to Reedshine. Petalkit narrowed her eyes, and then slid to the entrance of the nursery. She poked her head out and spotted Darkstar across camp, laying on the center island, catching the last rays of the setting sun. Spiketail sat beside the rock at attention, swiveling his head around the camp. When he made eye contact with Petalkit, he gave her a friendly nod.

“They’re just siting close to each other,” Petalkit mewed, returning to the gossiping she-cats. “It looks pretty normal.”

“But he follows her around so much!” Eeltail mused, not acknowledging Petalkit. “Surely, he likes her!” 

“He’s a bit old for her, though,” Reedshine replied. “Right?”

Eeltail shook her head in disagreement. 

“I don’t think he’s that much older than her. Five seasons, maybe? Besides, Darkstar’s no spring chicken either…” she muttered. 

“What’s a chicken?” Petalkit interrupted. 

“Well, I don’t think Darkstar is interested in mates,” Reedshine mewed. Then, after a pause, she added. “...Or kits.”

“Hey!” Petalkit mewed loudly, swishing her tail in annoyance at being ignored. “I’m here too, you know!” 

Both she-cats turned to look at Petalkit, Eeltail looked a bit embarrassed, but Reedshine just leaned forward and gave Petalkit a lick on the head.

“Sorry, Petalkit,” Reedshine mewed. “Us old queens get lost in our gossip sometimes.” 

“Speaking of,” Eeltail mewed. “I’m going to re-join the warriors until your kits are born. I’ve been itching for some action the last moon, and you’ll have Petalkit for company. Is that okay?” 

“Of course!” Reedshine nodded. “If you want to stay longer that’s fine, too. I can handle them.”

“You don’t even know how many you’re going to have!” Eeltail teased. “What if you have five? Or six?” 

“Cats can’t have six kits in one litter,” Reedshine rolled her eyes. 

“I’ve heard tales of kittypets having nine!” Eeltail retorted. “You never know!”

“Well then I’d better get some sleep. And teach Petalkit more nest-weaving, so there’s somewhere for all nine of my kits to sleep,” Reedshine mewed. 

“Are you really gonna have nine kits?” Petalkit asked, eyes wide. 

“No,” Reedshine mewed, giving Petalkit a lick on the head. “We’re just being silly.” 

“Well, Echosnout might be able to give you some ideas on your litter size soon,” Eeltail mewed. She rose from her position, and padded back to the nursery entrance. “In the meantime, I’m going on the dusk patrol with Spiketail. It’ll be nice to get out into the territory again. And I’m going to try and get to the bottom of him and Darkstar!” 

Reedshine rolled her eyes playfully, giving a friendly tail wave to Eeltail as the silver tabby exited the nursery. Then, she turned back to the nest.

“Petalkit, want to see my favorite type of weave pattern?” she asked the kit. 

The sun was below the horizon, casting the camp in a rich, dark blue when Perchpaw returned to camp. Petalkit spotted him pushing his way through the entrance, followed by Appledusk, as she pulled a water vole from the fresh-kill pile. The dark tabby apprentice was carrying a bundle of moss and down in his jaws. Petalkit waved her tail at him in excitement, eager to show him the nest she and Reedshine wove. However, he made only brief eye contact with her, before averting his eyes and veering off towards the elders’ den. Tail drooping, Petalkit watched him go. She didn’t notice Appledusk nosing around on the fresh-kill pile until he spoke to her.

“Don’t distract him,” Appledusk grunted. “He’s got important apprentice duties.” 

“But he promised he would give me moss and down!” Petalkit mewed meekly, not making eye contact with her father. 

“That moss was for the elders’ bedding,” Appledusk mewed tersely. “Not for some kit to play with.”

Petalkit’s heart sank. Was she just some kit to him?

“It was for Reedshine’s nest!” Petalkit mewed halfheartedly. “In the nursery!”

To Petalkit’s surprise, Appledusk pricked his ears in interest.

“The nursery?” he asked. 

“Um, well,” Petalkit stammered. “I made Reedshine a nest, ‘cuz she’s moving to the nursery, a-and she’s going to have kits… and I wanted her nest to be-”

Appledusk didn’t wait for Petalkit to finish.

“Reedshine is having kits?!” He mewed fiercely. “With who?!” 

“U-um,” Petalkit fought to keep the fur on her spine from prickling. “She said, well… she said that you’re um, the dad…”

Appledusk’s eyes lit up with… joy? It was the happiest Petalkit had ever seen her father. She felt dread in the pit of her belly. Were her fears correct? Would Appledusk like Reedshine’s kits better than her? He began to plod towards the nursery, but Eeltail flash-stepped in front of him. 

“Not so fast, Appledusk,” she mewed. “Reedshine’s gone to sleep.” 

“So?” Appledusk scoffed. “I have a right to see her. She’s carrying my kits.”

“Which is why she needs her rest,” Eeltail mewed, not moving from the nursery entrance. “You can come and visit her tomorrow, if she wants to see you.”

“What do you mean if?” Appledusk demanded. “She’s my mate. Of course she wants to see me!” 

Eeltail tacitly avoided commenting on that. Instead, she just nudged him away.

“Well, then she’ll be overjoyed to speak with you, tomorrow,” she insisted, more stern than Petalkit ever heard the silver warrior. 

“Listen to Eeltail,” came Darkstar’s mew. The leader approached Appledusk, confidently holding her tail high. “It will do no cat any good to disturb Reedshine’s rest now. She and the kits will still be there in the morning.”

Appledusk narrowed his eyes and lashed his tail, glaring at Darkstar.

“I wouldn’t expect you to understand anything about kit-rearing,” his mutter barely audible. “Filthy, rogue-loving-” 

“What was that?” Darkstar challenged him. Though anger flashed in her eyes, she kept her tone dangerously even. 

“Nothing,” Appledusk mumbled, his ears pinned back. He stared at the ground angrily, as if trying to bore holes in it with his eyes.

“Are you unhappy with the apprentice you’ve been assigned?” Darkstar questioned the light brown tom, fixing him in her icy blue gaze. 

“No, Darkstar,” Appledusk muttered through gritted teeth. “Perchpaw is a wonderful apprentice who shows great promise.” 

Petalkit thought he sounded a bit insincere, as if he were mocking the leader. She was surprised Darkstar didn’t lunge at Appledusk with claws unsheathed; Oakstar certainly wouldn’t let any cat mouth off like this to him. However, Petalkit had to admire Darkstar’s patience. The leader merely flicked her tail, gesturing Appledusk away from the nursery. The light brown tom muttered as he stalked over to the fresh-kill pile, resuming his search for a suitable trout. Giving Appledusk a wide berth, Petalkit ambled over to the nursery, having finished her water vole. 

“Is he gone?” came a quiet voice from inside, and Petalkit spotted the dark ginger head of Reedshine, just barely poking out.

“Yeah,” Eeltail murmured. 

“Sorry I told him you were expecting kits,” Petalkit mewed to Reedshine, dropping her head. “I didn’t think he’d come over and try to bother you about it.” 

“It’s okay, Petalkit,” Reedshine mewed quietly. “He would’ve found out pretty soon, anyways.” 

“You should be getting some rest,” Darkstar mewed to Reedshine. “Pregnancy is… not easy. But, er… Congratulations.” 

The leader turned to walk back to her den without another word. Eeltail and Reedshine watched her go, before Eeltail gave a friendly tail wave goodbye to Reedshine, who retreated back into the nursery. Petalkit pushed her way in as well, seeing Reedshine settled into the nest the two of them wove together. Reedshine had dragged it over next to Petalkit’s nest, and the kit gladly climbed into hers, circling a few times before settling down. 

Petalkit trotted through a sunny field, the warm rays bathing her pelt. Lush, green grass grew up just past her paws, tickling her legs as she walked. Beautiful, fragrant feathers sprouted around her, with fat yellow bumblebees buzzing lazily between them. In the distance she could see trees sprouting towards the blue sky overhead, dotted with the occasional fluffy white cloud.

It was a beautiful day, for sure. But Petalkit couldn’t remember how she’d gotten to this wonderful field. She thought that, just maybe, she heard a muffled sound coming from behind her. The quiet grunts of a cat sobbing to themself.

The grass rustled, and a mouse shot by in front of Petalkit, disappearing into a nearby clump of ferns. Her ears perked and her muscles tensed, the strange sound disappearing. Instinctually, Petalkit dropped into the hunter’s crouch. How exactly she knew this technique evaded her thoughts as she deftly crept forward. The mouse eventually came to a rest, nosing around in the grass for some seeds. Petalkit stalked towards the mouse, keeping her tail even with the ground, just as every ThunderClan cat learned. Her mentor would be proud.

Who was that again?

Her thoughts were interrupted by a crunching sound. Beneath her paw, broad and bright orange, was a maple leaf. The mouse’s head popped up, and it gave a squeak of fear before shooting off again. Petalkit was ready this time, though, and gave chase. She hared across the seemingly endless field, paws pounding the soil, the thrill of the chase coursing through every hair on her pelt. The mouse turned and began climbing a hill. Petalkit didn’t recall there being a hill in the field. She didn’t question it, though, and climbed after her prey. As she climbed the hill, a chilly breeze ruffled her pelt. Cloud gathered above her, darkening the sky as she crested the hill, stopping in front of a towering maple tree. Its leaves, orange at first, began withering and falling away, dropping to the ground around her and decaying into dirt. The mouse scuttled into a burrow at the base of the tree, out of Petalkit’s sight. Then, she looked up at the tree’s trunk, and felt her fur bush out in fear.

A large, black bird was mounted on the trunk. It was dead. Surely, it was dead. Enormous claws, seemingly ripped from the paws of a cat ten times her size, drove through its outspread wings, wings the width of a full grown cat, and its belly was slashed open. The bird’s carcass was rotting, putrid flesh covered in writhing maggots in some place, dry, exposed bone in others. A foul stench radiated off it in waves. Petalkit felt her belly roil with fear and nausea as she stumbled backwards, trying to rip her eyes away from the gruesome display. The wind grew to a deafening howl, fat raindrops pricking her fur, but underneath it she could hear muffled sobs. Scrambling back, Petalkit’s hindpaw caught on a stone, and suddenly-

Petalkit jolted awake. She was back in RiverClan’s nursery, laying in her nest, cocooned in warm down and moss. Her heart pounded in her chest. It was just a dream! She panted out a ragged sigh of relief. Still, though… the sour stench lingered on the roof of her mouth. She stood and shook out her pelt, trying to calm herself down. Then, she heard a quiet sobbing, the same strange sound she’d heard in her dream. She turned to see Reedshine’s back. The dark ginger queen faced toward the nursery wall, curled in around herself, her body shaking as she sobbed quietly. Petalkit could see Reedshine’s ears pinned back against her head. Slowly, the kit crept out of her nest, trying to make as little sound as possible. However, she stepped on a twig, and Reedshine’s head snapped around, showing wide fearful eyes glistening with grief in the moonlight. Petalkit felt her heart clench. Her memory of Mapleshade had grown worryingly fuzzy, but one thing she could remember was her mother’s terrified face when they trudged out of ThunderClan camp for the last time.

 Wordlessly, Petalkit climbed out of her own nest, and clumsily wriggled her way into Reedshine’s. The fresh moss and down cradled her gently, and it felt so, so good to have the warmth of another cat against her again. Even though she was quickly approaching Reedshine’s size, she could almost pretend she was curled in the crook of her biological mother’s belly. 

But there was no fear here, no worry that the leader would shout or curse or throw her family out. Petalkit met Reedshine’s eyes, the queen looking surprised. Petalkit swallowed the worry that she offended her friend, and stuck her neck out, giving Reedshine a comforting lick on top of the head, purring deep in her throat as her mother once had, to calm Petalkit and her littermates down. Reedshine’s eyes welled with emotion and she wrapped her plumy tail around the young kit protectively, the two cats drifting to sleep in each others’ embrace. 

Chapter Text

Petalkit awoke to cold, early-morning sunlight filtering through the nursery entrance. Reedshine sat a few paces away, giving her long, dark ginger fur a good washing. The queen twisted, running her raspy tongue over her side, and Petalkit noticed that her belly looked a bit rounder, though it was hard to tell under her long fur. Petalkit stood up and stretched, arching her back and curling up her tail to work all the stiffness out of her spine. 

“Good morning, Petalkit!” Reedshine greeted her. “Feeling well rested?” 

Petalkit was a bit taken aback, the sorrow so evident in Reedshine’s eyes the previous night was entirely gone. 

“Why aren’t you sad anymore?” Petalkit asked. Reedshined shrugged and drew a paw over her ear lazily. She was completely unaffected, except for the twitching of her tailtip.

“I wasn’t sad, Petalkit,” her tone was even. “I just felt a bit funny.” 

“You looked pretty sad,” Petalkit mewed. “I didn’t like it.” 

“She-cats just act strange when they’re pregnant,” Reedshine assured her calmly. “I promise, I’m not sad, okay?” 

Petalkit didn’t feel entirely satisfied by that answer, but accepted it anyways. The dark-ginger queen flicked her tail over Petalkit’s head. 

“Let’s get a bite from the fresh-kill pile now, hm?” she asked playfully. “I heard Appledusk leave with Perchpaw for dawn patrol earlier, so he won’t bother us.” 

Reedshine turned and padded for the entrance, not waiting for Petalkit to protest. The kit scampered to catch up, then slowing to a trot as she came up on Reedshine’s side. The dark ginger queen nodded a greeting to several cats as she crossed the camp, before nosing through the fresh-kill pile. She picked out a nice carp for herself, while Petalkit had to search to find a water vole. They settled down together in a warm patch of sunshine, eating their meal. Both cats were silent as they took famished bites, but eventually Reedshine broke the silence.

“What was Mapleshade like?” she asked. Petalkit paused, caught off guard. 

“Why?” Petalkit asked, trying to keep the sadness out of her voice. “It doesn’t really matter, ‘cause she’s not here anymore.”

“Well, she was important to you, wasn’t she?” Reedshine continued between bites of fish. Petalkit swiped her tongue around her jaws, licking some bits of blood from her whiskers.

“She was big and strong,” Petalkit murmured. “A lot of cats respected her, before they found out Appledusk was my- uh, our dad.”

She fumbled her words, realizing she nearly forgot Patchkit and Larchkit. 

“What was it like in the ThunderClan nursery?” Reedshine asked. “I take it you didn’t do much nest weaving in ThunderClan.”

Petalkit shifted on her paws, unsure how to respond.

“I dunno,” she explained, trying to conjure the memories. “Warm, and soft, and… Well, we played mossball a lot. Nettlepaw often played with us.” 

“Nettlepaw?” Reedshine tipped her head. 

“He’s an apprentice in ThunderClan,” Petalkit mumbled. “Or, maybe he isn’t one anymore. I don’t really remember him that well. He was orange, though. I think he might have been Mapleshade’s kin.” 

“Did you know any of your kin in ThunderClan, besides Mapleshade?” Reedshine mewed. Petalkit whisked her tail.

“Why are you asking so many questions?” Petalkit asked. Reedshine purred in amusement.

“I’m just curious, Petalkit,” she replied warmly. “You’ve learned a lot about RiverClan. I don’t know anything about ThunderClan, though. It’s interesting to hear.” 

“Oh,” Petalkit mewed quietly. “I guess I thought I should always hate the other clans. Not be interested in them.” 

“Well, the clans have their rivalries,” Reedshine sighed. “We’re all proud of who we are. And you know better than anyone what happens when we get too friendly with each other. But I think the hatred is a bit… overblown, sometimes. We forget that we’re all just cats.”

“Oakstar always taught ThunderClan that we needed to hate the other clans,” Petalkit mewed. “He got so mad when he found out that Appledusk is my father. He said Appledusk killed, um… well, Appledusk killed somebody important. I don’t remember who.” 

“Birchface, I think it was. And Birchface’s apprentice, Flowerpaw?” Reedshine guessed. “I remember that too. It was more of an accident though, really. Birchface fell off Sunningrocks and into the river, and his apprentice followed him.” 

Petalkit shivered, remembering her own time falling into the river.  

“Mapleshade told Oakstar that Birchface was our papa,” Petalkit mewed. “Oakstar thought we were his kin. And so did I. And Frecklewish.”

“Frecklewish?” Reedshine tipped her head. “I don’t think I’ve met her at gatherings.” 

“She’s a big golden tabby,” Petalkit tried her best to remember the ThunderClan she-cat who visited Mapleshade in the nursery. “Though, I think she’s more spotted than striped. Birchface was her littermate, and she missed him so much. She kinda acted like a second mother to us.”

“Did Frecklewish get along with Mapleshade?” Reedshine asked. Petalkit furrowed her brow, thinking back to her time in the ThunderClan nursery. She remembered the two she-cats frequently nuzzling each other, pressing their faces together, and sharing the nest where Mapleshade’s kits slept. 

“They were close friends,” Petalkit answered. “Frecklewish was really nice. Until she found out our real father. Then… she stopped being nice.” 

Reedshine nodded. She took one last bite from her fish, chewing it slowly. Then, she stood up and stretched. Petalkit, who’d finished her vole already, began scuffing at the earth to bury the bones. 

“I think we should go to The Shallows today,” Reedshine mused, sitting up to give her forepaws a washing. Petalkit flattened her ears and curled her lip, groaning.

“I don’t want to go to The Shallows,” the kit mewed contemptuously. “It’s so boring.”

“Come on, don’t pout,” Reedshine purred with amusement. “We can look for shells to weave into our nest.” 

Petalkit perked up slightly, but tried her best not to show it.

“Okay, fine,” she muttered. Then, in a completely flat voice, she added, “Yay.” 

“That’s more like it!” Reedshine curled her tail approvingly. 

“Oh, this is just my luck,” Petalkit heard Reedshine grumble under her breath. The two cats pushed their way through the reeds and onto the pebbly beach at The Shallows, only to be met with Appledusk and Perchpaw. Both cats were belly-deep in the nearly still water, Appledusk instructing Perchpaw on how to catch the small loaches that came to rest on the sandy riverbed. 

“Stop fidgeting,” Appledusk snapped. “Keep your tail still, and get your rump down.”

“Sorry, Appledusk,” Perchpaw mumbled. Petalkit would’ve expected him to mouth off, but instead, a deep concentration settled over the dark tabby apprentice as he stilled himself, waiting for a fish to swim by. 

“Do you wanna just go back to camp?” Petalkit muttered to Reedshine. The dark ginger queen shook her pelt out, keeping her voice even as she responded. 

“No,” Reedshine mewed. “We have just as much a right to be here as them. He won’t ruin my day.” 

Reedshine led Petalkit down to the shore, and began pawing at the pebbles, moving them aside until she found shiny, iridescent shells. Petalkit stayed back from the water’s edge, her fur prickling out uncomfortably. She didn’t like to be this close to the river. 

“Reedshine!” 

The moment of peace didn’t last long. Appledusk noticed Reedshine and Petalkit almost immediately, bounding over to them through the water, sending up splashes that glimmered in the sharp morning sun. 

“Hey!” Perchpaw complained. “There was a loach right there!” 

“Keep crouching, Perchpaw,” Appledusk called back dismissively. “You could use the practice.”

The apprentice grumbled as he resumed his position. Appledusk splashed over to Reedshine, sending flecks of water towards Petalkit. She shrunk away from the flying droplets, hissing quietly. Appledusk caught her eye, and his lip curled into a sneer.

“Such a shame you’ve grown into a drypaw,” he muttered. “I would’ve hoped my RiverClan genes fixed that, at the very least.” 

“What do you want, Appledusk?” Reedshine interrupted him. She had a steely glint to her eyes, her expression entirely unreadable. Despite her less-than-friendly tone, Appledusk perked up, not used to his ex-mate actually speaking to him. 

“Reedshine! My beautiful water lily!” He mewed. “I heard the wonderful news!” 

“Which is?” Reedshine raised an eyebrow, unamused. 

“You’re carrying my kits!” Appledusk purred. He stepped forward, extending his neck to nuzzle Reedshine. She stepped away from him. 

“ Your kits?” Reedshine scoffed. “That seems a bit presumptuous.”

“Come on, don’t be like this,” Appledusk mewed, his demeanor souring. “This is a beautiful moment. You’re spoiling it.” 

His sudden change in tone made Petalkit’s belly squirm. 

“You’ve got a perfectly good kit here already,” Reedshine flicked her tail at Petalkit. “I don’t see you falling over yourself to be a father to her.” 

Appledusk shifted on his paws, lashing his tail impatiently. 

“I told you, Reedshine, that didn’t mean anything,” Appledusk mewed. “That kit is just as much a rogue as her mother. She isn’t mine.” 

Petalkit flattened her ears, feeling the fur along her spine prickle. 

“Last time I checked, that’s not how genes work. If my kits are yours, then she’s yours as well,” Reedshine mewed dismissively. “Father her, and maybe I’ll consider letting you be in my kits’ lives.” 

“Unbelievable,” Appledusk snapped. “You can’t even be happy about the gift I’ve given you! This is supposed to be the most exciting moment in a she-cat’s life, and you won’t stop moping ungratefully.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Reedshine mewed, her ears folding back.

“You’re a she-cat. She-cats bare kits. It’s what you’re meant to do. It’s the will of StarClan! So act excited about it! You don’t want to end up like Darkstar, do you?” he snarled. At the mention of their leader, Reedshine took a step back, her tail bushing up.

“Y-you surely don’t-” she began. Appledusk lashed his tail, interrupting her.

“That’s not what I meant,” The light brown tom snapped. “Stop acting like I’m the bad guy here. I don’t want to hurt you, Reedshine.” 

“Then why did you have kits with another cat?” Reedshine demanded. 

“I told you it didn’t mean anything!” Appledusk snarled back. “Why can’t you get that through your head? Mapleshade and her wretched kits mean nothing to me.”

Petalkit felt her stomach crawl, and she slid out her claws. Appledusk advanced towards Reedshine, his hackles rising, baring his teeth. Reedshine stepped away from him, but he didn’t stop, and Petalkit could smell the queen’s fear-scent. 

“Stop! Stay away from me!” Reedshine hissed in warning, unsheathing her claws. Desperation worked its way into her tone.

“Reedshine, please!” Appledusk begged, ignoring her. He backed Reedshine up against a large rock. When Appledusk was close enough that their muzzles were almost touching, Reedshine panicked, letting out a loud shriek of fear. The queen lunged forward, raking her claws across Appledusk’s head, one snagging in his ear. The light brown tom stumbled backwards in astonishment, his fur bushing.

“Great StarClan!” he spat furiously. “What’s wrong with you?!” 

“I warned you to stop!” Reedshine gasped back, her sides heaving as she took deep, uneven breaths. Her fur was fluffed out so that she looked twice her size, and her tail lashed back and forth wildly. Petalkit lowered her belly to the ground, her ears pinned back against her head. A splashing sound announced the arrival of Perchpaw, who bounded over to his cursing mentor. 

“Appledusk! Are you okay?!” the dark tabby wore a look of genuine concern, but his gaze turned to contempt when he glanced at Petalkit and Reedshine. 

“He was threatening Reedshine!” Petalkit spat. “He deserved to get clawed!” 

Perchpaw curled his lip at her. 

“Appledusk is a noble warrior!” Perchpaw growled. “He would never threaten his clanmate. Reedshine is the traitor!” 

Petalkit glared at Perchpaw, baring her teeth.

“Perchpaw, quit it,” Appledusk snapped, flicking his tail. “Don’t waste your breath on them.” 

Reedshine hadn’t clawed Appledusk too badly, but definitely enough to sting. A few small trickles of blood dripped from the angry red scratches, and Reedshine’s claw left a small nick in his ear. Bristling with fury, the light brown tom turned around towards the mass of reeds lining the shore. He stalked angrily away, gesturing with his tail for his apprentice to follow.

“Come on, Perchpaw,” Appledusk grunted. “We’re going to report these traitors to Darkstar.” 

Perchpaw shot Petalkit a strange expression, that bordered almost on disappointment. Petalkit flattened her ears, replying to him with a snarl, and he turned away quickly. The two tomcats hurriedly left the clearing, Appledusk cursing under his breath as a few more drops of blood pooled under his scratches. Reedshine watched them go, her fur starting to lie flat. 

“I’m sorry you had to see that, Petalkit,” Reedshine mewed, her tone unreadable. 

“That’s okay,” Petalkit replied. She shuddered, thinking of Appledusk’s thinly veiled threats. “He deserved it.”

Reedshine didn’t reply, still staring at where the two cats left. Then, she signed, shaking her head. She twisted to give her side a grooming, trying to smooth down the fur that had become disheveled. Petalkit watched the queen work for a moment, before speaking again.

“Do you think Darkstar will be mad at us?” she mewed sheepishly. 

“Us? I don’t think she’ll be mad at you,” Reedshine reassured Petalkit. “Me, though, I’m not sure. Darkstar isn’t one to lose her temper, but she is really strict about our safety. I can’t imagine she’ll be pleased one of her warriors is hurt.” 

Petalkit flicked her tail. 

“Do you think that’s why she sent away Mapleshade?” the kit asked. Reedshine’s ears pricked in surprise, and she mulled the question over carefully. Petalkit wasn’t conscious when her mother got sent away, but Mapleshade, loving a mother as she was, was also a fierce fighter and one of ThunderClan’s finest warriors. She couldn’t imagine Mapleshade going calmly or quietly.

“I don’t know,” Reedshine admitted. Then, she shivered. “She swore vengeance on RiverClan, though.” 

Petalkit thought of her horrible dream from the night before, with the disemboweled raven. She’d thought it just the result of an upset belly, but could it mean something else? 

“Do you think Mapleshade attacked Birdsong?” Petalkit asked. She hated thinking ill of her mother, but it could be the beginning of Mapleshade’s vengeance. Reedshine, though, shook her head. 

“I don’t know,” the dark ginger queen mewed. “Milkfur didn’t scent her in the clearing. ThunderClan carries a very distinct odor. And even if Mapleshade was angry, I doubt she’d ever be so dishonorable to attack a cat who’s barely a warrior. Her quarrel is with Darkstar and Appledusk.” 

She paused for a moment.

“And me, I suppose.” 

Petalkit whisked her tail. She knew in her gut that Reedshine was making sense. Her mother may be fierce, but she was no rogue. After all, if StarClan were really trying to warn the clan, wouldn’t they send the dream to Echosnout? Or Cloudpaw, or Darkstar? 

But despite all the evidence pointing to the contrary, Petalkit still couldn’t shake the uncomfortable feeling in her belly. 

“Do you wanna go back to camp?” Petalkit asked Reedshine. She noticed that the queen looked troubled, despite her attempts to act otherwise. 

“No, I’m not eager to deal with Appledusk or Darkstar right now,” Reedshine mewed. “Besides, we still need to find shells for our nest, remember?” 

“Oh yeah!” Petalkit mewed. “Where can we find them?”

“The waters’ edge, silly,” Reedshine mewed. Petalkit shifted on her paws uncomfortably, looking at the shoreline. The water rippled gently against the pebbles, occasionally glimmering in the faint sunlight. Petalkit’s belly squirmed, and she looked away, back towards the reeds and cattails lining the beach. 

“Can I look for shells over there?” Petakit asked hopefully. Reedshine purred in amusement.

“Sure thing, Petalkit. But I can’t guarantee there will actually be anything over there,” Reedshine replied. The queen trotted towards the water, and began pawing at the rocks, looking for shells. Petalkit shook herself out and made for the reeds. She nosed around in the dirt, hoping that overturning rocks or rummaging through the reeds may reveal some shells. Slowly, Petalkit worked her way along the edge of the reeds, even when she found no shells. She stubbornly refused to go back on her decision, and even more so didn’t want to get in the water.  

“Find anything?” Petalkit was about three-quarters of the way around the edge of The Shallows when she heard Reedshine approach. Sourly, the kit sat up, her muzzle smudged with dirt.

“No,” she grumbled. “Stupid shells are hiding.” 

“Want to see the shells I found?” Reedshine mewed, a playful glint in her eyes. The dark ginger queen was dripping with water, as if she’d been diving in the water. Petalkit flicked her tail in annoyance.

“So you can show off?” Petalkit asked. 

“A little bit,” Reedshine purred. “But they’re very pretty. Come look!” 

Petalkit followed Reedshine across the pebbly beach to a small pile of shells. Many of them were small, but one large, golden-brown spiral shell caught Petalkit’s eye. It was larger than a mouse, and its surface had a smooth, waxy sheen.

“What’s that one?” she asked, nudging the shell with her paw. It was nearly the size of a cat’s head. 

“That’s an Apple Snail shell,” Reedshine mewed proudly. “They’re quite rare. I found this one at the bottom of the river! I think it’ll make a nice decoration for our nest, no?” 

“Apple snail?” Petalkit wrinkled her nose. “That reminds me of somebody we don’t like.”

Reedshine chuffed with laughter.

“Well, from now on, this shell can be the only apple we care about,” Reedshine mewed. “Any other thing named apple? We don’t think about him.” 

“Not a bad idea you’ve got there.”

Reedshine and Petalkit jumped, turning to the edge of the clearing to see Echosnout pushing her way through the wall of reeds.

“Echosnout!” Reedshine mewed. “What are you doing out here?”

“Looking for mallow,” Echosnout grunted. “Blackbee’s got bellyache again.” 

“Hi, Echosnout!” Petalkit chirped nervously, waving her tail at the medicine cat.

“‘Morning, kit,” Echosnout mewed back flatly. She squinted at Petalkit, and she realized the medicine cat was probably staring at the dirt smudged on her face. “Looks like you’ve been searching for herbs as well. Maybe I ought to have you as my apprentice instead of Cloudpaw.”

“No!” Petalkit mewed. “I’m going to be a warrior!” 

“Sheesh, I was joking,” Echosnout grumbled. “Couldn’t you tell?” 

“Petalkit and I are searching for shells,” Reedshine mewed. “We found an apple snail’s shell. It’s pretty big. Want to see it?”

“New apple of your eye, eh?” Echosnout asked. “Why not. The elders aren’t going anywhere anytime soon.”

The medicine cat trotted leisurely over to the pile of shells. She leaned down, sniffing the apple snail shell. 

“It’s a good idea, though,” Echosnout continued. 

“What do you mean?” Reedshine asked. 

“If something is upsetting to think about, changing its association in your mind can help you cope,” Echosnout mewed. “Like apples. You’ll soon find you’re happier about the shell than you are upset over that boneheaded tom. Been trying the same thing with Darkstar for the last few moons. Not working so well for her, but hey, maybe you and the kit will have more luck.” 

Reedshine looked thoughtfully between the shell and Petalkit, whose fur prickled uncomfortably. Echosnout was watching her as well, a steely glint to her eyes. She felt as though both older cats were making a connection she didn’t.

“Well, anyways, I should get back to my herbs,” Echosnout grunted. “It is my job, after all.” 

She turned and made for the reeds again, flicking her tail idly as she went. Reedshine turned to Petalkit, and nudged the kit. 

“Want to try and find an apple snail shell of your own?” the queen asked. Petalkit’s belly prickled uncomfortably. 

“I’m not going in the river,” she mewed defensively. She stole another glance at the apple snail. “No matter how cool that shell is.” 

“Alright, I was just asking,” Reedshine mewed indifferently. She got up and began walking back towards the waters’ edge. She took a few steps into the river, and Petalkit watched as her glossy fur began flowing out around her, almost as if she were melting into the water. Petalkit’s belly twisted. 

I could go in after her, she thought. And look for shells too. 

Are you crazy?! She then snapped to herself. You’ll drown! And die! 

Petalkit clenched her eyes shut, trying to calm her roiling stomach. She groaned, lowering herself to the ground. 

“Everything alright?” Reedshine called back. Only the queen’s head poked out of the water, and the rest of her was submerged. Petalkit groaned again in response, swaying slightly on her paws, feeling the earth spin beneath her. She heard a splashing sound, and soon Reedshine was back on the shore. She shook her pelt out, sending droplets flying. Some of the droplets hit Petalkit’s pelt, and she jumped back in fear, hissing, feeling her body tremble more. Reedshine immediately stopped shaking, staring at Petalkit with wide eyes. 

“Petalkit, are you okay?!” She asked. Petalkit kept her eyes shut tightly, and all she could manage was a stiff nod. Reedshine sat with her for several moments before speaking.

“You don’t like water, do you?” she asked. Petalkit couldn’t answer her. “C’mon. Let’s get away from the river for a moment. Can you walk?” 

Petalkit fumbled to her paws and staggered after Reedshine. They moved several fox-lengths, until they were almost at the border between the reeds and the beach. Petalkit again lowered herself to the ground and sat there, still as a stone. The two cats remained in silence for what felt like an eternity, before Reedshine spoke again.

“I’m sorry for getting water on you,” she mewed. “I didn’t realize you disliked it so much.”

“S’okay,” mumbled Petalkit quietly. “Whatever…” 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Reedshine asked. 

“No,” Petalkit grunted. 

“Talking about it might help, though,” Reedshine mewed.

“It’s stupid. Who cares,” Petalkit bit back. Her panic began to subside, and replacing it was a burning knot of shame in her belly.

“It’s not stupid, Petalkit,” Reedshine mewed. “C’mon, tell me about it.”

Petalkit groaned, pushing her muzzle into the ground.

“Does it have to do with the time you tried to swim?” Reedshine guessed. 

“Sure,” Petalkit grumbled. “And with the time Mapleshade tried to cross the river with me.”

“Oh,” Reedshine mewed quietly. “Do you remember that?”

Petalkit shivered at the thought.

“I try not to,” she mumbled. The shame grew, worming its way under her pelt, making her belly feel unpleasant and sour. “I just wish I could be normal. Like Perchpaw. Or you, or any other cat who isn’t me.” 

The words seemed to flow from her muzzle without her being able to stop it, which only made her feel even worse, even more embarrassed. 

“Hm,” Reedshine tipped her head, squinting her eyes at Petalkit. Then, she got up, and trotted back to the shell pile. She picked up the apple snail’s shell and waded into the water, pushing off cleanly from the bank and gliding out to the center of the river where the water was deepest. Then, she opened her jaws, and dropped the shell. It fell into the water with a plop, and promptly disappeared. Petalkit gaped at Reedshine. 

“What was that for?!” she called to Reedshine. The dark ginger queen swam back to the riverbank, making sure to shake herself right at the waters’ edge, many fox-lengths away from Petalkit. She returned at sat next to Petalkit. 

“You’re going to get it back,” she mewed adamantly. 

“What?!” Petalkit felt her fur prickle. “But… I can’t… I don’t know how to…”

“You want to face your fears, right?” Reedshine asked. Petalkit scuffed her paws on the ground.

“I don’t know if I can,” Petalkit mewed. 

“We both carry burdens,” Reedshine told the kit. “But I know you’re strong enough to overcome it. We’ll get through it together.”

“But I don’t know how to swim!” Petalkit protested. Reedshine purred in amusement. 

“Not yet, Petalkit,” she agreed. “But you will learn. It won’t be easy, or fast, but you will heal, and you will grow. And I won’t give up on you until that shell decorates your nest.”

Chapter Text

“-And thats when she attacked me!”

Petalkit flattened her ears in annoyance as she and Reedshine re-entered RiverClan’s camp. Appledusk’s voice rang out, loud and accusatory, as he explained to Darkstar what had transpired at The Shallows. From his volume, Petalkit could guess Appledusk wanted the other cats to overhear him. She glanced to the side and saw Reedshine keeping her expression even, but the tip of her tail twitched anxiously.

“There’s the traitors now!” Perchpaw, who sat a few paces away from his mentor and the leader, cried out when he noticed Petalkit and Reedshine entering camp.

“Hush, Perchpaw,” Darkstar instructed her son. Her voice, though not harsh, was devoid of any emotion that might betray how she felt about the dark tabby apprentice, who swished his tail in irritation.

“I say you throw the both of them out right now!” Appledusk snarled. “Look at what she did, I’m bleeding!”

“A little blood won’t kill you,” Darkstar mewed pointedly. “And please, Appledusk, lower your voice. Milkfur and Rainfall just got off their guard shift, and both of them are trying to get some rest.” 

“She clawed me, Darkstar!” Appledusk continued. “Surely you’ll do something!”

“I noticed,” Darkstar replied. “And I will. But what punishments I dole out to my warriors is not for you to decide.” 

“Well hurry up and do it!” Perchpaw interrupted, stamping a paw. “Traitors need to be punished! For threatening the safety of RiverClan!” 

Darkstar’s head snapped to stare at Perchpaw, her eyes narrowing sternly. 

“Perchpaw,” she mewed. “Please go see that the elders have gotten their share of fresh-kill.” 

“I don’t care about the stupid elders! And besides, you’re not even my mentor! So who cares what you tell me to do?” Perchpaw spat. Darkstar’s tail flicked just once, the only sign that Perchpaw’s comments affected her.

“Appledusk, your apprentice has much to learn,” she turned back to the light brown tom. “About when he should hold his tongue.” 

Appledusk glared at Darkstar angrily.

“So what are you going to do about Reedshine?” he asked again. 

“It’s none of your business,” Darkstar mewed to him. Then, as Appledusk’s hackles rose in anger, she turned and motioned with her tail as she called for her deputy. “Spiketail!”

The unkempt gray tom rose from his position near Darkstar’s den and trotted over, planting himself next to his leader. 

“What is it, Darkstar?” he mewed amiably, casting a wary glance at Appledusk and Perchpaw.

“When is the next patrol?” she asked coolly. Spiketail looked at her for a moment, interest flickering in his eyes. Then, he seemed to pick up on the underlying meaning of her question.

“Ah! The sunhigh patrol is leaving soon,” he mewed. Then, he turned to Appledusk. “Would you and Perchpaw like to join us? Rainfall and Birdsong are coming. We’ll be renewing markers at the WindClan border.” 

“Perchpaw is to check on the elders,” Darkstar interjected. Perchpaw pinned his ears back in annoyance, but Darkstar wasn’t done. “However, if the elders are set, he may accompany you. Is this alright, Appledusk?”

Appledusk lashed his tail in anger. Petalkit recognized that Darkstar probably wanted him out of camp to blow off some steam, but didn’t suggest it directly to avoid making him angrier. 

“Fine,” Appledusk snapped. “Perchpaw, go check on the elders. And hurry up, if you want to come on patrol.”

Perchpaw, seemingly satisfied with this conclusion, perked up. He bounded quickly towards the elders’ den, holding his tail high. Then, after Perchpaw departed, Appledusk flashed one last resentful look at Darkstar before stalking away.

“Well, we’d better get this over with,” Reedshine sighed, brushing her tail over Petalkit’s back. The two started towards Darkstar and Spiketail, who continued chatting casually after Appledusk and Perchpaw left.

“So Birdsong is feeling up to patrols?” Darkstar asked quietly.

“Yes, it’s her first time out of camp since the… incident,” Spiketail replied. “Well, she’s been to the river’s edge to wash her wound, once per day. But this is her first patrol.”

“Mm,” Darkstar made a noise of agreement as she nodded. “Keep an eye on her, will you? If she seems upset or afraid, tell Rainfall to bring her back to camp.” 

“Of course, Darkstar,” Spiketail dipped his head and trotted back towards his station at the leader’s den. Petalkit stayed behind Reedshine as the dark ginger queen approached Darkstar. Up close, Petalkit could see Reedshine was a bit shaky, but she kept her voice cool when she addressed the leader.

“Hello, Darkstar,” Reedshine mewed. The leader swung her head to look at Reedshine, then sighed deeply.

“Hello, Reedshine,” she replied. “Have an eventful morning?”

“Of sorts,” Reedshine replied. Darkstar got to her paws and shook her pelt out.

  “Best not delay this any longer,” Darkstar mewed. “Come with me to my den. You too, Petalkit.”

Petalkit blinked in surprise, but followed after the two older she-cats as they walked towards the old willow where Darkstar made her den. Darkstar allowed Reedshine to enter first, but blocked Petalkit with her tail.

“Wait out here. I’d like to talk to the two of you separately,” Darkstar instructed. Petalkit swished her tail, but sat down without complaint. 

“It’s probably because of Reedshine lying to cover for you last time,” came a deep, rumbly mew. Spiketail was on his side a few paces from the entrance, lounging with his legs stretched out. He looked as though he were in the middle of attempting to tame his unkempt fur. Petalkit nervously trotted over to him, but didn’t sit down. Spiketail was nice, but he was still the deputy. The two cats sat in awkward silence for a while, before Spiketail broke it.

“So, how have you been adjusting? To RiverClan, I mean,” he asked, dragging a paw over his face.

“Oh, um, well I think I’m getting used to it,” Petalkit mumbled. “I guess.”

“Mm. I notice you don’t eat fish,” he continued. “Is there a reason why?”

Petalkit shifted on her paws.

“I like the taste of land prey better,” she admitted. She braced herself, waiting for a snide comment, but the deputy’s reply surprised her.

“Well, differences make the clan stronger,” Spiketail mewed. “I heard about the time you tracked Perchpaw. We don’t teach tracking as thoroughly as they do in ThunderClan, but it seems you have a knack for it already. You’ll make an excellent hunter. Very useful when the river freezes over.”

Petalkit blinked at him, a bit taken aback by his assessment.

“Um… Thanks?” she mewed. Spiketail gave her an amiable, slow blink before returning to his washing.

“Why do you always sit by Darkstar’s den?” Petalkit asked. “Beetail never did that, with Oakstar’s den.”

Spiketail stopped washing. He turned to Petalkit, peering at her curiously. Then, he shook his head ever so slightly.

“Makes her feel better if I’m nearby,” he responds. “It’s easier to wrangle warriors for patrols if they all know where I am, too.” 

“Oh,” Petalkit replied. She squinted at him, thinking of Eeltail’s assertions that he and Darkstar were possibly mates. “Are you and Darkstar friends?”

Spiketail gave a good-natured laugh.

“I guess you could say that,” he mewed. “My father mentored her, so we spent a lot of time together when we were younger, and that just stuck. She was always better than me at everything. I couldn’t believe she chose me to be her deputy!”

Petalkit searched his face for any indication that his words held more meaning beyond the obvious. But the tom offered no further clues, so Petalkit didn’t question him further. 

“Petalkit, it’s your turn,” Reedshine mewed as she pushed her way out of Darkstar’s den. Petalkit pricked her ears and turned to her friend. The dark ginger queen was unreadable as always, but Petalkit watched her march straight for the reed bed across camp and begin pulling out strands. Petalkit then nosed her way through the curtain, into the dank space where Darkstar made her nest. The leader was in her nest, sitting upright with her tail curled over her paws. Just as Petalkit remembered, the space smelled of stale bedding, and there were prey bones scattered in the nest and around it. However, the smell wasn’t quite as strong. It seemed as though her bedding was changed recently. 

“Hello, Petalkit,” Darkstar greeted her. “Please, sit down.”

Petalkit obeyed, sitting with her tail curled over her paws across from the leader, fidgeting slightly.

“Am I in trouble?” Petalkit blurted out without thinking.

“No, no,” Darkstar assured her. “I wanted to hear from everybody who was there, what happened at The Shallows. Can you tell me what you saw?”

Petalkit nodded, and explained the story. She tried to be as objective as possible, because she knew that’s what Darkstar wanted, but she couldn’t help letting through her frustration with her father and Perchpaw at places. Darkstar listened intently, nodding periodically to show she understood. She tensed up when Petalkit mentioned Appledusk’s comparing Reedshine to her, but otherwise, had no strong reaction.

“Thank you, Petalkit,” Darkstar mewed. “Is there anything else you’d like to tell me?”

Petalkit left out the bit where Reedshine made a plan to help her get over her fear of water. It was after Appledusk left, so she didn’t think she needed to say it. And she worried that Darkstar would try to expedite the process if she heard. Petalkit just shook her head.

“Very well, then,” Darkstar mewed. “Reedshine is going to be occupied with some chores for the next few sunrises, so I advise you to find something to keep busy with in camp.” 

Darkstar flicked her tail to dismiss Petalkit, who exited the leaders’ den promptly. She gazed around camp, catching Reedshine over by the camp’s wall. She was weaving new strands into the wall, securing it tightly. 

That must be the chore she’s doing as punishment, Petalkit thought. Though, for her it’s not much of a punishment, I’d imagine. 

Petalkit didn’t want to interrupt a punishment, so she stood absently, unsure what to do. She considered going back to the nursery when a dark tabby blur bundled past her. She stumbled to the side, fluffing out her fur in annoyance as she regained her footing.

“Hey!” she snapped. “Watch it, Perchpaw!” 

The apprentice whirled around, then narrowed his eyes at her.

“You were in my way,” he replied. “Not my fault.”

“You could watch where you’re going, frog-brain!” Petalkit snarled back. In truth, she wasn’t really mad at him for lightly bumping into her. She was more angry with how he’d acted earlier, when his mentor was menacing Reedshine.

“Whatever,” Perchpaw rolled his eyes. “I’ve got a patrol to go on. Not like you’d know anything about that, since you’re still a stupid kit.”

Before Petalkit could respond, Perchpaw stomped off towards the camp exit, where Spiketail gathered the sunhigh patrol of himself, Rainfall, Birdsong, Appledusk, and now Perchpaw. Perchpaw skidded to a stop and bounced on his paws excitedly. Petalkit watched as Appledusk gave him a withering look and his features drooped. For a moment, she thought maybe her father was telling the apprentice he couldn’t come on patrol, but soon enough the party of cats headed out of camp together, Perchpaw trailing behind Appledusk.

Not eager to sit in the nursery by herself, Petalkit found her paws taking her towards the medicine den. She didn’t have much else to do; She knew Echosnout would probably snap at her, but wouldn’t chase her out. It would be nice to sit in her old nest, listening to the two medicine cats twitter at each other. However, at the mouth of the medicine den, the sharp tang of blood stung her nose, and she ducked back instinctively, flattening to the ground. She was about to turn away, when she heard Echosnout speak. The old she-cat was practically spitting with anger, and at first Petalkit thought she was angry with her apprentice. But Echosnout never spoke this harshly to Cloudpaw. 

“Starclan’s sake,” she snarled. “Skin him. I’ll skin him, I’ll scatter his entrails, I’ll feed them to the crows, if I ever see that tom again in my life.”

“It’s only a scratch,” Cloudpaw’s shaky mew replied.

“Only a scratch!” Echosnout scoffed indignantly. “I could think you dark ginger with how much blood is in your fur right now!” 

“It’ll wash out,” Cloudpaw reassured her. “I’ll be fine.”

“I don’t care!” Echosnout snarled. “Attacking a medicine cat! In broad daylight, in front of his whole clan! And nobody twitched a whisker!”

Petalkit pricked her ears in interest. Cloudpaw was attacked? 

“Oh, he’s just upset,” Cloudpaw replied uncomfortably. “A lot has happened in ThunderClan lately.” 

“But attacking a medicine cat is unforgivable!” Echosnout spat back.

“I think I scared him a little,” Cloudpaw admitted. “Maybe I shouldn’t have been so… detailed about it.” 

“No, Cloudpaw,” Echosnout mewed firmly. “Don’t you dare blame yourself for what Oakstar did.” 

Petalkit let out an audible gasp at the ThunderClan leader’s name. Then, the two medicine cats stopped talking, letting an awful silence fall over Petalkit.

“That’d better not be-” Echosnout began. Petalkit heard the old medicine cat approaching the den entrance, but before she could run, Echosnout spotted her. “Petalkit!”

“Petalkit’s here?!” Cloudpaw piped up from in the den.

“Unfortunately,” mewed Echosnout, though she seemed more exhausted than angry; a rare state for Echosnout to be in. “Hello, Petalkit.”

Petalkit didn’t say anything, merely shifting on her paws. Echosnout heaved a deep sigh.

“Well, if you’re here, come in and make yourself useful,” she drawled. Petalkit blinked in surprise as Echosnout turned back, padding back towards her ailing apprentice. Despite her rancorous attitude towards Oakstar, the medicine cat seemed… deflated. Defeated, even. In fact, a sullen feeling hung in the air of the medicine den, clinging to both Echosnout and Cloudpaw. 

“What happened?” Petalkit asked. “Did Oakstar really attack Cloudpaw?”

Echosnout twitched an ear, but before she could respond, Cloudpaw interrupted.

“He’ll probably announce it at the next gathering anyways,” the white apprentice mewed. “Then every cat in RiverClan will be talking about it. I don’t see any harm in telling her.”

Echosnout didn’t seem happy about it, but didn’t object when Cloudpaw turned to Petalkit to explain what happened. Echosnout put her to work, dabbing at Cloudpaw’s stained fur with wet moss as she spoke.

“Echosnout and I left for the Half-Moon meeting early yesterday. We like leaving a bit early to meet up with Larkwing, WindClan’s medicine cat, a little outside their camp. She’s old and frail, and hasn’t chosen an apprentice yet, so we don’t want her to make the journey alone,” Cloudpaw explained. “When we arrived at Highstones, well… that’s when we found it.” 

Both medicine cats’ faces darkened, and Petalkit felt a deep-seated unease creep over her pelt. 

“Battered, broken, eviscerated,” Cloudpaw choked out, looking away. “We… we found the body of… of Ravenwing.” 

The world lurched beneath Petalkit’s paws as she remembered the horrible dream, with the raven spiked to the tree. She didn’t know what “eviscerated” meant, but… She clenched her eyes shut, unable, no, unwilling, to imagine what the medicine cat’s body must have looked like. 

“It was the most horrible thing any of us had ever seen,” Cloudpaw murmured, her eyes clouding over. “Torn apart like prey, rotting, maggots crawling in every orifice… the smell, oh my stars, the smell…” 

“Great StarClan, you’ll give the kit nightmares!” Echosnout snapped. Cloudpaw shook her head, snapping herself out of a reverie. Petalkit’s limbs trembled as Cloudpaw continued her story.

“There was no way to bring him back to ThunderClan,” Cloudpaw mewed. “He was barely more than carrion, his bones scattered. He must have been there since before the last gathering, a half-moon ago. The best we could do was bury his remains, and bring word to ThunderClan. I volunteered to take the message to Oakstar, since Echosnout needed to accompany Larkwing back to WindClan camp, and the journey would be quite out of the way for Sloefur, the ShadowClan medicine cat.” 

Echosnout let out a low growl, her hackles rising and tail beginning to flick as Cloudpaw made her way to the next part of the story. 

“Well, Oakstar… wasn’t happy. He… uh, he accused us of foul play,” Cloudpaw murmured. “When I denied it, that’s when he swiped at me.”

“Attacking a medicine cat!” Echosnout snarled. “The disgrace of it. When Darkstar finds out-” 

“How could he attack Cloudpaw?” Petalkit mewed in disbelief. “He’s the leader. He’s supposed to be fair! Especially to medicine cats!”

Echonout shook her head.

“Leaders aren’t perfect, kit,” she mewed tiredly. “But I suspect he’ll want to make it a thing at the next Gathering. Probably accuse all of RiverClan. The worst part is, there’s no proof that we didn’t do it. The body was so old and rotted, it was impossible to tell what killed him. To Oakstar, that’s as good as saying RiverClan is guilty. Our clans could go to war.” 

Petalkit shivered. This is more than just a dispute over Sunningrocks, she thought. If RiverClan and ThunderClan go to war, who else will be lost?

Petalkit couldn’t bring herself to think about fighting her old Clanmates. She barely remembered many of them, but it would feel… wrong, to try and harm the cats who had raised her for the first four moons of her life. Like Nettlepaw, who played with her in the nursery, or Frecklewish, who was almost a second mother to her. They weren’t her clanmates anymore, but she didn’t want to see them harmed. 

“Well, one thing’s for certain,” Cloudpaw mewed grimly. “There are difficult times ahead for RiverClan. The best we can do is try to stay afloat.”

Chapter Text

Darkstar was very unhappy. Petalkit had never seen her so furious before. In fact, she’d never really seen the leader angry at all. Disappointed? Annoyed? Maybe. But Darkstar normally hid her emotions so well, only an intent observer could glean her real feelings.

Not this time, though.

Darkstar’s expression turned from aghast to openly hostile as Cloudpaw explained how she got the wound on her head. The white apprentice made attempts to assure Darkstar that it was no big deal, but the leader turned and stormed from the medicine den. Petalkit heard her call for Milkfur, one of her senior warriors, since Spiketail was out on patrol with Rainfall and Appledusk. 

“You don’t think she’ll do anything foolish?” Cloudpaw asked nervously. Echosnout shook her head.

“Oh I doubt she’ll do anything besides give Oakstar a real earful,” Echosnout replied. “She might be angry, but she wants to avoid war as much as the rest of us.” 

“What if Oakstar attacks Darkstar?” Petalkit asked, feeling worried. The two medicine cats fell silent, Echosnout furrowing her brow.

“Then I suppose it’s war,” she mewed tersely. “But I doubt even Oakstar would be so frog-brained.”

Petalkit shifted on her paws uncomfortably. Before she could reply, the entrance to the den rustled, and a familiar dark ginger pelt ambled in.

“Oh, hello Petalkit!” Reedshine mewed, her brows arching in surprise. “What are you doing here?”

“Getting under our paws, as usual,” snorted Echosnout. Petalkit twitched her tail in annoyance.

“What brings you here, Reedshine?” Cloudpaw asked. 

“My stomach started hurting. I know it’s probably normal, pregnancy and all, but I want to make sure the kits are safe. Could I have a check-up?” the dark ginger queen asked. Dipping her broad head, Cloudpaw moved forward, but Echosnout stopped her.

“Your wound’s only just stopped bleeding. Sit down.” Then, she turned to Petalkit. “You, bring Cloudpaw some fresh-kill.”

Petalkit scowled, but didn’t object, slipping around Reedshine and out of the medicine den. The fresh-kill pile was well stocked with fish of all sizes, and Petalkit groaned internally, knowing she would have to bring one to Cloudpaw; like all RiverClan cats, the white apprentice wasn’t so keen on land prey. Petalkit picked out a large carp, trying to hold it as gingerly as possible in her jaws. The fish’s slimy stench choked her nostrils as she dragged it back to the medicine den. By the time she returned, Reedshine had gone, presumably back to repairing the wall. Petalkit huffed gladly, relieved that the queen’s stomach pain hadn’t been anything serious. Petalkit shuffled awkwardly over to Cloudpaw, dropping the fish at her paws.

“Thanks, Petalkit!” Cloudpaw mewed warmly, immediately leaning forward to take a bite from the fish. “Mmm, it’s so fresh. Want a bite?” 

“No,” Petalkit replied tartly, swiping her tongue around her jaws. The metallic tang of the fish coated her mouth, even from just the brief time carrying it. “I told you, I hate the taste of fish.” 

“Suit yourself!” Cloudpaw purred, unfazed by Petalkit’s prickly demeanor. “I got some new honey today, by the way, if you’d like to get the fish flavor out of your mouth. Just don’t let Echosnout catch you!” 

Petalkit brightened, and nodded her thanks. She bounded eagerly towards the back of the den. As she nosed carefully through the herb stash, she heard a cat enter the medicine den. 

Great StarClan, it’s busy in here today, she mused. She took a dollop of honey and made sure to work it around in her mouth for a moment, until the fishy taste was gone entirely. At least Cloudpaw let me sneak some of this honey. 

“Hello, Appledusk,” Echosnout mewed curly from further out in the den. Petalkit felt herself freeze at her father’s name. Back from patrol so soon? 

“Oh good, you’ve finally returned from your escapade,” Appledusk sounded annoyed as he addressed Cloudpaw and Echosnout. “Look at my head wound, why don’t you?”

Petalkit wrinkled her nose. Echosnout and Cloudpaw were at the half-moon meeting! She’d hardly call that an escapade. Appledusk shouldn’t have been stupid enough to get himself injured while they were gone. She swallowed the honey, swiping her tongue around her jaws one last time to hide its scent. Then, she hesitated before emerging from the back of the medicine den. 

When Petalkit crept out of the herb store, Echosnout was leaning over Appledusk, peering at the scratches on his head. Darkstar sent him straight out on patrol, and in the time he was gone the scratches scabbed over. He had a small nick in his ear as well, but it was barely noticeable.

“You’re fine,” Echosnout grunted. Then, as Appledusk opened his mouth to protest, she added, “I’m still going to get a marigold poultice, just to be safe.”

Echosnout stepped around Petalkit carefully. The kit locked gazes with her father, and he narrowed his eyes at her.

“What are you doing in here, little traitor?” He curled his lip.

Petalkit couldn’t think of an answer, and Cloudpaw spoke for her.

“She was helping Echosnout with my head scratches,” the white apprentice interjected. Appledusk whirled to Cloudpaw, as if he’d just noticed the marigold and cobweb plastered on her head for the first time. 

“Yours don’t look so bad,” Appledusk scoffed defensively. Petalkit frowned. Cloudpaw definitely looked worse. 

“Oakstar attacked her!” Petalkit snapped at Appledusk. The light brown tom’s eyes widened in surprise, before his hostility returned.

“Quit squawking,” he snarled at Petalkit. “What does a traitorous little kit know about battle wounds? And accusing your own former leader as well? I can’t say I’m surprised…” 

“Appledusk,” Cloudpaw mewed. “Petalkit isn’t a traitor. She’s just a kit, for StarClan’s sake.” 

“She just stood there while Reedshine attacked me!” Appledusk defended himself. Petalkit flexed her claws in annoyance, curling them into the soft earth. She kept her jaw clamped shut, though. 

“Well, again,” Cloudpaw mewed. “She is a kit. What did you expect her to do? Take on a full grown warrior? I think that’s a bit preposterous.” 

Appledusk scowled, unable to come up with a response. Petalkit felt a stab of satisfaction, seeing his stumped face.

“Are we taking odds on Petalkit?” Echosnout asked wryly, emerging from the back of the den with marigold. “Who’s she fighting?”

“Reedshine,” Cloudpaw replied, purring in amusement. 

“I’ll bet a full moon of fresh-kill on Petalkit, then,” Echosnout mewed, before lapping up the marigold leaves and chewing them into a poultice. 

“You think I could beat Reedshine in a fight?” Petalkit tipped her head to one side. 

“No,” Echosnout mewed through the leaves. She gave Appledusk a sharp jab. “Lower your head, you great badger.” 

Muttering in annoyment, Appledusk bent forward, so Ecnosnout could lap the green juice onto his scratches. 

“Then how could I win?” Petalkit asked.

“Reedshine likes you too much,” Cloudpaw purred. “She’d just roll over and let you take the victory.”

Echosnout chuffed with laughter. 

“She’s got a big heart,” the old black-and-white medicine cat agreed.

“She’s also a big fat traitor!” Appledusk interrupted. 

“Oh, boo hoo,” Echosnout snapped. “So you had a little spat. Get over it.”

“I was just trying to be nice to her,” Appledusk continued. “I want her to be happy, but she always acts like I’m the bad guy. I want to be a father to my kits. She’s being such a useless, crazy frog-brain!” 

Petalkit drew her lips back into a snarl, feeling red-hot anger flare in her chest.

“Take that back,” Petalkit growled at her father. Appledusk turned to stare at her, feigning perplexion.

“Kits don’t tell warriors what to do,” Appledusk mewed. 

“I don’t give a pile of fox-dung,” Petalkit stalked towards him, shouldering past Echosnout and Cloudpaw. She realized she’d grown in the moon since she arrived in RiverClan; she was coming up on her father’s height. Would she be bigger than him?

“Watch your language,” Appledusk sneered. “Wouldn’t want you getting in trouble with Darkstar again.”

Was that nervousness in his voice?

“Reedshine clawed you because you deserved it,” Petalkit snarled. She narrowed her eyes, willing as much venom as she could into her voice. “You’re a sorry excuse for a mate and an even sorrier excuse for a father.” 

“And you’re a traitorous little rat of a kitten,” Appledusk sneered back. “ThunderClan didn’t want you, and neither does RiverClan. I’m ashamed to call myself your father.” 

Anger bubbled like bile in Petalkit’s throat. She felt the past moon of resentment towards her father welling up inside her, threatening to spill over.

“You created me!” Petalkit spat. “And then you just abandoned my mother! You’ve got nobody to blame but yourself, for every bad thing that’s happened to you! I… I hate you!” 

Without thinking, Petalkit let out a shriek of anger, throwing herself forward and onto Appledusk. The light brown tom, wholly unprepared for the attack, yowled in surprise, flailing his limbs. 

“Petalkit!” 

Petalkit heard Echosnout and Cloudpaw exclaim in surprise, but she didn’t stop. She had no training, but battered her unsheathed claws against Appledusk’s muscular frame with as much fury as she could muster, howling and screeching every foul name and every curse she could think of. Appledusk fought back, albeit weakly, and with sheathed claws, but Petalkit refused to let up. She struck a blow for Reedshine. Then one for Mapleshade. Then another, and another, and another, until…

“ Petalkit!” 

She felt teeth in her scruff. Cloudpaw hauled her off of Appledusk. Petalkit howled with rage, thrashing in the white apprentice’s grip until Cloudpaw was forced to shift her teeth, sinking them in deeper and immobilizing Petalkit. Appledusk sat in a heap on the ground. Petalkit was pleased to see some scratches oozing blood along his flank. His sides heaved and his ears were flat against his head. 

“See what I told you?!” He desperately mewed to Echosnout, who was checking over his wounds. “Traitor!” 

“Calm down,” Echosnout snarled. She then whirled to Petalkit, amber eyes blazing. “Petalkit, what in the name of StarClan was that all about?!”

“He insulted Reedshine!” Petalkit snapped back. Regret began creeping its way into her chest. Darkstar wouldn’t be happy about this. Petalkit would probably get in huge trouble. Echosnout let out a long, deep sigh, letting her fur lie flat. 

“Cloudpaw, take Petalkit to the nursery,” Echosnout instructed. “I’ll tell Darkstar, when she gets back.”

“ I want to tell her,” Appledusk asserted. “I want that… that half-clan creature gone.”

A memory tugged at the back of Petalkit’s brain, of the day she was thrown out of ThunderClan. Full of rage, Petalkit thrashed again, swiping her claws at Appledusk and letting out a furious howl. 

“Enough!” Echosnout snarled. “Both of you, for StarClan’s sake! Cloudpaw, get her out of here!” 

Cloudpaw nodded briskly, shuffling out of the nursery, gripping Petalkit’s scruff. Cloudpaw was big, but Petalkit’s hindquarters and tail still dragged in the grass as Cloudpaw hauled her across the camp. Apparently, cats heard the scuffle, because many pairs of eyes followed Petalkit’s humiliating journey. Her pelt burned with shame, but part of her was proud of what she did. Appledusk was shocked, no, frightened by her. 

It felt nice to have the tables turned, for once.

 Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the cool shelter of the nursery overtook Cloudpaw and Petalkit, and the medicine cat apprentice let go of her scruff. Cloudpaw sat in front of the entrance, her bulky frame thoroughly blocking the opening. She heaved in a deep sigh.

“Petalkit, why did you do that?” she asked, exasperated. Petalkit’s jaw fell open in disbelief. 

“Appledusk deserved it!” She snapped, as if it were obvious. “Just like he deserved it when Reedshine clawed him!”

“You can’t attack your clanmates, Petalkit,” Cloudpaw scolded. “Even if you think they really, really deserve it.”

“I don’t care!” Petalkit lashed her tail angrily. “He’s been horrible to me ever since I arrived in RiverClan, and never got in trouble for it. It’s not fair! Why do I get punished?”

The medicine cat apprentice tipped her head back and closed her eyes. She muttered something silently. 

“Yes, Petalkit, Appledusk has been horrible to you,” Cloudpaw mewed. “And I know it’s awful not being able to do anything about it. But-”

“You and Echosnout are medicine cats! If you were on my side-” Petalkit began.

“There are no sides, Petalkit,” Cloudpaw mewed. “We are all one clan. We are on the same side.” 

Petalkit flattened her ears in anger. 

“ Appledusk isn’t on my side,” she spat back. 

“I know,” Cloudpaw mewed, her voice turning sympathetic. “I know, Petalkit. And I agree, that Appledusk treats you unfairly. But you should let Darkstar handle it, rather than starting a fight with a full grown warrior!” 

“ I’m almost full grown!” Petalkit mewed angrily. But her fury was dying down; hearing Cloudpaw agree with her, at least partially, was comforting.

“But you have no training,” Cloudpaw pointed out. “If Appledusk actually fought back, he could have seriously hurt you. Then where would you be?”

Petalkit growled angrily. She had nothing to say to that.

“Petalkit, it’s better to talk about your problems, then to keep them inside,” Cloudpaw mewed. “If you let them build up, this is what happens. You hurt people.” 

“He deserves to be hurt,” Petalkit muttered. 

“Maybe he does,” Cloudpaw shook her head. “But there are better places to put your energy. If you keep spending your time on things that make you angry, you will become a miserable cat.” 

“Whatever,” Petalkit mumbled. 

“We need to find a better outlet for your anger,” Cloudpaw mewed. “I suspect Darkstar will want a paw in that.” 

“You’re going to tell Darkstar?” Petalkit asked.

“Of course we’re going to tell Darkstar,” Cloudpaw replied. “You can’t just get away with attacking your clanmate.”

“But Appledusk’s been getting away with treating Reedshine and I like crow-food,” Petalkit muttered bitterly. 

“I’ll make sure he doesn’t get away with anything anymore, either,” Cloudpaw promised. “I know that retaliating feels right, and that sometimes it seems like there’s no other option. But there is . Echosnout, Reedshine, and I are here for you, okay?”

“Okay,” Petalkit spat back. “Fine.”

“Good,” Cloudpaw sounded satisfied. She paused for a moment, heaving another sigh. “Now come on, I think I hear Darkstar returning from ThunderClan’s camp now. 

Chapter Text

Petalkit hauled the filthy, stale bedding out of the elders’ den, wrinkling her nose at the stench. She clamped her jaws around it tightly, to keep it from growing sodden in the snow that blanketed the ground of RiverClan’s camp.

A half-moon ago, Petalkit attacked her father for his harsh words towards Reedshine. And since then, she was stuck cleaning out the elders’ den and pulling off their ticks. 

“Hurry up, will you?” a large, shaggy black she-cat loomed in the entrance to the elders’ den, curling her lip contemptuously at Petalkit. The elder was called Sloefur, and she was RiverClan’s retired deputy. The three oldest elders, Blackbee, Icewhisker, and Sloefur, were ridiculously foul-tempered, and simply must be losing their minds with age. They constantly babbled nonsense, making up inane tales about a so-called fifth clan. 

 The kit grumbled mutinously, but hurried along, exiting the camp and dumping the bedding far enough that she figured she wouldn’t get yelled at for it. She’d cut corners on her duties before. It wasn’t worth the trouble. 

Petalkit stomped back into camp, holding her head and tail low as she made her way back to the elders’ den. She didn’t keep track of where she was going, and she ran straight into another cat.

“Hey!” snapped Perchpaw. “Watch it, you lumbering badger!” 

Petalkit groaned. 

“You watch it,” she snarled back. “I’m trying to do work here. Work that’s supposed to be yours, remember?” 

“Well, I didn’t attack a respected warrior!” Perchpaw fluffed up his fur. 

“Petalkit! Blackbee is freezing, get your sorry rump over here!” Sloefur called out harshly from the Elders’ den. 

“Whatever,” Petalkit snapped, secretly glad she had a reason not to linger around and talk to Perchpaw. She shouldered past him roughly, heading for the elders’ den. She cast one glance back, only to see Perchpaw watching her with contempt. Gone were the days he looked at her with confliction. His hatred now laid in the open, undisguised and uncomplicated.

“Took her long enough,” grunted Icewhisker from the back of the den as Petalkit squeezed in around Sloefur. The stocky pale tom was crouching next to Blackbee, an ancient black she-cat with spots the color of honey. Her once-sleek pelt faded and thinning, Blackbee was mostly sedentary and rarely spoke; her hearing and sight almost entirely gone. No cat could remember how old she was; not even the other elders. Icewhisker and Sloefur frequently fretted over her, making sure her every need was met, as if she were a fragile, sickly kit. And since Petalkit’s outburst, she was the one stuck catering to these old badgers. 

“I got your bedding right here,” Petalkit muttered. She learned to bring the new bedding into the den before she took away the stale bedding, to minimize the amount of time the elders crouched on the cold den floor. Not that Petalkit really cared about their comfort, she just wanted to spend as little time with them as possible. 

“Well get on with it,” Icewhisker snapped, moving aside so Petalkit could situate the moss and down just the way he liked it. She repeated this for Blackbee and Sloefur, and all of the elders, until they were all settled back into their nests.

“There. Is that fine?” Petalkit spat. “Are you all comfortable?” 

“It’ll do,” Sloefur twitched her whiskers. “You can go, Petalkit.”

Petalkit didn’t spare them any more words as she made for the exit. Outside the den, she caught the tiniest trace of a feeble mew, trickling from the elder’s den.

“Such a shame,” Blackbee’s words were barely audible. “Our noble code, which I saw created in my youth, being broken so flagrantly…”

“Hush, Blackbee,” Icewhisker mewed back. “You needn’t waste your breath on that kit. She has ThunderClan blood. No good will come from her.”

Petalkit decided she’d heard enough. It was just more of the same crowfood the elders spoke about her every day. Lashing her tail, she stomped away from the Elders’ den, back towards the nursery. Clouds covered the sky and a cool wind bit at her pelt, but she estimated it was a little past sunhigh. 

Half the day gone, and I wasted it with the cranky old elders, Petalkit huffed. Nearly every day was the same; Reedshine woke her at dawn so she could tend to the elders, repair walls in the camp, and other stupid busywork Darkstar laid out for her. And now that Leafbare was in full swing, she often froze her paws off doing so. Then, Cloudpaw and Echosnout pestered her in the medicine den, asking about how she “felt”. And if she was particularly unlucky, Darkstar would stop by to speak with her, too. She avoided other cats as much as she could, and today was no exception. Petalkit headed back for the nursery, where Reedshine would likely be waiting for her. The dark ginger queen was heavy with kits now, and not able to leave the nursery for long without getting exhausted. They hadn’t been to the shallows since the day Reedshine clawed Appledusk. 

“Not so fast, little one.”

Petalkit cursed under her breath when she heard the familiar, rasping mew. She turned to see Echosnout standing a few paces away.

“Go away Echosnout,” Petalkit muttered. “I don’t want to talk today.”

“Tough tadpoles,” Echosnout snapped back. “Come on now, let’s just get it over with. Make it less painful for all of us.” 

The old medicine cat turned to walk back to her medicine den, clearly expecting Petalkit to follow. Petalkit’s fur prickled in frustration. She knew Cloudpaw, and probably Darkstar, would be there too. She snorted in displeasure, but followed after Echosnout anyways. 

But, to her surprise, Darkstar wasn’t in the medicine den. Petalkit didn’t feel any relief, though. Sometimes Cloudpaw took her to Darkstar’s den after she was done interrogating Petalkit. 

“Sit,” Echosnout flicked her tail. Petalkit sat down, slouching ungracefully. She pawed at the loose, soft grass in front of her. Echosnout went and busied herself in the back of the den, organizing the herb stores, leaving the day’s meeting to Cloudpaw.

“How was today?” Cloudpaw asked, tipping her head in a way Petalkit learned to interpret as “friendly interest”. 

“The same as every other day,” Petalkit muttered.

“Okay,” Cloudpaw nodded, keeping her tone light. “Was it good?”

“No,” Petalkit snapped. 

“What happened?” Cloudpaw asked, leaning forward. Petalkit flattened her ears in frustration. These were the same stupid questions Cloudpaw asked her every day. And every day, Petalkit gave the same, stupid answers. Cloudpaw seemed under the delusion that she was being helpful. How long would Cloudpaw insist they keep up this meaningless charade before she gave up? 

“I repaired some weak spots in the wall. Then I replaced the moss in the elders’ den,” Petalkit muttered. “There. I answered your questions. Can we be done now?” 

Cloudpaw shared a glance with her mentor, who’d just emerged from the back of the den.

“Not yet, Petalkit,” Cloudpaw mewed carefully. “Could you tell me more about your chores? Why do you say it went poorly?” 

“Who cares?” Petalkit lashed her tail. She’d tried complaining about the elders’ scorn before. When Cloudpaw took it to Darkstar, the leader tried to help, but Petalkit discovered that the elders respected Darkstar almost as little as they respected Petalkit. 

“I care,” Cloudpaw mewed. “You come here so I can help you, remember?”

“I come here because Darkstar makes me,” Petalkit snapped. “I hate it here.”

“You used to love coming to the medicine den,” Cloudpaw mewed. “Why did that change?”

Memories of the fight with her father flashed in the back of Petalkit’s mind. She clenched her eyes shut, trying to will herself to forget it.

“I don’t know,” Petalkit replied. “You’re the medicine cat. You figure it out.” 

Cloudpaw inhaled deeply, studying Petalkit for a long, uncomfortable moment. 

“Very well. We’re done for today, Petalkit,” Cloudpaw finally mewed. “But, Darkstar wants to see you before you go back to the nursery.”

Frog-dung! Petalkit lashed her tail in annoyance, but didn’t protest. However, before Cloudpaw could lead Petalkit away, Echosnout stopped them.

“Hold up,” the old medicine cat called out. “Cloudpaw, come here.”

Cloudpaw blinked in surprise, but obeyed her mentor. 

“What is it, Echosnout? Did I mis-order the herbs again?” she mewed, a playful tone to her voice.

“No, actually. Surprising, I know. But you’ve improved in your duties a lot since Petalkit joined RiverClan,” Echosnout gave Petalkit a nod. “I want to talk to Darkstar about giving you your full name.” 

Cloudpaw’s eyes widened, and she began kneading her paws on the ground excitedly. Petalkit couldn’t help feeling shocked as well. The apprentice’s name was long overdue; she was close to twenty-six moons old. Petalkit had almost forgotten she was still an apprentice, because of her large size. 

“Should everything go well, I’ll be promoting you at the next half-moon gathering,” Echosnout mewed, pride glittering in her eyes. Petalkit expected to see the same feeling reflected in Cloudpaw’s face, but to her shock, the apprentice suddenly looked crestfallen.

She’s waited so long already, what’s another quarter-moon? Petalkit scoffed, until Cloudpaw spoke.

“I- There’s an issue, Echosnout,” Cloudpaw mewed quietly. Echosnout narrowed her eyes.

“Well come out with it then,” she replied brusquely. “What’s the problem?”

“I don’t know if I’ll still be here,” Cloudpaw mumbled. “In RiverClan, I mean.”

“What do you mean?” Echosnout raised an eyebrow. 

“I- well, I want… No, well, I think I should go to ThunderClan,” she mewed, so quiet it was almost as if she didn’t want Echosnout to hear. In response, silence overtook the den, like a chilly, leafbare breeze. 

“WHAT?!” Petalkit, to her own surprise, found herself being the first to protest. Echosnout, however, looked intrigued.

“Explain yourself,” she commanded. Cloudpaw shifted on her paws, her gaze flitting around the medicine den.

“Their clan is in duress,” Cloudpaw murmured. “You saw how they were at the last gathering, a quarter-moon ago! Only three cats showed up. Oakstar wasn’t even there!” 

“Good riddance to him, I say,” Echosnout growled.

“No, you don’t understand,” Cloudpaw pleaded. “I was in their camp. The desolation, the stench of illness… they need a medicine cat. I don’t care how high the tensions between our clans are. I’m a medicine cat. We heal beyond borders. ShadowClan and WindClan don’t have one to spare. But if you’re confident enough in my skills that I take my full name, I- I’d rather go, and help another clan.” 

Echosnout studied her apprentice for a long time. Petalkit felt conflicting emotions worming inside her. If Cloudpaw was gone, then she wouldn’t have to attend these annoying meetings with her every day! But, then, she would have one less friend in the clan. A list that, as of late, really did not need any more trimming down. 

“You understand that you will be at the mercy of Oakstar,” Echosnout mewed carefully. “He may not be so eager to accept you into the clan. I will no longer be your mentor. You will have to rely on Oakstar to get your full name.”

“I know, I know. I know I’ve worked for my full name longer than most cats. But my name isn’t what’s important to me right now. Helping cats is. I’d rather be in ThunderClan, still with my apprentice name, if it means I can prevent cats from suffering.” Cloudpaw raised her head, puffing out her chest with certainty. 

Petalkit’s heart sank, against her own will. The more Cloudpaw talked, the more she realized that this was actually happening. She was going to lose another cat. She willed herself to shut down her heart, to stop caring, to stop the pain creeping in. But there was nothing she could do.

“Very well,” Echosnout nodded. “I approve of your decision.” 

Cloudpaw’s ears perked up. 

“When I chose you to be my apprentice, I knew I was making the right decision. No matter how long it takes Oakstar to give your name, know that you have the heart of a true medicine cat. May StarClan light your path.” Echosnout’s voice was rarely genuine, her normal sardonic wit gone. She leaned forward, touching her graying muzzle to her apprentice’s forehead. Cloudpaw purred in response. 

“I’ll make you proud, I promise,” Cloudpaw mewed quietly.

“You already have,” Echosnout replied. Then, her usual biting tone returned. “Now, take that troublesome kit, and tell Darkstar about your mouse-brained idea!” 

Cloudpaw beamed, trotting across camp as if her paws were as light as her namesake. Her white fur shone even in the weak, overcast light, just like the snow blanketing the ground. Petalkit followed behind, trying to avoid the gazes of other cats. Troutclaw and Tanglewhisker, promoted to warriors not long ago, sat with Birdsong, sharing tongues. Birdsong stopped grooming Tanglewhisker’s shaggy tabby pelt long enough to shoot a sneer Petalkit’s way. Petalkit pulled her lips back into a snarl, before dropping her head again. She could feel some of the other warriors leering at her, their eyes drilling into her pelt. None of them seemed particularly keen on talking to her. Not that they’d been chatty before, but ever since she attacked her own father, some cats seemed nervous they might be next.

Whatever, Petalkit thought to herself. I don’t need any of them. Stupid frog-brains. 

Spiketail had her wait outside the den while Cloudpaw met with Darkstar. He’d grown noticeably less warm to her over the last half-moon, but Petalkit didn’t care. She didn’t have to waste time making pointless small-talk with him anymore. The unkempt deputy sat at attention, his gaze scanning the camp, occasionally twitching his tail. 

After a few moments, Darkstar emerged from her den, following Cloudpaw. The leader’s gaze was sorrowful, but she moved past Petalkit, making for the center of camp. In one swift leap, she cleared the height, landing gracefully on top of the rock where she made announcements.

“Let all cats old enough to swim gather here for a clan meeting!” She called out. Cats’ heads popped up in confusion, but once they saw Cloudpaw sitting at the base of the rock, many of their expressions brightened.

They must think she’s finally getting her full name, Petalkit observed dryly. Cloudpaw, despite her troubles with her training, was popular in the clan. Many preferred her kindness to Echosnout’s sharp tongue. The murmurs died down as Darkstar raised her tail for silence. 

“RiverClan, I gather you here today to make an announcement about Cloudpaw, our apprentice medicine cat. She will be-”

“-Getting her full name, right?” Called out Milkfur, a senior warrior. 

“About time!” Rainfall mewed, looking delighted. He gave Cloudpaw an encouraging nod. “That old badger Echosnout couldn’t hold you back forever!” 

Cloudpaw dipped her head in embarrassment, shuffling her paws.

“No, no. Though Cloudpaw’s full name is very well deserved, that’s not-” Darkstar began, but the crowd began murmuring, interrupting her.

“You’re holding her back!” Petalkit felt her fur prickle as she recognized Appledusk’s cold mew. She hadn’t spoken to her father in the last half-moon, avoiding him as best she could in camp. 

“What do you have against her?” Birdsong yowled. “She’s served the clan loyally for seasons now!”

“Be quiet, Birdsong!” Troutclaw hissed at his friend. 

“Listen to Darkstar, young ones,” Eeltail reminded them quietly. 

“Silence!” Darkstar yowled, and the crowd obeyed. “This meeting is about Cloudpaw’s choice. She has decided that she will be moving to ThunderClan, to replace their late medicine cat.”

Like in the medicine den, silence fell over the crowd. Then, the uproar began.

“Traitor!” Snarled Perchpaw angrily from next to Appledusk. Petalkit rolled her eyes at the angry apprentice.

“But Ravenwing just replaced Oatspeckle!” Eeltail called out. 

“She’s going to tell all our secrets to ThunderClan!” howled Rainfall. 

“Enough!” Petalkit could tell Darkstar’s patience was wearing thin. “Yes, it is true that our relations with ThunderClan are not good right now. But Cloudpaw is a medicine cat. Medicine cats heal beyond borders and rivalries. Ravenwing was killed by unknown causes, leaving ThunderClan with no medicine cat. It is cruel to leave any clan without a healer. RiverClan is the only Clan with one to spare. It is Cloudpaw’s decision to make this change, and it is a decision I, and all of you, must respect.” 

The clamor died down, but there were still rumbles of dissent in the crowd. Darkstar leapt down from the rock and turned to Cloudpaw, who still sat as proudly as she could manage, despite the clan’s accusations.

“May StarClan light your path, Cloudpaw,” she mewed, nodding to the apprentice. Cloudpaw nodded back. 

“I’ll escort her to their camp,” Spiketail mewed. “In case Oakstar… isn’t so agreeable.” 

Darkstar paused for a moment, but then nodded her approval. Petalkit expected Cloudpaw to head for the camp exit, but instead the large white apprentice headed straight for her.

“Goodbye, Petalkit,” she mewed. “It was nice getting to know you.” 

Petalkit felt another flicker of anguish, but pushed it down. 

“Okay,” Petalkit muttered back, a bit flustered. “Goodbye, Cloudpaw.”

Cloudpaw blinked at her warmly. She then went to share one last goodbye with her mentor, before allowing Spiketail to lead her out of camp. Petalkit watched the tip of her fluffy white tail disappear into the gap in the reeds, feeling a sense of foreboding settle over her. She could only hope her meeting with Darkstar would be brief, so she could get back to the nursery, and tell Reedshine about Cloudpaw’s choice to leave RiverClan. 

Chapter Text

“How were your chores today?” Reedshine purred. The dark ginger queen was situated in her nest in the nursery. She laid on her side, giving her big belly plenty of room for comfort. The leaf-bare cold didn’t penetrate the nursery as deeply, with its thickly-woven walls, made even more sturdy by Reedshine, who’d become nest-bound for the last quarter-moon. Petalkit’s meeting with Darkstar had been mercifully brief, just more of the same questioning as usual. Petalkit wasn’t into the idea of being interrogated any more after the departure of Cloudpaw.

“Bad,” Petalkit snapped. “The stupid elders are so cranky.”

“Ah, but they’re elders,” Reedshine mewed sympathetically. “It’s their job to be cranky.”

“Wish they could be cranky to somebody else,” Petalkit muttered. She circled in her own nest, right next to Reedshine’s, before settling down with her paws tucked under her. Once she stopped fidgeting, Reedshine leaned over, and licked between her ears comfortingly, smoothing down the fur that was ruffled out of place by her work.

“You’re getting so big,” Reedshine purred in amusement. “These chores are making you strong. You’ll have a head start on your apprenticeship!”

“Not like any cat wants me as their apprentice,” Petalkit mumbled self-consciously, a bit embarrassed by Reedshine’s praise. 

“I’d be your mentor, if only I weren’t so close to kitting,” Reedshine sighed. Petalkit perked her ears up.

“You would?” she asked, trying to mask her excitement.

“In an ideal world,” Reedshine sighed. “I can’t mentor you now, if you hit me too hard one of the kits might come flying out! Then I’d have to mentor two cats.” 

Petalkit couldn’t help giving a small chuff of laughter. Reedshine always managed to lift her spirits, even when she had a particularly terrible day. 

“Aw, there’s the smile I like seeing!” Reedshine mewed mischievously. “I knew you had it in you.” 

Embarrassed, Petalkit quickly tried to twist her face back into a scowl, but that just made Reedshine laugh even harder. 

“Now come on, tell me, what did the stinky old elders say this time?” Reedshine asked. She began grooming Petalkit’s shoulders and back, imploring the young kit to talk.

“Well, Sloefur and Icewhisker were as demanding as ever,” Petalkit explained. “They thought I did the work badly. And Blackbee said-”

“You heard Blackbee talk?” Reedshine’s eyes widened in surprise. “I’ve never heard her utter so much as a peep!”

“I wish she’d say less,” Petalkit muttered. “She said I can’t do anything good, because I’ve got ThunderClan blood.”

Reedshine flicked an ear, moving to smooth down the fur on Petalkit’s shoulders.

“Elders can be very… traditional,” she mewed. “They’re not kind to Darkstar, either.” 

“I noticed,” Petalkit grumbled, thinking about how they feign respect to the leader, and then gossip about her as soon as she leaves their den

“It’s hard to change how other cats feel,” Reedshine assured her. “You just have to focus on your own feelings.”

“That’s stupid,” Petalkit replied half-heartedly. 

“I know it’s stupid,” Reedshine wrinkled her nose playfully. “That’s why I told you.” 

The days passed in monotony, with Petalkit repeating the same routine every sunrise. Waking up, tending to the elders, talking with Echosnout and Darkstar. The motions weren’t any more bearable with Cloudpaw gone; in fact, with Echosnout’s guidance, Petalkit almost began to miss the bee-brained apprentice. Darkstar was barely any help either, the stern leader remaining as distant as ever in their short meetings. 

“You have grown quite strong,” Darkstar noted, one chilly afternoon. Nearly a quarter-moon since Cloudpaw departed, the camp was being thrust deeper and deeper into leaf-bare, the chill creeping into the den and hooking its claws into both cats. Petalkit could feel the change in herself, though. Like she had hardier muscles and a thicker pelt, better suited to staying warm than the fragile body of a kit.

“Reedshine said so too,” Petalkit replied boredly. She sat across from Darkstar, who laid in her nest with her paws tucked under herself. The den smelled lightly less stale today; Spiketail must have been in here to help clean recently. 

“Petalkit, do you know what day tomorrow is?” Darkstar asked. Petalkit huffed, and then halfheartedly wracked her brain, trying to see if she could come up with anything. 

“Another day where I take care of the stupid elders?” Petalkit bit back. 

“The elders have earned their comfortable life,” Darkstar chided. “But no, Petalkit, that isn’t it.”

“Well then what is it?” Petalkit snapped. 

“It has been nearly two full moons since you came to RiverClan’s camp,” Darkstar mewed.

“So?” Petalkit asked.

“You were four moons old when you joined RiverClan, no?” Darkstar raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, about,” Petalkit mewed. 

“So, you are six moons old,” Darkstar explained. Petalkit paused. Admittedly, she hadn’t even been thinking about the time passing. Her routine was so miserable and dull as of late, she didn’t even know how many days went by. But if she was six moons old…

“I guess you’re going to give me a stupid mentor,” Petalkit growled. “And finally force me to drown myself in the river.”

“You’ll learn to swim, like any other RiverClan apprentice,” Darkstar assured her. 

“None of the other cats like me,” Petalkit mewed. She shivered, thinking what it would be like with Birdsong or Rainfall as her mentor. “If I don’t drown myself, they’ll finish the job.”

“Well, you haven’t done much to win their favor,” Darkstar retorted. “But I have a proposition for you.” 

Petalkit pricked her ears in interest. 

“I know how Reedshine offered to help with your swimming,” Darkstar mewed. “I’ve spoken with her. She’s willing to mentor you.”

Petalkit felt her heart skip a beat. Reedshine was the only cat she wanted as her mentor, but she never dared utter her wish. She opened her mouth to respond, but Darkstar cut her off.

“ However, there is a catch,” she explained carefully. “Reedshine won’t be able to leave her kits for long until they’re weaned.”

Petalkit paused. Her apprenticeship was being delayed. Did Darkstar intend this as a punishment, for attacking Appledusk?

“How long does that take?” Petalkit asked. 

“Kits are usually weaned between one and one-and-a-half moons,” Darkstar explained. “It could be more or less, though. Some kits are fussier than others.”

“So I can be Reedshine’s apprentice, if I just wait an extra moon?” Petalkit asked. For the first time since attacking Appledusk, she felt hope flare in her chest. 

“Yes,” Darkstar mewed. “I’ll expect you on your best behavior until then, no?”

Petalkit scuffed a paw on the floor, embarrassed. She’d hardly broken any rules at all in the last moon… Sure, she was a bit rude, but did it really matter that much?

Petalkit didn’t get a chance to ask, because a shriek ripped through camp, an agonizingly familiar shriek. Petalkit’s stomach lurched.

“Reedshine!” Petalkit exclaimed, recognizing her friend’s voice immediately. Darkstar sat bolt upright, her bright blue eyes widening in unmistakable fear. 

“The kits must be coming,” Darkstar struggled to keep her mew from trembling. As soon as she uttered the words, Spiketail stuck his head into the den.

“Darkstar, Petalkit,” he greeted the two she-cats. “Seems like your meeting will be cut short.”

Petalkit turned to Darkstar, whose gaze grew unfocused. She sat upright, still as stone, staring straight into the distance. 

“Lets go for a stroll, shall we?” Spiketail padded over and nudged her gently. The leader nodded slowly, but didn’t speak. She allowed Spiketail to lead her across the clearing and out of camp, walking with her head low and tail dragging in the mud. Several cats watched her go, some confused, while others looked disdainful. Petalkit, however, wasted no time bolting straight for the nursery, but luckily Echosnout beat her there. The old medicine cat already crouched beside Reedshine’s nest, coaxing several herbs into the queen. Reedshine writhed in agony, letting out grunts and moans of pain.

“Why is she yelling so much?” Petalkit asked. “Does it hurt her?”

“Of course it hurts, you half-wit,” Echosnout snapped. “Did Spiketail get Darkstar out of camp?”

“Yes,” Petalkit replied. “But I don’t get what that has to do with-”

Reedshine shrieked in pain, digging her claws into her bedding. Echosnout swore loudly, reaching to try and hold the writhing queen in place.

“Hold still! Oh, of all the times for my apprentice to go and abandoned me,” she muttered. Petalkit bolted over to Echosnout’s side.

“Let me help,” Petalkit urged, feeling sympathy for her friend rise up in her chest. Echosnout swung her head and studied Petalkit with narrowed eyes.

“Very well. But what you’re about to see isn’t pretty,” Echosnout warned.

Echosnout was right. Petalkit cringed and had to look away several times, but after what felt like an eternity, the black-and-white medicine cat dropped a tiny, wet bundle at Petalkit’s paws. A kit. 

“Lick the fur backwards,” she instructed. “And don’t stop until it’s breathing. There’s more kits coming.” 

Reedshine let out a low moan as Petalkit wrinkled her nose. The kit smelled odd, and tasted even stranger. Petalkit wondered if she smelled and tasted this weird as a newborn. There was no cat here to tell her; all the cats present at her birth were dead, or exiled. 

Eventually, the tiny kit let out mewls of protest. 

“Good,” Echosnout grunted. “That means it’s breathing. Put it next to Reedshine’s belly, and get to work on this one.” 

Petalkit repeated the same steps for the second kit, and then the third. Finally, Reedshine let out a sigh of relief, relaxing into her ruined nest. 

“Do you feel any more kits?” Echosnout asked.

“No,” Reedshine mewed. “I just feel tired.” 

“Good,” Echosnout replied. She pushed some more herbs towards Reedshine. “Your bleeding levels are normal, and the kits are all feeding. Just take these, and send Petalkit to fetch me if you feel any pain.” 

“You don’t want to stay and greet the kits?” Petalkit tipped her head.

“Great StarClan, no,” Echosnout snorted. “You’re already one too many kits for me to deal with.” 

With a prompt tail-wave goodbye, Echosnout disappeared back into camp. Petalkit heard the medicine cat announcing Reedshine’s successful birth to the Clan: three healthy she-kits. Petalkit drew closer to her friend’s nest apprehensively. Reedshine looked as if she’d drifted to sleep, but the queen lifted her head to meet Petalkit’s gaze.

“Go on, silly,” she mewed encouragingly. “Say hi.” 

Petalkit peered down at the tiny bundles of fur. They were beginning to dry off, and Petalkit could see two of them inherited Reedshine’s bushy, plumy fur. The other had shorter, pale brown fur. 

It looks like Appledusk, Petalkit gritted her teeth. Then, she noticed the color of her own paws, standing not far from the kits. And me, I guess.

The second kit was a gray tabby, and the third dark ginger like its mother. 

“What do you think?” Petalkit asked, looking at Reedshine. The dark ginger queen gazed down at her kits. Petalkit expected to see the same loving gaze she’d once received from Mapleshade, but Reedshine looked… lost. Uncertain. 

“They’ll be fine warriors,” Reedshine mewed simply. 

She doesn’t sound very enthusiastic. 

“What are their names?” Petalkit asked.

“StarClan’s sake, Petalkit,” Reedshine mewed, humor returning to her tone. “Let me rest for a minute first.” 

Petalkit shuffled back, settling down in her nest and drawing her paws underneath herself. Reedshine laid her head down and sighed deeply, sweeping her bushy tail around the kits snuggled at her belly. Eventually the queen’s breathing became regular, as she drifted into deep sleep. Petalkit lowered her head onto her paws, watching Reedshine’s flank rise and fall. She’d fallen asleep even before the kits finished feeding. One of the kits, the dark ginger one, stuck its nose in the air, and began squeaking in alarm, as cool air filtering from the nursery entrance hit its nose. 

“Be quiet!” Petalkit hissed. “Reedshine is trying to get some sleep!”

The kit just kept mewling, ignoring her. It had a bulbous head, tiny folded ears, and eyes sealed shut. 

Oh yeah, Petalkit thought. Didn’t Cloudpaw once say kits were blind and deaf for five sunrises after they’re born?

Well, Reedshine could definitely hear them, if she woke up. As quietly as she could manage, Petalkit slid out of her nest and dragged it in front of Reedshine’s, so her body would block most of the cold, leaf-bare chill. When the kit still insisted on making a racket, Petalkit inched herself close, and gave it some licks on its forehead. The familiarity of the action caused a bloom of warmth in her chest. However, sharp, cold grief quickly chased it out  as she remembered Mapleshade soothing her, Larchkit, and Patchkit the same way.

It’s been two moons since I saw any of them, Petalkit thought. 

Are Patchkit and Larchkit watching me from StarClan?

…Is Mapleshade?

Had her mother joined the ranks of their starry ancestors? Would they let her in, after she broke the code so flagrantly? There was no way for Petalkit to know. Her mother could be living as a rogue, or a loner. 

They don’t cross my mind as often anymore, Petalkit thought guiltily. Am I forgetting about them? Do Patchkit and Larchkit think I don’t care about them anymore?

The thought troubled her. These days, the ThunderClan nursery seemed an eternity away. She could remember it, but every time she tried, it grew dimmer. Fuzzier. She felt her heart quicken, wondering if she would one day forget it altogether. 

She looked down at the tiny, dark ginger kit in front of her. It finally settled down, nuzzling back into Reedshine’s belly fur. If the queen’s belly weren’t so much paler than the rest of her, the kit might have disappeared into her, perfectly camouflaged. It let out a mighty yawn, and soon enough it was snoozing alongside its two sisters. Petalkit watched the kits sleep, the warmth in her chest blooming once again. She settled back into her own nest, content to block the cold air from reaching Reedshine and her kits. 

These kits aren’t just my kin, she thought. They’re my clanmates, too.   

And for the first time in a while, Petalkit felt okay. 

Chapter Text

“I expect I’ll be allowed into the nursery to see my kits?” 

A deep, rumbly mew awoke Petalkit from her sleep. She groaned, rolling over and trying to cover her ear with a paw. She recognized the voice of Appledusk, though he sounded uncharacteristically… excited. His snide, self-important tone wasn’t gone, of course, but Petalkit could believe he actually wanted to meet his new daughters. 

Contempt roiled in Petalkit’s belly, like a pit of eels. 

I’ve been here for the last two moons, frog-brain! 

“You can go in if Reedshine allows it,” retorted Echosnout. She sounded closer, as if she were blocking the entrance. 

“Okay, fine, let me ask her,” Appledusk grunted.

“No, I’ll be asking for you,” the medicine cat snapped. “Stay here. If you put one paw in the nursery before Reedshine allows it, I’ll personally make sure Petalkit doesn’t get any punishment the next time she uses you as a training dummy.” 

“Like I’d let a traitorous kit lay a claw on me,” Appledusk scoffed.

“ Your traitorous kit,” Echosnout reminded him. “Now, can I go? Or would you like to stay out here, freezing our pads off in the cold?”

Appledusk didn’t respond, and shortly after Echosnout ducked into the nursery. Fat snowflakes clung to the black spots on her fur, making her look more brindled than bicolored. 

“Morning, Petalkit,” Echosnout grunted. 

“Petalkit’s awake?” Reedshine’s head shot up. The queen had been dozing, evidently, rather than sleeping. 

“Mmmyeah,” Petalkit grumbled. She stood up and stretched, feeling satisfaction as she arched her back and sprawled out her toes, trying to wring the exhaustion out of her body. She shuddered a bit when the leaf-bare chill hit her belly fur, but she shook it off quickly. 

“How do you feel this morning?” Echosnout asked Reedshine. “Any pain or bleeding?”

“I’ve got a bad bellyache,” Reedshine mewed. “Other than that, I feel okay.”

“A bellyache is normal,” Echosnout replied. “If it gets unbearable, though, Petalkit can fetch you more herbs.” 

“Excuse me!” Appledusk called from outside the nursery. “Aren’t you going to ask her if I can come in?”

Echosnout flashed an annoyed look at Reedshine. 

“I’m obligated to ask. Do you want him to see the kits?” the medicine cat asked.

“Well I don’t want him to,” Reedshine mewed. “But, I know he won’t stay away until I give him what he wants.”

“Don’t let him walk all over you,” Echosnout snapped. “If you don’t want him in here, I’ll send him away.” 

Reedshine shook her head, looking at the ground.

“I’d rather just get it over with,” she mewed. “Maybe he’ll be kinder, with the kits around.”

Yeah right, Petalkit had to resist rolling her eyes. From Echosnout’s expression, Petalkit guessed the medicine cat agreed with her. But Echosnout honored Reedshine’s wish, no matter how foolish she thought it was, and turned to exit the nursery, allowing Appledusk to enter. He scowled at Petalkit, giving her as wide a berth as the enclosed space would allow, as he crept up towards Reedshine in her nest. Petalkit noticed that Reedshine tensed a bit, but didn’t let her apprehension show.

“Hello, Appledusk,” Reedshine mewed. “It’s been a while. Since you visited.”

“I wanted to see my kits,” Appledusk mewed awkwardly. “Can I?”

Reedshine sighed, and moved her plumy tail. The tiny, fully dry kits snuggled up next to her belly, not quite awake and ready to feed yet.

“They’re awfully small,” Appledusk mewed.

“They’re only half a day old,” Reedshine replied tartly. “Haven’t you ever seen a kit before?”

Appledusk flashed a look back at Petalkit, who did her best to give him the stink-eye.

“Well, Petalkit was never that small,” he mumbled.

“You didn’t meet me until I was two moons old!” Petalkit retorted, thinking of her dimmest memory. “I didn’t even need milk anymore!” 

“Okay, so I don’t know a lot about kits,. I’m a tom, what did you expect?” Appledusk muttered. Hastily, he changed the topic. “Do they have names?”

Reedshine shifted a bit in her nest, avoiding his gaze.

“No,” she mewed. “I haven’t thought of any yet.”

Appledusk frowned, not bothering to hide his disappointment.

“Why not? You’ve been sitting around in the nursery for nearly a moon! Surely you haven’t had anything better to do!”

Reedshine’s ears drooped, and she drew her bushy tail back around the kits.

“I’ve been helping with camp repairs,” she defended herself weakly. Appledusk suppressed a scoff in response.

“Well, you aren’t anymore, so name them,” he grunted. “You’re their mother. Or do I need to do it for you?”

“Don’t rush her,” Petalkit snapped, feeling a surge of indignation.

“I’m going to name them,” Reedshine murmured. “I promise.” 

Seeing Reedshine draw in on herself and her voice grow quiet made Petalkit pull her lips back into a snarl.

“Okay, you saw the kits. Now get lost,” she snapped at Appledusk. The light brown tom turned to face her, narrowing his bright green eyes. 

“You don’t command me,” he hissed back. “You’re just a kit, remember?”

Your kit, Petalkit wanted to shout. I’m your kit, you self-absorbed fleabag!

“Well, Reedshine clearly doesn’t want you here anymore,” Petalkit kept her tone as firm as she could manage. “So beat it.”

Appledusk stood for a moment, as if weighing the options in his mind. Momentarily, nervousness flashed in this eyes. Did he think Petalkit would attack him again?

Would I? Petalkit asked herself.

 Appledusk didn’t give her an opportunity to decide, because he rose from his spot next to Reedshine’s nest and stalked from the nursery, mumbling something under his breath. Reedshine watched him go, her brows furrowed. 

“I hate that guy,” Petalkit huffed once he was gone. Reedshine looked at her in surprise.

“Really?” she asked. “He’s your father!” 

Petalkit snorted, settling back down with her paws underneath herself. Appledusk didn’t bother to avoid her nest, so parts of it were now a bit squashed by his pawsteps.

“He doesn’t act like it,” Petalkit mewed. “He’s just another annoying clanmate to me. An extra annoying clanmate.”

“But you used to follow him around!” Reedshine tipped her head, perplexed. 

“That was before I saw what a fox-heart he is,” Petalkit growled, flexing her claws. “What kind of father calls his own kit a traitor? I wish he could just disappear.” 

Reedshine lowered her head, staring at the kits wriggling at her belly. Two of them, the dark ginger and gray tabby, were awake and trying to sniff their way to a morning meal. When a long silence passed without Reedshine replying, Petalkit decided to change the subject.

“Have you thought of any names?” Petalkit asked.

Reedshine shook her head sadly.

“To be honest, I’ve been dreading their arrival,” Reedshine admitted in a low mew. “Separating from Appledusk was really hard. And seeing him now, with our kits… I miss him, sometimes.”

“Miss him?!” Petalkit exclaimed. “Why? He treats you like crowfood!” 

“It wasn’t always that way,” Reedshine murmured, almost wistful. “We were mates for seasons, before he decided to… well, be secret mates with Mapleshade. I was really happy. So was he. We wanted kits so badly. He sounded genuinely excited about the kits just now. I felt like… like I was getting a glimpse of what could’ve been.” 

Petalkit felt a flare of anger at Appledusk. How could he have ruined something so wonderful? Reedshine’s head hung low, her body pulled in on itself. Her despair reminded Petalkit dimly of another she-cat.

“I think Mapleshade felt the same,” Petalkit replied. “She was really happy, until Ravenwing discovered who our real father was, and we got thrown out of ThunderClan.”

“And then Appledusk rejected her…” Reedshine mewed, trailing off. Petalkit studied the queen closely, but her expression was unreadable.

“Do you hate Mapleshade?” Petalkit asked. 

“I… I don’t know. I don’t think I should,” Reedshine shook her head. “Instinctually, I want  to be angry with her. And sometimes, I am. Because it feels like she stole something from me. But she was just as clueless as I was. Appledusk made fools out of both of us.” 

“It’s Appledusk who chose to do that,” Petalkit lashed her tail. “You and Mapleshade trusted him! That’s not foolish.” 

Reedshine heaved a deep sigh.

“You’re right, as usual,” she purred. She leaned over and gave Petalkit a lick on top of her head. “I think I have some name ideas now.”

“What are they?” Petalkit asked, feeling excitement prick in her paws. 

“I think… this one will be Willowkit, and this one Shykit,” With her tail, Reedshine motioned to the gray and dark ginger kits respectively. Then, she indicated the third. “And this last one, Applekit.”

“ Apple kit?” Petalkit responded dubiously. “Don’t you think that name is a bit… rotten?”

“Not if a cat I love has it,” Reedshine replied. She sounded unsure; like she was trying to convince herself. 

“Okay then,” Petalkit shrugged. “I guess it’s like that snail shell.” 

“The snail shell?” Reedshine looked momentarily confused. Then, she purred with laughter. “Oh! The one I dropped in the middle of the river!”

“The one I’m going to get back for you, when I’m an apprentice!” Petalkit mewed determinedly. “We can associate apples with something else. Something that makes us happy. Then it’ll be like Appledusk never even existed!”

Reedshine gazed down at her kits. For the first time, Petalkit saw a spark of warmth in her eyes, as the queen curled around her three new daughters more closely. 

Darkstar visited Reedshine later that day. It was the first time Petalkit saw the leader in the nursery, since the very first morning she explored camp. 

“Congratulations,” Darkstar mewed to Reedshine. The leader looked focused and clear, but not entirely so; like she was struggling to stay present. 

“Thank you,” Reedshine dipped her head. Then, she leaned closer to her former mentor, dropping her voice. “Are you… okay?”

“I’m fine,” Darkstar mewed quickly. “I’m here to meet the newest members of my clan.” 

Reedshine brushed her tail to the side, revealing the three small kits feeding at her belly. Darkstar lowered her head to sniff the tiny forms.

“They look healthy and strong. StarClan has blessed you,” Darkstar mewed. 

“Oh, I don’t know…” Reedshine murmured, her voice trailing off. Then, after a moment of silence, she added quietly, “How did you do it?

Darkstar stiffened, throwing a glance Petalkit’s way before she responded.

“I’m still learning,” she replied in a low mew. “It isn’t easy. But you’re doing great already.”

An uneasy silence hung between the former mentor and apprentice. 

“Thank you for coming to visit the kits, Darkstar,” Reedshine nodded at the leader.

“Of course,” Darkstar replied. “They aren’t the only kits I came to see, though.”

Darkstar turned to Petalkit, fixing her in an icy blue gaze. Though, Petalkit noticed, her expression was softer than usual as of late.

“What now?” Petalkit muttered. 

“You might notice nobody came to fetch you for chores this morning,” Darkstar mewed. Petalkit twitched an ear impatiently. What was the old leader mewing about now?

“So?” she asked. 

“I think it’s about time your punishment ended,” Darkstar nodded. “You’ve learned your lesson, no?”

“Sure,” Petalkit shrugged. Despite her tone, she felt lighter, like a burden was lifted.

No more dealing with Sloefur and Icewhisker’s gossip!  

“Very well,” Darkstar mewed. “You no longer need to report at dawn for duty at the elders’ den, or repair walls in the camp. You can go back to playing and frolicking, as most kits do.”

Reedshine suppressed a snort of laughter, while Petalkit flattened her ears in embarrassment. 

I don’t do that dumb kit stuff! She thought hotly. I’m basically an apprentice! 

“Some more news, Reedshine,” Darkstar continued. “Eeltail will be returning to the nursery soon, to help you both with the kits.”

Reedshine nodded, but Petalkit tipped her head on one side.

“Both?” she asked.

“I saw how you moved your nest to protect them from the cold,” Reedshine purred. “You’re a very good big sister.”

“Indeed,” Darkstar mewed. “One might even think Reedshine was your mother, if it weren’t so unusual for different litters to be so close together.”

Petalkit swiveled her head, looking at Reedshine with wide, surprised eyes. She’d never really considered that before- but it did make sense. Reedshine seemed to act more motherly towards Petalkit than her own newborn kits.

“Petalkit looks so much like Applekit as well,” Reedshine’s nose wrinkled in amusement. “I anticipate when they’re both older, other cats might mistake them for littermates.”

“But Reedshine is going to mentor me,” Petalkit pointed out. “Kin doesn’t mentor kin, right? Does that not apply to adopted kin?”

Darkstar shrugged.

“That’s never really been a rule,” she mewed. “An apprentice should be mentored by the best cat for the job. In this case, there’s no doubt it’s Reedshine.” 

Reedshine pricked her ears, pride glowing in her eyes. Having finished her spiel, Darkstar stood up, whisking her tail.

“That’s all the news I have to share with the two of you,” she mewed. “I’ll be taking my leave now. I’ve got to check in with Echosnout on Birdsong and Splashfoot’s treatments. But if you need anything,”

The leader fixed Reedshine with a very firm gaze.

“Don’t be afraid to ask, okay?”

Reedshine nodded her thanks, and Darkstar departed from the nursery.

“Petalkit… Petalkit” Petalkit felt tiny paws jabbing into her belly fur. 

“Go back to sleep, Willowkit,” Petalkit grumbled, gently batting the little kit away from her.

“B-buh Shykit-” Willowkit mewed back, before being interrupted.

“PEEEEETAAAAAALKIT!”

Petalkit jerked up, her fur bushing. The shriek sounded right next to her ear! She heard a soft thud behind her, and whirled around to see a dark ginger fuzzball scrabbling on the ground. Quickly, Petalkit leaned down, using her nose to help the kit right herself. She currently laid in Reedshine’s nest, keeping her younger sisters warm while the queen stretched her legs outside. Eeltail, who was much larger than Petalkit, usually took this job, but the foster-queen elected to go on a patrol today, promising she’d bring back something fun for the kits.

“Shykit, for StarClan’s sake,” Petalkit snapped. “Don’t yowl into my ear like that!” 

Shykit just giggled mischievously and began clambering up Petalkit’s flank, tumbling down onto her other side. All three kits just started speaking a few sunrises ago, and they mostly communicated in short, clumsy sentences, the words often mashing together. They struggled with most words too, only understanding the most important ones, like mama and hungry and Petalkit.  

“Wheres’mama?” a tiny, trembling voice murmured. Shykit landed next to Applekit, who stared up at Petalkit with huge, fearful blue eyes. 

“I’m huuuuungry,” Willowkit whined. 

“You’re always hungry,” Petalkit grumbled. “And Reedshine is getting some fresh-kill. She’s barely been gone for two tail-twitches!”

The kits weren’t listening anymore, though. Shykit took a few wobbly steps, and clumsily attempted to pounce on Applekit. Applekit squeaked in fear, rolling away. Shykit tried to give chase, but tripped, falling in the moss. Willowkit and Applekit couldn’t walk just yet, but Shykit was beginning to take her first steps on wobbly, short legs. The kits were over a half-moon old now, starting to explore and become more curious about their surroundings. Petalkit knew it wouldn’t be long before she and Reedshine would have to constantly haul Shykit away from the nursery entrance. 

Reedshine sure picked a lousy name for that kit! 

“I’m back,” Reedshine purred, pushing her way into the den. Petalkit stood up from Reedshine’s nest and climbed back into her own, giving a shiver. 

“Good timing,” Petalkit grumbled. “Shykit woke me up by screaming.” 

“Again?” Reedshine asked, giving Shykit an exasperated look. Shykit raised her tail in pleasure, clearly not understanding much else besides her name. 

“Mama,” Applekit began crawling forwards, towards the edge of the nest. Reedshine hurried over, scruffing the kit and moving her away from the cold.

“Stay in the nest, little ones,” Reedshine mewed. “You’re too small to stay warm on your own.”

With some effort, she corralled the kits back towards her belly, curling around them with a purr. They nuzzled into her long fur, smelling for milk. 

“Speaking of the cold,” Reedshine mewed to Petalkit. “I had an idea. We could weave a curtain, to block the entrance.”

“Like Darkstar’s den?” Petalkit asked. 

“Yes, like hers!” Reedshine nodded. “I made that curtain for her moons ago, actually. I can’t believe I didn’t think of making one for the nursery sooner.”

“Maybe all the dens could use one,” Petalkit mused. “I heard Rainfall and Birdsong complaining about drafts in the Warriors’ den.”

“Now there’s an idea,” Reedshine nodded. “Eeltail is out on patrol this morning. I’ll talk to her about it when she gets back. We can work on them together!” 

“PETALKIIIIIIT!” came Shykit’s loud mew. 

“What are you doing outside the nursery?” Petalkit raised an eyebrow. She sat by the fresh-kill pile in the snow, organizing it. There wasn’t much to be done that day, so Petalkit took to picking up stray pieces of prey and getting the pile back into a manageable state. 

“Reedshine said I could go out! If I stayed with you,” Shykit beamed, bouncing on her paws a bit. “She said you could show me around the camp!”

Shykit, Willowkit, and Applekit were nearly a moon old now. All three were adept at walking and talking, and Shykit proved just as adventurous as Petalkit anticipated her being. The little dark ginger kit had been caught three times already trying to sneak out of the nursery, so Petalkit wasn’t surprised Reedshine finally cracked. 

“Lucky me,” Petalkit grunted. “Did Willowkit and Applekit come too?”

“Noooo,” Shykit mewed, sounding a bit evasive. “Just meeee! Applekit is too scaredy, and Willowkit didn’t want to leave her behind.” 

“Alright then,” Petalkit mewed, putting one last water vole back onto the pile. “Where should we start?” 

“Ahhhhhh, oohhhhhh…” Shykit looked around the camp. Her eyes rested on the nursery for a moment. The entrance to the den was blocked by a curtain, a new leaf-bare addition that Petalkit and Reedshine finished weaving recently. Currently, Reedshine was trying to teach her kits to weave, by making a curtain for the apprentice’s den. 

“Well?” Petalkit prompted impatiently.

“There!” Shykit decided suddenly, angling her stubby tail at the medicine den. “Let’s go there!”

“The medicine den? Seriously?” Petalkit fixed Shykit with a stare. Shykit just nodded enthusiastically.

“Yes yes yes!” She chirped.

“Okay,” Petalkit rolled her eyes. “But if Echosnout claws your ears off for disturbing her, that’s on you.” 

Petalkit led Shykit across camp towards the medicine den. It didn’t have a curtain just yet, but she knew it was on the list for Reedshine. The queen liked keeping her paws busy while she was in the nursery. 

“Echosnout?” Petalkit called.

“Announcing yourself in advance this time?” The old, grizzled medicine cat appeared from the back of the den where the herb stores lived. “That’s new.”

“That’s not all that’s new,” Petalkit mewed. “I-

“HI ECHOSNOUT!” Shykit bounced out from behind Petalkit, bombarding the medicine cat with a loud shout. 

“Great StarClan,” Echosnout grumbled. 

“Are you the medicine cat?” Shykit asked excitedly.

“No, I’m the leader,” Echosnout responded dryly. “Yes, of course I’m the medicine cat.”

“Ooooh,” Shykit tipped her head to one side. “Cuz I never really have seen you before! Petalkit always comes to get herbs from you but you never really visit the nursery. So I could only imagine what you looked like! Petalkit said you’re black and white. She was right! Petalkit is always right about everything. Hey, if you’re the medicine cat, why are you so old?”

Echosnout just blinked slowly, tiredly. Petalkit couldn’t help feeling a bit amused. 

“Petalkit asked me the same question,” Echosnout grumbled. “Well, just the last part. Not all the other things. What’s your name, kit?”

“Shykit!” the small dark ginger kit puffed up her chest proudly. “And my sisters are Willowkit and Applekit! Theyre still in the nursery though, making a-”

Shykit clamped her jaws shut suddenly, shooting a glance at Petalkit. Petalkit raised an eyebrow.

“Nevermind!” Shykit squeaked. “Show me the other dens, Petalkit!” 

Shykit turned around and bolted out of the den in a blur of dark ginger. Petalkit sighed deeply in response. 

“Now you know how I felt,” Echosnout mewed. “Better go after her before a heron carries her away.” 

Petalkit emerged from the medicine den. She blinked in surprise at the sight before her. When she entered the medicine den, the clearing was mostly deserted. Now, though, many RiverClan cats milled about in the camp, waiting underneath Darkstar’s usual perch. Petalkit spotted Shykit, bouncing right next to the small stream. She bolted over to her younger sister.

“Not so close to the water!” Petalkit hissed, and Shykit just giggled in response. “What are you so happy about?”

Shykit didn’t respond. She just wriggled free and bounded across the camp, towards the nursery. Reedshine slid out from behind the curtain, followed by Applekit and Willowkit. Both kits had some debris stuck to their fur, but before Petalkit could question it, Darkstar emerged from her den. The dark-furred leader strode confidently towards the tall rock, and leaped onto it with a single stride. She raised her head and let out a resounding yowl.

“Let all cats old enough to swim gather here for a clan meeting!” 

Chapter Text

Petalkit tipped her head back to look up at Darkstar’s position on the rock. The leader’s black pelt stood out starkly against the gloomy, overcast sky. Slowly, RiverClan cats emerged from the dens, joining the already growing crowd in the camp’s clearing. One by one they settled down, glancing at each other as if to question the reason for being summoned. 

“Cats of RiverClan,” Darkstar began. “Today is a very important day for one young cat.”

Petalkit suddenly realized what was happening.

Darkstar is going to make me an apprentice!

 She shuffled on her paws, looking from side to side, and wondering if she was in the right place.

“Stand still, for StarClan’s sake,” Echosnout hissed in her ear. The medicine cat must have crept up behind her, and now sat next to Petalkit as Darkstar addressed the clan. Instinctually the RiverClan cats left an open space around the rock, the old and sacred ceremony second nature to all of them. 

“Petalkit, step forward,” Darkstar instructed. Petalkit padded into the center of the clearing, feeling all the clans’ eyes on her. She stole a few looks around. Some cats, like Splashfoot, Milkfur, and Rainfall, seemed pleased. Others, like Perchpaw, Appledusk, and Birdsong, wore expressions of contempt. Petalkit felt a needle of anger, and regretted looking. She turned back to Darkstar quickly, swishing her tail. 

“This is an overdue ceremony, for the correct mentor has been unavailable to teach young Petalkit before now,” Darkstar continued. “Petalkit, RiverClan admires your patience.”

“I bet she liked getting to laze about in the nursery while the rest of us did all the real work,” Petalkit heard Birdsong grumble. 

Just ignore her! Petalkit told herself hotly. 

“Petalkit,” Darkstar mewed. “You have far surpassed six moons of age, and it is time for you to become an apprentice. From this moment on, you will be known as Petalpaw.”

Petalpaw couldn’t help it; she felt butterflies in her belly from hearing her new name. She puffed her chest out in pride, standing up as tall as she could. Darkstar swiveled her head, gazing across camp.

“Reedshine!” She called towards the nursery. Cats looked back in surprise, and then slowly began to part, so the dark ginger queen could amble through the crowd. Eeltail sat beside her, sweeping her long, striped tail around the kits to keep them from chasing after their mother. Reedshine padded over through the thin carpet of snow, finally settling beside Petalpaw.

“Reedshine, your kits have been weaned, and you are now capable of taking on an apprentice,” Darkstar nodded. “I trained you as best I could, and you are a clever, resilient cat. I trust you to pass your knowledge and insight onto young Petalpaw.” 

Reedshine and Petalpaw turned to face each other. Petalpaw stuck her muzzle out, but before she could touch noses with her mentor, a voice cried out from the crowd.

“A queen can’t be a mentor!” it was Perchpaw. “She’s going to neglect her kits! And she’s already keeping their father away from them, too!” 

Petalpaw whipped her head to glare at the dark tabby. Darkstar did the same, fixing her son with a harsh glare.

“Perchpaw, be quiet,” she mewed sternly. “This is a sacred ceremony.”

“Perchpaw’s right,” piped up the elder Sloefur. “Back in my day, queens watched their kits. It’s their job. What is RiverClan coming to?” 

Sloefur’s fellow elders, Blackbee and Icewhisker, nodded in agreement. Petalpaw swished her tail in anger, trying to will the dissenting cats into silence.

“You are free to… discuss… once the ceremony ends,” Darkstar retorted to the elder sharply. “Lest we upset StarClan with our heresy.” 

At the threat of StarClan’s wrath, Sloefur fell silent, though Petalpaw could still hear some cats grumbling. She did her best to block them out, turning back to Reedshine and touching noses with her. 

“Petalpaw! Petalpaw!”

Shouting the loudest were Echosnout and Eeltail, with Reedshine and Darkstar both joining in eventually. It wasn’t as joyous as Perchpaw’s ceremony, though; Some of the shouts sounded uncertain, and Petalpaw could hear murmurs of uncertainty underneath the cheers. 

Whatever, she thought bitterly. It doesn’t matter what any of them think anyways. 

“Congratulations,” Darkstar mewed, hopping down from the rock. Her words were filled with a warmth the serious leader seldom showed. “I wish you two the best of luck on this journey.”

Darkstar bent forward and rested her muzzle on Petalpaw’s head, before turning and making her way back to her den through the dispersing crowd. Amidst the members of RiverClan returning to their duties, one cat did not move. The broad, dark tabby form of Perchpaw stood across the clearing, his glare flitting between Petalpaw and Darkstar. Petalpaw felt a savage stab of satisfaction at the clear jealousy in his eyes.

Serves him right! 

“PETALKIT!!!! Oops, I mean PETALPAW!!!!” Shykit bounced up to Petalpaw, wriggling in place where she stood. “Me, Applekit, and Willowkit have something to show you!!”

Petalpaw raised an eyebrow, but allowed her little sister to lead her towards the nursery, where Reedshine had already returned to Applekit and Willowkit. Applekit sat low to the ground, nervously pressing herself against her gray littermate. Eeltail departed the nursery for a quick bite from the fresh-kill pile, nodding to Reedshine as she left.

“The kits have been working on it all morning,” Reedshine purred. 

“Except me!” Shykit mewed. “It was my job to distract you!! Did I do a good job?”

“Yeah, sure,” Petalpaw flicked her tail over Shykit’s ear. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.” 

Shykit made a pouty face at Petalpaw, before quickly brightening again, zipping past Reedshine and her other sisters into the nursery, nearly bowling little Applekit over. 

“Shykit, careful!” Reedshine scolded gently, before pulling back the curtain and beckoning Petalpaw inside. The light brown apprentice ducked her head, padding into the dark den. At her paws was… a matted, lopsided, loosely-woven nest. 

“Um,” Petalpaw asked. “What is it?” 

“It’s your nest for the apprentice den!” Shykit mewed proudly. Willowkit and Applekit toddled over next to her, the three of them blinking expectantly at Petalpaw. 

“Looks a bit familiar, doesn’t it?” Reedshine wrinkled her nose in amusement. Petalpaw whisked her tail, feeling a bit embarrassed.

“I guess any kit of yours needs to know how to weave a good nest,” Petalpaw retorted. 

“Lets bring it to the apprentice’s den!” Shykit bounced. 

“Can we go in there?” Willowkit’s eyes went wide.

“I don’t want to leave the nursery again!” Applekit mewed. “It’s too scary!” 

“Ok, I’ll take it then!” Shykit didn’t wait for any cat to give her permission. She grabbed the shabby nest with her tiny teeth, and began dragging it out of the nursery. Petalpaw was surprised that it mostly held together. Reedshine nudged Petalpaw lightly.

“Do you like it?” she asked. Petalpaw blinked, as Reedshine flicked her eyes back towards Applekit and Willowkit. They were still watching her.

“Oh!” Petalpaw mewed. “Um, yes, it’s wonderful. Thank you, kits.” 

“Hooray!” Willowkit cheered. 

“It’s not as good as Reedshine’s nest…” Applekit mumbled. “The one Petalpaw made for her…”

“Reedshine wove most of it,” Petalpaw assured her awkwardly. “It looked a bit like the one you and Willowkit made before she fixed my lousy weaving.” 

“You think our weaving is lousy?” Applekit wailed.

“No, no! I-” Petalpaw’s pelt prickled anxiously. 

“Hush, Applekit,” Reedshine wrapped her bushy tail around the tiny kit. “You did a great job!” 

“HEY!” 

A loud shout from outside the den stopped all four cats in their tracks. Perchpaw, of all cats, stuck his wide head into the nursery entrance. 

“One of your puny little minnows is in the apprentice’s den!” He spat angrily, glaring at Petalpaw in particular. She pulled back her teeth in a snarl. 

“Afraid she’s going to knock over your dumb rock pile?” Petalpaw snapped.

Perchpaw opened his mouth to retort and Reedshine sighed, interrupting the two apprentices before they could launch into a full-blown quarrel.

“I’m sorry, Perchpaw,” she mewed. “Shykit’s a little overeager. I’ll come get her.”

Reedshine nudged Petalpaw again.

“Come on, Petalpaw,” she purred. “Let’s get a look at your new den!” 

It occurred to Petalpaw she’d never actually been inside the apprentice’s den before. None of the apprentices of RiverClan so far were very nice to her, so she steered clear of it. Today, however, Reedshine led her through the light dusting of snow on the ground, sharp cold pricking her paws where particularly thick patches lay. The warriors cleared out as much snow as they could each morning, but in the brief time spent in the nursery, the gray sky had opened up once more. Petalpaw and Reedshine followed a trail through the ground, left behind by Shykit dragging the nest to the apprentice’s den. 

“-And stay out!” Perchpaw growled. The large tabby apprentice stood in the entrance to the nursery, roughly shoving Shykit forward. The little dark ginger kit scrambled forward as fast as she could, but she was still a bit clumsy on her paws, and couldn’t keep up with the pace Perchpaw shoved her at. Petalpaw flattened her ears, rushing forward towards Perchpaw and Shykit.

“Stop shoving her, you frog-brain!” Petalpaw snapped, shouldering into Perchpaw to knock him away from Shykit. He stumbled a bit, eyes wide with surprise, before glaring at Petalpaw.

“She shouldn’t be in the apprentice’s den!” he shot back. “You sent her here, didn’t you?”

Petalpaw rolled her eyes. 

“Stop overreacting, Perchpaw,” she mewed. “Shykit was just bringing the nest she made for me.”

“Oh, that was a nest?” Perchpaw snorted. “It looked like a wad of hairballs to me.”

Petalpaw noticed Shykit. The little kit was uncharacteristically silent, her pelt bushed out in fear and her eyes wide. 

“Oh, Shykit!” Reedshine finally caught up. “Are you okay? Were you bothering Perchpaw?”

“N-no!” Shykit’s voice wobbled. “I was just looking around!” 

“She was messing everything up!” Perchpaw growled. “It’s lucky I got her out before she knocked down all the shells in the wall.” 

“Shykit,” Reedshine mewed to the little kit. She kept her voice gentle, clearly not wanting to frighten Shykit more than she already was. “You did a good job bringing Petalpaw’s nest over. But you shouldn’t have stayed in the apprentice’s den longer than you needed to, okay?” 

Eyes wide, Shykit nodded, buring her face into her mother’s pelt. Reedshine bent down and murmured something into her ear, before giving her daughter a few comforting licks.

“I’m sorry, Perchpaw,” Reedshine dipped her head to him. “I’ll keep a closer eye on Shykit.”

“You better!” Perchpaw snapped. Petalpaw felt her hackles rising at his hostility. 

He has no right to talk to a senior warrior like that! 

“Petalpaw, go in and make yourself comfortable,” Reedshine mewed. “I’m going to get the kits settled with Eeltail, and then we can go for training!” 

Petalpaw felt a spark of excitement, and quickly shoved past Perchpaw into the apprentices’ den. It was cozy inside; not as big as the nursery, with a much lower roof. It wasn’t quite so stuffy, either; the walls were thinner, since there were no newborn kits to keep warm here. Currently, only two nests sat in the dark space. The messy, disaster of a nest that Petalpaw’s younger sisters wove her, and another, only marginally more well-woven nest. Petalpaw wrinkled her nose.

It’s like Perchpaw made it himself!

She paused, giving the thought more consideration.

Well, it’s not like Darkstar or Appledusk seem like the nest-weaving type…

Petalpaw walked over to his nest, sniffing it. Unsurprisingly, Perchpaw’s scent was the only she could detect on it, with a few traces of Shykit. 

“Hey!” Perchpaw suddenly materialized next to her. She didn’t even hear him enter the den. “That’s my nest, in case you couldn’t tell.”

“No, I couldn’t,” Petalpaw bit back. Perchpaw lashed his fluffy tail, but Petalpaw ignored him, getting a better look around the den as her eyes adjusted. The walls were almost entirely covered in shells of varying sizes and shapes; woven into the reeds. Some looked new, while others were old and dull, the reeds holding them in place growing frail and thin. 

“They’re woven in by all the apprentices who came before us, ever since the great Riverstar founded our clan. It’s part of our training, to dive and collect a shell, to show we’ve mastered the water,” Perchpaw explained, following her gaze. Then, his tone turned smug. “I suspect you won’t be adding one, drypaw.” 

Red-hot anger flared in Petalpaw’s belly, and she thought of the Apple Snail shell Reedshine found in the river, what felt like an eternity ago. 

“My shell is gonna be better than any of the stupid shells on this wall,” Petalpaw snapped. “Have you added one yet? Or are you still stuck on rocks, like a toddling little kit?”

It was Perchpaw’s turn to seethe. He pulled back his lips, baring his teeth angrily.

“I don’t collect rocks anymore!” He snapped defensively. “And my shell is already up there, because I’m a real RiverClan cat, unlike you!” 

He turned and stomped out of the den, making sure to whip Petalpaw in the face with his tail as he went. Petalpaw gave a half-hearted hiss as he went, then turned back to sniffing around the den. There really wasn’t much in it; just the nests, and, sure enough, Perchpaw’s rock pile was nowhere to be found.

She frowned. The sunrise after his ceremony, Perchpaw spent all day moving the rocks from the nursery to the apprentices’ den. She remembered, because he woke her up about seven times doing it. He’d even refused help from Troutclaw, insistent he do it all himself, so nobody messed up the special arrangement he had. Surely he didn’t part with it, especially after how much he refused to shut up about it?

Petalpaw nosed out of the den, and circled around it a few times. She cast a gaze across camp, but Perchpaw’s rock pile could have vanished into thin air. When she retreated to the den, though, she noticed an odd lump in Perchpaw’s nest. The reeds were so poorly woven and the moss so messy she could’ve easily missed it, but when she nosed the moss to the side, she found a single rock; the one Perchpaw found at The Shallows and said was “really cool”, when the two of them were kits.

“Petalpaw!” 

Petalpaw jerked away from Perchpaw’s nest, embarrassed that a cat may have seen her. Luckily, though, it was just Reedshine, poking her head into the den.

“You ready for our first day of training?” Reedshine beamed. Petalpaw shifted on her paws, hastily shuffling away from Perchpaw’s nest. She merely nodded, following her mentor out of the den.

Reedshine led Petalpaw through the snowy camp, towards the entrance. For the first time in moons, Petalpaw stepped out of RiverClan’s camp, and into the harsh leafbare chill. The breeze carried the sharp scent of frost, but underneath was the now-familiar fishy tang of RiverClan. The path leading to and from camp had many sets of pawprints pressed into the snow, some starting to fill in from the newly fallen flakes.

“Our first item of training is a tour of the territory,” Reedshine mewed, settling into a trot. Petalpaw padded alongside her, keeping up much easier than all the times before, when she’d followed Reedshine to The Shallows as a kit. She had to occasionally shake out her short pelt, to dislodge snowflakes from it.

“That doesn’t really sound like training,” Petalpaw noted.

“You can’t do much if you don’t know where you are,” Reedshine replied back. 

“I’ve been to the river!” Petalpaw protested.

“There’s more to our territory than the river!” Reedshine purred in amusement. The two cats came upon a fork in the well-worn path. Normally, when heading to The Shallows, they would turn left. However, this time, Reedshine went right. Petalpaw followed after her, and soon the reeds grew thicker, shielding them from the dust of snowflakes. Petalpaw parted her jaws and scented prey; a water vole. It smelled fresher than usual, though. Petalpaw’s interest must have shown on her face, because Reedshine gave another amused purr.

“You’ll find prey smells much warmer when it’s still alive,” she mewed. “No hunting yet, though. We’re almost to the Beech Copse!”

As she spoke, Reedshine and Petalpaw crested a small hill, looking down into a hollow. The edges of the hollow were lined with beech trees that towered overhead, their bare, pale branches reaching out and entangling together.

“Looks like Perchpaw and Appledusk haven’t been here yet today,” Reedshine mewed, looking down into the dip in the earth. A shallow layer of snow lay over the ground, with great drifts of it piled up against the gently sloping walls of the hollow. Petalpaw guessed that the snow would be cleared down to the ground if any apprentices were training here. 

“This is the Beech Copse,” Reedshine explained. “During greenleaf, the leaves of the beech trees provide excellent cover from the sun, and it’s a short walk from the river. I suspect you’ll get a very good view of it tomorrow, when we start our actual training.” 

“While I’m shoving all the snow out of it, you mean?” Petalpaw asked wryly.

“Yes, precisely,” Reedshine flicked her tail over Petalpaw’s back. “Come along now, the territory is large, and I’d like to see all of it before the day’s end.” 

Reedshine led Petalpaw away from the Beech Copse, and slowly the soft, damp soil grew rockier and the ground sloped upwards. Reedshine navigated the narrowing path with the expertise of a seasoned RiverClan warrior, but Petalpaw found herself occasionally stumbling on jagged rocks sticking out of the ground. Soon enough, the soil disappeared almost entirely, and the two cats were walking along the edge of a craggy, rocky gorge. Across the gash in the ground, gently rolling hills blanketed in snow extended as far as the eye could see. Cold, crisp wind whipped through her whiskers, and Petalpaw crept forward a few tail-lengths, lowering her belly to the ground. She peered over the edge, her stomach dropping as she gazed down into the gorge. The river thundered over the side of the gorge, crashing down fox-lengths below, rushing through the jagged rocks in a foaming, whirling mass. The waterfall sent up a fine mist of cold river droplets. A few of the droplets landed on Petalpaw’s nose and she scrambled backwards, her heart pounding against her ribcage, her whole body trembling.

“Petalpaw!” Reedshine was at her side in an instant. “Are you okay?” 

“Where are we?” Petalpaw asked, trying to regain her breath.

“This is the gorge,” Reedshine mewed. “I should have warned you. Be very careful here, for even the most experienced warriors can’t survive a fall from this height. Across is the moorland, WindClan’s territory.” 

Feeling her stomach tighten even more, Petalpaw nodded. She clenched her eyes shut, willing the earth to stop moving beneath her paws.

“We don’t need to spend long here,” Reedshine nudged Petalpaw gently with her nose. “We continue downhill, until the gorge flattens back into the river.” 

Still, Petalpaw kept her face buried in her paws. The upside of spending so much time in camp was that she didn’t have to go near the river so often in the past moons. The downside?

“Stupid, stupid brain!” Petalpaw moaned. She still wasn’t over her thing with water, it seemed. She’d almost forgotten about it. The roar of the waterfall made her feel queasy.

“Come on, Petalpaw,” Reedshine nudged her again, worry sounding in her mew. “Let’s continue on, to somewhere less precarious.” 

Continuing wasn’t easy. The path was narrow, and slippery with water and frost. Petalpaw felt sick to her stomach, and she didn’t unclench her jaw until the downwards path began to flatten out, and the ground beneath her paws turned back to pebbles and soil. Reedshine led her away from the river’s edge, and back into the foliage. The thick reeds blocked the sound of the river flowing by, and Petalpaw’s mind finally began to ease.

“Are you okay?” Reedshine asked again. 

“Mmmphh,” Petalpaw groaned. Her belly was beginning to loosen up, and she didn’t feel so shaky. But the spray from the gorge soaked her belly fur, and she felt thoroughly miserable as the leafbare chill began to eat through her pelt. 

“Do you want to go back to camp?” Reedshine asked. Petalpaw shook her head. 

“No,” she grunted. “Just… just give me a minute.” 

Petalpaw continued hunching over, her breaths coming uneven and rattly. Slowly, though, she felt her heart return to normal, her muscles unwind. Taking a deep breath, she raised herself up off the ground, tipping her head upwards to let the cold air flow over her whiskers again.

“Feel any better?” Reedshine asked. The dark ginger queen sat only a pace or two away, her plumy tail wrapped over her paws. The worry was evident in her eyes as she gazed at Petalpaw, who felt embarrassment prickle hotly under her pelt.

“Yeah,” Petalpaw muttered. “That was stupid.” 

“It’s alright,” Reedshine purred. “We’re going to work on it, remember?”

“I can’t imagine it ever being better than that,” Petalpaw replied grimly. 

“Well, the last time you got wet from the river you tried to swim back to ThunderClan and almost drowned,” Reedshine pointed out. “This seems a little better.”

“Hm,” Petalpaw stopped to consider Reedshine’s point. “I guess you’re right.”

The two cats sat in silence for a while, allowing Petalpaw to fully recover. Once she finally felt steady on her paws again, the apprentice stood up, shaking the droplets from her pelt. 

“Ready to get moving again?” Reedshine asked.

“Yeah,” Petalpaw mewed. “Let’s not waste any more daylight.” 

Chapter Text

Frost prickled on Petalpaw’s pads as she followed her mentor into the mighty gathering hollow. A quarter-moon had passed since her apprentice ceremony; the time was overall uneventful, despite how often Perchpaw tried to goad her into arguing with him. She’d managed to hold her tongue, and as a result Darkstar selected her to follow her clanmates to the gathering at Fourtrees. The leader insisted Petalpaw be present when she was announced as a new apprentice to the rest of the clans. Petalpaw didn’t know if she considered this a reward, though; it was dreadfully cold, and the last thing she wanted was to huddle in a corner, trying to keep warm until the leaders stopped arguing. 

She also was a bit nervous at the idea of seeing ThunderClan cats again.

What if Frecklewish is there? Or Oakstar?

The gathering party crested a hill, pausing in the dense undergrowth while Darkstar observed the hollow below. Petalpaw, near the back of the group, could already smell the scents of different clans mingled together. 

When Petalpaw caught a hint of ThunderClan’s musky, earthy scent, she paused. Surprise flooded her veins at how utterly alien it smelled, despite it being of the clan she was born into. Though, it still carried a hint of nostalgia, threatening to well up in Petalpaw’s chest and overwhelm her.

“RiverClan!” Darkstar called. “Into the hollow!”

The sleek, glossy RiverClan cats flowed over the crest of the hill and streamed out into the already gathering crowd at Fourtrees. At the base of the hill, Petalpaw slowed, to take in the space around her. The great oaks were enormous, each one’s trunk at least two fox-lengths wide. Petalpaw tipped her head back, gazing upwards at the oak branches, arching up and tangling together so far overhead she was surprised they did not encircle the stars of Silverpelt. Through the bare branches were speckles of starlight, and silver shafts cast by the full moon. Not a single wisp of cloud marred the sky, leaving it clear for the cats to gather.

“What do you think?” Reedshine asked, nudging Petalpaw. “Pretty big trees, right?”

“Yeah,” Petalpaw breathed in awe. Her eyes then fell on the Great Rock, where Darkstar leapt up to join one other cat. Petalpaw froze when she saw dark brown tabby fur, expecting Oakstar. But when she looked closer she realized this leader had a long, slender body, with spots reminiscent of an adder’s. 

“Looks like Snakestar wants to get the gathering started,” Reedshine mewed, following Petalpaw’s gaze. “I can smell ThunderClan, though I don’t see Oakstar anywhere.” 

Petalpaw shifted on her paws uncomfortably. She looked around, spotting a group of apprentices not far away. They carried the scent of ThunderClan. Petalpaw was considering just staying put when a mottled ginger tabby from the group caught her eye. Immediately, his expression lit up.

“Holy StarClan!” he exclaimed, bounding over from the gathered apprentices. Several of them stared after him, confused. He stopped in front of Petalpaw, and began sniffing her closely. “It can’t be… I mean, is it really you?”

The tom’s bright blue eyes glittered with starlight. Petalpaw took a step backward, while Reedshine purred with amusement.

“You have fun meeting some cats, alright?” she mewed gently. “I’m going to go catch up with the other queens.” 

Reedshine padded away before Petalpaw could object, and she turned back to the ginger apprentice. He smelled of ThunderClan, and she had to admit, his bulky frame and shaggy orange fur felt… familiar.

“Er, do I know you?” Petalpaw asked. The ThunderClan tom blinked in surprise.

“Oh. Are you… Are you not Petalkit, then?” He asked, looking a bit embarrassed. Petalpaw flattened her ears.

“How do you know my name?” She asked. “But, uh, yeah, it’s Petal paw now.” 

To Petalpaw’s surprise, the ThunderClan tom’s eyes gleamed with emotion and a loud purr rose in his throat. 

“How are you here? I mean- the river, Frecklewish said-” he stammered.

“I’m sorry,” Petalpaw interrupted sharply. “Who are you?”

The tom stopped, suddenly appearing sheepish. 

“I’m Nettlepaw!” he mewed. “I… I guess you don’t remember me, then?”

Petalpaw squinted at him. Again, the feeling of familiarity dogged her, the shape of his muzzle, his shaggy fur, it all felt as though she’d seen it before. 

“I feel like I do,” Petalpaw replied.

“Mapleshade was my older sister,” Nettlepaw mewed. “I used to visit you in the nursery every morning before my apprentice training!”

Petalpaw’s eyes widened. She conjured in her mind a dim, fuzzy memory of the bright ginger tom bringing her, Patchkit, and Larchkit fresh-kill and colorful feathers for their nest. 

“I think I remember you,” Petalpaw mewed. “Barely, though.” 

Nettlepaw’s tail curled up in delight, his eyes gleaming.

“Oh, this is so wonderful!” He mewed. “I was so devastated when I lost you, and your brothers, and Mapleshade…I just have to tell the others- Squirrelwhisker! Squirrelwhisker, come here!”

He turned back to his group of apprentices and called out. A dark, dark brown tabby with striking amber eyes poked her head out of the throng, blinking at him. She squeezed away from the group, trotting over to Nettlepaw and Petalpaw. She was the largest of the group of apprentices, and Petalpaw guessed she must have only gotten her name recently. 

“Who’s this?” she asked, peering at Petalpaw. She paused, then continued before Petalpaw could respond.  “Wait, hold on. You look familiar.”

“It’s Petalkit!” Nettlepaw mewed. Petalpaw flicked her tail, a bit annoyed that he answered for her. He caught her glance and corrected himself. “Well, Petalpaw now.”

“ Mapleshade’s kit?!” Squirrelwhisker’s eyes widened. “Where have you been ?”

“RiverClan, by the smell of it,” a calm, measured voice sounded behind Squirrelwhisker. A light brown she-cat with a cream-colored ruff stepped up beside her, peering at Petalpaw curiously. She had a lithe, slender frame and long, elegant legs. 

“This is Doepaw,” a frizzy, long-haired pale-gray she-cat following behind her added, nodding to her companion. “I’m Mistpaw!”

“Hi,” Petalpaw mewed, a bit awkwardly. She struggled to think of something to say in response, when the bracken surrounding Fourtrees rustled. At the top of the hill, a stream of cats came over the crest, pouring down into the hollow. Squirrelwhisker saw the cats as well, and her expression lit up, her amber eyes searching the throng for something. 

“Looking for somebody?” Mistpaw asked. 

“Of course I am!” Squirrelwhisker mewed back. “I’ve got really important news for all of you!” 

Petalpaw watched as Doepaw and Nettlepaw exchanged a look. 

“I see him!” Squirrelwhisker bounced. “I’ll bring him over here, you all need to hear this too!” 

She shot off towards the group of WindClan cats, not bothering to explain further. Petalpaw watched her disappear into the group of scrawny, rabbit-fed moor cats. She didn’t know any WindClan cats; the only one she’d heard of was their medicine cat, Larkwing, who supposedly was very old and frail.  

“Are there any other RiverClan apprentices here?” Doepaw leaned forward, inquiring to Petalpaw. Petalpaw studied the ThunderClan apprentice; her question was innocent enough, but she worried about sharing too much information with her former Clan. Appledusk already thought she was a traitor; she didn’t want to make that any worse.

“Er, not tonight,” Petalpaw said carefully. “Too much work to be done back in camp.”

Doepaw squinted at her for a moment, before shrugging.

“Hardworking apprentices are the sign of a strong Clan,” she mewed evenly. Mistpaw shouldered against her playfully.

“Don’t mind Doepaw,” she mewed back. “She never takes a day off!” 

“Our enemies don’t,” Doepaw murmured, flashing a wary look at Petalpaw. Petalpaw felt her fur prickle apprehensively. Was Doepaw threatening her? 

“C’mon, Doepaw,” Nettlepaw interjected. “Petalpaw’s a friend. She used to be one of us!” 

Used to be.

Strangely enough, Petalpaw found that she felt no longing. Moons ago, had she known there were cats still friendly to her in ThunderClan, maybe she would’ve considered going back. But, now that she had Reedshine, and Reedshine’s kits…

“I’m a loyal RiverClan cat,” Petalpaw said curtly. “I have kin there. And friends.” 

Nettlepaw looked a bit crestfallen. Petalpaw realized, if Mapleshade was his older sister, than they were kin as well. Did he think she was rejecting him? Petalpaw shook her head.

If he does, that’s his problem!

“RiverClan are lucky to have you, then,” the unexpected compliment came from Doepaw. “You will serve them well.” 

Petalpaw wasn’t sure how to feel. 

“Ok, cats, he’s heeere!” Squirrelwhisker barged her way back into the conversation, bringing along a scrawny, small WindClan tom with her. He was mostly pale gray, with a stark white head. He approached cautiously, glancing around with wide eyes.

“Don’t worry,” Squirrelwhisker purred. “Frecklewish isn’t here.”

Petalpaw felt a jolt at the golden tabby’s name. Part of her was glad the warrior was absent; Frecklewish hadn’t exactly been kind the last time Petalpaw saw her. Looking around, Petalpaw noticed some uncomfortable glances between the ThunderClan apprentices. Were they remembering the scene caused by Mapleshade’s exile?

“Okay, so what’s this big news you wanted to tell us?” Mistpaw mewed, getting the conversation back on track. “You’ve been mentioning it all day!”

“I think we haven’t got much time left either,” Doepaw mewed, raising her head to observe the leaders. “Milkstar likes to chat with elders from other clans before the gathering, but I suspect he won’t linger long.”

Squirrelwhisker was almost bouncing on her paws, glancing side to side excitedly.

“Alright, alright!” she mewed. She looked around one last time, before lowering her voice and leaning in a bit. “I’m expecting kits!”

The group went silent. 

“ What?” Nettlepaw blurted out. “Squirrelwhisker, you just got your warrior name yesterday!” 

“So?” Squirrelwhisker rolled her eyes. “I’m a warrior now, aren’t I? So does it really matter?” 

“It is… unorthodox,” Doepaw mewed carefully. “But you wanted this, no?”

Squirrelwhisker nodded enthusiastically. Then, she leaned against the gray WindClan tom, who looked nervous, but happy. Petalpaw studied the two of them closely; both cats were purring deeply.

“I’m assuming Eagle…paw? Is the father, then?” Mistpaw asked, glancing at the gray tom. 

“Eagle storm, now,” he replied. “I got my name about a moon ago. But, um… well.. yes! I’ll admit, I was a bit surprised when Squirrelwhisker first told me…We both wanted it, but I wasn’t… well, we didn’t think it could happen until we were warriors. But we both wanted this, so I’m really excited!” 

He suddenly noticed Petalpaw standing in the group.

“Um, who is she?” he asked, his tone shifting back to nervous.

“That’s Petalpaw, of RiverClan,” Squirrelwhisker mewed. “She won’t judge us. Her parents are from different clans!” 

Petalpaw suppressed an eye roll. And look how that turned out for me!

Still, though, Squirrelwhisker and Eaglestorm looked really happy, so she decided to hold her tongue. She couldn’t suppress a bit of worry for them, though. Oakstar wasn’t exactly kind about this sort of thing. Would he send Squirrelwhisker away if he found out, just like he did to Mapleshade?

“Well, congratulations,” Doepaw nodded to her friend. Petalpaw noticed an air of awkwardness to the young she-cat; clearly she had mixed feelings about this development as well. Her desire to support her friend seemed to win out, though. “Your kits are sure to be wonderful, if unconventional.” 

“Cats of all clans!”

The familiar mew of Darkstar summoned the group of apprentices from their conversation. They turned away from each other and towards the Great Rock, where two more cats had joined Darkstar and Snakestar. One was a bright white tom who must be Milkstar of WindClan, but to Petalpaw’s surprise, the fourth cat on the rock wasn’t Oakstar; it was a skinny, scraggly-looking brown tabby tom, with dark stripes like a bee’s. He sat a little ways away from the other leaders, looking nervous, as if he weren’t meant to be there.

Another brown tabby tom? Petalpaw thought. Why are so many leaders brown tabby toms?

“Welcome to the full-moon gathering,” Darkstar greeted the cats below. “RiverClan sends its regards to the other Clans.” 

There were friendly murmurs from WindClan and ShadowClan cats, but Petalpaw noticed the ThunderClan cats stayed pretty silent in response to Darkstar’s extended paw of diplomacy. 

“This moon, we welcome a new apprentice,” Darkstar continued. Petalpaw felt a spike of unease in anticipation of her name being announced. “Petalpaw has begun her training, with Reedshine as her mentor!” 

“Petalpaw! Petalpaw!” Again, welcoming yowls sounded from WindClan and Shadowclan. Petalpaw noticed that the apprentices she’d been speaking with were the only ThunderClan cats who cheered for her. Some of the ThunderClan cats surrounding them shot suspicious glances at her.

Do they recognise me? Petalpaw thought nervously. 

“Reedshine’s kits, born last moon, are weaned and growing healthy as well, with Eeltail watching over them while Reedshine trains her new apprentice. Prey swims well for RiverClan despite the cold weather, and we flourish, stronger than ever.” 

There were some more congratulatory mews for Reedshine, before Darkstar stepped back, nodding to Milkstar, who stepped forward.

“Thank you, Darkstar,” he nodded. “Windclan stays strong and fierce as well. We have two new apprentices; Flailpaw, a tunneler, and Whitepaw, a moor-runner!” 

Milkstar looked down into the crowd, towards where the apprentices must be standing, hidden from Petalpaw’s view behind the throng of gathered cats.

“Flailpaw! Whitepaw! Flailpaw! Whitepaw!” 

Petalpaw joined in calling out the new apprentices’ names, feeling relieved she wasn’t the only one this gathering. 

“You were a tunneler, right?” Mistpaw whispered, leaning over to Eaglestorm. The wiry tom nodded.

“Yes, it’s a very coveted position!” he mewed back quietly. Petalpaw could see excitement sparking in his eyes, the passion for his work evident. He opened his mouth, about to continue, when-

“Shush!” Doepaw interrupted the two. “The leaders are talking.”

Mistpaw rolled her eyes affectionately, falling silent. 

“WindClan wishes the other Clans well,” Milkstar was concluding his spiel. “So that we all make it through Leaf-bare and to the new growth.” 

He nodded to Snakestar, stepping backwards. The ShadowClan leader glanced towards the ThunderClan leader, who merely shuffled his paws awkwardly. Snakestar shrugged, and began sharing his own news.

“A bit unusual for ThunderClan to share last, eh?” Petalpaw was surprised the ShadowClan leader opened with a joke, considering how much talk there was among kits and apprentices of the ferocity of ShadowClan cats. Mrrows of laughter from the crowd told her this must not be an unusual occurrence, though. “ShadowClan finds ample hunting even in the deepest Leaf-bare!”

“I thought frogs didn’t come out during Leaf-bare,” Darkstar replied wryly. The glint of humor in the RiverClan leader’s eye took Petalpaw aback; she didn’t know Darkstar as one to make jokes. 

“Ah, but you forget, Darkstar,” Milkstar added, “ShadowClan has plenty of twoleg rubbish to feast on, even in the cold season!”

Again, the leaders’ banter was met with chuckles from the crowd.

“Okay, okay,” Snakestar mewed, doing his best not to purr. “Back to business, shall we?”

Petalpaw noticed that, again, the ThunderClan leader hadn’t joined in, only shuffling his paws nervously and watching the other leaders.

“ShadowClan welcomes a new apprentice this moon, Redpaw!” Snakestar announced proudly. Petalpaw looked around for him, eventually spotting another group of apprentices, who must be from ShadowClan and WindClan. He stood tall, puffing out his chest with pride as his name rang around the hollow.

“Redpaw! Redpaw!”

All four clans cheered for the new apprentice. It seemed the main animosity tonight was between RiverClan and ThunderClan.

“ShadowClan has no more news to share this gathering,” Snakestar concluded, dipping his narrow head and stepping backwards. “We wish the other clans good hunting into Newleaf.”

Finally, it was time for ThunderClan to speak. The skinny tom stepped forward, his voice trembling as he called out.

“G-greetings!” He mewed. “I am Beetail, deputy of ThunderClan. I fill in for Oakstar tonight because he is ill with a mild case of whitecough.”

Petalpaw noticed he emphasized Oakstar’s condition as mild. If it were so mild, why wasn’t he here? She noticed the ThunderClan apprentices sharing uneasy looks.

“Sadly, Thunderclan does not carry good news tonight,” Beetail continued, dipping his head. “Frecklewish has made her journey to StarClan.”

Petalpaw froze, feeling guilt for her earlier relief at Frecklewish’s absence. True, Frecklewish was cruel to her for her heritage. 

But dead ?

Petalpaw could not make herself feel anything but sorrow. Frecklewish had been like a second mother to her for the first moons of her life. Petalpaw’s memories of the ThunderClan nursery may be growing dimmer, but she would never forget that. Losing her was almost as devastating as losing Mapleshade, or even Reedshine.

The cats in the clearing all lowered their heads, allowing a moment of silence for the fallen warrior. 

“That is truly a shame,” Milkstar mewed sadly. “Frecklewish was a brave, strong warrior, far too young to die. WindClan sends our condolences to ThunderClan for your loss.” 

Beetail just nodded awkwardly, as Darkstar and Snakestar both dipped their heads respectfully, mirroring WindClan’s sentiment. The ThunderClan apprentices sitting with Petalpaw exchanged dark glances, as Beetail continued. 

“Frecklewish did not die naturally,” Beetail continued, steeling his mew. He raised his head defiantly, the most confidence he’d shown all night. However, his voice still trembled, despite his best efforts. “She was murdered.” 

Gasps and murmurs erupted from the crowd, cats glancing at each other uneasily. Again, the ThunderClan apprentices had dark, unreadable expressions.

“A RiverClan rogue,” Beetail spat, clearly trying to summon all the venom in his body. “Ambushed her and killed her in cold blood.”

Outrage roared in the crowd almost immediately.

“Lies!” yowled Birdsong, lashing her tail. Next to her, Tanglewhisker and Rainfall nodded fiercely in agreement.

“We’d never!” Eeltail gasped from a group of queens.

“It’s not true!” Reedshine insisted. 

The gathering hollow was in chaos, cats yowling accusations and arguments as loud as their voices would allow. Petalpaw saw Beetail opening and closing his mouth a few times, unable to quell the furious crowd.

“QUIET!” It was Darkstar’s commanding yowl that brought silence to the crowd of cats. Even from below, on the ground, Petalpaw could see the leader trembling with barely-concealed rage. She turned to the ThunderClan deputy, who almost cowed under her furious blue gaze. When she spoke, her voice was dangerously even.

“Beetail. Explain yourself.”

Beetail drew himself up as tall as he could, looking down at the stout RiverClan leader. 

“There’s n-nothing to explain, Darkstar,” he replied. “You sent one of your warriors to kill Frecklewish, the daughter of our leader. Your intentions could not be any clearer. You want war!”

Again, yowls of fury came from RiverClan cats in the crowd. Instinctively, Petalpaw felt herself join in, her hackles rising as she snarled. She knew, deep in her bones, Darkstar would never do something so fox-hearted. 

“We gave you our medicine cat apprentice after you lost Ravenwing!” Darkstar mewed. “My clan does not want war with yours!” 

Beetail simply looked away, not responding.

“Now, Beetail, are you sure it was a RiverClan warrior?” Snakestar asked. He exchanged a concerned look with Milkstar, whose gaze was also dubious. “It seems… unusual, for Darkstar to command such an action.” 

“I won’t discuss it any further!” Beetail mewed sharply, still facing away from the other leaders. “Darkstar, if we catch any more of your cats on our soil, they’ll be shredded to ribbons!”

With that, Beetail leapt down from the Great Rock and strode through the crowd. Petalpaw noticed that, unsurprisingly, Cloudpaw was not present either, and Beetail walked alone, the sole leadership representing ThunderClan. As he passed by his clanmates in the crowd, many of them exchanged confused glances, before following after him. 

“Er,” Snakestar mewed. “I believe this gathering is dismissed.” 

The ThunderClan apprentices all looked slightly embarrassed about their acting leader not following the correct protocol for a gathering. Slowly, they peeled away, leaving Petalpaw standing alone with Eaglestorm, who touched noses with Squirrelwhisker as she left. Nettlepaw blinked apologetically to Petalpaw, before turning to follow the rest of his clan out of the hollow. 

“Petalpaw? Petalpaw?” Reedshine’s mew filtered through the gradually rising clamor of cats breaking into discussion. Petalpaw spotted her dark ginger pelt weaving through some WindClan warriors, and she broke through them to bound up to her apprentice.

“Petalpaw, are you alright?” she mewed, sniffing her anxiously. She eyed Eaglestorm with suspicion, but seemed to relax when she recognized his scent as WindClan, not ThunderClan.

“You should get back to your clan,” Reedshine mewed to him, firmly but not unkindly. He dipped his head respectfully, sliding off towards the gathering group of WindClan cats. 

“Darkstar wants to head back to camp immediately,” Reedshine whispered urgently to Petalpaw. Without waiting for a response, she began nudging the dazed apprentice forward, until the two of them were back with the rest of RiverClan. Wordlessly, Darkstar looked over her group, checking that all the cats she brought were still present. When she seemed satisfied, she nodded, and led the cats swiftly up and out of Fourtrees, back towards RiverClan camp.

Chapter Text

Petalpaw stood on the riverbank, staring out at the thin ice coating the surface of The Shallows. The deepening leaf-bare chill coated the river in thicker and thicker ice every day, and with the looming threat of ThunderClan, Petalpaw knew it was better to learn how to swim before it was too late. Her belly squirmed uncomfortably and she shifted back and forth on her paws, feeling too hot and too cold at the same time, the pebbly ground pushing between her toes uncomfortably.

“I know it’s not ideal,” Reedshine mewed. “But in a battle, you won’t have time to run to the stepping stones, or the twoleg bridge. ThunderClan would consider you an easy target, trapped in their territory.”

Petalpaw nodded, clenching her teeth to keep from making a snappy reply at Reedshine. At the very least, the snow constantly coating the ground had gotten her more accustomed to having her paws wet, but the idea of stepping into the river willingly…

Well, she wasn’t a fan of it.

“We’ll start slowly,” Reedshine promised her. “You don’t have to swim today. Or tomorrow, either.”

Without waiting for a response, Reedshine strode towards the river. She inhaled audibly, clenching her teeth and stepping through the thin sheet of ice. Shards of it broke off, and eventually a large section of the coating crumbled, leaving the water exposed to the air. The dark ginger queen waded out until the river reached about halfway up her legs, some of her long, wispy belly fur trailing in the water. 

“Try just standing in the water first,” Reedshine called to Petalpaw. “That’s all I want you to do for today, alright?” 

Petalpaw shuffled towards the edge of the river, grumbling under her breath. As she drew closer, unpleasant claws began to prick at her heart and belly, and she felt a clammy, cold-hot wave wash over her. She stopped in her tracks about half a tail-length from the water.

“Good job!” Reedshine called. “You’re doing great!”

I don’t need to be mothered right now, Petalpaw thought bitterly, clenching her jaw. I need to just get over this stupid fear.

 She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out everything around her. The sound of the river chattering was very quiet in The Shallows, the only sound of it was the water tumbling over some rapids around a bend downstream. The silence of the river here was different from the roaring, frothing swell that devoured her littermates and nearly her. At least, Petalpaw told herself that.

Taking a deep breath, Petalpaw opened her eyes, taking a shaky step forward. Tentatively, she inched along the pebbles, the seconds stretching out into what felt like seasons, until the very tips of her forepaws felt the first icy jolt of the river water. Petalpaw flinched back instinctively, but then growled at herself in frustration.

“It’s okay, Petalpaw!” Reedshine called again, beckoning to Petalpaw with her bushy tail, held high above her head encouragingly. “Just keep going!”

Slowly, like a stone dragging across the earth, Petalpaw lifted one forepaw, and extended it out, pressing it into the icy water. The water was barely deep enough to cover her paw, but fear gripped her belly and she cried out, stumbling backwards and sending droplets everywhere. She landed with an unceremonious thump on her side, one paw now soaking wet.

“Frog-dung!” Petalpaw spat in rage, her frame quaking. In a flash, Reedshine bounded over, keeping enough distance to not drip water on her apprentice, but close enough to sniff her over a few times.

“Are you okay?” Reedshine asked, her eyes glittering with concern. “We can go back to camp if you-”

“No,” Petalpaw growled. “It’s stupid I can’t do this. I need to try again.” 

“You’re shaking like a leaf!” Reedshine exclaimed. “Are you sure?”

“I don’t need a mother right now,” Petalpaw snapped, voicing her thought from earlier. “I need a mentor.” 

Reedshine looked taken aback for a moment, but then set her jaw, nodding to Petalpaw.

“Okay,” she mewed. “How about we try something a little different. We’ll go in together, you match my step.”

The dark ginger queen waited patiently for Petalpaw to get back to her paws, and the two cats stood side-by-side facing the cold, still water. Reedshine set a pace slightly faster than Petalpaw’s creeping, but still went slow enough that Petalpaw only felt a little apprehensive with each step forward. Soon enough, they were right at the river’s edge, and Reedshine stretched a paw forward, sticking it into the shallow water. Petalpaw clenched her teeth, steeling herself just as she did before. She braced herself and plunged her paw in once again, the cold enveloping her past her wrist. Her breathing quickened and she felt her frame shake, the world beginning to recede around her. 

“Those ThunderClan apprentices,” Reedshine’s mew jolted Petalpaw’s thoughts away from her paw in the water. “Who were they?”

“What?” Petalpaw tipped her head to one side, genuinely perplexed. “What are you talking about?”

“The ones you talked to at the gathering!” Reedshine purred. “They seemed friendly.”

“Oh,” Petalpaw mewed. “They were Nettlepaw, Squirrelwhisker, Mistpaw, Doepaw, and Eaglestorm. Eaglestorm isn’t from ThunderClan though, he’s WindClan.”

“Mmm,” Reedshine nodded thoughtfully. Petalpaw caught her eyes flick down towards the water, before she continued. “Nettlepaw seemed excited when he saw you.”

“I was surprised I didn’t recognize him,” Petalpaw ducked her head. “He played mossball with Patchkit, Larchkit and I in the ThunderClan nursery.” 

Wordlessly, Reedshine took another step forward, putting her other forepaw in the water. Petalpaw looked down at the water again, feeling the cold creep up from her one wet paw. Again, she felt her body begin to tremble. But she copied her mentor, taking another step forward.

“Is there a reason he was in the nursery all the time?” Reedshine asked, keeping her eyes fixed squarely on Petalpaw’s face.

“Mapleshade is his older sister,” Petalpaw added. “The two of them were always really close. I never saw their mother anywhere, and Mapleshade never talked about her. I think she died. Nettlepaw looks a lot like Mapleshade, but his fur isn’t as bright ginger.”

Petalpaw paused.

“I think I’m starting to forget Mapleshade’s face,” she admitted, feeling guilty. “Patchkit and Larchkit too…”

“We all lose cats,” Reedshine laid her tail comfortingly over Petalpaw’s back. “It’s normal to forget somebody’s face when you haven’t seem them in a while. It’s a sign that you’re moving on.”

“I guess,” Petalpaw mumbled. 

“But what about the others?” Reedshine mewed, trying to change the subject. “Were they nice?”

“Yeah, Squirrelwhisker and Mistpaw were friendly too. Doepaw seemed suspicious of me. Eaglestorm was just kind of scared of everyone, I think,” Petalpaw replied. “Like a true WindClan cat.” 

“He’s a tunneller though!” Reedshine purred, recounting Milkstar’s announcement at the gathering. “He’s got to have some courage to go underground all the time.”

“It’ so weird that WindClan cats dig those tunnels,” Petalpaw mewed. “Cat’s aren’t supposed to do that.”

“WindClan would probably say cats aren’t supposed to swim,” Reedshine pointed out. “The clans all have their own ways. Like ThunderClan’s obsession with teamwork!”

“The ThunderClan apprentices seemed way closer than Perchpaw and I are,” Petalpaw replied. Then, she curled her lip. “But I wouldn’t want to be close with him, so that’s another point for RiverClan.” 

“I’d say you’re fitting in here pretty well,” Reedshine purred. Petalpaw suppressed an eye roll. 

“Yeah, if you ignore Appledusk, and Perchpaw, and the elders, and Birdsong,” Petalpaw rattled off. “I’m practically another fish in the school, aren’t I?” 

“Spoken like a true RiverClanner,” Reedshine flicked her tail over Petalpaw’s ear playfully. “And while we’re on that topic-”

Reedshine was practically glowing with pride as she looked Petalpaw up and down. Petalpaw raised an eyebrow in confusion, before she noticed the stinging coldness wrapped around her legs. The two she-cats stood two fox-lengths into the river, the water coming up almost to Petalpaw’s belly fur. She stiffened, feeling a shiver run up her body. 

“Great StarClan!” she breathed. Elation chased Petalpaw’s shiver away, and for a moment she felt as light as a feather; she was standing in the river, and she hadn’t even blacked out, vomited, or tried to kill another cat in terror! 

“I knew you had it in you!” Reedshine praised her apprentice.

“No you didn’t,” Petalpaw retorted. “You wanted me to go back to camp!”

“Oh, I knew you’d be too headstrong to listen to me,” Reedshine mewed. 

“Whatever,” Petalpaw grumbled. Her elation began to dissipate, like the morning fog on a hot day. She felt trembles working their way into her body. Reedshine twitched her whiskers, sensing the young apprentice’s waning bravado. The dark ginger queen tipped her head back to look at the sky and Petalpaw followed suit. Small spots of cold spotted her nose like claw-pricks, and she realized that a light dusting of snow was starting to fall from the bleak, gray sky.

“Alright, that’s enough for today,” Reedshine decided. “There’s no need to be out in the cold any longer. You’ve far succeeded my expectations, Petalpaw. Good job!”

Petalpaw couldn’t wait another whisker-twitch, she awkwardly shuffled through the water as quickly as she could without throwing up any more ice-cold droplets. Reedshine came trotting up next to her. Petalpaw stood rigid, the wet fur on her belly and legs clinging uncomfortably to her skin. 

“Now for the fun part,” Reedshine purred. She shook herself vigorously and Petalpaw sprang back out of the splash zone. After she was done, Reedshine sat down to lick her ruffled chest fur back into place. Petalpaw figured she should probably shake too; water dripped from her belly fur and legs. Trouble was, she’d never been both wet enough and conscious enough at the same time to shake. Surely it was as easy as it looked? Petalpaw tried to give her pelt a shake, but she stumbled to the side, her numb paws and heavy, wet fur throwing her balance off. 

“Uuf!” Petalpaw grunted, toppling to the ground. 

“Petalpaw!” Reedshine was at her side in an instant. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Petalpaw grumbled. “I’m fine, I was just trying to shake my fur out.”

“Oh!” Reedshine’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry, Petalpaw, I guess most RiverClan cats learn that skill so young it’s almost like second nature to us.”

“Guess I’m not so RiverClan after all,” Petalpaw grumbled, still lying on her side.

“Come on now, don’t talk like that,” Reedshine mewed. She bent down, nosing against Petalpaw’s side, trying to push her up. “Fourtrees didn’t grow in one season.” 

Petalpaw groaned slightly as she pulled herself to her paws. Her fur was no longer dripping, but the uncomfortable wetness clung to her, making her feel claustrophobic and a bit nauseous.

“Let’s get you back to camp,” Reedshine mewed, licking the top of Petalpaw’s head. “You can warm up in the nursery, and tell your sisters about your escapades today.”

“Did you topple a badger?”

“No.”

“Fight off a horde of foxes?”

“No.”

“Oh, oh! I know! Did you take down a whole ThunderClan patrol on your own?”

“No.”

Shykit bounced around Petalpaw excitedly, her paws barely touching the ground as she peppered the light brown apprentice with a flurry of questions that Petalpaw barely had time to give a short “no” to. Ever since she’d become an apprentice, all three of her younger sisters were anxious to hear what she got up to in her training. 

“If I have to fight badgers… I don’t wanna become an apprentice!” Applekit stood by Petalpaw’s side, her light brown fur almost blending in with Petalpaw’s. Willowkit sat on the other side, licking Petalpaw’s fur backwards. It felt funny, but Reedshine insisted it was the best way to get her fur dried quickly; an essential skill to learn in the cold, leaf-bare weather. 

“You look like a big ol’ hedgehog!” Shykit giggled, observing Petalpaw’s unkempt, spiky fur. 

“Hedgehog yourself,” Petalpaw swatted at Shykit playfully, who bounced away from her, laughter continuing. She was amazed at how fast the young cats grew; at almost a moon and a half old their combined weight was already becoming unwieldy for badger rides. Reedshine assured Petalpaw that she’d probably grown just as fast, and was still growing! The apprentice now stood slightly taller than her adoptive mother, and almost as tall and broad as her father, Appledusk. 

“Keep licking, Shykit!” Willowkit scolded her littermate. The young gray tabby had grown a bit of a bossy streak, but she was a good kit; she cared deeply for her sisters. 

“Nuh-uh!” Shykit stuck out her tongue at Willowkit. 

“You’re acting like an itty bitty little kit,” Willowkit turned her nose up, scoffing at her sister. Shykit lowered herself into a crouch, wriggling her haunches mischievously. 

“I’ll show you who’s a little kit!” Shykit pounced at Willowkit, and the two kits went rolling over each other in a flurry of squeaks and tiny paws. Applekit huddled against Petalpaw, watching her sisters with wide eyes.

Applekit reminds me so much of Patchkit… Petalpaw thought, remembering her late brother with a sting of grief. 

Shykit and Willowkit bowled into Reedshine, waking the dark ginger queen rather abruptly from her sleep. She scrambled to her paws, looking startled, her fur fluffed out.

“It’s just Shykit and Willowkit roughhousing,” Petalpaw felt a semblance of a smirk at Reedshine’s bushy fur. 

“Wow!” Shykit’s eyes stretched wide. “Now you look like a big ol’ hedgehog!” 

Reedshine relaxed, allowing her fur to lie flat. Her gaze softened, and she lowered herself back to the ground, leaning over to give Shykit and Willowkit licks.

“Did you lick Petalpaw’s fur the way I told you?” Reedshine asked. She then glanced at the apprentice, and stifled a laugh. “Looks like it!” 

“Did we do a good job?” Shykit bounced on her paws. Next to her, Willowkit sat upright and proud.

“Yes, you’ve been bothering me ever since Reedshine dozed off,” Petalpaw mewed. 

“Bothering?” Applekit mewed, her voice tremoring. “I didn’t know I was bothering you!” 

“You couldn’t bother a fly,” Petalpaw assured the young kit, but Applekit still looked perturbed.

“You weren’t actually bothering anybody,” Reedshine reassured. “That’s just how Petalpaw talks sometimes.” 

“YEAH!” Shykit jumped up onto Petalpaw’s back. “Perchpaw said, Petalpaw’s just kinda mean!” 

Reedshine looked at Shykit sharply.

“When did Perchpaw say that?” she asked. 

“He brought us and Eeltail new moss while you were training!” Shykit mewed, seemingly unbothered. She kneaded on Petalpaw’s fur as she spoke. “He said Petalpaw’s as mean as a fox. She might gobble us up if we’re not careful!” 

Petalpaw rolled her eyes.

Of course Perchpaw would say something frog-brained like that. 

“Perchpaw has a head full of thistledown,” she mewed dismissively. “Besides. The three of you would taste like fish. Yuck!” 

All three of Reedshine’s kits ate fish now that they were weaned; and the thick, healthy gloss of their coats reflected it. Petalpaw, by comparison, looked dull and scruffy, from her land-prey only diet. 

“Why don’t you like fish?” Willowkit tipped her head. “Every cat likes fish!”

“It’s ‘cause she’s from ThunderClan!” Shykit mewed. Reedshine snapped her head to stare at the kit, her eyes wide.

“Where did you hear that?” she asked sternly. 

“Perchpaw, I’m guessing,” Petalpaw interjected before any of the kits could reply. Reedshine never told any of the kits who Petalpaw’s birth mother was; they all assumed it was Reedshine. The dark ginger queen said she didn’t want to spread gossip to kits so young. Petalpaw suspected she worried they would treat her differently, for her half clan heritage. But Petalpaw didn’t really care either way; they’d probably find out the truth eventually. 

“Yeah!” Shykit mewed. “Perchpaw said her mom’s a mean old badger from ThunderClan!” 

“They have badgers in ThunderClan?” Applekit mewed in disbelief. 

“It’s a figure of speech,” Willowkit told her sister. “Petalpaw’s mom isn’t actually a badger. She’s just as smelly and mean as one.”

Petalpaw’s fur prickled in discomfort. Who told them about Mapleshade?

“That’s enough,” Reedshine told the kits sternly. “Don’t speak about other cats like that.” 

“But she’s from another clan,” Shykit mewed. “Perchpaw said it’s fine to be mean if they’re not from RiverClan.” 

Reedshine gave her kits a hard stare.

“No, it’s not okay,” she mewed. “You should be kind to all cats, even the ones from other clans.”

“Really?” Shykit asked, exchanging bewildered glances with her sisters. “But-”

“But nothing,” Reedshine interrupted her. “You’ll be polite and respectful to every cat you meet, okay? I’m raising respectable warriors, not rogues!” 

The three kits fell silent, even Shykit. 

“Sorry, Petalpaw,” Willowkit mumbled. Shykit and Applekit nodded to show their agreement.

“It’s fine,” Petalpaw mewed, gentler than she normally would. “I honestly don’t care what Perchpaw says. Just don’t go repeating it, okay? I don’t want my sisters looking as frog-brained as he is!” 

Petalpaw jabbed at Shykit playfully, and all three kits giggled. 

“I’m going to have a word with Darkstar,” Reedshine mewed. “I don’t want Perchpaw saying things like that around my kits.” 

The dark ginger queen didn’t wait for any of the young cats to respond before she stood up and stretched, pushing her way out of the nursery. 

“Petalpaw,” Willowkit began nervously. “Is Reedshine really not your mother?”

Petalpaw sighed.

“Not by blood, no,” she mewed. All three kits gasped. 

“So Perchpaw was right?!” Applekit mewed. “You’re from ThunderClan?!” 

“Yeah,” Petalpaw grunted, suddenly wanting the conversation to be over. “My mother was a ThunderClan warrior, named Mapleshade. I have the same father as you three, though. Appledusk.” 

“Oh….” Shykit looked pensive. “Why did Appledusk have two mates? And why aren’t you with your real mother?”

Petalpaw felt a familiar discomfort worm in her belly, the same feeling she always got when she remembered what happened when Oakstar exiled Mapleshade.

“Reedshine is my real mother,” she mewed defiantly. 

“This is so confusing,” Shykit shook her head. “It’s hurting my brain!” 

“Let’s do something else, then,” Petalpaw mewed, glad for a way out of the conversation. She reached for a forgotten moss-ball, batting it across the floor. She saw all three kits’ eyes dilate in interest, and Shykit pounced after the clump of moss, squealing in delight. Her two sisters followed after shortly, and soon all three kits were darting about, pouncing on each other and chittering happily. Petalpaw watched them play, remembering when she had been so innocent, just like the three of them. She’d played with Patchkit and Larchkit in almost the same way, in the ThunderClan nursery. She wondered if the three would stay this close as apprentices, and warriors. She had no way of knowing; her littermates were gone. Because nobody in ThunderClan wanted to defend us, Petalpaw thought bitterly. How could any cat stand by while innocent kits were cast out? She imagined the same happening to her younger sisters, and shuddered. Applekit, Willowkit, and Shykit weren’t at the same risks as Petalpaw, but nonetheless she still felt a fierce surge of protectiveness in her chest.

I don’t want them to go through what happened to me, Petalpaw thought. I’ll keep them safe, no matter what. 

Chapter Text

“RiverClan fish! RiverClan swim! RiverClan warriors use water to win!”

Petalpaw rolled her eyes as Perchpaw repeated the lame RiverClan “battle cry” for his mentor. She lounged on a rock at the edge of the shallow dip in the Beech Copse, while Reedshine went to get a drink from the stream. Though Reedshine was doing well a moon and a half after her kitting, her stamina wasn’t back to full just yet. The dark ginger queen took Petalpaw on dawn patrol just about every morning, trying to work that strength back up. Yawning, Petalpaw watched the other apprentice-mentor duo at work. 

“Good,” Appledusk replied. “Now do the move again.”

Appledusk and Perchpaw stood across the Beech Copse, practicing a front paw-swipe. Darkstar asked Appledusk and Reedshine to train their apprentices together today; an unusual practice for RiverClan. Petalpaw suspected it may have something to do with the talk Reedshine had with Darkstar the day before. Petalpaw didn’t see how making them spend time together would fix anything, since it would just give the dark tabby more nasty things to say about her.

“Oof!” Perchpaw grunted as he lot his balance, falling to the ground. 

“Frog-brain!” Appledusk scolded. “You’re supposed to be knocking me over. Try again.”

Petalpaw watched as the two cats got back into position. Perchpaw lowered himself into a battle crouch and then surged forward, lashing his forepaw out at Appledusk. However, Petalpaw noticed, Appledusk stood slightly too far from Perchpaw, so that the apprentice’s short legs couldn’t quite reach him. Just like before, Perchpaw missed his mentor, stumbling to the side. 

“Honestly, Perchpaw,” Appledusk growled. “It’s a basic move.” 

“I’m doing my best!” Perchpaw snapped back, flexing his claws into the earth. Some light sprinkles of snow sat atop the soil, but most of the white material piled at the sides of the hollow, pushed there by Petalpaw and Perchpaw at the start of training.

“Maybe we ought to demonstrate it,” Reedshine’s mew came from behind Petalpaw, as the dark ginger warrior pushed through the underbrush surrounding the Beech Copse. She crested the small hill and bounded down the side of the hollow, through a small break in the snowdrifts. 

“Tch,” Appledusk rolled his eyes. “A senior warrior against a nursing queen? It’d hardly be fair.”

Petalpaw watched as Reedshine set her jaw, doing her best to keep her tone even.

“And is that how you plan on winning me back, Appledusk?” she mewed lightly. “It’s not exactly flattering.”

Appledusk grunted, looking a bit embarrassed. 

“I just think it’d be unbecoming if I hit a she-cat,” he grumbled.

“Come here,” Reedshine mewed impatiently. “Petalpaw, Perchpaw, you watch me do the move on Appledusk, since he’s so worried about my fragile, kit-bearing body.” 

Petalpaw jumped down from the rock and padded towards the center of the Beech Copse. She sat a tail-length from Perchpaw, decidedly not looking at her fellow apprentice. Meanwhile, Appledusk and Reedshine squared up; circling each other. Petalpaw studied Reedshine carefully; she could see a bit of tension in her mentor’s form, but she did her best to hide it. Without warning, a blur of dark ginger flashed forward as Reedshine lunged for Appledusk. She went low, hooking her paw around Appledusk’s leg. The large, broad warrior yelped in surprise as Reedshine swept his weight out from under him, and he landed on the ground with a thud. As quickly as she approached, Reedshine retreated, dancing out of range of any would-be counterattack. 

“Woah!” Petalpaw heard Perchpaw breathe in admiration next to her. She snuck a glance sideways to see the dark tabby’s eyes wide in admiration. Then, he shook his head, trying to put on a disapproving scowl. 

“You should try and get as close to your enemy as you can before you strike,” Reedshine instructed Perchpaw. Did she just flash a knowing glance at Appledusk? “The idea is to get a good, clean hook on them before they have an opportunity to react.” 

“Well done,” Appledusk mewed grudgingly as he got back to his paws, shaking some loose snowflakes from his pelt. “Come along now, Perchpaw. If she can do it, so can you.”

Reedshine nodded at Petalpaw, who got up as well, nerves tingling in her paws. She’d practiced the move on Reedshine, but she worried that her mentor may have gone easy on her so she could learn the form. Petalpaw shook her pelt out, getting into position with Perchpaw.

 Imitating what they’d seen the warriors do, the two apprentices began circling each other, heads held low and hackles raised. Then, in a flash of dark tabby fur, Perchpaw lunged forward. Petalpaw froze; she wondered if she should react, or if she should stay still and let Perchpaw practice the move. Her decision was made for her as she lingered too long; Perchpaw hooked a large paw around her leg and swept them clean out from under her. Petalpaw felt a cool wind whip her whiskers as she crashed to the ground, dull pain rippling up her flank. 

“Ha!” she heard Perchpaw cheer. “Did you see that, Appledusk? The half-clan drypaw can’t even fight back!” 

I just let you practice the move, frog-bran! Petalpaw thought hotly. 

“For StarClan’s sake, stop gloating,” Appledusk mewed. “It’s a practice fight, not the battle for Sunningrocks.”

“Don’t talk about Petalpaw like that,” Reedshine added in as well. Petalpaw clenched her jaw, embarrassed that Reedshine was defending her. 

“Let me have a go,” Petalpaw grunted, hauling herself to her paws. She felt determined to show Perchpaw what for, and wipe that smug grin off the dark tabby’s face. Though, Petalpaw had to admit, her dark tabby opponent didn’t look so smug anymore. Perchpaw shook some loose flakes from his pelt, and lowered himself into a battle crouch. The two apprentices began circling each other again, but this time, Petalpaw took the initiative, bunching her muscles and surging forward. However, Perchpaw’s experience showed; smoothly, he ducked to the side, allowing Petalpaw to land face-down in the cold dirt. He planted a forepaw between her shoulders, pinning her.

“About time,” Appledusk muttered quietly. 

“Good form, but there’s no need to pin her when you’re only practicing the form,” Reedshine added in, sounding a bit concerned.

“Get off me,” Petalpaw shouldered Perchpaw off roughly, feeling a sting of satisfaction when he stumbled in surprise. Embarrassment burned under her pelt as she tried to commit Reedshine’s teaching to heart. 

“This time, treat it as a real mock-battle,” Appledusk mewed. “Fight until one of you has the other pinned”

“But remember,” Reedshine tacked on afterwards, rather pointedly. “Sheathed claws only- we are here to learn, not to harm each other.” 

Petalpaw flicked her tail in acknowledgement. As much as she would love to claw Perchpaw across the muzzle, she knew it wasn’t worth the trouble she’d get in with Darkstar. 

The two apprentices squared up again, but this time, Petalpaw didn’t hesitate when Appledusk called for the two to begin. She leapt at Perchpaw, bowling into his side with all her strength. He staggered to the side, shoving her away. He lashed out a forepaw, but Petalpaw was ready this time, dancing away from him and scrapping her forepaw along his flank. Had her claws been extended, she would’ve given him a deep wound. But this was a mock-battle, so Perchpaw came back with a flurry of paw-swipes, driving Petalpaw back towards the wall of the hollow. He cornered her against the slope, so in a last-ditch effort Petalpaw launched forward, attempting to tackle his massive tabby form. The two cats tumbled to the side, with Petalpaw dazed from the collision. 

So Perchpaw is about as solid as he looks, Petalpaw noted. Good to know. She grunted in effort as her adversary rolled her to the ground and planted his paws between her shoulders, pinning her again.

“That’s match,” Reedshine called. Petalpaw felt Perchpaw ease off her, and trot back towards the center. Petalpaw groaned, feeling embarrassment burn under her pelt. 

Beat by him twice in a row! she thought angrily. If only there were other apprentices besides just the two of us…

“Now go for three in a row,” Appledusk mewed, a smug grin creeping across his muzzle. Petalpaw noticed Perchpaw’s bravado returning as well, the dark tabby barely hiding his sneer as he gazed at her. Petalpaw flexed her claws, pulling back her lips into a snarl. 

“Remember, claws sheathed,” Reedshine pressed again. She must have noticed Petalpaw’s agitation. “You’re doing great, Petalpaw.”

“About as good as a half-clan drypaw trained by a nursing queen could be!” Perchpaw sneered. “I almost feel bad for you, poor little Petalkit !”

“Perchpaw, that’s not necessary,” Reedshine was the one to tell him off, not Appledusk.

“He’s my apprentice,” Appledusk growled to Reedshine. “Not yours.” 

“So don’t let him run his stupid mouth!” Petalpaw interjected icily to her father. His head snapped towards her, narrowing his green eyes dangerously.

“You have a lot to learn,” Appledusk began carefully. “Be grateful a real RiverClan apprentice is willing to demonstrate for you.” 

A warning growl rumbled in Petalpaw’s throat. She wanted to lunge at Appledusk and rip his ear off, but she held herself in place, letting her limbs go stiff with fury. 

“Should we try again?” Reedshine mewed, eager to keep the training going. “The sun isn’t getting any higher.” 

The two apprentices circled each other over and over, for what felt like an eternity. Though the sun was hidden behind gray clouds, Petalpaw could see the faint shadows creeping across the ground as Perchpaw defeated her in mock-battle, over and over and over. Between matches, Reedshine took her aside and encourage her, giving her tips on how to improve her form. Perchpaw merely sat and waited, stony silence coming from both him and his mentor.

As the day crawled onwards, Petalpaw felt the moves coming to her easier, her attacks and dodges growing less clumsy as she practiced, but Perchpaw was simply too experienced. 

“Uuf!” Petalpaw grunted as Perchpaw threw her to the ground. Her whole body ached, her limbs shaky from exhaustion. Her strength failed her, and she simply laid there, letting the tension go from her joints. 

“Petalpaw!” Reedshine called out in alarm the sound of her pawsteps pounding against the soil. Petalpaw groaned internally. She appreciated Reedshine’s concern, but she knew Perchpaw was never going to let her hear the end of how much her mentor mothered her.

Well she’s also my mother, Petalpaw thought. So I guess that’s about what I should expect. 

“Mm’okay,” Petalpaw mumbled into the snow-dusted ground. “Jus’ Tired.”

“Come on then,” Reedshine nosed her in the side. “Get up, get out of the mud!” 

Petalpaw grunted with effort, and pushed herself to her paws with some help from Reedshine. She sat up, and Reedshine began licking her fur, putting the flyaway tufts back into place and working out the dirt. 

“You did great today,” Reedshine mewed between licks.

“Great at failing,” Petalpaw muttered. 

“It was your first time sparring with an actual opponent!” Reedshine mewed. “Perchpaw probably didn’t win his first fights either.” 

“Whatever,” Petalpaw grumbled. She stood up, and shook out her pelt. “We should get back to camp before the kits drive Eeltail crazy.” 

Petalpaw looked across the clearing, seeing Perchpaw trot up to Appledusk, his chest puffed out and tail held high. 

“I did pretty great, didn’t I?” he mewed. Appledusk, who was washing his paws, didn’t look up.

“Oh please,” he mewed, his voice low. “She’s barely an opponent. It’s like fighting a kit.” 

“But my moves-” Perchpaw began.

“Were sloppy,” Appledusk cut him off. “We’re going to go over them again tomorrow.” 

Appledusk stood up and stalked to the side of the side of the Beech Copse. Perchpaw watched him go, his tail drooping and his eyes glittering with disappointment. Tail and head low, he followed after his mentor, hauling himself up over the side of the Beech Copse. 

“Delightful pair, aren’t they?” Reedshine mewed.

“I hope I never have to spar with him again,” Petalpaw grunted. 

“Darkstar will probably want you to try again in a quarter-moon or so,” Reedshine mewed. “It’s good for checking your progress.”

Petalpaw just snorted, getting up to follow her mentor back to camp.

It was past moonhigh when Petalpaw finally crawled into the apprentice’s den. When she returned from training earlier in the day, Shykit, Willowkit, and Applekit demanded to know everything that happened. Then, they wanted badger rides, and to play mossball. Tired as she was, Petalpaw couldn’t say no to her little sisters. By the time Reedshine finally got the trio of kits to settle down, Petalpaw was practically asleep on her paws. Now, exhaustion clung to her pelt like it was damp, and her paws dragged on the floor as she climbed into her nest. She’d spent her free time as an apprentice working the reeds into a tight, even weave, and it was now decorated with a simply dazzling array of feathers and shells; all gifts from her younger sisters. She knew Reedshine slipped some moss into it from time to time as well, so it was by far the coziest nest Petalpaw had ever slept in. Circling a few times, Petalpaw let out a low groan as she lowered herself into the nest, the soft moss and down cocooning her like the softest belly fur of a nursing queen. 

She cast a look across the den, towards the sole other nest in the space. Perchpaw laid curled up, a huge mound of dark tabby fluff spilling over the lip of the nest with his back to Petalpaw. The rhythmic rising of his side told Petalpaw that her denmate was asleep in his shabby, loose nest. It had no decorations, and only the moss Perchpaw could find for himself; which was usually not very good, since all the softest, driest moss went straight to the elders and queens. The only noteworthy thing about Perchpaw’s nest was the pretty white rock he hid underneath the lumpy moss. Petalpaw imagined it wasn’t very comfortable for Perchpaw to sleep with it underneath him, but he seemed insistent on keeping it hidden. 

Petalpaw spent her last conscious thoughts pondering, as she often did, why Perchpaw opted to get rid of his entire rock collection. Then, she let her heavy eyes close, allowing sleep to embrace her.  

A deep, sickly-sweet rotting smell hit Petalpaw’s nose, and her eyes flew open. Feeling an uncomfortable wetness on her belly, she leapt to her paws. Surrounding her was a dank, musty forest; dark as night and shrouded in mist so that she could not see more than a couple fox-lengths away. The ground was coated in a thin layer of slime that now clung to Petalpaw’s belly. Looking up, the sky was inky black and empty. 

Beware.

The word was hot in her ears; like a cat stood uncomfortably close, whispering it to her. She whirled around, seeing nobody. Shadows flitted on the edge of her vision, but as she repeatedly turned around, the forest remained empty, bare trees looming like old bone. The whispers continued as Petalpaw’s breathing quickened, her heart hammering against her chest. Something slimy brushed against her side, and she took off in fear, pelting between the rotting trees and jumping over hollowed out logs. Dimly glowing mushrooms and lichen flashed by as her paws pounded the smelly, squishy ground underneath her. No matter how fast she ran, though, she could hear the whispers continuing.

The enemy comes from within. Your blood will betray you.

Petalpaw continued running, her lungs burning as panic welled in her throat like hot, sour bile. She could feel her paws churning up the muddy, damp ground, but no matter how fast she ran, she couldn’t stop the whispers. A huge, lithe form flashed out from behind a boulder, coming at her as fast as lightning.

An adder! Petalpaw thought with panic, recognizing the patterns along the snake’s flanks. She veered to the side, and lost her footing on a rock sticking out of the ground. Dull pain battered her pelt as she went tumbling head-over-paws across the muddy earth, until the mud disappeared from under her, and she fell through the air for a few horrible seconds. Then, as quickly as the ground vanished, a deep, deep cold coccooned her. She opened her mouth to scream, but freezing, foul water, thick like sludge and black as the night, rushed into her mouth, choking her, burning her nostrils, filling her chest with panic. She thrashed as hard as she could, trying to scream, to call for help, to do anything. But she couldn’t; and the water seemed to grow thicker, dulling her movements and filling her lungs. Slowly, like sunlight draining from the sky, the fight left her limbs, and she began to grow numb.

“Great StarClan, wake up!” 

A paw jabbed Petalpaw harshly in the side, and she jolted awake to see Perchpaw standing over her, his muzzle twisted in annoyance. Gray, early morning light filtered through the gaps in the apprentice’s den roof, and Petalpaw blinked in confusion, taking a moment to stop flailing her limbs around.

“You were having a nightmare,” Perchpaw grunted. “Like a dumb little kit.”

Unable to find a snappy response in her, Petalpaw just stared at her denmate in disbelief. Perchpaw held her gaze, his expression… odd. Eventually the dark tabby rolled his eyes and returned to his own nest, muttering something under his breath. Petalpaw watched him go, still not fully registering that she was awake. The foul-tasting water lingered on her tongue, and the whispers echoed in her ears.

Your blood will betray you.

Chapter Text

“Is everything okay, Petalpaw?” Reedshine asked. 

“Fine,” Petalpaw grunted. “I’m fine.”

Petalpaw stood in the freezing cold river, frigid water up almost to her shoulders. About a half-moon had passed since her first training session with Perchpaw; Darkstar hadn’t made the two work together since, but Reedshine took her out every day to practice battle moves and wade a little deeper into the river. 

“We’ll keep walking out, until the water completely covers your back,” Reedshine mewed. “Can you do that?” 

Petalpaw grumbled, clenching her teeth against the cold. She knew this would’ve been easier back in leaf-fall, when she was a kit, and the river wasn’t frozen over. But every day now, the ice grew thicker, and Petalpaw felt her apprehension to learn to swim outweighing her old fears. And with the water frozen, the river was lower, the current less swift. Slowly, she walked forward, alongside Reedshine. The sharp cold of the water crept up her sides, and then over her back. A ripple of fear flashed in her belly, and her frame went tense.

“Remember, breathe,” Reedshine reminded her. “Inhale, as deep as you can, and then out again.” 

Petalpaw sucked air in through her nostrils for as long as her tight chest would allow. Then, shakily, she pushed it back out, her breath billowing in front of her. 

“Any better?” Reedshine asked.

“No,” Petalpaw replied. 

“No in a for real way, or No in a Petalpaw way?” Reedshine asked. 

“Is there a difference?” Petalpaw grunted exasperatedly. 

“So it’s no in a Petalpaw way, got it,” Reedshine decided. “Come on then, just a little further out.”

Petalpaw didn’t question her mentor’s words, as opaque as they seemed to her. She clenched her teeth, taking a few more steps into the river, following behind Reedshine. She stood up to her neck in the freezing river, shivering just a tiny bit. She didn’t have the thick, glossy, moisture-repellant coat of a RiverClan cat, so the water seeped through straight to her skin. 

“Do I have to do the last part?” Petalpaw asked.

“Yes,” Reedshine mewed gently. “Just hold your breath, and go underwater. You don’t have to actually swim yet, just get underwater, and see how you feel.” 

Petalpaw grunted, and set her jaw. She spread her toes, digging her claws into the sandy, pebbly riverbed beneath her. The current was barely noticeable as it billowed through her short, shaggy coat. If she lost her footing, she would maybe drift a few paw-lengths downstream. Still, though, she tremored with unease, only able to think of the previous two times she went underwater. 

The water isn’t fast-moving, Petalpaw told herself. And Reedshine is right here to help me, if anything goes wrong. I can do this. 

Taking a deep gulp of air, Petalpaw plunged her whole body underwater. She pinned back her ears and squeezed her eyes shut to keep water from rushing into them, and merely crouched on the river floor, the water just barely over her head. The cold intensified and Petalpaw felt the urge to open her mouth and cry out in fear, but determinedly, she kept her jaw clenched shut, until she couldn’t hold her breath any longer. Clumsily, she pushed on the floor of the riverbed, shooting her head back up above the water and taking a huge gulp of chilly leaf-bare air. 

“Well done!” Reedshine cheered, a purr escaping from her throat. “How was it?”

“Cold,” Petalpaw grunted. “And wet.” 

“But you didn’t drown,” Reedshine pointed out.

“So the water has two wins, and I have one,” Petalpaw grumbled. She knew she should feel embarrassed at how long it’s taken for her to go underwater, but instead she felt the tingle of exhilaration return, an excitement at being one step closer to conquering her fear.

“We’ll tie it up eventually,” Reedshine purred. “For now, let’s get back to camp and dry off before our training.” 

“What? More group training?” Petalpaw complained at the sight waiting for her in the Beech Copse. Reedshine sat in the shallow dip next to the fat, stocky form of Troutclaw. The two warriors must have arrived earlier, since the accumulated snow in the basin was pushed over to the sides to make room for training. 

“We cleared out the hollow for you while you were on your warm-up patrol,” Troutclaw pointedly ignored Petalpaw’s displeasure. “So you wouldn’t have to do it yourself.”

“Oh,” Petalpaw felt a prickle of regret being so outwardly annoyed. “Er, thanks, I guess.”

“Troutclaw expressed interest in mentoring one of my kits,” Reedshine mewed excitedly. “Darkstar said he could come with us today, to shadow your training and see what it’s like to be a mentor.”

Petalpaw suppressed a groan. She could still barely hold her own against Perchpaw, another apprentice. Now she’d have another whole set of eyes on her, the eyes of a fully trained warrior, waiting for her to fail.

“Troutclaw, I’m going to walk Petalpaw through some moves and practice sparring. Then, I want you to try, okay?” Reedshine asked the gray tom. He nodded, moving off to the side and sitting down, tail curled over his paws and ears angled attentively. Once he was out of the way, Reedshine dropped to a battle crouch.

“I’m going to try and knock you over,” she mewed. “I won’t give you any warning this time, so just try your best!” 

Petalpaw lowered herself as well, circling her mentor expectantly, the anticipation of battle prickling in her paws. Suddenly, in a flash of dark ginger fur, Reedshine lunged forward. Petalpaw stiffened, and then ducked to the side. Reedshine, lithe and agile, recovered easily, twisting and dancing as if she were a fish in water. She bounded forward again, lashing out at the apprentice with a forepaw strike. Petalpaw tried to dance out of her way, but with her bulkier frame, she was much clumsier than her mentor, and she stumbled. Seeing an opening, Reedshine lunged again, springing up onto Petalpaw’s back and gripping her with claws, though not too hard. The apprentice felt her legs buckle under the warrior’s weight, but instead of giving in, she heaved to the side, rolling over and flattening Reedshine, who gave a yelp of surprise. Petalpaw sprang up and planted a paw on Reedshine’s shoulders, pinning her to the ground.

“Well done!” Reedshine mewed breathlessly. Petalpaw ducked her head appreciatively, stepping off her mentor and allowing the dark ginger warrior to get back to her paws. “Petalpaw, you fought well, your attacks and dodges are getting smoother. However, when I went in with a forepaw swipe, I noticed you tried to copy my movement. You’re bulkier and have larger paws than I do, so you should try to play to your strengths a bit more.”

Petalpaw nodded, feeling a bit stupid she didn’t think of that first. Reedshine then turned to Troutclaw, who watched in polite silence from a few fox-lengths away.

“Troutclaw, notice how I didn’t attack with my full strength just yet - Petalpaw’s an intermediate apprentice, so we’re able to do real sparring, but in order to let her practice the moves properly, I hold back a little,” Reedshine informed him. “And when I sprung up onto her back, I made sure to only hook my claws into her pelt, not her skin.” 

The gray tom nodded energetically, taking in all of Reedshine’s words. 

“When’s the best time to start using your full strength in sparring with an apprentice?” Troutclaw asked. “Ten moons old? Eleven? How old is Petalpaw?”

“I’m eight and a half moons,” Petalpaw grunted to the gray tom. 

“It varies from apprentice to apprentice,” Reedshine mewed. “Petalpaw’s bigger than me now, but she started her training a bit late. You’ll have to figure out what works for your apprentice in particular - some are really timid, and don’t like attacking with full force at first. Once theyre beating you pretty easily, that usually means it’s time to ramp up the difficulty.”

Troutclaw nodded again, eyes glittering with excitement. 

“I want you to try sparring with Petalpaw next,” Reedshine told him. “Petalpaw, use your full strength, like you did with me. Just no claws.”

“I know not to use claws in training,” Petalpaw grumbled. 

“Just making sure you’re paying attention,” Reedshine winked at her. 

Troutclaw was a surprisingly good sparring partner. The two cats spent much of the day trading blows, with Reedshine coaching them both; Troutclaw on his ability as a teacher, and Petalpaw on the quality of her fighting. Petalpaw found her most viable strategy, like Reedshine suggested, was throwing her weight around. She wasn’t the most agile cat, with stocky legs and large paws, but if she could knock an opponent over and pin them, she’d almost always be in the position to deliver a winning bite, with her bulk too overwhelming for a downed opponent to lift.

“Petalpaw wins again!” Reedshine mewed proudly as Petalpaw placed a paw between Troutclaw’s shoulders again. The sun was descending in the sky, casting long, faint shadows on the snow-dusted ground. Petalpaw stepped off Troutclaw, letting the tom get back to his paws. He shook out his pelt, and gave Petalpaw an approving nod.

“Good work today,” he mewed. His tone was genuine, carrying no hint of mocking or condescension. In fact, his eyes glittered with excitement, even though he spent most of the day getting trodden on by an apprentice. “You learn really fast. You might have started late, but I bet you’ll be a warrior in no time. Maybe we could even be mentors together!”

“Oh, Petalpaw mentoring one of my kits!” Reedshine purred. “That’d be wonderful!” 

Petalpaw didn’t have the heart to tell either of them that from her perspective, mentoring seemed really, really boring. Petalpaw shook out her pelt, Reedshine and Troutclaw following suit. The three cats sat up and began stretching and washing, working the tension out of their exhausted limbs before walking back to camp. They sat in silence for a short while, until Reedshine made conversation.

“So, Troutclaw,” Reedshine mewed between licks. “How’re things going with Splashfoot?”

The dark gray tom stiffened, pausing mid-lick with his tongue out. 

“Er,” he mewed nervously. “What do you mean?”

Reedshine purred with amusement.

“Every cat in camp can tell you’re padding after him, silly duck,” Reedshine mewed. “Even Shykit noticed!” 

Troutclaw went back to licking his fur, embarrassed. Petalpaw furrowed her brow.

“Y-yeah, I guess he’s pretty nice,” the gray tom mumbled. “I dunno if he even likes toms, though.”

“Toms?” Petalpaw tipped her head, interjecting bluntly. “You like toms?” 

“Well what did you think when I said he was padding after Splashfoot?” Reedshine flicked her tail over the apprentice’s head. Petalpaw grunted, lowering her head.

“I ‘unno,” she admitted. “I didn’t think you meant it like that. Is it even allowed? Toms and toms, as mates? It never happened in ThunderClan.”

“Oh yeah, it’s pretty normal,” Troutclaw mewed. “At least, in RiverClan anyways. It’s just not as common as toms and she-cats being together. “

“I guess that makes sense,” Petalpaw mewed. “I just never really considered it.” 

“ Have you considered anyone?” Reedshine asked teasingly. Petalpaw wrinkled her nose, sticking out her tongue.

“No,” she grumbled. “No way. Gross.” 

Reedshine and Troutclaw both chuffed with laughter.
“It’s better to play it safe. Getting romance wrong can be really awkward. Did you know Voleflight and Rainfall used to be mates?” Troutclaw mewed. 

“Really?” Reedshine’s eyes widened. “I never heard about that!” 

“They were pretty private about it, but Voleflight accidentally mentioned it during group training. Birdsong freaked out!” Troutclaw mewed, with a small laugh. “Anyways, don’t tell anybody, because he said I wasn’t supposed to know.”

“Oh, of course,” Reedshine got to her paws and arched her back in one final stretch. “Anyways, let’s get out of the cold before we all freeze, gossiping out here like elders!”

Petalpaw stood up and stretched as well, flexing her claws into the earth and shaking the last few snowflakes from her pelt. Troutclaw followed suit, and the three cats climbed the shallow incline, beginning the walk back to camp.

“Y’know, Troutclaw,” Reedshine mewed. “You should try giving Splashfoot a gift. His nest is so bare. I bet he’d love a shell or rock to decorate it with!” 

Troutclaw’s eyes lit up, all his former denial about his crush gone. 

“That’s a great idea, Reedshine!” he exclaimed. “I’ll have to check my pile when I get back to camp… See if I have anything worthwhile. Maybe Perchpaw and I could go rock diving again, we haven’t done that in moons!”

Petalpaw winced. She could guess why that was the case, recalling how Perchpaw’s entire rock pile vanished seemingly overnight. She kept her mouth shut though, to not ruin Troutclaw’s good mood. Hopefully Perchpaw would at least have the tact to turn him down politely.

When the three cats reached camp, one of the guards caught sight of them and sprang up excitedly. It was Duskwater, a young, shaggy, dark-gray she-cat with bright green eyes. She bounded over to Troutclaw, shuffling excitedly on her paws.

“Troutclaw! You’re just in time!” she mewed loud enough for any cat in a dozen fox-lengths to hear. “Mind doing me a favor?”

Troutclaw tipped his head, blinking with perplexion. 

“Er, what do you need, Duskwater?” he asked.

“I’ve gooooot to go to the dirtplace soooooo bad,” she mewed,still fidgeting. “Can you cover for me here at the entrance?”

Petalpaw glanced around Duskwater to see the other guard was none other than Splashfoot. The pale gray tom looked a bit shocked, but Petalpaw found that was almost always the case for him. Troutclaw must have noticed too, because his voice went weird and high-pitched when he responded.

“Sure thing!” he mewed, his voice breaking awkwardly. Petalpaw heard Reedshine stifle a purr next to her. 

“OkaythanksBYEEEEE!” Duskwater’s words all ran into each other as she practically flew through the camp entrance, disappearing behind the reeds. Troutclaw moved awkwardly to sit near Splashfoot (but not too close, Petalpaw noted) and take Duskwater’s position on guard duty. Petalpaw and Reedshine pushed through the entrance to camp, leaving the two toms in peace. Emerging from the gap in the wall, Petalpaw found Duskwater crouched just on the other side of the reeds, listening intently to whatever was happening outside the entrance. 

“I thought you had to go to the dirtplace,” Petalpaw mewed.

“Ha! No, I needed to get those love-birds talking to each other!” Duskwater mewed excitedly. “Splashfoot wouldn’t stop talking about him after the three of you left for training!”

“Don’t you think you might get in trouble with Darkstar for just ditching your guard duty?” Petalpaw asked.

“Noooo, she’ll understand. It’s for LOVE!” Duskwater’s gaze turned dreamy. Petalpaw rolled her eyes, knowing that the stern leader would probably not understand. Either way, she left the dark gray warrior to whatever snooping she wanted to do, padding across the camp towards the apprentice’s den. She stopped dead in her tracks at the sight before her, though. In the clearing, between the apprentice’s den and nursery, Appledusk stood with Shykit, Applekit, and Willowkit. The sturdy warrior was in a hunting crouch, instructing the kits. Shykit and Willowkit kept getting up to tussle with each other, but Applekit, Petalpaw noticed, very intently copied her father’s moves, not moving as Appledusk nudged her paws into the right position. The tiny, light-brown kit looked so much like her father, just like Petalpaw herself, watching him with wide, adoring blue eyes. Petalpaw expected Appledusk to turn and scold Applekit harshly, just like he had done to Petalpaw so many times as a kit. Fear and rage flared in her chest at the memory, and she didn’t wait for him to do the same to her younger sisters. Despite her senses screaming at her to stay put, she bounded forward and bowled into Appledusk, flattening him to the ground and hooking her claws into his pelt.

“What in StarClan’s name-” Appledusk exclaimed, his voice breathy and low, the wind knocked out of him. “Petalpaw, what is wrong with you?!” 

“Get away from Reedshine’s kits!” Petalpaw snarled at him, driving his head into the dirt. Her father struggled, trying to throw her off, but she remembered her day of training and shifted her weight, pinning him effectively. She snarled again, baring her teeth for a bite, when a terrified squeak rang out behind her.

“Reedshine! Reedshine!” it was the high-pitched wail of Applekit, crying out in fear. In an instant, the dark ginger queen appeared from the nursery, her blue eyes wide in shock.

“Petalpaw!” to Petalpaw’s surprise, Reedshine spoke to her, and not Appledusk. “What are you doing? Get off of him!” 

Petalpaw snarled, but after a moment of consideration, stepped off of her father, allowing him to push himself up out of the dirt. He shook his pelt out, flashing a furious glare at Petalpaw before bending his head down to lick his fur back into place. 

“He was with the kits!” Petalpaw spat, waiting for Reedshine’s expression to change, and for her to grow angry. However, the queen just sighed.

“Petalpaw, he’s their father,” Reedshine mewed tersely. “He has a right to spend time with them if he wishes.”    

Petalpaw couldn’t believe her ears. Had Reedshine forgotten how Appledusk treated her? 

“He hasn’t got a right to fox-dung!” Petalpaw snarled, baring her teeth. “No-good, crowfood-eating-”

“That’s enough,” the icy mew of Darkstar cut Petalpaw off. She must have heard the commotion from her den, and now she strode across the camp with her eyes clear and focused and her head held high. 

“Darkstar!” Petalpaw mewed. “Appledusk was with Reedshine’s kits!” 

Darkstar responded only with a cool silence, staring at Petalpaw with an unreadable expression. Then, she turned to Appledusk.

“Appledusk, are you hurt?” she asked. 

“No,” Appledusk grunted. “Petalpaw still fights like a half-clan drypaw.” 

Darkstar narrowed her eyes at him in warning, and he didn’t say any more.

“Very well. You may go back to what you were doing,” she mewed. She snapped her head to Petalpaw, boring into her with icy blue eyes. “You. My den, now.” 

“ What?!” Petalpaw exclaimed angrily. “But he-”

“It wasn’t a request, Petalpaw,” Darkstar cut her off. “ Go.” 

Petalpaw lingered for a moment, staring between Appledusk, who glared at her with open contempt, and the kits, whose eyes were all widened at her in terror. When she saw Darkstar’s tail twitch, she turned and stomped across the clearing, feeling the curious gazes of her clanmates on her pelt like hot sun. What bothered her most was her sisters’ terror, though. She recalled her own kithood, where Appledusk’s scoldings would scare her into the same stunned silence. Before she could dwell on it too much, she pushed it away, grumbling angrily as she ducked into Darkstar’s den. The leader followed not long after, her blue eyes flashing menacingly in the dark space.

“Explain yourself,” was all Darkstar mewed.

“I already did!” Petalpaw mewed in frustration. “Appledusk was with Reedshine’s kits!”

“I am aware,” Darkstar mewed. Petalpaw lashed her tail angrily. 

“Are you going to do something about it?” she asked hotly.

“Were the kits distressed?” Darkstar asked. 

“No,” Petalpaw mewed. “But-”

“Did they try to get away from Appledusk?” Darkstar continued.

“...No,” Petalpaw replied.

“Did Reedshine object to Appledusk playing with them?” Darkstar asked. Petalpaw began to feel regret prickling at her pawpads.

“No,” Petalpaw mewed through gritted teeth. 

“The kits were playing with him willingly,” Darkstar mewed. “And their mother had no objections. He posed no danger to them.”

At the assertation that Appledusk was harmless, Petalpaw pinned her ears back in anger.

“He can’t be trusted around his kits!” Petalpaw snapped. “What if he treats them like how he treated me?” 

Darkstar sighed, whisking her tail.

“You are a passionate cat, Petalpaw,” she mewed. “You care very much for your younger sisters, and that is a good thing. But Appledusk has shown no signs of hostility towards them. Reedshine is okay with Appledusk spending time with the kits, even if she herself keeps her distance from him. The kits enjoy his company as well. I know that Appledusk has been unfair to you, but he has not acted that way to Applekit, Shykit, and Willowkit. If he is cruel to them, I will ensure he faces consequences. But I cannot in good conscience punish Appledusk for something he might do.” 

Petalpaw growled, knowing logically that Darkstar was right. But it just felt… unfair. How could Appledusk play with and love his kits with Reedshine, and then turn around and insult Petalpaw? She was his kit too, even if she utterly despised him. She felt a flicker of doubt, old fears resurfacing. She wondered for a moment if she was the problem. But she pushed the thought away, merely lashing her tail.

“Petalpaw, I won’t punish you this time,” Darkstar warned. “Because you acted out of concern, and not malice. But believe me when I say, you will be cleaning the elders’ den for a season if you attack another cat in camp again.” 

“Yes, Darkstar,” she mumbled. 

“And remember,” Darkstar added on. “If you have a problem with something, you can speak with me about it, not show your claws in front of the whole camp. I will not tolerate fighting in my Clan.”

Petalpaw merely grumbled assent. The leader flicked her tail to dismiss Petalpaw, who ducked out of the leaders’ den. She nodded awkwardly to Spiketail, who sat in his normal position. Petalpaw stood in place, looking across the camp at the nursery. Appledusk once again was playing with the kits, now batting a mossball around for them to chase. Though all three now wore expressions of delight, their terror when Petalpaw attacked Appledusk flashed across the apprentice’s mind. She cringed, not eager to face the kits or Reedshine right now. She let her paws guide her towards the apprentice’s den, but when she tried to duck through the entrance, she collided nose-to-nose with Perchpaw.

“Ow!” he grunted. “Watch where you’re going!”

“Not my fault you stand around like a great big rock all the time,” Petalpaw bit back. It felt like she was always running into Perchpaw, sometimes literally. Didn’t he know to keep out of the way? 

Before her irritating denmate had the option to respond, she stalked past him and slumped into her nest, feeling glum. She tossed and turned for a bit, but couldn’t get herself to sleep. She raised her head to see Perchpaw still sitting at the entrance to the den. He looked out at the camp, in the direction of the nursery, with narrowed eyes. Petalpaw recognized jealousy in the dark tabby’s eyes as he scowled disapprovingly; the same jealousy he frequently flashed at Petalpaw when she got praise from Darkstar. 

Petalpaw felt a flash of sympathy for the dark tabby. He didn’t get any attention from his mother, and now his mentor was ignoring him too. Petalpaw suddenly felt very grateful for Reedshine, and doubly embarrassed when she remembered Reedshine’s expression when she attacked Appledusk. 

I hope she won’t be angry with me, Petalpaw thought. It’s Appledusk’s fault anyways. I wouldn’t be so defensive of the kits if he weren’t such a lousy father to me!

Petalpaw cast one last glance at Perchpaw.

It seems like we’re both not too happy with Appledusk right now.

Chapter Text

Petalpaw crept through the undergrowth, keeping her senses alert. Deep in the throes of leaf-bare, snow coated the ground, stinging her paws with cold. A canopy of reeds and the occasional short, bare-branched tree stretched overhead, though there wasn’t any sunlight to protect her from; the sky remained dull and gray, threatening a new layer of snow. But Petalpaw knew the weather would begin warming again soon; Leaf-bare only lasted for so long, just like all the other seasons. 

Petalpaw inhaled deeply, steadying herself on her paws. She angled her ears forward; could it be? 

Squirrel! She thought to herself excitedly, picking up the faintest trace of prey-scent. Squirrels were a rare treat in RiverClan territory; the tree-dwelling creatures typically stuck to ThunderClan’s well-forested land. Finding one here, this deep in leaf-bare, was for sure a stroke of good fortune. 

Tracking in the snow was no easy task; but Petalpaw excelled at it, above her water-loving clanmates. Though brief, her time in the ThunderClan nursery playing tracking games with her now-deceased littermates gave her a head-start, and a knack for the skill that many RiverClan-born cats lacked. Instead of trying to scent the squirrel through the snow, Petalpaw snuffled through the reeds and on the trunks of trees, carefully following the trail as it grew stronger. Biting down a sting of grief, Petalpaw tried to not imagine what it would be like if Larchkit and Patchkit were with her, tracking prey through the snow the same way they would track each other through the ThunderClan camp.

 Then, as if StarClan could sense she was about to become distracted by her own emotions, Petalpaw spotted the foolish squirrel, its gray-brown pelt barely standing out from the trunk of a beech tree. She lifted her tail, checking to make sure she was downwind from the prey. Then, she crept forward, keeping her belly low and her tail straight out behind her, until she was within pouncing distance. She bunched her muscles and leapt, batting the squirrel from the tree trunk to the snowy ground. The creature was stunned by the blow, and Petalpaw took the opportunity to sink her fangs into its neck, quickly dispatching the prey. 

“Thank you StarClan, for this prey!” She breathed, bowing her head with respect, before picking up the squirrel. She had three other catches; two water voles and a mouse, to pick up from their hiding spots and bring back to camp. 

“Excellent work, Petalpaw!” Petalpaw jumped as her mentor emerged from the undergrowth. She’d been so fixated on tracking the squirrel, she didn’t even think to check if anything was tracking her ! Thankfully, Reedshine hadn't taken Petalpaw's recent outburst too harshly; the queen was also not pleased at Appledusk's blatant favoritism for his fully-RiverClan kits. Still, though, Petalpaw still felt embarrassed for acting out so rashly, and she wanted to do her best to make up for it with her hunting.

“Th’nks,” Petalpaw mumbled around the prey in her mouth. “I’ve got some more prey buried nearby. Can you help me carry it?”

Reedshine purred, her tail curling up with pride.

“Of course! The more prey, the better, especially in leaf-bare. The river is so frozen right now, The Shallows are just about the only place we can fish!” Reedshine mewed. Petalpaw shivered. She’d been fishing there a few times, but never had much luck; hunting land-prey always came to her easier, in spite of all her time spent in RiverClan. 

“I wonder how much prey Perchpaw caught?” Reedshine wondered aloud. The dark tabby apprentice, and his mentor Appledusk, were out hunting as well; Darkstar said it was their mid-apprenticeship assessment. Well, more so for Petalpaw than Perchpaw, who was younger than the tom, and also apprenticed late. But Darkstar said it’d be good for her to get an idea of both cats’ skills, so she instructed both of them to hunt for most of the day. Petalpaw suspected her ulterior motive was to get the fresh-kill pile stocked, since it was looking dangerously low as of late. 

Petalpaw and Reedshine backtracked along Petalpaw’s path, stopping to unearth the three other pieces of prey, before circling back to camp. By the time they arrived, Petalpaw’s belly was grumbling with hunger, and it took all her willpower not to bite into the squirrel that dangled from her jaws. 

“Woah, is that a squirrel?!” The dark ginger form of Shykit seemed to be waiting right at the entrance for the two cats when they returned to camp. Her green eyes sparkled with admiration, and a little bit of hunger. Every cat in camp looked hungry these days, even with RiverClan’s above-average hunting. No cat seemed particularly bothered by it though; they kept insisting it was still better than two leaf-bares ago, when the river froze so thoroughly that RiverClan nearly starved. The clan held out the first moon or so by dislodging fish frozen into the ice; but when those fish ran out, it was only through gracious aid from WindClan and ShadowClan that the RiverClan cats managed to survive.

“Oakstar was deputy at the time,” Echosnout had told Petalpaw, when the apprentice inquired with her about the hunger. “He and his leader, Seedstar, were determined to show ThunderClan’s strength and resolve. They insisted RiverClan be left to starve.” 

Typical Oakstar, Petalpaw thought. The idea of letting another clan die off, even a clan that she was rivals with, chilled her to the bone. 

Petalpaw and Reedshine dropped their share of fresh-kill on the dwindling pile; only a few small fish, and one tiny, scrawny thrush. Perchpaw and Appledusk must not have returned yet. An upside of the cold weather was that prey kept good for longer; with no sun to spoil it, the little food they managed to find could be rationed. 

“Can we have the squirrel?” Shykit wriggled up between Petalpaw and Reedshine. “Pleeeeaaaaase?” 

Petalpaw turned to see Willowkit and Applekit following close behind her, all three flashing their biggest, saddest eyes at her. 

“Of course,” the deep mew of Darkstar replied before Petalpaw could. The leader must have heard Petalpaw and Reedshine’s return, and come to greet them from her den. “Kits, queens, and elders eat first, after all.” 

Shykit squealed with happiness and dragged the squirrel off the tiny pile. Reedshine purred with amusement, watching her three kits bound back towards the nursery with their meal, eager to share it with Eeltail, who waited at the entrance with a warm expression. 

“Reedshine, it seems Petalpaw hunted well,” Darkstar continued. 

“Absolutely!” Reedshine purred, eyes glittering with pride. “She caught that squirrel all on her own. I’ve never seen a catch quite like it, especially not in leaf-bare!” 

“It wasn’t that special…” Petalpaw mumbled, embarrassed. “I just got lucky.” 

“It will feed your younger sisters as well as Eeltail,” Darkstar mewed. “And I see you caught three other pieces of prey as well. Good job, Petalpaw, you have served RiverClan well today.”

The leader’s voice was unexpectedly warm, and she touched her tail tip to Petalpaw’s side affectionately. The apprentice merely nodded and mumbled her thanks, unsure of what to do with such high praise from Darkstar. 

Before Petalpaw had to think of a response, Appledusk and Perchpaw stumbled back into camp. Perchpaw was wet, his thick, fluffy fur weighed down like soaked moss. The edges of it had already began to freeze in the dismally cold leaf-bare breeze. The apprentice carried one single piece of prey; a tiny carp, barely larger than a minnow. 

“-And do as I say next time, you absolute waste of prey!” Appledusk snarled at his apprentice. He too was wet, but his shorter fur bristled along his spine, anger radiating off him in waves. The two toms stomped their way across camp, and Perchpaw spat the pathetic fish onto the fresh-kill pile, where even the tiny mouse Petalpaw caught looked huge by comparison. 

“Perchpaw,” Darkstar began evenly. “This is not an adequate catch.”

“Whatever!” Perchpaw snapped. Petalpaw could see him shivering under his thick, shaggy fur. It would probably take him an eternity to dry off in this cold, and Petalpaw didn’t envy him. 

“Don’t speak to your leader like that,” Appledusk chided his apprentice. Perchpaw flashed him a mutinous glare. “I ought to send you straight back out to hunt more prey, more land prey, like you were supposed to catch.” 

“No,” Darkstar interrupted. “I don’t want to risk any cat getting sick. Perchpaw, go to your den and dry off. I’ll send Eeltail to help you.”

Perchpaw curled his lip at the mention of his former foster mother. 

“I can do it myself,” he snapped. “I’m no kit.” 

“Very well,” Darkstar mewed. “Once you’re dried off, come straight back out here. I still need to assess you and Petalpaw on your fighting skills.” 

Darkstar then turned to Petalpaw.

“I apologize, you’ll have to wait a bit, for Perchpaw to dry off,” she shook her head. Her tone grew warmer and less stern as she spoke to Petalpaw. “Take one of those mice you caught and enjoy it somewhere warm. You earned it.” 

Petalpaw dipped her head gratefully, and picked up one of her mice from the fresh-kill pile. As she turned to go to the nursery, she caught a furious glare from Perchpaw, contempt plastered clear as day across his face. But she detected a glimmer of something else under it… envy?

“This squirrel is so yummy!” Shykit purred. Petalpaw, Reedshine, Shykit, Applekit, Willowkit, and Eeltail lounged together in the nursery, enjoying an unusually filling meal for leaf-bare. Shortly after Petalpaw brought back her catches, two hunting patrols returned; one with a load of fat mice from a nearby barn, and another with some fish found frozen in a small inlet upstream. The whole clan feasted for the first time in over a moon, with every cat having enough to eat. Darkstar insisted they all eat their fill, to regain their strength. With the ice so thick, ThunderClan could easily cross the river and attack, and all of RiverClan knew she didn’t want to take any chances. A fully fed clan stood the best chances of surviving an ambush. 

“Save some for your sisters,” Reedshine mewed gently to Shykit. Willowkit lounged on her side, drowsy from overeating, but Petalpaw noticed Applekit sitting quietly, staring at her paws. 

“What’s wrong, Applekit?” Petalpaw asked. “You look sadder than Perchpaw when he lets a trout get away.” 

“Nuffin’” Applekit mumbled, shuffling on her paws nervously. Reedshine leaned forward to lick her light brown kit on the head. 

“Are you sure, little minnow?” Reedshine asked. “You barely had any of the squirrel. Aren’t you hungry?”

“Umm… a little,” Applekit didn’t look at her mother. “M’okay though. I don’t want to eat.” 

“Hooray!” Shykit cheered. “More for me!” 

The dark ginger kit moved in to take a bite from the squirrel, but Eeltail gently brushed her striped tail between Shykit and the squirrel. 

“Hold on now,” Eeltail mewed softly. The queen turned to Applekit. “Applekit, you need to eat if you want to grow up and be a big strong warrior, like you always talk about.” 

Applekit looked up at Eeltail, and tipped her head to the side. 

“B-but what if I don’t get to be a big strong warrior? What if they make me be a queen in the nursery?” Applekit asked, her voice low and her eyes wide. Eeltail and Reedshine exchanged a glance, worry flickering across both of their faces.

“Why do you say that, Applekit?” Reedshine mewed carefully. 

“Um…” Applekit shuffled on her paws. “It’s nothing…” 

“Did someone say they would make you be a nursery queen?” Eeltail asked, her voice very serious. “Because you know, if any cat says something like that, you should always tell your mother or-”

“N-no,” Applekit mewed again, her voice growing so quiet, she seemed to shrink back into her fur. “It’s not important…”

“No way!” Shykit interrupted. “If it makes you that upset it’s important! Tell us what it is, so we can find out what it is and squish it!!” 

Shykit pawed at Willowkit, who jerked up from her food coma, blinking in a daze at Shykit.

“Wassit?” she mumbled, slurring her words together with grogginess. 

“Somethin’ made Applekit sad!” Shykit mewed. “We’re trying to figure out what it is!”

“Talking over her isn’t going to help, frog-brain,” Petalpaw mewed, rolling her eyes. “Let Applekit say what she wants to say.” 

Shykit fell silent, staring at Applekit intently, while Willowkit yawned, but did her best to angle her ears attentively towards her sister.

“I… um… Well..” Applekit looked at the floor, avoiding the gaze of all the other cats in the nursery. “I don’t wanna be a nursery queen… It sounds scary… B-but when I told Appledusk that, he got mad at me…”

“What?!” Reedshine and Petalpaw both exclaimed at the same time. Reedshine sounded more concerned than Petalpaw’s flash of anger, but both cats were equally taken aback. 

“He said that’s just what she-cats do,” Applekit’s voice was barely a whisper, and she stared at the floor. “But I don’t like it. I don’t want to do that.” 

The small kit trembled and sniffled, curling her short tail around herself. 

“Appledusk has all the brains of a half-dead water vole,” Petalpaw snarled. She felt anger flicker in her chest, and she flexed her claws into the cold, damp earth. “I’ll rip his ear off for that!”

“N-no!” Applekit squeaked. “I don’t want to get in trouble!” 

“You won’t get in trouble, Applekit,” Reedshine mewed. “I promise.” 

“Even if I don’t wanna be in the nursery? Ever?” she asked quietly.

“Of course, my little minnow,” Reedshine pulled her daughter close, licking the top of her head. “You never have to be a queen, if you don’t want to. That’s your own choice, and nobody else’s.” 

“Yeah!” Shykit barrelled into Applekit, rubbing her head against her sister affectionately. The two kits tumbled, and Applekit let out a delighted squeak. “And if anybody tries to make you be a queen me and Willowkit will show them what for!” 

Petalpaw noticed Eeltail flash a strange glance at Reedshine. The two queens seemed frozen for a moment, and Petalpaw had no doubt they were both being troubled by the same thought, some shared worry. But whatever it was, Petalpaw had no idea, and the young kits didn’t notice either, as they seemed to forget their worries, tussling happily on the nursery floor. 

The sun was beginning to set when Darkstar appeared at the entrance to the nursery, summoning Reedshine and Petalpaw. Both mentor and apprentice stood up and carefully stepped over Eeltail and the kits, letting them continue the deep slumber all five cats fell into after eating. Petalpaw shivered as she pushed through the curtain and into the chilly leaf-bare air. A sharp breeze blew through camp, ruffling her pelt and blowing a few fat snowflakes into her fur. 

“Rested up?” Reedshine mewed to Petalpaw. Both cats stood in the clearing, stretching the sleep from their limbs as Darkstar went to fetch Perchpaw and Appledusk. 

“S’much as I can be,” Petalpaw parted her jaws in a huge yawn. 

“Alright then, let’s get going,” Reedshine bumped against her apprentice affectionately. “No need to waste daylight!” 

Petalpaw and Reedshine made it to the Beech Copse before Appledusk and Perchpaw, so they began clearing the snow on their own in anticipation for the training session. To Petalpaw’s surprise, when the underbrush rustled, Darkstar herself trailed close behind Perchpaw and Appledusk.

“Darkstar?” Reedshine raised her eyebrows in surprise. “What brings you here?”

“I’d like to observe the assessment myself,” Darkstar mewed, sitting down at the edge of the hollow and curling her tail over her paws to keep them warm. Reedshine’s eyes sparkled with warmth. She walked over to her old mentor and touched her nose to the dark she-cat’s shoulder. 

“It’s good to see you getting out again,” Reedshine murmured, so quiet Petalpaw almost didn’t hear her. 

“I need to get back to overseeing all the apprentice’s assessments,” Darkstar replied. “It’s my greatest shame that I missed Birdsong, Tanglewhisker, and Troutclaw’s.” 

“Oh, don’t be so hard on yourself. You were-,” Reedshine flashed a glance back at Petalpaw, seeing the apprentice was still in earshot. “Well, it was a difficult time.” 

“Are we going to start or what?” Perchpaw trotted up beside Petalpaw, complaining loudly. His eyes were fixed on Darkstar, but she didn’t look back at him.

“You’re not the mentor, frog-brain,” Petalpaw huffed back. 

“So what?” Perchpaw bristled. “I just want to get this dumb fight over with so I can go back to my den. It’s cold out. It’s not like you’ll put up much of a fight anyways.”

“Apprentices!” Darkstar interrupted. “Let your mentors instruct you.”

“Perchpaw, Petalpaw,” Reedshine began, cutting off Appledusk, whose mouth opened as if he were about to speak. “You’ll spar until one of you pins the other for five whisker-twitches.”

“I expect Perchpaw will show the excellence of full RiverClan blood,” Appledusk put in quickly, looking at Petalkit disdainfully. Out of the corner of her eye, Petalpaw saw Darkstar flinch. 

“It’s not important who wins,” Darkstar mewed. “What I’m more interested in is seeing how you’re both learning the moves your mentors are teaching you.”

Petalpaw and Perchpaw both nodded. They trotted to the center of the beech copse, and began circling each other. 

“I hope you’re ready to lose to a real RiverClan apprentice, Drypaw,” Perchpaw muttered. Letting her anger lend her strength, Petalpaw snarled and lunged forward. But, instead of trying to barrel Perchpaw over like last time, she swiped a forepaw out, hooking one of his front legs and unbalancing him. He stumbled, hissing angrily, before leaping at Petalpaw. The light brown apprentice dodged to the side, letting Perchpaw’s own momentum unbalance him. 

I’m not big enough to knock him over with brute force, Petalpaw thought, assessing the massive tabby. But I could pin him if he does it himself…

The two apprentices traded coordinated blows, neither gaining nor giving ground. 

“Come on, Perchpaw,” Appledusk jeered. “Finish her!” 

Perchpaw snorted angrily, and Petalpaw felt a smug glimmer of satisfaction. She was holding her own much better than their last fight, where he flattened her easily. 

“Your full RiverClan blood doesn’t seem to be helping you much right now,” Petalpaw taunted. Perchpaw’s nostrils flared and he launched at her with his teeth bared. Excitement flashed in Petalpaw’s chest. In his anger, Perchpaw’s movements became uncoordinated and sloppy, and when she dodged to the side, he stumbled. Taking her chance, Petalpaw leapt onto Perchpaw’s back, being sure to hook her claws only into his pelt, and not his skin. Then, she lurched to the side, bringing her foe down with her. When they hit the ground, Petalpaw rolled and sprang up, planting a paw between Perchpaw’s shoulders. The dark tabby thrashed furiously, but he wasn’t able to throw off Petalpaw’s weight when he was pinned underneath her. 

“... Four…. Five!” Reedshine called out triumphantly. “Petalpaw wins!” 

Petalpaw stepped off Perchpaw, who jumped up and shook his pelt out wildly. 

“That’s not fair!” he snarled. “She taunted me and I lost my focus!”

“The tongue can be as effective a weapon as claws,” Darkstar mewed. “You should learn to control your temper, like Petalpaw has.” 

Perchpaw’s eyes flashed with anger as he glared at his mother. Petalpaw noticed that Appledusk was glowering at him, disdain in his eyes, while Reedshine bounded down the side of the hollow to touch her nose to Petalpaw’s. 

“Good job, Petalpaw!” she purred, her tail curling up. “You’ve improved so much, I’m so proud of you!” 

Petalpaw dipped her head, a bit embarrassed. 

“Training with Troutclaw helped,” she mumbled. “And you too, of course.” 

“You’ve been training with Troutclaw?” Appledusk curled his lip. “Group training… sounds like ThunderClan tactics.” 

“Yeah!” Perchpaw mewed, glaring at Petalpaw. “Half-clan traitor !”

“Different strengths make a Clan strong,” Darkstar mewed back evenly. “The same training techniques don’t work for every apprentice. Reedshine has done well adapting to Petalpaw’s needs.” 

Reedshine dipped her head now, mumbling a thanks to her former mentor.

“This is ridiculous,” Appledusk snapped, now turned on his apprentice. “You lost to a wretched, good for nothing half-clan traitor. If you get off tick duty within the next moon, you’ll be lucky!”

Petalpaw noticed that Appledusk was advancing towards Perchpaw, his eyes glittering with malice. The dark tabby stood defiantly, though, glaring back at his mentor. 

“Appledusk, leave him be,” Darkstar cut him off. Did she look concerned? “Perchpaw, despite his loss, showed a satisfactory understanding of the moves you have taught him. There is no need for punishment.” 

Perchpaw curled his lip at his mother, lashing his tail in frustration. Appledusk merely snorted in response, turning away from both his leader and apprentice.

“So be it,” he snapped. “Come on, Perchpaw, lets get back to camp. We’ll be training first thing in the morning so you can make up for this embarrassment.” 

Darkstar, Reedshine, and Petalpaw watched the two toms go, Perchpaw trailing behind with his tail low. Petalpaw couldn’t help feeling a bit uncomfortable at Perchpaw’s dejected posture as he climbed the side of the hollow. Once Perchpaw and Appledusk were gone, Darkstar looked at the ground and sighed, her eyes becoming unfocused and distant. Reedshine touched the leader’s shoulder lightly with her tail tip. 

“He’ll understand someday,” she mewed quietly. 

“I hope so,” Darkstar mumbled back, sounding distant. 

Somehow, Petalpaw knew they weren’t talking about Appledusk.

Chapter Text

Leaf-bare was waning; Petalpaw could feel it. She’d never lived through a warm season, being born in leaf-fall, but the cold grew milder with each passing night in the apprentice’s den. And when she visited the nursery to spend time with her mother and sisters, she was starting to find it stuffy rather than cozy. Soon, she figured, the space would become unbearably hot. Hopefully Shykit, Willowkit, and Applekit would be apprentices by then.

Blinking the sleep from her eyes, Petalpaw stepped out of the apprentices’ den and into the morning sun. It was a rare treat in leaf-bare; the sun breaking through the constant cloud cover and casting patches of light and warmth across the clearing. Petalpaw paused for a moment, letting the sun warm her pelt for the first time in what felt like moons. She arched her back, stretching until she felt her limbs tremble, splaying out her claws into the damp soil. Then, she sat down and began washing, letting the rare moment of peace envelop her. 

A moon had passed since her first victory against Perchpaw in sparring, with many training sessions following afterwards. The two apprentices were quite evenly matched in sparring now; when they traded blows, it was as good a guess as anybody’s who would come out on top. Darkstar frequently complimented Petalpaw on her progress, but she rarely saw the leader do the same for Perchpaw; she was still was barely able to meet her son’s eyes. 

“PETALPAAAAAAW!” A shrill squeak interrupted Petalpaw’s brief moment of respite; and a sopping wet bundle barrelled into her, knocking her over. Petalpaw stiffened feeling the water on her pelt, but the old fears didn’t bubble over; sparring wasn’t the only skill she’d progressed in over the last moon. As the ice on the river began to thaw, Petalpaw found herself more and more at ease in the water. She still didn’t like it, but she could at least swim across the river to Sunningrocks on patrols without losing her head. 

“Shykit, get off of Petalpaw! And shake out your fur, too!” Reedshine’s reprimanding mew approached Petalpaw, who now sprawled on the ground. 

“Oopsie, heheh,” Shykit giggled. She hopped off of Petalpaw and then gave her pelt a vigorous shake, flinging water droplets everywhere. Petalpaw groaned, hauling herself to her paws. Shykit stood nearby, bouncing on her paws excitedly. Willowkit padded up beside her, gray tabby fur clearly damp, but not sopping wet like Shykit was. Both kits had grown large and strong in the last moon, though Willowkit clearly had her mother’s build, being smaller than her sister Shykit. They still had more than two moons before they were old enough to train, but Petalpaw thought they were looking more and more like apprentices every day.

“Why do you two look like drowned rats?” Petalpaw asked. 

“We went SWIMMING!!” Shykit exclaimed excitedly. “I crossed the river for the first time!”

“Even after Reedshine told you not to,” huffed Willowkit. Petalpaw looked around.

“And where’s the third one?” she added in, noticing Applekit was missing. Shykit opened her mouth to reply, but a butterfly fluttered by, likely drawn out into the air by the rare warmth. Shykit and Willowkit’s eyes both dilated in interest, and they took off after the insect, leaving Petalpaw with no answer.

“She’s with Appledusk,” Reedshine finally reached Petalpaw, panting a bit. Petalpaw suppressed a growl, spotting Applekit and Appledusk over by the fresh-kill pile. She didn’t like that Applekit was spending so much time with Appledusk, especially after he upset the kit, but Reedshine insisted that Applekit be allowed to make her own choices. 

“I know, I know,” Reedshine shook her head. “I don’t like it either, especially after what he said to her about the nursery. But Eeltail and I had a discussion with Appledusk about it - he knows if he says anything like that again, I won’t let him spend time with the kits anymore.”

“What about Applekit?” Petalpaw asked.

“She says Appledusk apologized to her,” Reedshine mewed. Petalpaw scoffed.

“Think he’ll ever apologize to either of us?” she mewed grimly. Reedshine gave a wry purr.

“Doubtful,” the queen shook her head.

Both cats sat in silence for a few moments, letting the sunlight warm their pelts.

“Did Shykit really swim all the way across the river?” Petalpaw finally asked. She didn’t notice that the two kits had chased the butterfly back towards herself and Reedshine.

“Yes I did!” Shykit butted in.

“And back?” Petalpaw asked. Shykit huffed.

“No… Reedshine carried me back,” she admitted. 

“I told you not to swim so far!” Reedshine chided gently, bending down to lick Shykit’s head. 

“You should’ve stayed with me and Applekit!” Willowkit stuck her nose up. 

“Nuh uh!” Shykit mewed. She crouched down, wriggling her haunches. Then, without warning, she pounced on her sister, and the two kits squealed in delight, rolling around in the grass. When they came to a stop, they both bounced to their paws and took off towards the nursery, eager to continue their game. Petalpaw and Reedshine watched them go, Petalpaw feeling fondness in her chest for her younger sisters, despite the fact that her fur was now unpleasantly damp thanks to Shykit.

“Today’s awfully warm, isn’t it?” Reedshine mewed. “Makes me wish newleaf would hurry up and get here already.” 

“It was nice until Shykit got me all wet,” Petalpaw grunted, bending to lick the damp spots on her fur. 

“I can’t get her to shake when she gets out of the water,” Reedshine purred. “She’s so enthusiastic, she moves right on to the next thing without even stopping to think!” 

“StarClan help whoever gets her as an apprentice,” Petalpaw mewed.

“I’m sure they’ll do fine,” Reedshine touched her tail tip to Petalpaw’s side. “Her and her mentor.” 

Petalpaw rolled her eyes.

“I’ve already told you, Reedshine, mentoring seems as boring as pulling ticks off the elders,” she mewed. “I’m not cut out for it.” 

“I know, I know,” Reedshine sighed. “But your warrior ceremony gets closer and closer every day…”

“You really think Darkstar will assess me at twelve moons?” Petalpaw asked doubtfully.

“I don’t see why not,” Reedshine shrugged. “You’ve learned fast, and improved a lot. I can see you being ready in two moons, even if you started late.” 

“I’ve only been an apprentice for two and a half moons, though,” Petalpaw pointed out. “Can I learn everything there is about being a warrior in only four and a half moons of training?” 

“It’s not unheard of,” Reedshine mewed. “Darkstar will promote you when she thinks you’re ready for the responsibility of being a warrior.” 

Petalpaw kept licking her damp fur. She briefly wondered what her warrior name would be; what would Darkstar see most fitting for her? 

But in all honesty, what she was most excited for with warm weather approaching was the thought of being able to walk to the dirtplace without getting sodden paws from all the snow. Petalpaw gazed around the slush-laden camp, and her eyes fell on Applekit and Appledusk. The kit was talking with him, and from the looks of it, miming how she swam in the river earlier. Appledusk watched his daughter with a warm expression, and Petalpaw curled her lip in contempt. 

“Why’s Applekit always following Appledusk around?” Petalpaw mewed. “It’s like she’s his shadow.” 

“She looks up to him a lot,” Reedshine mewed. “She’s always going on about how she wants to be just like him, a big strong warrior.” 

“That’d be adorable, if it weren’t Appledusk she’s fixated on,” Petalpaw mumbled. “Maybe I can get her to follow Spiketail instead…”

“Speaking of,” Reedshine mewed, raising her head and looking around camp. “Where is Spiketail? He’s not sat outside Darkstar’s den.” 

“No idea,” Petalpaw yawned. “Patrol, maybe?” 

Before Reedshine could reply, a cat burst through the entrance to camp. Petalpaw recognized the pale silver fur of Splashfoot, bushed out to make the already large tom look twice his size. 

“AMBUSH!” he screeched, raising his head. “AMBUSH AT SUNNINGROCKS!” 

He dissolved into a fit of deep, gasping breaths, crumpling to the ground. Cats emerged from their dens with alarmed expressions, eyes trained on Splashfoot’s pale gray form. Troutclaw bolted out of the warriors’ den and lowered himself next to Splashfoot, resting his tail over the panicking tom’s back, speaking to him in a quiet voice. Darkstar emerged from her den almost immediately, bounding over to Splashfoot and Troutclaw. 

“Splashfoot, remember your breathing exercises,” Darkstar nodded to Troutclaw. “Take him to the medicine den, Echosnout knows what to do.”

As Troutclaw gently nudged Splashfoot to his paws, Darkstar flicked her tail, calling out to warriors in the camp.

“Rainfall, Milkfur, Duskwater, Reedshine and Petalpaw!” She mewed. “Come with me to Sunningrocks. Eeltail, stay here, and tell Troutclaw to help you defend the camp.” 

Eeltail nodded as the warriors gathered around Darkstar. Petalpaw’s chest clenched with anticipation as the leader called out her name. She’d never been in a true battle before, just sparring with Perchpaw and Troutclaw. But she didn’t have time to be nervous as Darkstar bounded for the camp entrance, leading the patrol out into RiverClan territory. They bolted straight for the river and streamed out into the water towards Sunningrocks. Petalpaw clenched her teeth as she slid into the frigid current, kicking out to cross the gap to the highly contested collection of flat stones. Her belly flip-flopped as they came into view, and she could already hear screeching and hissing cats. Hauling herself out of the river, she shook her fur out as quickly as possible, something the other RiverClan warriors didn’t stop to do. Sure enough, as Petalpaw scaled sunningrocks, she saw Spiketail, Tanglewhisker, and Birdsong locked in a fight with a ThunderClan patrol, badly outnumbered. The RiverClan reinforcements let out howls of fury, flinging themselves into battle with the ThunderClan patrol. Petalpaw, overwhelmed by seeing her clanmates in danger, didn’t think twice; she unsheathed her claws and pelted for a dusky brown she-cat who had Birdsong’s hind leg in a nasty grip. The ThunderClan warrior was smaller than Petalpaw, so using all of her weight, she barrelled into the pair of she-cats. 

“Watch it, drypaw!” Birdsong screeched as all three cats went tumbling in a flurry of claws and teeth. But the blow surprised the ThunderClan warrior, and she let go of Birdsong’s leg, allowing the gray tabby to wriggle away and disappear into the throng of cats with a snarl. Petalpaw and the ThunderClan warrior went tumbling over the side of Sunningrocks, into the slush piled up on the ThunderClan forest side. Petalpaw tussled with the brown she-cat; she may have the size advantage, but this warrior was clearly experienced. Eventually, though, Petalpal managed to roll the she-cat over and pin her. She hooked her claws into the ThunderClan warrior’s pelt and delivered a nasty bite to her shoulder. The she-cat howled in pain.

“Harepounce!” A gray tabby ThunderClan warrior leapt down from the rocks, getting between Petalpaw and Harepounce, the dusky-brown ThunderClan she-cat.

“I’m fine, Stagleap,” Harepounce mewed through gritted teeth. For the first time, she seemed to get a good look at Petalpaw.

“Hey, aren’t you Mapleshade’s-” she began, but Petalpaw lunged forward, battering Harepounce with her claws. Stagleap tackled Petalpaw from the side, but when he tried to pin her, he wasn’t nearly heavy enough. Petalpaw heaved the gray tabby off with her hindlegs, flinging him into the rocks and stunning him.

“Stagleap!” Harepounce cried out, dashing over to his side. With both opponents distracted, Petalpaw took the opportunity to clamber back up onto the rocks, where the fight continued. A scratch stung on her flank, where Harepounce must have tagged her while they were wrestling. Through the throng of cats, she spotted Birdsong battling against a sickeningly familiar cat - huge, glossy brown tabby fur, piercing amber eyes…

Oakstar. 

Petalpaw hadn’t seem him since the leader tossed her family out of ThunderClan. Her belly filled with dread as she took in the sight of the ThunderClan leader. Memory hadn’t distorted him to a frighteningly massive size; he truly was as broad as a badger. He grabbed Birdsong by the neck and flung her aside, towards Petalpaw. The apprentice leapt out of the way and caught sight of something she didn’t remember. A new, massive scar on Oakstar’s throat; deep, bright red, and only just healed. 

“This will teach you to not sneak around on ThunderClan’s territory!” he roared. Birdsong scrabbled at the rock, trying to escape, but Oakstar pounced for her, slamming her against the hard surface, dazing the gray tabby. Time slowed as he parted his jaws, leaning down towards Birdsong’s throat.

He’s going to kill her! Petalpaw thought in a panic. No matter her quarrels with Birdsong, she wouldn’t stand by and let a clanmate die. She bunched her muscles and sprang for Oakstar before his jaws could meet in Birdsong’s neck. She didn’t hold back like she did in training; she hooked her claws as deep into his skin as she could manage through his thick fur. He was huge; much huger than Perchpaw, but Petalpaw lurched to the side anyways, causing the massive leader to stumble. He spat in rage, bucking wildly, trying to throw Petalpaw off. Before they went down, Petalpaw caught a glimpse of Birdsong, looking at her with wide, bewildered eyes. Did Petalpaw see a hint of respect? 

In Petalpaw’s brief moment of distraction, Oakstar shook her off and Petalpaw  saw stars as he slammed her into the hard rock surface. When their gazes met, his eyes widened in shock.

“ You!” he shrieked. “You’re one of Appledusk’s wretched spawn!” 

At her father’s name, Petalpaw pulled her lips back into a snarl, lurching her hindlegs up to batter Oakstar’s belly.

“Stay away from my clanmates!” Petalpaw spat back. She did her best, but his heft was too great, and she couldn’t get him off. He raised a paw to swipe at her face with claws, but he shrieked in pain before he could land a blow. He twisted and kicked out his hindlegs, giving Petalpaw room to wriggle out. She saw Birdsong, her jaws latched onto Oakstar’s heel. Petalpaw blinked in surprise; the gray tabby warrior was defending her, in spite of them never truly seeing eye to eye. 

“Go for his forepaw!” Birdsong hissed through gritted teeth. Petalpaw nodded, and when Oakstar raised his paw to swipe for her again, she leapt and gripped his pads in her teeth, biting down until she felt the warm tang of blood on her mouth. Oakstar thrashed, sending both RiverClan she-cats tumbling. Petalpaw’s vision swam with pain from the impact as she struggled to stay focused on Birdsong and Oakstar. In a blind rage, the ThunderClan leader leapt for Birdsong and didn’t hesitate; he parted his jaws. Petalpaw’s heart lurched, sure that Birdsong was a goner. But the gray tabby writhed in fear, and at the last moment managed to shift enough that Oakstar missed and bit down on her shoulder.

As Petalpaw struggled to keep her eyes focused, she blinked, and suddenly a dark gray blur was howling with rage, battering Oakstar with long, vicious claws. 

“Leave Birdsong alone, you coward!” Rainfall shrieked. The dark gray warrior had appeared, seemingly out of thin air, to defend his former apprentice. He gouged his claws along Oakstar’s flank, ripping into the soft flesh underneath his thick fur. Oakstar yowled, and went back for Rainfall, clamping his jaws down hard around the RiverClan warrior’s neck.

There was a sickening crack that seemed to reverberate around Sunningrocks, and Petalpaw’s belly dropped in fear. Rainfall’s shriek of pain was cut off before it even began. And when Oakstar let the RiverClan warrior go, Rainfall slumped to the ground, blood pouring from his neck. His body convulsed a few times, and then he lay still.

“RAINFALL!” Birdsong shrieked fearfully as she bounded over to her former mentor. She began nudging him desperately with her nose, but the tom didn’t move. Her own shoulder wound dripped red, blood flowing onto the rock and mixing with her mentor’s. 

“Oakstar!” Petalpaw heard the unmistakable commanding yowl of Darkstar. Slowly, all of the fighting cats quieted; Darkstar disentangled herself from an unkempt black ThunderClan she-cat and strode, stiff-limbed in rage, towards Oakstar. The warriors of both RiverClan and ThunderClan backed off, letting the leader pass. 

“This battle has gone too far,” Darkstar’s mew dripped with malice, a rage Petalpaw seldom saw the leader express. Her eyes were as bright and angry as a bolt of fire, and her tail whipped back and forth. 

“Your warriors never should have set paw on Sunningrocks,” Oakstar snarled back. The two leaders began circling each other, all the warriors backing off, watching wide-eyed with anticipation. 

“This was a cowardly attack,” Darkstar spat. “My warriors were in our own territory, resting. Attacking them with such a large patrol is the sign of a foul leader. Your ancestors would be ashamed.” 

Oakstar yowled and flung himself at Darkstar. The brown tabby had a clear size advantage, but Petalpaw was truly amazed, watching Darkstar dodge and weave around him as if she were swimming through the air. She lashed out with precise, masterful swipes, taking out chunks of Oakstar’s fur and marring his skin before he could even turn to see her do it. Seeing Darkstar fight for the first time, fueled by the ferocity to protect her clan, Petalpaw knew without question she was fit to be leader.

“Your warriors are weak hearted and soft!” Oakstar taunted, lashing out a paw at Darkstar. “If Rainfall could not defend himself, he deserved to die at the paws of ThunderClan!”

Darkstar snarled, her eyes blazing. In a ruthless flash, she hooked out a paw, unbalancing Oakstar and sending him crashing to the ground. Somehow, as if the strength of all StarClan flowed through her veins, she held the massive leader down firmly against the blood-stained Sunningrocks, dipping her head low, right next to his throat. 

If she bit him, she would take one of his lives! Petalpaw thought, wide-eyed. She glanced around, seeing the rest of the warriors, ThunderClan and RiverClan alike, too shocked to react; this was business between two leaders, and nobody wanted to interfere. 

“If you ever harm my warriors in a frivolous battle again,” Darkstar’s mew was almost too quiet to hear. Her claws dug into Oakstar’s skin, blood pooling around her paws. “I will drag every life out of you like I drag the entrails out of a fish.” 

The two leaders stayed frozen for a moment, and Petalpaw could fell the tension in the air. Darkstar could still go in for a bite; but would she? 

Rainfall is already dead… Petalpaw spared a glace towards the senior warrior’s crumpled body, Birdsong hunched next to him, her frame shaking. Even if Oakstar deserves it, taking one of his lives would spur on more aggression from ThunderClan. Who else could we lose if that happens? 

After what seemed like an eternity, Darkstar eased herself off of Oakstar, allowing him to stand up.

“Go,” Darkstar mewed through gritted teeth. “Take your warriors back to your camp. Now.” 

Oakstar sneered at her, but Petalpaw could see several bloody wounds on the tom from his battle with Darkstar, and he held one hindleg off the ground in a nasty limp. He knows he’s beaten. 

“ThunderClan, retreat!” he called out, and turned to leap off the flat top of Sunningrocks. One by one, the ThunderClan cats followed him, flashing teeth and claws at the victorious RiverClan cats as they went. They flowed down the side, disappearing into the dense underbrush of their forest territory. As the enemy patrol vanished, the afternoon quieted until the only sounds in the air were the chattering of the river and Birdsong’s low, quiet whimper. Darkstar walked over to her, and touched her tail to the she-cat’s side. 

“Come,” Darkstar mewed, all the ferocity from her voice gone. “We mustn’t linger here. There will be time to grieve back in camp, where Echosnout can check everybody’s injuries.” 

Birdsong looked up at the leader, her eyes wide and miserable. She looked completely and utterly lost, like her whole world was collapsing around her. To Petalpaw’s own surprise, she found herself stepping forward.

“I-I’ll help you carry his body,” she mewed, her voice trembling. Her head still hurt and the scratches and bruises all along her flank stung, but she still wanted to help.

“Me too,” a shaggy tabby tom, Tanglewhisker, stepped out of the crowd. He nodded to Petalpaw, his eyes grave and serious. She blinked in surprise, all the former animosity between her and the young warriors seemed to evaporate instantly. Without sharing another word, Petalpaw and Tanglewhisker hoisted Rainfall’s limp body between them, and began the arduous journey back to camp. 

It was hard to sit through Rainfall’s vigil. Birdsong huddled at his side, shaking and trembling like the night of her warrior vigil, when some unknown force attacked her and she’d run straight to her former mentor for safety. The clan licked Rainfall’s wounds clean, covering the scent of blood and death with fragrant herbs. 

“H-he was the best mentor I could have ever asked for,” Birdsong mumbled when she was finally coherent enough to speak. Her eyes glistened with raw emotion, and she could barely choke the words out. Petalpaw didn’t know who Birdsong’s parents were; the she-cat didn’t seem to have any family around. And since she was so close with Rainfall, Petalpaw guessed her old mentor was the closest Birdsong had to kin. Momentarily, Petalpaw imagined a world where Reedshine was taken from her, and quickly she felt like everything would collapse around her. Shivering, Petalpaw pressed herself against her adoptive mother. She couldn’t imagine losing somebody so important. 

“We didn’t always see eye to eye,” Voleflight spoke next, stepping forward. The small, broad-shouldered warrior blinked emotion from his eyes. “But Rainfall was an honorable warrior who cared for… for everybody. I’ll always cherish the time we had together, and I’ll never forget him.” 

Voleflight’s voice broke, and he fell silent. Petalpaw remembered that the brown tabby had once been Rainfall’s mate, and her heart clenched for him. He bowed his head, sitting as still as a stone next to Birdsong’s trembling form. One by one, cats from RiverClan stepped forward and shared their own stories, celebrating Rainfall’s life as he began to make his journey to StarClan. Petalpaw tipped her head back and gazed at the stars. She wasn’t a very spiritual cat, but she could only hope that Rainfall walked among their ancestors now. Petalpaw set her jaw with determination. She would do everything in her power to make sure RiverClan didn’t lose any more cats in battle. 

Chapter Text

The sun shone high in the sky, the last of the leaf-bare snow melting away under its bright gaze. The ice on the river receded until it was a mere whisker thick, giving RiverClan cats access to their most plentiful prey source once again. Bird calls and flowers returned to the greenery surrounding the river, which swelled as the melting snow slowly tricked into it.

“On your right! No, your other right, frog-brain!” Petalpaw called out in frustration. She pounced across the Beech Copse, ducking away from a sheathed claw-swipe by Troutclaw. From the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse of two other cats, a flurry of fur and flailing paws as they rolled across the ground. The four young cats were split into teams for a mock-battle, Petalpaw and Tanglewhisker versus Troutclaw and Birdsong. 

“Petalpaw’s right,” it was Birdsong, who now held Tanglewhisker flattened to the ground, her nose barely a whisker-length from his, a teasing tone in her voice. “You are a frog-brain.”

Great StarClan, Petalpaw rolled her eyes as she heard a purr rise in Tanglewhisker’s throat. In the single moment Petalpaw’s attention lapsed, the great bulky form of Troutclaw slammed into her and sprawled her flat on her back, all the breath knocked from her chest. She tried wriggling her paws to haul him off, but he kept her pinned firmly in place

“That’s match. Birdsong and Troutclaw win!” Reedshine called out from the side of the Beech Copse. She flashed a teasing look at Tanglewhisker and Birdsong. “And for the love of StarClan, you two, this is battle practice, not a walk around fourtrees.” 

Sitting next to Reedshine, the sleek black form of Darkstar gave an amused purr. Both she-cats were overseeing the group training session; a new daily activity for almost all warriors since tensions with ThunderClan exploded at Sunningrocks. Appledusk and Perchpaw were invited as well, but Appledusk refused, saying group training was for ThunderClan, not RiverClan. Darkstar allowed him to continue training alone, but she still kept close tabs on Perchpaw’s progress.

“Today’s session went very well,” Darkstar mewed. “All of you are in proper fighting shape, in case ThunderClan tries to ambush us again.” 

The leader curled her claws into the damp ground. Half a moon had passed since Rainfall’s death at Sunningrocks. Birdsong was starting to recover from the loss of her mentor; spending time with Tanglewhisker helped lift her spirits, Petalpaw noticed. The two young warriors were getting awfully close; just a few nights before, she heard Eeltail and Reedshine gossiping in the nursery about wether they or Troutclaw and Splashfoot would become mates first. 

Yeck, Petalpaw thought, sticking her tongue out as she got up from the ground. Mates are so sappy with each other. If I had a mate…

She never thought about it much; she was only an apprentice, after all. The idea of having another cat by her side for life was appealing, but the actual courting seemed so embarrassing. No cat in particular caught her eye either, and even if one did, there’s no way she’d turn into a puttering, mushy mess for another cat’s approval. 

“The prey is running well today,” Darkstar continued, whisking her tail. “We should all make a catch before returning to camp.” 

“Oooh, let’s go to The Shallows!” Tanglewhisker suggested. “Maybe play a game of trouts and minnows?”

“What are you, a kit?” Birdsong rolled her eyes, bumping against him affectionately. 

“That sounds fun!” Troutclaw mewed. “I could find a new rock for Splashfoot!” 

“Very well,” Darkstar mewed, nodding to the group. “Be back with prey before sundown.”

The leader stretched and began climbing the side of the hollow, heaving herself over the side and disappearing into the undergrowth. Reedshine watched her go, before turning to Petalpaw.

“Want to hunt with me?” the queen asked. “We could check over by the barn again-”

“Hey Petalpaw!” Troutclaw called. “Wanna come with us to The Shallows?” 

Petalpaw looked between the warriors and her mother, feeling momentarily torn as well as surprised at Troutclaw’s invitation. She’d never had two groups of cats wanting to hang out with her at the same time. Reedshine just purred, brushing her plumy tail along Petalpaw’s spine.

“Go have fun,” she mewed. “You’ve earned it. I’ll head to camp and see how the kits are doing. You can tell me all about your adventures when you get back!” 

Petalpaw nodded and dipped her head gratefully, touching noses with Reedshine. Waving her tail in goodbye to her mother, Petalpaw then turned to bound over to the group of warriors, as Reedshine turned to follow after Darkstar.

“Oh look, the deputy of darkness is joining us for once!” Birdsong mewed. Once, there may have been a sneer in such a remark from her, but now her tone was light and playful, the same way she would tease her friends. 

“Don’t get your fur in a bunch,” Petalpaw mewed back. “Reedshine needs to go check on the kits anyways.” 

“They’re getting so big!” Troutclaw mewed, eyes wide. The four cats began scaling the shallow sides of the hollow, in the opposite direction of Darkstar and Reedshine, who were headed back to camp. “How long until their apprentice ceremonies?”

“Two moons? Maybe?” Petalpaw shrugged. “It’s not my job to keep track of that frog-dung.”

“Oooh, don’t let Reedshine hear you use language like that,” Tanglewhisker teased. “You might get tick duty with the elders again.” 

Petalpaw reached over and cuffed the tabby lightly on his ears, mrrow ing in amusement. All four young cats had grown close, from training together every day. They followed the well-worn path from the Beech Copse to The Shallows, letting the sun warm their pelts when they stepped out from under the shelter of the reeds. The ground was no longer unpleasantly cold, and they saw many more insects flitting about than during the cold months.

“I’m so glad Leafbare is over,” Birdsong mewed. “I can’t believe we have to go through that every season-cycle!” 

“You remember last leaf-bare though, don’t you?” Troutclaw asked, tipping his head. Birdsong, who was a few moons older than the other two toms, parted her jaws in a huge yawn.

“It’s easier to spend it curled up in the nursery, frog-brain!” she mewed. “The warriors’ den isn’t nearly as warm.” 

“The curtain Reedshine and Petalpaw wove helps, though,” Troutclaw pointed out. “Keeps the cold breeze out for those of us sleeping near the entrance.” 

“Petalpaw helped make that?” Tanglewhisker put in, eyes wide. All 3 warriors glanced at Petalpaw, who felt some embarrassment prickle under her pelt. 

“Yeah,” she mewed, looking at the ground. “When I was a kit, anyways. Reedshine did most of it though, I’m kind of lousy at weaving.” 

“I wish my mentor showed me how to weave reeds,” Tanglewhisker rolled his eyes. “No, all Voleflight ever wanted to do was build den walls!” 

“You still have to weave for those, don’t you?” Petalpaw asked, tipping her head. She recalled the dens of RiverClan camp, with all the pretty baubles adorning the outsides. Even after all her moons in RiverClan, it still felt strange to her that the dens were so beautiful. In ThunderClan, if it didn’t have an actual purpose, it had no place in the Clan. 

“The outside, yeah,” Tanglewhisker mewed. “It keeps the rain out. But there’s a stronger under-layer, made of thicker sticks and branches, that holds up the reed covering. Especially in the nursery, which has extra-thick walls. It’s kind of woven, but not nearly as intricately as the reeds.” 

“Huh,” Petalpaw mewed. “I guess I never looked closely enough at the dens to notice that.”

“Hey, we’re here!” Troutclaw interrupting, bounding forward and disappearing through the reeds. Petalpaw, Birdsong, and Tanglewhisker pushed forward after him, emerging onto the familiar pebbly beach of The Shallows. A warm breeze rustled Petalpaw’s whiskers, and she suppressed a purr of delight. The group didn’t make it far before Petalpaw locked eyes with another cat, who looked like a vole caught by a hunting patrol, a pretty, shiny rock clamped in his jaws.

“What are you doing here?” Perchpaw mewed defensively, spitting the rock out. His fur was sopping wet and he had a few rocks piled up on the beach, at his paws.

“We’re going to play trouts and minnows,” Troutclaw replied. “Want to join?”

Perchpaw fixed the cats in a stern glare, his eyes flicking between Petalpaw and the three young warriors. 

“No,” he mewed gruffly. “Games are for kits.” 

“Says the cat collecting rocks,” Petalpaw snapped, feeling a flicker of annoyance. Perchpaw’s wet fur spiked along his spine.

“I was not!” he snarled defensively. “You’re all a bunch of frog-brains. Playing games? Darkstar would have your tails.”

Petalpaw caught Birdsong and Tanglewhisker exchanging a glance.

“Darkstar knows we’re here,” Troutclaw mewed awkwardly. “She said it’s fine as long as we bring back prey.”

Perchpaw lashed his tail.

“Whatever!” He snapped. He quickly paced past the three young cats, being sure to shove past Petalpaw as he disappeared into the reeds. He left the small pile of rocks behind, not turning back to glance at it.

“Great StarClan,” Birdsong muttered. “I almost miss how annoying he was as a kit.” 

Tanglewhisker nudged Petalpaw.

“He’s acting more and more like you every day, eh?” he mewed playfully. Petalpaw pulled away from him, flattening her ears.

“I am nothing like Perchpaw!” she snapped, feeling hot around the ears. 

“Ah, but that’s how Perchpaw would respond,” Troutclaw pointed out. From his tone, he clearly meant for this to calm Petalpaw down, but she felt irrational anger instead.

“He’s like that because he’s so busy sucking up to Appledusk!” Petalpaw spat. “I’d never be that frog-brained, wasting my time trying to please such a brain-dead piece of crowfood.” 

The three young warriors looked shocked. 

“But Appledusk is…” Troutclaw began.

“My father?” Petalpaw scoffed. “Who cares? After how he treated me, and Reedshine, and even Mapleshade, I’m embarrassed to be his kin.” 

“At least you know your father,” Birdsong shot back, looking upset. Tanglewhisker leaned against her, and Petalpaw knew the gray tabby must be thinking of Rainfall, the closest she had to a parent of any kind.

“C’mon,” Troutclaw interjected. “We’re here to have fun. It’s a beautiful day, and nothing’s gone wrong. Let’s try to keep it that way, hm?” 

Petalpaw lashed her tail, but tried her best to quell her rising anger, knowing it’d be best to control her temper. 

“Yeah,” she forced herself to say. “It’s… pointless to argue about things we can’t change.”

Birdsong fixed her in a long, hard glare. Then she dipped her head and whisked her tail.

“You’re right,” she mewed back, sounding a bit embarrassed. “Sorry, Petalpaw. I guess I should know what it’s like to not have a father who’s there for you.” 

“Oh he’s there for me alright,” Petalpaw rolled her eyes. “To remind me how much he hates me.” 

“Am I allowed to laugh at that?” Troutclaw mewed, purring. “Because it’s funny, but also kind of sad!” 

“Yeah, it’s kinda funny I guess,” Petalpaw replied, suddenly feeling a bit lighter. She’d never thought of it from that angle before. “That a grown cat spent so much of his time letting a kit know how much he didn’t like her.” 

Birdsong, Tanglewhisker, and Troutclaw all purred with amusement. 

“You’d think he was the kit and you were the warrior, not the other way around!” Tanglewhisker pointed out. 

“At least my father wasn’t there to make me feel awful,” Birdsong put in, her shoulders shaking with laughter. Petalpaw felt her lips spread in a grin, laughing along with the other RiverClan cats. 

“I’m sorry too, by the way,” Petalpaw added in, when she finally caught her breath. “For making you upset.” 

Birdsong rolled her eyes.

“Eh,” she shrugged. “I was bein’ sensitive. No harm done.” 

Petalpaw felt the last remnants of her anger fizzle away, and she lifted her tail in a friendly gesture to the gray she-cat. 

“C’mon,” Birdsong suddenly mewed, bounding forward towards the water. “What’re we waiting for?”

The four cats leapt into the shallow water, yowling in delight. Even Petalpaw found herself less weighted down by the unpleasant wetness of the river, chasing her clanmates around in the shallows just as she’d watched them do when she was a kit. 

When it was Petalpaw’s turn to be the trout, she leapt for Tanglewhisker, trying to hook her claws into his pelt. Nimbly, he dove underwater, pulling himself along the riverbed and popping up a few tail-lengths away as Petalpaw threw up a dazzling wall of droplets with her landing. Petalpaw then went after Birdsong, who was hovering a small ways out into the river. Petalpaw crouched down, wriggling her haunches. Instead of leaping up, she remembered how Tanglewhisker avoided her, and dug her claws into the riverbank, propelling herself forward. Birdsong, surprised by Petalpaw’s speed, yowled in alarm as the two cats collided. Cool water enclosed Petalpaw, sunlight sparkling through the agitated surface. Fighting down her instinctual panic, Petalpaw looked around. The sandy bank fell away beneath her, where the river deepend until it was more akin to a pond. Sunlight dappled the floor, and the noise of her clanmates was dampened by the water surrounding her. 

It’s kind of peaceful down here, Petalpaw thought. I almost like it… Then, something caught her eye. Down at the bottom of the river, sunlight glinted off a hard, shiny surface. Petalpaw’s eyes widened as she recognized it. 

The shell Reedshine threw out here, when I was still a kit!

Feeling her lungs burn, Petalpaw flailed her paws clumsily; even with her fears conquered, she wasn’t nearly as graceful a swimmer as most RiverClan cats. She burst through the surface of the river, taking in a deep breath as she worked her paws through the water, paddling back towards the riverbank. 

“You okay?” Troutclaw mewed. His eyes were wide with concern. “You were under there for a while.”

Petalpaw blinked, realizing all three cats were gazing at her. They must be remembering her fear of the water.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she mewed quickly, feeling a little embarrassed. Then, while the silence still hung in the hair, she took the opportunity to spring forward and tackle Tanglewhisker. 

“You couldn’t get away this time, slippery eel!” Petalpaw taunted. Now Birdsong, Tanglewhisker, and Petalpaw were all trouts; the last remaining minnow, ironically, was Troutclaw. The three cats turned their gaze on him mischievously, and he shrieked in delight as they gave chase. 

Eventually, all four cats were panting with exhaustion, their limbs aching from the exertion of swimming all afternoon. The sun was beginning its descent, and with a small pile of fish kept under the shade of the willow tree, they were ready to head back to camp. 

“Petalpaw, you coming?” Troutclaw called. Petalpaw stood on the riverbank, looking out at the water. 

“Not yet,” Petalpaw mewed. “I’ve got one last piece of prey to catch.” 

Petalpaw slid into the water, letting the chill envelop her as she paddled out to the center of the water. From the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of the three young warriors standing on the beach, exchanging perplexed glances. Petalpaw heaved a deep breath, and plunged downwards. 

She could still see the shell, but she underestimated just how deep the water was in this part of the river. As she kicked downwards, the silence and darkness began to squeeze her, and pressure built in her chest and ears. But she pushed onwards, until her paws met the sandy bottom of the river. She clasped the shell in her jaws and pushed off the ground as hard as she could, rocketing herself back towards the surface like an otter. By the time she burst back into air, she felt as though her lungs were going to explode. 

“Petalpaw, what in StarClan’s name are you doing?” she heard Birdsong call from the riverbank, but Petalpaw didn’t respond, taking her time to paddle back to the group. She finally pulled herself out of the river and shook out her pelt, gingerly placing down the large snail shell. 

“It’s for Reedshine,” Petalpaw breathed. She felt exhausted, taking deep gulps of air and letting her heart slow down from the exertion of swimming so deep. 

“That’s the biggest snail shell I’ve ever seen,” Troutclaw commented, sniffing it with interest. “You’re lucky I like rocks… I would’ve snapped that up moons ago if I collected shells!” 

Petalpaw bumped against him affectionately, and the young cats then began gathering up the small prey pile they’d accumulated, before heading back to camp. 

“Petalpaw!” Reedshine’s delighted mew rang across the clearing. She bounded over to her adopted daughter, then stopped a few paces away, her eyes widening with recognition. “That’s-”

“The Apple Snail Shell,” Petalpaw put it down, purring. “I figured it was about time I got it back for you.”

 Reedshine’s eyes glistened, and she leaned forward, touching her nose against Petalpaw’s.

“Oh Petalpaw,” she mewed, her voice thick with emotion. “You’ve grown so much. I’m so proud of the cat you’ve become.” 

Petalpaw felt her throat catch, love for Reedshine welling up in her chest. 

“You too, Reedshine,” Petalpaw mewed back. “You’ve been a better mother than any cat could’ve ever asked for, to me and the other kits.” 

Reedshine looked away bashfully.

“I’ll admit, it wasn’t easy at first…” she mewed, her voice quiet. “When I- well, discovering I was expecting Appledusk’s kits…”

Petalpaw thought back to the time she awoke in the nursery as a kit, hearing Reedshine sob to herself silently. It wasn’t the only time that happened, and each time Petalpaw’s heart would ache for the dark ginger she-cat. 

“It must’ve been hard,” Petalpaw replied sympathetically. She’d been too young at the time to truly understand the queen’s feelings; but reflecting on it now, she couldn’t imagine how afraid and alone Reedshine must have felt. 

“It was easier,” Reedshine replied. “With help from the kits’ amazing big sister.” 

Now it was Petalpaw’s turn to look away in embarrassment. Reedshine leaned forward, licking between Petalpaw’s ears. The queen could only accomplish that now if Petalpaw were ducking her head; the days where Petalpaw could climb into Reedshine’s nest and sleep in the crook of her belly seemed so far away now. 

“I’ll take this to the nursery,” Petalpaw mewed. “The kits will want to see it.”

“Of course they will,” Reedshine purred. “I’m off to see Darkstar in her den. I want to discuss with her who I’d like to mentor them. I won’t be gone long; we can all have some fresh-kill together after!” 

Petalpaw dipped her head to Reedshine, and then leaned down to pick up the shell. She trotted across the camp, ducking into the nursery. With the warmer weather, Reedshine had latched the curtain to the side with a spare reed, letting some breeze into the now-stuffy den. 

“-And in the end, it’s up to you,” Eeltail was mewing. She laid in the corner in her nest, speaking with Applekit, who sat attentively beside her nest. Shykit and Willowkit slept in Reedshine’s empty nest, their sides rising and falling rhythmically. Together, they almost spilled over the edge; Especially Shykit, who seemed to be inhering her father’s build. 

“Oh, hello Petalpaw!” Eeltail mewed as Petalpaw entered, keeping her voice low. “That’s quite a nice shell. Where’d you find it?”

“Long story,” Petalpaw replied, putting it down on the floor next to the nest where Shykit and Willowkit slept, gesturing to the two kits. “I’ll wait for them to wake up. Are you telling Applekit a story as well?”

Eeltail and Applekit exchanged a glance, and Eeltail nodded at the kit encouragingly.

“You can tell her, if you’d like,” Eeltail murmured in a low voice. “It’s up to you.”

“What is it?” Petalpaw asked. Applekit scuffed her paws on the ground nervously, not looking at Petalkit.

“U-um… well.. Eeltail says it’s okay, so…” Applekit started, her voice barely more than a murmur. “I wanna be a tom…”

Petalpaw tipped her head to one side.

“What do you mean?” she asked. 

“W-well… I don’t like being a she-cat m-much… And um… I don’t want to have kits or anything…” Applekit ducked her head, mumbling into her paws. “Eeltail said I could!”

Petalpaw, more confused than anything, looked to Eeltail for an explanation. The silver queen sat up, wrapping her tail around Applekit, who was trembling.

“It’s okay, Applekit,” she mewed quietly. “I’ve been talking to him. Applekit says he would be happier if we called him a ‘he’, and a tom.” 

“Oh,” Petalpaw mewed. “That’s a thing? Like, you can just decide to be a tom?” 

Eeltail gave a purr of amusement.

“Of course, dear,” she mewed. “Wether you’re a tom, a she-cat, or something else, it doesn’t matter. What’s most important is being kind, and loyal to your clan.” 

Petalpaw blinked, mulling over Eeltail’s words. It was new to her, but she supposed it made sense. Cats in the clans changed what they were called multiple times throughout their lives. Why was this any different? After all, toms and she-cats were warriors, with no huge distinctions between the two.

“Well Applekit, if that’s what you want,” Petalpaw mewed, leaning down and giving him a nudge with her paw. “Then I’m proud to say you’re now my favorite brother.” 

Applekit looked up at her, hope sparkling in his eyes.

“Really?” he mewed, his little body vibrating with a purr. 

“Of course,” Petalpaw replied. “You know all I want is for you, Shykit, and Willowkit to be happy!” 

“Thank you!” Applekit squeaked, bouncing forward and bumping his head against Petalpaw’s. She gave him a lick between the ears, purring. He sounded the happiest Petalpaw had ever heard him; and she knew instinctively that this was right. 

“Eeltail, you never told me she-cats could become toms,” Petalpaw mewed to the queen. She simply purred in amusement.

“I thought you’d figured it out on your own,” she replied playfully. “Sharing a den with me, and all!” 

“What?” You’re a tom too?” Petalpaw tipped her head. Eeltail just laughed. 

“I might’ve called myself one, seasons ago,” she purred. Petalpaw blinked with confusion, studying the silver queen. Slowly, the pieces started to fall into place.

“Oooh, so you’re like Applekit, but in reverse?” Petalpaw asked. “I didn’t know that. I guess I thought you smelled a little funny when I was a kit, but I figured it was just RiverClan stink. Now, you just kinda smell like Eeltail to me.” 

“You really are quite dense,” Eeltail chuckled. “Between this and your surprise about Troutclaw!”

Petalpaw whisked her tail, feeling a bit embarrassed. 

“It’s not my fault!” she mewed defensively. “This kind of stuff never happened in ThunderClan!” 

“Yes, Oakstar’s a real piece of work,” Eeltail replied. Petalpaw nodded; she couldn’t argue there. 

“Whassall the yowling about?” Shykit yawned, uncurling herself from her sister. She stood up and stretched, and Petalpaw noticed her sister’s kit-fluff was thinning, and she could now see muscles rippling beneath her sleek, shiny pelt. 

“Shykit! Willowkit!” Applekit scrambled over to the nest, bouncing on his toes excitedly.

“Woah, Applekit,” Willowkit replied. She parted her jaws in a huge yawn, slurring her words together. “Tha’s the loudest I’ve ever heard you!”

“I’m a tom now!” Applekit burst out, barely able to wait for Willowkit to finish talking. His sisters froze, blinking at him in confusion. 

“What?” Shykit asked.

“How?” Willowkit echoed. 

“Like Eeltail,” Applekit mewed. “She used to be a tom but now she’s a she-cat!”

“So you traded with her?” Shykit tipped her head on one side.

“Not quite,” Eeltail purred. “It’s like how your names will be changed to Shypaw and Willowpaw when you become apprentices. Except, Applekit has changed from being your sister to being your brother.” 

“Ooooooh,” the two kits mewed in unison. They seemed to accept it, both of their expressions brightening.

“That’s so cool!” Shykit mewed, bouncing. She crouched down and wriggled her rump, pouncing at her brother. “But I bet you still can’t beat me at frogs and flies!” 

“That’s the land version of trouts and minnows,” Willowkit explained to Petalpaw.

“I know, Willowkit,” Petalpaw replied, rolling her eyes playfully. “I played it too. But my littermates and I called it mice and foxes.” 

“What were your littermates like?” Willowkit tilted her head, eyes wide with curiosity. With a pang, Petalpaw realized how long it had been since she played with her own littermates; and how difficult it was now to remember specifics. Something caught in her throat, but she tried to not let it show.

“Larchkit was bossy,” she mewed simply. “And Patchkit was really shy. Applekit always reminded me so much of him.”

Willowkit was silent for a few heartbeats.

“I bet Applekit reminds you of him even more now that he’s a tom?” she asked. Petalpaw purred, flicking her tail over her little sister’s head.

“Yeah, I suppose so,” she mewed. 

“What about your mother?” Willowkit asked. Petalpaw froze.

Mapleshade. 

“I-” Petalpaw’s mouth went dry, trying to remember her mother’s last words to her. The memory replayed in her head as if she were transported back to that terrible day. She remembered hearing the oncoming flood, and shouting for her mother and brothers to look out. 

“Hold on! I’m coming!” Mapleshade screeched. 

And then, Petalpaw never saw her again. 

“She was brave,” Petalpaw replied. “She wanted the best for me and my littermates, even if it went against the Warrior Code.”

“Is she dead too?” Willowkit mewed. Petalpaw knew there was no malice in the kit’s heart, just curiosity, but Petalpaw could quickly feel herself becoming overwhelmed, wondering what became of her birth mother.

“I-I don’t know,” she finally managed to get out. “No cat has seen her since Darkstar exiled her.”

“Why did Darkstar exile her?” Willowkit asked. “Why couldn’t she stay here, with you?”

“Willowkit, that’s enough questioning,” Eeltail padded over. 

“But I wanna know!” Willowkit turned to the silver queen, her expression pleading. “Where did Mapleshade go?”

“We don’t know, little minnow,” Eeltail mewed gently. “Now, go play with your littermates, okay?”

Willowkit gave a huff, but soon enough she turned and hopped over to her littermates, asking to join their game. The three kits headed for the nursery entrance to go play in the clearing, where there was more room. Petalpaw watched them go, sitting in silence for several moments until she heard their squeals of delight.

“Are you alright?” Eeltail asked.

“Yeah,” Petalpaw grunted, feeling shaky. “I’m fine.” 

“You don’t sound fine,” Eeltail replied.

“It’s just weird,” Petalpaw mewed. “How even though it’s been so long, and I don’t think of them on my own as often, remembering Mapleshade, Patchkit, and Larchkit still makes me so… sad.” 

“Every cat’s journey is unique,” Eeltail mewed. “You just need to keep going forward.” 

Petalpaw parted her jaws to reply, when a yowl from outside interrupted their conversation.

“Eat crow-food, mange-pelt!” snarled the voice of Shykit. Petalpaw’s pelt prickled with alarm. She sounded actually angry, not play-fight angry. The light brown apprentice jumped to her paws and bolted out of the nursery, Eeltail right behind her. Shykit and Willowkit were standing on either side of Applekit, staring down Appledusk, who curled his lip in contempt at them.

“Mind your language, Shykit,” Appledusk mewed. “That’s no way to speak to your father.” 

“How could you say that to Applekit?” Willowkit added, lashing her tail. Applekit stared at the ground, his frame shaking. Petalpaw felt dread in her belly; she already had a sneaking suspicion of what happened. Appledusk’s eyes flicked up to Petalpaw and Eeltail, and his fur spiked with rage.

“You!” Petalpaw braced herself, but her father wasn’t looking at her; instead, his emerald gaze bore straight into Eeltail. “You’re poisoning my daughter’s mind with your… your delusions!” 

“If you can’t accept your son for who he is,” Eeltail mewed evenly, all the usual warmth from her voice gone. “Then that’s your problem, not mine.” 

“My daughter will not grow up thinking she’s a tom!” Appledusk snarled. “This is why I told Darkstar you should never have been trusted with kits! You’re corrupting them!” 

Petalpaw flattened her ears and bared her teeth. Eeltail was careful to keep her composure, but Petalpaw could see her striped tail trembling. 

“Shove off, you worthless piece of crow-food!” Petalpaw stepped up next to Eeltail, baring her teeth at her father. “Eeltail is one of the most valued members of our clan. How dare you talk to her like that?” 

Appledusk glared at Petalpaw, lashing his tail in anger.

“Of course you think this is all okay,” he spat. “I can’t believe Darkstar lets the Clan waste prey on you.” 

“What is going on here?” Darkstar interrupted the argument. She hurried across the clearing, accompanied by Reedshine. The dark ginger queen saw Applekit huddled on the ground and rushed over to him, mewing to him in a hushed voice. 

“Eeltail is spreading… her… her curse… to the kits!” Appledusk spat. Darkstar furrowed her brow.

“Eeltail is not cursed,” the leader replied firmly. “What is this nonsense, Appledusk?”

“I was fine with her looking after the kits as long as Eeltail kept her delusions about being a she-cat to herself!” Appledusk exclaimed. “But now my daughter thinks she’s a tom!” 

Petalpaw saw Applekit shrink in on himself, his eyes wide with terror as other cats in RiverClan began to gather, peering curiously from their dens at the commotion. 

“Appledusk,” Darkstar warned the light brown warrior. “This behavior is unacceptable.” 

“Unacceptable? Unacceptable?” Appledusk looked taken aback. “What’s unacceptable is letting Eeltail stay in the nursery, depleting our prey and poisoning our kits!” 

Petalpaw pressed herself against the silver queen protectively. 

“Eeltail has done no such thing,” Darkstar growled. “Appledusk, I am disappointed in you. This is not the kind of behavior I’d expect from my warriors. Your cruelty has no place in RiverClan.”

“So, what? You’re exiling me?” Appledusk snarled back, unsheathing his claws. Petalpaw saw Reedshine stiffen, glancing at Darkstar with clear worry on her face. Shykit and Willowkit pressed close to Applekit, eyes wide in terror. 

“No,” Darkstar mewed, her tail twitching angrily. “But you can go make your den outside the camp until you’re ready to treat your clanmates with respect.” 

Appledusk stared at her, his jaw gaping. Then, he clenched his teeth, folding his ears back angrily.

“Fine, Fine!” he snapped. “I knew you’d side with Eeltail anyways - especially since you’re such a foul mother yourself!” 

Darkstar flinched as Appledusk whipped around, stalking towards the camp entrance. Petalpaw noticed that Perchpaw was crouched in the entrance to the apprentice’s den, watching his mentor leave, expression unreadable. 

“Applekit! Applekit, are you okay?” Reedshine nudged her son, who was hunched forward, not saying a word. Darkstar looked a bit overwhelmed, not sure which of her clanmates to approach first. She finally strode forward to speak with Eeltail. 

“I’m sorry,” Darkstar mewed. “What Appledusk said was way out of line.” 

“It’s okay,” Eeltail replied quietly, her voice soft and vulnerable. “It’s not the worst any cat has said about me, anyways…” 

“If you need some quiet time, you can go sleep in Echosnout’s den. If she protests, tell her I sent you,” Darkstar mewed. She touched her tailtip to Eeltail’s side. “What Appledusk said is untrue. You are as valued as any member of this clan. I would never have made it through Perchpaw’s early moons without you. Thank you, Eeltail.” 

Eeltail ducked her head, mumbling a quiet thanks to the leader. Petalpaw felt like she should say something as well, but she didn’t want to intrude, so she simply watched Eeltail walk to the medicine den and disappear inside. Darkstar padded to Reedshine and her kits next. 

“No, Applekit, it’s okay,” Reedshine was cooing quietly to him. “I promise, Applekit, it’s okay, there isn’t anything wrong with you.” 

Applekit looked up as Darkstar and Petalpaw approached, his eyes widening at the sight of the leader.

“A-am I going to get banished? L-like Appledusk?” he wailed in fear.

“We won’t let you do that!” Shykit puffed out her chest, pressing close to her brother’s side. Willowkit moved closer as well, hissing at the leader.

“Yeah, and if you try it-” she began.

“Applekit, you have no reason for fear,” Darkstar mewed, her voice surprisingly gentle. She bent down, so her face was even with his. “All cats are welcome in RiverClan. Our differences are what make us strong. That is what the great Riverstar taught, when he founded our Clan. As long as you are kind and loyal, you belong here.” 

“R-really?” Applekit asked. 

“Of course,” Darkstar replied. “You are already a strong tom, and will be just as strong a warrior one day. You will always have a place in RiverClan.” 

Applekit offered a weak purr, but Petalpaw could see he was still shaking. 

“I’ll never let Appledusk near the kits again,” Reedshine whispered, voice full of despair. “Oh, Applekit, I’m so sorry. I was so foolish…”

“What, for expecting him to do the bare minimum?” Petalpaw mewed, curling her lip. “That’s Appledusk’s fault, for being a massive piece of crow-food. Not yours.”

“Yeah!” Shykit agreed. “We don’t wanna be near him anymore anyways!” 

“M-mhm!” Willow nodded. “C’mon Applekit, let’s go back to the nursery!” 

Applekit looked at his sisters gratefully, and the three kits padded back towards the entrance of the nursery. Reedshine watched them go, her eyes glittering with sorrow. 

“I know it’s hard,” Darkstar mewed in a low voice, sounding much more vulnerable than normal. “And sometimes you feel like you’re making all the wrong choices. But Applekit will be okay, with you there to support him.” 

Petalpaw glanced back at the apprentice’s den, where Perchpaw was still watching. He caught her eye for a moment, before curling his lip and disappearing back into the darkness. Petalpaw lingered on Darkstar’s words for a moment.

If all cats are welcome, then what about Mapleshade? 

Petalpaw shook her head, trying to push the thought away. What’s done was done, and there wasn’t anything Petalpaw could do to change it. Instead, she turned to Reedshine, who still looked rife with worry.

“If it’s worth anything to you, Reedshine,” Petalpaw mewed. “I wouldn’t want any other cat to be my mother. Even Mapleshade. If… if I could undo the accident in the river, I wouldn’t. Not if it meant losing the moons I’ve spent with you.” 

Reedshine looked taken aback, her eyes glistening with emotion. She leaned forward, in a gesture Petalpaw had come to recognize by now. But this time, Petalpaw was quicker, and she licked between Reedshine’s ears, offering her mother back the comfort that she had always given to Petalpaw. 

Chapter Text

“Get up, lazy-bones,” Petalpaw grunted. She stood over the sleeping form of Perchpaw; the large dark tabby apprentice sprawled on messy, unkempt bedding. He was basically full-grown now; his apprentice-sized nest squashed flat beneath his bulk.

“Mrrrphh,” Perchpaw groaned, twitching his paws. “Go’way, Drypaw…”

“I can swim now, remember?” Petalpaw reminded him. “So you’ve gotta find a new insult.”

Perchpaw groaned again, raising his paws to cover his small ears. 

“I’ll knock over your rock pile,” Petalpaw added. She saw Perchpaw stiffen, and then sit bolt upright.

“I don’t have a rock pile anymore,” he snapped. Petalpaw could see the lump of his favorite rock, still hidden beneath his bedding. Perchpaw caught her eyes flickering towards it, and drew his tail in defensively. 

“Y’know, with Appledusk gone, you don’t need to hide your dumb rock,” Petalpaw rolled her eyes. 

“I’m not hiding anything,” Perchpaw replied. 

“Uh huh,” Petalpaw grunted. “Whatever. We’re going to be late for training.” 

Petalpaw padded out of the apprentices’ den, standing in the camp clearing. Still quite early in newleaf, the air was chilly, and some nighttime frost prickled at Petalpaw’s pads. The sun hung low, slowly beginning its climb into a crimson, blood-colored sky. It cast slanting, golden shafts into the camp, and Petalpaw knew before long it would drive off the night’s chill. Petalpaw arched her back, sprawling out her claws and kinking her tail upwards. 

“Red sky,” a voice grunted nearby. Petalpaw jumped; it was unusual for cats to be awake at this time. The dawn patrol would have already left, and the apprentices usually awoke earliest to prepare for their training. But to Petalpaw’s surprise, the graying old form of Blackbee sat in a honey-colored patch of sunlight, her head tipped upwards.

“Red sky?” Petalpaw questioned, tipping her head. The normally-silent elder swiveled her head as slow as if it were made of stone; fixing Petalpaw in her green gaze. Her pupils were large and unfocused, her eyes glassy. Petalpaw knew from her time working in the elders’ den that RiverClan’s oldest cat was hard of hearing and could barely see, so she was sure to speak loudly and clearly. 

“A red sky in the morning,” Blackbee croaked, her voice brittle and quiet. “Is a bad omen. The last time this happened… An entire Clan was driven from the forest.” 

Ah. This again. Petalpaw thought. Whenever she did speak, Blackbee was full of inane stories; probably age driving her mad. But there was little purpose arguing with the frail old elder; she was as stubborn as ever in the idea that there had once been a fifth clan. 

“I’m sure that was very upsetting,” Petalpaw mewed carefully. Blackbee closed her eyes, nodding solemnly. 

“I can only hope this red sky is not for the cats of RiverClan,” Blackbee croaked. Then, she settled her head back down and closed her eyes, dozing in the warmnig rays of morning sun. Petalpaw tried to dismiss her warning; but she couldn’t shake a deep-seated unease that wormed its way into her belly. 

“As you know,” Darkstar began. “Both of you are nearing the age of a full warrior.”

The leader sat in a clearing beside Reedshine, gazing at Petalpaw and Perchpaw. However, the leader often kept her gaze away from her son, opting to focus her piercing, blue gaze on Petalpaw instead. Despite this, Petalpaw felt Perchpaw swell up with anticipation next to her. 

“We will be assessing your land-hunting skills today,” Reedshine continued seamlessly from her former mentor. “It is not your final assessment, but I still want the both of you to hunt as if it were.”

Reedshine took over tutelage of Perchpaw a quarter-moon ago, after Appledusk was sent to make his den outside camp. Darkstar opted to have the two apprentices train under the same mentor since Reedshine proved herself such a competent teacher, and they were both so close to earning their warrior names. In the first few days, Perchpaw was stubborn, refusing to cooperate with his new mentor. But Reedshine reminded him that the more he cooperated, the faster he would become a warrior, and he begrudgingly began to listen to her. Petalpaw also noticed that the dark tabby sometimes went missing at night; likely visiting Appledusk, she guessed.

“Why land-hunting?” Perchpaw asked. “The river isn’t frozen anymore. We don’t need to hunt land prey. We’re RiverClan. ” 

“What do you think will happen next leaf-bare, frog-brain?” Petalpaw mewed to him. He shot her an angry glance, before Darkstar answered.

“Keeping your skills sharp is one of the most important parts of being a warrior,” she mewed. “You will be tested on land hunting in your final assessment as well. I suspect you’re eager to pass it, or would you like to spend another six moons as an apprentice?” 

Perchpaw grumbled assent, looking down at his paws.

“Now, I want you both to hunt in the area between here and WindClan’s territory. Do not trespass, and try to not to interfere with each others’ hunting. You’ll have until sunhigh, to bring back as much prey as you can. Land-prey only .” 

Petalpaw felt excitement in her pads. The last few days were all fishing tests, and the light brown apprentice swore that she could still taste the slimy creatures in her jaws. No, it’d be good to catch something and wash that awful feeling away. Not wanting to waste a moment, she bounded off into the reeds, then quickly dropped into a crouch, creeping through the greenery until she was a good distance from her mentor and fellow apprentice. 

Petalpaw halted and fell as silent as possible, angling her ears to listen for prey. The only sounds were the distant chatter of the river and a light breeze rustling the leaves. After a few moments of careful listening, she decided there wasn’t any prey nearby. She turned toward the border with WindClan territory; sometimes she got lucky and a rabbit hopped the small stream separating the two Clans. When Petalpaw was able to scent hints of the peaty, acrid WindClan moorlands, she turned and began tracking parallel to the border, keeping her nose low to the ground and ears pricked for any unusual sounds. She wasn’t close enough to hear the border stream just yet, but she knew that any prey attracted to drink from it would be easily identifiable. 

Then, Petalpaw’s ear twitched, picking up the faintest rustling sound. Something small; not nearly as meaty as a rabbit, but a piece of prey nonetheless. Petalpaw lifted her tail slightly, to test the wind. She suppressed a purr of delight; it was flowing away from the direction of the sound, putting her downwind from her prey. Lowering her belly to the ground and creeping forward, Petalpaw stalked the small creature. Finally, she happened upon it; a water vole, plump from feeding on seeds in all the newly exposed greenery. Petalpaw crept forward, letting her paws fall softly on the damp ground. When she was close enough, she bunched her legs under her and sprang forward, dispatching the water vole with a single bite. She quickly thanked StarClan for the prey and kicked earth over it, eager to continue her hunt.

The day wore on, Petalpaw keeping an eye on the sun as it tracked across the sky. When it was just about overhead, the light brown apprentice had caught four pieces of prey, definitely enough to impress her mentor. She was backtracking, retracing her steps to unearth her catches, when something made her freeze.

“Who are you?!”

That sounds like Perchpaw, Petalpaw thought. Did he follow me?

Petalpaw angled her ears, trying to determine where her denmate was. It seemed like he was closer to the border. 

“H-hey!” he yowled. “Get off of me!” 

There was a very faint rustling, and Petalpaw’s belly dropped. It sounded like two cats were struggling with each other.

Is it a WindClan patrol? She thought. I thought we were allies with them. Why would they attack Perchpaw? 

Petalpaw ditched her trail, and bounded into the reeds, angling her ears to listen for the fighting cats. She tried to keep silent; if it were a WindClan patrol, an ambush would be her best bet to scare the invading cats off.

But just as Petalpaw drew close to the sounds of hissing and grunting, she heard another voice, just through the clump of reeds ahead of her. Deep, ragged, and hauntingly familiar.

“Keep still or I’ll rip your throat out,” it snarled. Petalpaw felt cold dread pool in her belly. 

This is no WindClan patrol. 

Steeling herself, Petalpaw bushed out her fur and bared her teeth, leaping through the reeds and out into a clearing. It took all her strength to not falter at the scene that awaited her. Standing over Perchpaw and pinning him to the ground, an enormous paw driving his muzzle into the dirt, was a cat Petalpaw had not seen in moons, but at the same time, a cat she could never forget . A mountain of tortoiseshell fur, with orange as bright as fire and black as dark as night.

Mapleshade.

Mapleshade’s head snapped up from Perchpaw’s ear, eyes blazing emerald fire. The moment she locked eyes with Petalpaw, her nostrils flared in anger.

“APPLEDUSK!” Mapleshade roared, with a voice so furious, it took all of Petalpaw’s resolve to not turn and run. But she planted her paws firm, ready to face the impending threat. She expected Mapleshade to talk, but the tortoiseshell launched herself off of Perchpaw, barrelling straight towards Petalpaw. Too shocked to react, Petalpaw was caught in Mapleshade’s furious claws, and the two rolled over and over until they came to a stop, Mapleshade slamming Petalpaw into the ground and knocking all the breath out of her chest. She glared down at the apprentice, her eyes wide and wild, lips pulled back into a snarl. Petalpaw recoiled away from Mapleshade’s rank breath as it bathed over her. The furious rogue raised an enormous paw, unsheathing long, vicious claws already stained dark brown with blood. But before she dealt the blow, Mapleshade hesitated.

“You’re not Appledusk,” she suddenly spat. Some of the fire died from her eyes, but she kept Petalpaw pinned firmly to the damp, muddy ground. Petalpaw didn’t know how to respond; and even if she did, she doubted she would be able to. Mapleshade’s heft threatened to crush all the breath out of her, and fear kept her from trying to wriggle free. 

What has happened to my mother? Petalpaw thought.

“Get off our territory, rogue!” came Perchpaw’s sudden snarl. To Petalpaw’s surprise, the dark tabby apprentice came to her defense, barelling into Mapleshade’s side and knocking her off balance. As soon as Mapleshade’s weight shifted, Petalpaw wriggled herself loose and thrust her hindlegs upwards, using the momentum granted from Perchpaw’s attack to heave Mapleshade to the side. Petalpaw and Perchpaw both quickly scrambled to their paws, springing away from the stunned rogue and forming rank. Mapleshade snorted wildly, her eyes flashing in rage as she hauled herself up.

“Where is he?” Mapleshade spat, seemingly talking to no cat in particular. “I needed the fat idiot’s mentor, not this useless shadow of him!” 

Petalpaw flattened her ears in rage. 

“I am not a shadow of my father!” she growled. Mapleshade’s eyes flickered with confusion, and she squinted, looking closer at Petalpaw. 

“Who do you think you are?!” Perchpaw demanded, lashing his tail. “Invading our territory and making demands like this?”

“I am Mapleshade,” the tortoiseshell rogue spat, extending her claws and hooking them into the muddy earth. Petalpaw noticed that two of them were missing, with fresh blood oozing from the clawbeds, as if she’d lost them recently. When Mapleshade said her name, Perchpaw let out a frustrated hiss.

“Of course!” he snarled, turning on his fellow apprentice. “Petalpaw, this is your fault. You brought her here, didn’t you?”

“What?!” Petalpaw demanded, turning to him. “I didn’t even know she was still alive-”

“Petalpaw?” Mapleshade interrupted. The tortoiseshell’s eyes were wide, staring at her daughter. 

“Er… Hello, Mapleshade,” Petalpaw awkwardly greeted her mother. She kept a defensive posture, though, worried the rogue might pounce again. But Mapleshade just padded forward, as nervous and slow as a kit approaching their leader, and began sniffing her daughter over. Perchpaw snarled threateningly, but held his position. 

“Is it really you, Petalkit?” Mapleshade mewed so quietly, she was almost whispering. “My precious little kit?”

Petalpaw was taken aback at how quickly Mapleshade’s tone changed; in an instant, all her rage was gone. Her eyes no longer blazed like a raging inferno, but instead flickered with the warmth of a loving mother.

Maybe it was a misunderstanding, Petalpaw thought, feeling a sudden surge of hope. Maybe we can be together again!

“Y-yes,” Petalpaw stammered nervously. 

“You’re alive?” Mapleshade asked. She pushed her muzzle forward, touching it to Petalpaw’s, as if she thought the apprentice might evaporate into thin air.

"Yes,” Petalpaw replied, more confidently this time. Mapleshade broke into a purr, her eyes welling up with emotion. Petalpaw couldn’t help it, she began to purr in unison with her mother.

“Oh my stars… I… I did it!” Mapleshade cried. “Petalkit, I did it!” 

Petalpaw tipped her head, her purr faltering.

“What do you mean?” Petalpaw asked.

“Oh Petalkit, my precious baby, my plan worked! Where are your brothers? Where are Patchkit and Larchkit?” she asked. 

Petalpaw exchanged an uneasy glance with Perchpaw. 

“What are you blabbering about?” Perchpaw demanded. Mapleshade’s head snapped to look at him, her green eyes narrowed. But she continued, not letting the apprentice’s tone dissuade her.

“I have completed StarClan’s holy mission,” she mewed, her tone silky. She tipped her head back, gazing at the sky. “By cleansing the wrongdoers from this life, I have brought back my beloved kits!” 

Petalpaw stared at her mother, unease worming its way into her belly. 

“Mission?” she asked. 

“Oh, dear Petalkit,” Mapleshade mewed, her voice breaking with emotion. “I followed your directions. The cats who denied you of your life are gone!”

Petalpaw began to back away from her mother. She felt as though a block of ice had been dropped into her belly. 

Is she saying-

“Ravenwing and Frecklewish,” Mapleshade’s eyes glistened. “I dealt with them, just like you told me to. But where are Larchkit and Patchkit?” 

“Murderer!” Perchpaw yowled, putting the pieces together faster than Petalpaw could. He screeched with fury and leapt forward, knocking Mapleshade over. The tortoiseshell rogue howled with rage, both cats rolling over and over in a flurry of claws and teeth. Petalpaw sprang after them, trying to aide Perchpaw in the struggle and ignore her own trembling limbs. Mapleshade threw her off, again pinning Perchpaw to the ground. She dug her claws into his skin until he whimpered in pain. Then, she looked up, gazing at Petalpaw, her eyes pleading.

“Please, Petalkit,” she mewed. “My precious, beautiful baby. You promised if I followed your orders, we would be together forever. And here you are, returned to me in the flesh. Please, Petalkit! Come here, come to me, come be with your mother again. Just like you told me you would!” 

Petalpaw stared at her, mind whirling. 

My mother is a murderer. 

Mapleshade looked absolutely out of her mind, her eyes wide with desperation as she begged Petalpaw to come with her. And for a moment, Petalpaw considered it. Would she be happy, reunited with Mapleshade? There was no way Darkstar would let her join RiverClan now, not after the revelation that she killed two cats, and tried to kill Oakstar. But maybe the two could be happy, away from the Clans, even without Patchkit and Larchkit. Maybe things could be the way they were in the ThunderClan nursery, when she played games with her littermates and snuggled up against her mother, not having to worry about who judged her for her blood. Didn’t she miss that? Didn’t she still love her mother?

But then, the moment passed, and Petalpaw thought of Reedshine. All the days and nights she’d spent with the dark ginger queen, in the nursery watching over the kits, comforting each other when they were sad, training in the Beech Copse. Reedshine stayed by Petalpaw’s side, even though she didn’t have to, even though she was afraid of raising Appledusk’s kits. Reedshine wasn’t just a true friend, she was kin, even if not by blood. If Petalpaw went with Mapleshade, she would be leaving all that behind, to be with a cat who was a killer.

“I can’t,” she told Mapleshade, voice trembling. “I know who my real family is.”

“I did it for you!” Mapleshade cried, real hurt in her voice. “RiverClan stole you away from me! I am your real family, not those wretched fish-eaters!” 

Petalpaw felt a pang of sympathy for the tortoiseshell rogue, in spite of everything. There was truth to her words; Mapleshade was denied a fair chance to raise her kits. 

But couldn’t she have tried to come back? A voice nagged in Petalpaw’s mind. I’ve been patrolling the borders of RiverClan every day since I became an apprentice. Surely she would have scented me, or seen me, if she stayed nearby. She would’ve realized I’m still alive. If she was the one who attacked Birdsong, she was in our territory. Why would she immediately go for revenge, rather than trying to get her kit back? 

Doesn’t she love me?

“Petalpaw will never join you. She’s a loyal RiverClan cat!” Perchpaw grunted, interrupting Petalpaw’s train of thought. Petalpaw blinked in surprise. The tom was still pinned beneath Mapleshade’s paws, belly-down to the ground.

Does he really think that? Petalpaw asked herself, doubtful. Mapleshade’s eyes flashed with rage.

“RiverClan is full of traitors and fox-hearts and rogues, like that wretched Appledusk!” she snarled. 

“Appledusk is no fox-heart!” Perchpaw snapped back. “He’s a noble, loyal RiverClan warrior!” 

Mapleshade roared in rage. She rolled Perchpaw over and began tearing at his chest and belly with her claws. Petalpaw’s stomach dropped and she sprang forward, paws pounding the ground as she advanced on her mother. She tried to block out Perchpaw’s shrieks of pain as she leapt up onto Mapleshade’s back, hooking her claws into the rogue’s back as deeply as she could. Wasting no time, she executed her signature move; lurching to the side and bringing Mapleshade down with her. Perchpaw gasped in relief, his eyes wide as he shakily staggered to his paws. He turned towards the direction of camp, bounding forward and yowling out the beginnings of an alarm call. Mapleshade pounced after him, but she wasn’t quite fast enough, and her teeth snapped shut around his fluffy tail. The dark tabby’s alarm call turned to a yelp of pain, and Petalpaw expected Mapleshade to let him go, so she could take another swipe. But to her confusion, Mapleshade simply planted her paws wide, jerking her head back and bringing Perchpaw to a sudden stop, pinned in place by his tail. Petalpaw only grew more confused as Mapleshade dropped to the ground and rolled, keeping her jaws clamped around Perchpaw’s tail. Then, confusion turned to horror as Mapleshade, quick as lightning, sprang to her paws and jerked her head backwards violently. 

There was a sickening ripping sound and Perchpaw shrieked with pain, scrabbling forward on his paws, trying to pull away from Mapleshade. After a few agonizing heartbeats, he suddenly flew forward, faceplanting in the mud. Petalpaw thought for a moment that maybe Mapleshade let go; but her stomach roiled in fear as she realized Mapleshade held half of Perchpaw’s fluffy tail in her mouth. She spat the appendage out and it fell to the ground, leaving a coating of Perchpaw’s blood on the rogue’s once-white muzzle. Petalpaw felt the earth lurch beneath her as Mapleshade swiped her tongue around her jaws, lapping up Perchpaw’s blood. She turned her wild eyes to Perchpaw’s crumpled body, laid belly-down with his paws splayed out. Blood poured from his tail-wound, and his paws spasmed weakly. Mapleshade stalked towards him, her eyes flashing in a way that felt almost… hungry. As the rogue bunched her muscles to pounce again, Petalpaw didn’t think, she just sprang forward, barrelling into Mapleshade before the rogue could reach Perchpaw. When the two cats collided, Petalpaw and Mapleshade rolled over and over, battering each other with their claws and teeth. 

“You traitor!” Mapleshade howled in rage when they finally broke apart, circling each other. “You liar! How could you hurt me like this? You’re just as rotten as your father!” 

Petalpaw felt blood roar in her ears. 

“I am nothing like Appledusk! And Reedshine is a better mother than you could ever hope to be!” she spat. But Mapleshade caught the apprentice off-guard, springing forward and slamming her into the ground so hard that Petalpaw saw stars and pain exploded in her jaw, worse than she had ever felt in her life, like her whole mouth was made of fire. Her vision blurred from the pain, and she struggled to even see her mother standing over her.

Mapleshade lowered her head until her breath was mere whiskers away from Petalpaw’s ear. Her enormous forepaw held Petalpaw’s head down, claws digging into her muzzle. The apprentice’s belly churned in fear, worried her mother would kill her next. There was nothing stopping her; and Petalpaw realized that with Perchpaw down, she was well and truly on her own. 

“I am going to make sure you are always with me, little Petalkit,” Mapleshade mewed hungrily, her breath hot on Petalpaw’s ear. The apprentice allowed the ice-cold fear in her veins to lend her strength, and she managed to twist her neck, latching onto Mapleshade’s forepaw with a vicious bite. Mapleshade’s grip faltered and she howled with pain. 

“Petalpaw!” 

The reeds rustled, and through her blurred vision, Petalpaw caught a glimpse of two cats rushing into the clearing. As quick as lightning, Mapleshade’s weight lifted off her, allowing Petalpaw to stagger to her feet. With a flicker of delight she recognized Reedshine’s dark ginger fur, battling back the enormous tortoiseshell form of Mapleshade. And to her side, Appledusk crouched next to Perchpaw’s body, sniffing the apprentice furiously. Petalpaw dashed over to join him, feeling a flash of anxiety. 

“Is he-” Petalpaw began.

“He’s alive,” Appledusk mewed gruffly. Petalpaw sagged with relief. For once in her life, she was grateful to see her deadbeat father. He must have made his temporary den nearby, close enough to hear Perchpaw’s alarm call and go fetch Reedshine. “He’ll live if we can drive off Mapleshade quickly.” 

“APPLEDUSK!” Mapleshade roared. Both light brown cats whipped around to see Mapleshade fling Reedshine aside, the unstoppable fury from earlier reignited in her eyes. She charged at Appledusk and slammed into him so hard they both went rolling. Mapleshade clamped her jaws around Appledusk’s neck and shook her head violently; her intention was clear.

“Mapleshade!” Reedshine gasped, hauling herself up and bounding towards the two interlocked cats. “Stop it, stop! You’ll kill him!”

“That’s the plan, you mate-stealing fox-heart!” Mapleshade spat, momentarily releasing Appledusk from her jaws. 

“Let me go, you useless rogue!” Appledusk snarled, trying to kick Mapleshade off. 

“No!” Mapleshade slammed him down, roaring in his ear. “We were mates, Appledusk! I never should have let you out of my sight. I will never let you go again! We will be together forever!” 

Appledusk screamed in pain as Mapleshade lowered her head and sunk her powerful jaws into his shoulder. She clamped her teeth together and ripped a chunk of flesh out, chewing it like it was prey. Petalpaw’s belly churned with nausea and Reedshine gasped in horror. The dark ginger queen shot forward, building enough momentum with her small form to knock Mapleshade over, the rogue spitting out the chunk of flesh as she reeled from the force of the impact. 

“Mapleshade!” Reedshine cried out, her voice hysterical. “Stop this, stop it!” 

She sounded desperate, but there was a tinge of sadness to her words that Petalpaw recognized, from moons of closeness with her adoptive mother. 

“Mapleshade, I know that Appledusk hurt you!” Reedshine mewed, keeping the rogue pinned to the ground. She held Mapleshade’s forepaws spread wide next to her head, making it impossible for the rogue to wriggle free, even with Reedshine’s smaller size. 

“You stole him from me!” Mapleshade spat. “You stole him and you stole my kit!!” 

Reedshine’s eyes glimmered with grief. Petalpaw could hear Appledusk’s ragged breathing as he stood in place, trying to overcome the shock from his wounds.

“Appledusk and I aren’t mates anymore,” Reedshine mewed. “We haven’t been, since the day you were exiled. He lied to me just like he lied to you.”

For once, Appledusk didn’t interrupt. 

“Liar!” Mapleshade spat, lashing her tail wildly. “This is just another one of your tricks! Like how you tricked Appledusk into your nest, to steal him from me!”

“There are no tricks, Mapleshade,” Reedshine mewed. “I know how much it hurts to be betrayed like that. But I also know that you don’t have to let the hurt rule your life.”

The ginger warrior glanced at Petalpaw, who felt a flicker of warmth for her adoptive mother.

“You don’t have to be cruel,” Reedshine implored. “You can choose to be kind.” 

“There is no kindness left in this world,” Mapleshade spat, thrashing weakly, but Reedshine still held her down. “My enemies ruined my life. Why should I show them any mercy?”

“That’s exactly why you must be kind,” Reedshine begged. “This world is cruel. You were not dealt a fair paw, Mapleshade. But you are better than your lowest instincts. You have to act in absence of love, and create it yourself. You must break the cycle.” 

Mapleshade fell still, glaring at Reedshine out of the corner of her eyes. For a moment, Petalpaw caught something flash across the rogue’s face.

Pain.

Grief.

Despair. 

Mapleshade was a brutal murderer and a vicious rogue. But for a moment, that isn’t what Petalpaw saw. She didn’t see the teeth, the claws, or the blood. She didn’t see the hunger, the rage, or the brutality. All she could see was a grieving mother, a desperate cat whose entire life was ripped away from her. 

The whole clearing was so silent, Petalpaw could hear her own heart, hammering against her ribcage. 

“I found happiness after being hurt,” Reedshine mewed. She began to ease her weight off of the enormous tortoiseshell, who had gone limp. “You can too, Mapleshade.”

But as soon as Reedshine gave her the room to wriggle, Mapleshade’s fury returned. She lurched upwards, throwing Reedshine off. The dark ginger queen was dazed, and in an instant, Mapleshade was on top of her. Her head flashed downwards and she latched her jaws around Reedshine’s neck, biting down hard.

“NO!” Petalpaw screamed, shooting forward. Appledusk followed closely after, and both light brown cats barrelled into Mapelshade, knocking her off Reedshine. Appledusk went after Mapleshade with a flurry of paw-swipes as Petalpaw hunched down beside Reedshine, her whole body shaking. The sounds of Appledusk and Mapleshade battling grew quiet and dull in her ears as she gazed at Reedshine, the dark ginger warrior shuddering and gasping for breath as blood flowed freely from her neck wound.

“Reedshine,” Petalpaw breathed. “Please be okay. Please, Reedshine.”

“Oh Petalpaw,” Reedshine croaked, voice ragged. “You know I would do anything for you. You deserve the world. Everything you want. But I-I’m sorry.”

She broke off into a coughing fit, hacking up an unpleasant spatter of blood. 

“I can’t do that for you. Not this time.”

“No!” Petalpaw cried out. She felt dizzy, the world around her receding as she watched the life drain from Reedshine; the one cat who’d always believed in her, the cat who’d taught her everything, and somehow given her even more than that. “You can’t die! Shykit, Applekit, and Willowkit need you!” 

Petalpaw’s voice fell to a shaky whisper.

“ I need you,” she choked out. 

But it was too late. Reedshine heaved one last shallow breath, and lay still. Petalpaw scrunched her eyes shut and bowed her head, tensing her muscles so much it felt as though they could snap, her whole body shuddering with grief. She pushed her face against Reedshine’s fur and inhaled deeply; breathing in her scent so that she might never forget the loving embrace of her adoptive mother. 

Petalpaw’s grieving seemed to last for a hundred seasons, but she was broken from her trance by a dull thud behind her. She whipped around in time to see Appledusk’s large form crumple to the ground, covered in numerous gaping wounds, glistening bright crimson in the sun. Mapleshade strode toward him, eyes flashing with hunger. The rogue was limping now, after doing battle with four opponents on her own. Petalpaw glanced between her fallen clanmates, eyes landing back on Reedshine’s unmoving body. She felt a flash of rage hotter than fire envelop her chest, eating all the way out to her limbs, until her whole body burned and trembled with anger. 

“You took everything from me!” Petalpaw snarled at Mapleshade. “You’re a monster!” 

Petalpaw didn’t bother waiting for a response. She lunged forward, claws extended and teeth bared. She didn’t care if she died anymore; how could she go on without Reedshine?

There was no more room for words. Petalpaw slashed and hacked at the great tortoiseshell with all the fury and rage she could muster, battering her mother’s pelt, slicing into her flesh, tearing out clumps of fur with every ounce of strength she had left. Mapleshade matched her almost blow-for-blow, but the fight had taken its toll, and soon enough Petalpaw saw her chance. The rogue reared up, exposing her soft belly. But she leaned too far and stumbled, tired and worn from the battle. Petalpaw lurched forwards and clamped her jaw around Mapleshade’s neck. She bit down hard, harder than she had ever bitten something in her life, like if she let go then she herself would die. Her jaw screamed with pain, but she didn’t stop, even when Mapleshade’s body stopped thrashing, and her claws hung limply in the soil, no longer tearing at Petalpaw’s pelt. 

“Petalpaw!” 

Petalpaw could barely hear the cat shouting behind her. 

“Petalpaw, let go!”

They sounded as if they were worlds away, and Petalpaw just kept holding on to Mapleshade’s body, clenching as hard as her aching jaw would allow.

“For StarClan’s sake, Petalpaw! She’s dead!” 

That snapped Petalpaw out of her trance. She let go of the body, whirling around to face the cat behind her. To her surprise, Petalpaw found herself nose-to-nose with Darkstar. Behind the leader, Petalpaw caught glimpses of her clanmates, rushing into the clearing after their leader, many of them staring at her. Petalpaw could feel her muzzle and chest slick with blood, chilling in the once-warm breeze, but wether it was her own blood was any cat’s guess. All at once, it felt as though the adrenaline drained out of her, and exhaustion crept in to replace it. Her jaw began to throb harder than ever, hard enough to make her ears pound. 

She tried to open her mouth and utter a reply, but her vision swam, and the last thing she saw before the world went black was alarm flashing across Darkstar’s face. 

Chapter Text

Drowning. 

Surely, Petalpaw must be drowning. She’d felt it before. The dark, the silence, the cold, pressing around her on all sides. The pressure building, her chest burning until her vision went black. The welcoming embrace of oblivion, once it was all over. She was used to it by this point. She just had to wait, and it would all be over.

Something cold and wet hit Petalpaw’s nose, and she sat bolt upright. 

The medicine den roof was leaking again. 

With the weather warming, the clouds opted to dump rainstorm after rainstorm on the camp instead of snow. Petalpaw grunted, trying to settle back into her lumpy nest. Every time she slept, she hoped she wouldn’t wake up. It would be a mercy, at this point. The waking world around her felt far away; fuzzy. It had, for the last… however long she’d been stuck in this nest. 

“Been a quarter-moon now,” Echosnout grunted, when Darkstar visited. The leader asked Petalpaw how she was doing, doing her best to look kind. Petalpaw thought that she looked as cold as the ice that covered the river. Darkstar waited for what felt like a season, staring at Petalpaw with imploring eyes. And then, she left.

Was that earlier today, or was it yesterday? 

Petalpaw wasn’t sure. She didn’t respond. She never did. She hadn’t spoken a word since her whole world was ripped away from her. 

And why should I? There’s nothing to say anymore. Nothing would bring her back.

Another cold, wet drop hit her nose. Petalpaw growled in frustration.

She was aware, vaguely, that Perchpaw laid in a nest next to hers. He didn’t move, or do much at all. Echosnout frequently muttered to herself while standing over him, her brows creased in worry. 

How cruel would it be, Petalpaw thought, For StarClan to take him, and not me? I have nothing left to live for. Perchpaw still has the chance to be a warrior. 

The idea of her naming ceremony felt as repulsive to Petalpaw as an old, stinky fish, left out in the sun to rot. Without Reedshine there to call out her new name, it wouldn’t really be her name. She’d be Petalpaw forever, the apprentice who lost both her mothers in one afternoon.

A third drop hit Petalpaw’s nose, and she snarled.

“Easy does it,” Echosnout snapped. As usual, she was over by Perchpaw, re-wrapping his injured tail stump. “Tanglewhisker and Voleflight are going to fix the roof once they’re back from patrol.” 

Petalpaw just rolled over.

“No, Petalpaw I told you not to-” Echosnout began, but Petalpaw cut her off with a yelp of alarm as pain lanced up through her jaw. The bicolor medicine cat just shook her head, grumbling to herself. Petalpaw’s jaw throbbed, and she let out a low groan. 

“Everything okay in here?” Darkstar’s mew sounded at the entrance to the den. 

“Yes, yes, fine,” Echosnout mewed. “This one just can’t follow directions.”

She flicked her tail at Petalpaw, who flattened her ears, laying back down in her nest. She tried not to growl in anger when another droplet of water fell onto her nose. 

“How are they doing?” Darkstar asked. She didn’t bother trying to talk to Petalpaw this time. 

“Well, Petalpaw’s doing better, as you can see,” Echosnout mewed. “Perchpaw is too. StarClan willing, he’ll come out of it in a sunrise or two.”

“Very good,” Darkstar replied. “Thank you, Echosnout, for working so hard to keep these two alive. StarClan knows they’ve been through enough.”

Petalpaw couldn’t help scoffing. 

At least if I went to StarClan, I could be with Reedshine again. 

“If only Petalpaw would tell me what actually happened,” Echosnout grumbled. Petalpaw could tell the old medicine cat meant for her to hear. “What did you say you knew?”

“Perchpaw and Petalpaw went out for an unofficial hunting assessment,” Darkstar recounted, her tone not betraying wether or not she cared if Petalpaw listened. “Then, shortly before they were due back, Appledusk came rushing to the meeting spot. He said he heard an alarm call from Perchpaw, so I came back to camp to fetch backup. By the time I arrived, Petalpaw was in the clearing with Reedshine, Appledusk, and Mapleshade all dead, and Perchpaw barely clinging to life.”

“Mmm,” Echosnout murmured. “And you know she killed Mapleshade?”

“Petalpaw’s jaws were still around her throat,” Darkstar mewed in a low voice. Petalpaw felt a flash of anger, white-hot against the unrelenting, cold grip of grief. 

It’s not like I had a choice! 

Both of the older she-cats stole a glance at Petalpaw, who looked away determinedly, keeping her aching jaw clamped shut. Petalpaw knew, even if she tried, there was no way she could force words out of her mouth. 

“Recent events aside,” Darkstar mewed. “Did the other medicine cats share any good news at the half-moon meeting?”

Echosnout paused for a moment.

“Larkwing says Chivekit won’t stay out of her den,” the medicine cat mused. “When he’s six moons, she might finally have an apprentice on her paws.”

“It’s good to hear,” Darkstar replied. “That WindClan won’t be without a medicine cat, if Larkwing passes.” 

“That crazy bat is older than dirt,” Echosnout snorted. “I suspect the river will run dry before she goes to StarClan.” 

“It might seem that way,” Darkstar reminded her. “But loss can happen so unexpectedly, so quickly…”

They both fell silent, and Petalpaw felt a fresh wave of grief, knowing they must all be thinking of the same cat. 

“I’d better get back to mixing Perchpaw’s herbs,” Echosnout muttered. 

“Very well,” Darkstar mewed. “Fetch me if you need anything.”

Then, the leader turned and stalked back out into the rain.

“Petalpaw! Petalpaw!” 

Petalpaw recognized the voices of Shykit, Willowkit, and Applekit. The three kits, now nearing apprentice-size, crowded around her nest in the medicine den. They looked at her with relieved, wide, happy eyes, but a new emotion lingered underneath, one Petalpaw recognized.

Grief.

“Petalpaw, Echosnout finally let us visit you!” Shykit mewed excitedly. Petalpaw met her gaze and felt loss like a cold claw gripping her heart. Shykit, with her dark ginger fur, looked so much like Reedshine. Petalpaw could almost imagine her adoptive mother standing beside her nest, not her younger sister. The thought filled her chest with longing, which quickly broke and gave way to overwhelming despair. Unable to open her jaws and speak, Petalpaw just growled in warning, swishing her tail. Why? Did she think she could ward off the crushing feeling? The three kits’ eyes widened, and they backed away from her.

“Why’s she so mad?” Applekit mewed quietly to Echosnout, his ears folded back. “Isn’t she happy to see us?”

Petalpaw almost laughed. Her? Happy? 

When she looked at Applekit’s face, all she could see were Reedshine’s brilliant blue eyes. And Willowkit, tipping her head in confusion, carried the dark ginger warrior’s shaggy fur and small frame, so alike her in all but pelt color. Petalpaw couldn’t bear to look at any of them. She felt cornered, trapped, afraid . Like she was back in the clearing, crouching next to Reedshine’s battered body. The fur lifted along her spine, emotions churning in her belly, and with a shock of pain she pulled her lips back and bared her fangs. Echosnout stiffened.

“Kits, you should go back to Eeltail,” the medicine cat mewed.

“What?” Willowkit mewed. “We just got here!”

“Yeah!” Shykit chimed in. “We wanna spend time with-”

“Petalpaw isn’t going anywhere anytime soon,” Echosnout mewed again, a sense of urgency in her voice as she glanced at Petalpaw, who felt white-hot adrenaline in her veins. “ Go.”

Shocked, the three kits looked back at Petalpaw, hurt and confusion clear on their faces. Then, one by one, they turned and left, tails low. It wasn’t until they were out of sight that Petalpaw felt the apprehension die, the fear fizzle out in her belly. As they left, her fear gave way to confusion. 

What’s happening to me?

The rain continued for another two sunrises. Shykit, Willowkit, and Applekit didn’t return to see her again. Petalpaw still did not speak, only occasionally grunting at Echosnout when she was hungry, which wasn’t very often. 

“For StarClan’s sake,” Echosnout mewed. “You’re starting to look like a ThunderClan cat again with how your ribs are showing.” 

It didn’t help that all she was getting was mashed up fresh-kill. Her jaw was too sore to eat solid foods, and it felt thick and clumsy if she opened it. Echosnout crushed up all her meals on a flat stone and mixed it with herbs, so she cloud lap up the minced vole meat without chewing. The cold slop was far from appetizing, and Petalpaw rarely finished a meal.

“More fresh-kill!” Petalpaw opened her eyes, recognizing the voice of Birdsong. The gray tabby ducked into the medicine den, carrying a mouse and a carp. 

“Thanks, Birdsong,” Echosnout grunted. “I’ve asked Petalpaw to go fetch fresh-kill a dozen times, but all she does is sit there like a rotting log.” 

Birdsong blinked, swiveling her head to look at Petalpaw. The two she-cats’ gazes met for a moment, before Birdsong looked away, an odd expression on her face. 

“Er, well, since there’s no apprentices fit to do it right now-” she mewed, trying to sound dismissive. “Darkstar’s had Troutclaw, Tanglewhisker and I on all their duties.”

Echosnout stole a glance at Petalpaw, who just grunted in response. 

“You’ve done enough,” Echosnout mewed. “Now get your tail out of here, and go chase minnows with your mate or something.”

“I d-don’t have a mate!” Birdsong protested, taken aback.

“Of course,” Echosnout replied. “And I don’t have gray hairs. Now scoot.” 

After stealing one last apprehensive glance at Petalpaw, Birdsong ducked out of the den, clearly not eager to hear any more of Echosnout’s brazen assumptions. The medicine cat took the fresh-kill from where Birdsong left it, carrying the mouse to the back of her den to mash it up with a stone, so Petalpaw could stare at it for half the day before burying it in the clearing. 

Maybe if I don’t eat, I’ll just wither away. Then I could join Reedshine, in StarClan.

But a nagging voice sounded at the back of her mind.

Would StarClan let me in, after I killed my own mother?

To Petalpaw’s surprise, the next time she awoke, it was to Perchpaw’s voice. She cracked an eye open, stealing a glance at her denmate.

“Eeuuughhhh,” he groaned. “My tail hurts…”

Perchpaw shifted in his nest, putting his paws under himself and pushing up. Echosnout called out from the back of her den, where she was no doubt sorting herbs or mincing prey for Petalpaw.

“No, you frog-brain-” She began, but she wasn’t fast enough. As soon as Perchpaw was on his paws, he wobbled fiercely, and let out a squawk of alarm as he toppled to the side, his legs flopping out over Petalpaw, who yelped in pain as his hindpaw collided with her jaw.

“Petalpaw? Is that you?” Perchpaw asked. His half-tail, caked in pungent herbs, laid right over her nose. Petalpaw just snarled, pushing him away roughly. He got to his paws and stumbled again, falling back over into his own nest, rather clumsily. Petalpaw groaned, the pain lancing up her jaw and encircling her whole head.

“Mapleshade ripped half your tail off,” Echosnout snapped, padding over to check on Petalpaw’s jaw. “You’re about as graceful as a fish on land without it.”

“What?!” Perchpaw exclaimed. He scrabbled clumsily, turning himself to face Echosnout and Petalpaw without getting up. “It’s just my stupid tail. Surely it can’t-”

He tried pushing himself up again, and Echosnout hissed in annoyance as he immediately vaulted to the side, taking several steps and crashing into the wall of the den, slumping to the floor. The impact shook several loose water droplets from the woven roof of the den.

“Your tail is imperative for balance,” Echosnout growled at him. “Now stop stomping around in here like a great old badger, before you put a hole through the wall.” 

Perchpaw huffed, then pulled himself along the floor back towards his nest, rolling into it ungracefully. Echosnout inspected his tail, grunting in displeasure.

“Now I have to redo your poultice,” she snapped. “Don’t go getting up again until you’ve got a cat to lean on, okay?”

Perchpaw flicked his tail in frustration, rolling his eyes. Then, his gaze settled on Petalpaw.

“And what’s up with you? You look like you ate a sour minnow,” he mewed. Petalpaw flattened her ears. 

Like you didn’t just act like the biggest fool this side of Fourtrees! 

“Mapleshade knocked her jaw loose,” Echosnout mewed. “I’ve only just gotten it to set again. So don’t go flailing your ungraceful paws all over her , got it?”

“Oh,” Perchpaw looked a bit perturbed, squinting at Petalpaw. “Is that.. the best you could do?” 

Petalpaw growled. She could tell from how her teeth clicked together when she ate that her jaw was no longer perfectly aligned with her muzzle. Was it really that bad? 

“And why aren’t you talking?” Perchpaw asked. “Not that I miss your voice. It’s an improvement, honestly. But normally you’d be calling me a frog-brain or a fish-licker or whatever if I even breathed at you wrong.”

I’m not wasting breath on you. 

Petalpaw knew that wasn’t entirely true. Her thoughts felt… trapped inside her, like her muzzle was wound shut by the tightest, thickest reed. She just glared fangs at Perchpaw instead, hoping he would get the message.

“She’s in shock, and it took her voice,” Echosnout replied on Petalpaw’s behalf. “So be a bit less badger-footed with your questions, why don’t you?” 

Shock. 

Petalpaw supposed that wasn’t entirely wrong. But she didn’t feel so much shocked as she did hollow, and heavy. Like a stone you could cast into water, letting it sink to the bottom where it would never be recovered again.

Two more sunrises passed. Petalpaw could feel herself drifting in and out of consciousness, like waves rolling over her. Sleep remained unpleasant, but as Echosnout continued weaning her off the herbs, being awake became more and more unbearable. Worst of all was when Echosnout finally broke the news of what happened to Perchpaw.

“When is Appledusk going to visit me?” Perchpaw whined. “He can’t be that busy with his kits. I swear, it’s so boring in here with only you to talk to.” 

Petalpaw knew he was gesturing to Echosnout, but she growled anyways. 

“And you,” he continued, wrinkling his nose at Petalpaw. “All you do is grunt and growl like a badger.”

“Perchpaw,” Echosnout began. “Appledusk is dead.” 

Perchpaw fell silent. 

“What do you mean?” he challenged. “Thats - that’s not a funny joke, Echosnout.”

“I don’t tell jokes, Perchpaw,” Echosnout replied dryly. “Appledusk was killed in the battle against Mapleshade.” 

“But Appledusk wasn’t there!” Perchpaw stuttered. “He- It was just Petalpaw and I!” 

Echosnout flicked her tail in discomfort. 

“Appledusk and Reedshine showed up after you were wounded. Only Petalpaw knows what happened between that and Darkstar showing up,” Echosnout explained. “The clan found her in the clearing with Mapleshade, Appledusk, and Reedshine all dead.” 

Perchpaw’s pelt bristled along his spine and he turned to Petalpaw, disbelief on his face. 

“You-” he began, but Echosnout cut him off.

“Mapleshade would have killed you if Petalpaw weren’t there,” the medicine cat snapped. And probably worse, Petalpaw thought with a shiver, suddenly remembering the great tortoiseshell rogue taking chunks out of Appledusk’s flesh. 

“Appledusk’s wounds were… concerning. I don’t know exactly what Mapleshade was doing, but…” Echosnout muttered. “I have no doubt you both may have met the same fate as him, had Petalpaw not defeated her.” 

Perchpaw blinked. He turned his head slowly, looking at Petalpaw with an unreadable expression. Petalpaw just grunted, laying back down in her nest, wishing she could roll onto her side and face away from Perchpaw. 

What does it even matter if I saved us? 

I couldn’t save Reedshine.

Chapter Text

“Petalpaw, Perchpaw,” Darkstar mewed, rousing Petalpaw from her sleep. Groggily, she raised her head, blinking sleep from her eyes. The leader stood at the entrance to Echosnout’s den, blocking the bright sunlight from outside. “It’s good to see you both doing better.”

Better? Petalpaw thought bitterly. She still felt like there was sap in her veins, like her limbs were made of stone and there was nothing she could do to escape from the deep, deep chasm trapping her. 

“Er, thanks,” Perchpaw responded for the both of them. He sat in his nest with his paws tucked under him, not meeting his mother’s gaze. Petalpaw noticed that Darkstar wasn’t quite looking at him either. She felt a small spike of sympathy for her denmate, before quickly burying it.

At least his mother is still here. 

“The two of you are ready to be re-apprenticed,” Darkstar continued. “Since I take it you would like to be warriors as soon as possible?”

“Re-apprenticed?” Perchpaw wrinkled his nose. “Wasn’t fighting Mapleshade enough to get us our names?”

“Your bravery in defending the Clan does not go unnoticed, rest assured,” Darkstar replied. “But so long as you are in my clan, you will do a proper assessment to get your name.”

“Don’t argue with her,” Echosnout poked her head out from the back of the den. She had a few scraps of leaf on her nose, as if she’d been rummaging through her herb stores. “She was going to make Cloudpaw do a basic warrior assessment to get her medicine cat name.” 

“It would benefit any cat to be able to defend themself, even with the most basic moves,” Darkstar squared her shoulders. “Though StarClan willing, a medicine cat should never have to.”

Echosnout curled her lip; Petalpaw guessed she was thinking of the time Oakstar tore one of Cloudpaw’s ears. 

“So, we’re going to get our names?” Perchpaw shifted excitedly in his nest, and Petalpaw felt a stab of annoyance.

Reedshine died! Can’t you at least act a little sad about it?

“I would assume so,” Darkstar met his eyes for a moment, but then quickly looked away. “But your assessment is still an assessment, so I expect the best from both of you.” 

Petalpaw scoffed, doing her best not to cringe at the dull pain in her jaw. While the worst of it was gone and she no longer needed to keep her mouth shut, Petalpaw still found herself unable to utter a single word. 

“Now, clean yourselves up, and come out into the clearing,” Darkstar instructed. “I’m going to announce your new mentors for the whole clan.”

Perchpaw blinked, following the leader with his eyes as she ducked out of the den. 

“How am I supposed to follow her if I can’t walk?” he muttered under his breath. 

“Come along,” Echosnout padded over, nosing him in the side. “You can lean on me.”

Petalpaw tried to suppress a snort, and largely failed. Perchpaw was well and fully grown now. He was close to Oakstar’s size; if the apprentice toppled over, no doubt he would squash the old healer flat as Sunningrocks under all his fluff and bulk. Echosnout’s head swung to Petalpaw and she narrowed her eyes.

“Alright then,” she snapped. “Since it’s so funny, why don’t you get his other side?” 

Fox-dung. 

Petalpaw hauled herself to her paws, trudging over towards her denmate. Perchpaw eyed her warily, and she just glared back at him.

“Petalpaw, press against his other side, so we can lead him out into the clearing,” Echosnout instructed. “Alright now, Perchpaw. Up you go.”

Petalpaw’s stomach squirmed a bit as she leaned down, pressing her side against Perchpaw’s. His fluffy tabby fur spilled out over her back, making her a bit warmer than she’d like. She grunted in displeasure, trying to avoid clenching her jaw. She couldn’t imagine Perchpaw was much happier with the arrangement.

When the three cats stumbled awkwardly through the medicine den exit, Petalpaw saw that many of their clanmates were already gathered in the clearing, blinking at each other in confusion. Struggling against the heavy feeling in her belly, Petalpaw kept her head down, determinedly helping Echosnout lead Perchpaw to the center of the clearing.

“Surely she’s not apprenticing Reedshine’s kits already,” Milkfur whispered to Voleflight, who sat next to her. Petalpaw suppressed a fresh stab of grief, hearing another cat speak her adoptive mother’s name. “They still have another moon, don’t they?”

“Half moon, I think,” Voleflight grunted back. “I doubt it’s that.” 

“And why do they need to be here?” Birdsong muttered to Tanglewhisker, un-subtly angling her ears at Perchpaw and Petalpaw. 

“Here,” Echosnout mewed, easing away from Perchpaw. The three cats came to a stop in the middle of the clearing, in the same spot Petalpaw stood when she first became an apprentice. She stepped away from Perchpaw, and the dark brown tabby settled himself down awkwardly, tucking his paws underneath himself. Petalpaw sat down a few paces away, not looking at her denmate.

“Thanks,” Perchpaw mumbled. Petalpaw stole a sideways glance at Perchpaw, but he stared determinedly at the soft, grassy ground beneath his paws.

“Cats of RiverClan!” Darkstar called. She strode confidently towards the center island, clearing the height to the top of the announcement rock in a single bound. “Today is a very important day.”

“Those kits are too young to be apprenticed!” called a gravelly, raspy voice from the back of the crowd. Petalpaw swung her head to see Icewhisker squinting at Darkstar impatiently. Next to him was the shaggy, dark form of Sloefur.

“StarClan would never approve of this,” Sloefur grunted in agreement. 

“This ceremony is for Petalpaw and Perchpaw,” Darkstar replied. There were mews of assent in the crowd, but Icewhisker just furrowed his brows.

“Bah! They’re hardly warriors,” he snorted. “All they’ve done is sit in the medicine den, taking up prey! They need to earn their names properly!”

Petalpaw felt her ears burn with anger. 

It’s not like you do much more, stupid flea-bag! 

“Both of these apprentices showed great bravery in the battle against Mapleshade,” Darkstar replied evenly. Petalpaw caught some of her clanmates shooting unsure glances her way. “But their training is not yet complete. I am holding this ceremony to re-apprentice them.”

“Is that all, then?” Sloefur yowled back. “You dragged me out of my nap for this?” 

“Come now, Sloefur,” Petalpaw noticed Eeltail sitting close to the elders. The silver queen brushed her tail against the cranky elder, soothing her. Shykit, Willowkit, and Applekit sat nearby, the three of them huddled together. None of them looked at Petalpaw. “Thank StarClan we have something to celebrate, at the very least.” 

“Any other cat have anything to add?” Echosnout piped up from beside Petalpaw and Perchpaw, giving the elders her best stink-eye. “Or can we get on with the ceremony?” 

Sloefur turned to Icewhisker and muttered something quietly, but neither elder spoke up. Darkstar stood on the rock, her tail flicking back and forth.

“Now, then,” Darkstar mewed. “Apprenticeship is rarely easy, for any cat. Petalpaw and Perchpaw, you have shown great bravery so far, and I have no doubts you will both be warriors soon.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Petalpaw caught a glance of Perchpaw, straightening up as much as he could. Petalpaw, however, still felt absolutely nothing at the idea of being made a warrior.

“Perchpaw,” Darkstar called. Perchpaw looked up, meeting gazes with his mother. Darkstar managed to look him in the eyes this time, before beckoning to Spiketail. 

“Spiketail will be your new mentor,” she mewed. “He is a loyal, strong warrior, and I have no doubt he will complete your training without issue.” 

Perchpaw fidgeted a bit, and it seemed like he was going to try and stand up. Echosnout hissed at him to stay put, though, as Spiketail padded over from his position next to the center island. He bowed his head, touching noses with Perchpaw. The deputy whispered something in his new apprentice’s ear, but Petalpaw didn’t quite catch it. 

“And of course, Petalpaw,” Darkstar continued. Petalpaw stared up at the leader, who curled her tail up high. “I will be completing Petalpaw’s training.” 

There were a few gasps from the crowd. 

“She hasn’t had an apprentice since-” Tanglewhisker whispered somewhere behind Petalpaw, but some cat shushed him before he could finish.

Petalpaw tried to make herself feel something. The leader as her mentor? That was something most tiny kits would only dream of. 

But without Reedshine here, it feels pointless, she thought bitterly. She could almost imagine her mother standing in the crowd, wishing her luck. But if Reedshine were here, she wouldn’t need Darkstar to be her mentor.

“Ehem,” Darkstar cleared her throat. The light brown apprentice turned, and Darkstar stood just a few paces from her.

When did she jump down from the rock? 

Petalpaw hastily jutted her muzzle forward, touching noses with Darkstar. The leader was somewhat shorter than Petalpaw, nowhere near the size of her massive son. In fact, there wasn’t any cat in RiverClan who was quite as large as Perchpaw.

 Darkstar turned to the crowd of gathered RiverClan cats. Some of them shared apprehensive glances, before they began calling out.

“Perchpaw! Petalpaw! Perchpaw! Petalpaw!”

Petalpaw noticed, though, that the calls for her were much quieter than the calls for Perchpaw. 

“Hey you two! Up and at ‘em!” 

Petalpaw suppressed a groan. She recognized the overly cheery voice of RiverClan’s deputy, Spiketail, at the entrance of the apprentice’s den. The burly gray tom was in charge of getting the two up every morning right as the sun rose to work towards the end of their warrior training. 

“Coming, Spiketail,” Perchpaw grumbled. In the last quarter-moon since the two apprentices resumed their training, his balance greatly improved. He was able to walk on his own now, albeit very slowly and with an awkward, wobbling gait. 

“You too, Petalpaw,” Spiketail added. Petalpaw folded her ears back, hauling herself to her paws. She waited for Perchpaw to hobble out of the den before angrily stomping out, standing with her head hunched forward next to her tabby denmate. 

“We’re going to the Beech Copse today,” Spiketail began, whisking his tail cheerfully. Petalpaw noticed the tom’s face was starting to become creased with age, and flecks of gray dotted his muzzle. Would Darkstar choose a new deputy soon?

“Er, forgive me for objecting,” Perchpaw began, his mew dour. “But I’m not exactly great at walking.”

“-Yet!” Spiketail finished for him. “Your progress has been very impressive, Perchpaw. Echosnout said a longer walk might be good to test your skills and get some practice.” 

“And what is she doing with us?” Perchpaw spoke for Petalpaw, gesturing towards her with his head. No cat expected Petalpaw to respond to them anymore, and secretly, Petalpaw enjoyed it. Speaking felt too difficult, and with her misaligned jaw she wasn’t even sure what she would sound like. 

No, it was better to stay silent. She didn’t have anything to say, anyways.

“Darkstar is already at the Beech Copse,” Spiketail mewed. “It’s time for some battle training. Exciting, right?”

He gave an encouraging blink to Petalpaw, who just grunted vaguely. 

“Now, Perchpaw, if you need to stop and rest, or need somebody to lean on as we walk over-” Spiketail began.

“I won’t!” Perchpaw snapped. “I’m no weakling. I’ll get there fine on my own.”

With that, the tabby apprentice wobbled forward, taking shaky, unsure steps. Still, despite his clumsiness, he held his head high, refusing to spare a glance towards any of the cats watching him go. 

“Well then!” Spiketail mewed cheerily. “Come on now, Petalpaw. We wouldn’t want to keep Darkstar waiting!” 

Petalpaw grumbled as she pushed herself to her paws, letting her tail drag low as she trudged after Spiketail, leaving the camp behind for the first time in what felt like seasons.

The three cats were about halfway to the Beech Copse when Perchpaw’s breathing grew labored and his steps slowed. Petalpaw followed several paces behind him and Spiketail, purposely dragging her paws. The sun now shone above the reed beds, chasing away the morning dew and heating up Petalpaw’s back and head until she felt like she was baking. She flicked her tail irritably, swatting at a fly as it tried to land on her flank. Ahead of her, Perchpaw suddenly lurched forward, his paws getting tangled under him.

“Urrgh!” he grunted as he fell to the ground. “Frog-dung!” 

Spiketail bolted forward. He’d been giving Perchpaw space to walk on his own, but now that he was down, the RiverClan deputy cleared the distance in only two bounds to check on his apprentice. Petalpaw merely stopped, hanging back and watching the two toms absentmindedly. 

“I know, I know,” Perchpaw was already hissing at him through gritted teeth. “That was bad. Kits have more coordination than me, I get it. Whatever!”

Spiketail blinked.

“I was going to ask if you’re okay, that’s all,” Spiketail replied, his tone gentle. Perchpaw seemed taken aback, falling silent for a moment as he stared at his mentor.  

“Oh,” Perchpaw mewed quietly. “Er, yeah, I’m fine.”

“Do you need to take a break?” Spiketail asked. 

“No,” Perchpaw’s tone turned sour once again. “I’m not weak!”

Perchpaw worked his paws back under his belly, pushing himself up to a standing position. Without waiting for Spiketail to reply, he continued walking, his shoulders hunched determinedly. 

It felt like another two seasons before the three cats arrived at the Beech Copse. When Petalpaw hauled herself over the edge of the hollow, she spotted Darkstar, sitting in the shade of one of the trees, giving her forepaws a wash.

“Afternoon, Darkstar!” Spiketail called cheerily, hopping over the side of the hollow and trotting down towards his friend. Darkstar’s expression brightened at the sound of her name, and she stood to touch noses with Spiketail as he arrived. Then, she took a deep breath and turned to Perchpaw. 

“Perchpaw, you did an excellent job making it all the way here,” she mewed, nodding her approval to him. “Do you feel up to doing any training?”

“Of course I do,” Perchpaw huffed. “Why else would I be here?”

“I worried the walk may have been too much,” Darkstar replied. “Especially since you have to walk back to camp, as well.”

Perchpaw flattened his ears angrily.

“I’m a full grown warrior,” he snapped. “Not a newborn kit!”

“I never said that,” Darkstar mewed evenly. “But you are injured. No cat would look down on you for needing to take your training slow at first.” 

“Appledusk would,” Perchpaw’s mutter was so quiet, Petalpaw almost didn’t hear it.

“What was that?” Darkstar asked.

“Nothing,” Perchpaw replied. 

Darkstar turned to Petalpaw, now addressing both apprentices.

“We’re going to go over some of the basic exercises today,” she mewed. “To ease back into training. To start, can the two of you show me a hunter’s crouch?”

Petalpaw rolled her eyes, but got up from where she was sitting. She moved a few paces from Perchpaw, predicting that the dark tabby would probably do poorly at balancing and fall over. Petalpaw spread her paws and dropped into a sloppy, crooked hunter’s crouch, her tail dragging low. Darkstar watched, furrowing her brow. Back where Perchpaw stood, the dark tabby wobbled as he lowered himself, slowly planting his paws further apart. Once or twice he almost toppled over, but he used his paws to catch himself at the last moment. After a great deal of time, he finally settled into the proper form for the crouch. 

“Great work, Perchpaw!” Spiketail purred. He padded up to his apprentice, circling him to inspect his paw placement. “This paw could probably-”

Spiketail bent down to nose Perchpaw’s hindleg inwards a bit. Perchpaw let out a squawk of alarm as his half-tail flew to the side, trying in vain to balance him. It didn’t work, and he fell to the ground with an unceremonious thump. 

“Er- whoops,” Spiketail flattened his ears in embarrassment. “Sorry! Are you okay, Perchpaw?”

“I’m fine,” Perchpaw grunted. As Spiketail helped his apprentice back to his paws, Darkstar approached Petalpaw. 

“Place your paws wider, Petalpaw,” she instructed, as if she were talking to a newly-apprenticed kit. “And keep your tail straight out behind you.” 

Petalpaw just grunted, making a half-hearted attempt to fix her posture. Darkstar watched her, displeasure now showing clear on her face. 

“Let’s try some stalking instead,” she mewed, keeping her tone brisk. Both apprentices nodded, Perchpaw much more energetically. As she transitioned to the stalking exercise, Petalpaw moved sluggishly, letting her paws drag and fall clumsily over the dirt, not bothering to avoid kicking twigs and pebbles. 

Perchpaw, meanwhile, crept forward deftly, keeping his belly so low it almost brushed the ground, his half-tail flicking back and forth. He still moved slowly, and wobbled, but he was more sure-footed than before. 

“Hey!” Perchpaw exclaimed. His tone sounded… enthusiastic. Way more so than Petalpaw could recall him sounding in moons. “This is way easier than walking. Maybe ThunderClan is onto something!” 

Petalpaw felt a small flicker of surprise. Appledusk never would have tolerated his apprentice saying something like that. And in his mentor’s presence, Perchpaw never would have said it, either. But then again…

Appledusk isn’t here anymore, either. 

For the first time, Petalpaw really considered her father’s absence. She tried to make herself feel something. But truly, she wasn’t sure what she should feel about him. He was a detestable cat. She would never like him. But murdered? 

Petalpaw shivered, remembering Mapleshade’s gaping jaws and the hunger in her eyes as she tried to make fresh-kill out of her former mate.

Does any cat deserve to die like that? 

And Mapleshade. How did she sink so low? What happened to her? What turned the loving mother, who would stay awake all night just to make sure her kits felt safe and warm, into such a monster? She was honorable enough to be considered for Oakstar’s deputy!

And when Reedshine offered her peace, Mapleshade killed her.

Fresh grief washed over Petalpaw once again, like claws digging into her heart.

It just isn’t fair. All three of my parents, gone in a single afternoon. One of them didn’t even like me. Why did it have to be this way?

“Petalpaw!”

Petalpaw shook her head, momentarily jolted from her reverie. Darkstar stood a few paces away, studying her with an unreadable expression. 

Darkstar.

She sent Mapleshade away.

What if she hadn’t?

Petalpaw tried to imagine it. Mapleshade would have stayed in RiverClan. Ravenwing, Frecklewish, Appledusk, and Reedshine would all still be alive. Cloudpaw wouldn’t be forced to move to ThunderClan. Maybe her parents could have settled their differences. 

Is that wishful thinking?

Either way, Reedshine would still be alive. Petalpaw wouldn’t be alone. Fury stabbed through her like a bolt of lightning as she glared at Darkstar. 

“Thiff iff your fffault!” Petalpaw snarled. Her jaw felt clumsy and thick and her teeth hit together awkwardly, making her wince. Darkstar’s eyes widened in shock.

“Petalpaw! You.. you spoke!” she mewed disbelievingly. Behind her, Petalpaw could see Spiketail and Perchpaw, both sharing looks of surprise. Petalpaw lashed her tail. 

“Wiffout you , Weedffine would still be here!” Petalpaw spat out again, this time speaking slower. She tried to form the right sounds, but they just kept coming out strange and lopsided, like her jaw. Darkstar merely looked perplexed in response. Petalpaw wasn’t sure the leader could even understand what she was saying. She snorted angrily, wishing the leader would understand what she said, feel the sting of her words, wishing that somehow, she could transfer her pain to Darkstar. Anger began to well up in her belly like hot, sour bile. 

“Petalpaw, what…” Darkstar mewed, but Petalpaw, chest surging with rage, didn’t let the leader finish. 

“AAAUURGH!!” Petalpaw let out a guttural scream of frustration, clawing at the dirt. It felt good, the sound tearing against her throat, her barely-healed jaw aching as she opened it too wide, her claws stinging as they snagged on roots and pebbles. The pain seemed to bring reality into sharp focus around her, making her feel more alive than she had since the battle with Mapleshade.

Darkstar began to take steps towards her, but Petalpaw just yowled again, turning tail and bolting into the reeds. Her paws, soft from lack of use, pulsed with dull pain as they pounded against the damp ground, air burning in her throat and lungs. Trees, reeds, and stones all flashed by in a blur and before she knew it, she was crashing through the familiar reed wall and barrelling into RiverClan camp. She headed straight for her den, and didn’t stop until she ran headlong into a mountain of pale gray fur. 

“Hey! W-watch it!” it was Splashfoot, his eyes wide in panic. Petalpaw just snarled, snapping her jaws at him, ignoring the pain that lanced up through her face. Splashfoot yelped in shock, jumping away from her with his tail bushed. Petalpaw could feel the stares of her clanmates on her pelt, but she didn’t care.

“Petalpaw, what are you-” she recognized Troutclaw’s anxious mew, the gray tabby bounding over to check on his mate. Petalpaw just got up and kept running, shooting into the empty apprentice’s den. She stopped and stood over her nest, stiff-limbed and panting. Her whole body ached from the exertion, and new pains sparked through her head and neck as she clenched her barely healed jaw. She stared down at the nest, woven by Reedshine, decorated with presents from her little siblings. Overwhelming emotion crashed down on Petalpaw like a vicious wave. Petalpaw unsheathed her claws, screaming with fury and grief. She let blind rage guide her as she ripped into the nest, flinging pieces of it to the side in a whirlwind of claws until nothing remained underneath.

Petalpaw gazed at the bare earthen floor, heaving deep, uneven breaths, her body shaking. What had she done? The nest was her last connection to Reedshine. Hopelessness crushed her like a boulder, and she collapsed into the dirt, her whole body wracked with shuddering sobs.

How can I go on?

Petalpaw sobbed until she simply had no energy left, letting sleep take her into its warm embrace. She didn’t dream; she was too tired for even that. The endless nothing felt nice; had Petalpaw been more lucid, perhaps she would have wished to never wake up.

But I could never be that lucky, could I?

 It was dark as night in the den when Petalpaw stirred back into consciousness. Her spine and head throbbed with pain from laying on the cold, hard ground with no bedding. She shivered; Leafbare may be over, but it wasn’t far behind just yet, and a cool nighttime chill crept into every corner of the den. Her limbs felt as heavy as stone and as she tried to chase away the grogginess, she recognized what roused her; a delicious smell wafting directly into her nostrils. 

Some cat had left a freshly-caught vole barely a mouse-length away from her face.

Chapter Text

“Up! Down! To the left! No, your other left!” Spiketail called.

Petalpaw laid on her back in the Beech Copse, sparring with Perchpaw. The large tabby tom had her pinned to the ground, his bulk and fur enveloping her like a dark cloud. She growled and thrust her legs upward, connecting with Perchpaw’s belly. His vulnerable underside was well cushioned by his thick, fluffy pelt, and the dark tabby barely flinched from her weak kick. She made a halfhearted attempt to heave him off, failing miserably. 

In the last quarter-moon since their first trip to the Beech Copse, Darkstar and Spiketail dragged the two apprentices back there every single day, drilling them from sunrise until sunset on fighting moves and hunting. Some cat continued to leave fresh land prey near Petalpaw’s nest, in the morning before she woke up, and in the evening before she returned for sleep. A small part of her was grateful; she hardly had the energy or the will to even trudge to the fresh-kill pile for a meal, especially after nights of sleeping on the bare earth with no nest to cushion her. In her seemingly permanent state of fatigue, Petalpaw moved sluggishly during training, not putting her heart into it at all. 

Perchpaw, however, improved by leaps and bounds; once he was training again, he grew accustomed rather quickly to his new center of balance. He still stumbled and wobbled occasionally, but an unfamiliar cat may have guessed he was born with only half a tail. A few sunrises ago, Petalpaw’s weak kick may have toppled him; but today, he stood over her, firmly pinning her down. 

“That’s match,” Darkstar called from the edge of the hollow. “Perchpaw wins. Again.” 

“Great job, Perchpaw!” Spiketail yowled, his amber eyes sparkling. 

Perchpaw ducked his head bashfully at his mentor’s praise. 

That’s changed as well, Petalpaw thought. The old Perchpaw would be gloating about the excellence of pure RiverClan blood, or whatever.

Petalpaw growled at Perchpaw, to remind him that he was, in fact, still pinning to the ground. Her sparring opponent hopped backwards hastily, almost toppling over. Petalpaw grumbled as she rolled to her side and pushed herself up onto her paws. 

“Petalpaw, can you tell me what you did wrong?” Darkstar asked. Petalpaw just glared at her, flicking her tail back and forth irritably. 

“I think she’s gone quiet again,” Spiktail murmured, leaning towards Darkstar. 

“I figured I’d ask,” Darkstar replied evenly. “Petalpaw, your movements were unfocused and sloppy. You relied too much on weaknesses Perchpaw no longer shows.” 

Darkstar gave an approving nod to Perchpaw, but didn’t look right at him. 

“I want you two to spar one more time,” Darkstar mewed. “Then we’ll be done for the day.” 

Perchpaw nodded and immediately crouched, starting to circle. Petalpaw, meanwhile, moved without haste, her paws scraping noisily as she dragged them along the ground. Perchpaw watched her with narrowed blue eyes, but didn’t make any moves. They continued to circle each other, for so long that even Petalpaw began to feel antsy. 

“Ehem,” Darkstar cleared her throat. “Any season, now.”

Perchpaw stole a look back towards the leader. Urgency flashed in Petalpaw’s chest, like she should take the opportunity to pounce. But her limbs still felt heavy, and she merely continued trudging forward, glowering at Perchpaw. After what felt like a season, Perchpaw, sprang forward, albeit very hesitantly. He barrelled into Petalpaw and the two cats went rolling across the ground. Petalpaw gritted her teeth as the dirt battered against her pelt. She let her limbs go limp, expecting Perchpaw to pin her again, and for the match to be over. However, he sprang away from her, then darted to her side. Petalpaw whipped around to face him, arching her back and hissing half-heartedly. Perchpaw lowered his belly to the ground, as if he were about to pounce again. But he hesitated, staying crouched with his back exposed. He locked eyes with Petalpaw, and something flashed across his gaze, almost as if he were beckoning her forward.

What’s his game? Petalpaw thought crossly. Can’t he just hurry up and pin me already?

Perchpaw stared for a moment longer, before springing forward with his paws outstretched. All the air was knocked from Petalpaw’s lungs as he tackled her to the ground, pinning her flat against the dirt once again. She met Perchpaw’s eyes, and felt a flash of surprise when he looked pensive, like he was searching her gaze for something. Unnerved, she growled and threw him off, pushing herself to her paws. Perchpaw staggered to the side, blinking. 

“Perchpaw wins!” Spiketail called, bounding down into the clearing to congratulate his apprentice. Darkstar stayed at the edge of the hollow, fixing Petalpaw with an unreadable stare. 

“I think we’re done for today,” Darkstar mewed, nodding to Spiketail and Perchpaw. “You two can head back to camp. Or, if you’re up for it, you could go hunting.”

“Hunting,” Perchpaw interjected. “We’d like to go hunting.”

Spiketail blinked in surprise, but just shrugged.

“I don’t see why not. More prey means more full bellies,” he mewed, giving Perchpaw a nod of approval. “We’ll see you two back at camp?”

Spiketail gave Darkstar a meaningful glance, which she returned, touching her tail to his shoulder. 

“Of course,” she replied. “I’d like to have a talk with Petalpaw first, though. We won’t be long.” 

Spiketail dipped his head, turning to leave the clearing. Perchpaw followed behind him, trotting lightly and holding his half-tail high. Petalpaw scowled as he went, not looking away from the two toms until they were over the lip of the hollow and out of sight.

“Petalpaw,” Darkstar began, her tone calm. Petalpaw turned to her mentor, but didn’t respond. “I am disappointed with your performance in the last few days.” 

Petalpaw just huffed through her nose, hoping it would communicate how little she cared.

“I understand that you are upset,” Darkstar continued. “But you can’t stay this way forever.” 

And what if I did? Petalpaw thought stubbornly. The moon would still rise at night, wouldn’t it?

“Eeltail says that Shykit, Applekit, and Willowkit are almost ready to be apprenticed,” Darkstar continued. “I was hoping that you and Perchpaw could be mentors together.” 

Petalpaw curled her lip at the idea of mentoring one of her younger siblings. Even before losing Reedshine, she thought mentorship sounded dull. But now? 

No, never.

Darkstar stared at Petalpaw in silence. She looked hopeful, as if she thought Petalpaw might be encouraged to speak.

“I think you should start seeing Echosnout again,” Darkstar mewed, finally shaking her head. “If you won’t talk to me, you’ll have to talk to some cat.”

Petalpaw felt her fur prickle along her spine. Why was Darkstar always sending her to the medicine cat? It’s not like the cranky old badger was ever any help anyways.

“That’s all for now. Please see Echosnout when you get back to camp,” Darkstar mewed. She hesitated, and then added on. “I hope that you feel better soon, Petalpaw.”

All Petalpaw had in response to that was a snort. 

When Petalpaw stirred from sleep, honey-colored light filtered through the entrance of the den. For a moment, she questioned if it was sunrise or sunset - but the afternoon heat lingering in the den told her it must be sunset. Just a few whisker-lengths in front of her nose was, as usual, a water vole. Whoever brought her prey was very insistent on keeping her fed; and they remembered to never bring her fish, either. Lazily, she picked the vole up in her mouth. Her jaw didn’t hurt quite so bad anymore, and she had long since grown used to the odd way it sat underneath her muzzle. She crawled out of the apprentice’s, preparing to make her way across camp to Echosnout. 

Two sunrises ago, Darkstar told Petalpaw that she had to speak with the medicine cat at least once a day, and Petalpaw preferred to put it off as long as she could. Her paws dragged and she held her tail and head low, and she observed that most of her clanmates gave her a wide berth as she walked. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Birdsong sitting with Tanglewhisker in a patch of sunshine, eyeing her warily. Splashfoot and Troutclaw laid nearby them, with Troutclaw moving closer to Splashfoot protectively when he spotted Petalpaw. Her younger siblings were nowhere to be seen, but that wasn’t surprising; ever since Petalpaw snapped at them in the medicine den they avoided her. It almost felt like a blessing to Petalpaw. The three kits all carried Reedshine in some way or another, and the memories were just too painful to dig up. She saw her late mother in everything; in the woven walls of camp, in the pebbly riverbanks, the foamy waterfall at the gorge, it all reminded Petalpaw of her loss in some way or another. No, it was best if she avoided her siblings, and spared herself the pain. 

Before Petalpaw crossed the clearing, the reed wall rustled and an enormous bundle of tabby fur burst into camp, scrabbling to a stop a few paces away with his half-tail held high in the air. 

“I did it!” Perchpaw yowled in excitement, hopping on his paws. It took Petalpaw a moment to realize the dark tabby was talking to her. She just blinked at him, raising an eyebrow. 

“I passed my assessment!” He mewed. He hopped again, then stumbled a bit, regaining his footing quickly. “I’m going to be a warrior!” 

Petalpaw huffed in response. She wasn’t surprised when Darkstar said she would be assessing Perchpaw without her. He clearly actually cared about being a warrior. In fact, he seemed much more enthusiastic in general lately. It reminded her of when they were in the nursery, and Perchkit would try to get her to care about his stupid rock collection. But Petalpaw couldn’t figure out why he was telling her of all cats about it.

Perchpaw’s eyes darted downwards, to her muzzle. Petalpaw felt a flash of self-consciousness, before realizing she still held the vole in her jaws. Even if she dropped it, she doubted she would have anything to say. Words didn’t come to her easily; talking felt like it took a great energy, and she expended most of that energy talking to Echosnout. Or, more precisely, telling Echosnout to shove it and leave her alone.

“Since you’ve got prey,” Perchpaw mewed, suddenly looking a bit nervous. “Wanna share with me? Darkstar said she wanted to speak with Spiketail before my ceremony.”

Petalpaw blinked in surprise. She stared at Perchpaw for a moment, considering his offer. Then, she imagined the verbal lashing she would get from Echosnout if she put off their talk any longer. 

That’s a good excuse, right?

She shook her head and shoved past Perchpaw, a little rougher than she intended. As she stomped towards the medicine den, her pelt burned and she didn’t look back. 

When Petalpaw ducked into the familiar space of the medicine den, she was surprised to see Echosnout wasn’t alone as usual. Milkfur laid on her side, while Echosnout sniffed over her bright white fur. The large, long-haired she-cat looked up, her yellow eyes widening in surprise.

“Oh right,” Echosnout grunted. “I forgot to tell you Petalpaw might stop by.”

“Er, hello, Petalpaw” Milkfur mumbled. She looked a bit nervous, shifting so her belly wasn’t exposed anymore. 

“Don’t worry,” Echosnout mewed to Milkfur. “You’re not Petalpaw’s kin, by blood or otherwise, so you’re safe from any attacks.” 

Petalpaw curled her lip in displeasure, but sat down and waited for the medicine cat to be done.

“You’re about a half-moon along,” Echosnout grunted. “If you still feel well enough to patrol, go ahead, I’m not your mentor. But within the next moon, you’d better get your tail into the nursery.” 

Nursery? But Milkfur doesn’t have a-

“How is she?” The deep mew of Voleflight rumbled at the entrance to the den. Echosnout just rolled her eyes, not looking at him.

“She’s fine,” Echosnout mewed. “And you’re doing a terrible job convincing me that you’re not mates.”

“We aren’t,” Milkfur huffed. “I just asked him to father the kits.”

“Is it against the warrior code to be concerned?” Voleflight added on. 

“Alright then,” the old medicine cat rolled her eyes. “Since nothing’s wrong, the both of you bats can get lost. I need to have a chat with Petalpaw.” 

Echosnout shot Petalpaw a look as Milkfur hurriedly got to her paws, trotting towards the den entrance. Voleflight moved to let her pass, watching her go with a worried expression. The small tabby then flicked his tail, following Milkfur into the clearing.

“So,” Echosnout began, not looking at Petalpaw. She was tidying up the spot where Milkfur had laid down, sweeping spare leaf scraps towards the corner of the den. “Talk to me.”

Petalpaw flicked her tail. The words felt caught in her throat, and she really couldn’t think of anything to say, anyways. She dropped the vole at her paws, settling with her belly against the cool floor of the den.

“Not feeling talkative today?” Echosnout asked. Petalpaw just shook her head. “Alright then.”

When Petalpaw went silent, Echosnout never forced her to talk. Instead, the medicine cat asked her yes or no questions, gradually working her way towards information she thought was useful. It usually wasn’t, but Petalpaw was glad to not force herself to speak.

“Do you feel safe today?” Echosnout asked. That was always the first question. Petalpaw nodded, Yes . Echosnout finished her tidying and sat down a few paces from Petalpaw, giving her bony shoulder a lick.

“Did you do training?” Echosnout continued. Petalpaw shook her head, No. “Did you eat?” 

Petalpaw bent her head down and took a bite from the vole. Then, she nodded. Yes. Echosnout flicked her tail with displeasure.

“You’ve got to eat more than one piece of fresh-kill per day,” Echosnout chided. “No wonder you’ve been laying about so much.” 

Petalpaw rolled her eyes, taking another bite from the vole.

“Did you catch the vole?” Echosnout asked. Petalpaw shook her head, No . 

This is so dumb, Petalpaw thought to herself, chewing a mouthful of the prey. 

Echosnout squinted at her, as if she could read the apprentice’s thoughts. 

“Well, not that you’ll give a rat’s tail, but there’ll be new kits soon,” Echosnout mewed. “Milkfur’s having a litter, as you saw.”

So?

“Darkstar will probably want you to mentor one of them,” the medicine cat continued. “Since you won’t be a warrior in time to mentor one of Reedshine’s.”

Reedshine’s name stuck like a thorn in Petalpaw’s heart. And at the same time, she felt a pang of regret, which she fought to push away as quickly as possible. 

“You know, you could have made it in time,” Echosnout pointed it out. “If you put any effort at all, into anything.” 

Petalpaw felt her fur prickle self-consciously. She was grieving! And it’s not like any cat seemed to care, either. Her younger siblings were avoiding her too, she was just returning the favor.

“But go on,” Echosnout grunted. “Keep wasting away. I’m sure Reedshine will be very proud of you.” 

Petalpaw drew her lips back in a snarl, feeling anger flare in her belly. She opened her mouth, finally feeling annoyed enough to respond, but she was interrupted by a call from the camp clearing.

“Let all cats old enough to swim gather here for a clan meeting!” yowled Darkstar. 

“Ah, well,” Echosnout shrugged. “You can give me a verbal lashing another time.” 

She didn’t wait for Petalpaw to respond, and turned to leave the den. Anger still seethed under Petalpaw’s pelt as she followed Echosnout into the clearing. 

How dare she tell me what Reedshine would want, Petalpaw thought. She didn’t know Reedshine like I did. 

Petalpaw remembered Reedshine’s final words to Mapleshade.

You must be kind. 

She tried to shove away the deep-seated worry that, maybe, Echosnout had a point.

Darkstar stood on the center island, beckoning the clan together with her tail. Petalpaw sat down towards the edge of the crowd, only partially paying attention. The sun dipped just beneath the horizon, casting the camp in a deep, golden glow. Greenleaf would arrive within the next moon, and Petalpaw knew that soon the heat would linger long into the night. She had vague, vague memories of the previous Greenleaf - when she was still in ThunderClan, in the nursery.

But none of that matters now, Petalpaw thought bitterly. I’ll never have a mother to keep me safe, ever again. 

“Cats of RiverClan!” Darkstar called, beginning a speech she’d given many times. “Today we celebrate one of the most important parts of a young cat’s life. Perchpaw, step forward!”

Perchpaw, easily visible from his size, stepped into the clearing, flanked by Spiketail. His unkempt fur was smoothed down with vigorous grooming, and Petalpaw could see him quivering with anticipation as he gazed up at his mother standing on the center island. 

I hope she names him something bland. Like Perchfur, or Perchpelt. 

“I, Darkstar, leader of RiverClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. He has trained hard, harder than many, to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend him to you as a warrior in his own turn,” Darkstar mewed. As she spoke, she gazed around the crowd, rather than looking at her son. “Perchpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your life?”

Perchpaw took a step forward, his eyes blazing with determination.

“I do,” he mewed confidently. 

“Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. Perchpaw, from now on, you will be known as Perchshine. StarClan honors your persistence, your growth, and your loyalty, and we welcome you as a full warrior of RiverClan.” 

Petalpaw barely heard the end of the speech, nor did she pay attention as Darkstar leapt down from the rock, touching noses reluctantly with her son.

Perch shine? 

She felt as though a cat had kicked her in the stomach. 

“Perchshine! Perchshine! Perchshine!”

Betrayal roiled in Petalpaw’s belly as the clan raised their voices around her, seemingly ignorant to the travesty of what just occurred. 

How can they celebrate? 

Petalpaw fixed her gaze on Darkstar, who stood next to Perchshine, calling out his new name. She flexed her claws, pricking them into the soft dirt beneath her.

How could she do this to me? 

She swayed on her paws as Perchshine trotted up to her. It took all Petalpaw’s strength to not lash out in anger with her claws. He opened his mouth to say something, but Eeltail cut him off. The silver tabby queen stood beside her foster son, gazing at him warmly.

“It’s a silent vigil, remember?” She mewed. Perchshine stood with his mouth hanging open for a moment, then quickly snapped it shut, nodding to her. Eeltail curled her striped tail up with delight as she continued. “Oh, Perchshine! Your new name is so beautiful. I’m so proud of you!”

Eeltail moved in to nuzzle her foster son affectionately. Petalpaw expected Perchshine to cringe, or to push the queen away. But, to her surprise, he just purred, closing his eyes happily. 

He’s changed, Petalpaw thought. When did that happen?

After Eeltail was done, Perchshine gave a few licks on her face, blinking slowly and warmly. Petalpaw lashed her tail, feeling anger beneath her pelt. Eeltail was Reedshine’s closest friend. How could she celebrate Perchshine’s new name?

“Petalpaw, do you want to come to the nursery tonight?” Eeltail’s question caught Petalpaw off guard. She blinked at the silver queen in confusion. “It’s Shykit, Willowkit, and Applekit’s last night in the nursery. I thought maybe you could share some advice with them, on how to be good apprentices.”

Petalpaw’s stomach dropped. When Darkstar said they would be apprentices soon, she didn’t realize she meant literally the next day. 

Tomorrow, they’ll be my denmates again. I’ll have to look at them every day, and be reminded of what I lost. 

She shook her head, backing away from Eeltail. 

“No? What do you mean?” Sadness crept into Eeltail’s mew. She took a few steps forward, questioning Petalpaw. “Petalpaw, they’ve been so distraught without you. We all miss you. Why don’t you come back?”

The words “come back” stuck in Petalpaw’s mind. Like she was lost, detached from the Clan, unable to find her way out of the darkness. It felt a little too correct.

“No!” The word escaped Petalpaw’s mouth before she even realized she had something to say. Perchshine’s eyes widened in alarm. He started nudging Eeltail anxiously, whose eyes glistened with emotion. 

“Petalpaw, please!” Eeltail begged, starting to break down. “It’s not just about tonight, it’s… it’s just-”

Perchshine shouldered his way between Eeltail and Petalpaw. Eeltail tried momentarily to get around him, pushing against the dark tabby’s large form. But she quickly dissolved, pushing her head into his fur and giving off quiet, muffled sobs. Perchshine bunted his head against hers gently, purring lowly to soothe the queen. He then gazed at Petalpaw, something deep and unreadable in his eyes.

Petalpaw couldn’t bear to look at the two of them any longer, so she turned and ran to the apprentice’s den.

Chapter Text

Beware.

Petalpaw awoke in a dank, moldy forest. Feeling the ground, damp and unpleasantly squishy beneath her paws, she looked around. The sky above held no stars, and the charred, dark tree trunks stood still like skeletons, picked clean by buzzards. The only light to see by was from glowing mushrooms, growing out of the rotting logs and trees. A haunting familiarity tugged at her chest, like she’d been here before.

Beware.

A voice whispered in her ear. She whirled around, but only the forest loomed, dark and empty as ever. Petalpaw padded forward anxiously, feeling the muddy ground on her paws. She crept between the trees as quickly as she dared to go. 

The enemy comes from within. Your blood will betray you.

Petalpaw couldn’t help but feel she’d heard this before. But where? Fog crept into her mind, dulling her senses, making her steps feel heavy. An unpleasant sensation wormed its way down her spine, like eyes were boring into the back of her head. Warily, she glanced over her shoulder. A thick mist began to gather in the forest, creeping out from the trees towards her. Petalpaw knew, for some reason, she couldn’t let the mist touch her. She picked up her pace until she was running, her paws pounding the smelly, grimy forest floor, kicking up mud and debris. Despite her speed, the mist nipped at her heels, prickling like fire against her skin. 

“Petalpaw!”

She kept running, but the mist crept further up her legs, stinging and burning, setting her pelt alight with pain.

“Petalpaw, wake up!”

Just before the mist enveloped her fully, Petalpaw’s eyes snapped open. Perchshine stood over her, and she felt recognition crash over her.

That dream again? She thought angrily, recalling a similar dream from what felt like seasons ago, before Mapleshade trampled so cruelly back into her life. My blood already has betrayed me. What more could it take?