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It is a fierce fight between the two rivals, both of them trying to overthrow the other. Winning the tournament seems to be a priority to both of them. Bakugo Katsuki seems to be taking the lead. The crowd is going wild, yelling his name. A devilish grin appears on his face. Preparing his final punch, he can almost taste the victory. He launches at Deku, too sure of himself to notice he had already regained his strength again.
As fast as ever he manages to dodge the blondes attack, seemingly moving at the speed of light. Overwhelmed by the sheer speed that Deku suddenly has, he doesn't see the next move coming. It only takes a few well aimed punches for him to take the once invincible down. The audience watches in awe as he manages to unexpectedly win the fight.
A few seconds pass as izuku just stands still, realizing what had just happend. He doesn't really notice or care about the people cheering for him. All he can think about is that he beat Kacchan. He did it! With a grin he turns towards him, holding out his hand towards the blonde, just like 10 years ago. After all his training he was finally able to beat him, to show that they are equal. He stands there, arm streched out towards him, a beaming smile on his face. But instead of a welcoming gesture, all he get's is an angry scoff.
Bakugo Katsuki doesn't like losing, especially not against Deku. Offended he stands up, throwing an insult at his face and angrily storming off. Izuku looks after him confused, not understanding what he did wrong.
On the way to his dorm he replays the earlier scene in his head over and over again, desperatly trying to figure out what he did wrong. Again. Like always. But this was different, wasn't it? The Deku beat Bakugo Katsuki! This is what he wanted right? Why was he mad? Shouldn’t he be happy he wasn't as weak and useless anymore?
Too caught up in his own drowning thoughts, he was surprised when his classmates yelled "Congratulations on winning Izuku!" as soon as he entered the door. He tried faking a smile as everyone came up to him one by one, praising him. He mindlessly hugged each classmate back, but he wasn't able to focus on any of it, as his eyes kept searching for one person.
Uraraka was gushing about how awesome he was looking, admiring him with those oh so sweet eyes.
Her Cheeks were a light pink and she was smiling so brightly you could mistake her for the sun. Usually he would be a stuttering flustered mess trying to get out a high pitched “thanks“.
Yet he couldn't bring himself to pay any attention to her. Iida congratulating him, Todoroki telling him what a great job he did, even Denki practically jumping on him couldn't distract him from his sickening thoughts. He had tried to focus on the conversation, he really did! But all the noises faded into the background, as he silently observed the scene before him.
Together they entered the dorm, the deep scowl that he once punished izuku with long gone. Those red eyes didn't seem half as angry as they usually did, instead he seemed to have a softend look. He wouldn't even look at his mom like that! He had secretly always hoped that one day, maybe he would be able to look at him like he now did at Kirishima.
Izuku wanted to run away, wanted to scream and cry and smash all these annoying things around him, but he wasn't even able to turn around.
He was completely devastated. Rage was building at the pit of his stomach while tears were forming in his eyes, threatening to spill over. His whole mind was occupied with trying to keep the sobs unnoticed ,while he had to watch.
Watch Kirishima putting an arm around Katsuki while trying to cheer him up, a smile so gently tugging at his lips. Watch him telling Kacchan how super manly he was. He hated it. Hated the word, hated Kirishima, hated himself. Everytime he had to hear that word it made him rage with anger. Heart shaped eyes with a smile so disgustingly sweet that it made him throw up. Kirishima was talking about his Kacchan. He wanted nothing more than to punch that fucking smile out of his face.
It should have been him standing next to Kacchan, telling him that he will beat Izuku next time. His slightly upwards curled lips, forming a soft smile, should be directed at him. Why was he looking like that at Kirishima? Hadn't he been good enough? Hadn't he tried his best?
In his mind , winning in a fight against Kacchan, would prove how strong he had become. They would both smile at each other while Kaccan would congratulate him on his victory. Finally he wouldn't be the weak,useless deku anymore.
Finally they could be friends! They could study together, train together, have fun together! All the pain and bullying would have been worth it.
But that was only possible in his imagination.
Kacchan didn't smile fondly at him, he didn't congratulate him, he didn't want to study or train together and he didn't even want to look at him. After all these years he still felt nothing but hatred towards Izuku, he knew that. He had hoped and prayed but it was undeniable. He tried so hard to gain his approval, to stand out to him. He wanted to be by his side, be his friend, partner and lover. He has spent the last years facing him everyday, tryng his hardest to keep a grin on his face, even when he was hurt. Hasn´t he endured enought? He finally beat him, so why didn´t he consider him a strong ally?
After all everything they have been through together, everything he has been through! Nothing! absolutly nothing! Something similar to his snort came out of his mouth, laughing over his own stupidity. How could he have been so blind? so naive and stupid and dumb and worthless and - he stopped midthough.
Looking at him smiling fondly at Kirishima even after losing, the thing he hated the most, he realized. At that moment, things finally clicked, although he wished it wasn't true.
His throat became so dry and he felt so hot. He didn't want to be here anymore. He needed to leave. Go somewhere far far away and never return back. He didn't care about his responsibilities, about his training, about becoming a hero. Without him noticing, his feet moved on his own, carrying him outside of the room, then to the front door and at last deep into the city. He wasn't even aware of the tears streaming down his face. Neither did he notice his classmates calling after him.
Izuku ran and ran until he couldn't breathe and finally collapsed in a small alley. There he brought his knees to his body and finally, finally gave up. Stopped fighting the bad thoughts of not being good enough and let them take over. He had spent his entire life hoping for somehing that would never come. Izuku felt so helplessly alone and the only person who could help him couldn't care less about his well being.
And so he spent his time in that alley, crying for hours and hours without any end. The students at UA had gotten worried, seeing that it was dark and Izuku still hadn't come back. His phone was turned off as well. They didn't know what had happened, especially because he had just won the tournament.
But in his narrow alley, Izuku came to the ironic conclusion that he had been the winner of the fight, but had lost the last chance of a friendship with him.